Download - Volume 6, Issue 7
Inside a Prison Today marks the end of my first week behind prison walls. This seems surreal, and very awkward, to me because I never thought that I would end up in prison; that was not how my life was supposed to pan out. Each day is a new experience with a plethora of information to be gathered and pieced together to form the knowledge that I know is necessary for my transformation. As yet, I am still unaware of many of my surroundings and unsure of some of the things I must do here to be successful and survive. All in all, I enjoy it here. Most of the officers I have come into contact with seem to be genuine people who only want to do their job efficiently and affect some sort of change within the prisoners, but there are some who harbor bitterness and contempt for the inmates as if those inmates have personally wronged them. I try to avoid these people, they will only drag me down into the spiraling whirlpool of lies, anger,
and pettiness. I know I do not want to be here forever, or, for that matter, longer than is necessary for me to grow within myself and push forward to whatever end is in store for me down the line. So far, I have learned that all inmates, regardless of race, creed, religion, etc., are treated as a lump sum in this game. No one is any different from the person before or behind them. I liken this place to a large slaughter house, with each inmate being herded toward that last gate; a gate that represents both their freedom and their death on the other side. It's an odd sensation to think that many of them will sooner or later be back in society, running amok or conforming to the social norms of the communities in which they will be ushered back into. And that I am a part of this process now.
Continued on page 3
By: Albert Einstein
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Volume 6, Issue 7 Winston Churchill Day
April 9, 2009
Ang
elo State’s Fine
st Pap
er Since Fall 200
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Enem
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friend
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Picture of the week
Ladies and Gentlemen: it is almost upon us. The official Ramdiculous holiday will be celebrated for the third year in a row on Friday April 24. This special day serves two main purposes.
First: It is a reminder to value what we have, and I think that the best way to truly realize how much we have and to appreciate it, we must know what it is like to be without. This is simply a trivial (though I believe meaningful) way of making that happen. By spending an entire day without your shoes, you will much better understand what it is like for those who are not ever able to wear shoes, and thus, hopefully have a greater appreciation for having shoes. We also hope that you will take that understanding and expand that to all the many things we take for granted which, in fact, are not common among billions of people in the world. There are so many things which we think we could not live without, but in actuality these things are luxuries. People all over the world live without them. By taking just one day, and doing without what we might think of as a necessity, I hope we will all attain a greater understanding of the difference between necessity and luxury. I don’t have anything against shoes, in fact, I’m rather fond of shoes, but for just one day, by going without, we can all be reminded of how grateful we should be to be able to wear shoes every other day of the year, and how many other aspects of are lives truly are blessings which we should cherish and make the most of rather than taking for granted.
Second: I think it’s fun to walk around campus barefoot for a day. Usually, people will look at you kind of funny which is always entertaining, or if they know about the Ramdiculous holiday, then they will associate you with the awesomeness that is Ramdiculous, and that’s always a good thing.
So join us in two weeks on Friday, April 24, 2009 and just don’t wear your shoes. It won’t kill you; hopefully, you’ll learn something; and if nothing else, it’ll be fun, and you’ll maybe learn to loosen up a little.
We would also like to add that having a job or somewhere to be is no excuse from participating the rest of the day, so don’t cop‐out. (Also, it might be help‐ful to keep flip‐flops with you when you go into the food service centers. I don’t think they appreciate barefootedness in those places)
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“If you sit still and give me 7 minutes I will beat the crap out of you.”
Quote of the Week
This man might be on the cusp of pure genius. Even though he teaches journalism courses he is well versed in astronomy and is currently reading 8 Little Piggies, the sixth volume of a collection of Essays by a Har‐vard paleontologist. Deserving of a free faculty parking spot, he listens to NPR in his free time and may look up to Dr. Cox on the hit television show Scrubs. He recently celebrated another year of turning older… what a guy!
Dr. Jeff Boone
The Day Without Shoes Take 3
The Eggheads of Today
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To say that I am proud of where I am currently would be a lie; I am not. And although I
understand the reason I am here, I do not fault myself for the choice I made. Many people say that I should have been smarter about this ordeal, not allowed myself to be caught up in the turbulence of uncertainty, but as for me, my choice is ultimately going to provide me the best thing to happen in my life to this point. Once I am finished here, I can go anywhere I wish, doing whatever I please, and that is the overall goal of anyone's life; self‐realization. I have much more to learn about this place before that happens though, and I know that in time I shall possess the knowledge, skills, and aptitudes to make it on the outside, or even the inside, anywhere in the country. So, until next time, adieu.
Continued from cover
Prison
March 8 2008, Florida
Just because you see it online does not mean it's a good idea. Cameron, 18, was joyriding in a shop‐ping cart as he held onto a moving SUV. An eye‐witness said, "It's irresponsi‐
ble behavior, but what do you expect from kids?" The car and the cart went over a speed bump and the cart overturned, ejecting its occupant, who was not wearing the little seat belt. Cameron was pronounced dead at the scene.
