Download - The Squeaky Clean Legacy, Chapter Two
The Squeaky Clean Legacy By Professor Butters
Chapter Two
Gree$ngs. I'm Professor Bu2ers. . .
And my two adorable companions, Burt and Dizz, who are much as pictured here. In any case, we're only here to give you the next chapter of the Squeaky Clean Legacy, which is, um, Squeaky Clean. Only girls inherit, there is only marital WooHoo and only Try For Baby. When we last leN the Goodytwoshoes, they had one son-‐-‐Mor$mer-‐-‐and a lullaby had just rung out. Uh-‐oh.
Thank goodness I don't really live in this charmingly rus$c shack in Pleasantview. But at least it's nice and quiet, unlike the Goodytwoshoes' place, with, as you'll see, seven kids and several cats. There are a few more twists to a Squeaky Clean Legacy: you can only move in someone you're engaged to. You can break an engagement, but not aNer they've moved in-‐-‐you have to marry them, and you have to stay married. The consequence of breaking these rules? Instant disinheritance! Non-‐heirs living in the house follow the Not Under My Roof rule: they can WooHoo like mad, but only somewhere else, like a photo booth or a hot tub on a community lot. Like I said-‐-‐I don't have to live there.
Early parenthood, and Rosie, our foundress, has fallen asleep in her food. And who can blame her? She's pregnant and caring for babies and toddlers all the $me. She had a career in show business, but got fired for never showing up. And she is a bit of a dumb blond, I'm afraid.
Uh, kid? Kid? Could you please wait $ll you get to the cake to grow up?
Nope, Mor$mer didn't wait $ll he got to the cake, he grew up from toddler to child right aNer ge\ng off the po2y.
This puts a whole new spin on "growing up well." Mor$mer's got his Dad's facial features (oh, well) and his Mommy's eyes. Six neat points, two shy points, six ac$ve points, five serious, and six nice points. A pre2y balanced personality, only he's really, really shy.
Well, we can't waste a cake, and Abner is about old enough to be a toddler anyway, so here goes.
Kaboom! Abner is hurled into toddlerhood!
And here's Abner! He was such a cute toddler, pity he didn't stay that way.
And Abner grows into a child. ANer Mor$mer, I started to name the kids aNer characters in Al Capp's old comic strip "Li'l Abner." Ten neat points-‐-‐he cleans up aNer everybody in the house-‐-‐three shy, nine ac$ve points, nine playful, and one single nice point. He's a grouchy child, though honestly I can't tell un$l they get a li2le older.
Oh, come on, Shane. This can't be that much of a surprise. It's not like you haven't seen it before.
Yes, it's another baby, and this $me, finally, it's a girl, named Daisie Mae, aNer the heroine of L'il Abner. Good thing, as only a girl can inherit in this family.
This is a pre2y big event-‐-‐Mor$mer grows up into a teenager.
Abner and Miau watch as Mor$mer's rear end explodes, annnnd. . .
Happy birthday, Mor$mer!. . .and ewww. Look at those cheeks.
Oh, ewww! His father's cheeks and lips look even worse on him! Good thing you're not eligible to be the heir. To the mirror with you, young man, and make it snappy.
Well, that's a li2le bit be2er. The stubble hides the chipmunk cheeks.
Sorry, Remington, I'm a married woman. Come around next genera$on and we'll see what we can do.
When Daisie Mae's first birthday rolled around, there was $me for an actual party.
Sure you don't want to be adopted into the family, Remington?
Right in the middle of the party, and the new female cat, Miau, thinks about how much she hates the mailman.
Daisie Mae celebrates becoming a toddler by immediately loading her pants.
This was an a2empt to have at least one other girl. Twin boys! TWIN BOYS! Of all the ro2en luck! That's Sam in the background, and Abijah in the front. Abijah Gooch is one of Daisie Mae's unsuccessful suitors in Li'l Abner. Sam should have been named aNer the other one, Hannibal Hoops, but I couldn't do that to him and named him aNer Marryin' Sam instead.
Abner follows the family tradi$on of growing up fresh off the toilet. He's also the first Fortune Sim in the family.
Whoo-‐hoo! Daisie Mae grows up well! Six neat points, two shy, six ac$ve, five serious, and six nice points, the same distribu$on as her brother Mor$mer.
There's our heiress Daisie Mae-‐-‐a nice, well-‐behaved Knowledge Sim, which makes my job easier.
Abijah gets an A+ in school, but no one is around to no$ce.
Double spin . . .
