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TheLivingLegacy
Howtostartmakingadifferenceinninesteps
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Hello,
Manyofuswanttomakeadifference,butwe’renotsurewheretostart.Ifthatgoesfor
youtoo,thenhere’sawaytobecomemuchcleareraboutwhatitisyou’dliketochange…
andthentoputtogetheraplantodoit.
Wecallthisapproach‘thelivinglegacy’.It’snotalegacyinthesensealawyerwould
recognise,butit’salegacynonetheless.It’syourgifttothosearoundyou.
Thereareninesteps.Youcantakethematyourownpace.Eachsteptakesyoudeeper
andfurtheralongtheroutetomakingadifference.Youcangoroundseveraltimes,ifyou
needtogetcleareraboutwhatimpactyouwanttohave.
Thisisn’tatypical‘how-to’guide,andwe’renotgoingtogiveyouthe‘answers’.This
uniqueinteractiveworkbookgivesyouthechancetoanswerquestionsforyourself,and
typethemin,sothatyoucancomebacktoitagainandagain,tweakingandimproving
yourideaseachtime.
Restassuredthatwecan’tseeyouranswers.You’vedownloadedalocalcopy,andyou
caneditit,andshareitwithfriendsandfamily,orkeepittoyourself.
Goodluckwithit!
CharlesKingsmillandTimDrake
howtomakeadifference.co.uk
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TheLivingLegacy
Howtostartmakingadifferenceinninesteps
GettingClear 4
STEP1 MyValues.Whatbeliefsandbehavioursareimportanttome? 5
STEP2 MySkills.WhichskillsandtalentswillIuse? 7
STEP3 MyDomain.InwhichareaofmylifedoIwanttofocus? 9
GettingSharp 10
STEP4 MyPurpose.WhatisthedifferenceIamgoingtomake? 11
STEP5 MyConcept.HowcanIcreateavehicletobringmyideastolife? 12
STEP6 MyStimulus.Whatisdrivingmetodothis? 13
GettingGoing 15
STEP7 Resources.WhathelpandresourceswillIneed? 16
STEP8 Myactionplan.WhatwillIdoandwhen? 17
STEP9 Makingithappen.HowcanIkeepgoing? 18
Afterword 20
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GettingClear
Thereisapathtowardsmakingadifference.Butyourpathmaybedifferentfromanyone
else’s.Beforewedecidewherethatpathwilltakeyou,let’sunderstandwhyyou’reonthe
pathinthefirstplace.Thisisyourstimulustoact.
Andlet’suncoverwhatyoubringwithyouonthatpath–whatvaluesyouhold,andwhat
skillsyoucanoffer.
Thesearethefirststeps,andtheywillhelpyoutogetmuchcleareraboutyourpath.
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Whatareyourvalues? Itseemsstraightforwardenough,butwhenyousitdowntotryandidentifyyourvalues,youarereallymappingyoursoul .Youarelisteningtoyourdeepyearnings,
anddefiningthethingsthatareimportanttoyou.Youareaddressingthemysteryofwhoyou
are.Andthat’scrucialbothforyourlifesatisfactionandforfindingyourpurpose.
Evenfiftyyearsago,thiswouldhaveseemedlikealuxury. Butasdevelopedsocietiesget
richer,wehavemoretimetothinkaboutthingsotherthanjustfindingfood,andclothing
ourselves,andsurvivingfromdaytoday.Asharedmoralpurposeisevolving,aroundintensely
worthwhilethingslikeadesireforjusticeandfairness.Oradesiretosavetheplanetfrom
environmentalcollapseandextinction.
Butwithaffluenceandfreedomcomescomplexity.Wehavetoomanychoices.Wedon’t
knowwhichavenuetofollow,orwhichcausetoespouse.Whichiswherevaluescomein.
Understandingandknowingyourvaluesisasignificantfirststep,takingyouontothepathyou
wanttotread.
Havealookatthevalueslistoverleaf.Whatyouarelookingforarethosefewvalueswhich
aresocentraltoyouthattheywilldirectyourlife.Wesuggestyouaimforbetweenthreeand
ten.Whenyou’velookedthroughthem,we’llstart.
