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    worsethan murder

    a

    SPECIAL ISSUE

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    C O N T E N T S

    Why isnt thatStealing too?Eli: Why is there a separate law against using dishonest

    weights? Thats stealing. I know I cant steal, so using dishon-

    est weights is included in that law against stealing. Why does

    the Torah have an additional law about these weights?

    Rabbi: These weights involve a second corruption. A single

    act of stealing doesn't mean its a way of life. But someone

    who makes such weights indicates a philosophy of life, no

    single act of greed. A person who keeps these weights is

    worse than a crook.

    This explains why Deuteronomy doesnt prohibit the u

    of these false weights as we find in Leviticus. In Deut

    onomy, we are prohibited to simply have them in

    pockets or homes. Possession indicates a philosophy.

    e Jewsihtimes is

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    eekly Journal on Jewish Thought

    3Letters RABBI MOSHE BEN-CHAIM

    Why is there a law of unjust weights;laws of stealing suffice? We explore

    Ibn Ezras masterful insights into

    Koheles on psychology.

    4Worse than MurderRABBI MOSHE BEN-CHAIM

    Maimonides opens our eyes to the

    Torahs clues and great insights into

    sin, Lashon Hara and what consti-

    tutes our greatest deviation.

    9 Lashon Hara RABBI MOSHE BEN-CHAIM

    We examine the Torahs verses anda number of sources that reveal

    Lashon Haras many facets and the

    flaws in human nature.

    12Limits of Education RABBI BERNIE FOX

    Rabbi Fox addresses Lashon Hara

    and Jewish educational issues via a

    case and point approach.

    14Mercy on Creation RABBI REUVEN MANN

    Rabbi Mann share his insightsthe Parsha, discussing Gods m

    and the reason for grouping

    verses.

    18Evil Speech JESSIE FISCHBEIN

    Mrs. Fischbein opens our eye

    novel insights about our i

    workings when we engage La

    Hara.

    LETTERS

    WWW.MESORA.ORG/JEWISHTIMES APR. 26, 2013 |

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    A friend suggested we study Maimonides'

    writings on Lashon Hara found in Pirkei Avos

    1:17. Maimonides words (quoting the Tosefta

    and Talmud Arachin 15a) were a preciousfind. The Tosefta says, For 3 sins, man is

    punished in this world and loses his afterlife:

    for idolatry, sexual prohibitions, and murder;

    and Lashon Hara is equivalent to them all.

    Maimonides then quotes Arachin that says each of

    3 cardinal sins is described in Torah verses using

    word "great" (gadol). Regarding idolatry, Moses said

    the Jews' Golden Calf sin,"The people sinned a great(Exod. 32:31)". Regarding sexual prohibitions, Joserefused to sleep with Potiphar's wife saying, "How ca

    commit this great evil (Gen. 39:9)?" And regardmurder, Cain said of God's punishment of banishment

    killing his brother Abel, "My sin is greater than I can b(Gen. 4:13)."But regarding Lashon Hara, the verse s"Mouths that speak greatnesses (Psalms 12:4),"usingplural "greatnesses", and not merely using the w

    "great" in the singular as the 3 sins above. This

    understood to indicate that Lashon Hara incorporates

    3 sins, i.e., it includes all the "greatnesses" of the

    cardinal sins.

    worse

    than murder

    a

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    To clarify, the word "great" here refers to"severe." Moses, Joseph and Cain all viewedthe sins as severe, and not minor infractions.

    But what is this message; in what mannerare these 3 sins "severe" when compared toall others? It is amazing that the Torah is soprecise, and so generous with its clues.Maimonides draws our attention to the factthat Torah goes out of its way to signal us toa pattern of the repeating word "great" inconnection with these 3 sins. Then, it goesone further, and uses the word great in theplural "greatnesses" to teach that LashonHara incorporates all the evils found inidolatry, sexual prohibitions and murder. Inother words, God wrote his Torah throughHis Prophets in a style that hints at deeperideas. For this alone we must feel a sense ofappreciation for the Creator's method ofteaching us.

    So what is the severity in the 3 sins, notfound in other sins? And how is LashonHara equivalent to these three sins?

    An example is useful here. In terms ofharming one's self, not harming others,

    which sin is more severe: being overly-jealous, or never giving charity? Both are

    extremes. I would say the latter is worse.Why? It is because one is corrupted in thearea of justice, which is far more significantof moral decay than one's feelings of envy.My acts of justice reflect a more primarynature in man than envy.

    What makes one attitude or moral moresignificant than others? This depends on it'scentrality to our being. As humans, we havemajor and minor components. We have amultitude of attitudes and emotions: envy,sorrow, pity, remorse, humor, delight,revenge, apathy, ambition, the list goes on. Ifwe are deviant in any of these feelings or

    attitudes, it is not as corrupt as being deviantin major components of ourselves. I refer towhat psychologists and our great Rabbisagree are our 3 major components: 1) thesoul (intelligence), 2) instinctual drives, and3) the ego. The Rabbis call these neshama,nefesh and ruach respectively. Freud calledthem the superego, the id, and the ego. (SeeIbn Ezra on Koheles 7:3 for a marvelousanalysis, also included in this week'sJewishtimes Letters section.)

    Now, if we are deviant in our primarycomponents, then as "man and woman" weare more corrupt, than if we deviate in minoremotions. This is understood. Being a sloppydresser is not as bad as being crooked inbusiness due to ego emotions. For our styleis not central to our definition as a human,whereas ego is a primary component. If wecorrupt our egos, that which is more centralin ourselves is corrupt, so the sin is worse.Similarly, the sicker person is one with liverdisease, not one with a wart. We can nowanswer what makes these 3 sins so severe.

    (continued on page 7)

    When man is corrupt in his

    primary faculties, his sin is

    more severe. Idolatry, sexual

    violations and murder are

    corruptions of our 3 major

    faculties: the soul, theinstincts and the ego,

    respectively.

