eat street : the manbque guide to making street food at home

©2016byJohnCarruthers,JohnScholl,JesseValencianaPhotography©ClaytonHauck

PublishedbyRunningPress,AMemberofthePerseusBooksGroupAllrightsreservedunderthePan-Americanand

InternationalCopyrightConventions

PrintedinChinaThisbookmaynotbereproducedinwholeorinpart,inanyformorbyanymeans,electronicor

mechanical,includingphotocopying,recording,orbyanyinformationstorageandretrievalsystemnowknownorhereafterinvented,withoutwrittenpermissionfromthepublisher.

BookspublishedbyRunningPressareavailableatspecialdiscountsforbulkpurchasesintheUnitedStatesbycorporations,institutions,andotherorganizations.Formoreinformation,pleasecontacttheSpecialMarketsDepartmentatthePerseusBooksGroup,2300ChestnutStreet,Suite200,

Philadelphia,PA19103,orcall(800)810-4145,ext.5000,[email protected].

LibraryofCongressControlNumber:2015959425

E-bookISBN978-0-7624-5870-7

9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1DigitontherightindicatesthenumberofthisprintingDesignedbyJoshuaMcDonnell

EditedbyZacharyLeibmanTypography:Avenir&BrandonPropStylist:LizKlafeta

RunningPressBookPublishers

2300ChestnutStreetPhiladelphia,PA19103-4371

Visitusontheweb!www.offthemenublog.com

mailto:[email protected]

http://www.offthemenublog.com

Contents

Introduction

TheGriddleTheJamesDeanArepasAll-DayMacmuffinwichTennesseeBreakfastSausageBaconButtyRedeyeCountryBiscuitMoroccanLambMiniBurgerswithHarissaYogurtandFreshMintChipotlePorkSlidersTheManbqueMeltTaylorStreetPorkChopSandwichHangerSteakandKimchiBurritoSteamedHamsTheCubanoRoomServiceMedianocheHangoverBagelwichBreakfastTacosHatchChiliBurgersObatzdaBurgerSpamMusubiThePhillyCheesesteakButwhataboutMyWiz?!?EndlessQuesadillasMexicanTruffleQuesadillas

PansBuffaloCauliflowerDipCastIronAppleCrumble

EurozoneWafflesTheUltimateMeatballSubSweetPlantainsTatankosTakoyakiOffseasonElotesFurnitureStoreMeatballsandSwedenSauce

FryerAranciniOysterPo’BoyScotchEggsSchotchEggsVariationsBoudinBallsThemeParkChurrosTostonesRedSauceCalamariFriedGiardinieraThePlow&HagFishandChipsEmpanadaDoughSeafoodEmpanadaChickenEmpanadasHawaiianEmpanada’MericaEmpanadasSweetPotatoEmpanadasFriedRavioliFriedChickenNashvilleHotChickenTriple-PeachFriedPiesAmerica’sFavoriteVegetableTheWonderfulWorldofFriesGetSauced!KatsuPorkIPAWingsLeCornDogFriedAvocadoTacosTheSouthSider

NativeAmericanFryBreadChicken-FriedBaconBroadShoulderWingsChicagoMeetsBuffaloWingsKoreanHotChickenWingswithPeanutsandScallionsSmokedSalmonandBaconPoppersWenceslasSquareSandwichLineCookChicharronesFryLikeaScotsmanFriedGreenTomatoesFriedPicklesFriedCheeseCurdsPotatoChipsWhiteTableclothBBQChipsGreatLakesFishFry

WokBaconLimeFriedRiceHongShaoRouPorkBellyGyozaHotDogGyoza!StripMallPadThai

FireHowtoCookActual,NobullshitKobeorWagyuBeefBaconS’moresBalikEkmekBaltimorePitBeefChickenSatayChickenTikkaKebabsBuffaloChickenSausageWing-Bak:ChickenWarriorKungPorkBeefEndsBeefJerkyEloteWingsButcher’sHotLinks

IzakayaChickenPiecesGermanDönerTandooriChickenWingsBratsforAll!ChinatownWingsCurryWeisswurstHarissaLambLollipopswithMintedYogurtSauceHuli-HuliChickenPineappleBoatsFigandPigSandwichHarissaButterGrilledOystersSmokedPorchettaSmokedPorchettaConstructionVoltron:TheSandwichHaHaHaHaHaYouLoseIdiotsWingsGrilledFishTacos

OvenBaconCandiedBaconCubanMojoPorkCheese-RichOceanInletBiscuitsCornishPastySesameSteakManapuaYucatanPorkBeefonWeckBigKahunaPorkBellyBurgersNo.4½BroccoliSubFarmhousePizzaDoughGrilledDuckPestoPizzaBresaolaWholePeeledTomatoPizzaProsciuttoandFigPizzawithArugulaJalapeñoPopperPizzaPearandGorgonzolaPizzaItalianBeefRopaViejaOctopuswich!

PhillyRoastPorkGrinderSausageRollsSouthernCornbreadBraisedSauerkrautJalapeño-InfusedRibsSweetcornDipRunzas

CauldronBelgianBeerMusselsChesapeakeBlueCrabsBlackBeansSicilian-StyleStuffedArtichokesBraisedPorkBellyBanhMiSandwicheswithNuocMauBarTamales

HotDogsTheChicago-StyleHotDogTheDepressionDogImpostorBagelDogManhattanStreetMeatDogsDetroitConeyDogsTheCrescentCityRegretDogTheEmeraldCityDogNorwayFranskdogIcelandicDogTheRioTheColumbianTheMoloka’iUtopenciDoritomalesDiveBarPickledEggsBaoDutchOvenKoreanBBQBeefTacosWalkingTacosImperialShortribsBaconSnickerSnackBars

KnivesandStonesPretty-Damn-CloseMuffulettaSandwichBourbon,Banana,andNutellaPaletasChipotleCocteldeCamaronesGuacamoleSmørrebrødSwordfish&ScallopMangoCevicheTostadasTramezzinoPigwichDrunkGuyNachos!PimentoCheese

ThePantryMB(B)QSauceFriedShallotsKatsuSauceSpicyPickledWatermelonUKBrownSauceCalienteChocolateSauceVanillaCajeta99LuftbalonsCurrySauceDinerSauceIslandPeanutSaucePineappleBourbonSauceCajunRemouladeDuckSauceSuper16-BitGiardinieraOhWait,ThisOneIsMy(Bacon)JamBavarianSweetMustardBayrischKrautBlueCheeseAleSauceChimichurriGuasacacaHoneySrirachaMayoAnchoChileBBQSauceHarissaHawaiianMilkBread

HoneyButterCubanMojoSauceHopsButterPickledHopShootsPestoPearChutneyPickledMustardSeedsPickledPineappleRelishPorterBeerMustardRasElHanoutRoastedPearandPineappleSalsaDillTzatzikiGrilledFruitandSweetCornSalsaNewMexicoGreenChileSauceNewMexicoRedChiliSauceBBQRubRedGravyVodkaSauceTequilaLimeCremaSupperClubBeerCheese

It’sBoozeTime!FrenchPressedBeerSummerRadlerSaisonGinFizzWeissenSourCraft-and-TanFancyGuinnessThugPassion“No,theHayrideWillBeFunThisYear”MulledCiderSinterklausVodkadrankRiotPunchTelenovelaHotChocolate

KickOuttheJams

AcknowledgmentsIndex

INTRODUCTION

Greatfoodrequiresyearsoftraining,respectforestablishedstandards,andanexactingfocusonlocal,organic,andartisancookingphilosophies.Withevery bite, every taste, and every aroma,weneed to holistically considerour impact on tradition, the environment, and local foodways. Only bymindfullyanddeliberatelyinternalizingallsidesofthefoodsystemthroughyearsofpreparationcanweproducetrulymeaningfulfood.

...Atleast,that’saccordingtotheassholes.Consumetoomuchfoodmedia todayandyou’re likely tobewracked

withacombinationofinsecurityandguiltbeforeyoucanevenpickupyourknife.WhyshouldItryandwhipupapo’boywhenthisguy’sbeendoingitflawlesslyfortwodecadesandIlivetwotimezonesawayfromtheonlyacceptable local bread? How can I use this beef when I don’t know thenameoftherancherwhoraisedit(It’sHank.It’salwaysHank.)?HowcanIethically cook if I don’t knowwhich traditionalWelsh lullabiesmy lambchopwassungtosleepwith?

It’sfantasticthatpeoplearepayingsomuchmoreattentiontofoodandcooking these days—we did get a couple of books out of this wholephenomenon—butyoucomeawaywitha lotofmessagesaboutTheBestand TheWorst: “Only The Best will do!Whywould you get a hot doganywhereelse,youidiot?”“Commerciallyraisedproduce?That’s literallytheworstthingsinceHitler!”Food’saworldofalmostlimitlesspossibility,butallofour2,000-wordarticleson“whatdoesitallMEAN”leavethingsweirdlycodifiedandstringent.It’swhytheword“foodie”getsaneyerollfromus.

Forus,foodisn’tareferendumonyourpersonalethos.It’smessy.It’sloud.Most importantly, it’sfun.That’swhywelove tomakeitandeat itourselves. And at the heart of things, food connects you to the bestmemoriesofyourlife:grabbingtavernpizzawiththefamilyandshoutingovereachother;findingtheperfectempanadaatapackedstreetfestivalinthemiddleofsummer;finallysaying“fuckit”andtryingadishyoucan’t

pronounceatamarketstallduringstudyabroad.It’swhyonewhiffoffoodacross a crowded street can bring back a rush of memories you hadn’tthoughtofinyears.

Thefoodyoueatstandingupisn’tanybetterorworsethanthefoodyoupaythe$200prixfixetagfor,it’sjustdifferent.Whilewe’regladthatyoucanbuyapreviouslyunthinkableamountofethically-sourced ingredients,sometimesyou’vegotfifteenpeoplecomingover,afamilytofeed,oryoujustwanttogetdinneronthetable.Sowe’veputtogetherrecipesthatdrawfrom thehighsand lowsofwhat thisgreat foodnationhas tooffer, fromspecially bred (and expensive!) wagyu beef to the corn dog, King ofMidwesternGarbageFoods.

So go ahead, do your thing. Make a Philly steak with the regulartorpedo roll fromyour local grocery. Press aCubanowith a brick.Makesometakoyakianddunkitinaspicymayoliketheflavor-seekingbarbarianyou’reborn tobe.We’vegot a limitedamountofmealson this earth, solet’strytoenjoyallofthem.

We’vegotalotofdeliciousstuffinthisbook,solet’sgetstarted.Callsome friendsup.Buyaquantityofbeer, then reconsider andgoback fordouble that amount. We’d remind you to preheat the oven, but you’llprobablyforgetanyway.That’sfine—there’snorush.

Eatthis.Drinkup.WelcometoEatStreet.

THEGRIDDLEThe wide, hot expanse of the griddle is like the desert in one of thoseCormac McCarthy murder novels we enjoy so much. Forged in heat,brutally unforgiving, it exists only to force change and bring somethingface-to-facewithitsessence.

Or maybe we’re putting too much thought into it. While you’rereading this, there’s a sullen teenager somewhere manning an electricgriddleataRalph’ssupermarketofferingtinybitesofregrettablecheese-injectedsausageandmakingninedollarsanhour.But,asacook,isn’titmuchmorefuntoputyourselfinthemiddleofsomethingepic?

Theultimatepointis,youcanmakesomedeliciousstuffonagriddle,evenif—no,ESPECIALLYif—it’satwodollarcastironresidentoftheIslandofMisfitKitchenToysatyourlocalthriftstore.IftheWaffleHutcookwhohasn’tsleptinfourty-sixhoursandwhoappearstobetweakingcanmanage tocreatedeliciousfoodon thisblankslateofpossibility,socanyou.

Whenbuyingagriddle,lookfor:

• Somethingheavy:Youwantittogethotandstayhot.Castironmaynotbethemosteven-heatingmaterial,butyoucangetacrispysearonadiner-styleburgersodeliciousitcansingle-handedlysolvethestudentloandebtcrisis.

• Somethingsuitedtoyourkitchen:Areyouakitchenettedweller?Maybeyoudon’thaveroomforsomefour-burnerbeastofaslab.Asmallermodelcouldbeinthecards.Ifyoudon’tcaremuchabouthigh-heatsearing,then(gasp)anelectricskilletwillgiveyoutheheatandquicksetupyou’reafter.

• Somethingyoucanmaintain:There’snothingsadderthangesturingtoapieceofkitchenequipmentyouspentgoodmoneyonandsaying,“Iusedthatonce.IwishIhadn’tboughtit.”Nothingsadder.Maybepuppieswithcancer.Cuteones.We’regettingofftrack:Thepointis,askyourselfbeforehandthingslike“doIwanttomaintain

castiron?”,“doIhaveroomforthis?”,and“willthiscookexactlywhatIwantexactlyhowIwantit?”Don’tbuysomething,finditinconvenient,andthensenditoffasatax-deductibledonation.Griddlesfeelyourrejection.It’slikeToyStory.

Nowyou’reequippedandreadytocook.Let’sdothis.Trynottoburnyourself.

(Youwillmostlikelyburnyourself.Havefunanyway.)

THEJAMESDEANRECIPEBYMATTKUHNEN

Brunchgetsallthegloryamongdinersthesedays,owinggreatlytothe“vodka’sokayat10:00a.m.ifthere’s Vitamin C along for the ride” line of reasoning.We can remember a simpler time whenbrunch wasn’t a part of our vocabulary and you had to have some real “breakfast for dinner”rebelliousnesstogetyourfixoutsideofregularhours.Sometimeswecan’twaitfortheweekendtoenjoytwelvedollareggsandaBloodyMary.Enterthebreakfast-toppedburger—theO.G.waytosay“breakfastanytime.”

MAKES4BURGERS1largeonion,sliced

1teaspoonoliveoil½teaspoonkoshersalt,divided½cupmayonnaise⅛cuppuremaplesyrup1½tablespoonsbrownsugar2½tablespoonsSriracha

1poundgroundsirloin½poundmaplesausage½teaspoonblackpepper

1egg¼cupItalianseasonedbreadcrumbs1tablespoonbaconfat4slicesbaconcheddar

4largebuttermilkbiscuits

1.Inasaucepan,sautéonioninoliveoilandapinchofsalt.Cookoniononlowheatstirringoccasionally,for35minutes,oruntilsoftanddarkbrown.Setaside.

2. Combine mayonnaise, maple syrup, brown sugar, and Sriracha. Whiskthoroughly.Setasideinrefrigerator.

3.Inalargemixingbowl,addthesirloin,maplesausage,remainingsalt,pepper,egg,andbreadcrumbs.Mixthoroughly.

4.Dividemeatinto4equalportions,rollintoballs,andflattentomakepatties.

5.Heatgriddleovermedium-highheat.

6.Addbaconfattohotgriddle.Addthepattiesandcookfor3to4minutesperside.

7.Add1sliceofbaconcheddartoeachpatty,asplashofwater,andcoverwithmetalbowlonthegriddlefor60to90seconds,oruntilcheeseisfullymelted.

8.Transferpattiestocuttingboardtorestforafewminuteswhileyouslicethebiscuits.

9.Placeaspoonfulofcaramelizedonionsonthebottomhalfofthebiscuitandplaceburgerontopofonions.SpreadahealthyspoonfuloftheSriracha-maplemayoonthetopbiscuitandplaceontopofburger.

SUGGESTEDBEERPAIRING:COFFEESTOUT

AREPASRECIPEBYEFRAINCUEVAS

Visit anyColumbian orVenezuelan street food stall and you’ll soon sing the praises of the arepa.Theyarethecapital-TTruth,andcanbestuffedwithanynumberofdeliciousthings.Golookingforarepasintherightplaceandyoucanfindliterallyanythingfromchickenandcheesetoshark.We’veincludedourfavoritethreeingredientstostuffintothem,butyoucanprobablychopupandthrowinanythinginthisbook—uptoandincludinghotdogs.

MAKES12TO16AREPAS4cupswarmwater

1tablespoonkoshersalt3tablespoonsunsaltedbutter,softened1poundcornflour(alsoknownasharinapanormasarepa)Vegetalbeoil,forgrillYucatanPork(page185),Blackbeans(page222),and/orSweetPlantains(page53),tofill

1. Ina largemixingbowl, combine thewater, salt, andbutter.Slowlyadd thecornflour,mixingquicklytoavoidlumps.

2.Whenasmoothdoughforms,coverthebowlwithadamptowelandallowtorestforatleast5minutes.

3.Portionthedoughintosmallballsslightlylargerthanagolfball.

4.Flatteneachballintoa1-inch-thickdisc,about4to5inchesindiameter.

5.Heatagriddleovermedium,greasewithvegetableoil,andseareachof thediscsfor2minutesperside.Youcandothisaheadoftimeandfinishthearepaswhenyou’rereadytoserve.

6.Returnthearepastothegriddle(orgrilloverawoodfire)for5to8minutesper side.Removeand let cool for a fewminutes, then splitwitha sharpknifehalfwaysothatthetopandbottomstaytogether,similartoapita.

7.Fillthemwiththepork,beans,plantains,orwhateveryouwishandservehot.

BEERPAIRING:VIENNALAGER

ALL-DAYMACMUFFINWICH

Ourfriends(andyours)rantaboutthegreasyhomogeneityofAmericanfastfoodculture,butdeepdown,95percentofpeoplesecretlycarryatorchforthesimplejoyofadrive-thrubreakfast.Duetothetwinmenacesofalcoholanda10:30a.m.cutoff,mostweekendsofouryouthwentbywithnaryasodium-richmeatbiscuit.Here’sourversion,soyoucankillthehangoverthatmuchclosertohome.

MAKES8BREAKFASTSANDWICHES1tablespooninstantespresso

1cupmayonnaise½teaspooncayennepepperVegetableoil,forgriddle8½-inchslicesTennesseeBreakfastSausage(seeinsert)

4tablespoonsbutter8Englishmuffins,split8slicescheddar,Gouda,or(forauthenticity’ssake)Americancheese

1.Usingahandblenderorwhiskinglikeamadman,blendtheespressopowderintothemayo.Whenitbeginstocolorandflavorthemayo(you’llbothseeandtastetheeffect),addthecayenne.Tasteforseasoningandsetaside.

2.Heatyourgriddletomediumandgiveitathinsheenofvegetableoil.Cookyoursausage2minutesperside,untilwell-brownedonbothsidesandcookedthroughto165°F.Setasidesausages.

3.Add thebutter to thegriddle and toast themuffin halves 30 to 45 seconds,untillightlycolored.

4.Removemuffinsandgiveeachaswipeofthecoffeemayoacrossthetop.

5.Return the sausage to thepan ina tightgrouping, toppingeachslicewithaslice of cheese. Add a couple of tablespoons of water next to each slice andcover brieflywith a bowl or pan. That few seconds of steamwillmake your

cheesehugthesausagelikealong-lostbrother.

6.Remove the sausages to thepreparedmuffins, thenuse them to returnyourovernightgueststosomethingapproachingnormalfunction.You’llbeaherotothepeople.

BEERPAIRING:HONESTLY,PROBABLYWHATEVER’SLEFTFROMLASTNIGHT.VERYGOODCHANCETHAT’SAHIGHLIFEORPBR.

TENNESSEEBREAKFASTSAUSAGE

RECIPEBYTOMBROOKSIf you’re adisplacedSoutherner located far from the spicybreakfast sausageyou love,we’vecreated a version that is incredibly close to the delicious clothbound country sausage servedthroughouttheSoutheast.

Theonlyrealstipulationisthatyouneedtousesomehigh-qualitybacontoreplicatethecoldsmokingeffectusedontheoriginalproduct.Don’tgothisfarandcheapoutonuswithcrappybacon.Aswithanysausageorgrindingproject,makesureabsolutelyeverything—thegrinder,thebowl,themeat—isverycoldtoensuregooddistributionoffat.

MAKES2½POUNDS2poundsfattypork,cubedto1inch135gramskoshersalt4gramsPraguepowder#18gramsblackpepper½teaspooncrushedredpepperflake,shakenthroughafinemeshstrainer½cupcoldwater½poundhickory-smokedbacon,choppedandfrozen15inches-of2inch-diametersyntheticcasing1.Coarselygrindthepork.Youknow,swearatit,drinkwhiskeyat10:00a.m.aroundit,takeittothedogtrack.2.Make a slurrywith the salt, Prague powder, black pepper, red pepperflake,andcoldwater.

3.Inastandmixer,addslurrytogroundmeatandmixwithpaddleatlowspeeduntilsticky.

4.Addthefrozenbacon,mixuntilincorporated.

5.Runthemeatmixturethroughthegrinderagain.

6.Stuffthecasingwiththemeat.Tieitoffandhangintherefrigeratorfor1to 3 days, then slice and serve to hungover students and homesickSoutherners.

BEERPAIRING:IPA

BACONBUTTY

It’s not the super-rich bacon we grew up with, but the lean, hammy back bacon (also known asrasherbacon)thatisaworthycenterpiecetoEngland’sfavoritehangovercure.Alittlebrownsauce,somebutter,andyou’vegotcomfortfoodbeforeyou’veevenshowered.That’sliving.

Rashers?Brownsauce?Theyreallyneed toworkshopsomemoreappetizing ingredientnames.ThismaybewhyBritishfoodgetsabadrap.

MAKES4EXCEEDINGLYBRITISHSANDWICHES2tablespoonsvegetableoil,forgriddle12slicesrasherbacon4tablespoonsunsaltedbutter

8thicksliceswhitebreadUKBrownSauce(page276),toserve1.Oilthegriddleandheattomedium-low.

2.Cookthebacon,turningfrequently,for10minutes,untilslightlycrispbutnotdriedout.Removeandsetasideunderfoil.

3.Add the butter to the griddle and toast the bread 45 seconds per side, untilwell-browned.

4.Dividethebaconbetweenthesandwiches,topwithbrownsauce,andserve.

BEERPAIRING:ENGLISHBITTER

REDEYECOUNTRYBISCUIT

Thisisthebreakfastthemanonthepapertowelcommercialseatseverymorning.Let’sgetyoureadytofellsomeold-growthtimber.

MAKES10BREAKFASTSANDWICHES.GROWSHAIRONYOURCHEST,EVEN.2center-cutslicescountryham

1cupoliveoil5serranopeppers,chopped12ouncescoffeestout1eggyolk1tablespoonwater1tablespoonfreshlemonjuice2teaspoonsinstantespressopowder1teaspoonkoshersalt

2tablespoonsoliveoil10warmbuttermilkbiscuits,splitFriedShallots(page274)orcannedshoestringonions

1. Heat griddle over medium-low and cook the country ham slices, turningfrequentlyuntilslightlybrownedandwarmedthrough.Moveittoacoolerpartorsetasideifitcooksthroughquicklysoitwon’ttoughen.

2.Greaseyourgriddlewitholiveoil and sauté the serranopeppers5minutes,until softened.Pourover thecoffee stout2ouncesat a time, refreshingas thebeerevaporates,untilyou’vegotsoft,beer-richhotpeppers.

3.Makethecoffeemayobywhiskingtheeggyolk,water,lemonjuice,espressopowder, and salt.Whisk in the oil gradually until your mayo forms, then setaside.

4.Removehamfromthegriddle,trimawaytheboneandanygristle,andsliceintobiscuit-sizedpieces.

5.Spreadthemayoonthetopsof thebiscuits.Addthehamandpeppers, thentopwithfriedonions.

BEERPAIRING:BARREL-AGEDIMPERIALCOFFEESTOUT

MOROCCANLAMBMINIBURGERSWITHHARISSAYOGURTANDFRESHMINT

RECIPEBYADAMHOLTZAPFEL

Thisisagreatwaytointroducepeopletolambwithakickfromtheharissayogurtandfreshmint.

MAKES8SLIDERS

4tablespoonsGreekyogurt1tablespoonHarissa(page286)Juiceof½lemon¾teaspoonkoshersalt,divided

2teaspoonsoliveoil1tablespoonRaselHanout(page294)

1poundgroundlamb8minibuns,split

8freshmintleaves

1.Heatgriddletomedium.

2.Mixtheyogurt,harissa,lemonjuice,¼teaspoonsalt,andoliveoilinabowl.

3.Inashallowdish,combinetheremainingsaltwiththeRaselhanout.

4. Divide the ground lamb into 8 equal 2-ounce portions and flatten tomakepatties.Dredgethepattiesinthespicemixture.

5. Cook the patties for approximately 3 minutes per side. Remove, place onbuns,andtopwiththeharissayogurtandafreshmintleaf.

SUGGESTEDBEERPAIRING:WEEHEAVY/SCOTCHALE

CHIPOTLEPORKSLIDERSRECIPEBYADAMHOLTZAPFEL

MAKES8SLIDERS

1poundgroundpork½poundbacon,chopped1tablespoonchipotlepowder1teaspoongroundcinnamon1teaspoonnutmeg1teaspooncardamom

Yellowmustard8Hawaiianrolls,splitChihuahuacheese,totopAnchoChileBBQSauce(page286),toserve1.Heatgriddletomedium.

2.Inalargebowl,mixthegroundporkandbacon.Divideinto8equal2-ounceportionsandformintosliders.

3.Mixthechipotle,cinnamon,nutmeg,andcardamom.

4.Addathinlayerofmustardoneachsideoftheslideranddipbothsidesintothespicemixture.

5.Griddleyourburgersfor2minutes.Flip,topwithcheese,andgriddleanotherminute.

6.ServeonHawaiianrolltoppedwithAnchoChileBBQSauce.

BEERPAIRING:BOCK

THEMANBQUEMELT

The patty melt is our late-night, 4:00 a.m., “I need to find a Greek diner soon or I’ll die of ahangover” dish nine times out of ten. If you haven’t yet enjoyed a pattymelt after an evening ofdrinking, thencongratulations,you’ve failedourunofficial citizenship testandareclearlyaSovietspy.BetterluckinMinsk,Comrade.

For you freedom-loving drunks still reading, we added crunchy bacon and a honey-Srirachamayo to complement the richness. Unchanged is the traditional rye bread, heaps of onions, anddelugeofcheese.UncleSamwantsyou!(Tomakethissandwich.)

MAKES4SANDWICHES⅓cupmayonnaise½teaspoonlimejuice3teaspoonsSriracha3teaspoonshoney

1poundgroundbeef2onions,cutinhalfthroughtherootandslicedthin6tablespoonssaltedbutter,atroomtemperature8slicesmarbleryebread

8slicessharpcheddar8stripsthick-cutbacon,cooked(page175)

1.Whiskthemayonnaise,limejuice,Sriracha,andhoneytogetherinabowlandrefrigerate.

2.Preheatgriddleovermediumheat.

3.Gentlypackthebeefintofourpattiesandseasonwithsaltandpepper.

4.Cookthepatties3to4minutespersideandremovetoawirerack.

5.Lower thegriddleheat tomedium-lowandadd the slicedonions.Cook theonionsintherenderedfatforabout6minutes.Removeandsetaside.Wipethe

griddleclean.

6.Butterbothsidesoftheryebreadandtoast1sideonthegriddle.Thetoastedsideswillbetheinteriorofthesandwich.

7.AssemblethesandwichbyspreadingagenerouslayerofSrirachamayoonthetoastedsideofthebread,followedbysliceofcheese,¼oftheonions,2slicesofbacon,abeefpatty,andanothersliceofcheese.Slapthesecondpieceofbreadoverthewholething.Ifitdoesn’texplode,youprobablydiditright.

8.Turntheheatdowntolowandthentoastsandwichesfor3to4minutesperside,untilthecheeseismeltedbutbeforethebreadburns.Ifthecheeseisbeingstubborn,addatablespoonofwatertothegriddleandcoverthesandwichesfor30seconds.

BEERPAIRING:AMBERALE

TAYLORSTREETPORKCHOPSANDWICH

Youknowwhat’sagreatidea?Aporkchopsandwichwithonionsgrilledsolongontheflattopthattheyalmostfallapart.It’saclassicdishatJim’sOriginalinChicago.Youknowwhat’sahilariousidea?Givingadrunkperson(Jim’shasquitethelatenightbusiness)aporksandwichonabunwiththebonestillattached.Yetithappens,andit’sbelovedlocally.NooffensetoJim’sOriginalandtherestoftheplacesservingupbone-inchopsandwichesbutwemadeourversionsans-bonetomakeitslightlymoreuser-friendly.

You’llnotice there’s somebriningandwaitingbeforeyoucook.That’s to ensurea really juicybiteofporknomatterhowheavilyyousear.It’stogetthebestresult.Butifyou’dratherjusteat,thenskipitonceandtestyourporkmastery.

MAKES6SANDWICHES½cupsalt½cupsugar4country-styleporkchops,butterflied2tablespoonsvegetableoil,plusmoretorubandsear2whiteonions,chopped

2tablespoonsDijonmustard16ouncesbrownale

4tablespoonskoshersalt1tablespoonsweetsmokedHungarianpaprika2teaspoonsmustardpowder

1teaspoondriedoregano½teaspoonblackpepper½teaspoongarlicpowder6whitebuns

4tablespoonsroomtemperaturebutterDinerSauce(page278),toserve1.Boilaquartofwaterinalargepotandaddthesaltandsugar.Stirtodissolveandremovefromheat.Stirinaquartoficetochill.Whenthemixturehascooled,addthebutterfliedchopsandletbrineintherefrigeratorforatleast1hour.Remove,patdry,andplaceonarack

intherefrigeratortoair-dryforatleast45minutesbeforecooking.

2.Whiletheporkbrines,heatthevegetableoilonthegriddleovermediumheat.Cook theonions for5minutes, tossing tocoat evenlywithoil.Add theDijonandstirtocoatonions.

3.Pouroveracoupleof tablespoonsof thebeerandletcookuntilevaporated.Repeat thiswhole process until you’ve got some super-caramelized onions oryougetbored.Eitherway,youhavetowaitforthatpork.Pushthemtoawarmbutnon-centralpartofthegrill.They’llbefinethere,andthey’llonlygetbetterasyougoalong.

4. Mix the salt, paprika, mustard powder, oregano, black pepper, and garlicpowder.Rubthechopswithoilandseasonwiththespicemixture.

5.Cookthechopsonthegriddlefor5minutes.Flip,cook3minutes,andtestthetemperature. If you’ve bought some respectable pork (the lack of a big redCLEARANCEstickerisagoodclue)thenyoucanremovefromthegriddleat140°Fforanicemedium-rare,whichisathingwithpork.Otherwise,letitgoto160°Fbeforeremovingandresting.

6.Whilethechopsrest,spreadthebunswithbutterandtoastonthegriddlefor45secondsto1minute,untilbrowned.RemoveandspreadwithDinerSauceor,failingthat,somegoodmustard.

7.Placeachoponeachbunandtopwiththegrilledonions.

BEERPAIRING:BROWNALE

HANGERSTEAKANDKIMCHIBURRITO

While you can get a mediocre burrito nationwide (Karen from accounting swears by them), SanFranciscoisstillthehomeofthetremendousburrito-as-street-artversion.Thisisoursuper-richtakeonthoseunforgettablefoil-wrappedmeat-and-starchbombs.Ifyou’veneverhadone,justknowthatitshouldberoughlythesizeofaNativity-sceneBabyJesusandtwiceasdelicious.