. . .and double grow-‐up. That's Abijah on the leN, and Sam on the right. Abijah has the same basic personality as his older brother Abner-‐-‐i.e. maxed-‐out neat, somewhat shy, very playful, very ac$ve, and very, very grouchy: only one nice point. Sam is more like his brother Mor$mer and sister Daisie Mae. The twins are both Knowledge Sims, but this will probably change in college.
For some reason, both Remington and Dominic (the llama mascot) decided to take showers at Daisie Mae's birthday party. I guess it's a very nice shower.
Whoo. Miau is one grouchy cat. She hates the mailman, she hates Remington, and she definitely hates Bonkers. And Bonkers hates her right back, so this does not bode well for a Petacy.
Even aNer a lot of marriage and a lot of kids, Rosie s$ll dreams li2le hearts about Shane. Awwww.
Hmm. This is certainly going well. Maybe Remington has a thing for blondes.
Bonkers in mid-‐flip, with Miau in the background.
Miau ran away. Luckily I put collars on all my pets. It was a happy day when Miau was brought home. Doesn't she look smug? But she and Bonkers were such enemies that the Goodytwoshoes put her up for adop$on.
Daisie Mae pain$ng her mom. I like the idea of each new heir pain$ng the previous one.
There it is. . .the portrait of the foundress Rosie Goodytwoshoes, painted by her daughter and heiress Daisie Mae.
Another remodel. We're s$cking with the sugary pink Barbie Dream House theme.
Daisie Mae pain$ng. You can see the portrait of her mother in the background.
I admit it. . .I like Mor$mer. I conjured up a toilet out of thin air, just for him. Eventually it got moved inside, but it first appeared so he wouldn't be forced to pee himself.
As the eldest, Mor$mer was the first to start skilling away, and the first to use Dad's new surgical sta$on.
The cats hate the TV and the stereo on, so the TV is outside and the stereo gets turned off if they're $red and want to sleep. Yes, the cats rule the house. It's just like real life.
The sad fact about this house is that the cat makes more income than anybody else. Bonkers is in show biz, and he is a star, thank you very much.
Well, of course I'll be your best friend, Remington.
Rosie and Shane flir$ng with all the kids in bed and my hands off the controls. Aww, you two. Please don't have another baby.
Bonkers was so snobby that aNer trying three different girl cats, the Goodytwoshoes put him up for adop$on, too. Here's Shane, blubbering about it. The top earner in the household and they didn't get a dime-‐-‐that's penalty enough, don't you think? And they all miss him, but we need a coopera$ve founding cat.
Don't even think about it, you two.
But of course they will, because they're both family sims and Rosie wants to marry off six kids.
In what is becoming an all-‐too-‐familiar scene, Rosie heaves again.
Shane's excited about the new baby, but not enough to quit making the bed.
And there's li2le Hopeful, the second girl, on the floor. Another birthday party with the usual suspects and the oldest boys invited home from college.
Don't be deceived by Hopeful's cuteness. She's almost pre\er than her sister, but she is a mean cuss like her brothers Abner and Abijah.
Mor$mer and Abner working out in the gym at Sim State. Their parents met here and if it's good enough for their parents, it's good enough for them. Mor$mer is even wearing sweats just like his Dad's and falling off the treadmill like his Mom.
I gave up! I gave up! This is Dreamboat, the third girl cat we tried out on Bonkers, and Max, the boy we got for her. They were compa$ble, but my cats would not make friends. This is the only $me I cheated, and it was just to pull the cats' rela$onship meter up so we could get this Petacy rolling!
And it worked. . . Dreamboat is thinking about Max. Sweet roman$c dumb girl that she is, sort of like Rosie.
And here's the results. . . two girl ki2ens, Darling and Dearest. Dreamboat seems to be a good cat mom, so far.
Why is this even a ques$on anymore, Rosie? What is this, the sixth? The seventh? I've lost track. My fault for not le\ng you age and le\ng you WooHoo.
I'm a real sicko, I know, but this is one of my favorite things, the closest thing The Sims has to yacking up a furball. If only they were colorless and disappeared instantly.
This is the last $me we'll be seeing this, thank goodness.
Hawkins grows up, exci$ng for him, but the poor thing is the spare of all spares. He can't inherit-‐-‐he's a boy-‐-‐and his mom only wants to marry off six kids. I have an idea, Hawkins-‐-‐why don't you go look at clouds?
Hawkins is named aNer Sadie Hawkins, the woman behind Sadie Hawkins Day. On Sadie Hawkins Day all the fear-‐crazed bachelors take off a-‐runnin' and the marriage-‐crazed wimmin take off aNer them, and any man they catch has to marry them. Kind of like this Legacy.
So with six of the kids off to Sim State, the boys and I will take a much-‐earned rest un$l the next chapter of the Squeaky Clean Legacy! Happy simming!