Startbyselectingtheoneswhichplay–orcouldplay-amajorpartinhowyoulive. Be
honestwithyourself.Thequestionisnot“doesthisappealtome”or“wouldthismakemefeelgoodaboutmyself”or“shouldn’tIbedoingsomethingaboutthis?”Thequestionis:“doesthis
mattersodeeplytomethatIamalreadylivingbyit,orpreparedtolivebyit?”
Don’tworryaboutdroppingidealsfromyourlistifthey’renotreallyvalues. Ifyouthinkthat
PhysicalExerciseisimportant,butyoudon’tactuallyexerciseorwanttoexercise,thenthat’s
anideal,notavalue.Itshouldn’tbeonyourlist.Andthat’sfine.Therearenorightorwrong
values.Youareprioritisingwhatisgenuinely,deepdown,importanttoyou.
Thisisn’tanexhaustivelist,soaddinavalueifwe’vemissedit.
Havingtroublegettingdowntoamanageablenumber? IfavalueisimportanttoyouANDyou’relivingthatvalue,keepitonthelist.Ifyou’renotlivingit,andnotpreparedtotake
immediatestepstoliveit,de-selectit.Forexample,ifoneofyourvaluesis honesty,butyou
arekeepingsecretsfromalovedone,orworkinginadishonestindustry,youshouldtakeitoff
yourlist.
Whenyou’vegotdowntoamanageablenumber(tenorfewer),expandontheindividual
words.Writedownasentenceortwoabouteachone,todescribewhatitmeanstoyou.
(Freedom,forexample,meansverydifferentthingstodifferentpeople.)Thiswillhelpyouto
buildupamuchclearerpictureofwhoyouare,andwhatyoustandfor.
Allthismaywelltaketime. Itisnotaquickprocesstoexplorevaluesthathaveeitherlain
dormantorbeensuppressedoveraperiodofpossiblyyears.Butit’sworthdoing,becauseyour
listandyourwordswillremindyouofwhoyouare,andwhoyouarecommittedtobeing.
STEP1:MYVALUESWhatbeliefsandbehavioursareimportanttome?
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THEVALUESLIST
Accountability Fidelity Reliability
Achievement FinancialSecurity Religion
Acknowledgement Forgiveness Respect
Advancement Frankness Safety
Adventure Freedom Security
Affection Friendship Self-Control
Autonomy Fulfilment Self-Esteem
Balance(Home/Work) FutureGenerations Self-Expression
Balance(Physical/Emotional/Mental/Spiritual)
Giving Service
BeingRight Goodness ServingTheCommunity
BeingTheBest Happiness SimplicityBusinessBuilding Harmony SocialResponsibility
Caring Health Spirituality
Challenge HelpingEachOther Spontaneity
Change HelpingTheEnvironment Status
Charity Honesty Strength
Competence Humour TheArts
Competing Iconoclasm TheFuture
ConnectingWithPeople Inclusiveness ThePast
Conservation Independence ThePresent
Control Integrity Trust
Control Intimacy Truth
Cooperation Justice Vitality
Courage Leadership Wealth
Creativity Learning Winning
Culture Love Wisdom
Dignity Loyalty
Egalitarianism Mastery
Elegance Meaning
Empowerment Mercy
Enlightenment Order
Enterprise Peace
Enthusiasm Perseverance
Excellence PersonalDevelopment
Excitement PhysicalFitness
Experience Pleasure
Experiences Privacy
Fame Quality
Family Recognition
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Yourskillsmatter,anditmattersthatyouuseyourskills. Ifyou’reapoorlistener,don’tbecomeatherapist.Ifyou’reclumsy,don’tbecomeasurgeon.Yourpatientswouldn’tthank
you.Ifyou’regoingtomakeadifference,youneedtoputyourskillsandnaturalaptitudesto
work.
Whatskillsandtalentsdoyouhave,andwhichofthemindemand? Thisisamuchmoreopen
exercisethanfindingyourvalues.Howcanwematchupwhattheworldneedswiththeskills
youbring?
Here’sanexercisetohelpyoudojustthat. Compilethesetwolists.
TenthingsI’mgoodatare…
TenthingsIenjoydoingare…
STEP2:MYSKILLSWhichskillandtalentswillIuse?
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Nowfindthethingsincommon .Theremaybeten,theremaybeonlyacouple,buttherearebound
tobesome.Foreachofthem,askyourselfhowotherpeoplecouldfindthemuseful.