MAKES4BIG-ASSBURRITOS2hangersteaks(about1½poundstotal)2teaspoonsvegetableoil,plus2tablespoons4tablespoonskoshersalt1tablespoongarlicpowder2teaspoonsblackpepper

1cupwhiterice¼cupfishsauce1½cupschickenstock½cuppluckedcilantroleaves1cupkimchi,totop

4flourburritowraps1.Patthehangersteaksdry,brushwith2tablespoonsvegetableoil,andseasonwiththesalt,garlicpowder,andblackpepper.Setasideintherefrigerator.

2.Bringtherice,fishsauce,andstocktoaboilinalargesaucepan.Bringtoaboil,cover,reduceheattothelowestsetting,andletcook30minutes.

3.Removelidandcheckricefordoneness.Fluffwithaforkandstirincilantro.Coverandkeepwarm.

4. Heat griddle tomedium-high and sear the hanger steaks for 2minutes perside.Remove,letrestfor5minutes,andslicethin,thenchopintoappropriatelyburrito-sizedpieces.

5. Reduce griddle heat to medium and warm the burrito wraps for 30 to 40secondsononeside.

6.Spreadthericeoverthetoastedinsideofeachburrito,thentopwithaquarteroftheslicedmeatanda¼cupofthekimchi.Wraptightly.

7.Heat theremainingvegetableoilonthegriddleandcookeachburrito,seamside down, for 90 seconds. Flip, press down gently, and cook another 60seconds.

8. Serve immediately, orwrap it in somethinghalfway to look super-cool andauthentic.Complainabunchabouthowyourneighborhoodisgentrifying.

BEERPAIRING:JAPANESERICELAGER

STEAMEDHAMS

It’sweirdtothinkofitnow,butonceuponatime,dudesinhotwoolsuitsweresingingthepraisesofthisnewlunchcountertreat,theHamburgerSandwich.That’swhyit’simportanttoeatstreet—thewild-assmarketfoodsoftodaycouldbetheclassicsoftomorrow.

As for the name “SteamedHams,” it’s an upstateNewYork expression.Albany, notUtica. Ifthere’sonethingwelovemorethanajuicygriddledburgerservedwithplentyofmeltedcheese,it’saSimpsonsreferencethatnooneunderoroveracertainagegets.Westeamagoodham.

MAKES4DOUBLEBURGERS

1poundgroundchuck½poundgroundshortrib½poundgroundbrisket2tablespoonsvegetableoil,forgriddleKoshersaltBlackpepper8slicesAmericancheeseMayo

YellowMustard8potatorolls,toasted

2cupsshreddediceberglettuce1whiteonion,thinlysliced(onamandoline,ifyouhaveit)Dillpickleslices

8dillpicklespearsFriesforserving(page89)1.Ifyou’regrindingthemeatyourself,tossthegroundmeatstogetherafterthefirstgo-roundandre-grindthemtogethertodistributethefat.Ifnot,gentlymixthemeats.

2.Formthemeatinto4-ounceballs.

3.Preheatgriddletohighandoilit.

4.Add 2 beef balls to your smoking-hot griddle, season the topwith salt andpepper,andletcook45seconds.

5.Flipyourburgersandgivethemone(ONE!)goodsmackwithyourspatula.This gives them a delicious craggy surface area,while your initial sear keepsthemtogether.Iftheyfallapart,oneofthosetwothingsisoff.

6.Seasonthetopsideofthepatties,cook90seconds,andflip.

7.Addasliceofcheesetoeachpattyandcookanother30secondstomelt.

8.Removefromthegriddleandplaceonarackaboveafoil-linedsheetpantorestfor5minuteswhilethejuicesredistribute.

9. To serve, spread mayo andmustard on the tops of each bun, and line thebottomswithlettuce.Addyour2burgerpatties,see-through-thinslicedonions,andthepickleslices.Servewithadillpicklespearandtwohandfulsoffries.

BEERPAIRING:PALELAGER(ORDUFF)

THECUBANO

Thegreatersandwichmarketplacehasbeeninfiltratedinrecentyearsbysorry-asspaninis,servedbyindifferentanduntalentedchefs,masqueradingastheoriginalsouthFloridaclassic.Ifit’sservedonanartisanbrioche,it’snotCuban.Ifit’sgotarugulainit,it’snotaCuban.Andifit’sgotpesto,thenweseriouslyquestionyourideaofgeography.

Here’saCubanasclassicasitgets.Ifyoucan’tgetrealCubanbread(andadmittedly,mostofuscan’t), thensub insomesoftbutheartyItalianorFrenchrolls.Don’tmake themistakeofusingabaguette—youwantasofterchewandabutterycrust.

Youcanmakethiswithasandwichpress,oryoucanuseafoil-wrappedbrick.Atfortycents,abrickisthethinkingman’ssandwichpress.

MAKES4CUBANOS1loafCubanbread,cutintofourequalpieces(orfourItalianrolls,split)8tablespoonsclarifiedbutter,atroomtemperatureYellowmustard(allofit)½poundSwisscheese,sliced½poundshavedCubanMojoPork(page178)½poundsweetham,slicedthin

16dillpickleslices1.Heatthegriddletomedium.Slather(andwedomeanslather)theoutsideofthebreadwiththebutter.

2. Now it’smustard’s turn for the slathering.Give the interior of the bread alittlemoreoftheyellowstuffthanyouthinkisresponsible.

3. Assemble the sandwiches like this, from the bottom up: • Half the Swiss• CubanMojoPork• Sweetham• Dillpickleslices• TheotherhalfoftheSwiss4.Placeasandwichonthegriddle,pressdownfirmly,andthenpresswiththe brick. Hold it in place for 60 to 90 seconds, flip, and repeat. The breadshould be perfectly browned andmottled. Repeatwith remaining sandwiches,adjustingtimeandtemperatureasnecessary.

5.CutdiagonallyandservewithTostones(page71).

BEERPAIRING:RUMBARREL-AGEDBEERANDARESPECTFULNODTO90MILESSOUTHOFTHECOUNTRY.

ROOMSERVICEMEDIANOCHE

Doyoueverget toahotel after everythingbut the crappyroomservicekitchen is closed?Doyousometimesfallvictimtothehamsandwich,lowliestofthehalf-assedhotelfoods?Theymakethehamsounddelicious and the cheese soundhandcrafted, anddeliver you the same sadmeal that’s beenfuckingovertravelerssincethebeginningoftheInterstatesystem.AlmostasdepressingastheninedollarbottleofskunkyDutchbeerthatcamewithit.

No more. We’ve combined our love of sweet, eggy bread, salt-bomb cured meats, and honeymustardtocreatethesandwichthateveryguestateverylonelyoutpostcravestotheirverycore.

MAKES4SANDWICHES¼cuphoney¼cupmustardpowder

8sliceschallahbread¼poundshavedManchegocheese½poundthin-slicedsalami½poundsweetham¼poundSwisscheese4tablespoonsclarifiedbutter,atroomtemperature

1.Preheatgriddletomedium-low.

2.Mixthehoneyandthemustardpowderandspreadononesideofeachsliceofbread.

3.AssemblethesandwicheswithManchegoonthebottom,alternatinglayersofhamandsalami,andSwissonthetop.

4.Slathertheoutsideofthesandwicheswiththeclarifiedbutter.

5. Press your sandwiches 45 to 60 seconds per side, until the bread begins tobrownandtheSwissmelts.

6.RemovemedianochesandservewholewithchipsandaCoke.

BEERPAIRING:KOLSCH

HANGOVERBAGELWICH

It could be the Midwest in us, but we’ve never been huge fans of the traditional creamcheese/lox/capers thataccompanyourbagels.Wewereasked to shootamorning showsegmentonbreakfastgrillingalittlewhileago,andwesettleduponthisheartybastardbasedonwhatwasleftintherefrigeratorandwhatwouldsustainusthroughanhourofstandingintherainwaitingforthecoalstocatch.

MAKES4SANDWICHES4everythingbagels,splitSupperClubBeerCheese(page301),totop

1poundthinlyslicedpastramiPickledMustardSeeds(page293),totop

Cookingspray

1.Preheatgriddletomedium.

2.Spreadbothhalvesof thebagelswithcheese.Add¼-poundslicedpastramiandatablespoonofthemustardseeds.

3.Layout four sheetsof aluminum foil.Spraywith cooking spray, thenwrapbagelstightly.

4.Griddleyourbagelwiches,pressingdownwithabrick-weightedsheetpan,for3minutesperside.

5. Remove, unwrap, and have that breakfast beer your mom says makes herworryaboutyou.

BEERPAIRING:STOUTANDASHOTPRODUCTIVITY:NONE

BREAKFASTTACOS

AnyofyouwhohaveevermetaTexanknowtheirshtick.TheRepublicofTexasisthegreatestthingandanythingyoudon’tlikeyouprobablydon’tunderstand.It’sa“Texasthing,”likescorpionsandgerrymandering.Butwhilewehave funwithourpridefulTexan friends, there’sone thing they’reirritatinglydead-onabout:Breakfasttacosarethebest.

MAKES6TACOS6ouncesMexicanchorizo,removedfromcasing2tablespoonsbutter6largeeggs

2ouncesgoatcheese6warmcornorflourtortillas

2tablespoonsfreshchiveschoppedHabanerohotsauce,toserveRedonion,chopped,toserve(optional)Chilulacheese,shreded,toserve(optional)Cilantro,chopped,toserve(optional)

1. Heat griddle to medium and cook the chorizo until rendered. Remove, setaside,andwipethegriddleclean.

2.Reducetheheattolowandaddthebutter.Thencracktheeggsdirectlyontothegriddle—don’tbeatthem,don’tsaltthem,justletnatureandyourspatuladotheirthing.

3.Stireggswiththespatulaastheybegintosolidify.Takeyourtime—5,even10 minutes. Morning show guy mocked us for howmuch time we took, butthoseweresomedamngoodeggs.He’llpayforthat.

4. When the eggs are beginning to form up but still a bit runny, toss in thecookedchorizo,thenkilltheheatandstirinthegoatcheese.

5.Removetheeggsfromthegriddleaservingatatime,deliveringthemtothe

loving arms of the tortillas. Top with chives and habanero sauce, and onion,cheese,andcilantroifyoudesire.Serveimmediately.

BEERPAIRING:HELLESLAGER

HATCHCHILIBURGERS

OnceyoucrossacertainpointintheRockies,greenHatchchilesshowupinEVERYTHING—chili,salads, burgers, or steeping in an infant’s bottle of formula.One of ourmembers brought back asuitcase-loadofthem,andthisburgerwastheresult.YoucanusedriedorevencannedHatchchilesifyoudon’tlivenearasourceoffreshones.

MAKES8BURGERS22ounces(1⅓pounds)groundchuck

6driedHatchchiles2whiteonions,chopped

3tablespoonsunsaltedbutter2shallots,diced2clovesgarlic,minced¼cupmolasses1(15-ouncecan)fire-roasteddicedtomatoes4tablespoonscidervinegar

1tablespoonbourbon1teaspoonkoshersalt,plusmoretoseason½teaspoonblackpepper,plusmoretoseason4potatorolls,split

1.Formtheburgerpattiesintoequal5½-ounceportions.

2. Place the chiles in a heatproof bowl and rehydrate with boiling water,coveringfor20minutes.Reservethesteepingliquid.

3.Caramelize theonionsovermedium-lowheatwhile thechiles steep,adding

watertodrawoutthesugars.

4.Heatthebutterovermediumheat.Addtheshallotsandcook5minutes,untilsoftandtranslucent.Addthegarlicandcookanotherminute.

5. Add the molasses, tomatoes, vinegar, bourbon, salt, and pepper. Stir tocombine.

6. Add 3 sections of the rehydrated chiles and 2 tablespoons of the steepingliquidtothesauce.

7.Bringtoaboil,reduceheattoasimmer,andcook10minutes.Puréewithafoodprocessororhandblenderandstrainthesaucethroughafinemeshstrainer.

8. Season the burgers with salt and pepper and griddle 2 minutes per side.Removetoawirerackandletrest4minutes.

9.ChoptheremainingHatchchilesandtosswiththecaramelizedonions.

10.Serve theburgerson thepotato rollswith thechile sauceand thechoppedonionsandchiles.

BEERPAIRING:MARZEN

OBATZDABURGERRECIPEBYDANIELSISTO

ObatzdaisamixtureofCamembert(thinkBrie),butter,onion,andhotpaprika.It’sasmooth,funkybeergardencheesedipfromGermanywithalittleheatthat’straditionallyservedwithpretzels,ryebread,orradishes.

MAKES4BURGERS8ouncesmatureCamembert,atroomtemperature3tablespoonsbutter,atroomtemperature,divided2tablespoonssweetonion,minced

4tablespoonsweissbier¼teaspoonsalt,plusmoretoseason¼teaspoonpepper,plusmoretoseason½teaspoonhotpaprikapowder¼teaspooncarawayseed

2tablespoonsDijonmustard1½poundsgroundbeef2onions,splitthroughtherootandslicedthin4pretzelbuns,split

1.TomaketheObatzda,combinetheCamembertand2tablespoonsbutterinablender or food processer and pulse until creamy. Add the minced onion,weissbier, salt, pepper, paprika, and caraway and pulse again until combined.Coverandrefrigerateuntilreadytoserve.

2.Sautétheslicedonionsin1tablespoonofbutterovermediumheatfor5to10minutes,untilgoldenbrown.

3.Removetheonionsandincreasetheheattomedium-high.

4.Formfour6-ouncepattiesandseasonwithsaltandpepper.Cook4minutesperside,untilmediumrare,thenremoveandletrestfor5minutes.

5.Spread theDijonover thebottomhalfof thebuns and topwith theonions.Topwiththeburgerpattiesand2tablespoonsoftheObatzda.

BEERPAIRING:HEFEWEIZEN

SPAMMUSUBI

Hawaii,despiteitsstatusastheforty-ninthUSstate,isreallyfarawayfromtherestofAmerica.JohnC. lived there briefly, and the one thing that’s immediately noticeable to new arrivals is theprevalenceofSpam,whichcameoverduringthemeat-strappedtimesofWWIIandwhichholdsalargeplaceinthecollectiveHawaiianheart.GlanceupataMcDonald’smenuontheBigIslandandyourhotcakesandbreakfastplattersarenowheretobefound,replacedbyspamplatters,burritos,andsandwiches.MADNESS.Buthey,theyliveinparadiseandwearflipflopstowork,sotheyclearlyknowafewthingsaboutlife.

Thisdish,whichshowsthedovetailingAmericanandJapaneseinfluencessorecognizableontheislands, isbasicallySpamsushi.Peoplewill thinkyou’recrazycreative(orregularcrazy),andyouwon’tnecessarilyhavetotellthemthateverydecentsnackshop,golfcourse,grocerystore,andgasstationfromWaimeatoPāhoaturnsoutdozensoffresh‘ono(delicious)musubieveryday.Preparetogothroughmorecannedluncheonmeatthanyoueverthoughtpossible.

MAKES2LARGEMUSUBIOR8NIGIRI-STYLEMUSUBI½cupwater½cupricevinegar1teaspoonsugar1teaspoonsalt

4cupscookedsushirice2sheetsnori,cutinto3-inch-widestrips4½-inches-thickslicesofSpam¼cuptamari¼cupmirin

1. Heat the water, rice vinegar, sugar, and salt in a saucepan, stirring untildissolved.Foldintothericewithawoodenpaddle.

2.Layamusubimold(orevenaSpamcanwithbothendscarefullyremoved)overasheetofthenori.

3.HeatgriddletomediumandcooktheSpamslices2minutesperside.

4.Mixthetamariandmirin,pourovertheSpam,andcook30secondsmoreperside.

5.Pack½cupsushiriceintoyourmusubimold.LayinasliceoftheSpam,thenpackinanother½cupmusubibeforepressingdown.

6.Carefullyremovethemoldandfoldthenorioverthesidesofthericeblock.Dampenafingerandslidedownthenoritoseal.Flipoverthemusubi,seamsidedown,andrepeat.

7.Serve immediatelyorwrap tightly inplasticwrap.They’regoodon thego,and they’re even good reheated in a gas stationmicrowave.Howmany otherfoodscansaythat?

BEERPAIRING:COCONUTPORTER

BUTWHATABOUTMYWIZ?!?Aselectandvocalsubsetofcheesesteakfandomprefersthecheeseontheirsteakstocomefoamyand from an Aqua Net can. In the interest of meeting those taste and texture points, we’vecreated the followingcompletelydeliciouscheddarsauce. It’spreferable tocheesewhiz, in thesameway thatahug froma friend ispreferable togetting stabbed in theneckbya rail-yardhobo.

MAKESABOUT2CUPSOFCHEESESAUCE8ouncesheavycream8ouncescheddar1teaspoonhotsauce¼teaspoonblackpepperHeattheheavycreamoverlowheat.Addthecheddargradually,whisking,andbringtoagentlesimmer.Letreduce,whiskingfrequently,untilit’suniformlythick,cheddary,andall-aroundkickass.Addthehotsauceandblackpepper,whiskvigorously,andladleoveryoursteaks.

BUTWHATABOUTMYWIZ?!?Oh fine, you big fucking baby. Please remit yourrequest in email form, including mailing address andthe reasoning behind your request, [email protected]. We’ll select ten “lucky”readersforacomplimentarycanofaerosolcheese-stuff,along with a handwritten note detailing our witheringcontempt.

mailto:[email protected]

ENDLESSQUESADILLASRECIPEBYDAVEKOOB

Onceyou’vemasteredthis(easy)recipe,you’llbeempoweredtomakeperfectquesadillasfortherestofyourlife.Teachittoasecondperson,whoteachesittosomeoneelse,andyou’vebeguntheprocessofcreatingendlessquesadillasfortheuniverse.Andhereyou’dthoughtyou’veneverdoneanythingwithyourlife.Also,itexplainsourweirdNeverEndingStoryofatitle.

Thebestwaytogetthecheesesforthisrecipeisinblockformfromyourdelisothatyoucangrateit.Don’tletthemsliceit.You’retheoneholdingthetinypapernumber,soyoumaketherules.

MAKES4QUESADILLAS1poundskirtsteak

1tablespoonpeanutoil1½tablespoonskoshersalt

1teaspoonblackpepper1poundhotpepperdelicheddar,grated½poundgarliccheddar,gratedBacongreaseorvegetableoil,forgriddling410-inchflourtortillas(tortillaswiththefewestamountofingredientsorlocalisyourbestbethere)1.Brushthesteakwiththepeanutoilandseasonwiththesaltandpepper.

2.Griddlethesteakoverhighheatfor90secondsperside.Alternately,ifyou’reoutside,grillingthesteakdirectlyonthecoalswillyieldawesomeresults.

3.Removetheskirtsteak,wraptightlyinfoil,andletrestfor5minutesbeforeslicingacrossthegraininto½-inchstrips.

4.Mixyourcheesesandbringyourgriddlebacktomediumheat.

5.Wipedownthegriddlewithyourbacongreaseoroilandapapertowel.

6.Placeonetortillaonthegriddleandadd6ouncesofthemixedcheesesoverthetortilla,leavinga¼-inchgaparoundtheperimeter.

7.Addaquarteroftheslicedskirtsteakandletcookopen-facedfor3minutes.

8. Fold the tortilla in halfwith a spatula and cook each side for an additionalminute,untiltortillabecomesgoldenbrown.

9. Remove from griddle, slice into quarters, and serve with your favoritecondiment.

BEERPAIRING:INDIAPALEALE

MEXICANTRUFFLEQUESADILLAS

Mexicantruffles.Cornsmut.Huitlacoche.Cuitlacoche.Cornmushrooms.Whateveryouwanttocallthefungusthatgrowsonearsofcorn,there’sonethingthat’scertain.It’sdelicious.Formanyofus,it’s a strange food, but inMexico it’s a delicacy. Since it canbe difficult to get fresh,webuy ourhuitlacoche in jars fromMexicoWe also recommend buying frozen because canned, it’s not verygood.

MAKES6QUESADILLAS

1tablespoonoliveoil½Vidaliaonion,chopped1clovegarlic,minced1serranopepper,seededandchopped112-ouncejarhuitlacoche½teaspoonsalt½teaspoonchilipowder½cupchoppedcilantro2to3cupsChihuahuacheese,shredded12tortillas(ifyoucanfindbluecorntortillas,getthem)Salsa,toserve

2avocados,sliced,toserveSourcream,toserve

1.Heat theoliveoilovermediumheatandsautéonionsuntil translucent.Addthegarlic,serrano,huitlacoche,salt,andchilipowder,andcookfor4minutes.

2.Preheatgriddletomediumhighheat.

3. Scoop ¼ cup huitlacoche mixture onto 1 tortilla, then top with cheese,cilantro,andanothertortilla.

4.Cookfor3to4minutespersideuntiltortillaisbrownandcheeseismelted.Servewithsalsa,avocadoslices,andsourcream.

BEERPAIRING:BELGIANTRIPEL

PANSPots and pans are the backbone of any kitchen. You probably boughtsomeshittyonesinyourtwentieswhenyouwerestonedandwatchinglatenightTV.Youmayhavebeengivenasetof thematyourweddingatacostapproachingyourmortgagepayment.

Sincefoodchannelsexistnow,therearehundredsofcompaniestryingtosellyoupotsandpansatvaryinglevelsofquality.Thisalmostalwaysleadstoquestions,andherearethemostimportantonesweget.

Whatare“clad”pans?

Clad pans feature a super-conductive metal sandwiched between twolayers of an easy-to-clean metal. Copper is awesomely conductive forinstance, but cleaning it is like polishing a hilariously large piece oftarnishedjewelry.Cladpansofferthebestofbothworlds.

Whydorecipestellmenottocooktomatoesinaluminum?

Theacidintomatoeswillcausethereactivealuminumtoimpartametallictaste.Thesamegoesforanyacidicfood.

Isstainlesssteelgood?

It’s fine—looks spiffy,doesn’t tarnish, anddoesn’t react toacidic foods(perfectforyourtomatogravy!).Thedrawbackisthatitisn’tparticularlygreatatconductingheat.

Idon’treallyneedatwelvepieceset,doI?

Noooope.We cookmost everything in one 12 inch clad skillet or a 5-quartDutchoven.

Whatisthistall,skinnypotfor?

Asparagus.You’lluse itonce, thennever thinkof itagainuntilyourunacrossitinacabinetyearsdownthelineandaskthesamequestion.

BUFFALOCAULIFLOWERDIP

Whilewe’remostlygladthathomecookshavecollectivelymovedpastthepost-WWIIyears(salmonandasparagusJello,anyone?),there’ssomethingtobesaidfordistillingtheflavorsofanentiredishintoaneasysharabledish.WeranacrossthisoneatsomehipsterCharleston(ormaybeNashville?)food fest, because we noticed the long line. They called it some-such-revamped-street-food-deconstructionorother,anditwaslegitimatelydelicious.Halfwaydowntheblock,werealizedthis“ourtakeon…”techniquewasactuallysomethingstraightfromMom’ssauce-stainedbinderlabeled“Entertaining.”Itwasafancifiedversionoftheclassic“WehavetohavetheHendersonsover,theyhad us over lastmonth” suburban dinner party food. You pay attention long enough, and you’llnoticethatcookingisreallyjustasnakeeatingitsowntail.BuyenougholdcookbooksatGoodwillandeventuallyyou’llseeintothefuture.

MAKES2CUPS¾cupcayennehotsauce(Frank’swouldbetraditional)1headcauliflower,grated

8ouncescreamcheese¾cupsourcream¼teaspoondriedparsley¼teaspoongarlicpowder¼teaspoondrieddill¼teaspoononionpowderPitachips,toserveCarrots,toserveCelery,toserve

1.Heat thehot sauce inapanovermediumheatandadd thecauliflower.Stiruntilheatedthrough.

2.Addthecreamcheeseandheatuntilcombined.

3. Add the sour cream and spices, bring to a simmer, and remove from heat.Serveimmediatelyorstorecoveredinaglassjar.Servewithcarrotsandceleryifyouwanttobecutesyaboutit,butpeopleprobablywantchipsbecausechipsareobjectivelybetterthanvegetables.

BEERPAIRING:MAIBOCK

CASTIRONAPPLECRUMBLE

Thisstupiddish...

Allowustoexplain.Sowegot called to catera rum-company-sponsoredpartyat oneof thosenewbar/arcades (we

refusetousetheword“barcade”)thateveryoneofacertaingenerationloves.Forsomereason,freetattooswereinvolvedintheplace’spromotion.Wethoughtthiswastheperfectdessertforthespreadweputout.Anditwas!Perfectlycaramelized,crispoatclusters,andarich,sweet,butterybackbone.

But itneededsomethingtofinish it.Somethingsmoothandcoolandthatusedthefreerumwehad.Andourvanilla-rumwhippedcreamwas excellent.Untilwe forgot to chill theCO2whippedcreamcanisteranditshothalf-formeddessertfoamontotheblackjeansofthisdipshitinavestwhowasprobablytoooldtobedressinglikea1990’smallpunk.Hepretendedtobemadandproceededtodemandfreetattoosorfreebeerfromus.IthinkweboughthimaPBRtoshuthimup.

Andthat,kids,ishowtheperfectdessertcanstillblowupinyourface.Wehopeyouhavebetterluckwithitthanwedid.It’sdeliciousifyoubewareofvestedmenseekingfreestuff.

MAKESONE9×9-INCHPAN1½poundsgoldendeliciousapples,sliced½cup(5ounces)canesugar2tablespoons(½ounce)tapiocastarch2½tablespoons(¾ounce)cornstarch2½teaspoons(½ounce)salt½teaspoonnutmeg,plus¾teaspoon½teaspooncinnamon,plus¾teaspoon

1tablespoonlemonjuice2tablespoonsbutter,melted¾cuplightbrownsugar½cupall-purposeflour½cuprolledoats⅓cupbutter,softened

1.Preheatovento375°F.

2. Toss the appleswith the sugar, tapioca starch, cornstarch, salt,½ teaspoonnutmeg,½teaspooncinnamon,lemonjuice,andmeltedbutterinalargemixingbowl.Setaside.

3. Mix the brown sugar, flour, rolled oats, and softened butter until evenlycoated.

4.Spreadtheapplemixtureevenlyintoagreased9×9-inchbakingpan,andtopwiththeoatmixtureandremainingnutmegandcinnamon.

5. Bake for 30minutes, until golden brown on top. Serve far, far away fromfreeloadingpeoplewhoaretoooldtobewearingskinnyblackjeans.Stayawayfromwhippedtoppings.

BEERPAIRING:BOCK

EUROZONEWAFFLES

You’llneedawafflepanorironforthis,sogetmarried.That’swhereeveryoneweknowpickeduptheirwaffle-relatedaccoutrements.

Whenyou’vemadethis,youcantopitwithanythingfrommaplesyruptoNashvilleHotChicken(page86).Magical.

MAKES8TO10WAFFLESAbout1½cups(6½ounces)unbleachedall-purposeflourAbout½cup(2ounces)cornstarch

1teaspoonbakingpowder½teaspoonbakingsoda½teaspoonsalt

2cupsbuttermilk⅔cupcoconutoil2eggs,beaten

3teaspoonsugar¾teaspoonvanillaWhippedbutter,toserveGradeBmaplesyrup,toserve1.Mixtheflour,cornstarch,bakingpowder,bakingsoda,andsaltinalargebowl.Addthebuttermilk,coconutoil,eggs,sugar,andvanilla.Beatwell,cover,andletsitinawarmareafor20minutes.

2. Dowhatever the untouched instructionmanual that camewith your waffleirontellsyou.Cookthemwafflesandpilethemlikeawhiskey-madlumberjackiscomingtobreakfast.

3. Servewithbutter and syrup. If you’rebold, tryFriedChicken (page85)orNashvilleHotChicken(page86)andsomepickles.

THEULTIMATEMEATBALLSUBRECIPEBYLUKEGELMAN

Forgetthin,oilymeatsthattasteonlyoftherefrigerator.Thetrueapexofthesubmarinesandwichart form is the gloriousmeatball sub. It’s not somuch that this is the true ultimatemeatball sub(thoughittotallyis),butthatthemeatballsubitselfistheultimatesandwich.Wesaluteyou,meatballsub,eventhoughyou’reasandwichandthusdon’trespondtoexternalstimuli.

Ifyouwantamoreold-schoolversion, justmakethemeatballsandslicesomefreshmozzarellaandtopwithourincrediblyeasyRedGravy(page299).

MAKES4SUBS1½poundsgroundbison1largeegg,beaten¾cupItalianbreadcrumbs1mediumwhiteonion,minced(about¾cup)6clovesgarlic,crushedandminced

1teaspoonchipotlepowder1½tablespoonWorcestershiresauce⅓cupflat-leafparsley,plus¾cup,chopped¼cupgratedParmesanorRomano

1teaspoonkoshersalt2teaspoonfreshcrackedblackpepper,divided6tablespoonsbutter(plus2tablespoons)1largeshallot,slicedintothinstrips8clovesofgarlic

1pintofcherrytomatoes10shiitakemushrooms,slicedintothinstrips1tablespoonbullionbase375mlMadierawine1teaspoonsalt1teaspoonfreshthyme1teaspoonfreshrosemary

3tablespoonsGorgonzola4subrolls,cuthalfwaythrough

1.Placethegroundbisoninalargemixingbowlandpressawellinthemiddle.Pour the beaten egg into the center, then add the bread crumbs, onion, garlic,chipotle,Worcestershire,⅓cupparsley,cheese,salt,andpepper.

2.Mixgentlywithyourhandsuntilallingredientsareevenlydistributed.Gentlyrollthemeatballsinto16golfball-sizedmeatballs.Ifyouhandlethemalotandcompressthemeat,they’llhavealesstenderandmoresausage-ishbitetothem.Yourpreference.Refrigeratethemfor30minuteswhileyouworkonthesauce.

3.Place thebutter ina largeskilletovermediumheat.Add theshallots,cook,stirring,for2minutes.Thenaddthegarlicandsautéforanotherminute.Addthetomatoes,mushrooms,bouillonbase,andremaining¾cupofparsley.Bringthemixturetoaboil,reducetheheattoasimmer,andcookfor15minutes.

4.Heatalargecast-ironskillettomediumheat.Addtheremainingbutterand8meatballs. Sear them in batches, turning every 60 to 90 seconds, until all thesideshaveanicebrowncrust.Whenallthemeatballsaredone,keeptheminawarmovenunderfoiluntilyoursauceisfinished.

5.Afterthesaucehasreducedandthetomatoeshavebeguntobreakdown,pourintheMadiera,returnthemixturetoasimmer,andletcookfor5minutes.

6.Addthesalt,pepper,thyme,androsemaryandcookanother5minutes.AddtheGorgonzolaandturntheheatdowntothelowestsetting,stirringconstantlyuntiltheGorgonzolameltsintothesauce.

