Most dysfunctional families are a direct

outgrowth of TROUBLED

PARENTS.

Troubled parents may:Have addictionsUse physical violenceMay be unable to provideExploit children (use them as possessions, use strong authoritarian control)

Regardless of the parents’ intentions, children may suffer:Depression

Live troubled lives

By withdrawing from society

Have low self-esteem

Abusive Parents1. Physical- satisfying their emotions by taking their anger out on their children, by not correcting their children, by using little effort to control their children.

2. Sexual –Contact between an adult and child that must be kept secret.

3. Verbal – Frequent belittling or criticism, using profanity toward their children, verbally abusing them instead of their actions.

Roles in a Dysfunctional FamilyAddict-a family member that is under the

influence of alcohol, drugs, porn, work, etc. to the point of disrupting the family.

Enabler-a family member that allows the addict to continue their addiction; excuses, ignoring the problem, denial, etc.

Family Hero Child:“9 going on 40”Takes over parent role, earlyResponsibleSelf-sufficientLooks good on the outsideGood student, good in sports, prom queen,

etcMake parents look good

Family Hero Adult:Controlling, judgmental, compulsive, driven

“Success” on the outside Cut off from their inner emotional life

Hard time admitting that there is anything that needs to be healed.

Scapegoat (Child)Family feels ashamed ofActs out the tension the family ignores

Provides distractions from real issues

Has trouble in schoolBecomes pregnant or addicted as teenagers

Scapegoat (Adult)Become cynical and distrustful

Have a lot of self-hatredCan be very self-destructive

Usually first to get help

Lost Child (Child)Attempts to be invisibleDaydream, fantasize, read a lot, watch TV

Deal with reality by withdrawing from it

Deny they have feelingsDon’t bother getting upset

Lost Child (Adult)Unable to feelLow self-esteemTerrified of intimacyRelationship phobiaWithdrawn, shy, socially isolated

Mascot/Family Clown (Child)Takes responsibility for emotional well-being of family

“Social” director/clownDiverts family’s attention from the pain and anger

Mascot/Family Clown (Adult)Valued for kind heart, generosity,

ability to listen to othersWhole self is centered on othersDon’t get their own needs metCannot receive love only give itWork in “helping” professions to

overcomeHave low self worth and guilt and to

overcome, work hard to be nice