Appearedinbothlists Howotherpeoplemightfindthemuseful…
Theanswerswilltellyouwhichskillstothinkaboutusingasyoupursueyourgoalof
makingadifference.
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Asanintroductiontodecidingonyourpurpose, itwillhelptodecideonwhichareaofyourlifeisgoingtobethedomaininwhichyouchoosetomakeadifference.
Domainisn’tacommonwordinthiscontext,soherearesomeexamples. Makeyourown
choice,anddon’tworryifit’snotinthislist–thisisjusttogiveyouanideaofwhat’savailable.
Artistic–willitinvolveyourlifeasapainter/musician/dancer/photographer/sculptor/
engraver/collector/director/cook/flowerarranger/designer/decoratororwhateveris
yourchosenmediumofartisticexpression?
Work–willitinvolveyourworkasadirector/manager/fullorparttimeworker/leader/
tradeunionist/entrepreneurorwhateverroleyoudo,orwish,tofulfilatwork?
Home/Family–willitinvolveyourhusband/wife/partner/child/parent/relative/step
relative,orsomeoneyoucareaboutwhoneedsyourhelporguidanceorsupport?
Spiritual–willitinvolveyourmeditation/religion/faith/personalgodorwhateveryour
higherlevelofbeingthattouchesyoursoul?
Social-willitinvolveyourvolunteering/communitywork/socialserviceorwhateverformof
serviceyoufeelitisimportanttoengagein?
Sport/Games–willitinvolveyourperformance,oryoursupportforyoursupportforyoursport/gameorfitnessactivity?
PhysicalHealth–willyoubeseekingtoimprove/transformyourhealth,inordertobenefit
yourselfandyourlovedones?
MentalHealth–willitinvolveahealthierlifestyle/personaldevelopment/escapefromtoxic
friendsorassociates?
There’sawidechoice ,andfocusingwillhelpyouchooseyourpurpose.
Mydomainwillbe…
STEP3:DOMAINInwhichareaofmylifedoIwanttofocus?
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GettingSharp
Withthesefirstthreestepsbehindyou,youwillalreadybeclearer.Cleareraboutwhy
you’reonthispath,cleareraboutwhatyoucareabout,andcleareraboutwhatskillsand
talentsyoucanbring.Takesometimetolookbackatyouranswers.Updatethemifyou
wish.
Thenextthreestepswillhelpyoutogetsharp.You’llgetclearaboutthedomainofyour
lifeinwhichyouwanttomakeadifference.You’llbedecidingonyourpurpose.And,sothat
youcanarticulateyourplanstootherpeople,we’llencourageyoutofindawaytoturnyour
ideasintoaconcept.
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Thisistheheartofthematter. It’stimetodecideonthedifferenceyou’regoingtomake.
Herearesomeexamplesofpurpose thatmayhelptocrystalliseyourthinking:
Tohelpotherstolearn
Tohelpotherstofeedthemselves
Tohelpotherstoreadandwrite
Tobringlaughterintopeople’slives
Totakeyourgameorsporttoanewlevel
Tobuildanewbusinessparadigmcombiningprofitwithcompassion
Tosaveyoungboysandgirlsfromsexualexploitation
Topaintpictureswhichmovepeople
Totouchpeople’sheartsthroughsong
Topioneeranewcategoryofbioscience
Tobeagreatsurgeontosaveandimprovelives
Tonursepeoplewithcompassionandjoy
Togiveadyingpartnerthehappiestandmostfulfillinglastmonthspossible
Togettraffic-calmingmeasuresatalocalaccidentblackspot
Tohelpex-prisonerslivehappyandusefullivesbackinsociety
Togiveyourchildrenthebestpossiblestart
Andsoon.
Thecrucialthingistodefineapurposethatworksforyou .
Iamgoingto…
Haveagoatwritingdownapurposeforyourself. Livewithitforafewhours,ordays,and
comebacktoitifyouneedto.Yourfirstattempttoarticulateyourpurposeisunlikelytobeyour
last.Ifyou’relucky,you’llhaveaburningclaritythatdominatesyourthinkingandfeelingsfrom
earlyonintheprocessofdecidinghowyou’llmakeadifference.If,liketherestofus,your
purposeisslowtorevealitself,it’slikelythatitwilldevelopandchangeovertime.Itdoesn’t
havetoberightfirsttime.Writedownsomething,thenyoucanimproveonit.