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    SuperstitionDemonsBashertEvil EyeRebbe WorshipSegulasSatanAngelsWestern Wall Prayers

    Red BendelsKabbalaMysticism

    MiraclesWhat is God?Jewish SoulsTalmudic StoriMetaphorsBelief vs. ProofDo Rabbis Err?Gentile EqualitMans Purpose

    PARTIAL CHAPTER LIST

    RABBI REUVEN MANN Rabbi, Y. Israel of PhoenixRabbi Moshe Ben-Chaim has written extensively on Jewishphilosophy for many years. His ideas are rooted in a rationalapproach. He follows the great philosophers like Rambam andSaadia Gaon. He is opposed to all forms of mysticism and seeksto debunk all practices and beliefs which are rooted in superstitionand contrary to reason. This work covers a wide variety of topics, of

    interest to contemporary; insightful analyses of Biblical narratives as well as thesignificance of many mitzvot. Rabbi Ben-Chaim demonstrates that Judaism canbe harmonized with human reason. He is not afraid to ask the most penetratingand challenging questions as he is convinced that Torah is the Word of God andbased on the highest form of wisdom. Jews who have a profound desire to makesense out of their religion will benefit greatly from reading this book.

    RABBI STEVEN WEIL Executive Vice President, The Orthodox UnionRabbi Moshe Ben-Chaim asks critical, crucial and defining ques-tions that any thinking Jew needs to ask. His method enables thereader to explore and engage our theology in a meaningful andserious way. Following the Rishonim, he forces us to define, weighand analyze each phrase of chazal, showing there is no contradic-

    tion between an investigation of Science and an investigation ofJudaism. Rabbi Ben-Chaim has written a work that addresses the thinking personof all faiths. This work speaks to the scholar and lay person alike and will helpyou gain insight into how the great Rishonim define how we view the world.Rabbi Ben-Chaims website, Mesora.org is a very serious tool and resource forthinking human beings who want to engage and explore the Almighty, theAlmightys universe and do so within the realm of wisdom, rationality andintellectual honesty.

    by JewishTimes publisherRabbi Moshe Ben-Chaim

    Is Torah mysticalor rational, just likeGods natural laws?Its time a book unveiled the truth.Is Torah a set of incomprehensible mystical beliefs, as kabbalistssuggestor perfectly reasonable and brilliantly insightful?Finally learn directly from Torah texts and our greatest Rabbis,precisely why mysticism is false, not Torah, and not Gods will.Religion of Reason unveils widespread Jewish mystical beliefsas false, and prohibited. Torah is presented in its rational andprovable naturejust like Gods natural laws. There are nopowers besides God, and He prohibits belief in mysticism.

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    Idolatry occurs when man's grip on realityis lost. He accepts his imagination andfantasy as real. Thus, he bows and prays tostone idols. He has erred in the mostimportant area: what God is. His soul isseverely damaged, unlike one who thinks

    blue is red. In both cases, one maintains afalsehood. But the greater the falsehood, themore corrupt the person.

    One who cannot control his sexual desireand sleeps with a married woman hascorrupted his instinctual makeup. If thismakeup is not under his control, he lives likean animal and forfeits his purpose to live asan intelligent being. And one who murdersdoes so, as he views another person'sexistence as a threat to his ego. In his world,he feels he set things "right" when the threatis no longer alive.

    In all three, the person has distanced

    himself from God; either through corrupt soulas he thinks God is something else; throughoverindulgence in lusts which removes himfrom a life as an intelligent being, or placinghimself not God as the center of theuniverse by murdering others. This explainswhy these three sinners are punished here,and forfeit the afterlife. All 3 sinners havedeviated severely (gadol) from the path Godset for mankind. Their lives no longer havevalue. Their souls are destroyed, unless theyrepent. This is why the word "great" isreserved for application to these 3 sins, for itis these alone, wherein man deviates in hismajor components.

    How is Lashon Hara equivalent to these 3?

    We must appreciate that speech is a verygratifying tool; we feel actual satisfactionthrough our words. This makes it akin tosexual prohibition, for it too aims at satisfac-tion of an instinctual drive.

    When speaking Lashon Hara, we are

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    intent on character assassination. We don'twish to pay the consequence of a prisonterm for murder, so we "kill" the person wehate through speech. This is how it is akin tomurder. We view another person asworthless, for they threaten our ego. Our

    concept of ourself in this case is the "centerof reality," and this obscures God's position.

    Lashon Hara is also akin to idolatry, as wesaid, one fabricates a "setting it straight"scenario in his psyche when he deridesanother. In his fantasies he feels that throughLashon Hara, he got even. But in fact,nothing transpired at all, just as nothing istrue about the belief in idols hearing one'sprayers. In Lashon Hara and idolatry, oneaccepts imagination as reality.

    What's worse, is that Lashon Hara eventu-ally makes a person deny God, as King Davidsaid, "They say, 'We will grow mighty with

    our tongues; our lips are with us, who canrule us (Psalms 12:5)'!" One feels throughspeech, he attained power over reality; hehas created statements heard by others andin his fantasy, he equates his words with truereality. Their is an invincible feeling sensedby one who speaks. This is the messageKing David revealed to us.

    Great sins are where we deviate from Godin the most severe degree. This occurs whena major component of our beings is sinful.Our major components of soul, instincts andego are the focus in the big 3 sins, and inLashon Hara.

    God communicated His knowledge to theProphets. He hinted to subtle clues in manymanners. And in our case He hinted byreserving the use of the word "great" to 3sins, and Lashon Hara. The Rabbis picked upon this repetition, and taught us God's intentas learned from His prophets.

    Fortunate are we who have the Torah.

    God hinted to us...He

    repeated the word great

    regarding the 3 sins, and

    Lashon Hara. The Rabbis

    picked up on this repetition,

    and taught us Gods intent aslearned from His prophets.

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    From the ease of violation to theprofound words of our Rabbis and Sagesaddressing our human nature, theres muchto discuss regarding the prohibition andappeal of Lashon Hara. What is so wrong

    with Lashon Hara? What is the appeal?Why does Maimonides say it equates tosexual immorality, idolatry and murder:

    three sins causing punishment here, and theloss of Olam Haba? As God structured alllaws, there must be great insight; farsurpassing our simple understanding ofdegrading others. Hopefully the sourcesquoted herein will sensitize us to thedamage we cause others, and ourselves.