Darwin Awards
We are your voice, the voice of the Students of Angelo State. Be heard, we would like to know what you love
about ASU, what you hate about ASU and what you think needs to be changed around here. We are here for YOU!
If you have a comment, complaint, concern, or question, don’t hesitate to contact us. Via email [email protected], via phone (325) 942‐2063, via our suggestion box in the
UC, in our office UC 133 or even come attend our meetings at 6 PM on Monday nights.
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Ramdiculous Page will not advertise for any off‐campus event except in certain circumstances,* or anything of questionable nature. This includes but is not limited to: • alcohol • drugs • tobacco • illegal activities *Exceptions to this rule will be determined the staff of Ramdiculous Page
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dicu
lous
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When a student gets up in the middle of class, walks up next to the professor, starts dancing, pulls up his shirt, and
on his stomach it reads “soy bomb.”
Awkwardness... now an interactive
media experience
ramdiculous.com/store
WTF!?!?!?!?! By: Krazy Kendra
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears……yeah so I felt like quoting Shakespeare today. Just that little bit because I thought it was cool. Well unfortunately today I don’t have a picture to put in this article, I apolo‐gize. As far as WTF moments go, I don’t know if I have something to comment on. I walk through UC every single day and I see the same people playing Halo on the XBOX 360. Halo seems like a fun game to play but lest we forget Halo Wars came out recently. I haven’t played it but it seems interesting to play. If they are going to put games and such in the UC, I think they should a Wii in there. That would awesome, plus people will get
their exercise without even noticing. I would like to see the selection of games increase in size because it sucks to see the same old games being played. Also if games system were
offered at every television set in the UC. The UC can be a really fun place with plenty of entertaining if they upgrade in there a little bit more. They u p g r a d e everything else
on campus like those weirdo blue shade covering and new furniture all over the place. They could at least get a Playstation 3 and Wii up in that place. There is high risk that they both may get stolen by some kid who can’t afford it or someone who just wants it.
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Imagine This By: Sandy Arbor
You see this dead space?
WRITE FOR THE RAMDICULOUS!!!
Contact us at:
PERKS FREE FOOD sometimes
Fun underground activities Sweet ass name badges Get to see the paper before it’s printed
Participate in PODCASTS Resume BUILDER Ride in limos
Go sledding in spring Play golf
‐A shark being seen at a bar wearing dark sunglasses and singing "Twist & Shout" while actually doing that. (Sharks can actually twist quite well!) ‐A monkey walks up to you and starts doing the funky chicken dance for no apparent reason (That'd be
hilarious. I might even join in!) ‐A raccoon walking up to you and saying random things such as "Excuse me. Where's the‐? Ooooh, shiny fingernail polish!" (I'd laugh if that actually happened. Wouldn't everybody???)
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Pragmatic Patsy Dear Pragmatic Patsy, I am still in love with my ex‐girlfriend. She broke up with me because I destroyed her cat. The cat was on the brink of death, and using up resources others could have been using—such as food, air, water, space—also veterinary care and medication. Even though she broke up with me, I know she is still in love with me. I think my manliness shocked her. We met at work, and she is now dating another co‐worker and they recently got engaged. She is only dating him because he isn’t a risk, and she secretly wants the riskiness and testosterone I could offer. I can hardly stand seeing her every day, in her cute twinsets and headbands… I’ll never get over her. She is blonde and short and cute as a button. I want to win her back. I have thought of a few competitions to prove to her that I am better than the man she is with. I wanted to get a female opinion on the best tactic to use. Chess match. Jousting. Traditional duel. Semi‐traditional duel—six‐shooter sling fest (e.g. O.K. Corral). Battle of wits (a la “The Princess Bride”). Fact: as a volunteer sheriff’s deputy, I’m sure I could get the upper hand. I also play a lot of online chess and Call of Duty. I’m a proficient weapon handler and craftsman. I whittle, I grow beets—I can even quilt. I know everything about Battlestar Galactica. I am far more skilled than my foe. I will win. Cordially, Dedicated Dwight Dear D.D., Well it sounds like you have the situation under control. Quite the planner. The first issue I have is she broke up with you—yet you
are convinced she is still in love with you. This may be the case—I will have to take you at your word. But don’t take it for granted that she loves you just because you love her. Dwight, Dwight, Dwight. An office romance? And by the way you describe her, she is the office snob (or a ten‐year‐old Land’s End model). Dwight, as a woman, I can assure you that watching men fight over us is exactly the thing we want to see, and we determine who we would rather share our lives with based on who fights the best. We want to know you can protect and defend us—even at the risk of our own pets. Your idea of a challenge against her fiancée to win her back is pure genius. I recommend either chess or a battle of wits as that will display to her your intelligence and quick‐thinking skills, which are always important to females. However, displaying your physical prowess will also be insanely attractive to any woman. You really can’t lose. Unless you do lose. Then, not only have you already lost her, you lose her again, along with any dignity you had. Once she sees your dedication and love for her manifested in violence and competition, she will probably run back into your arms. Tenderly, Pragmatic Patsy
P.S. One of women’s biggest fears is bears. If you know how to defend yourself against a bear, and know the dangers of all the species, you definitely have the upper hand. Do some research!