STEP4:MYPURPOSEWhatisthedifferenceIamgoingtomake?
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It’stimetoengagetheoutsideworld. It’sallverywellhavingthedesiretomakeadifference,butthenextchallengeistosharewhat’sinyourheartandwhat’sinyourhead.Youneeda
vehicleforyourideas,andthat’swherehavingaconceptcomesin.
Thewaytostartisbywritingdownyourpurpose,andthentowritedownyourbestideafor
tacklingtheproblem.Soforexample:
• Mypurposeistohelpotherswhoaresufferingfromthesamediseasethatmysisterhad…
…soIwillsetupacharitytohelpthem.
• MypurposeistomakethecompanyIworkformoreenvironmentallyfriendly...
…soIwillputtogethera‘greencommittee’inmyworkplace.
• Mypurposeistohelpboredlocalkids…
…soIwillhireamusicalvenueandhelpthemformbands,choirsorrapgroups.
Andthenjustturnitround:
• I’llsetupacharitytohelpotherpeoplewithsuch-and-suchadisease.
• I’llforma‘greencommittee’atworktofindwaysofmakingtheorganisationmore
sustainable.
• I’llprovidemusicalopportunitiesforlocalkidswhoneedmorecreativeoutletsfortheir
energies.
Thiscanbeeasy,oritcanbehard. Someconceptsarefairlyself-evident,butothersdemand
profoundreflection–coupledwithsomeimagination–toprovideasolution.Youmaywantto
lookforradical,innovativeconceptsthatwillcreatesufficientnewvaluetochangethings.Oryou
maydecidetoworkwithexistingcharitiesororganisationsworkingtowardsthesamepurpose.
Thisismypurpose,andalsomybestideafortacklingtheproblem…
Somyconceptis…
STEP5:MYCONCEPTHowcanIcreateavehicletobringmyideastolife?
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Areyounotyetclearaboutwhatsortofdifferenceyouwanttomake? Thenlet’sbeginbyfindingaseedwiththepotentialtobecomesomethingmuchlarger.We’regoingtoencourage
youtoidentifyyourstimulus.
Astimulusisanysituationorfactoranecdotewhichstirsyouintowantingtoact.
Thestimuluscansometimesprovideyourpurpose.
• Havingsomeoneclosetoyoudiecanbethestimulustoraisefundstohelpprevent
similardeaths,ortochannelthecompassioncreatedbythetragedyintosomenew,life-
enhancingproject.
• Seeingpicturesofanaturaldisasterlikeanearthquakeoratsunamicanstiryour
compassionwithanintensitythatmakesyoufeelthatyouhavetodosomethingpositive
asahumanbeingtohelpthesituation.
• Orseeingwastefuldestructionofwildlife,orenvironments,maystiryouranger,soyou
feelanurgentneedtodosomethingtoimprovethesituation.
Findasituationwhichyoufeelisunresolved,andwhichstirsyou.Maybeyou’reangry,orupset,
orsaddened.Youhavetofindsomesortofresonantcompassionwithinyourself.Ifyou’renot
stirred,lookelsewhere.Ifyou’restruggling,tryreadingJessicaWilliams’book“50FactsthatShouldChangetheWorld”.Then,justhaveago.
Mystimulusis…
Ifyoufeelyou’reintherightarea,butyouhaven’tquitenailedit,trytoenhanceyourstimulus.
Dosomeactiveresearchtopinpointtheexactareaofthechallengeyoufindmostengaging.This
islikelytheareayouwillfindmostrewardingwhenyousetaboutmakingthedifference.You
willthereforebemoreenergised,andmorecapableofrisingtothechallengeswhichwillinevitablycomeonthejourney.
STEP6:MYSTIMULUSWhatisdrivingmetodothis?