    The Torah Prohibition

    A Rabbi once taught that the source for

    any Torah law is derived from the FiveBooks the Chumash. Prophets and

    Writings may elaborate that law, but theseother books cannot add a new law to the613.

    Leviticus 19:16 says, Do not go as atalebearer in your people, and do not stand

    by the blood of your friend, I am God. InHilchos Dayos 7:1 Maimonides explains

    why the talebearer is placed in the sameverse as a murderer: from the tales we

    spread, we can cause many deathMaimonides cites the example of Doeg tEdomite whose words although nnegative in themselves caused tmurders of many innocents. We may al

    add that slander is an act of assassinatiocharacter assassination. When we slandeon some level we wish the demise of tpersonality we attack. King Solomon saone has thrown arrows at another.

    Maimonides states that this case of Dois an example of the head category, Richluss. Richiluss is the act transferriprivate information from one to anothethat which is not yet public knowledge. ThRabbis argue whether this informatiomust be negative, or as Maimonidteaches, even neutral information. But agree that the violation is in spreadin

    gossip. Maimonides already explained whis so negative about this: many can die. Bis there something negative lurking insi

    the one who spreads gossip, inside thinstigator? Lets first list the other thrsubcategories of Richiluss. And they asubcategories, since they are only quantittively different from Richiluss.

    Richiluss is spreading information, bthe manner in which we do so may comunder one of the three other heading

    (continued on next p

    LASHONHARA

    Rabbi Moshe Ben-Chaim

    Whatdo theSources

    Reveal?

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    (continued on next page)

    Maimonides then formulates the secondcategory:

    There is yet another sin much greaterthan this, in this category, and it is calledLashon Hara. It is the act of speaking ofthe negative aspects of ones friend, even

    though he speaks the truth.Maimonides third category is MotzeiShame Ra, or character assassination.This refers to one who spreads lies aboutothers. But quite interesting is

    Maimonides fourth and final category,Bal Lashon Hara, or the a frequenter ofLashon Hara. Why is this its owncategory? Maimonides defines this infrac-tion:

    One who sits and recites matters aboutanother, that his forefathers were such and

    such people, and that he heard certain matters

    concerning him, and all he says are matters ofderision. On this [case] does the Torah say,

    God should cut off all those with smooth lips,tongues that speak grandiose matters

    (Psalms 12:4).

    Lets start to understand Lashon Hara

    King David on Lashon Hara

    God should cut off all those with smoothlips, tongues that speak grandiose matters(Psalms 12:4).

    This verse in Psalms commences with

    God. Why is this so? Many verses in theTorah that cite evildoers merely addressthe evil; God is not mentioned in the

    verse. God is included here since manwishes self-aggrandizement. Our egos arevery powerful, always seeking satisfac-tion. And when we encounter someone

    we estimate (correctly or not) is superiorto ourselves, our egos sense a threat andgo into defense modeunless we have

    come to learn that such competition isagainst the goals of the Torah. Therefore,King David carefully wrote, God shouldcut off all those with smooth lips, tongues

    that speak grandiose matters. God ismentioned in purposeful contrast to thesinful objective of the talebearer, whomKing David says wishes to speak grandi-ose matters. The speaker is attempting toelevate himself. Therefore, King Davidpits God against man in this verse tohighlight the issue. Man should not seekcompetitive advantage, but rather, heshould be cognizant God, who is superior

    to you. Contemplating this, man willhopefully humble himself. The next versein Psalms continues this theme:

    That they say, With our tongues we shall

    become powerful; our lips are with us, whowill rule over us!

    Maimonides states that these peopledeny God, as they say, Who will rule over

    us! What additional aspects of the sin arehighlighted in this verse?

    The ego senses that with the power ofspeech, we may project a grandiose imageof ourselves: we can manipulate howothers see realityhow we see reality. Wecan cause much damage. That is the firstlesson of with our tongues we will

    become powerful.Then they say something strange, our

    lips are with us... This unveils a deep

    emotion. Man feels that what is in hiscontrol, is his to do with as he pleases.

    Another aspect of the ego is therebyunveiled: total domination. The egorejects opposition and restraint.

    I once witnessed a lecturer in his fiftiesgo into an intolerant, screaming frenzy

    when someone much younger thanhimself corrected him during his class.Egomaniacs do not seek truth, but rather,

    a platform for projecting their great-ness. The last words embody their goal,Who will rule over us! That is not aquestion. They are saying, no one will

    rule over us! Lashon Hara seeksunrivaled expression, and pity the person

    who stands in opposition. We must realizethis unruly part of human nature. Sin

    wears many masks: mistake, crooked-ness, and wantonness. This last one iscalled peshah, and what we addresshere: the unruly tendency.

    Why So Many Types?

    Why must a person ridicule others?This stems from ones own insecurities.If man realizes that his lifes goal is to

    study God and His creations, and notcompete, he would not need to reduce

    others to elevate himself. His insecurityis generated from allowing his socialstatus to dominate all concerns. There-fore, the gossiper is an insecure person.The gossiper also unloads his or hernews on others due to this insecurity,and seeks out others who might side withthem.

    But we can violate gossip in four ways.Richiluss is when we contribute todefaming others, although we do notnecessarily utter negative words, like thecase of Doeg above. We are instigators.But our corruption is present. We are

    merely distributors of what we hear.

    Lashon Hara is when we actually talknegatively, originating the content andciting truths. And Motzei Sham Ra is

    when we lie.But what is the difference between

    Lashon Hara, and Bal Lashon Hara afrequent speaker of Lashon Hara?Maimonides tells us that the Bal LashonHara talks about the persons forefa-thers. That seems quite odd. What doesthis have to do with the slanderersattempt to destroy another person?