7.Openyourhingedsubrollsandplace4meatballsineach.Topwiththesauceandenjoy.

BEERPAIRING:PILSNER

SWEETPLANTAINSRECIPEBYEFRAINCUEVAS

Mostpeople’sfirstintroductiontoplantainsisasabodega-purchasedchiporacrispyfriedsidedish.Thismoreoften thannot leads to the“it looks likeabananabut it’snot sweet!”comment.Life ishard.Confusethosepoorsoulsevenfurtherbyservingthesedelicious,richsweetplantains.They’regoodand(not)goodforyou.

Ripeplantainslooklikeripebananas,soifyou’vebeensuspectingyourgroceryofsellingHulk-sizedbananas,you’reprobablyinluck.Grabahandfulandgettofrying.

MAKES8SERVINGS¼cupunsaltedbutter3ripeplantains,peeledandcutinto½-inchdiagonalslices

Koshersalt

1.Meltthebutterinaheavyskilletovermedium-lowheat.

2.Addtheplantainslicesandshallow-fryfor3to4minutesperside,untilwellcaramelized.

3. Remove to a plate lined with paper towels or brown paper and saltimmediately.


TATANKOSRECIPEBYADAMPALMER

This is theperfectSouthwesternuseofourNativeAmericanFryBread (page99),apart fromjustopeningajarofhoneyandeating5,000caloriesworthofthem.

MAKES8TACOS2tablespoonspeanutoil2poundsgroundbison

4teaspoonschilipowder¼cupchoppedgreenchilis

1teaspooncayennepepper½tablespoonmincedgarlic

1teaspoonpaprika1fullcanbeer(bockorale)1½cupssalsa½tablespoonseasalt8piecesNativeAmericanFryBread(page99),toserveNewMexicoRedChiliSauce(page298),toserveNewMexicoGreenChileSauce(page297),toserve1.Heataskilletorcast-ironpanovermediumheatandaddtheoil.Brownthemeat,breakingup.

2. Transfer themeat to a large pot and add the chili powder, chiles, cayenne,garlic, paprika, beer, salsa, and sea salt. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat to asimmer,andcookfor40minutes,stirringoccasionally.

3. Serve the meat on the frybread and garnish with the red and green chilesauces.

BEERPAIRING:NUTBROWNALE

TAKOYAKI

These fried batter spheres from Japan are addictive. Plus, they’re a great way to get your daily,recommendedintakeofoctopusandbeer.

MAKES25PIECES

1tablespoonchilioil¼poundcookedoctopus,chopped¼cupbonitoflakes,plusmoretogarnish1cupall-purposeflour

2teaspoonsbakingpowder½teaspoonsalt2largeeggs

1teaspoonsoysauce1⅔cupsdashi½cupfinelychoppedgreenonion⅓cuppuffedricecereal¼cupmozzarellaJapanesemayonnaise,toserveTakoyakisauce,toserve

Aonori

1.Pourthechilioiloverthechoppedoctopusandmix.Letitsitinthefridgeforabout15minutes.

2. Grind your bonito flakes into a fine powder. Although the bags of bonitoflakesmaylookbigandpacked,whenthey’regroundtheyrenderasurprisinglysmallamount.Annoyingsecret!

3.Inalargebowl,addallofyourdryingredientsandmixtogether.

4.Inamediumbowl,useawhisktomixyoureggsandsoysaucetogether.

5.Addeggmixturetothedryingredients,andthenslowlyadddashistockwhilewhiskingtheingredientstogether.Pouryouringredientsintoalargemeasuringcuporsomethingwithahandleandalip.

6.Heatyourtakoyakipan(oranebelskiverpan,likewedid)overmediumheatand coat evenlywith a highmelting point oil.When the oil begins to smoke,pourinenoughbattertofilltothelineofthepan.

7.Drop the octopus into the batter and sprinkle green onion, puffed rice, andmozzarellaintoeach.

8.Cookforabout1½minutes.Usingthesharpendofaskewer,trytoturntheball90degrees.Ifthey’renotturningeasily,letitcookabitlongerandthentrygivingitanother90degreeturn.Astheballsarebeingcooked,theywillbecomeeasiertoturn.Youwantthemtohaveanevenshapeandalightbrowncolor.

9.Cookforabout10minutestotal,thenservewithbonitoflakes,takoyakisauce,Aonori,andageneroussqueezeofJapanesemayo.

BEERPAIRING:JAPANESEPILSNER

OFFSEASONELOTESRECIPEBYLUKEGELMAN

Weloveelotes—somuchsothatourfirstbookfeaturedthem(avegetable!)onthecover.Buteveninthe Midwest, corn isn’t available year-round, and we’ll be damned if we’re trekking outside inFebruarytogrillcrappypackagedcorninasadimitationofoursummerritual.Sowe’vecreatedanoff-seasonversionthatfeaturesallthetraditionalflavors.

MAKES12SIDE-DISHSERVINGS2tablespoonscornoil1poundfrozencorn2tablespoonsbutter

2teaspoonssaltOnesmalljalapeño,minced(about1tablespoon)

3tablespoonslimejuice2tablespoonsMexicancrema(or,failingthat,sourcream)2tablespoonsTajínseasoning

3ouncesquesofresco½bunchcilantro,chopped

1.Heatalargecast-ironskilletovermediumheat.Addthecornoilandspreaditaroundasthepanheatsup.

2.Addthecorntothepan.(Didyoudefrostitfirst?Ifnot,nobigdeal.Stir2to3minutesuntilit’sdefrosted.)Addthebutter,salt,andmincedjalapeño.

3.Cook2minutes,thenaddthecrema.Don’ttrytobrownthecorn,frythecorn,ordoanythingbutgentlyheatitandbringtheflavorstogether.

4.Gentlyfoldinthecremaorsourcream,removefromheat,andstirinthelimejuice.

5.SprinklehalftheTajínoverthetop,addthequeso,thensprinkletherestoftheTajín.Garnishwiththecilantroandyou’regoodtoserve.

BEERPAIRING:MEXICANLAGER

FURNITURESTOREMEATBALLSANDSWEDENSAUCE

Ifyou’regoing tobuyacouch thatwobbles,youmightaswell fillupondeliciousmeatballswhileyou’reatit.Butwhatifyoucouldjustdoitathome?Youdon’tneedfurniture.Justsitonthefloororeatoverthesink.It’sminimalist.

MAKES24MEATBALLS2cupspotatoes,boiled,peeled,andgrated½poundgroundbeef½poundgroundpork1egg,beaten¾cupwholemilk2tablespoonsonion,grated1tablespoonkoshersalt,plusmoretotaste1½teaspoonblackpepper,plusmoretotasteOliveoil,tosauté

⅓cupheavycream⅔cupchickenstock2teaspoonssoysauce

1tablespoonflourLingonberryjam,toserve

1.Mixthepotato,beef,pork,egg,milk,onion,salt,and1teaspoonpepper.

2. Form into 24 equal balls, line up on a baking sheet, and chill in therefrigeratorfor45minutes.

3.Heattheoilinalarge,widepanovermediumlowandaddthemeatballs.

4.Cook,turningfrequently,for12minutes,untilcookedto165°F.

5.Mixthecream,stock,soysauce,andremainingpepperinamediumsaucepanovermediumheat.Bringtoaboil,reducetheheattoasimmer,andwhiskintheflour.Tasteforseasoning,removefromheat,andservewithmeatballsandjam.

BEERPAIRING:OATMEALSTOUT

FRYERThedeepfryerhaslongbeenasymbolofAmerican(sayitwithaFrenchaccent for maximum snooty disdain) excess and our unhealthy modernlifestyles.Thiswouldbefairifa)theColonistsandnotearlyhumanshadinventedimmersivecookinginanimalfat,andb)weignorethefactthatmostofussitsedentaryfor8-plushoursadaylikesentientofficeplants.Don’tblameAmericafordeepfrying,anddon’tblamethedeepfryerforanything. It just wants to make you happy. Imagine doing your job,servingmillions of happy customers, only to come home, relax, flip onNet-flix,andsee398recommendeddocumentariesabouthowyou’rethedevil.

Despite some truly horrifying re-enactments on the old WilliamShatner show Rescue 911, deep frying isn’t dangerous at home unlessyou’recareless(leavingthecordhanging)orkindofanidiot(fillingittothebrim,throwinginsomeicetotestthetemperature).

Ifyoudon’thave,orwouldnotliketohaveadeepfryer,thenthisisallcompletelydoablewithaheavypot,areliableoilthermometerortwo,and the understanding that you’ll have to adjust the burner yourself tokeepthetemperatureonpoint.

When you’re done making delicious food, kill the heat and leteverything chill until the oil is cool enough to handle without risk ofmelting plastic or skin. If you plan to use it again, filter it through finemeshintoacontainer,sealit,andstoreitinacool,darkplace.

Thankstomuchsmarterpeoplethanus(namelytheCulinaryInstituteofAmerica,theteamatModernistCuisine,andSeriousEats.com)alreadyhavingdonethework,wecanprovideyouthisreliablechartofhowlongvariousoils take toheat.Onceoil starts smoking, itbegins to turnacridandproduceharmfulbyproducts.Soavoidthat.

http://SeriousEats.com

SCOTCHEGGS

Scotcheggshavegottenabumrapstateside.Firstignored,then“reclaimed”and“reinterpreted”byshitty,expensivegastropubs.Won’tyouprovidealovinghometothiswonderfuldishtoday?

MAKES4EGGS6largeeggs,2beaten⅔poundgroundpork⅓poundspicyporkchorizo2teaspoonsground,roastedarbolchiles1teaspoongroundanchochile1teaspooncinnamon

1teaspoonhotHungarianpaprika1¼cupsbreadcrumbs2cupsall-purposeflourOil,forfrying

1. Place4 eggs in a small saucepan; add coldwater to cover.Bring to a boil.Removefromheat,cover,andletstandfor3minutes.Carefullydrain,thenfillpanwith icewater to cool eggs.Gently crack shells and carefully peel undercold runningwater. Place eggs in a bowl of coldwater; cover and chill untilcold.

2. Place ground pork in a large bowl, add chorizo, ground chiles, cinnamon,paprika, and ¼ of the bread crumbs and mix evenly. Divide into 4 equalportions.

3. You’ll need 3 more shallow bowls. Place flour in one, bread crumbs inanother,and2beateneggsinanother.

4.Startbyflouringyourhands.Pat1portionofsausageintoathinpattyoverthelengthofyourpalm.Lay1soft-boiledeggontopofsausageandwrapsausageevenly around egg, sealing to completely enclose. Repeat with remainingsausageandeggs.

5.Rollthemeat-coveredeggintheflour,makingsuretodustevenly,andthen

shake off any excess. Coat your dusted egg in the eggwash, then roll in thebreadcrumbs.

6. Heat oil to 350°F. Fry eggs, turning occasionally and maintaining oiltemperature of 325 to 350°F, until sausage is cooked through and breading isgoldenbrownandcrisp,5to6minutes.Useaslottedspoontotransfereggstopapertowelstodrain.

BEERPAIRING:LAGER

SCHOTCHEGGSVARIATIONSSukotchieggu (Asian Scotch Eggs): This recipe iswhat happens when an evicted Chinese restaurantleaves a secret, ancient curse and some leftoveringredients for the ironic hipster bar taking its place.Foryour sausagebase, evenlymix1poundofgroundporkwith4 tablespoonsof soy sauce,1 tablespoonoffive-spice powder, and½ tablespoon groundmustard.Finelycrush⅓cupofwasabipeasandmixwith⅔cupofpanko,usemixture to replace thebreadcrumbs.Foran easy dipping sauce that really compliments theflavors in the Scotch egg, combine some Japanesemayo and hoisin sauce. The sauce should be 2 partshoisintoonepartmayo.

BEERPAIRING:JAPANESEWHEATALE

CurryScotchEgg: Every so often a sober brain actsstoned and a recipe like this is born. In a large bowl,evenly mix 1 pound of ground pork, 1 tablespoonturmeric, 1 tablespoon curry, and 1 teaspoon freshgroundblackpepper.Stickwith1¼cupsbreadcrumbs.Foraneasydippingsauce;combinethepulpof1largemango,¼ cup of honey, and the juice of 1 lime in afoodprocessor.


BOUDINBALLS

When travelling throughLouisianayou’ll seeboudinballs at gas stationsandrestaurants thataredevotedtothem.Don’tbedismayedbytheuseofporkliverinthisdish;itaddsaslightearthinessbutisnotoverpowering.Thispopulartreat istypicallyservedwithCreolemustardandremouladebutwesuggesttryingitwithourHoneySrirachaMayo(page285)andPorterBeerMustard(page294).

MAKES20BALLS1poundporkshouldersteak,cutinto1-inchcubes¼poundporkliver,cutinto1-inchcubes½cuponion,diced

1poblanopepper,seededanddiced2jalapeños,seededanddiced¼cupcelery,diced1clovegarlic,chopped2tablespoonssalt1tablespoonpepper2teaspoonschilipowder

2teaspoonscayennepepper½cupchoppedgreenonion½cupfinelychoppedparsley

2cupscookedwhiterice2eggs,beaten

1cupflour

1.Startthenightbefore.Inastockpot,mixmeat,onion,peppers,celery,garlic,salt, pepper, 1 teaspoon chili powder, and 1 teaspoon cayenne. Pour water tocovermeatandsimmer30minutes.

2.Strain themeat,pepper, andonionsand reserve liquid.Rinse themeatwith

coldwater.

3.Coarselygrindthemeat,peppers,andonion.Placeina largebowl.Addthegreen onions, parsley, and cooked rice to mixture. Slowly mix in 1¼ cupsreservedliquid.

4.Coverandchillovernight.

5.Preheatoilto350°.

6.Mix1teaspooncayenneand1teaspoonchilipowderwithpanko.Placeeggsandflourinseparatebowls.

7.Formthemeatandricemixtureintotwenty2-inchballs,dredgeinflour,dipin eggs, and cover in panko. Fry 4 to 5minutes until golden brown.Removewithaslittenspoonandcool2minutes.

BEERPAIRING:VIENNALAGER

THEMEPARKCHURROS

Themeparksareman-sizedhamstermazesdesignedtoseparateyoufromyourmoney.Thesteadfastamongyoucanresistpurchasingtheelevendollarbeer,thefortydollart-shirt,andthebullshitskip-the-linepass.Butnonecanresistthesirencallofthechurro.It’s95degrees,youhateeveryone,andyoujustsawakidturngreenontheteacups.Butevenwithallthat,apiping-hotchurrostraightoutofthefryersmellslikemannafromheaven.Soenjoyourversion.It’ssomucheasier.

MAKES12CHURROS6tablespoonsunsaltedbutter1teaspoonkoshersalt1teaspoonvanillaextract

1stickcinnamon2¼cupswater2¼cupsflour2eggs2cupsbrownsugar

1tablespoongroundcinnamonCanolaoil,forfrying

1. In a medium saucepan, bring the butter, salt, vanilla, cinnamon stick, andwatertoaboilovermediumheat.

2.Removethecinnamonstickandgraduallyaddtheflour,whiskingconstantly,untilthelumpsdisappearandasmoothdoughforms.Removefromheat,transfertoabowl,andletcool.

3.Whenthedoughhascooledenoughtonotcookthem,whiskintheeggsoneatatimeandstiruntilthedoughissmooth.Donoteatthedough.

You’reeatingthedough,aren’tyou?

4.Fillapipingbagwithdoughandfititwithastartip.

5.Combinethesugarandcinnamoninabrownpaperbagandhaveitreadyto

finishthechurroswhentheycomeoutofthefryer.

6.Bring thecanolaoil to400°F.Working inbatches,carefullypipe thedoughintotheoilin6-inchlengths.Becarefulnottoovercrowdthefryer.

7. Fry until the churros turn golden brown, about 2 minutes, then carefullyremovewithtongsanddropintothepaperbag.Shakeuntilevenlycoated.

8. Serve to your guests before trying to sell them nine dollar rain ponchos.Cacklemalevolently.

BEERPAIRING:OATMEALSTOUT

TOSTONES

Great tostoneswillmakeyoumad thatyouhaven’tbeeneatingplantainsyourentire life.Luckily,greattostonesareeasytomakeathome.Youcandoit.You’regoingtodoit.Getexcited—howoftencanyoumastersomethingsoworthwhilein15minutesorless?PreparetobecomeKingofPlantains,which is an awesome title to have, even though the Plantain Parliament does most of the realgovernancethesedays.

MAKES4SIDESERVINGS2greenplantains,peeledandcutdiagonallyinto1-inch-thickchunksPeanutorvegetableoil,tofry

Seasalt½teaspoongarlicpowderChimichurri(page284),toserveGratedfreshParmesan,toserve

1.Heatoilto325°Fandpreparealargebowloficewater.

2. Add the plantain slices in batches and fry 2minutes per side, until goldenbrown.

3.Removeandplaceonaparchmentorpapertowel-linedcookiesheet.

4.Placeaspatulaontopofoneoftheplantainsandsmackitwithyourhandtopressitto½inchthickness.Repeatwiththerestofthem.Don’ttrytodomorethanoneatatime,oryou’llendupwithhalf-assed,sorta-smashedplantainsthatfallapart.

5.Droptheplantainsintothewaterandletthemsoakfor60seconds.We’dsay1minute,butwewantyou tocountouteach individual second.Keep them inanylongerandthey’llbegintodisintegrate.Removeandcarefullypatdry.

6.Fry the smashed, soakedplantains in theoil (returned to325°F) for2moreminutes per side, until puffed up and golden brown.Remove to paper towels,newspaper,orpaperbags.

7.Seasonthetostoneswithsaltandgarlicpowderwhilethey’repipinghotfromthefryer,thengrateParmesanovertopandaddchimichurri.Eattoyourheart’scontent,becausethey’renogoodasleftovers.

BEERPAIRING:LAGER

REDSAUCECALAMARI

You’reusedtohavingcalamariservedtoyoubyanindifferentwaitressattheredsauceplaceinyourtown,butpeoplefromSouthAfricatotheMiddleEastswearbythistastyfriedsquid.Whenmadewell, it’s a multi-tentacled work of art. When made not-so-well, it’s still pretty delicious. Startpracticingtodayandbecomethepreeminentfriedsquidartistinyourzipcode.

MAKES4SERVINGS2poundsmixedtinysquidandthinlyslicedtentacles

1cupbuttermilk1tablespoonkoshersalt,plusmoretotaste

2teaspoonblackpepper1½cupsunbleachedall-purposeflourPeanutoil,tofry1lemon,slicedintowedges,toserveRedGravy(page299),toserve

1.Placethesquidinasnugcontainerandpouroverthebuttermilk.Letsitforatleast30minutes.

2.Heatoilto375°F.

3.Mixthesalt,pepper,andflourinalargebowl.

4.Addthesquidtotheflourandtosstocoatthoroughly.

5.Whenoilisready,removesquidfromtheflourmixtureandshakeoffexcess.

6.Frythesquidfor30seconds.(Seriously.Mostofthecalamariyouhaveanddon’tlikeiscookedtoolong.Squidturnstoughandrubberband-ishincrediblyquickly.)

7. Remove, season with salt, and serve with lemon wedges and warm Red

Gravy.

BEERPAIRING:SESSIONIPA

FRIEDGIARDINIERA

ThisisatrickwelearnedfromChicagohotdoglegendDougSohninthesunsetdaysofhisencasedmeatsempire.Andforthat,we’llforeverbegrateful.ThespicytangoftheGiardinieracutsthroughthefriedrichnesslike1980’sChuckNorristhroughtheenemiesoffreedom.It’smadeuscompletelyre-evaluatehowwillingwearetofrycondiments.You’renext,baconjam.

MAKES4SIDESERVINGS2cupsSuper16-BitGiardiniera(page281)1cupunbleachedall-purposeflour

1tablespoonkoshersaltPeanutoil,tofry

1.Drain the giardiniera in a colander over a stack of paper towels or grocerybags(youdon’twanttheoilinyourpipes,andyourlandlordcertainlydoesn’t).Letsitfor15minutes,shakingfrequently,until theexcessoilhasdrainedontothepaper.Discardthepaper.

2.Heatoilto350°F.

3.Mixtheflourandsalt inamediumbowl.Addthegiardiniera,shaketocoatthoroughly,andremove,shakingoffexcess.

4. Fry giardiniera in batches, turning frequently, until golden brown, 3 to 5minutes.

BEERPAIRING:KOLSCH

THEPLOW&HAGFISHANDCHIPS

British pubs always have the greatest names. Just place any two everyday people, items, oroccurrences together.This is thehorriblenameofour fantasypubwithawesome foodandanoff-putting sign. Rejected names included the Rifle & Fishwife, the Dog & Butler, and the Toilet &Thatcher.

Almostasgreatastheoddlynamedpubisthetraditionofwhitefishandchipsstraightfromthefryerwithashakerofmaltvinegarontheside.We’reproudtobeAmericans,butthisismaybethemost perfect bar dish in the entire world. A lot of places pride themselves on secret beer batterspasseddownthrough thegenerations,but sodawateractuallygivesyou thecarbonationyouneed.Useabeerifyoulike,butyouwon’ttasteitinthefinalresult.

Traditionally, this was a dish you could get wrapped in day-old newspaper. But UK healthregulationsnolongerallowthat.Soundslikesomeoneneedsalittlefreedom.

MAKES2BASKETSOFCHIPS2½poundsrussetpotatoes,peeledandcutintothewide,flatchips(about4inches×½inch)andplacedintocoldwater

1cupunbleachedall-purposeflour,plus1cuptodredge1¼teaspoonsbakingsoda

1tablespoonlemonjuice1tablespoonkoshersalt,plusmoreforthechips1teaspoonblackpepper1cupsodawater

4codorhaddockfiletsMaltvinegar,toserveLemonwedges,toserve

1.Heatoilto325°Fandovento250°F.Removethechipsfromthewater,shakeoff excess, and carefully lower into the oil. Fry gently for 3 minutes, untilpoachedbutnotbrownorfried.Thisisjustyourfirstgo-round.Relax.Removetoawirerackinasinglelayerandletcool.

2.Whisk1cupofflour,bakingsoda,lemonjuice,salt,andpeppertogetherinalargebowl.

3.Slowlywhiskinthesodawateruntilitformsaconsistent,thickbatterwithoutlumps.

4. Pat the fish filets dry and dredge thoroughly in the cup of flour. Shake offexcessandcoatwiththebatter.

5. Slowly lower the filets into the hot oil one at a time, holding each for 10secondsorsoastheydescendintotheoilsoitdoesn’thitthebottomofthefryerorpanandsticktothevessel.

6.Fryfor8to10minutes,untilbrownedandcookedthrough,andremovetoawirerackintheoven.

7.Whenthefiletsarefried,turntheovenupto375°F.Linealargebowlwithacoupleofpapertowelsandkeepthesaltcloseathand.

8.Fryyourchipsanother3to4minutes,untilcrispyandgoldenbrown.

9.Removethechipsfromtheoil,shakingoffexcess,intothebowl.Seasonthefries,thenpullaHoudinionthepapertowelstogivethemanevencoating.

10.Lineaplateorbasketwith somenewspaper (GODSAVETHEQUEEN!)and serve the fried filets on top of the chips. Servewithmalt vinegar, lemonwedges,and,ifyou’reBritish,someniceroom-temperaturebeer.

BEERPAIRING:PINTOFBITTER,LUV!(ESB)

SEAFOODEMPANADA

Imagineyourself sittingona cliff overlooking theAtlanticOcean inArgentina.You’dhavea coldbeerinonehand,anempanadaintheother.Feeltheseabreezeandthewarmthofthesunonyourface.Feelsgreat,doesn’tit?Ofcourse,thisisonlyyourimagination,backtorealityofbills,family,acarthatkeepsbreakingdown,andalawnthatneedsmowed.Thisdishisyourvacation.

MAKES20EMPANADAS

2tablespoonsbutter1mediumyellowonion,diced1clovegarlic,chopped

2cupsshrimp¾cuplumpcrabmeat½poundsmallscallops½teaspoonsmokedpaprika½teaspooncumin1heirloomtomato,choppedOil,forfrying1batchEmpanadaDough(page76)2tablespoonscilantro,chopped1.Inasaucepan,sautéonionsinbutter.Addthegarlic,cookforaminuteuntilfragrant,thenaddshrimp,crab,andscallopswithpaprika,cumin,andtomatofor5minutes.Removefromheatandmixinthecilantro.

2.Preheatoilto350°F.

3.Drainexcessliquidfromseafoodmixture.

4.Workinginbatches,rolloutdoughonlightlyflouredsurfaceandcutinto4-to5-inchdisks.Place3tablespoonsoffillinginthecenterofeachdisk,thenfoldoverandsealwithafork.

5.Fryempanadasfor3minutesoruntildarkgoldenbrown.Removeandservewithchimichurri.

BEERPAIRING:SAISON

CHICKENEMPANADAS

We’veallbeen there.Wecookeda chickenand stillhavehalf of the thing left over.Sureyou canmaketacoswithit,orasoup.Boring!Youdoknowthatfryingiswaycoolerthansoup,right?Shredthatchicken,wrapdeliciousdougharoundit,andmakeadamnempanadawiththoseleftovers.

MAKES15TO20EMPANADAS1smallonion,chopped1clovegarlic1tablespoonbutter2cupsshreddedchickenthighs

3tablespoonssourcream½teaspoonchipotlechilipowder¼teaspoonsalt½teaspooncumin½12oz.cangreenchili,chopped1½teaspoonsfreshoregano,chopped

1cupshreddedChihuahuacheeseOil,forfrying1batchEmpanadaDough(page76)1.Inasaucepan,sautéonionandgarlicinbutteruntiltranslucent.Addshreddedchicken,sourcream,chilipowder,salt,cumin,andheatthroughfor6minutes.Takeoffheat,thenaddgreenchiliandoregano.Oncechickeniscool,combinewithcheeseinalargebowl.


3.Workinginbatches,rolloutempanadadoughandcutinto5-inchcircles.Filleachonewith3tablespoonsoffilling,foldover,andsealusingafork.

4.Fryfor3minutesandserve.

BEERPAIRING:BELGIANSAISON

HAWAIIANEMPANADA

It’sanempanadafilledwithham,pineapple,andcheese.Inaway,it’salotliketheHawaiianpizzayouenjoyedasakid,exceptyougettoeattwentyofthem.

MAKES20EMPANADASOiltofry

3cupsshreddedmozzarellacheese2cupsham,chopped2cupspineapple,chopped1batchEmpanadaDough(page76),cold

Chimihurri1.Preheatoilto350°F.

2.Mixtogetherthecheese,ham,andpineappleinalargebowl.

3.Working in batches, roll out the doughon a lightly floured surface and cutinto4-to5-inchdisks.Place3 tablespoonsoffillingin thecenterofeachdisk,thenfoldoverandsealwithafork.

4. Fry the empanadas for 3minutes or until dark golden brown.Remove andservewithchimichurri.

BEERPAIRING:AMERICANBLONDEALE

’MERICAEMPANADAS

Inspiredby the greatAmericandessert of apple pie, these empanadas are a sweetway to finish ameal. Tart Granny Smith apples surrounded by a sweet peanut butter sauce that will have youscreaminglikeaneagle.

MAKES15TO20EMPANADAS½cupunsaltedbutter,divided½cupdarkbrownsugar,divided4GrannySmithapples,peeledandcutintobitesizepieces

1cuppeanutbutter½teaspoonsalt½cupheavycream

Oilforfrying1batchEmpanadaDough(page76)1.Melt¼cupbutterand1tablespoonbrownsugarovermediumheat;addapples.Cover,stirringeveryminute,untilapplesaretender,about12to14minutes.Removefrombutterwithslottedspoonandplaceinabowl.Coverthebowlandallowtocool.

2.Inasaucepanoverlowheat,placethepeanutbutter,¼cupbutter,remainderof the brown sugar, and salt. Stir to combine.Remove fromheat and add thecream.Mixuntilsmooth,thenaddtheapplesandcool.


4.Making4to5empanadasatatime,rollthedoughonalightlyflouredsurfaceandcutinto4-to5-inchcircles.Place3tablespoonsoffillinginthecenter,thenfoldoverandsealwithafork.

5.Fryempanadasfor3minutesoruntildarkgoldenbrown.Removeandserve.

BEERPAIRING:FUCKIT,IT’SAMERICA.EATITWITHABOURBON.

SWEETPOTATOEMPANADAS

Likepotatoes,butsweet.Sorry,wedon’thavegoodstoriesforalltheempanadas.

MAKES15TO20EMPANADAS1cuponion,chopped2clovesgarlic,minced

1tablespoonbutter2cupscheddar,shredded3cupssweetpotatoes,steamedanddiced

1teaspoonchilipowder1½teaspoonscumin1batchEmpanadaDough,cold(page76)Oil,forfrying

1. In a souce pan, sauté onions and garlic in butter in a saucepan untiltranslucent.

2.Inabowl,mixtogethercheddarandpotatoesandspices,thenmixinsautéedonionsandgarlic.


4.Making4to5empanadasatatime,rollthedoughonlightlyflouredsurfaceandcutinto4-to5-inchcircles.Place3tablespoonsoffillinginthecenter,thenfoldoverandsealwithafork.

5.Fryempanadasfor3minutesoruntildarkgoldenbrown.Removeandletoildrainoffbeforeeating.Servewithchimichurri.

BEERPAIRING:SESSIONSOUR

FRIEDRAVIOLI

ThisisadishbelovedinSt.Louisthatthegeneralpublicmostlyfindsmystifying.Which,tobefair,istheunfairknockona lotof thecity’s food.Butprovidedyou’renotmakingyourownpasta fromscratchandthenthrowingitintoadeepfryer(becausewhy?),thisisanicelittlechangeofpaceandahellofabarsnack.TheCardinalsstillsuck,however,andtheirpleated-khakifansareonlyslightlybetter.

Onemightpairthiswithmarinara,butwereallydigitwithourspicy,cheesy,richvodkasauce.

MAKES4SERVINGS2eggs,beaten½cupwholemilkAll-purposeflour,todustItalianbreadcrumbs,todredge

24frozencheeseravioliOil,forfryingGratedParmesan,toserveChoppedflat-leafparsley,toserveWarmRedGravy(page299)orVodkaSauce(page300),toserve1.Mixthebeateneggswiththemilkandplaceinashallowdish.

2.Layouttheflour,egg/milkmixture,andbreadcrumbs,inthatorderinseperatebowls.

3.Heatyouroilto350°F.

4. Coat the ravioli in the flour (shaking off excess), egg mixture (ditto), andbreadcrumbs(andathirdtime).

5.Frytheravioliinbatchesfor1½minutes,untilgoldenbrown.

6.Removetoawirerackastheyfinish.GarnishwithParmesanandparsleyandservewithRedGravyorVodkaSauce.