Top Ten
10. Blue Bell Creameries 9. Billionaire Boys Club‐Ice Cream 8. History of Ice Cream 7. Baskin Robbins 6. Cold Stone Creamery 5. Ice cream near San Angelo, TX‐
31 Flavors Ice Cream Store, Dairy Queen, Marble Slab Creamery
4. Image results for ice cream 3. Icecream.com 2. Ice Cream‐Wikipedia 1. Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Ice
Cream
Search results from “ice cream”
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The Incredible Question
Bourne or Bond?
Probably Jack Bauer
‐Evan Clayson
If they were to fight, I'd have to say Bourne. Bond
has the gadgets, but Bourne has the skills. ‐Aimee Ashcraft
Bond, James Bond
‐Will Hewell
Jason Bourne by far!
‐Jean Hurt
Who’s This?
Jump online to tell us who this
is… RAMDICULOUS.COM
Last Weeks Correct Submissions
Sarah Boyd
Michael Darling
Is that a question?! James Bond hands
down! ‐Derek Hopper
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R A M D I C U L O U S P A G E P O L I C Y Published every Friday and available to students on campus. This newspaper does not express the opinions of any writer, editor, or anyone affiliated with Angelo State University or the Texas Tech University System or this newspaper. We welcome all letters. Please include your name, position, and an email address. All submissions are considered property of the Ramdiculous Page and will not be returned. Submit your letters via our email, [email protected] or website www.ramdiculous.com. Opinions in any letter or writing are not necessarily those of the staff, nor should any opinion expressed in a public forum be construed as the opinion or policy of the administration or the Ramdiculous Page. By submitting anything to the Ramdiculous Page, you are giving the Ramdiculous Page permission to use your Facebook and/or Myspace profile in any way the Ramdiculous Page deems usable, unless expressed in writing. If you are an professor you need not worry, we will not use your profiles.
Sudoku
Ramdiculous Observances Friday
National Sibling Day (don’t hit them as hard)
Saturday Barbershop Quartet Day (oooooh, mmmmm, laaaa)
Sunday Easter
(Bunny + Eggs = Jesus)
Monday T. Jefferson Day
(he is the one on the $2 bill)
Tuesday National Be Kind to Lawyers Day (more like be kind to satan day)
Wednesday
McDonald’s Day
Thursday High Five Day
(Which five are high?)
OBSERVE AND REPORT 12:00pm 2:30pm 5:00pm
7:30pm 10:15pm
I LOVE YOU, MAN 10:50am 1:50pm 4:50pm
7:55pm 10:55pm
ADVENTURELAND 10:40am 1:40pm 4:40pm
7:40pm 10:40pm
KNOWING
11:40am 2:40pm 5:40pm 7:10pm 8:40pm 10:10pm
11:40pm
FAST AND FURIOUS 11:15am 12:40pm
2:05pm 3:30pm 4:55pm 6:20pm 7:45pm 9:10pm
10:35pm
Movie Times
Movie Review
Hello Angelo State University, how are we this Thursday? Did he just say Thursday? I thought the Ramdiculous Page came out on Fridays? Oh my God I am so confused; my world is going to end as I know it. I must go jump off University Hall before they blow it up and end my life. Wait, my good dedicated movie review reader, you don’t need to hurry up and jump. Why is that Awesome Movie Reviewer Guy? Well, 1. University Hall is not going anywhere anytime soon and 2. This is a special Ramdiculous Page because we have no class tomorrow. Now on to the review of FAST & FURIOUS!!!!! Despite what many people were saying about this film, before it
even came out in theaters, the 4th installment of the Fast & the Furious franchise was mind blazingly awesome. The 4th film take place in between the second film, 2 Fast 2 Furious (the weakest
one of the 4 if you want to know my take), and the 3rd film, The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift. Fact: cars and lot of action take place but I want to bring your focus to the story. The story fits in seamlessly with the other three films that you forget that you are watching yet another movie
about racing bright, shiny cars but continuing the story of Dominic, Brian, Mia and Letty, as well as the rest. WATCH THIS MOVIE! It is the best of the year by far, though I do look forward to watching the origins of one of my favorite mutants. You won’t be disappointed.
Fast and Furious