    The Bal Lashon Hara is clever. Hedoesnt mean to merely tarnish ones

    reputation; he wants to throw a knockoutblow. This is a different type of vicious-ness. The other party must be removed.

    And he accomplishes this by saying thathis very inception was evil: Look at

    who his parents were! With such a

    statement, he gives the listeners nochance to view him in a good light. Hecame from bad blood as they say. He isessentially no good. The Bal LashonHara most closely approximates the actof murder, as he seeks to utterly destroyanother human being.

    Viciousness

    We noted that viciousness is part of thesin. Talmud Archin 15b cites a metaphor:

    In the future, all beasts will approachthe snake and ask, The lion tramples andeats, the wolf tears and eatsof what

    benefit then is there to you snake, thatyou bite, and do not eat? The snake willreply, And of what benefit is there toman who speaks evil?

    A Rabbi once lectured on thismetaphor. He taught, just as the snakehas no motive in biting and does so by

    nature alone, so too, man is vicious bynature. There is no need for any ulteriormotive. Just as the snake bites merely toafflict, mans nature is to be vicious. Inthat Talmudic portion, God metaphori-cally says:

    What more can I do to prevent LashonHara? I created the limbs upright, butthe tongue lying down [to keep itdormant]. All limbs are external, but the

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    tongue is inside (to restrain it). I createdaround the tongue, a wall of bones [teeth]and a wall of flesh [lips] [to halt LashonHara].

    The Rabbi said this teaches that speak-ing Lashon Hara is practically unavoid-able, as if God did all He can do, with no

    success. Of course, since we receive greatpunishment for Lashon Hara, we are toblame. But this portion has one message:Lashon Hara caters to strong impulses.Therefore, we must be stronger, and moreknowledgeable so as to fight it.

    Most Severe

    Why does Maimonides say LashonHara equates to sexual immorality,idolatry and murder: three sins causingpunishment here, and the loss of OlamHaba? What is murder? It is the attempt

    to eliminate another from ones reality.Lashon Hara does the same; one reducesanother with speech. This explains the

    phrase "character assassination." Sexualimmorality is mans unbridled instinctualexpression. Lashon Hara too is man fullyexpressing his instinctual drives of aggres-sion, ego. But how is Lashon Hara akin toidolatry?

    What is idolatry? It is not the mere

    prostration to statues. Idolatry is anattempt to twist reality and conform it tohow we wish it to be. Although an idolaternever sees a stone god perform acts, hebelieves that it can. He distorts reality. Hedenies what natural law indicates, andfollows imagination. When one speaksLashon Hara, he uses speech to deludehimself. In reality, John is a great guy, andhelps others genuinely. But in my worldhe has surpassed me, I feel threatenedsince I am competitive. I need to correct

    this. I assume my speech has a reductivequality on Johns value. So I say things

    that are true about him, but only to thosewho will resent him too. His downfall issoon at hand. I now feel the world is good

    again. But this assessment of John, thathis place in the universe is now reduced, isall in my imaginationjust like idolatry.

    Summary

    We live in a fantasy world; we desire to

    hurt others who do not deserve it, and weoutlet base emotions without thinking.We reject Gods plan to abandon pettyissues and strive towards perfection.Lashon Hara also seems to go unnoticed;as we speak so much, and we deny we didanything wrong with those few wordsabout John. Because of its subtleties, wemust be all the more sensitive to ourmotives when we talk. We can correct ourtongues, but only after we correct ourhearts. And the competitive emotion thatdrives us to seek fame and honor is at theroot of this sin. The Torah teaches the

    proper attitude: And the man Moses wasexceedingly humble from all men that areon face of the Earth (Num. 12:3).

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    Tzaraas is an affliction of the skin generallycharacterized by the appearance of a bright whitediscoloration. Contraction of tzaraas renders aperson tamey - impure. The degree of impuritythat is ascribed to the person depends upon theseverity of the disease. In its most intensemanifestation, the afflicted person is banishedfrom the community until the conditionsubsides.

    The Torah explains that tzaraas is not

    contracted as a result of a virus or bacterialinfection. It is a consequence of moral andethical failures. Primary among those failings is

    lashon hara speaking negatively of others even if the negative characterization is accurateand truthful.

    Maimonides explains that lashon hara hasthree victims: the person who is vilified, thespeaker who disparages another, and the one

    who listens to the defamation. He adds that thelistener is harmed the most. Now, it seems thatMaimonides is speaking on a practical level. Ona practical level, all of the parties in the dynamicare damaged by lashon hara.

    It is obvious that the vilified party has beenharmed. His reputation has been attacked anddamaged. But it is worthwhile to consider thedamage caused to the other two parties in thedynamic the speaker and listener. We willcome back to this issue in a few minutes.

    A recent national survey of parents reveals thatthey have mixed feelings regarding theirchildrens Jewish day schools and high schools.For all schools participating in the survey, on

    average, less than 50% of the parents reported

    that they are enthusiastic supporters, likelyrecommend their school to others. The suralso suggests that, on average, 15% can expected to discourage others from enrolltheir children.

    An even more interesting aspect of the suris what it suggests about the core cause of tlack of enthusiasm or dissatisfaction. The surresults suggest that the core, dominant deternant of parent enthusiasm or dissatisfactiontheir appraisal of the schools effectivenesspromoting Jewish development. This sugge

    that the most important reason more than 5of parents are less than enthusiastic about thchildren's school is that they feel it has nprovided impactful and inspiring Jewish edution.

    I think that our parents have good reason toalarmed and concerned. They are observ

    behaviors and attitudes that give them reasonwonder whether their children will remcommitted to observance and Jewish life. Thare looking to their schools to respond to thconcerns and to rescue their children.