BEERPAIRING:BERLINERWEISSE

FRIEDCHICKEN

Fryingchickenisthemostusefulofalltechniques.Ifyoucanmakemoist,crispfriedchicken,we’reconfidentinpredictingthatyoucanfryorcookmostanythinggivenacrackortwoatit.Andifyoucan’teatallofthechicken(wehaven’tyetmappedtheboundariesofourconsumptionability),itgoesintoanythingandeverythingelse.It’sevengoodeatencoldatagraveyardwithadomesticlager,asJohnC.’s Southern familywaswont to do on Sundays. Thiswas before cable had quite somanychannels,andwaybeforeNashvillehadafootballteam.

MAKES8PIECES1chicken,cutinto8pieces4cupsbuttermilk(orpicklebrine)2cupsunbleachedall-purposeflour2tablespoonskoshersalt

2teaspoonsblackpepperOil,forfrying4eggs,beaten

1cupwholemilkHotsauce,toserveButtermilkbiscuitsorrolls,toserve1.Placethechickenpiecesintoasnug-fittingcontainer.Pourthebuttermilkorpicklebrineoverandletsit2hours,uptoovernight.

2.Mixtheflour,saltandpepper.Dividebetweentwoshallowdishes.Addafewtablespoonsofbuttermilktotheflour.

3.Heatoilto325°F.

4.Removethechickenfromthebuttermilkorbrine,patdry,anddredgeinflourmixture,shakingoffexcess.

5.Coat the chicken in the eggmixture, shakingoff excessover the remainingdishofflour.

6.Coatthechickeninflourandlowerintothefryer.Fryinbatchesfor12to14minutes,untiladigitalthermometerreads160°F.Removetoawirerack.

7.Servewithhotsauceandrollsorbiscuits.

BEERPAIRING:DOUBLEIPA

NASHVILLEHOTCHICKEN

Ifwe’dwrittenthisbookayearortwoago,we’dbetalkingabouthowNashvillehotchickenwasanobscurelocalfavoritewecan’tgetenoughof.Apopulationinfluxandwidespreadacclaimforlocaljoints includingPrince’sandHattieB’smeansthat it’s lessofasecret localfavoriteandmoreofagenuineSouthernfoodphenomenon.

EveryplaceguardstheirrecipeliketheoriginalCoca-Colaformula,butnosecretsaresafefromManBQue.Andwe’redamnedsurethatourshotatthisSouthernclassicislegit.

If you’re looking for a super-spicy kick, add additional ¼ teaspoon of cyanne or even ghostpowdertothefinishingsauceuntilyoumeltlikeoneoftheNazisinRaidersoftheLostArk.

MAKES8PIECES1chicken,cutinto8pieces4cupsbuttermilk,divided1cuphotsauce,divided2cupsunbleachedall-purposeflour2tablespoonskoshersalt

2teaspoonsblackpepper2teaspoonscayennepepper,plus1tablespoon4eggs,beaten

1cupwholemilkOil,forfrying

3tablespoonsbrownsugar4sliceswhitebread,toserveButtermilkbiscuits,toserveSourpickles,toserve

1.Placethechickenpiecesintoasnug-fittingcontainer.Mixthebuttermilkwith

½cupofthehotsauceandletsitatleast2hours,uptoovernight.

2. Mix the flour, salt, pepper, and 2 teaspoons cayenne. Divide between twoshallowdishes.Addacoupleoftablespoonsofbuttermilktotheflour.

3.Mixtheeggswiththemilkand¼cupofthehotsauce.


5.Remove thechickenfromthebuttermilk/brine,patdry,anddredge in flour,shakingoffexcess.

6.Coat the chicken in the eggmixture, shakingoff excessover the remainingdishofflour.

7.Coatthechickeninflourandlowerintothefryer.Fryinbatchesfor12to14minutes,untiladigitalthermometerreads155°F.Removetoawirerack.

8.Ladle½cupofthehotoilintoaskilletovermediumheat.Whenitbeginstoshimmer,addthe2tablespoonsofcayenne,2tablespoonsofhotsauce,andthebrownsugar.Stirtocombine.

9. Finish the chicken in the sauce and serve immediately with white bread,biscuits,andsourpickles.

BEERPAIRING:DOUBLEIPA

TRIPLE-PEACHFRIEDPIES

Youknowthosehandpiesyouseeineverydrug,grocery,andconveniencestorethatareasdeliciousastheyarebadforyou?PeoplestillmakethemfromscatchintheSouth.Thisisactuallypartofthecitizenshiptestincertainpartsofthecountry.Weusedthreetypesofpeachestoachievemaximumpeachiness.

Whilewedoappreciatetheironyofsayingthisina“FryYourOwnPie”recipe,werecommendstartingwithsomepre-madepiedough.Goodlord,doesitsavesomehassle.

MAKES12PIES1tablespoonunsaltedbutter1cupdicedpeaches

3tablespoonsugar¼cuppeachpreserves½teaspooncayennepepper2teaspooncornstarch1tablespoonpeachschnapps

1teaspooncinnamon1portionofpiedough,rolledoutintoa16×11-inchsheet(orequivalentsurfacearea),refrigeratedVegetableoil,tofry(orlard,ifyou’refeelingawesome)1.Meltthebutterovermedium-highheatinasaucepanandsautéthepeachesandsugarfor2minutes,stirringregularlyuntilthesugardissolves.Addthepreserves,cayenne,cornstarch,schnapps,andcinnamonandcookforanother2minutes.Removefromheat.

2. Cut the dough into 3½-inch diameter circles and place 2 teaspoons of thepeachfillingontothecenterofthedough.Foldover,pinchclosed,andsetonaplate.Repeatwiththeremainingdoughandrefrigeratefor30minutes.

3.Heatyouroil(orlard,comeon,trylard,youneverdoanythingfun)to350°F.Frypiesinsmallbatchesfor1½to2minutesper,turningfrequently.Removetoarackoftowel-linedplatetodry.


AMERICA’SFAVORITEVEGETABLE

French fries, owing to some spectacularly dumb USDA classification standards, are officiallyAmerica’s favorite vegetable. This leads people to question why they should bother taking theirprecioustimeathometomakesomethingsoubiquitousandcheap.Andit’safairquestion,towhichweaskyoutorememberthenumberoftimesthatthecooksatyourlocalfryhaven:

• Forgottosaltyourfries

• Undercookedyourfriesintoasoggymess

• Overcookedyourfriesintocrunchyabominationsdevoidofpillowypotatotexture

• Triedtochargeyouextraforsauce

• WereclosedonSundaytoprotestgaymarriage

Bybecomingmasterofyourownfrydomain,youcanguaranteethebestresultseverysingletime,experiment with new sauces, seasonings, and techniques, and avoid the pitfalls of commercial fryvendors.

Wecouldgiveyoufifteenslightlydifferentrecipeshere,butaftersearchingwisdomfarandwide,andevengoingtotheFrietmuseuminBelgium(Imean,wewerealreadynearbyandtheyservebeer),we’vefiguredoutthateveryfryrecipeisasmallvariationononetheme:par-cookingslicedpotatoes,crankinguptheheat,andfinishingthemtoacrispgolden-brown.

Weknow that a lot of places leave their skin on to joyously announce the fact that theymakehand-cut fries inhouse,butwefindthatgoingskinless leavesuswithabetterendproduct. Ignorethis note if you’re striving to open a burger place or bar with “gourmet,” “farm-to-table,” or“artisan”usedwithoutironyonthemenu.

Here’syourabsolutelyperfect,repeatedlytested,ohmygodhowarewegoingtogetallthisoiloutof our test kitchen, base recipe for classicBelgian fries. SinceFrance andAmerica can’t play nicewhenitcomestothisdish,we’reassigningittoaneutralparty.

MAKES3POUNDSOFFRIES3poundsrussetpotatoes,peeledandcutintosticksthatare½-inchwideand½-inchthick,thendroppedintoabowlofcoldwater

2quartspeanutoil,tofryKoshersalt,toseason

1.Heat your oil to 325°F in a deep fryer, or a large, deep, heavy pot. Pleasedon’ttrythisinashallowcastironpan,abigskillet,oranyothervesselwhere

the oil barely covers the tiny batches of fries you’re coaxing along. Thetemperaturewilldroptoomuch,they’llturnoily,andyourfinishedproductwillleaveyouwistfulforthedrive-through.

2.Removethepotatoesfromthewater,shakeoffexcess,andcarefullylowerthefries into thehotoil.Becareful toavoidanyspatter.Fry thepotatoes insmallbatches (about one or twowire skimmersworth at a time, depending on yourcooking vessel) for 5 minutes, until lightly colored. Bring the oil back up to325°Fbetweeneverybatch,adjustingtheburnerifnecessary.

3.Removetoapapertowel-linedplate,newspaper,orapapergrocerybagandletcoolinasinglelayer.

4.When you’ve par-cooked your fries, either package them up and freeze insmallbatches for lateror turn theoilup to375°F to finish.Linea largebowlwithacoupleofpapertowelsthatcoverthebottominonecontinualpiece.

5.Fry1to2minutes,agitatingfrequently,untilthefriesarecrispyandgoldenbrown.Removeinbatchesandplaceinthebowl.Seasonthemgenerouslywiththe salt NOWNOWNOWNOWwhile the hot oil is still on the surface togreedilyacceptthedelicioussodium.

6.Whenthefrieshavebeenpiledupandseasoned,aggressivelyswipethetowelaway to mix the seasoning in consistently. You’ve got a bowl of fries!Congratulations!Servewithyourfavoritedippingsauces.

THEWONDERFULWORLDOFFRIES

Onceyou’vemadetheclassic,thereareotherplacesto go.Wewrote a book about it, but it turned outthetitleinfringedonanexistingworkbyDr.Seuss.Ohwell.

FASTFOODFRIESFastfoodfriesarethinner,crispier,andsaltierthantheclassicversion,whichiswhyentiregenerationsthinkit’stheapexoftheart.ThegreatKenjiLópez-AltdidawholeseriesonthisonSeriousEatsthatwerecommendyouread,ifevenjustforfun.Themaintakeaways:

1.Cut the fries uniformly¼-inch thick (he used calipers, even!) for the perfect crust-to-potatoresult.

2.Boil thefriesfor10minuteswitha tablespoonofwhitevinegaranda tablespoonofsaltperquartofwater.

3.Fryin400°Foilforjustunder1minute,thenfreezeovernight.

4.Finishstraightfromthefreezerin400°Foilfor3½minutes.Viola—aperfectreplica.

CURLYFRIESYou’llneedacurlyfrycutter,whichisauni-taskerineverysenseoftheterm.Curly-cutthem,followthe usual par-cooking procedure, then dredge them in Cajun-seasoned flour before the second fry.Serveinapapercupandit’sthestatefairwithfewerneck-tattoos!

WAFFLEFRIESAnotherstyle,anotherspecialcuttingtool.Thistimeit’sacross-cutter,whichyou’llgetwithadecentmandoline,oryoucanbuyitasastandalone.It’snotquitesouni-taskinghere,asacross-cutterisalso

thesecretfordeliciouscrispyhomemadechips.Followtheusualprocedures,butgivethemanextra30to45secondsinthehotteroil tofinish,andbesuretoservethemwithplentyofsauces.What’sthepoint ofmaking a potato dolphin net unless you’re going to imprison awhole lot of duck orBBQsaucewithit?

SWEETPOTATOFRIESIntheinterestofdirectness,weneedtoinformyouthatsweetpotatofriesareneverquitecrispyunlessthey’re burned or turned into sad oven-baked shadows of their true selves. It’s the tradeoff for thesweettastethatpairssowellwithaiolisofallkinds.Finishtheseatagentler350°Fandkeepacloseeyeonthemastheycook.Tastethefirstfewandadjustyourtimingasneeded.

BRITISHCHIPSWeactuallycoverthisinourFishandChipsrecipe(page74),butsufficetosay,youwanttocutwiderchipsformaximummaltvinegarapplicationareaandamorepotato-yflavor.Inaddition,youmayalsowant to replace the firstpar-frywitha10-minutevinegarandsaltboil, akin towhatMr.López-Alttaughtusaboutfastfoodfries.

LEFTOVERFRIESYouknowhowleftoverfriesfromarestaurantalwayssuck?Theydon’thaveto.Pour¼ inchofoilintoawidesautépan.Heatovermediumheatuntiljustshimmering,thenaddyourfries.Tosstheminthepanorwithtongsevery10to15secondsforaminuteortwo,untilhotandcrispy.Remove,addanyadditionalseasoningyoumightwant(they’reprobablyalreadysalty),andmarvelatyourabilitytoraisethedead.Youneedneverleavefriesoutofthedoggiebagagain.

GETSAUCED!IftheEuropeansdoonethingright,it’sofferingarainbowofdeliciousdippingsaucesfortheirfries.Meanwhile,we’reoverheredrowningtheminketchuplikeovergrowntoddlerswithbillsandbloodpressureissues.Ditchthe57,justfornow,andtryoneoralloftheseonyourfries.

GARLICAIOLI1cupmayo2clovesgarlic,minced1teaspoonlemonjuice1teaspoonblackpepper

CURRYSAUCE1tablespoonoliveoil1cupdicedyellowonion(about½onion)1cuppeeled,dicedapple(about1apple)2clovesgarlic,minced

¼cupdemi-glace¼cupbrownale½teaspooncurrypowder¼teaspoonblackpepper

MAYOKETCHUP½cupmayo½cupketchup½teaspoonWorcestershiresauce

SAUCEANDALOUSE1cupmayo

2tablespoonstomatopaste1tablespoononion,minced2tablespoonsbellpepper(redand/orgreen),minced2teaspoonslemonjuice½teaspoonanchovypaste

SAMURAISAUCE1cupmayo¼cupharissaorsambaloelek

TARTARSAUCE1cupmayo1tablespoonlemonjuice2tablespoonschoppedcornichons1tablespoongratedwhiteonion1glovegarlic,minced1teaspoonchoppedfreshchives1.Sautétheonionandapplesfor5minutes,untilsoft.Addthegarlicandcookanotherminute,untilfragrant.

2.Addthedemi-glace,brownale,curry,andpepper.Bringtoasimmerandletcookfor20to30minutes.

3.Removefromheat,carefully(orimmersion)blend,andstrain.

KATSUPORK

Katsu is our lesson that even in world of infinite street food dishes, you can find commonalitiesbetweenHokkaidoandIowa.Deliciousbreadedpork,richsauce,andplentyofbeertodrinkitwithare the tenets of this classic Izakayadish, but you’d imagine that ethoswould appeal toHawkeyefootballfansaswell.

MAKES4CUTLETS

4cupscoldwater½cupsugar½cupkoshersalt1poundporkloin,cutintochunks1inchwide×4incheslong×½inchthickPeanutoil,tofryFlour,todredge3eggs,beaten

PankobreadcrumbsKatsuSauce(page274),toserveShreddedcabbage,toserveThinlyslicedredonion,toserve1.Mixthecoldwater,sugar,andsalttocreateabrine.Addtheporkandletbringatleast45minutes,uptoovernight.

2.Removepork,patdry,andheatoilto350°F.

3.Threadtheporkontoskewersrunningthroughthelengthofthechunks.

4.Dredge the pork in flour, egg, andpanko, shakingoff excess between eachone.

5.Frypork,inbatches,for12to15minutes,untilgoldenbrownandtheinternaltemperaturereaches145°F.

6.Remove,coolfor2minutes,andservewithkatsusauce,cabbage,andonion.

IPAWINGS

Weusedahighalphahopinthefirstversionofthiswingsauce.Naturally,everyonewhosampleditwassoonwalkingaroundwithsourfaceexceptforthebighoplovers.Luckyforyou,we’veknockedthebitternessdownconsiderablytobeawell-roundedsauce.ThisalsomakesagreatdippingsauceforBelgianfries(page89).

MAKESABOUT32WINGSOil,forfrying½cupmaltybeer

Juiceof2lemons½teaspoonWorcestershiresauce¼teaspoonpepper4ouncesHopsButter(page289)½cupheavycream

2teaspoonsarrowrootpowder3poundschickenwings,cutintoflatsanddrumettes¼teaspoonlow-alphahoppellets,ground,togarnish1.Preheatoilto350°F.

2.Inasaucepanovermediumheat,addbeer,lemonjuice,Worcestershiresauce,andpepper,thenboilfor5minutes.

3.Lowerheattosimmer,addhopsbutterandmelt,thenaddcreamandsimmerfor3minutes,stirringconstantly.

4.Removefromheat.Mix thearrowrootwith2 teaspoonsofwater,stirring tocreateaslurry,andaddtothesauce,stirringuntilthickened.

5.Frywingsfor10minutes,untilcrispyandcookedthrough.

6.Removewingsfromthefryer,tossthewingswiththesauce,andgarnishwithgroundhops.

BEERPAIRING:KÖLSCH

FRIEDAVOCADOTACOS

Oursloganis“Meat.Beer.Rock&Roll”.Butthatdoesn’tmeanwelivebyiteveryday.Mostdaysyes, butwehear there’s actually great foodout there thatdoesn’thavemeat.Case inpoint, thesefried avocado tacos. Maybe someday we’ll also learn there are beverages besides beer or musicoutsideofrock.Buttodayisnotthatday.

MAKES8TO10SIX-INCHTACOS¾cupall-purposeflour3eggs,beaten2½cupspanko1teaspooncumin

1teaspoonchilipowder2avocados,pittedandcutinto½inchcubes1cabbage,sliced1redonion,slicedandsoakedinwater2cupspeanutoil,tofry8to10corntortillas,6inchesroundPicodegallo,toserve1cupMontereyJackcheese,shredded,toserveTequilaLimeCrema(page300)1.Preheatoilto350°F.

2.Placetheflour,eggs,andpankointhreeseparatebowls.Mixthecuminandchilipowderintothepanko.

3.Inbatchesof6,dredgeavocadopiecesinflour,dipthemintheegg,shakeofftheexcess,thencoatwithpanko.

4.Frytheavocadosinoilfor2to3minutes,untilgoldenbrown.Transferwithaslottedspoontoatowel-linedplate.Workinbatchesuntilalltheavocadopieceshavegonetotheirgolden-brownreward.

5.Lay theavocado,cabbage,and redoniononto their respective tortillas.Topwiththepicodegallo,cheese,andcrema.

BEERPAIRING:RYEBEER

THESOUTHSIDER

Bridgeport is on the near south side of Chicago where the White Sox play. It’s a close-knitcommunityofIrish,Italian,andLithuaniansandhometofiveChicagomayors.ThepresenceoftheChicagoMachineisstronginthisareaanditmustcreateanappetite.Thebreadedsteaksandwichisauniqueinventionfromhere.It’sathin,breadedsteakthat’sfried,thensmotheredwithredgravyandtoppedwithmozzarellacheese.The“small”sandwichistypicallythesizeofyourforearm,whichhelpspowerthecops,firefighters,andcityworkerswhocanbefoundeatingit.

MAKES4SANDWICHES2cupspeanutoil,tofry3eggs,beaten1teaspoonsalt

1teaspoonpepper2cupsdryItalianbreadcrumbs½cuppanko¼cupParmesanFour¼inch-thickslicesoftoproundsteak1cupall-purposeflour¼cupmilkRedGravy(page299),totop1baguette,quarteredandslicedlengthwise

2cupsshreddedmozzarellacheeseSweetpeppers,hotpeppers,and/orgiardiniera,totop1.Preheatfryeroilto350°F.

2.Mixtheeggs,milk,salt,andpepperinshallowdish.

3.Combinethebreadcrumbs,panko,andParmesaninsecondshallowdish.

4.Poundthesteakswithameattenderizermallet,thenpatdry.

5.Coatthesteakswithflour,submergeineggwash,shakeoffexcess,thencoatwithbreadcrumbmixture.

6.Fryeachsteakfor4minutes.

7.Removesteaksastheyfinishtoatowel-linedplateandletcoolfor1minute.

8.Dipthesteaksinredgravy,layontotheslicedbread,thentopwithcheeseandpeppers.

9. Finish by closing the sandwich. Geologically-(meatologically?) speaking,you’llhavedeliciousthingsinthisorder:steak,mozzarella,peppers,steak,andbreadthat’sdrippingwithredgravy.Ifsomethinghasgonewrong,consult thenearestscientist.

BEERPAIRING:IPA

NATIVEAMERICANFRYBREADRECIPEBYADAMPALMER

Thisdishisaninspiringexampleofthepowerofmakingthebestofwhatyou’regiven.Atthesametime,it’salsoastonecoldbummer.WhentheUSgovernmentforcedthevariousnativepopulationsonto reservations, they were provided Army rations to keep them from starving in new andunfamiliarenvirons.Thefrybread—soft,sweet,andadaptable—becamepartofthetribal identity,with each nation showing identifiable deviations in their recipe. You can find them all over theSouthwestasbothadelicioussnackandakillertortilla.

MAKES14PIECES10ounces(2½cups)self-risingflour(plusmoreforforming)

2cupsbuttermilkVegetableoil,tofryHoneyButter(page288),toserve

1. Sift the flower into a bowl and add the buttermilk gradually, stirringcontinually,untilathickdoughforms.

2. Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and begin to knead. Dust yourhandswithflourandkneadcontinuouslyfor10minutes,thenswitchtoacoatingofoilonyourhands.

3.When you can handle the doughwithout it sticking to your hands, rub thedoughwithoilandplaceitinacoveredcontainerinawarmplaceandletsitforatleast3hours.

4.Heatthevegetableoilto325°F.

5.Turnthedoughoutontoacleansurfaceandpinchoffaball.Flattenitwithyour hands, like you would a disc of pizza dough. Tear a small hole in themiddleofthedough—thiswillensuremoreevenfrying.

6.Dropthedoughintotheoilandcook2to3minutes,untilgoldenbrownonbothsides.Usechopstickstoturnthebreadwithouttearingit.

7. Repeatwith remaining dough,making sure to return the oil temperature to325°Fbeforefryingnewdough.Leftoverdoughcanbeplacedinaplasticbagandrefrigeratedupto4or5days.

8.Searwithhoneybutter.

BEERPAIRING:ENGLISHBARLEYWINE

BROADSHOULDERWINGS

Thesewingsareourtributetothe7,000ChineserestaurantsinChicago.Wediscoveredthissauce’sflavorprofilewhilevisitingaplaceonthenorthsidewhilesearchingforthebestwingsinChicago.Theflavor’snotsoy, it’snotteriyaki; it’shotandsweet,gingeryandsesame,andtrulyuniquelikethecityitself.

MAKESABOUT32WINGS⅓cupwater⅓cupsugar¼cupsoysauce1½tablespoonsricevinegar1tablespoonroastedsesameoil

1tablespoonhoney¾inchfreshgingerroot,finelygrated

2teaspoonsSriracha5clovesgarlic,minced

2teaspoonscornstarch3poundschickenwings,cutintoflatsanddrumettes½cupthin-slicedgreenonions

1tablespoonsesameseeds1.Combine thewater, sugar, and soy sauce in a small saucepanovermediumheatandstiruntilsugarisdissolved.

2.Add the rice vinegar, oil, honey, ginger,Sriracha, andgarlic.Simmer for 8

minutes.

3.Slowlystirinthecornstarchandstir.Whenthesaucethickens,removeitfromtheheat.

4.Tosswingswithsauceandtopwithslicedgreenonionandsesameseeds.

BEERPAIRING:EUROPEANPALELAGER

CHICAGOMEETSBUFFALOWINGS

TraditionalBuffalosauceiswonderfulbyitself;it’salsoakickassbaseforlayinginmoreflavor.Thissauceaddssweetandheatfromhabaneroandslightsmokefromchipotlechiliwithoutmakingthatlastjumptobecomeoneofthoseburn-your-face-offwingsauces.

MAKESABOUT32WINGS

1tablespoonarrowrootpowder3poundschickenwings,cutintoflatsanddrumettes

1cupunsaltedbutter2clovesgarlic,minced

1cupcayennehotsauce½habaneropepper,minced

1tablespoonSriracha½teaspoonchipotlechilipowder¼teaspoonchilipowder¼teaspoonpaprika⅛teaspoonpepper⅛teaspoonsalt

1.Mixthearrowrootand½tablespoonofwaterinabowltocreateaslurryandsetaside.

2.Meltthebutterandgarlicinasmallsaucepanoverlowheat.Justbeforethebutteriscompletelymelted,addthehotsauce.

3.Addthehabaneroandspicesandlowerheattoasimmer,stiringoccasionally.

4.Oncethesaucebeginstosteam,removefromheatandstir inthearrowroot.Keep stirring like a mad man so that the sauce doesn’t separate before thearrowrootsetsupandthickens.

5.Preheatyourfryerto350°F.

6.Fryyourwingsfor10minutes,untilcookedthoroughlyandcrispy.

7.Removethewingstoabowlandtosswithsaucetocoat.

BEERPAIRING:IMPERIALIPA,SUCHASGREENBULLETTRIPLEIPA—GREENFLASHBREWINGCO.

KOREANHOTCHICKENWINGSWITHPEANUTSANDSCALLIONS

RECIPEBYBRANDONFROHNE

WefirstmetBrandonwhileeatingourfillofHotChickeninNashvilleandwereblownawaybythefoodcultureofthecity.Wenaturallyaskedhimforhisfavoritestreetfoodrecipe,andhegaveittous.

MAKES4PORTIONS2cupsbuttermilk1tablespoonmincedgarlic2teaspoonsTabasco1tablespoonkoshersalt

1teaspoonblackpepper1poundchickenwings,separatedintoflatsanddrumettes(tipsdiscarded)1cupkochukaru(Koreanchiliflakes)½cupsoysauce

¾cupchoppedmango½cupricewinevinegar½cuphoney¼cupginger,grated½cupsgarlic,minced¼cupsesameoil

Juiceof4limes½cuptoastedbenneseeds(orsesameseeds)

1tablespoonbutterPeanutoil,forfrying

1cupriceflour

½cupall-purposeflour¼cupcornstarch½cupscrushedpeanuts,toserve½cupgreenonions,diced,toserve1.Inabowl,mixthebuttermilk,garlic,Tabasco,salt,andpepper.Pouroverwingsinasnugcontainerorzip-topbagandallowtomarinateintherefrigeratorovernight.

2. The next day, combine the kochukaru, soy,mango, vinegar, honey, ginger,garlic, sesameoil, lime juice, and toastedbenneor sesame seeds in amediumpot. Bring to a simmer over medium heat and cook for 15 minutes, stirringoccasionally.

3.Removethesaucefromtheheatandstirinthebutter.Mixuntilincorporated.

4.Heatoilto350°F.

5.Mixthericeflour,all-purposeflour,andcornstarchinamediumbowl.

6.Removewingsfrommarinade,shakingtoremoveexcessbuttermilk.Roll inthe flourmixture and place in the fryer for 6 to 8minutes until cooked to aninternaltemperatureof165°F.

7. Remove from fryer and place on a sheet pan. Using a pastry brush, brushwingswiththesauceandsprinklecrumbledpeanutsandscallionsoverthetop.

BEERPAIRING:MAIBOCK

SMOKEDSALMONANDBACONPOPPERS

Theseare thepoppersyouwished thatdivebarnext toyourhouse served.Jalapeño smothered inbeerbattergreatnessandstuffedwithsmokedsalmonandacrunchycreamcheese.They’retherealdeal.

MAKES12POPPERS12jalapeño3ouncessmokedsalmon,slicedinto12pieces1poundcreamcheese,atroomtemperature2cupsall-purposeflour

½tablespoonoliveoil1½teaspoonsbakingpowder½cupmilk¼cuppilsnerbeer¼teaspoonsalt

Peanutoilforfrying¼poundbacon,cooked(page175)andfinelychopped1.Gentlyscoretheskinofthejalapeño(thiswillhelpthebatterstick).Slicethetopofthejalapeñoopen,leavingthestemattached.Removetheseeds.

2.Mixthechoppedbaconandchreamcheese.

3. Fill each pepperwith a slice of smoked salmon and 1 tablespoon of creamcheesemixture.


5.Mix1cupoftheflourwiththeoliveoil,bakingpowder,milk,beer,andsaltinabowl.Theconsistencyshouldbesimilartopancakebatter.

6.Dredgethepeppersinabowlfilledwiththeremainingcupofflour.Shakeoffexcess,thendipinbatter.

7.Fry6minutesuntilgoldenbrown.Removetoatowel-linedplateandletcoolfor7minutes.

BEERPAIRING:AMERICANPALEWHEATALE

WENCESLASSQUARESANDWICH

Besidethebeauty,history,andbeer,Praguehasexcellentstreetfood.Justafewblocksawayfromthe heavy tourist area of Old Town Square is the busy, resplendent shopping districtWenceslasSquare.WhiledrinkingyourwayfromPragueCastleacrosstheCharlesBridgetoenjoyaviewoftheastronomicalclockinOldTownSquare,youcanreallyworkupanappetite.Atthenorthend,afewstreetvendorsservefriedcheesesandwiches.They’rebigbreadedcheesesticksonabunwithalittlemayo,andthey’rethebestdamnbeerfoodinthecity.

MAKES6SANDWICHES1clovegarlic,minced

1cupbreadcrumbs¼cuppanko

1cupflour2eggs,beaten1poundEdamcheese,cutinto6evenslices(typicalwirecheeseslicercutstoperfectthickness)Oilforfrying

6briochebuns

Mayotospread


2.Combinegarlic,breadcrumbs,andpankoinshallowbowl.Put theflourinaseparateshallowdishandeggsinanother.Dippingtime.

3.Dredgecheeseinflour,wetwithegg,andcoverwithbreadcrumbmixture.

4.Fryfor30seconds,remove,andletoildrainoff.

5.Placethecheeseintobun,topwithmayoandpartyon.

BEERPAIRING:CZECHPILS

LINECOOKCHICHARRONES

RECIPEBYJAMESGOTTWALDThe samepeople that taughtus thewondersof thePhillyCheesesteakand themagicof theRoastPorkGrindershowedusthisneatlittletricktocreateakillersnackfromtheporkroasttrimmings.Theysaytheywon’tputitonthemenubecausetheycan’tfigureoutwhattocallit(PorkScraps?PigChips?),butwewouldn’tbesurprisediftheyweresavingthegoodstuffforthemselves.

MAKESABOUT1½POUNDS1½to2poundsporktrimmings½cupreservedrubfromthePhillyRoastPorkGrinder(page208)HoneySrirachaMayo(page285),toserve1.Preheatoilto350°F.

2.Chopthetrimmingsintoroughlyuniformpieces,about½to¾inchlong.

3.Tosstheporkwiththerub,coatingitgenerously.

4.Frythecoatedporkfor5to6minutes,untildeepredandcrispy.

5. Remove to a towel-lined plate, let cool 2minutes, and servewith SrirachaMayo.

BEERPAIRING:AMERICANIPA

FRYLIKEASCOTSMAN

TheTexasStateFairgetsallthecreditforfreakishdeep-friedcreations(bubblegum,cola,yourhopesanddreams),butScotland isrenownedfor its loveaffairwithfriedfoodofextremelyquestionablenutritionalvalue.Here’showtobatterandfrythefoodofyourdreams.

Thisisyourall-purpose“ShouldIreallybefryingthis?Yes,Ishould.It’sforscience”batter.Youmaynotice it’sbasicallypancakeswithoutthe laststep.Youneedsomethinghardytoclosearoundyour food and protect it from the ravages of the fryer. You need something soft and sweet tocomplement,butnotoverpower,youringredients.Isthereanythingyoucan’tdo,pancakes?Weloveyou.