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Supposeyourstimuluscameaboutwhenyousawadocumentaryaboutstarvation. Areyouup
forsomeresearch?(Ifnot,youneedadifferenttopic.)ResearchthesubjectontheInternet,see
whatcharitiesarealreadyinvolvedintryingtohelp.Talktooneortwoofthem,andifpossible,
talktopeopleoperatinginthefield–engagingwiththeproblematfirsthand.Ifyoucan,makea
triptotheregionthatinterestsyoumost,andexperiencethesituationinperson.Watch
fundraisingeventsstagedbysomeoftheTVchannels.Celebritiesoftengoouttowitnessevents
atfirsthand,andyoucanseetheimportanceofwhattheyaredoingmovefromtheirheadsto
theirhearts.Youcanseetheyaremovedbywhattheyareseeing,andtheirfundraisingefforts
aremuchmorepowerfulasaresult.
Revisitingyourstimuluskeepsyourintentiontomakeadifferencepowerfullyinyourheart ,
andpreventsitslippingbackintoyourhead.Itkeepsyourcourageandmotivationstrong,and
remindsyouwhyyouarestrivingtocreatevaluetobringaboutapositivedifference.Andit
givesyoufreshenergy.
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GetGoing
You’resixstepsalongthepath. You’vesharpenedyoururgetomakeadifferenceintoaspecific
purpose.Andyouhaveaconceptoravehicle,tobringittolife.Reviewwhereyou’vegottoso
far.Amendyouranswers,asmanytimesasyouwish,aslongasyougenuinelyfeelyou’regettingclosertothepurposeandconceptthatyou’regoingtodevoteyourselfto.
Thenextthreestepswilltakeyourideasfromthepagetotherealworld. You’llbegathering
helpandresources,followinganactionplan,andmakingthingshappen.
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Armedwithyourconcept,youcanaskforhelp. You’reclearnowaboutwhatyou’retryingtodo,andwhyyou’retryingtodoit.Canyoudoitalone?Maybe,maybenot.Butyourpurposeis
rootedinanoblecause,sowhynotaskforhelpandresources?
Helpcantakemanyforms: time,money,ideas,hardwork,expertise,introductions,physical
resources…anddon’tforgetmoralsupport.Whatyouneed,andwhoyoucanask,iscompletely
dependentonyourconcept.Butit’sworthwritingitalldown,becauseyourplanswillbeheavily
affectedbywhetherornotyougetthoseresources.
ThisisthehelpIneed AndthisiswhoIwillask
STEP7:RESOURCES WhathelpandresourceswillIneed?
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Planshelpyoutobridgethegapbetweenyourintentionsandactually doingsomething.Thisisaseriousquestthatyou’reinvolvedwith,anditdeservesproperplanning.Trytocapturethe
majorstepsandadddatestothem.Theywillbemilestonesalongthepath.
Action# Whatwillbedone? Who’lldoit?Deadline
STEP8:MYACTIONPLAN WhatwillIdoandwhen?
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Younowhaveaplan.But… anyplanorintentionisonlyasgoodasourabilityandwillingnessto
implementit.There'softenadisconnectbetweenwhatweplanandwhatwedo.Somepeople
runaheadanddothingswithverylittleplanning.Othersplanandplanbutneveractontheir
plans.
MakingadifferenceismuchharderthanNOTmakingone! So,herearesomeideasforwhen
youfeelstuckordauntedordispirited.
Ifyoufaceseeminglyoverwhelmingchallenges…
• Startfromapositionofoptimism. Ithelpsfromapsychologicalpointofviewbutalsoa
practicalone.Youwillachievemore,andpeoplewilllistentoyoumore,ifyouhaveacan-doapproach.FocusingonwhatweCANdoisinfinitelymoreproductivethan
focusingonwhatwecan'tdo.
• Findsomelike-mindedpeopleandorganisationswhoareactive-orwhocouldbeactive-inyourareaofconcern.Mastermindgroupscanbeextremelyeffectiveindeveloping
thinking,andmakingthingshappen.
Ifyoufindyourselfprocrastinating…
• Developamindsetof“positivefailure”. Gettingoutofyourcomfortzonetodothebig
stufftomakeadifferencewillinevitablybringsomefailures.Acceptthefailuresasproof
youaremakingprogress.Seethemasabadgeofcourage.Keepfailingpositivelyuntil
youstarttosucceed.
• Makethingssmaller -onethingadaytogetyouclosertoyourgoal.Eventwominutes.
AcoachcalledCherylMillercallsthis'microbursts'-veryshortburstsofenergyaimedat
aparticularproblem.Takebitesizedchunks–atspeed.