    I do not know all of the specific behaviors tconcern parents but I can provide one exampIn recent years much attention has been giventhe phenomenon of Half-Shabbos. HaShabbos is a term used to describe the practiceobserving Shabbos with the exception of usone's mobile phone. Apparently, nationallygrowing number of otherwise observant Jewteens and pre-teens will not or cannot re

    texting or calling friends on Shabbos.I agree with the parents with whom I ha

    discussed this issue. Our schools must respoto this development. We must better commu

    cate to our students the importance of Shabbobservance. We must more effectively explainthem why Half-Shabbos is not good enouOur job as educators is to be aware of emergtrends among our students. We must undstand their attitudes and be adaptive in manner in which we teach, communicate, a

    work with our young people.We will continue to improve and increase

    effectiveness of our schools. But I stronsuspect that our schools are fundamentill-suited to succeed in the task that they h

    been assigned. We expect our schoolsJewishly educate and inspire our young peopl

    think that for our schools to succeed they nhelp. We need broader participation in process of education and inspiration.

    Let me explain. One article discussHalf-Shabbos included a wealth of material frinterviews with young people. As you miexpect, some justified their behavior by miniming it or disputing the Shabbos violatiHowever, others did not deny that their usetheir digital devices violated Shabbos. Th

    young people merely observed that no one

    Rabbi Bernie Fox

    (continued on next p

    THE LIMITS

    OF JEWISHEDUCATION

    Lashon Hara

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    completely observant. Their parents and many otheradults around them compromise in their observance.These young people asserted that they only differ from

    the adults in where they compromise.One of the parents with whom I work expressed the

    issue to me as follows: our children are watching us.They are observing you and me all of us. We are allrole models. Their observations of the adults aroundthem inform their conclusions regarding observanceand contribute to shaping their attitudes towards Torah.

    Okay, so we can all pitch-in to inspire our children bymodeling the values and behaviors that we hope tonurture. What else can do?

    Surrounding the First World War, America experi-enced a tremendous wave of Jewish immigration fromEurope. These immigrant families had a troublingexperience. Many succeeded in transplanting their

    Torah observance to this new continent and society.However, far fewer succeeded in transmitting theircommitment to their children.

    Rav Moshe Feinstein Zt"l suggested that this lostgeneration of Jews was not compromised because oftheir parents' lack of commitment. These parents madeheroic sacrifices to be observant. This generation was

    lost because of the "k'vetch". The mother put koshermeat on the table but kvetched over the expense. Thefather did not work on Shabbos but he bemoaned thelost income. The message communicated to thechildren was not that observance is worthy of thegreatest sacrifice. It was that there is no joy in obser-

    vance. It is only an experience of sacrifice.

    If we are to inspire our children, it is not enough toprovide them with a Jewish education. We mustcommunicate to them our joy and our love for thateducation and for living Jewishly. If our conversation isonly about the tuition crisis, the trials and tribulations ofcar pool, the imposition of attending the schoolsfundraisers, and the kvetch, then what message are wecommunicating? If we aspire for our children to find joyin their Jewish experience in and out of school, then wemust express our joy.

    Finally, I will share with you an insight from a parentthat is relevant to both inspiring our children and to theteaching from Maimonides with which I opened. It is asad story. I have heard it too many times. But it

    deserves to be told.A mother came to me and bemoaned her children's

    abandonment of observance. She and her husband hadmade tremendous sacrifices to provide their children

    with the finest Jewish education available. The childrenattended day school from kindergarten through middleschool and then continued on to yeshiva high school.

    After high school, all of her children studied in Israel.But none remained observant.

    But then she made the most remarkable and difficult

    comment. She said to me that to a great extent she andher husband are responsible for her children's abandon-ment of observance. She explained, that she and herhusband constantly bemoaned the shortcomings oftheir synagogue. They were consistently critical of theirOrthodox community and its members. They focusedon all of the shortcoming that they observed. She saidher children are good listeners. They have no desire to

    be part of the deeply flawed faith-community describedby their parents.

    So who is harmed by lashon hara? The victim canrecover. The speaker reinforces his own negativity buthis malignant perspective was in place even before he

    expressed it in words. But the listener does not evenappreciate that he has been poisoned. His outlook onthe world and on his community has been tainted andcorrupted though the noxious affect of these reports.

    He is an innocent whose outlook is poisoned by thespeaker.

    The bottom line is that we shape the perspectives ofothers through the messages that we communicate tothem. As the mother, whose story I just describedobserved, this is especially true regarding the messagesthat we transmit to our children.

    If our children are to be inspired by the education weprovide, then they must believe in their schools' capacityto inspire. Whether they have this faith in their schools

    will be determined by their experiences but also by themessages that we communicate as parents and commu-nity members.

    If school, parents, and community cannot see oneanother as partners in the enterprise of Torah educa-tion, then it will only be left for us to apportion the

    blame for a lost generation. If we can engage oneanother as partners, then I am confident we will inspireour young people to be committed, enthusiastic and G-dfearing young men and women.

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    This weeks Parsha, Emor, continues to

    elucidate the major theme of the Book of

    Vayikra, the sacrificial service and the

    special laws that pertain to the Kohanim who,

    alone, were authorized to perform it. Thus

    the sedra details the many flaws and

    blemishes which would invalidate sacrifices.

    The Kohain, also, must be in the most

    appropriate state, physically and emotionally.

    He is not permitted to come in contact with a

    corpse as the encounter with death could

    make him sad or depressed. An exception is

    made for his seven closest relatives as the

    respect for ones family overrides the

    prohibition. However, the Kohen Gadol (chief

    Kohen) was not permitted to become impure

    even for his closest kin. The only exception is

    that of a meit mitzvah ie. an abandonedcorpse who had no relatives that were under

    the obligation to bury him. The magnitude of

    the chesed involved in providing for the burial

    of such a person is so great that it overrides

    the severe injunction against the Kohen

    Gadols relinquishing his state of ritual purity.