4eggs,separated

2cupsall-purposeflour½teaspoonbakingpowder¼teaspoonsalt1½cupswholemilk,divided½cupbutter,meltedOil,forfrying

1.Whiptheeggwhitesandsetaside.

2.Stir theflour,bakingpowder,andsalt together.Whiskin1cupof themilk,themeltedbutter,andtheeggyolks.Beatituntilit’sasuniformandyieldingasapost-apocalypticdystopiansociety.Whiskintherestofthemilk.

3.Foldintheeggwhitesuntilcombined.It’stimetodip.

4.Getyouroilto375°F.Remindyourselfonemoretimetobereallycareful.Itwouldbeashametoloseabodypartoverstunt-gluttony.

5. Coat your foods generously in the batter and lower into the oil.Don’t justdrop it in,asyoumighteithersplashhotoilor inadvertentlydunk thefoodsohardithitsthebottomofthefryerandgluesitselfthere.

6.Turnyour food regularly for2 to3minutes.Given the irregularshapesanddelicatecoating,apairofdisposablewoodenchopsticksworkextremelywelltoturnthefood.

7. After 5 minutes, your batter should be crispy and golden brown. Remove,drainexcessoilonarackoratowel-linedplate,andyou’rereadytofeedsomeextremelyhungrypeople.

WHATCANYOUFRYNOW?SOMANYTHINGS:Oreos.(OrHydrox.DotheystillmakeHydrox?YouknowthatHydroxcamefirst?Funfact.)

SnickersorMarsbars.Dependingonyourgeneralfeelingsvis-à-visnuts.

Twinkies.KINGOFTHECRAPFOOD!

NOTKitKats.Wefoundoutthehardwaythattheyjustkindofstiffenupandthewafersharden.Liveandlearn.

FRIEDGREENTOMATOES(THEFOOD,NOTTHELIFE-AFFIRMINGMOVIE)

This is the perfect change of pace for that time of year when everyone’s late-summer harvest ismakingyoure-thinkyourrelationshipwithseasonalfruitsandvegetables.Whenyouabsolutelycan’tstandanotherlocally-sourcedsaladbuoyedonthequalityandfreshnessofitsingredients,it’stimetomakesomejunkfoodanddunkitinbaconspread.

Thisisagreat“butIdon’thaveafryer!”recipe,becauseitworksperfectlyinacastironpanwithahalf-inchofoil.

5greentomatoes,sliced½inchthickSeasalt,totaste

Blackpepper3eggs,beatenVegetableoil,tofryAll-purposeflour,todredge2cupspanko,todredgeHoneySrirachaMayo(page285),toserveBaconJam(page282),toserveDicedheirloomtomatoes,toserve

1.Seasonthetomatoesonbothsideswithsaltandpepper.

2.Beattheeggswith¼cupwatertomakeaneggwash.


4.Dip the tomatoes in the flour, then theegg, then thepanko, shakingoff theexcessbetweeneachstation.

5.Droptomatoslicescarefullyintotheoilandfry1½minuteseach,inbatches.Removetoarackortowel-linedplate.

6.Servehotwithsrirachamayo,baconjam,anddicedtomatoes.

BEERPAIRING:PALEALE

FRIEDPICKLES

AnotherSoutherndishrecentlymadegood,friedpicklesareonabsolutelyeverymenu.Lookdown—youmightbeeatingsomerightnowandnotevenknowit.

MAKES4PORTIONS½cupunbleachedall-purposeflour½cupyellowcornmeal

1teaspoonbakingpowder½teaspoonsalt¼teaspoonbakingsoda1egg,beaten1cupbuttermilk,plusmoreifneeded16-ouncejardillpickles,drainedPeanutoil,tofry

1.Mixtheflour,cornmeal,bakingpowder,salt,andbakingsoda.Heatyouroilto350°F.

2.Inaseparatebowl,mixtheeggandbuttermilk.

3. Stir the wet ingredients into the dry to form a smooth batter. Add morebuttermilkifnecessary.

4.Patthepicklesdryanddredgeinthecornstarch.

5.Dipthepicklesinthebatterandgentlylowerintothefryer.

6.Fry3to4minutes,untilgoldenbrown.Removetoapapertowel,newspaper,orpaperbagtodrain,thenserveimmediately.


FRIEDCHEESECURDS

Wisconsin,tous,isthreethings:

1. Deliciouscheeseandcraftbeer2. Awholebunchoflakestogoenjoythosetwothingsnear3. Footballteamswe’drathernotmentionCheesecurds,forthoseofyounotfamiliarwithdairycountry,areunseasonedcheddarcurdsmadefromaddingrennettofreshpasteurizedmilk.They’realotlikecheddar,withafirmer(theysqueak!)texture.Batteringandfryingthemisthesurestwaytofallinlovewiththemforever.

MAKES4SERVINGS1cupunbleached,all-purposeflour,plusmoretodredge

1teaspoonbakingpowder½teaspoonsalt¼teaspoonbakingsoda1cupsodawater(orbeer,ifyouwanttouseit)1egg,beaten

1tablespoonhotsauce½poundfreshcheddarcheesecurds

Peanutoiltofry

1.Mixtheflour,bakingpowder,salt,andbakingsoda.

2.Whisksodawater,egg,andhotsaucetogether.


4.Dredgeyour curds in the flour, shakeoff excess, thendip into thebatter tocoat.

5. Fry the curds in batches until golden brown, about 2minutes, and removewithawireskimmertoapapertowel,newspaper,orpaperbag.

6.Serveimmediately.

BEERPAIRING:AMERICANPALEALE

POTATOCHIPS

Trustus,thisisanothercheapandubiquitousdishthatyou’llreallybesurprisedbywhenyoumakeitathome.Nothinglikewarmchipsstraightoutofthefryer.Ifyoucanwaffle-cutthem,preferablywithamandoline, you’ll getmore crunchwith less cooking. Ifnot, then just rollwith the thinnestslicesyoucanmanage—⅛inchorsmaller.Pleasedon’tcutyourself.

Onceyou’vegotyourtechniquedown,youcanmakeallyourfavoritechips—vinegarpowderisreadily available online for you Salt andVinegar chip people, dried fish and shellfish for shrimpcrackerfans,orjustdumpeverysinglespiceinandtryforZapp’sVoodooflavor.

MAKES4SERVINGS2russetpotatoes,peeledandslicedexceptionallythin,thenplacedintoabowlofcoldwaterPeanutoil,tofry

Koshersalt,toseasonFreshlygroundblackpepper,toseason

1.Letyourpotatoslicessoakfor30minutes.Heatoilto350°F.

2.Removesomepotatoslicesfromthebowlandshakeoffexcesswater.

3.Frytheslicesinbatches,agitatingfrequently,for2to3minutes,untilgoldenbrown.

4.Remove and season immediately.Repeatwith remaining slices, keeping aneyeontheoiltemperatureandadjustingifnecessary.Keepseasoningthechipsstraightoutofthefryer.

5. Toss the batches of chips together to distribute the seasoning and texturesevenly,thenserve.


WHITETABLECLOTHBBQCHIPS(ANDLAMB!)

RECIPEBYMATTDANKO

Raw lamb and potato chips? Damn straight raw lamb and potato chips. Matt Danko runs aphenomenalseafoodrestaurantinChicago,andweaskedhimtogiveushischeffyinterpretationofstreetfoodflavors.Thisisgreatonbothatinyporcelainplateinyourdiningroomorinapaperboatonyourfrontporch.

MAKES6SERVINGS1½poundsoflambloinwithfatcapintact¼poundbutter½poundoffingerlingpotatoes,slicedthinintoabowlofcoldwaterPeanutoil,tofryKoshersalt,totasteBlackpepper,totaste2tablespoonsgrape-seedoil1½-ouncepackagedriedshrimp,groundandpassedthroughameshstrainer1mediumturnip,dicedinto⅛-inchcubesChiliflake,totaste

1.Removethefatfromthelambloinandsetaside.Cut¼-inchmedallionsfromthe loin, stacking them4 to 5 pieces high as you go.When you’ve sliced theentireloin,cutthemedallionsinto¼-inchstrips,turnthem90degrees,andcutthemcrosswise.Shouldgiveyouacoarselychoppedgroundmeattexture.Wasthis a complexway to tell you to cube it?Maybe, but nowyouknowexactlyhowwedoit.

2. Place the lamb into a bowl and cover the surface of the lambdirectlywithplastic wrap. Then place a second piece over the mouth of the bowl andrefrigerate.We’reallaboutpreventingoxidation.

3.Cube the fat you saved from the loin andplace it into amediumsaucepan.Add thebutter and2 tablespoonsofwater and cookovermediumheat 3 to 5minutes,until itbecomesclearandyoucan see thebottomofyourpoteasily.Strain throughacoffee filter intoabowlor jar,cover,and reservesomewherewarmwhereitwon’tsolidifywhileyoufinishtherecipe.

4.Preheatoilto300°F.Removethechipsfromthewaterandpatdry.

5. Fry the chips in batches 1 to 2minutes, until the chips are golden brown.

Removefromtheoilandseasonimmediatelywithsaltandpepper.(Optional:ifyou’vegotacoldsmoker,useitonthechipsfor2minutespersidetogetagreatsmoky taste. Smoked sea salt also works.) 6. Remove the lamb from therefrigeratorandmixwiththesalt,pepper,grape-seedoil,dicedturnips,andchili.Stirgentlytocombine.

7.Brush someof the reserved lamb fat ontowarmplates anddivide the lambtartareontop.Garnishwiththegroundshrimp,chiliflakes,andserve.

BEERPAIRING:OYSTERSTOUT

GREATLAKESFISHFRY(FANCYVERSION)RECIPEBYMATTDANKO

AroundtheGreatLakes,summerisatimewheneveryonegetstogether,roundsupsomesuper-fresh,super-delicatewhitefish,andboilsorfriesitforFridaynightcommunitygatherings.Youloadupapaperplate,crackabeer,andmaybepassonthesketchy-lookingmacaronisalad.Eatuntilthesun’sgone and you’re getting eaten alive bymosquitos, and go home to do it all again tomorrow untileventuallyit’swinterandyouhaveeverything.

We’ve given this proud tradition the fancy treatment, because why not?ManBQue’s lucky tohaveguysaroundtoprovidecontrasttoournatural“let’sdumpchiliinachipbag”inclinations.

MAKES8SERVINGS2½poundsskinlesswhitefishfilets1¼cups(about5.3ounces)all-purposeflour4teaspoonskoshersalt,divided

2largeeggs,plus4eggyolks

1cupunsaltedbutterPeanutoil,tofry1cupplainyogurt2tablespoonslemonjuice

1teaspoonSpanishpaprika½teaspoonsmokedcinnamon¼teaspoongarlicpowder

1tablespoongroundcoriander½teaspooncumin⅛teaspoonsaffronLemonzest,togarnishPickledlemonverbena,toserve

1.Grindthefishinafoodprocessoruntilthetextureisuniformlysmooth.

2.Add1¼cupsofwatertoasmallsaucepanandbringtoaboil.Addtheflourandstiruntilyou’vegotasmoothpaste,thenremovefromthepotandletcoolonasmallsheetpan.

3. Once the flour mixture has cooled, add it to the fish puree in the foodprocessor andpulseuntil themix isonceagain smooth.Add2 teaspoons salt,eggs, butter, and yolks, and grind until homogenous. If your eggs look likethey’recooking,youskippedtheflour-coolingstep.Didn’tyou?DIDN’TYOU?

4.Coatasheetpanwithflour.Placethebatterinapipingbagwitha#9tip,orintoalargezip-topbagandcutyourselfacornerholethatresembles1 inchesasmuchaspossible.Pipeinto2-inchlinksdownthelengthofyourtrayandsetin thefridgefor30to45minutes tochill.Thetimegenerallydependsonhowmuchcrapyouhaveinyourfridge.Maybegetridofthathardlemonadebecauseyou’renotasororitygirlduringrushweek.

5.Bringalargepotofsaltedwatertoasimmerandloweryourlinksintothepot.Thebatterwill sink, then rise to the surface.After it rises,give it1minute tocook,thenremovetoatowel-linedplatetodry.

6.Returnthelinkstothefridgeandletthemchillcompletely.Youcanwrapandfreezeanyextraforfuturefishfriesatthispoint.

7. Heat oil fryer to 350°F.Meanwhile, mix the yogurt with the lemon juice,paprika, cinnamon, and garlic powder. Set aside. Then mix the remaining 2teaspoonssaltwiththecoriander,cumin,andsaffron.

8.Frythelinksfor2minutes,agitatingfrequently,untilgoldenbrown.Removeandseaonwithcorianderspicemixture.

9.Servewithyogurtandverbena,garnishwithlemonzest,andserve.

BEERPAIRING:BIEREDEGORDE

WOKPeople have been making masterful food in wokssincewell before the dynastic ages ofChina.We’vebeen doing it for . . . (checkswatch) . . . like eightyears.Butit’sgoingreallywell!

Remember everything we’ve told you aboutbuying other pieces of kitchen equipment?Howyoushould look for sturdy, solidly built pieces? This isliterally theoppositeofall that.Yourwokshouldbemadeofthin,heat-reactivemetal(aluminumorcarbonsteel),havesometextureontheinsidetoholdpiecesoffoodinplace,andbelightenoughforyoutomoveon and off the heat or swing at an intruder like aflaming cudgel of justice. Cast iron woks, stainlesssteelwoks,andwokswithdelicateTefloncoatingareallprettyuseless inouropinion.Mightaswelladapttooneofyourmanyotherpansandmakethebestofit.

Asa sidenote,one fun trickwe’vediscovered islighting a chimney starter half-full of charcoal andusingthatasanoutdoorwokburner.That’showyouget theseriousheat thatauthenticplacesuseon theirfood. Even better: If you can use a cutting tool tocreate an access vent in a non-galvanized metalbucket,you’vegotamobilewokstationreadytogo.

BACONLIMEFRIEDRICERECIPEBYLUKEGELMAN

This dish has almost everything people love unconditionally (eggs, bacon, rice) in it.At your nextparty,it’stimetoblowafewmindswithyourwokskills.Oryoucanmakeitforyourselfandignoreyourfriends,whichmayhavehappenedonceortwiceinourdevelopmentprocess.

MAKES2½CUPS5stripsbacon,cutinto½-inchlardons

2eggs¼cupcornkernels,frozen2cupscookedwhiterice5tablespoonssoysauce3tablespoonslimejuice

3tablespoonschoppedcilantro

1.Cookyourbaconinawokovermediumheatuntilthefatisrenderedandthepiecesbegintocrisp.Whenthey’redone,pushthemuptohangoutonthesideofyourwok.

2.Dropyoureggs into thebacongreaseandscramble in thepan,stirringuntilmostlycooked.

3.Dropyourfrozencorninthepanaswellandcookforanother30seconds.

4.Dropthericeintothepan,addthesoysauceandlimejuice,andmix.Letthericecookuntilthebottomstartstogetalittlecrispy.Tossoncemoreandremovefromtheheat.

5.Dumpthebaconlimefriedriceintoabowlandsprinklethecilantrooverthetop.Finally,yourfriendswill truly loveyou.Sure, it’sconditional,butdoyoucare?

BEERPAIRING:FARMHOUSEALE

HONGSHAOROU

ThisisatraditionalChinesecomfortfoodcookedwithporkbellybraisedinsoy,sugar,andShaoxingwine.Thisrecipe takessometime,but it’snotdifficultand it’sevenbetter lateatnight.Thegreatthingaboutthisdishisit’salwaysleftuscravingitthenextmorning,whichhasmadeuscookitagainandagain.It’llbeaperfectcomfortfoodforyourhousehold.

MAKES2SERVINGS2inchesginger,peeled,divided4greenonions,2chopped,2sliced1½poundsporkbelly,cutinto1inchcubes1tablespoonoil

2tablespoonsdarkbrownsugar¼cupdarksoysauce¼cupShaoxingwine1cinnamonstick

2podsstaranise

1.Bring3cupswater toaboil,cutginger inhalf lengthwise,andaddhalf thegingerand1slicedgreenonion.Addbellyandcookfor4minutes,thenremoveandsetaside.Drainwokandwipedry.

2.Thinly slice theotherhalfof theginger andheat theoil inwok tomediumheat.Cookthegingerfor30seconds,thenaddtheporkbellyandbrown,tossingoften,for3minutes.

3.Addthesugar,soy,andwineovermeatandcookfor5minutes.

4.Add2½cupsofwater,cinnamonstick,oneslicedonion,andstaranise.Coverandsimmerfor45minutes.

5.Uncover,removethecinnamon,staranise,slicedonion,andanylargechunks

of ginger. Increase the heat to high to reduce liquid to 3 tablespoons, stirringfrequently.Itwilltakeabout30minutes.

6.Garnishwithremaininggreenonion.Serveinabowloronasteamedbun.

BEERPAIRING:CHINESELAGER

PORKBELLYGYOZA

MAKES36DUMPLINGS1poundporkbelly,cubedto1inch1½teaspoonskoshersalt¼poundbacon,diced1largeegg,beaten2tablespoonschickenstock(orporkstockifyou’vegotsome)2teaspoonssake2teaspoonsricevinegar

2teaspoonssoysauce½teaspoonsugar16scallions,slicedthin

GyozawrappersVegetableoil,topan-fry

1.Spreadporkoutonabakingsheet,andplaceinthefreezerfor25minutes.

2.Tossporkwithsaltandgrindusingacoarsedie.Toss thegroundporkwiththebacon,egg,stock,sake,vinegar,soysauce,andsugar.Grindasecondtime,thenstirinslicedscallions.

3. Fill the dumpling wrappers with 1 teaspoon of the pork mix. Moisten theedges,foldover,andcrimp.

4.Oneoptionalstepis tosteamthedumplingsfor5minutes.It’snotrequired,but steaming and then frying creates an awesome contrast between theslippery/chewyinnerdumplingskinandthecrisp/oiledouterskin.Giveitashotif you’ve got the time. You can even steam the dumplings ahead of time,refrigeratethem,andfinishthemintheoil.

5. Coat your wok with vegetable oil and heat over medium-high. Cook thedumplingsfor90secondsperside,untilbrownedandcrispyontheoutside.

BEERPAIRING:JAPANESEWHEATALE

HOTDOGGYOZA!

Youmaynothaveknownthis,butifyoumetanyofusforlongerthanaminute,you’dknowweweretwo-timeHotDogChampionsofChicago.Ourcoronationcamebothtimesatacharityeventsetupbyalocalnewssiteandjudgedbylocalfoodcritics,foodhistorians,andencasedmeatlegendDougSohn.Realrestaurantsandformallytrainedchefscompeteinthis,whichleadsustobelievewegotholy-shit-luckytwiceinarow.

This recipe is from that second time, when we decided to juke the competition and bring aJapanesestreetfoodflairtotheproceedings.Weopenedupthecasingsofourcharity-assignedhotdogs,scoopedoutthedeliciouscuredmeat,anduseditasabaseforsomeChicago-stylegyoza.MikeSula of theChicagoReader, a respectedwriterwith amaster’s in junk food, later told us hewasimpressedthat it tastedexactly like ithadbeendraggedthroughthegarden.Wehadsucceeded inmakinghotdogstheslightly-more-difficultway.SUCESS!

It’shardtobelieve,butwewerenothighintheslightestwhenwethoughtthisup.Wepromise.

MAKES24DUMPLINGS¼poundbacon,diced4all-beefhotdogs(about½pound),casingsremoved½cupwhiteonion,diced¼cupneongreenpicklerelish2tomatoes,fire-roasted(onthestovetoporunderthebroiler)anddiced24gyozawrappers

2tablespoonspeanutoilHotmustard,toserveCelerysalt,toserveSportpeppers,toserve

1.Grindorprocessthebaconandthehotdogmeat.Mixwiththewhiteonion,relish,anddicedtomatoes.

2.Place1 teaspoonof thehotdogmixture into thecenterofagyozawrapper,foldover,andcrimptheedges.Repeatwithremainingmeatandwrappers.

3.Steamthedumplingsinbatchesfor4minutes,thenremoveandsetaside.

4.Heatawokoverhighheatandswirlwithpeanutoil.Pan-frythedumplingsin

batches2minutesapiece,untilcrispandslightlybrowned.

5. Servedrizzledwith hotmustard, sprinkledwith celery saltwith peppers ontop.


STRIPMALLPADTHAI

Inthepastcoupleofyears,somereallytalentedcookshavedonewelltobringtheregionalvariationsand unique textures of authentic Thai food to a wider audience. They’re taking people past theunusuallynumbereddishesandselect-a-sizelevelsofspicetosomethingnewandexciting.We,ontheotherhand,arenowherenearas talented.So let’swhipup somedeliciousPadThai thatyou’dbehappy to eatwhile youwait for the dry cleaner next door to find your sweater.Remember, kids:“inauthentic”isn’tasynonymfor“bad”ifyou’redoingitright.

MAKES4SERVINGS¼cupdarkbrownsugar¼cupwhitesugar¼cuptamarindpulp½cupfishsauce½cupThaichilipaste1tablespoonvegetableoil,plus1tablespoon1poundskinlesschickenthighs,slicedinto½-inchstrips2shallots,sliced

1egg,beaten6ouncesricenoodles

1cupbeansprouts¼cupchoppedtoastedpeanuts2teaspoonsThaibasil,slicedthin1lime,cutintowedges

1.Mixthebrownsugar,sugar,tamarind,fishsauce,andchilipaste.Setaside.

2.Heat 1 tablespoonofoil overmedium-highheat.Season the chicken thighsandcook2to3minutes,untilbrownedslightly.Removetoaplateandwipeoutwok.

3.Heat the remainingvegetableoilovermediumheat inyourwok, thensautétheshallotsandcook3minutes,untilsoft.

4.Pourtheeggintothepanandbegintoscramble.Asitcomestogether,returnthe heat to high and add the noodles and sugar/fish saucemixture, tossing tocoat.

5.Addthechicken,tossingtocoat.

6.When thenoodlesbegin tocolorslightly, fold in thebeansproutsandcookanotherminute.

7.RemovefromheatandgarnishwithpeanutsandThaibasil.Servewithlimewedges, preferably in a cool waxed paper container with some disposablechopsticks.

BEERPAIRING:HELLESBOCK

FIREWe fucking love cooking over fire. We wrote anentirebookabout it,even.But there’smorethanjustthe grill out there. The bane of Zeus has adapted tocooking situations everywhere, from pimento woodpits inJamaica to late-nightbinchō-tan-burninggrillsin Sapporo. What kind of vessel should you use tobring flame tomeat?Well, it happenswe’ve createdanentireflowcharttoguideyourdecision.Enjoy!

BACONS’MORESRECIPEBYLUKEGELMAN

Thisonetakesalittlepracticebutyoufigureitoutquickly.Itismessy,salty,andterribleforyou—inshort,allthebestthingsinlife.

MAKES6BACONS’MORES24stripsregular-cutbacon

12grahamcrackers12marshmallows,cutinhalf

12squareschocolate

1. Tomake each s’more, line a ceramic platewith two sheets of paper towel,thenlayoutfourpiecesofbaconintheshapeofaplussign,asfollows:• Onelaid down on the paper towel, vertically • One laid horizontally across themiddle • Repeat, laying one horizontal slice next to the first piece, then oneverticalagainsttheotherpiece• Ifyoudidthisright,you’llhavea3×3wovenbacongrid2.Laythreesheetsofpapertowelonthetop,andweighdownwithasecondplate.

3.Microwavethebaconfor2minutestopar-cookit.Don’tcookitfully,oryourmarshmallowswon’tmelt.Don’tundercook,or itwillbecomeagreasymess.Luckily,it’seasytohitthatmiddleground.

4.Carefullyremovethebacon,patdry,andletcoolwhileyourepeattheabovesteps.You’llgetalotfasterasyougo.

5.Assemblethes’mores—placeagrahamcrackersquareinthemiddle, then2pieces of marshmallow. Add 2 squares of chocolate, then the last grahamcracker.Gently smoosh (why no,we didn’t go to culinary school) the s’moretogetherwithout breaking the graham cracker. Fold up the sides of the baconfrom the bottom over the sides and tip and secure with a tooth pick. Again,you’llgetfasterasyougo.

6. Find a kick-ass live fire, or just get a grill going. Using a grilling basket,tongs,orevenagrillfork,cookthes’morefortwominutesperflatsideand20secondsperseamside—untilthebaconisjuuuustcrisparoundthesides.

7.Singcampsongs.AnythingbyHallandOatesshoulddo.

BEERPAIRING:ENGLISHBARLEYWINE

BALIKEKMEK

We know, you’re wondering what the cool Turkish name for this dish is all about—it actuallytranslatesto“fishandbread.”Sometimesanametellsyouallyouneedtoknowaboutadish.It’sjusta simple sandwich that complements the taste of fresh fish cookedquickly over fire.Give it a fewyears,andsomeonewillslapan“artisan”onthisIstanbulclassicandhavethestonestoput“MarketPrice”nexttoit.Untilthen,let’sjustenjoyit.

MAKES4FISHSANDWICHES

1cupmayonnaise¼teaspoongarlicpowder

1teaspoongroundsumac46-ouncefiletsofcod,haddock,oranotherwhitefish

2tablespoonsoliveoil2teaspoonskoshersalt,plusmoretotaste

1teaspoonblackpepper4softFrenchbreadrolls,sliced

1cupshreddedromainelettuceParsley,togarnish

Juiceof2lemons

2Romatomatoes,thinlysliced½redonion,thinlysliced

1. Heat your grill to medium, and definitely remember to clean and oil thegrates.Whitefishcanbeunforgiving.

2.Mix themayonnaise, garlic powder, and sumac.Taste and adjust seasoningwithsalt.Setaside.

3. Brush the filets lightly with olive oil and season with the salt and blackpepper.

4.Grillthefiletsuntiltheygojustoverhalfwayopaqueandflipcarefully.Afishspatulahelpsalothere.Cursinghelpsnotatall,butitdoesmakeyoufeelbetterif something goeswrong.And if it does, you’re putting it in a sandwichwithtoppings,notservingittothePresidentonaplate.Relax.

5. Remove the filets and let them rest aminute or twowhile you prepare therolls.

6.Spreadthemayomixtureonbothsidesofthebreadandplacelettuceonthebottomoftherolls.

7. Lay the fish into the split rolls and topwith parsley, a spritz of the lemonjuice, then the tomatoes and onions. There you have it—fish and bread (andotherthings).

BEERPAIRING:AMERICANWILDALE

BALTIMOREPITBEEFRECIPEBYSTEVEMUHLBAIER

The native barbecue style of Baltimore isn’t something that a Texan, Tennessean, or NorthCarolinianwouldrecognize.It’sahotter,fastercookingprocess.It’smostoftenacharcoalfire.Andrather than the fall-apartmeatof theSouthernstates,Baltimorepitbeef isonlycooked torareorlightmediumrare.Itinspiresdevotion—onHBO’sTheWire,aguygoingupforseveralmurdershedidn’tcommit“confesses”infullinexchangeforapitbeefwithextrahorseradish.

Letthepuriststurntheirnosesupalltheywant—we’llbeoverhere,eatingpitbeefsuntilwearewheeze-breathinglikelatter-dayMarlonBrando.

MAKES12SANDWICHES½cupchoppedfreshgarlic½cupkoshersalt¼cupfreshcrackedblackpepper¼cupMontrealsteakseasoning¼cupDijonmustard4poundsbottomroundroast

12whitebuns2whiteonions,slicedthinPreparedhorseradish,toserve1.Mixthegarlic,salt,pepper,Montrealsteakseasoning,andDijonmustardtogetherandrubitgenerouslyalloverthemeat.Letitsitovernight.

2.Setupgrillfor indirectcooking,withawaterpanonthecoolside.Sear themeatonallsidesoverdirectheatfor2minutesperside, thenmoveitoverthewaterpantobeginindirectcooking.

3.Cookforabout1hour,oruntil the internal temperaturereaches130°F.Youmayhave to factor inmore time—the larger the cut of beef the longer itwilltake.

4.Remove themeatand let it rest for15minutes.Slice it against thegrainasthinly as possible and serve on a roll with thinly sliced white onion andhorseradish.

BEERPAIRING:AMERICANPORTER

CHICKENSATAYRECIPEBYSTEVEMUHLBAIER

ThankstothisMalayclassic,thephrase“streetfood”conjuresuptheimageofmeatsonsticks,eatenstandingup.It’sjustasimplesauce,somereallyhumbleslicesofmeat,andmaybealittlegarnish,butit’ssomethingyouendupdreamingaboutnineyearsandanentirehemispherelater.

MAKESABOUT36SKEWERS5poundsbonelesschickenthighs,cutinto1-inchstrips2cupssoysauce2cupssweetchilisauce

1cuplimejuice½cupsambaloelek¼cupSrirachasauce

2tablespoonsgratedfreshginger2stalkslemongrass,splitlengthwiseandcutintoquarters

1tablespoonsesameoil½cupchoppedgreenonion

1. Ifyou’reusingwoodenskewers, soak themforat least2hours, then threadthechickenontotheskewers.

2. Add the soy sauce, sweet chili sauce, lime juice, sambal, Sriracha, ginger,lemongrass,andsesameoiltoasaucepanovermedium-highandbringtoaboil.Removefromheatandletstandfor45minutesbeforeplacingintherefrigeratortocool.

3.Dividesauce—pourhalfofitoverthechickenskewersinacontainerorzip-

topbagandletmarinateovernight.Reservetheotherhalfforbasting.

4.Preheatyourgrillformedium-highdirectheatcooking.

5. Grill the chicken 3 to 4 minutes on each side, making sure to move theskewers toacoolerpartof thegrill if the saucebegins toburn.Bastechickenwithremaininghalfofyoursaucethroughoutcookingprocess.

6. Remove the skewers from the grill as they finish and garnish with greenonion.


CHICKENTIKKAKEBABSRECIPEBYSTEVEMUHLBAIER

MAKESABOUT24KEBABS3poundschickenbreast,cubedto1inch2poundsredonion,chopped2poundstomatoes,chopped5poblanopeppers,chopped4tablespoongarammasala2tablespoonshotpaprika1tablespoongroundcoriander

2tablespoonskoshersalt1tablespooncrushedredchiliflake1teaspoonturmeric

4cupsplainyogurt½cupcilantrochoppedWarmnaanbread,toserve

1.Ifyou’reusingwoodenskewers,soaktheminwaterforatleast2hours.Thenthreadthechicken,onion,tomato,andpeppersthroughtheskewers.

2.Stir togethertheremainingingredients,exceptchoppedcilantro, inamixingbowl.Place thekebabs in a snugcontaineror carefully in a largezip-topbag.Pourtheliquidoverandletmarinateovernight.

3.Preheatyourgrilltomedium-high.Grillkebabsuntilthechickenandveggiesgetanicecharandthechickenreaches160°F.