Ifyoucan’tstartuntilit’sperfect…
• Forgetperfect.Attheheartofthis,there'saworryaboutbeingcriticised.Thelessonhereisthatunlessyou'reMozart,there'snosuchthingasperfect.Afteryougetto98%
you'regoingbackwards.You'reprobablyfillingupyourmindwithirrelevantdetailthat
hasnoplaceintheoutsideworld.Soletgoalittleandseewhathappens.
• Valuelearningfrommistakes. Wedon'tlikemakingmistakesorbeingridiculed.And
that'squiteunderstandable.Butexperience-includingmistakes-isagreatteacher.
Mostsuccessfulpeoplehaveastringofmistakesbehindthem.Rememberyourstrengths
-tapintoyourpassion-takeyourcourageinbothhands-andtry.
STEP9:MAKINGITHAPPEN HowcanIkeepgoing?
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Ifyou’rejusttoobusy…
• Askyourself:iswhateverI’mdoingagooduseofmytimerightnow? Havingapurpose,beingclearaboutyourvalues-bothhelpyoutofigureoutwhat'simportant.Butitalso
meansdroppingwhat'strivial.
Ifyou’refeelingstressed…
• Beawarethatgoingthroughalltheseexercisesisawayoffindingalifewithmuchlessstress.Evenifwearetryingdoachievesomethingwhichisverydifficult.Ifyouare
alignedwithyourpurposeandyourvaluesthenyouwillbemoreenergetic,morealert,
moreatpeacewithyourself.More'inthezone'asathletessay.Positivestressgives
energy.Negativestressarisesbecausewefollowpathswhichareatoddswithourvalues
andtalents.
• Anticipatethatyouwillhavesetbacks. Realisethatit'snotaboutyou.Ultimately,allexperienceisuseful…
• Rememberthatdistressisdifferentfromstress. Ifyou'reworkingwithseriouslyillordamagedpeople,youmaywellfindyourworkdistressing.Youwouldnotbefullyhuman
ifyoudidn’t.Butexhaustingasitis,itwillbeultimatelypositive.Youwon'tberipping
yourselfapartifthatiswhatyouhavechoseninthelightofyourpurposeandvalues.
Otherwaystogetthingsmoving…
• Involveotherpeople.Onewayofachievingresultsthroughothersislearningtoinfluencethem.Todothis,youmuststepintotheirshoes,toshowthatyouunderstand
theirissues,andappealtotheirvaluesandfinerfeelings.Beingpassionateisagreat
persuader.
• Learntodelegate -ifyouhavepeopletodelegateto.
• Makepubliccommitments.Ifyoumakeacommitmentinfrontofotherpeople,they
canactasyourconscienceandholdyoutoaccount.
• Ifyou’vedonealltheexerciseswell,thenyouwillhavebrokendownmanyofthebarrierstopurposefulaction. Theexercisesareintenselypersonal,andwhenyouidentifythingslikepurposeandvaluesthatareveryrelevanttoyou,theycanbeahuge
sourceofinspirationandenergy.
• Referbacktoyourpurposeandvaluesandcommitmentsregularly. Theymaychange
overtime,oryoumayredefineorrefinewhat'simportanttoyou.Butkeepthemalive.
Postthemsomewherewhereyoucanseethem.
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Afterword
You’vebeguntomakeadifference.
Youknowit’sgoingtogettough,ifithasn’talready. Theremaybetimeswhenyou’llwishyou
neverstarted.Butyou’veactedonyourstimulus.You’veworkedoutwhatyouwanttodo.
You’recommitted.You’regoingtoneedcourage.
Solet’sreviewsomeofthebenefitsofthepathyou’retaking.
Youarebuildingyourcharacter. You’reclearaboutyourpurposeandyourvalues.
Youareinspiringothers. Values,confidence,enthusiasm,passion–theyallenthuse
otherpeople.
You’retakingresponsibility. You’renotpassingthebuck.
You’reactingaccordingtoyourconscience. Thelightbywhichyoujudgeyouractions
burnsbrightly.
Yourlifehasmeaning.Youractionssaymorethanwordsevercould.Eventhewordsin
thisworkbook!
Aboveallelse,otherpeople’slivesarericherforyourpresence.
Sostandtall,differencemaker,andbeproudofyourLivingLegacy.