    Two important lessons can be learned from

    this. First of all, the very high standard of

    respect we must display toward others is not

    relaxed when they are deceased. Respect

    for the dead which focuses around a speedy

    and dignified burial is a major tenet of

    Judaism. It is not that the corpse has anyintrinsic importance. The essence of man

    lies in the Divine soul which signifies that

    man was created in His Image. Disrespect

    for the body expresses disdain for the soul

    which was connected to it and indirectly to

    the Creator who fashioned it. We also see

    the supreme importance that the Torah

    assigns to chesed. No ritual requirement

    ranks in importance with the service

    performed by the Kohen Gadol. Yet, he must

    incur ritual impurity to personally attend to

    the internment of a complete stranger who isof such social insignificance that he has

    neither relative nor friend to tend to him. The

    compassion one displays toward the most

    lowly and downtrodden people, with whom

    he has no personal relationship is the most

    precious because it is not prompted by any

    selfish emotion. It is, rather, the purest

    expression of respect for the Divine image

    which inheres in man.

    A major theme of parshat Emor is

    compassion. The Torah is categorically

    opposed to sadism and cruelty. It recognizes

    that there is a proper place for the aggressiveinstinct such as fighting wars against evil

    tyrannies. However, we must seek to be in

    control of our hostility and to cultivate

    sympathy and kindness for all G-ds

    creatures, including animals. Thus, the

    parsha states that an animal cannot be

    brought for a sacrifice until it is at least eight

    days old. Then it says, you shall not

    slaughter an ox or lamb together with its

    offspring on the same day. At first glance

    the insertion of this prohibition in this context

    is puzzling. This law applies to any slaughter

    of animals and not just to those designated

    for sacrifices. Why did the Torah see fit to

    incorporate it in the section dealing with the

    Temple Service?

    The Rambam explains that the reason we

    are prohibited from killing the mother and its

    offspring on the same day is that one should

    be restrained and prevented from coming to

    a point where we kill the child in the

    presence of its mother. That is because the

    pain of the animal under such circumstances

    is very great. There is no difference between

    the pain of man and the pain of other living

    beings, since the love and tenderness of themother for her young ones is not produced by

    reasoning, but by imagination, and this

    faculty exists not only in man but in most

    living beings. This idea is communicated to

    us in the section dealing with sacrifices. We

    should not think that engagement in Divine

    service gives us a license to be insensitive or

    trample on the rights of others. The most

    important characteristic of the Korban is the

    purity of heart of the one who brings it. In

    making an offering to Hashem we implore

    Him to be merciful and compassionately

    forgive our sins. To be worthy of Divinemercy we must strive to develop that quality

    and display it to all His creatures. That is why

    we are commanded to refrain from afflicting

    the mother animal precisely in the parsha

    dealing with sacrifice. We thus affirm that it

    is our duty to emulate Hashem whose

    mercies are upon all of His creations.

    Shabbat Shalom

    His Mercies are Upon

    All His Creations

    Rabbi Reuven Mann

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    LETTERS

    Reader: I enjoy your website; it is inspiring

    to read rational essays which attempt to

    arrive at truth, rather than the more common

    type these days which dont seem to go

    anywhere in particular. My question is about

    emotions: clearly, God gave them to us for a

    purpose. However, if we are to approach His

    wisdom entirely from a rational standpoint,

    what are the proper role of emotions and

    sentimentality in our lives and service of the

    Divine Will?

    Rabbi: I will answer your question, and willalso address another related question asked

    by Tamara. She asked why God made people

    so different from each other: We all have

    the same emotions, but the degree of

    variation in each person, along with his

    personality and preferences, makes us so

    different. Why did God want this to be?

    The Talmud states that they once tied up

    the instincts (Yetzer Hara) and this resulted in

    chickens not laying eggs, and man not

    moving to accomplish anything. Emotions

    are needed to drive man and beast; bothrequire an energy source. This emotional

    energy drives man, motivates him, and is

    responsible in all its forms for mans accom-

    plishments. This energy fuels our many

    emotions. A Rabbi once explained Ecclesi-

    astes 1:7 (the metaphor of a river flowing) as

    referring to this energy source in each

    person. This energy may be let loose, when

    we do not restrain ourselves from any

    desire, or they may be directed by our

    intellect as to when and where we express,

    indulge or restrain from emotional involve-

    ment or gratification. King Solomon opened

    his work Ecclesiastes with a description of

    how man operates psychologically, so we

    may appreciate his subsequent words

    describing man, his downfalls, and his

    correct lifestyle. I believe the Torah does the

    same, using water again in Genesis.

    A wise Rabbi once lectured on Ibn Ezra onEcclesiastes 7:3. There, Ibn Ezra describes

    the three major components of man, and

    how one may arrive at the life of wisdom. He

    commences by describing mans three

    major components of his mind; 1) the Nefesh

    (base drives), 2) the Neshama (intelligence)

    and 3) the Ruach (ego). Ibn Ezra then

    explains how man can become perfected

    and negotiate his varied natures towards

    success:

    It is known that when the base

    drives (nefesh) of man are strength-ened, the intelligence (neshama)

    becomes weak and has no power to

    stand before it, for the body and all

    instincts strengthen that nefesh.

    Therefore, one who indulges in eating

    and drinking will never become wise.

    [But] when one joins the intelligence

    with ones ego (ruach) one may

    succeed over the nefesh, the base

    drives. Then, the eyes of the

    intelligence are opened a small

    degree and one is enabled to

    understand physical science.

    However he cannot [yet] understand

    the higher areas of wisdom due to the

    power of the ego which strives for

    power; and it is that ego which creates

    anger. And after the intelligence reigns

    over the base drives via the assistance

    of the ego, the intelligence requires to

    be immersed in wisdom, that it will

    strengthen it, until the intelligence

    succeeds over the ego, and the ego is

    now subjugated to the intelligence.

    This amazing Ibn Ezra means as follows: At

    first, man enters the world as a child,

    completely controlled by his instincts, as hismind is not yet available. As he grows, his

    mind begins to stir, but the instincts have a

    head start on the intelligence, and it is

    impossible to conquer them alone. Man

    requires teaming his intelligence with

    another new, developing part of his mind: his

    ego. Ones ego is a formidable adversary to

    the base instincts, as one will seek ego

    satisfaction over instinctual satisfaction at a

    stage in his development. However, this ego

    and drive for power and fame limits a person,

    and causes him to become angry when he

    does not get his way. This means if hisenergies are not solely devoted to study for

    study itself, some of his energy still flows

    towards the ego. What he must do is to fully

    immerse himself in wisdom, and only then he

    will begin to attach himself to ideas, with no

    ulterior motive. This attachment possesses a

    greater hold on him, as it is his mind that is

    now engaged. The mind has the greatest

    magnetism of all mans components, as God

    designed man to be attached to wisdom over

    all else.