4.Removekebabsandgarnishwithcilantro.Serveonnaan.

BEERPAIRING:RYEIPA

BUFFALOCHICKENSAUSAGE

Are Buffalo wings not convenient enough for you? Sure, they’re mobile, but having to deal withbonesissuchapain!(Blackandwhiteinfomercialshowingwingincompetency.)

OneofthefirstrecipesconceivedwithourfirstsausagestufferwasaBuffalochickenrecipe.Sincewewerenew to the sausage-makingworld,weadded ingredients that shouldn’t go in sausageandused collagen casings. It was terrible, but the idea was there, dammit! Top the greatly improvedversionwithourBlueCheeseAleSauce(page284)andyoumaynevereatBuffalowingsagain.

MAKES8SAUSAGES6poundschicken,debonedandmeatcutinto1inchcubes(keep2tablespoonsfatand2tablespoonsskin)

½tablespoonsmokedpaprika2teaspoonssalt

1teaspoonpepper2cupsBuffalosauce(page103)Porkcasing,soaked8high-qualitybratrollsBlueCheeseAleSauce(page284)

1.Afterdeboningchicken,placechickenonabakingsheetandrubwithpaprika,salt,andpepper.Thenplaceinthefreezerfor45minutes.

2. Using a coarse setting, grind the chicken into a bowl. (Tip: Place a largercontainerwithiceunderneaththebowltokeepeverythingcold.)

3.MixBuffalosauceintothegroundchicken.

4.Preparesausagestufferandmakesomefuckingsausage.

5. Age sausage uncovered in the refrigerator for 24 hours. Dry and flip thesausagesperiodically.

6.Werecommendsimmeringthesausageinabeerbathfor8minutesandthenbrownthemonthegrill.LetthemcoolafewminutesbeforeputtingontothebunandtoppingwithBlueCheeseSauce.

BEERPAIRING:IPA

WING-BAK:CHICKENWARRIOR

MAKESABOUT36WINGS4clovesgarlic,chopped2tablespoonsfreshginger,minced½cuplimejuice½cupkoshersalt

1cupvegetableoil½cupwater,hot¼cupSrirachasauce½cupsambaloelek3tablespoonsfreshginger,grated1cupsoysauce2cupspeanutbutter

4cupshoisinsauce2cupsroastedpeanuts,chopped5poundschickenwings,cutintoflatsanddrumettes½cupcilantro,chopped,forgarnish¼cuptoastedwhitesesameseeds,forgarnish1.Mixthegarlic,ginger,limejuice,salt,andvegetableoil,andpouroverthechickenwingsinacontainerorzip-topbag.Letthewingsmarinatefor4hours.

2. Add the water, Sriracha, sambal, ginger, and soy sauce to a saucepan andbringtoaboil.Removefromheat,addthepeanutbutter,andmixuntilsmooth.

3.Addthehoisinsauceandchoppedpeanutstothesauce.

4.Setupgrillfordirectheatcooking.Grill thewings, turningfrequently,untiltheskiniscrispyandthemeatiscookedtoaninternaltempatureof160°F,about10to12minutes.

5. Remove, toss with the sauce, and let rest for 5 minutes. Garnish with thecilantroandsesameseeds.

BEERPAIRING:BELGIANPALEALE

KUNGPORKRECIPEBYLUKEGELMAN

You can theoretically Kung Pao anything. The term itself is just descriptive of the Szechuanseasoningstyle,andittranslatestothesuper-badassphrase“palaceguardian”ifyou’rewondering.WechosetoKungsomedeliciousgroundpork.Wearepleasedattheresult,andithasbecomethenewguardianofourrefrigeratorpalaces.

MAKESABOUT12SAUSAGESOFFURY

FORTHESAUSAGES:5poundsgroundpork2tablespoonssoysauce1tablespoonsesameoil

1tablespoonsugar½cupsuper-chunkypeanutbutter2tablespoonscrushedredpepper

1tablespoonmincedginger1½tablespoonsmincedgarlic6feetrinsedandpreparedhogcasingsTOSERVE:1headNapacabbage,shredded2mediumcarrots,grated2bellpeppers,julienned1jalapeño,stemmedandslicedthin,coreremoved½cupricewinevinegar

1tablespoontamarisoysauce1tablespoonfreshginger,grated

1teaspoonlimejuice¼teaspoonlimezest

½teaspooncrushedredpepper(optional)¼cupsuper-chunkypeanutbutter

12bratorsubrolls1.Combine all of the sausage ingredients in a largemixingbowl.Mix lightlyuntilevenlydistributed.Placethemixintoyourfreezerforabout1½hours,untilthemeatisfirm,butnotfrozen.

2.Passthemeatthroughthegrinderusingacoarsegrindplate.

3.Stuffthegroundmixtureintoyourcasings,usingastandalonestuffer,mixerattachment,orasmallruralvillagefullofdeterminedmatrons.

4.Tomaketheslaw,tossthecabbage,carrot,bellpepper,andjalapeñotogether.

5. Mix the rice vinegar, sesame oil, tamari, ginger, lime juice, lime zest, redpepper,andremaining¼cupofthechunkypeanutbutter.Whisktogetheruntilthoroughlymixed. Ifyou’renota fanofchunkypeanut texture (youmonster),useafoodprocessor.Tosswiththeslawandsetaside.

6.Ifyou’repreparingthesausagesaheadoftimeoryou’dliketohedgetheriskof your casings splitting, gently poach in simmering water or beer until theyreach145°F,thenremoveandletcool.Otherwise,moveontothenextstep.

7. Preheat fire tomedium-high. Grill the sausages over direct heat for 4 to 5minutes, until the interior reaches 160°F. Remove, let rest for 5minutes, andserveonthebunswiththeslaw.

BEERPAIRING:BELGIANGOLDENALE

BEEFENDS

HereinChicago,wehavealotofplacesthatusegiganticaquariumsmokerstoturnlowly,unloved,cartilage-filledribtipsintosomethingaddictive.Aribtipisanoffcuttypicallydiscardedwhenthebutcheriscuttingcountry-stylespareribs.Ribtipsarehardtofindanywhereelse.Weadaptedthisrecipeabitsoyoucanexperiencethesimplejoyofawell-maderibtipandreadilyavailableshortribs.

MAKES4POUNDSOFBURNT-ENDFAUX-RIBTIPSYellowmustard,toslather

4poundsbonelessbeefshortrib2cupsofourBBQrub(page298),plus2tablespoons1½cupsapplejuice¼cupoliveoilMB(B)QSauce(page273),toserve

1.Adayorsobeforeyou’dliketocook,slatherathinlayerofyellowmustardall over the short ribs. Really get it all over. Don’t worry if you don’t likemustard—abigpart of its function is as glue for the rub.Generously sprinkleyourruballoverthemeatandputeverythingintoazip-topbag,thenplacethebagintoyourfreezer.Trustus,itaddsflavordowntheline.

2. Preheat some coals, a grill, or a smoker to a relatively cool 225°F. Add acoupleofhandfulsofhickory,cherrywood,and/orpecanchips.Really,whateverhardwoodyou’vegotaround.

3.Removemeatfromthebagandaddanothergenerouslayerofrubtothemeat.Addenoughsothattheexteriorstillappearsabitdry,ratherthanapaste.

4.Placethemeatoverthefirewhileit’sstillcold.Thiswillhelpwiththesmokeabsorption.

5.Mixtheapplejuice,oliveoil,and2tablespoonsofrubinaspraybottle.

6.Giveyourmeataquickspritzafter1hour.Giveitanotherquickspritzafteranotherhourandflipyourmeatover.

7.Onceyourmeathasanicemahoganybarktoit,wrapitinaluminumfoiland

placeitbackinthesmoker.

8.Whenyourmeathitsabout195°F,pull it fromthesmoker, remove thefoil,andapplyyourfavoriteBBQsauce.

9.Returntothefireandletthesugarsinthesaucecaramelizefor15minutes.

10.Removethemeat,re-applyMB(B)Qsauce,andrestfor15minutes.

11.Slicetheshortribsandserve.

BEERPAIRING:CREAMALE

BEEFJERKY

Thanks to national advertising and our insatiable hunger formeat, you’re nevermore than fourmilesfromaservingofbeefjerky.Peopleeatitforworkoutprotein,long-haultrucking,andinlovingmemoryofMachoManRandySavage (R.I.P.). It’s toobad thatmostofwhat’sout there isprettyawful—gloppedwithnauseatinglysweetsauce,madeofwhatappearstobelow-grademummyflesh,orpackagedwithsomethingtheycallcheese(butonceopened,turnsitsgazetoyouandthetellsyoutheexactdateofyourdeath).

Here is how youmake some delicious beef jerky over a fire: thin slices, a boldmarinade, andplenty of time.Crack abeer, thendrink it in front of the eleven otherbeers so theyknowwhat’scoming.Settle in:It’sfuckingjerkytime!(Firesrevolvers intotheair,buysKennyChesneyticketsonline.)

MAKES2ZIP-TOPBAGSFULLOFJERKY2poundsbeefloin,trimmed

1ouncecuringsalt⅛teaspoonliquidsmoke

1teaspooncrushedredpepper½teaspoonblackpepper

1.Slicetheloin,withthegrain,into⅛-inchstrips.

2.Sprinklethecuringsaltevenlybetweentheslices,placeonarackoverafoil-linedpan,andrefrigeratefor5days.

3. Remove, lightly brushwith the liquid smoke, and seasonwith the red andblackpepper.

4. See how low your oven goes. Set it to that, unless you’re lucky enough tohaveadehydrator,inwhichcase,followthedehydrator’sinstructions.Youcanalsofireupthesmokerifyoucanmanagetokeepitaround140°F.

5.Useaspoonorfoilballtokeeptheovendoorslightlyajarandletthemeatsitonwirerackorscreensfor6hours.Checkforfirmness(itshouldbeveryfirm,

butifitsnapsintwoeasily,it’sover-dried),andsettheclockforanotherhourifit’snotready.Dependingonyourmeat,thiscantakeuptohalfadayorlonger.

6. Store in plastic bags for up to a month, or wrap tightly and freeze. Say aprayerfortheMachoMan.

BEERPAIRING:ENGLISHPORTER

ELOTEWINGSRECIPEBYPATRICKMCBRIDE

What’smoreAmericanthanachefwithanIrishlastnamemakingaMexicanspecialtyintoasauceforchickenwings?Eaglesandmonstertrucks,presumably.Butyoucan’teatthosewithoutgettingintoawholebunchofshitwiththeForestryDepartment.

MAKES32WINGS

12ouncesMojoCriollomarinade1bunchcilantro,cutabovethetwisttie

4clovesgarlic3poundswings,separatedintoflatsanddrumettes(tipsdiscarded)

3packetsSazonconAzafran112-ouncepackagefrozensweetcornkernels(lookforgoldandwhitemix)1cupheavycream1cupCotijacheese

1cupmayonayseSaltandpepper,totasteTajinorchilipowder,totaste

1.CombinetheMojoCriollo,cilantro,andgarlicinablenderandliquefy.

2. Throwwings in a bowl and toss with the Sazon con Azafran until evenlycoveredandbrightorange.Pourinmarinade,cover,andrefrigerateovernight.

3.Forthesauce,heatthecorn,thenpureewithcream,Cotija,andmayo.

4.Preheatgrillmediumdirectheat.

5.Grillchicken5to8minutes,tossinsauce,sprinklewithsaltandpepper,andextraCotijaandTajin,andwithchilipowder.

BEERPAIRING:HELLESLAGER

BUTCHER’SHOTLINKS

Ifyou’veeverhadthefortunetolivebyagoodbutcherwhomakestheirownsausage,youknowthejoyofshowinguptoshopwhenthey’resamplingthenewestfreshlygroundrecipe.It’sgoodtohaveaMeatGuy.Eveninthiseraofchaingroceriesandinsufferablehipsterbutchers,therearestillhonest-to-godMeatGuysdoingfineworkfromOregontoGeorgia.Thisisourtributetothehousesausagesproducedbythatnoble,porkyguild.

MAKES1LARGE,GLORIOUSHOTLINK,OR16REGULARONES5poundsgroundpork

1tablespoonmincedgarlic1½tablespoonscayennepepper2teaspoonswhitepepper1tablespoonmace

1tablespoonsage23gramssalt(about4teaspoons,butmoreaccurately1%oftotalmeatweight)6inchrinsedpreparedhogcasings

1.Combinetheingredientsinalargemixingbowl.Mixlightlyuntileverythingisevenlydistributed.

2.Placethemixintoyourfreezerforabout1½hoursuntilthemeatisfirm,butnotfrozen.

3.Grindthemeatthroughacoarsegrindplate.

4.Stuffthesausage,pinchingandtwistingtocreateanythingfromonegloriousspiralofmeatheavento16sausagesthatcomeinatjustunderathirdofpound.

5. If you’re cooking ahead, poach the sausages in beer or water until athermometerinsertedintothecenterreaches160°F.Removeandletcookbeforeyou.

6.Grillovermedium-highfor3to5minutes,untilwellsearedoneitherside.

7.Serveitbyitself,initsowngloriousbratwurst-ygoodness.Bratwurst?MorelikebratBEST.Awyeah.

BEERPAIRING:BOCK

IZAKAYACHICKENPIECES

EvertrytodrinktenpintsoflightJapaneselagerandsingagender-swappedversionof“I’mReal”withyourbest ladyfriend?It’shardwork.Youneedthe fortifyingpowerofbarsnacks tosustainyou for another round of karaoke stardom. Quick, before the weird guy asks for Radiohead’s“Creep”andfucksuptheentirenight!

MAKES8SKEWERS1poundassortedchickenpieces(thighs,legs,breasts)¼cupsalt¼cupsugar¼cuptamari2tablespoonswhitemiso

1teaspoonmirin½teaspooncrushedredpepperflake2greenonions,slicedthinToastedsesameseeds,toserve

1.Cutchickeninto1-inchcubesandthreadontosoakedwoodormetalskewers.

2.Dissolvethesaltandsugarin1quartofwater.Addchickenpieces,cover,andrefrigeratefor20to30minutes.

3.Stirthetamari,miso,mirin,andredpeppertogether.

4.Prepareamediumheatfire.Removeyourskewersfromthebrineandpatdry.

5.Grillyourchickenskewers6 to8minutes,until eachpiece registers160°F.Brushwiththesauceandreturntothegrillfor30secondsperside,reapplyingthesauceasneeded.

6.Remove,garnishwithgreenonionsandsesameseeds,andserveimmediately.

BEERPAIRING:PILSNER

GERMANDÖNER

GermanDöNerGermansknowtheirbeer,andasaresult,theyknowdrunkfoodbetterthanmostoftheworld.Evenamongallthebeer-enhancedlatenightdishesinacountryofenthusiasticdrinkers,thedöner is tops inDeutschland.After stumbling through theBavarian village ofAmberg, loudlymangling the lyrics to“EinProsit,”wediscovered that theydo in factgogreatwith three litersofbeer.

Dönersaretypicallycookedonaverticalrotisserie,whicharetoopriceyfortheaveragecook.Soweadaptedtoatypicalkitchenscenario,becausewe’realsonotyetfreewheelingmillionaires.You’llneedabout40inchesofbutcher’stwineforthis,whichisanawesomeandmachothingtobuy,asfarasstringgoes.It’sliketheoppositeofyarn.

MAKES6DÖNERS2chickenbreasts(about1½pounds)4garliccloves,minced2½tablespoonsextravirginoliveoil,divided¼cupwholemilk

2tablespoonstomatopaste1½teaspoonschoppedfreshoregano,plus½teaspoon1tablespoonchoppedthyme,plus½tablespoon½tablespoonyellowcurry,plus½tablespoon¼teaspoonkoshersalt,plus½teaspoon

¼teaspoonblackpepper,plus½teaspoon½teaspoondriedredpepperflakes2thinly-cutvealcutlets(about½pound)DillTzatziki(page295),toserve

6pitas1headlettuce,shredded2tomatoes,cutintowedges1headredcabbage,shredded1whiteonion,slicedthin

Dill

1.Placethechickencutletsoncuttingboardandcoverwithplastic.Poundto¼-inchthicknessusingtheflatsideofameatmallet,arollingpin,oranironically-

wieldedhardcovervegancookbook.

2. Place the meat in a snug-fitting container. Mix the garlic, olive oil, milk,tomato paste, oregano, thyme, curry, salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes in amediumbowl.Pourtheliquidoverthemeat,cover,andrefrigerateforatleast4hours,turningoccasionally.

3. Combine the remainder of the olive oil, oregano, thyme, curry, salt, andpepperinasmallbowl.

4.Layfour5-inchlengthsofbutcher’sstringonacuttingboard.Placechickenbreastoverthemandcoverwithhalfoftheoliveoilmixturefromthebowl.Topwiththeveal,rollitupcarefully,andtiethestrings.Repeatwithsecondchickenbreast.

5.Setuptwo-zonefire,withahotsideandacoolerside.Grilltheroll,browningoverdirectheatandmovingtothecoolersideuntilcookedto165.

6.Letthemeatrestfor5minutes,thenslicethinlyinto½-inchstrips.

7.Spread tzatzikion thepita, and topwith themeat, lettuce,cabbage, tomato,andonion.

BEERPAIRING:KRISTALWEIZEN

TANDOORICHICKENWINGS

MAKESABOUT32WINGS3poundschickenwings,cutintoflatsanddrumettes½cupplainyogurt2tablespoonsfreshlemonjuice1tablespoonmincedgarlic1tablespoonpowderedgingerroot

1tablespoongroundcumin2teaspoongarammasala(or1teaspoongroundcoriander)½teaspoonchilipowder¼teaspoongroundcardamom¼teaspoongroundcloves¼teaspoonfresh-groundblackpepper

2teaspoonssaltVegetableoil,tobrush

1.Using a fork, generously poke the chickenwings.Using sharp knife,makesmallcutsallaroundthechickensothemarinadecanpenetrate.Setaside.

2. In amediumbowl, combine the yogurt, lemon juice, garlic, ginger, cumin,garammasalaorcoriander,chilipowder,cardamom,cloves,blackpepper,andsalt.Mixwellandaddyourchickenwings.

3.Coat thechickenevenlyand rub themarinade into thechicken flesh.Coverandrefrigerateforatleast4hours,andnomorethan30.

4.Removewingsfromthemarinade,shakingoffexcess.

5.Oil your grill, prepare amedium fire, and grill yourwings for 15minutes,turningfrequently.

6.Removeandserve.

BEERPAIRING:DUNKELBOCK

BRATSFORALL!

And that’sbecausebathsareperfect fordayswhenyouhaveacrowdcomingoverbutyou’renotsurewhenthey’recoming.Youcanrageatyourfriendsandtheirflakiness,oryoucanletthesebratsrideoverindirectheatforanafternoonsopeoplecaneatwhentheywant.Theflakieryourfriendsare,themoredelicioustheonionslurkinginthebottomofthebathwillget.

Weusethisrecipetodisposeofthecrappylight-struckgreenbottlesofskunkybeerinthebackofthefridgethatsomeonebroughtsotheycoulddrinkyourlocalbrewconscience-free.

MAKES12BRATWURSTS

4tablespoonsoliveoil5yellowonions,halvedandsliced

4tablespoonDijonmustard½teaspoonsalt1teaspoonpepper

12bratwurst6beersfromthatIslandofMisfitBeersinthebackofyourfridge

12sliceddelirollsBavarianSweetMustard(page282),toserve1.Preheatatwo-zonefire.

2.Position the foil panover thehottest part of the fire.Heat theoliveoil andsautéonionsfor4minutes.

3.AddtheDijonmustard,salt,andpeppertotheonions,toss,andbrownfor2minutes.

4.Restthebratsontheonionsandpourthebeerover.

5.Bringtosimmer,movetothecoolerside,andsimmerslowlyuntil thebratshit145°F.

6.Asyourguests are ready, take thebratsoutof thebath and sear themoverdirectheatfor2minutesperside.

7.Serveondelirollswithsweetmustardandtopwithbeer-bathedonions.

BEERPAIRING:PILSNER

CHINATOWNWINGS

VisitingMichelin-starredplacesisnice,butwetendtotakeinspirationfromtheeverydayfoodthatlivesinthecardboardleftoverboxesinourfridges.Takethesewings,forinstance—inspiredbytheseHunancumin-crustedshortribsknownasziranpaigu.Themarinadegoesgreatonalotofnon-wingproteins,sogiveitashotonwhatevermemberofthefoodchainyou’vegotinthefridge.

MAKESABOUT32WINGS2greenonions,sliceddownthecenter5slicesofginger,peeled

1teaspoonaniseseed¼cupsoysauce¼cupdrysherry1¾teaspoonssalt,divided

2cupswater3poundschickenwings,cutintoflatsanddrumettes½cupbutter6clovesgarlic,minced½cupbrownsugar½teaspoongroundwhitepepper

1tablespoongratedginger2tablespoonscuminseeds,coarselyground/crushed3Thairedchilipeppers,diced3scallions,slicedthin,togarnish1.Combinethegreenonion,gingerslices,aniseseed,soysauce,sherry,1teaspoonofthesalt,andwater.Pouroverthewingsandletmarinateforatleast4hours.

2.Prepareyourfireandoilthecookingsurface.

3.Meltthebutterinasmallsaucepanovermedium-lowheat.Sautéthegarlicinthebutterfor2minutes,thenaddthebrownsugar,whitepepper,gratedginger,cumin,chilipepper,andremainingsalt.Stiruntilthebrownsugarismeltedand

removefromheat.

4.Cookthewingsfor5to7minutesperside,untiltheyarecookedthroughandskiniscrisp.

5.Tossthewingswithsauce,thengarnishwithscallions.

BEERPAIRING:AMERICANBROWNALE

CURRYWEISSWURST

European culinary tradition is a funny thing—you can put a currywurst on a roll, stir curry intosomeketchup,andabsolutelydrenchthewholeworks,butactuallymarryingcurrytovealsausageissomehow an offense to tradition. But we’ve never been big on tradition. Sometimes bastardizingtraditionalrecipeleadstogreatflavors.

MAKES126-INCHSAUSAGES1¼poundsporkshoulder,cubed1¾poundsvealchuck,cubed½poundporkbackfat,diced2teaspoonsgroundwhitepepper1tablespooncurry1tablespoonpaprika

3tablespoonskoshersalt½teaspoongroundmace¾cupnonfatmilkpowderNaturalporkcasings,soaked

1.Laythemeatonasheetpaninasinglelayerandputintothefreezerfor30minutes,untilthemeatisfirmbutnotfrozenthrough.

2.Tossthemeatsandfattogether,attachthefinedisk,andgrindtogetherintoachilledmetalbowlplacedovericewater.

3.Mixinthespicesandmilkpowder,andgrindasecondtime.Mixagainandgrindathirdtime.

4.Put thecasingson the funnel feeder and stuff the sausages, twisting into6-inchlinks.

5. Simmer or steam the sausages until they reach an internal temperature of145°Ftoparcook.Finishimmediatelyorrefrigerate.

6.Grillorgriddlefor2minutespersidetofinish,thenservewithapretzelrollandsweetBavarianSweetMustard(page282).

BEERPAIRING:WHEATBEER

HARISSALAMBLOLLIPOPSWITHMINTEDYOGURTSAUCE

RECIPEBYJASONGILMORE

MAKES7TO8LOLLIPOPS1rackoflamb,cutintolollipops(oneboneandapieceofmeat)1cupHarissa(page286)5ouncesGreekyogurt

1tablespoonlemonjuice1tablespoonlemonzest

1tablespoonchoppedmintleavesSaltandpepper,totaste

1.Spreadtheharissaonthelamblollipopsandmarinatefor4to24hours.

2.Inasmalbowl,mixyogurt,lemonjuice,zest,andmintleavestogether.Coverandchill.

3.Preheadgrillformediumdirectheat.

4. Remove lamb lollipops from the harissa and grill until meat reaches aninternaltemperatureof145°F.

5.Removetoawirerackandcoolfor3minutesandservewithmintedyogurtsauce.

BEERPAIRING:BLACKIPA

HULI-HULICHICKEN

Remember the carbonized hot dogs and charred meat-pucks of your youth?What if the churchpicnics, the Little League banquets, and the Rotary fundraisers of your youth featured tangy,fragrantchar-grilledchickenbustingwithjuice?It’sreason1,409,382thattheHawaiianshavealegupontherestofus.

It’snotthatHawaiiandadsareanybetteratputtingmeattofire,butthesoy-forwardmarinadebrines thechickenand the freshcitrus (seriously,use freshstuff)puts itover the top.Great streetfood doesn’t have to be complicated, or secret. Just do it right once and start building your ownmystiqueasachickenwhisperer.

MAKES1ENTIRE(8PIECES)OFCHICKEN½cuptamarisoysauce,plus½cup¼cupwhitewine2tablespoonsyellowmustard,plus2tablespoons1tablespoonsesameoil

6thinslicesgingerroot1cupcrushedfreshpineappleandjuices1chicken,cutintopieces(breasts,tenders,legs,wings)¼cupketchup¼cuphoney

Juiceof1lemon1. Mix ½ cup tamari, white wine, 2 tablespoons yellowmustard, sesame oil,gingerroot,andcrushedpineapple.

2. Pour the marinade over the chicken in a snug, non-reactive container. Letmarinatefor2to4hours,turningfrequently.

3.Prepareatwo-zonefire(onehotsidedirectlyovertheheat,onesidewithnofireunderneath).

4.Strainthepineapplefromthemarinade,reserve,anddiscardthemarinade.

5. Start your sauce by mixing the remaining ½ cup tamari, ketchup, honey,lemon juice, and reserved pineapple. Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer

while your fire heats up. Stir frequently and let reduce 5 to 10minutes, untilthickened.

6. Grill the chicken, skin-side up, for 10 minutes, turning frequently, until athermometerinsertedintothethickestpartreaches150°F.Thewingswillfinishfirst,andthelegslast.Takecarenottoovercookanddryoutthebreast,whichisthecutmostvulnerabletotheheat.

7.Astheyreachtemperature,flipthechickenpiecesskin-sidedownnearertheheat.Brushthetop(non-skinside)ofthechickenpieceswiththesauceandletcookfor60to90seconds,untilsearedbutnotcharred.

8.Fliptheskinbackontothecoolersideandbrushtheskinsidewiththesauce.Coverandletcook30to45moreseconds,thenremovetoaplatter.Servewithrice,fruit,andawholelotofbeer.


PINEAPPLEBOATS

You’llhavetotakeourwordforit,butpleasebelievethatwewenttoalotofdifferentcitiesandtriedthebest,mostauthenticversionofeverythingtofindthebestdishesforthisbook.Thatbeingsaid,oneofthethingswereallyfellinlovewithalongthewaywasthismethodofcookingandserving—astraight-up1950stouristdishtheystillserveattheKonaHiltontothisday.Weaddedalittlesavoryto it, but if you’re serving a bunch of Brady Bunch Goes Hawaiian re-enactors in your home(WHY?!),thiswillhititoutofthepark.

MAKES82pineapples,quarteredthroughthecore

8tablespoonsbutter¾cupwhitewine¼cuptamari

1. Starting at the bottom (non-leaf) edge of each pineapple quarter, cuthorizontallybeneaththecoretoseparatefromtheflesh.Don’tseverthecoreatthetop(leafside)-it’sgoingtokeepthetopofyourpineapplefromdryingout.

2.Cutthefleshunderneaththecoreverticallyeveryhalfinch,cuttingto(butnotthrough)thehusk.Everythingshouldstillbeattachedwhenyou’redone.

3.Meltthebutterissmallsaucepanandstirinthewhitewineandtamari.Keepwarm.

4.Preheatafiretwo-zonefire(like,say,yourHuliHulifire).

5.Wrapthepineappleleavesinaluminumfoiltokeepthemfromcatchingfire.

6.Grill thepineappleover indirectheat for10minutes,basting twicewith thesauce.

7.Iftheedgesofthepineapplehaven’tbeguntocaramelize,movedirectlyoverthe heat. If they have, then stay the course. Baste again and cook another 5minutes.

8.Removefromtheheat,carefullytakeoffthefoil,andholdcoveredinawarmovenuntilit’stimetoserve.


FIGANDPIGSANDWICHRECIPEBYJASONGILMORE

Roulade.Goaheadandsayitoutloud:roo-lawd.Suredoessoundfancy,butyou’veprobablycookedonebefore.Itmeansmeatthat’sbeenfilledandrolled.Inthiscase,capicolaandfigs.Thisroulademakesagreatsandwich,andevenabetteronewhenabarrel-agedbeerisusedinplaceoftheporterfortheglaze.

MAKES6SANDWICHES15driedfigs4ouncesbalsamicvinegar

12ouncesporter1tablespoondarkchilipowder,divided3ouncesmaplesyrup4ounceshotcapicola

1porkloinPorterBeerMustard(page294)3cupsbabyarugula

6hoagierolls1.HalveandstemthefigsandcoverwithBalsamicvinegar.Allowtosoak12to24hours.

2.Removefigsfromthevinegarandmash intoapaste. (Save thevinegar, it’sgood!)

3. Ina small saucepan,bring theporter andhalfof thechilipowder toaboil.Reduceheatandsimmeruntilthebeerhasreducedbyabouthalf.Addthemaplesyrupandseasonwithsaltandpepper.Removefromheadandkeepwarm.

4.Butterflyandpoundtheporkloinintoa¼-inchthickrectangle.Itshouldbe

around7incheswide.

5.Placealayerofhotcapicolaonwhatwillbetheinsideoftheroulade.

6.CovertheCapicolawiththefigpasteandseasontheinsideoftherouladewithhalfofthechilipowder.

7.Rolltheporkloinbackupandtieitwithbutcher’sstring.

8.Placetheloinoverhotcoalsandsear2to3minutesperside.Oncetheporkisseared,move it to a cooler part of the grill andbaste itwith the portermapleglaze.Continuebastingeveryfiveminutesuntil theinternal temperatureoftheloinreaches145°F.

9.Removefromthegrillandletrestfor10minutes.

10. Cut off the string and slice thin. Place onto hoagie roll, with arugula andmustard.

BEERPAIRING:ALTBIER

HARISSABUTTERGRILLEDOYSTERSRECIPEBYJASONGILMORE

MAKES24OYSTERS1stickofbutter,atroomtemperature¼cupHarissa(page286)2tablespoonsbutter1cuppankobreadcrumbs

2dozenoysters2lemons,cutintowedges

1.Mixbutterand¼cupofharissa.

2. Roll the compound butter into a log in parchment paper and return to therefrigeratortore-harden.

3. Meanwhile, melt the 2 tablespoons butter in a pan and add the pankobreadcrumbs.Toastuntilgoldenbrown.

4.Shuckoystersandleavetheminthehalfshell.

5.Placetheoystersovermediumdirectheatonthegrill,topingthemwithapatof theharissabutter.When the liquid in theoystersbegins tobubble, theyareheatedthrough.

6.Remove fromgrill.Top theoysterswith the toastedbreadcrumbsand servewithlemonwedges.

