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Writing for the Web:Clear and Concise
Presented by the NYS Forum IT Accessibility Committee
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Ground Rules
� Cell phones off or on vibrate; no texting or emailing
� Participate in workshops
� Misery is optional
� Respect your neighbors
� Clean up after yourself
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Objectives
� Apply formatting to make information clearer and easier to understand
� Recognize and correct problems with:
�Clarity
�Wordiness
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Agenda
� Usability research about how users read web pages
� Relate that research to classic principles of formatting, writing and readability
� Hands-on exercises
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To Go From This:
Courtesy of the NYS Tax Department
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To This:
Courtesy of the NYS Tax Department
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Quick Exercise
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Courses Business Science
Arts Accounting Chemistry
Performing Marketing Physics
Music Finance Biology Dance
Economics Fine Photography
Sculpting
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Count backwards from 105, by 3’s10510299…..
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Courses
ArtsBusiness• Accounting• Marketing• Finance• Economics
• Performing• Music• Dance
Science• Chemistry• Physics• Biology
• Fine• Photography• Sculpting
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Content Overload
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Grouped Content
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Why Clear, Concise Pages Matter
� Readers: �Are in a hurry
�May be juggling a lot of information
�Don’t want a lot of prose
�Have varied reading skills
�May not be native English speakers
�May have reading disabilities
�May use search engines to find information
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Results of Vague, Wordy Pages
� People misunderstand your content
� People give up trying to read it
� Your pages are hard to find in searches
� Increased calls to your call center (and more work for you!)
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Findings from Usability Studies
� Skilled readers:
� Read at a 10th – 12th grade level
� Scan web pages for
� Headings
� Keywords
� Links
� First 2 words of a line get most attention
� “F” pattern
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F-pattern Shown in Eye-Tracking Studies
http://www.useit.com/alertbox/reading_pattern.html
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Findings from Usability Studies
� Unskilled readers:
�Read at a 6th – 8th grade level
�Do NOT scan
�Read slowly, word by word
�Give up if there are too many words
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Skilled vs. Unskilled Readers
As web use increases, unskilled readers
are becoming nearly half of all users.
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What Do They Have in Common?
Neither wants to read all the text on your web page (and they won’t!)
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How to Serve Both at Once?
� Most important information first
� Put key information words at the start of:
�Headings
�Opening sentences
�List items
� Use standard English
� Use 6th-8th grade reading level
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Audience Analysis
� Who uses your web site?
�One group?
�A mix of several groups?
� What are the goals of your users?
� What are your users’ top tasks?
� What are your users really looking for?
http://www.usability.org/
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Audience Analysis (cont’d)
� Your call center can often help you understand your users better
�What are the most common questions?
�What confuses people?
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Audience Analysis (cont’d)
� No call center or helpdesk?
�Think about what questions you get
�Ask your colleagues about the questions they answer most often
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Apply Your Audience Analysis:
What is your message?� In one sentence, what are you trying to tell people?
Why are you creating a web page?� Answering users’ questions
� Addressing users’ concerns
http://www.usability.org/
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Formatting
� “Escaping the essay”
�Headings
�Bulleted lists
�White space
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Organization
� “Top down”
� Order of importance
� By task
� By topic
� By user group
� “Rule of 7”
http://www.usability.org/
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Alignment and formatting of text
For better readability be consistent with fonts, formatting and alignment:
� Left justification is easier to read
� Center content sparingly
� Keep paragraphs to approx 12 words in width
� Sans serif fonts like Arial are easier to read
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Emphasizing Content
� Don’t emphasize text with
�ALL CAPS
�Underlining
� Italics
� Do emphasize text with boldface
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Writing Links
� Don’t use non-descriptive links:Click here for more informationor
For more information go tohttps://parole.state.ny.us/EMPLOYrequirements.asp
� Do use descriptive links: For more information go to Parole website
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Handling acronyms
� Don’t use acronyms without explaining what they mean
� Do spell out acronyms (i.e., Empire State College (ESC) )
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Use of images
� Be careful not to overuse images
� Align images with your message
� Moving images may not comply with accessibility standards
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Use of images (cont’d)
Images can be broken down into the following:
� Illustration
� Navigation
� Decoration
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Content Overload
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Content That’s “Just Right”
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Workshop #1 – Part 1
“Escaping the essay”: 15 Minutes
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Go From This:
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To This:
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Formatting: Questions?
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Break! 15 Minutes
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“Readability Formulas”?