    God gave man his greatest strengths in the

    realm of his intellect. But to arrive at thislevel of attachment to truth and wisdom, Ibn

    Ezra teaches that man must encounter these

    various stages, and address each stage as

    outlined: man must overcome the first set of

    drives he encounters, i.e., the base instincts,

    by teaming his ego with intelligence. Then

    man must immerse himself in wisdom, and

    this will loosen the hold, which his ego has

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    (continued on next page)

    LASHON HARA

    Ibn Ezra on theHuman Condition

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    LETTERS

    on him. Man can arrive at a state where his

    mind is attached to the good, more power-

    fully than how strong his ego and base drives

    were attached to their objects of passion.

    Once at this final level, and even before,

    Gods plan is that man harness his instincts

    and use them in service of the Torah lifestyle.

    Thus, King Solomon wrote in chapter three

    of Ecclesiastes that there is a time to kill

    and a time to heala time a time to cry and

    a time to laugha time to love and a time tohate. Meaning, no feeling or attitude is

    correct at all times, but must be guided.

    What guides it? Our intellect. War may be

    correct to remove killers, but killing innocent

    people is not correct. Love is good for

    creating societies, but wrong when used to

    pity a murderer. Harnessing emotions for

    Torahs goals can be expressed positively as

    in loving your neighbor, lending money to the

    poor, and negatively by speaking loshon

    hora evil speech. In some cases we must

    force ourselves to maintain more positive

    feelings, as in helping a friend with a heavyburden. At the same time, we must

    subjugate our natural feeling of resistance

    to helping our enemy, and bear the yoke for

    sake of the Torahs loftier goals, until we

    appreciate why we should help an enemy in

    certain cases.

    Emotions, or the Yetzer Hara, are

    comprised of numerous feelings that may be

    categorized under larger headings. For

    example, mans sense of self his ego

    generates many sub-emotions: ego may

    be the cause for his hating someone who

    wronged HIM, as in, Who does he think he

    is to do that to ME?! In this case, ones self

    image caused him to get riled up, as stated

    by Ibn Ezra above. Had he cared less about

    another persons words, or little about his

    popularity, he would have let those intended

    insults pass with no affect on his demeanor.

    But the fool who hears ridicule will seek toprotect his fragile ego, subsequently taking

    revenge on the one who slandered him. He

    also feels rejection, (the emotion that started

    this process) another expression of his need

    to maintain his desired self-image. In all

    these cases, the primary faculty of ego is

    responsible for all the trouble this poor

    individual suffered. So from a single faculty

    ego many emotions are heightened and

    acted upon, or controlled. And although

    praiseworthy, mere control is only one level.

    There is yet a higher level of existence we

    may achieve, where we are removed fromthe stress of controlling our emotions. That

    level is when the emotion is minimized as far

    as possible. How does this work?

    What is the Torahs perspective on how to

    handle insult? The Torah lifestyle is where

    God always retains the focus. Man is most

    happy when his essence is satisfied: when

    his mind is engaged in perceiving new ideas

    and he arrives at a new truth about how the

    world operates, seeing new levels of

    wisdom in creation. Thereby, the self

    decreases in focus, and ultimately becomes

    of little concern: The righteous eat to satisfy

    their souls, Bread with salt he eats, I am

    but dust and ashes. These Torah

    sentiments display the true Torah perspec-

    tive, where the self is maintained properly,

    but not excessively, and where ones

    self-image is accurate: man is but ashes

    compared to God and creation. He does notlive as a monk, he is not morbid, but he

    caters to his needs and desires guided by

    the Torahs prescription. He strikes the

    balance where all of his emotions are in

    check, a middle ground as prescribed by

    Maimonides. This middle ground is where

    man is equidistant from both poles of a given

    emotional spectrum: he is not greedy, and

    not overly charitable; he is not callous, but

    not overly empathetic. Being equidistant

    was explained by a wise rabbi: the means by

    which the intelligence is the least pulled by

    the emotional poles. Imagine two magnets ateither side of a table. In order to maintain the

    least pull they may exert over a steel ball

    bearing, we place that ball bearing exactly in

    the tables center. Neither magnet has any

    more of a pull than the other, and the ball

    bearing remains at the center; never

    overpowered by either magnet. The

    emotions work in an identical fashion.

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    LETTERS

    When man attains a correct perspective

    of himself, and his emotions fall in line after

    having studied reality and Torah, he does not

    need to control himself from lashing out

    when ridiculed, as the ridicule has no affect

    at all on his demeanor. He realizes too, that

    words do not alter reality! If he possesses

    good values before the insult, the insult

    cannot change that truth. God and His world

    humble him, enough, not to be bothered by

    the insult. Nor did the insult change reality.

    God created our psyches, and knows best

    how we should manage them so as to

    achieve happiness and fulfillment. In this

    example, man followed Gods Torah, and

    found that what is prescribed by God, works

    perfectly, that he lives a far better,

    undisturbed life. Less matters stress him,

    and thereby, he is even afforded greater

    energy to pursue Gods wisdom.Now what about Tamaras question? Why

    is each person designed so differently from

    the next? Not only do we all possess these

    various feelings, but also, every person

    varies in his degree of emotional strength

    (passion) and personality traits. One man

    may be passionate about money, while

    another is passionate about ideas and

    wisdom, caring little for money. The

    difference in these two people is explained

    by the latter having developed his mind, and

    discovering a new truth: wisdom offers a

    real happiness, which far exceeds the joyimagined by the first man to result from

    wealth. Both individuals have a large

    quantity of energy (we all do) but they differ

    in what they value and therefore place

    their energies in different pursuits. I recall

    asking a wise Rabbi why there are so few

    Jews entering the Rabbinate today. Have

    people changed? I asked. He responded,

    No at all. But our society has placed higher

    value on wealth than on wisdom. The same

    numbers of great minds exist, but they

    gravitate towards lesser pursuits. He

    continued, The Ivan Boeskies of the worldcould have been great Rabbis, had they

    realized that a life of wisdom is far greater

    than a life of pursuing wealth. If all men and

    women would be shown the truth, they

    would all desire it equally. The difference in

    what people follow has less to do with Gods

    design, and more to do with mans

    ignorance.