BEERPAIRING:RAUCHBIER

SMOKEDPORCHETTA

Theysay it takesavillagetoraiseachild.Nowimagine if thatchildwasaporkloinwrappedinaporkbellyandsmokedforhours.Wegrabbedourpig-lovingestfriendsandcametogethertocreateabigfatparkrollsmokedwithamixtureofapplewoodandhickory.We’resoproudofourlittlepiggy.

MAKES1PORCHETTA3tablespoonsfennelseeds1teaspoonjuniperberries

1teaspoonwholecoriander2tablespoonscrushedredpepperflakes2tablespoonssageleaves,minced1tablespoonfreshrosemary,minced1tablespoonfreshoregano,minced3clovesgarlic,crushed⅓cupextra-virginoliveoil12to3poundcenter-cutporkloin,excessfattrimmed15to6poundskin-onporkbelly

1.Toastthefennelseeds,juniper,coriander,andredpepperovermediumheatinadryskilletuntilfragrant,about2minutes.Removefromheatandletcool,thenfinegrind.

2. Add the fresh herbs to the ground spices and grind again. Then add garlicclovesandgrind.Finally,addtheoliveoilandmixintoapaste.

3.Placetheloinoverthebellyandtrimsothatthemeatsareroughlyuniforminsize,withthebellyslightlylonger.

4.Laytheporkbellyskin-sidedownandscoreagrid¼inchdeeponfleshsideofthebelly.Flipitoverandpokeadozenholesorsointheskin.Tenderizeskinwiththepyramidsideofameattenderizer,makingthreepassesovertheskin.

5.Rub the spice paste on the insideof the belly and loin.Roll it up carefullyfromtheshortersidesofthemeat.Trusstherollwithbutcher’sstring,wrappingthestringaroundthemeatatevery1½inchinterval.

6. Place the porchetta in your refrigerator, uncovered, for 24 hours. Take themeatoutoftherefrigerator2hoursbeforesmoking.

7.Preheatyoursmokerto225°F.

8. Smoke at 225°F until internal temperature reaches 150°F, which will takeanywherefrom5to7hours,dependingonthesizeandfatdistributionofyourmeat.Whenthetemperaturehits145°F,preheatgrilltomedium-highdirectheat.

9.Timetocrispuptheskin.Taketheporkfromthesmokerandplaceitontothegrill.Grill,slowlyrotatingastheskinturnsdarkbrownandcrispy,forabout10minutes.

10.Removeandletrestfor30minutes.

11.Youdid it,man!Doublepigmeat!Allyourenemieswill rue theday theycrossedyou!MaybemakeadeliciousPigwich(page269)outofit?That’llshowthem.That’llshowALLOFTHEM.

BEERPAIRING:WEIZENBOCK

SMOKEDPORCHETTACONSTRUCTION

VOLTRON:THESANDWICHRECIPEBYGERRYMCLOUGHLIN

We took the best things we liked from banh mi (pickled vegetables), tortas (bolillo rolls), andchurrasco (skeweredmeat) to create thisultimate sandwich that fights for justice and freedom. Inspace.

MAKES4SANDWICHES1cucumber,peeledandslicedthin2jalapeños,slicedthin1mediumredonion,slicedthin1cupricevinegar1cupsugar

1cupwater¾cupoliveoil1tablespooncilantro,chopped1tablespoonflatleafparsley,chopped1garlicclove,chopped1lime,juiced½tablespoondriedchipotlepowder½tablespoonpaprika½tablespoonbrownsugar½tablespooncumin1teaspoonkoshersalt

1teaspoongroundblackpepper¼teaspoononionpowder⅛teaspooncayennepowder2poundssteaktenderloin,cutinto1inch-widestrips4bolillorolls,split

2tablespoonsfreshcilantroleaves

1.Placethecucumber,jalapeños,andredonioninaheat-proofcontainer.

2.Mixthericevinegar,sugar,andwaterinasaucepanovermediumheat.Bringtoaboil,stirringfrequently,until thesugardissolves.Removefromheat,pour

overvegetables,andcoverforatleast20minutes.Coverandrefrigerate.

3.Combinetheoliveoil,limejuice,choppedcilantro,garlic,andparsley.Pouroversteakandletmarinateforatleast2hours,preferablyovernight.

4. Mix the dry ingredients, remove steak from the marinade and rub withseasoning. If you’re using wood skewers, soak them in water for at least 20minutes, because…youknow,wood and fire.Eitherway, skewer andpre-heatyourgrillformediumdirectheat.

5.Grilltheskewersfor3½minutesperside.

6.Onbolillobreadpileup the steak, topwithpickledvegetables, andgarnishwithcilantro.


HAHAHAHAHAYOULOSEIDIOTSWINGS

Everattendabarbecuecompetition?They’reawholelotoffun,buttheydoattracttheoddobsessiveweirdo.Andsometimes thosepeoplemake funof the fact thatyoushowedupwith two tinycheapsmokersandastaggeringamountofbeer.Andthenyoudrinktoomuch,leavethewingsonthepit,andarisejustintimetobeatallofthemwiththesewings.That’samostlytruestory!

Anyway,ifandwhenthathappenstoyou,theimportantpartistobegraciousandactlikeyou’vebeentherebefore.Hencethetitleofthisrecipe.Asyou’llnotefromthis,barbecuejudgeslikesweet.

MAKESABOUT32WINGS3poundchickenscutintoflatsanddrumettes

2cupsblackpepper¾cupkoshersalt¼cupseasonedsalt(Lawry’s,Tiger,etc.Yourpick.)½cupsugar¼cupdarkbrownsugar(plus½cup)¼cupgranulatedgarlic¼cupgranulatedonion¼cupsmokedsweetHungarianpaprika8tablespoonsbutter

1cupbrownsugar1½cupsMB(B)QSauce(page273)Peanutoil,tobrush

1.Mixthepepper,salts,sugars,garlic,onion,andpaprikainabowlandshaketocombine.

2.Coatwingsinthespicerubandletthemsitovernight.

3.Awaken,openabeer,andgetyoursmokertoareliable225°F.

4. Add thewings and a pan of ice (for humidity, so thewings take onmore

smoke),andsmokeforabout90minutes,untilthey’rejustaboutat165°F.

5. Heat a separate grill for direct heat. Scrape and oil the grates. Prepare forgrate-ness,ifyouwill.

6.Mixthebutter,brownsugar,andbarbecuesauceinamediumsaucepan.

7.Rubthewingswiththepeanutoilandgrilloverdirectheatfor90secondsto2minutes,untiltheskiniscrisp.

8.Remove thewings, tosswith a quarter cup of the sauce, addingmore untilyou’vereachedyourhappylevelofsaucesaturation.PackintoaStyrofoamboxand send it out into the world. You’re so proud of your little champions.Hopefullyyousavedenoughforyourself.

BEERPAIRING:IPA

GRILLEDFISHTACOSRECIPEBYEDKOWALKI

Wannaknowwhat’s ahugebummer?Bad fish tacos.Moreoften thannot, it’s a couple fried fishsticksthrownintoasoggyflourtortillaandtoppedwithlettuceandsomekindofsalsa.Bythetimeitgetstoyourtable,condensationand/orfryeroilhaverenderedthetortillatotally inedible,andyouhavetoeatthedamnedthingswithafork.Afork!Nomore.Todaywereclaimtheartform.

MAKES8TACOS1poundwhiteflakyfishlikemahimahi,tilapia,orwahoo¼cupcanolaoilJuiceandzestof1lime

1tablespoonanchochilepowder1jalapeñopepper,coarselychopped¼cupfreshcilantroleaves86-inchflourtortillas,warmedGrilledFruitandSweetCornSalsa(page296)1headradicchio,shredded

Sourcream,togarnish1largeredonion,thinlysliced,togarnishGreenonions,thinlyslicedonabias,togarnishCilantroleaves,roughlychopped,togarnish1.Placethefishinamedium-sizedbowl.Whisktogethertheoil,limejuiceandzest,chilipowder,jalapeño,andcilantroandpouroverthefish.Marinatefor15to20minutes.

2.Setupagrillfordirect,medium-highheat.Cleanandoilthegrate.

3. Remove fish from marinade and place on grill. Grill for approximately 4minutes,thenflipandgrillfor30seconds.Removefromheatandletrestfor5minutes,thenflakefishwithafork.

4. Divide fish among the warmed tortillas and topwith salsa, radicchio, sourcream,onions,andcilantro.

BEERPAIRING:PILSNER

OVENEverybuddingcookwhoobsessesover the latesthotchefs and restaurants—and, god forbid, self-appliesthe title “Chef” to their Twitter account despiteworkingininsuranceandbloggingontheside—wantsto cook with hot, sexy techniques. Sear this steak!Char that tuna! Liquid nitrogen these meatballsbecauseIwatchtoomuchYouTubeandIdon’tknowwhat the fuck I’m doing!Meanwhile, you’ll just besitting here making incredible food with your oldreliableoven.

The bad news is that ovens don’t look good onTV,andovenrecipesdon’treallydoanythingonTV.Jon Taffer and Gordon Ramsey can’t call an ovenstupidandmakeitcry.Soit’sleftbehindthefoodTVtidalwavefortherestofustofigureout.

Thegoodnewsisthatwithaminimumofprep,afewneattricks,andthetimetowaitouttheresult,youcan make a week’s worth of delicious food whilemostly sitting on your ass being unproductive. Sincemeat proteins stop denaturing after 222°F, the ovengivesyoutheadvantageofsittingrightonthatsweetspot and cooking some of the most tender, mostdelicious meat of your life without having to figureoutthevagariesofasmoker’shotandcoolspotsordoguesswork on feeding in the fuel. That said, thesetimes and temperatures also translate for hardwoodsmoking, if you’re so inclined. We might even callyouahero.

If you’re looking for an oven, go for somethingelectric. Gas has to cycle on and off to hit a targettemperature, while electric ovens keep a steadiertemperature. If you findyourself falling in lovewith

thecontrolandtimingofovencooking,you’rejustashortwalkfromthesous-videobsessionthatwe’rearecurrently struggling with. All great passions beginwithdeliciousmeats.

BACON(JUSTREGULAR-ASSBACON)

This is an incredibly stupid recipe. The reason we put it in here, though, is that we’re not yetconvincedthateveryhumanbeingwiththecapabilitytoreadEnglishknowsofthebacon-in-the-oventechniqueyet.It’sgoodtohaveonhandforrecipesthatassumeyouhaveperfectly-cookedbacon.

Onedaysoon,you’llbetalkingtoafood-mindedfriendofyours,andyou’llsay,“Ican’tbelievethese assholes wrote and published a recipe that’s just putting bacon in the oven at 400°F for 15minutestogetperfectlycrispbaconandbeautifullyrenderedfat.”Andatthatmoment,you’llrealizewediditonpurposetohelpyoulearn.Andyou’llshedasingletear,createtheEdwardJamesOlmosStandandDeliverAwardforRadTeaching,andpresenttheinauguralawardtous.


2.Linehalf sheetbakingpanwithparchmentpaperand lay8 slicesofbacon,evenlyspacedapart.Bakeuntilcrispy,around15minutes.Setaside.

3.Stand(atthetable)anddeliver(bacon).


CANDIEDBACON

Candiedbaconhadamomentinthesunafewyearsback,butitseemslikepeoplegotkindofpissedthat theykeptburning it in searchof crispyand sweetbacon.That’s just theproblem—you can’treallyhaveboth.Thesugarsandthebaconfatkindofworkagainsteachother.

Instead, double down on the fatty, porky taste complementing your sweet, smokey spice rub.Grabthicker-cutbacon,drownitinrub,andtakeitoutoftheovenjustasitachievesperfectchewy,sweetporkiness.OurfavoritehonkytonkinChicago(incidentallynamedHonkyTonk)treatsitlikethisandlaysitoverthetopofacheap,coldglassofbeer.Noone’severgottenpissedatthat.

MAKES1POUNDOFDELIGHTFULBACONTREATS1cupdarkbrownsugar1teaspoonmustardpowder

1teaspoonsmokedsweetpaprika½teaspooncayennepepper1poundthick-slicedbacon,cutinhalf


2.Mixthebrownsugar,mustard,paprika,andcayenne.

3.Dredgethebaconinthespicerub,setonawirerackoverafoil-linedpan,andbakefor10minutes.Removefromtheoven,flip,andbakeanadditional10to15minutes.Removeandservehot.

BEERPAIRING:AMERICANBARLEYWINE

CUBANMOJOPORK

Thisisagreat“week’sworthofsandwiches”recipefromareasonablycheapcutofmeat.UseitonourCubano(page28),Medianoche(page30),andanythingelsesufferingfromalackofpork.

Acaveataboutthepork—ifit’sfromareputablebutcher,cookingitto145°F(insteadofthelong-held165°F)isacompletelyreasonablethingtodo.EventheFDAsaysso.Butifthisischeapmeat,erronthesideofcaution.AndmaybefindanewMeatGuy.

14-poundbonelessporkloin

2teaspoonsmokedsweetSpanishpaprikaCubanMojoSauce(page288),tomarinate


2. Slice halfway through the pork loin, opening it like a book.Repeat that oneither side of the original slice, then again through the remaining ridges, untilyou’veflattenedoutthepork.

3.Rubbothsideswiththepaprika,thenwiththemojosauce.

4.Laytheslicedloinflatoverpreparedlengthsofbutcher’stwine,totruss,anddistributeanyloosegarlicpiecesoverthetopofthepork.

5.Rolltheloinuptightlyandtieoff.Placeonarackoverafoil-linedsheetpan.

6. Roast the pork for 1½ hours, until the internal temperature reaches 145°F.Removeandrestfor15minutes.

7.Removethestringandsliceorshavethin.Servewithblackbeans,rice,andplantains,oraspartofaCubano.

BEERPAIRING:DOPPLEBOCK

CHEESE-RICHOCEANINLETBISCUITS

Thisisarecipewe’vehadforsometime,forwardedtousbysomeonewholikelystoleitfromoneofthose “Restaurant Secrets!”websites,who stole it fromDardenRestaurants,who took it from theoriginalbeach seafood shackowners,whooverthrew the sovereigngovernmentofCheddarBay tounearththesecretsinthefirstplace.Somuchbloodshedandtheyjustgivethemaway.Thehorror.

MAKESABOUT12BISCUITS4tablespoonsfrozenbutter,grated,plus4tablespoonmeltedbutter2½cupsdropbiscuitmix

1cupgratedsharpcheddar½teaspoongarlicpowder¾cupcoldwholemilk¼teaspoonparsley


2.Work the butter into the biscuit mix with your fingertips, until it’s evenlydistributedintopea-likeclusters.Don’toverworkandmeltitwithyourhands.

3.Addthecheddarandgarlicpowder,thenstirinthemilkuntiljustcombined.Clumpsarefine—thesearenotprettybiscuits.

4.Dropthebiscuitsontoagreasedbakingsheeta¼cupatatime,leavingspacein between for the magic of baking. Otherwise you’ll end up with anunsatisfyingnetworkofcodependentbiscuits.

5. Bake 15 minutes, then check on their progress. If you can do it withoutopeningtheoven,that’sprobablyideal.

6.Ifthebiscuitsarestillpale,keepbakingforanothercoupleofminutes.Iftheylookafinetributetomaritimebiscuitry,thentakethemoutoftheoven.

7.Brushthebiscuitswiththemeltedbutterandseasonthebiscuitsimmediatelyafterwiththeparsleyandgarlicpowder.

CORNISHPASTY

Thisdish is fromMichiganbywayofCornwall—Cornishminersdeveloped thedish inWalesandbroughtitovertotheLooksLikeaMittenStateduringtheCornishDiasporaoftheeighteenthandnineteenthcenturies.Listentous,droppingtermslike“CornishDiaspora”inameatpierecipe.It’slikeanepisodeofFrasierinhere.

Youcanmakeawholebunchoftheseandeasilyreheatthem.It’sagreatdishtotaketowork.Like,say,inamine.

MAKES4PASTIES1russetpotato,diced1largecarrot,diced1mediumyellowonion,diced½poundofribeye,trimmedandcutinto½-inchcubes

2teaspoonsWorcestershiresauce1teaspoonMarmite(optional)2teaspoonskoshersalt

1teaspoonblackpepper48-inchroundsofpuffpastry1egg,beatenwith1tbspofwater1.Preheattheovento400°F.

2.Placethepotato,carrot,andonioninamediumsaucepan,coverwithwater,andbringtoaboil.Letcook90seconds,thendrainandspreadouttocoolonasheetpan.

3. In a large bowl, mix the cooled vegetables with the beef, Worcestershire,Marmite,salt,andpepper.Tosstoevenlycoat.

4.Divide themeatmixture evenly between the four pastry circles. Fold over,crimptheedges,andlayoutonanoiledbakingsheet.

5.Beattheeggwith1tablespoonofwater.Brushthepastieswitheggwashand

placeintheovenfor15minutes.

6. Lower the oven temperature to 350°F and bake for another 30 minutes.Remove, let cool, andserve immediately.Thenhiho,hiho, it’sback toworkyougo.

SESAMESTEAKMANAPUA

Hawaiistandsatthecrossroadsofadozen-plusdifferentculinarytraditions.It’snotallSpam,fishcakes,andpoi,thoughthere’snothingwrongwith…liketwoofthose.ManapuaisalocaltakeontheChinesebaoandcanbeeitherbakedorsteamed.We’remakingasoft,sweetmilkbreadversionthatwillcomeoutofyourovenliketheflourishofareallydeliciousmagictrick.

MAKES16BUNS½cupsesameoil

2tablespoonsroastedsesameoil⅔cupsoysauce½cupsugar10garliccloves,minced1½-inchlengthofginger,peeledandgrated

1teaspoondriedchiliflakes1½poundsbeeftenderloin,cutinto1-inchcubes10radishes,julienned½cupwater½cupsugar

1cupricewinevinegar8greenonions,charred(onagrilloroveryourstoveburner)andsliced¼cuppluckedcilantro1portionHawaiianMilkBreaddough(Page287)2eggs2tablespoonswholemilk

1tablespoontoastedsesameseeds

1. In a zip-top bag or other container large enough for themeat, combine thesesameoils,soy,sugar,garlic,ginger,andchiliflakes.Pouroverthemeatandmarinateforatleast4hours.

2.Placetheradishesinaheatproofcontainerwithalid.Makethepicklingliquidbymixingthewater,sugar,andricewinevinegartogetherinsaucepan.Bringtoaboil,stirringtodissolvesaltandsugar.Removefromtheheat,andpourovertheradishes.Coverandletsitatroomtemperatureforatleast4hours.

3.Removethemeat,discardmarinade,andgrill3minutesperside,untilrare.

4.Coarselychopthecookedbeef,greenonions,andcilantro.Draintheradishes.It’salmosttimetostuffsomebuns.

5.Splitthedoughinto16equalparts.Ifyoudon’thaveascalebecauseofsomemistakensuperstitionthatthey’llstealyoursoul,thentheeasiestwaytodothisistorollthedoughintoaball,splititinhalfwithaknife,thenrollthosehalvesintoballsandsplitthoseinhalf.Thenagain,andagain,untilyou’releftwith16doughballsroughlythesamesize.

6.Measure even portions ofmeat, green onions, cilantro, and radishes beforeyoustartrolling.Thiswillmakerollsuniformandensuresyouwon’trunoutoffilling.

7.Onebyone,rolldoughballsflatinto5-inchdiametercirclesandplacefillingin the center. Draw the dough around the filling and crimp closed at the top.Place crimped-side down on parchment-lined baking sheet. Repeat with theremainingbuns.

8.Looselycoverthesheetwithplasticwrapandletrisefor1hour.

9.Preheatyourovento400°F.

10.Make an eggwashbybeating the eggs andmilk.Uncover thebunsbrushwitheggwash,andsprinklewithsesameseeds.

11.Placebakingsheets inovenand immediately turn the temperaturedownto350°F.Bakeuntilgoldenbrown,about18minutes.

12.Remove,letcoolfor5minutes,thenseehowmanyyoucaneatatonce.

BEERPAIRING:SPICEDBEER

YUCATANPORKRECIPEBYEFRAINCUEVAS

With large, cheapcutsofmeat, if it’sworth cooking, it’susuallyworth cookinga lot of foruse ineverything from Tamales (page 227) to Steamed Bao (page 245). Our slow-cooked version of theMexican cochinita pibil is the apex of this “let’s cook a whole ton of this and eat for a week”philosophy.Tryitineverythingyoumake.We’darguethatevenamilkshakewouldbeimprovedbythepresenceoffragrant,savorypork.

Ifyoulookatthisandwonderwhereinthehellyou’resupposedtofindbananaleavesorannattoseeds, they’re both at the nearestMexican grocery store, the leaves are in the freezer section.Wealreadycalledforyou,even.Botharesub-two-dollaringredients,andbothwilllastyouafewtimescookingthis.

MAKESABOUT6TO7POUNDSOFPORK8-9poundporkbutt½cupfreshlysqueezedorangejuice¼cupfreshlimejuice⅓cupapplecidervinegar10clovesgarlic,peeled3tablespoonsgroundannattoseed2tablespoonskoshersalt1tablespoondriedoregano

2teaspoonsblackpepper1packagebananaleaves,defrosted1.Preheatyourovento300°F.

2.Pureetheorangejuice,limejuice,vinegar,garlic,annatto,salt,oregano,andpepperinablender.

3.Linethebottomofalarge,deeproastingpanwithabananaleaf.Layanother,largeroneontopofthat,withtheendsstickingoutfromeitherend.Placeonemore large leaf perpendicular to the last one, with the crisscrossed leavesstickingoutofbothendsofthepan.

4.Droptheporkintotheleaves,pouroverthemarinade,andfoldovertoencase.

5.Coverpanwithfoilandroastfor5hoursuntilforktender.

BEERPAIRING:LAGER

BEEFONWECK

BeefonWeckisoneofthosereallysimplerecipesthat’sconsistentlydeliciousenoughtogetacult-like regional following.We’re always fascinated by these not-quite-famous city classics. Ever hearsomeonecallaBuffaloWildWings“BW3”?It’sbecausetheystartedoutasBuffaloWildWings&Weck.Sadly,theWeckprovedlesspopularthansweet,facescaldychickenandwateryBudLight,soitwasdropped.

The dish itself is a thin-sliced top round, served on a kummelweck roll with horseradish anddragged through the beef jus. A kummelweck is just a Kaiser roll studded with pretzel salt andcaraway.TheBuffalobarownerwhoinventedthiswasclearlytryingtosellalotofbeertosomeverythirstypeople,anddamnifitisn’tgreatbeerfood.

Dependingonthesizeandqualityofyourroast,youmayormaynotgetquitetheamountofjusyou’regoingafter.Noworries–ifyoucomeupshortattheend,justputtheroasteronthestovetopandstirinsomebutter,whitewine,and/ordemiglacewiththeroasttrimmings.

MAKES12SANDWICHES3poundstoproundroast,trussed

2tablespoonspeanutoil¼cupkoshersalt,plusmore3tablespoonsblackpepper

2tablespoonscarawayseed2tablespoonspretzelsalt(orthecoarsestsaltyoucanfind)1tablespooncornstarch

12KaiserrollsPreparedhorseradish,toserve

1. Preheat your oven to 325°F and brush the roastwith the peanut oil. Covergenerouslywithsaltandpepper,trussforevencooking,andplaceonarackover

afoil-linedroastingpan.

2.Cook for 1½ hours (25 to 30minutes per pound is a good rule.Check theinternal temperature with a meat thermometer and remove from the oven at130°F.

3. Remove the meat from the oven and let rest. Meanwhile, raise the oventemperatureto350°F.

4.Mixthecarawayseedsandsaltinasmallbowlandsetaside.

5.Bringacupofwatertoaboilinasmallsaucepan.Mixthecornstarchwithatablespoonofwatertocreateaslurry,thenpourtheslurryintotheboilingwater.Cook,stirring,forabout1minuteuntilitthickensandcancoataspoon.

6. Place the Kaiser rolls on a baking sheet and brush with the thickenedcornstarchmixture.Sprinkle the topsof therollswith thesalt/carawaymixtureand bake 3 to 5 minutes, until the cornstarch mixture dries and affixes theseasoningtotherolls.

7.Slicethebeefthinandpourthepandrippingsintoasmallbowl.Ifthereisn’tquiteenough,mixwithdemi-glaceand/orwhitewine ina small saucepanandbringtoabriefsimmer.

8. Split the kimmelweck rolls, drag the tops through the jus, and serve withhorseradish.

BEERPAIRING:PORTER

BIGKAHUNAPORKBELLYBURGERSRECIPEBYKENHAYNES

Inaskingaftertheoriginsof thisdish,wewerepresentedwithadetailedseriesof footnotesontherecipe’s development.Clearly, theywerewritten by amadman.But if you believe everything youhear,thentherecipeanddishis/was:• Inspiredbytheetchingfoundonatabletintheburialchamberofa Pharaoh, at the foot of a statue glorifying amischievous demi-god • Banned in all but three NATOcountries• Abletounlockanydoorintheworld• Originallypartofthefirstdraftfromtherebelbaronsresponsible for the creation of theMagna Carta • Partially to blame for low voter turnout in the 1996presidential election • Roughly the size and shape of a proper hat for an organ grinder’s monkey• EquivalenttothirtyarmiesinastandardgameofRiskENJOY!

MAKES30MINIBURGERS¼cupSriracha10clovesgarlic,smashed

6tablespoonsdicedfreshginger6scallions,whitepartonly,sliced½mediumonion,diced2tablespoonsfreshthymeleaves3tablespoonssoysauce2tablespoonsDijonmustard4teaspoonsricevinegar4teaspoonssugar8cloves2teaspoonsgroundallspice3teaspoonsblackpeppercorns2teaspoonsgroundcoriander2teaspoonsgroundcinnamon1teaspoongroundnutmeg

1teaspoonkoshersalt3poundsporkbelly,skinremoved30sliderbunsorHawaiianrollsPickledPineappleRelish(page293),toserveSlicedwhiteonion,toserve

1.Mix themarinade ingredients (everything from theSriracha to the salt) and

whisk tocombine.Place thebelly inasnugcontaineror largezip-topbagandpourovermarinade.Letmarinateatleast4hours,oruptoovernight.

2. Roast (or smoke!) the pork belly at 225°F for 1 hour and 15 minutes perpoundoruntiltheinternaltemperaturecomesupto160°F.Takeitto180°For190°Fifyou’vegotthetime.That’sjustmeltierporkforyou,captain.

3.Allowthemeattorestfor15minutesbeforeslicinginto3-inchstripsagainstthegrain,andthenagainintobite-sizedpieces.

4.Optional:Crisponagriddleor in a skilletwith1 tablespoonofoil for thatincomparablestreetmeattexture.

5. Serve a couple of slices of porkon each roll, garnishedwith the relish andonions.

6.Eatthatburger.Makeanother.Eatthatone.Repeatuntilblindnesssetsin.

BEERPAIRING:WEIZENBOCK

NO.4½BROCCOLISUB

That’s right.We—the people whomade a life-size replica of the Stanley Cup out of meat—havethrownour lot inwithasubsandwichfeaturingavegetableas themain ingredient.You’dhavetoimaginethatthisissomekindofkickasssandwichtomakeustakeleaveofoursenses.Andyou’dberight.Wewereskepticalasanywhenwewereconvincedto takeavisit toNYC’sNo.7Sub.Theyhavemeatonthemenu.It’srightthere,nexttothebroccoli-heavysandwichpeoplearetryingtotrickusintoordering!Ouractualwordswere“Broccolisub?Butwhy?”

But the thing is, it works. We’ve forgotten hundreds of mediocre meat-filled subs, but we’llalwaysrememberthissub’ssneakattackofpureflavor.

We don’t have the years of experience to claim that this is the real deal, but we’d say we’re4.5/7thsofthewaythere.

MAKES4SUBS115-ouncecanoflychees,pittedandchopped3clovesgarlic,minced1shallot,diced¼teaspoonsesameoil

1teaspoonrawsugar2driedThaibirdseyechilis,chopped2greenonions,greenandwhiteparts,slicedthin

1cupwhitevinegar1¼poundsbroccoli,cutintoflorets¼cupcrushedpeanuts¼cuppinenutsMayonnaise,tospreadontherolls4Italianrolls,split⅓poundsaltedricotta(ricottasalata),gratedFriedShallots(page274)1.Inamediumbowl,mixthechoppedlycheeswiththegarlic,shallot,sesameoil,sugar,chilis,greenonions,andvinegar.Setaside.

2.Steamthebroccoliinasteamerbasketor(GASP!)themicrowavefor4to5minutes,untilsoftandjustcooked.

3.Toastthepeanutsandpinenutsinadryskilletovermedium-lowheat,tossing

frequently,untiltoasted—about5minutes.

4.Preheatyourbroiler,andlineabakingpanwithfoilandawireracktobuildyour sandwich empire upon. Split the sub rolls, spread both sideswithmayo,thenplacethebottomsonthebakingsheetrack.Buildeachsandwichbyevenlydividing,inorder,halfthetoastednuts,thebroccoli,thelycheemix,therestofthenuts,andthericotta.

5.Broilfor2to3minutes,untilthecheesebeginstomeltandthebreadcrispsabitaroundtheedges.

6.Removefromtheovenandfinishthesandwichwithshallotringsandthetophalfofthebread.Pressdown,sliceinhalf,andgototown.

BEERPAIRING:BELGIANWILDALE

FARMHOUSEPIZZADOUGH

Onceupon a time,we needed to use a not-so-great-tasting home-brewedbeer in a recipe, becausedrinkingitwasanunpleasantprospect.Mistakeshappen,andwerollwiththepunches.Andsinceatypicalhomebrewbatchis5gallons,wefoundourselvessubstitutingoff-flavoredbeersforwaterinawholelotofdifferentrecipes.Theabsolutebestresultwasthisdamntastypizzacrust,whichgotevenbetterwhenqualitybeerwasused.

Afterexperimentationwithmanylightlagers,stouts,andIPAs,theperfectbeerwasfound:SofiefromGooseIsland.Soifyou’remakingthisyourself,lookforaBelgianfarmhouseale.

MAKESFOUR7-INCHPIZZAS,ORTWO14-INCHPIZZAS1¼ouncespackageactivedryyeast3cupsall-purposeflour

1teaspoonsalt1cupbottledconditionedfarmhouseale

2tablespoonsoliveoil1½tablespoonshoney¼cupcornmeal

1. Agitate yeast sediment from bottom of bottle before pouring. Heat beer to100°Fandsprinkletheyeastoverthetop.Allowtositandprooffor15minutes.

2.Place3½cupsflourinuprightmixerbowlandaddsalt.

3.Usingadoughhookontheloweststirsetting,slowlyaddthebeerandyeastmixture,oliveoil,andhoney.Stiruntilallingredientsareevenlymixed.

4.Kneadonlowfor8minutes.Ifthedoughisstickingtobowl,addatablespoonofflouratatimeuntilit’snolongersticking.Ifthedoughisflakingapart,addthebeerthat’sleftinthebottleateaspoonatatimeuntilthedoughisnolongerflaking.