� Common formulas:
�Fogg Index
�Flesch-Kincaid
� Formulas are based on:
�Average sentence length
�Syllable count
�Ratios of short to long words
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The Flesch-Kincaid Formula
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What’s NOT Measured?
� Use of standard English
� Appropriateness for audience
� Logical flow
� Organization
� Format
� And many other features!
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So What Good Are Formulas?
� Emphasis on sentence length highlights:
�Wordiness
�Overly complex sentences
� Emphasis on syllable count, use of long vs. short words highlights:
�Overuse of long, unfamiliar, “$4” words
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So How Do You Make a Web Page More “Readable”?
� Organization and formatting
� Avoid the “wall o’ text”
� Clarity
� Conciseness� Use conversational language (e.g. You, we ...)
� All of the above based on your audiences!
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Editing for “Clarity”
� What does “clear” mean?
�Can only be interpreted one way
� Concrete and specific
� Make sentences “active” (a.k.a. active voice)
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Concrete and Specific
Abstract � Concrete
Food
Transportation � Motor Vehicle � Truck
� Fruit � Pear � Bartlett
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Active Sentences
Working definition:
or said another way:
Action in the verb, agent in the subject
The subject does the action in the verb.
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How to Make a Sentence “Active”?
� Find the action
� Make the action the verb
� Figure out who or what is doing the action (a.k.a. the “agent”)
� Make the agent the subject
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Make the Sentence “Active”
Where’s the action?
There was an assessment of the
project by the engineers.
Action got hidden inside a noun
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Make the Sentence “Active”
Where’s the “agent” that does the action?
There was an assessment of the
project by the engineers.
Buried in a phrase at the end
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Make the Sentence “Active”
AGENT ACTION OBJECT
The engineers assessed the project.
SUBJECT VERB OBJECT
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Make the Sentence “Active”
There was an engineering project
assessment.
Where’s the action?
Buried in words jammed together at the end
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Make the Sentence “Active”
There was an engineering project
assessment.
Where’s the agent that does the action?
Buried in those same jammed words – maybe!
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Make the Sentence “Active”
AGENT ACTION OBJECT
SUBJECT VERB OBJECT
Inspectors assessed the engineering project.
The engineers assessed the project.
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Make the Sentence “Active”
The project was assessed by the
engineers.
Where’s the action?
Buried in a past participle – “passive voice”
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Make the Sentence “Active”
The project was assessed by the
engineers.
Where’s the agent?
Buried in a phrase at the end
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Make the Sentence “Active”
AGENT ACTION OBJECT
The engineers assessed the project.
SUBJECT VERB OBJECT
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Active Sentences Are “Clearer”Because:
� Their “subject-verb-object” structure:
� Is direct
�Spells out who did what, to what
� They’re easier for unskilled readers
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Workshop #2Editing for Clarity: 20 Minutes
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Editing for Conciseness
Classic problems to eliminate:
�Redundance
�Meaningless modifiers
�Pompous diction (“writing to impress”)
�Phrases for words
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Redundance
The evaluators will give active thought
and consideration to the true facts
about the situation.
The evaluators will consider the facts about
the situation.
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Redundance
In my personal opinion In my opinion
Small in size Small
Completely accurate Accurate
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Meaningless Modifiers
Basically, the general proposals for
balancing the budget were utterly rejected.
The proposals for balancing the budget were
rejected.
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Meaningless Modifiers
Perfectly clear Clear
Essentially true True
Very unique Unique
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Pompous Diction
It is incumbent on all of us to endeavor to maximize our utilization of best web programming and content development practices
We should use the best practices for web programming and content development.
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Pompous Diction
Expeditious Quick
Remuneration Payment
Prevaricate Evade
Utilize Use
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Phrases for Words
At this point in time, veterans can apply for
educational benefits with a minimum of effort.
Now veterans can apply for educational benefits easily.
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Phrases for Words
In point of fact In fact
Period of time Time (or period)
In order to To
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Workshop #3
Editing for Conciseness: 20 Minutes
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Did Your Edits Help?
� Usability tests
� Ask some typical users to review content
� Call center (before and after):
�Are they getting the same questions?
�More?
�Less?
�Different?
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Summary
� Bring information forward with:�Headings
�Bullets
�Whitespace
�And other “escapes from the essay”
� Keep language:� “Clear”: Direct, active, specific
�Concise
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References and All Materials
Posted online at:http://www.nysforum.org/accessibility/resources/
(and the URL is on your handouts!)