    That explains the choices man makes

    about his occupations. But why did God

    make people so different than one another?

    Why are some people delicate, others are

    hard or stubborn; some people like working

    with their hands, while others lack any such

    ability? Why are some people leaders and

    some people followers?

    I recall an explanation, but not the source.

    Peoples differences enable the worlds

    continued function. Had all men and women

    become doctors, but not one person became

    a baker, shoemaker, farmer, Rabbi or a

    builder, we would perish physically and

    spiritually. God, in His wisdom, created each

    person with different inclinations and

    abilities. Some traits may even be learned,

    while others are innate. This enables all

    human needs to be addressed by those

    suited for the job. Our differences enabledthe continued existence of mankind.

    I hope this offers some glimpse into why

    we possess emotions, and why God made us

    all different.

    Now, having gained this knowledge, it will

    benefit us all if we start to examine

    ourselves, make note of our individual

    natures, see where we are failing, admit our

    errors, and use the Torah as a guide to return

    ourselves to a life of real happiness and

    fulfillment. God created our psyches, and

    knows best how we should manage them soas to achieve happiness and fulfillment. We

    all possess the ability to examine life, just as

    King Solomon did. He realized that a life of

    wisdom far exceeds any other material

    pursuit, or lifestyle. He was the wisest man

    next to Moses.

    Let us first study his work Ecclesiastes,

    understanding his teachings, and then be led

    by reason to alter our lifestyles to match

    what is true, what is our purpose, and what

    will offer real happiness.

    LETTERS:

    To respond or to submit yourletters, please write us at:

    [email protected]

    WWW.MESORA.ORG/JEWISHTIMES APR. 26, 2013 |

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    JESSIEFISCHBEIN

  • 7/29/2019 VOL. XII NO. 12 APRIL 26, 2013

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    WWW.MESORA.ORG/JEWISHTIMES APR. 26, 2013 |

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    BY JESSIE FISCHBEIN

    something: I frequently have been insulted or hurt

    or put down in some way. I feel inferior from this

    interaction. So what do I do? I call up a friend and

    get her to agree that the person who made me feel

    inferior is wrong, and *I* am superior.This is basically a framework that I invented in my

    own head. There are imaginary scales in my mind.

    If I feel bad, I have to balance the scales by getting

    a friend to agree with me that the person who made

    me feel inferior is actually inferior, and I am

    superior. In real life I have achieved nothing. I have

    not addressed the conflict with the person. I have

    not put things in perspective (maybe the other

    person was having a bad day; sometimes I behave

    like that, etc.). All I have done is spoken negatively

    about someone to someone else, they have agreed

    with me---and poof! I feel better. I have

    constructed an artificial reality inside my own mindabout how people are evaluated. But it's not

    enough to leave it in my own mind; I must get social

    approval of this construct by getting a listener to

    agree with me.

    This has an uncanny resemblance to Av

    Zara. A major aspect of idolatry is that it

    manmade construct. Judaism's goal is for hum

    to relate to the world as it actually IS, how Has

    designed it.** Idolatry, on the other hand,

    human invention that seeks to control destin

    you don't want to get sick, or you want to m

    money, you have to sacrifice to a deity. But

    invented the deity? Humans.Lashon Hara does not accept the divine re

    that a person is superior or inferior based on va

    and deeds. Lashon Hara is based on the hu

    contrivance that someone who insults ME

    appointed me as inferior and the only way I ca

    that is if other human beings appoint ME

    superior and HIM as inferior. Idolatry is an atte

    to bend reality to your wish. So is Lashon Hara

    As a side note, Lashon Hara is a particu

    insidious way of dealing with interpersonal con

    Instead of dealing directly with the person

    have conflict with, you feel bad about the inte

    tion and then you call up a friend and comabout it. Lashon Hara prevents us from figuring

    how to have healthier dynamics with people

    elicit feelings of inferiority in us.

    *Bereshis 2:7 says "He blew into his nose a l

    soul and Man became a live spirit (nefesh cha

    Onkelos translates the nefesh chaya as "a spea

    spirit," meaning that Man was given the abili

    speak. Rashi comments that animal and Man

    both called nefesh chaya, but Man additionally

    knowledge and speech.

    **"Tamim tehiye im Hashem Elokecha (Dev18:13), you should be complete with Hashem

    God," i.e. we should be okay with how Has

    designed the world.

    3 things a person is pun-ished for in this world and

    has no world to come: idola-try, sexual immorality, and

    murder. And lashon haracorresponds to all of them.

    Why is lashon hara (evil speech) compared tothe three most severe sins? Humans are unique

    creatures. Our speech is an expression of our

    capacity for abstract thought, but it is also a tool for

    our instincts.*There is an interesting psychological phenom-

    enon called "sublimation." About.com says it is a

    defense mechanism where we channel unwanted

    feelings into more socially acceptable forms.

    We have aggressive impulses and sexual

    impulses. We don't act them out overtly. But they

    are expressed in our speech. Much of our lashon

    hara is a way of enjoying sexual scandals and a

    way of hurting other people. Of course, we would

    not actually engage in these violations. We are not

    so base. However, this statement of Chazal is

    urging us to see that the underlying impulses that

    drive lashon hara are often sublimations of theseaggressive and sexual urges.

    Idolatry is a particularly interesting case. By

    observing when I speak lashon hara, I noticed

  • 7/29/2019 VOL. XII NO. 12 APRIL 26, 2013

    20/20

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