5.Set thedough intoagreasedbowl (freezehalfof thedoughfor lateruse, ifyou’dlike)andcoverwithplasticwrap.Letriseatroomtemperaturefor2hours,

thenrefrigerateovernight.

6.Removethebowlfromtherefrigeratorandletitwarmfor30minutesbeforerollingout.Splitthedoughinto2evenballs,thenflatteneachballintoa14-inchcircleonasurfacedustedwithcornmeal.Pokeholesallover thecrustusingafork.

GRILLEDDUCKPESTOPIZZA

Honingintheskillstogrillapizzamaytakelongerthanfiguringouthowtoexecutetheperfectsteak.Manyprefertocookpizzaonastoneorpanbutourpuristselvessaythrowitdirectlyonthegrillgrates. Sure, youmayburn somedoughwhile figuring out timing, butwho cares—you’remakingpizzaonthegrill.

MAKESA14-INCHPIZZA½cupcornmeal½portionofFarmhousePizzaDough(page193)1½cupsfreshPesto(page292)1cooked,slicedduckbreast

8ouncesfontinacheese,shredded

1.Preheatgrilltomedium.

2.Spreadcornmealoveracleansurface,splitthedough,androllintotwo7-inchcircles.Smallerpizzaswillmakeflippingmucheasier.Ifyouhaveastoneyoucandoone14-inchpizza.

3.Havealltheingredientsnexttothegrill.Thingsaregoingtostarthappeningfast.Stepawayforevenasecondandyou’llcourtdisaster.Oh,andcleanandoilthegrillgrate.

4. Lay the dough directly onto the grate and cook for around 3minutes. Thedoughwillpuffandreleaseeasilyfromgrill.

5.Flip thedough, spoonon thepesto, then topwithduckand sprinkle cheeseover the pizza. Cover the grill to melt cheese and cook for another 2 to 3minutes.

6.Removefromgrillandrestforacoupleofminutes,thensliceandeat.

BEERPAIRING:TRAPPISTALE

BRESAOLAWHOLEPEELEDTOMATOPIZZA

Wholepeeledtomatoestaketheplaceofatraditionalsauceforthisrecipe.Whymoreplacesdon’tusetheseisbeyondus.Thispizzaislayeredalittledifferentlythananormalpizzawithcheese,meat,thentomatoes,andspices.Weuselowmoisturemozzarellasincethetomatoesareniceandjuicy.Thiswillensurethatyourcruststayscrunchy.

MAKESONE14TO16-INCHPIZZAFarmhousePizzaDough(page193)2½cupsshreddedlowmoisturemozzarella10slicesbresaola,cutintostrips

128-ouncecanwholepeeledtomatoes,drained1clovegarlic,minced

1teaspoonoregano¼tablespoonoliveoil2tablespoonsfreshbasil,chopped¼teaspoonblackpepper


2.Rolloutpizzadoughandplaceonpizzapan,thenheatinovenfor3minutesuntilitstartstopuffup.

3.Remove pizza fromoven and add 2 cupsmozzarella cheese onto crust andheatuntilcheesestartstomelt,around2minutes.

4. Take pizza out again and add strips of bresaola, followedwithwhole peeltomatoes (be sure to break those babies open and spread them out) garlic,oregano,andoliveoiltoppedwithremainingmozzarella.

5.Heatuntilcheeseismeltedandcrustisbrown,10to12minutes.Addchoppedbasilandpepperandheatfor1moreminute.


PROSCIUTTOANDFIGPIZZAWITHARUGULA

Stopputtingtomatosauceonallyourpizzas.Yes,weknowitisagreatbase,butit’stimetomoveoutofyourmother’skitchenandintoyourown.Thispizzausesbalsamicsoakedfigsasabase,toppedwithsaltyprosciutto,bitterarugula,andthenabalsamicreductionmadefromthevinegarthatyousoakedthefigsin.Fullfuckingcircle.

MAKESONE14-INCHPIZZA15sun-driedfigs,stemsremoved1½cupsbalsamicvinigar1batchFarmhousePizzaDough(page193)

3cupsfontinacheese6slicesprosciutto,cutup

2cupsbabyarugula1.Soakthefigsinthebalsamicvinigarovernight.

2.Thenextday,drainthebalsamicintoasaucepan.Simmeringfor10minutes,oruntilthick.


4.Whiletheovenisheating,pulsefigsinafoodprocessoruntiljamconsistency.

5.Rolloutpizzadoughandplaceonpizzapan,thenheatinovenfor3minutesuntilitstartstorise.

6.Takeoutof theovenandspoonfigsover thecrust.Add thecheeseand topwith prosciutto. Bake for 14 minutes. During the final 30 seconds, add thearugula.

7.Removefromovenanddrizzlebalsamicreductionoverthepizza.

BEERPAIRING:BARLEYWINE

JALAPEÑOPOPPERPIZZA

John S. worked for four years at a pizza place, learning the trades of washing dishes, hosting,prepping salad bars, making pizzas, and finally retiring as the man who runs the oven. Therestaurantpushedtheenvelopeofwhatapizzacouldbe,backbeforepushingpizzaenvelopeswasatrend.Aswhathappenstomostrestaurants,the20-yearruncametotheend.Duringthefinalmonth,Johnmadeavisit tosaygoodbye to theowners.Theownerbroughthimback to thekitchen forafinalwalkthroughandletJohn’sdaughtermakeherfirstpizzaonthesamelinehedidmanyyearsbefore.Backatthetablehenoticedanewpizzaappearonthebuffetthatday,thejalapeñopopperpizza.Thelastsliceheate.Thisishistakeonthatpizza.

MAKESONE14-INCHPIZZA8ouncescreamcheese,softened

1tablespoongreentacosauce1batchFarmhousePizzaDough(page193)2cupsshreddedMontereyJackcheese3jalapeños,sliced

1cupshreddedcheddar⅓cupchoppedcookedbacon


2.Mixcreamcheeseandtacosauceinabowl.

3.Rolloutpizzadoughandplaceonpizzapan,thenheatinovenfor3minutes,untilitstartstorise.

4.Removefromovenandspreadcreamcheesemixtureontothecrust.

5.AddMonterey Jack cheese followedby sliced jalapeños.Dab cheddar overeachjalapeño.Topentirepizzawithchoppedbacon.

6. Cook pizza for 12 to 14 minutes, until crust is browned and all cheese ismelted.

BEERPAIRING:SESSIONIPA

PEARANDGORGONZOLAPIZZA

Sofarwe’veshownyouapesto,wholepeeled,creamcheese,andfigsaucedpizza.You’reprobablywonderingwhichpagetoturntoforthetomatosaucerecipe.Welp,you’renotgoingtofindit.We’vetakensauceoutoftheequationalltogetherwiththisrecipe.Cheesedirectlyontothecrust!

MAKESONE14-INCHPIZZA½batchFarmhousePizzaDough(page193)

2cupsmozzarella½teaspoondriedthyme

1cupGorgonzola1Boscpear,slicedthin¼cupredonion,slicedandsoakedinwaterfor30minutes1tablespoonwalnuts,chopped


2.Rolloutpizzadoughandplaceonpizzapan,thenheatinovenfor3minutesuntilitstartstorise.

3.Takethepizzaoutoftheovenandspreadmozzarellaevenlyoverthepizza,then sprinklewith thyme.Nextadd thegorgonzola inclusters,pear slices (gettheseclose togetheras they’ll shrinkandyouwantpear ineverybite),onions,andwalnuts.

4.Bakefor14minutes,oruntilcrustisgoldenbrown.

BEERPAIRING:DUBBEL

ITALIANBEEF

Here’s something with a fair amount of prep that you can make way ahead of time and throwtogetherforabunchofguestsoraweek’sworthoffoodforyourself.ItalianBeefisanotheroneofthose super-regionaldishes (in this case,Chicago), thatpeoplewill forceyou to eatwhenyouvisittheirtown.Thenthey’llargueaboutwhohasthebestuntilfeelingsarehurtandsomeonethrowsapunch.It’sfunthatway.

ItalianBeef came about as away to feed a lot ofwedding guestswith a single roast and somecheap, filling localbread.Thenpeopleargueand someone throwsapunch.Weddingsarealso funthatway.

Oneprepnotethatwefeelcompelledtoshare:ifyouwanttodoaquickandeasyminorleagueversionofthis,getyourdelitoslicesomeregularroastbeefasthinashumanlypossible.Thenjustheatit inthegravy.We’reallforgoingfromscratch,butdamnifthefakeversionisn’t85percentthere.

MAKES6BEEFS(YES,BEEFS!)

4poundsbottomroundroast½cupkoshersalt½cupblackpepper1tablespoonoregano1tablespoonthyme2teaspoonsgarlicpowder2teaspoonsonionpowder1teaspoonmarjoram1teaspoonbasil2tablespoonspeanutoil2beefneckbones2beefshanks

1beefoxtail1onion,chopped2heartsofcelery,chopped3carrots,chopped4clovesgarlic,chopped

2tablespoonstomatopaste1½teaspoonsoregano¾teaspoonthyme½teaspoonmarjoram¼teaspoonbasil500mlwine,plusadash

2tablespoonskoshersalt12Italianrolls,splittothehingebutnotcutinhalf,toserveSuper16-BitGiardiniera(page281),toserve1.Mixthesalt,pepper,oregano,thyme,garlicpowder,onionpowder,marjoram,andbasil.

2.Brushtheroastwithpeanutoilandapply1¼cupofseasoning.

3. Preheat the oven to 250°F. Roast about 1 hour, or until the internaltemperaturecomesto125°F.

4.Whilethebeefcooks,heatthepeanutoilinapotovermedium-highandseartheneckbones,shanks,andoxtails,workinginbatchesifnecessary.

5.Removesearedmeats,reducetheheattomedium,anddeglazewithasplashofwhitewine,scrapingupthestuck-onbits.Addtheonions,celery,andcarrotsandcook5minutes,untilsoft.

6.Addthegarlicandcookanotherminute,untilfragrant.

7.Addthetomatopasteandtosswithvegetablestocoat.Addoregano,thyme,marjoram,andbasilandcook30seconds,untilfragrant.

8.Addwinetocover,bringtoaboil,reduceheattoabaresimmer,andletcookatleast45minuteswhileyoufinishthedish.Adunkinthegravyistheverylastthing,sonorush.

9.Removethebeeftoawirerackonasheetpanintherefrigeratoruntilcooled,thentransfertothefreezerfor30minutes,untilfirm.

10.Usingyoursharpestknifeor themeatslicergifted toyoubyyourbelovedrichestaunt,slicethatmeatasthinasyoupossiblycan.IfyoucanreadanissueofCat Fancy through it, amazing accomplishment, but why are you readingthat?

11.Setacolanderoveralargebowlandstrainthesolidsoutfromyourgravy.

Tastetheliquidforseasoning,adjust,andreturntoasimmerinthepot.

12.AssemblethesandwichesbystuffingtheItalianrollswiththethinslicesofmeat.Makesureyoudon’tsplitthatrollintwo,becausethatmeat-juice-soakedhingeisgoingtobeyourlastlineofdefense.TopwiththeGiardiniera,thentakeapairof tongs,grab the sandwich fromeither side,anddunk itquickly in thejuices.

13.Eat it fastandmessy, theneat like twomore.Praiseone local sports teamandmournanotherinthenextbreath.Thisisthewayoftheworld.

BEERPAIRING:DRYSTOUT

ROPAVIEJA

We’renotbigfansoftheSunshineState(akaAmerica’sWang)buttous,SouthFloridahasonehugesavinggrace—theinsaneCubanfoodIinevitablyendupgorgingmyselfon.Sure,peopletheremaydrivelikeextrasinMadMax,theheatmaybeunbearable,andtheirbaseballteamcanburninHellfor the 2003 NLCS. But there’s something about good Cuban food in South Florida that’sunmatchable; a crisp, savoryCuban sandwich; a plate of plantains fried twice andHulk-smashedintotheperfectsnack;acubesteakbreadedandfriedwithasideofearthyblackbeans.

ThecenterpieceofSouthernFloridaCubanfoodisRopaVieja—long-simmeredflanksteakwithpeppers,onions,peas,andtomatothatgetsitsnamefromitsresemblancetotatteredoldclothes.Themeatliterallyfallsapart,atender,earthy,flavorfuldishthatIcouldeateverydaybyitself,butwhichbecomessomethingevenmoreamazingwithsomericeandtostones.Clearly,wehadtohaveitinourbagofcookingtricks.

WesuggesttostoneswithaproperofRopaVieja.They’recrispyandstarchy,withagreattextureandsomefreshlyshreddedcheesetoprovidesomedeliciouscontrast.Justmakemorethanyouthinkyou’llbeabletoeat—alackoftostonesisanexistentiallyterrifyingthing.

MAKES6TO8SERVINGS3poundsflanksteak

2tablespoonspeanutoil2tablespoonskoshersalt,plus1teaspoon1½teaspoonsblackpepper,plus½teaspoonFlour,todust2whiteonions,chopped2mediumcarrots,peeledandchopped3clovesgarlic,minced2stalkscelery,chopped1bayleaf1teaspoondriedoregano

1teaspooncumin1greenbellpepper,chopped2redbellpeppers,chopped2orangebellpeppers,chopped16-ouncecanwholetomatoes,crushed,juicesreserved1cupredwine

3ouncestomatopaste

1cupshelledpeas(freshorfrozen)½cupslicedgreenolives

1.Brushsteakwithoil,seasonwithsaltandpepper,anddustwithflour.

2.Heat2tablespoonsoilinalargepotovermedium-highandsearsteak2to3minutesperside.

3.Removemeatanddeglazewithasmallamountofredwine.Addoneonionandthecarrotsandcook5minutes,untilsoft.

4.Addgarlicandcelery,cookanother2minutes.

5. Return meat to the pot. Add the bay leaf, oregano, cumin, salt, andpeppercorns.Addthewater-makesureit’senoughtosurroundthemeat,butnotcoveritentirely.

6.Bringthewatertoaboil,thenreducetheheatandsimmer,uncovered,for2hours.

7. Remove the meat and leave uncovered while you strain the liquid into amediumbowl.Discardthesolids.

8.Whenmeathascooledenoughtohandle,shredit.Youcanuseforks,butyourhandsdoitfaster.Justputyourcigarbetweenyourteethandtoughitout.(Note:do not actually smoke over your food unless you work in a grade schoolcafeteria.)9. In thesame largepot,cook theremainingonionandbellpepperswithacoupletablespoonsofoil,for5minutes.

10. Add the meat, tomatoes with juice, 1 cup wine, 1½ cup braising liquid,tomatopaste,andremainingsaltandpepper.

11.Stirtogetherandbringtoasimmer.Continuetosimmerfor30minutes.

12.StirinpeasandolivesandserveoverwhitericewithSweetPlantains(page53)orTostones(page71).

ROPAVIEJASANDWICHIf you follow the general template for the Cubano

(page 28), but replace the interiorwith ropa vieja,Sweet Plantains (page 53), and black beans (page222), you’ll be very happy with the result. Weguaranteeit.

BEERPAIRING:SCOTCHALE

OCTOPUSWICH!RECIPEBYPATRICKMCBRIDE

Itis,weareconfidentinstating,ouronlyrecipethatcallsforade-beaking.

MAKES46-INCHSANDWICHES6smalltomedium-sizedoctopi,cleanedandde-beaked

Juiceof3lemons2bunchesItalianflat-leafparsley,separatedintostemsandleaves10sprigsoregano,leavesremovedfromstems

3cupsdrywhitewine2tablespoonsmincedgarlic(2to3largecloves)1tablespoonsalt

2tablespoonsredpepperflakes1cupextravirginoliveoil

1poundclarifiedunsaltedbutter1freshbaguette,split

1.Heata largepotofwater toarollingboil.Blanchtheoctopifor90secondsandremove.Reservetheliquidforbraising.

2.Preheattheovento300°F.Placetheoctopi,lemonjuice,parsleystems,halfthe oregano, the white wine, garlic, salt, red pepper, and olive oil in a largecovered pan or Dutch oven for braising. Pour in enough reserved blanchingliquidtobringtheleveltohalfwayuptheoctopi.

3.Braise,covered,for2hours.

4.Removetheoctopi.Strainandreservebraisingliquid.

5.Place theclarifiedbutter ina largesaucepanovermediumheatwithhalfoftheparsleyleaves,theremainingoregano,andremaininggarlic.Whenitbeginstoboil,adjusttheheattoasteadysimmer.Simmer5to10minutes.

6.Meanwhile,cleanandoilthegrill’sgrate.Heattomedium-high.

7.Placethebraisingliquidinablender,foodprocessor,orimmersionblender.

8.Blendtheclarifiedbutterintothebraisingliquid,addingslowly.

9.Grilleachoctopus2to3minutes,untilthetendrilsarecrunchyandthehood(head)getssolidgrillmarks.

10.Removeandtossthecephalopodsinyouremulsifiedbutterandbraiseuntilevenlycoated.

11. Slather the remaining emulsion on your split baguette and grill until justtoasted.

12. Cut the undersea friends diagonally to 1 inch thickness and place on thebaguette. Drizzle with leftover emulsion and any remaining herb leaves. Addpepperifitfloatsyourboat.GETIT?BOATBECAUSEOCTOPUS!(criesfor30minutesstraight.)

BEERPARIRING:BELGIANGOLDENSTRONGALE

SAUSAGEROLLS

Britishpeoplelovemakingpastriesfromscratch—beefsuetpies,scones,pasties—tothepointwhereitcanbeabitmuchtogetintofortheaveragehomecook.Whenarecipeforanicepublunchhastwelve steps and tenof themareaboutmakingpuffpastry from scratch, it’s time to call on somegoodoldfashionedAmericanlaziness.Unlessyou’re intobakingtoanungodlydegree,chancesareFOODCORPLLCmakesabetterpuffpastrythanyoudoinyourtinyapartmentkitchen.Noshameinthat.It’stimetomaximizeyourtalenttheManBQueway—makesomedeliciousBritishsausage,get a puff pastry from the freezer section, and set to making one of the world’s most deliciousportablesausagesnacks.It’s likepigs inablanket,dressedinaFulhamjerseyanddrinkingroom-temperaturebeer.

MAKES16ROLLS1½poundsgroundpork¾pound(6ounces)porkbackfatorbacon,diced3ouncespankobreadcrumbs

1teaspoonblackpepper½teaspoondriedoreganoleaves½teaspoondriedbasil½driedthyme¼teaspoondriedsage¼poundcrumbledbluecheese

1tablespoonkoshersalt¼cupbrownale2feetrinsed,preparedporkcasings116×12-inchsheetpuffpastry1egg,beaten

1.Gentlymixthegroundpork,porkfatorbacon,panko,salt,pepper,herbs,bluecheese, salt, andbeer in a largemixingbowlwithyourhandsuntil combined.Placeinthefreezerandletcoolfor1½hours,untilfirmbutnotfrozenthrough.

2.Grindthroughcorseplate,stuffthesausagesintothecasings, tyingoffat6-inchintervals.


4.Cut thepuffpastry into4-inchstrips, thencrosswise into3-inchstrips.Youshouldhave16stripsof4×3-inchpuffpastry.

5.Wrapthesausagesindividuallyinthepastrysheets.Mixeggwith1teaspoonwaterandbruchoverpastry.

6. Place sausages on a greased baking sheet and cook for 45 to 55 minutes,flippingonce,untilgoldenbrownandthesausagereaches165°F.

BEERPAIRING:ESB

SOUTHERNCORNBREAD

Make this, if only so you can enjoy fighting with church picnic matrons and Southerners aboutpropercornbreadtechnique.

MAKES110-INCHPAN2½cups(11ounces)all-purposeflour1¼cups(5ounces)cornmeal2teaspoonssalt1tablespoonbakingpowder4eggs

1cupwholemilk½cupbacongreaseorvegetableoil,plusmoretocoatpan

1cupsugar1.Preheattheovento400°Fwithyourcastironpanalongfortheride.

2.Whisktogethertheflour,cornmeal,salt,andbakingpowder.

3.Whisktogethertheeggs,milk,grease,andsugar.

4.Addthedryingredientstothewet,whiskingtocombine.

5.Removethepanfromtheoven(carefully!)andadd1to2tablespoonsofthebacongrease.Itshouldheatrapidly.Pourinyourcornbreadbatter,whichshouldsizzleabitasitgoesin.

6.Bakefor30minutes.Removeandletcoolbeforeturningoutandslicing.

BRAISEDSAUERKRAUT

Cookingsauerkrautsandssomeoftherougheredgesoffofthisdivisiveingredient.Nowyoucanputitoneverything.

MAKES1½POUNDS2tablespoonsvegetableoil1cupdicedwhiteonion

1cupdicedapple1russetpotato,diced1poundcannedorbaggedsauerkraut,drained4juniperberries,crushed½teaspooncarawayseed

2cupschickenstock1.Preheatovento350°F.

2.Heatthevegetableoilinapanovermediumheat.Addtheonionsandapplesandcook10minutes,untilsoft.

3.Addthepotatoesandcookanother5minutes.

4.Addthekraut,juniper,caraway,andstock.Bringtoaboil,cover,andtransfertotheovenfor1½hours,untiltheliquidhasevaporated.Servewithsausage.

BEERPAIRING:MARZEN

JALAPEÑO-INFUSEDRIBSRECIPEBYJOERAKE

We’re normally not big fans of letting boilingwater anywhere near our ribs. TheRib Inquisitionwouldexecuteusforevensuggestingthis.Butdamnedifitisn’tonefinewaytomakedueinacityapartmentwithoutasmokerandrepresentyourselfwellatacookout.Infact,a lotof theoldmanbarswhododecentfoodhaveperfectedtheartoftheovenrib.Serveitwithanicesweetsaucewhileyou’reatit.

MAKES2RACKS7largejalapeños,deseededandsliced

4cupswater½cupapplecidervinegar½cuppackedbrownsugar¼cupvegetableorcanolaoil1garlicclove,smashed2tablespoonskoshersalt,divided2tablespoonspepper,divided2racksofbabybackribs,approximately2poundsperrack,cutinto4half-racksforeasierhandling

3tablespoonsbrownsugar1½tablespoonspaprika

1teaspoongarlicpowder

1. For the marinade, combine jalapeños, water, vinegar, sugar, oil, garlic, ½tablespoonsaltand½tablespoonpepperinamediumsaucepan.Cover,bringtoaboil,reduceheatandsimmerfor5minutes.Allowtocool,thenmarinateribsinaclosedcontainerfor4hours,orovernight.

2.Beforegrilling,you’llwanttooven-roasttheribs.Preheatovento250°F.

3.Place the ribsbonedown ina racked roastingpan.Thenpour themarinadeover top blanketing the ribs with jalapeños. Cover the roasting pan withaluminumfoil.

4.Cookintheovenfor2½hours.Ribsshouldbetenderandneedtoberemovedwith tongs.Note:Ribscanbewrappedinfoil, refrigerated,andgrilled laterorthefollowingday.

5.Preheatgrilltomediumheat.

6.Combinebrown sugar, paprika, remaining salt andblackpepper, andgarlicpowdertomakeadryrub.Applyrubgenerouslyribs.

7.Placeribsonhotgrill,bonesup,for4to5minutes.Turntobone-sidedownandgrillforanadditional4to5minutes.

BEERPAIRING:PALEALE

SWEETCORNDIP

This isagreatdip for those summerdayswhendelicious sweetcorn is in season.Elotes, sweetcorndip,maybesomecornbread.LifeintheMidwestisexactlyhowyoualwayspicturedit.

8earsofcorn,intheirhusks1cupmayonnaise1tablespoonchipotlehotsauceJuiceof2limes1teaspoonsalt1teaspoonfreshgroundpepper

1teaspoonsugar¼cupchickenstock½cupCotijacheese,crumbled,divided¼cupcilantro,chopped,togarnish1teaspoonchilipowder,togarnish1.Preheatovento350°F.

2.Roast cornwith husks on in oven (or grill) 30minutes.Turn cobs halfwaythrough for even cooking. Set roasted corn aside until cool enough to handle.Thenshuckandcutthekernelsoffofthecob.

3.Mixmayonnaise,hotsauce,limejuice,salt,pepper,sugar,andchickenstockin saucepanovermediumheat.Stir for4 to5minutesuntil themayonnaise ismeltedwiththeotheringredients.Addcorntosauceandwarmthrough.

4. Pour mixture into a bowl andmix in half of the cheese. Refrigerate for 4hours.

5.Garnishwithremainingcheese,cilantro,andchilipowderbeforeserving.

BEERPAIRING:CZECHPALELAGER

RUNZASRECIPEBYJAYMEADKINS-IRONSIDE

Imagine,ifyouwill,aworldwheremeatandcheeseinapastrydoesn’tforetellsadbachelorhoodandintestinaldistress.RunzasareaNebraskathing,andwe’reallthericherforknowingthem.

MAKES12BREADPOCKETS1¾cups(210grams)unbleachedall-purposeflour,plus2¾cups(330grams)½cup(100grams)sugar

5teaspoons(½ounce)activedryyeast1teaspoon(6½grams)salt¾cupwholemilk8ounces(2sticks)unsaltedbutter,plus2tablespoon2eggs,beaten,plus1egg

1tablespoonsesameoil1¼poundsgroundbeef1tablespoonkoshersalt1tablespoontomatopaste1teaspoonWorcestershiresauce1teaspoonMarmite1tablespooncrushedredpepper

1cupchoppedwhiteonion3shallots(about½cup)chopped4clovesgarlic,minced4cups(aboutonemediumhead)choppedcabbage1.Placetheflourintothebowlofanelectricmixerandaddthesugar,yeast,andsalt,stirringtocombine.

2.Heatthemilk,½cupofwater,andbutterinasmallsaucepanoverlowheatuntilthetemperaturereadsabout120°F.

3.Add theheatedmilk to thedry ingredientsandslowlystir inon lowspeed.Addtheeggswhenthemixturehascooled(youmainlyjustwanttomakesuretheydon’tcookandscramble)andbeatonhighfor2minutes.

4. Change out the beater for a dough hook, if you have it, reduce themixingspeedtolowandaddtheremainingflour.Kneadfor8to10minutes,thenturn

outintoanoiledglassbowl.Coverwithplasticwrapandletrisefor1hour,untilit’sdoubledinsize.

5.Heatthesesameoilinalargeskilletovermediumheat,addyourgroundbeefand salt, and cook 3 to 4 minutes until browned. Add the tomato paste,Worcestershire,Marmite,andredpepperandremovefromthepan.

6.Deglazethepanwithabitofwaterandaddtheonionsandshallots.Cook5minutes,untilsoft,thenaddthegarlicandcookanotherminute.

7.Add the cabbage and cook 1 to 2minutes, untilwilted.Remove to a largebowlandmixwiththegroundbeef.

8.Punchdownthedoughanddivideitinto12equalpieces(ascaleissousefulforthis).Rollthedoughballsintosquares,topwith⅓cupofthemeat/cabbagemixture,andpinchtheedgesclosedwithafork.

9.Preheatyourovento350°Fandcreateaneggwashwithyourremainingeggandateaspoonofwater.

10.Lineupyourrunzas-to-beonabakingsheetandbrushthemwitheggwash.Bake for 20 to 25minutes, until they’re beautifully, almost pornographically,goldenbrown.They’reready,andsoareyou.

BEERPAIRING:BOCK

CAULDRON

Ever since three Scottish witches spurred Macbethintoamadspreeofregicideandclanwarfare,peoplehave been doing really cool things with pots full ofbubbling liquid. You can steam a delicious, tenderChinesebao.Youcanspendafewhourslettingafattypieceofporkbreakdownintodeliciouscarnitas.Youcan even stuff a bunchof crabs in there andpretendyou’rea tyrantputtingdownanuprisingof theCrabPeople(justus?).

Between a steamer insert (tamales) and somestackablebambooaccoutrements(bao),youcancookalmostanythingyouwantinabigol’pot.Andunlikethe sleek, sexy, multi-clad sauté pans and coppersauceiers, you won’t find a whole lot of overpriced“prestige” models to muddy your decision-making.Except those Francophone-enameled Dutch ovens,which are admittedlyglorious.You find thoseheavybastards at a garage or estate sale, or if you know aFrenchchefwhoissellingoffkitchenwaretosupporta serious heroin addiction, you buy all of them andcherishthemforever.

Lookforsomethingwithaheavybottomforgoodheat retention, and something that’s big enough forthe recipes you want to do. Trying to force fivepounds of pork shoulder, plus liquid, into a 2-quartpotisn’tgoingtoendwellforyou.Sizematters.

BELGIANBEERMUSSELS

Musselsareoneofthosedishesthatlookmoredifficulttopreparethantheyactually are. Serving this super-easy, super-tasty dish to your friends acoupleof times ishowyoustartgettingknownas the talentedcook in thegroup.

SERVES4

1tablespoonbutter1shallot,finelychopped1cupBelgianbeer2cupscoconutmilk

3tablespoonsredcurrypaste½teaspoonSrirachasauce2to4poundsfreshmussels,cleaned3tablespoonsbasil,choppedToastedFrenchbread,toserve

1.Meltbutter ina5-quartpotorDutchovenandsautéshallots for3minutes,untiltranslucent.

2.Pourinbeer,coconutmilk,redcurry,andSriracha.Increasetheheatandboilfor5minutes.

3.Addthemussels,cover,andsteam10minutes,untiltheyopen.

4.Removefromtheheat,addbasil,stir,andcoveragainfor2minutes.

5. Servewith frites (page 89) and crusty French bread to soak up that brothygreatness.

BEERPAIRING:BELGIANBLONDE

CHESAPEAKEBLUECRABSRECIPEBYSTEVEMUHLBAIER

Eating blue crabs in Maryland is part meal, part project. Since crabs are nature’s tiny banklockboxes,youneedtime,effort,andpossiblyasmallhammertoextractthedelicious,deliciousmeatwithin.Soyoupickanicespot,spreadoutsomenewspaper,ripopenatwelve-packofsomething,andsettleinforsomeseriouseating.

Fun factwhenyou’rebuying thecrabs:Maleshaveunderbellies that look like theWashingtonMonument,whereasfemalecrabundersidesresembletheU.S.CapitolDome.

MAKES12CRABS1½cupsofwheatbeer1headgarlic,withthetopcutoff2lemons,cutinhalf1tablespoondriedbasil2tablespoonshotsauce

1tablespooncidervinegar6tablespoonsOldBayseasoning,divided12medium-sizedmalebluecrabs

1.Addallingredientsexceptthecrabsand3tablespoonsofOldBaytobottomofalargestockpot.Fillwithwatertojustbelowthebottomofwherethesteamerinsertreachesandbringbrieflytoaboil.

2.Place thesteamer insert in thepotandadd thecrabs—using tongs,elsewisethecrabswillhavetheirrevenge.SeasonthefeistybastardswiththeremainingOldBayandslapthelidonthepot.

3.Bringthewatertoaboiltosteamthecrabs.Cookfor10to14minutes.Theshellsofthecrabswillturnabrightorange/reddishcolorwhenfullycooked.

4.Spreadoutsomenewspaperonyourtable,crackthemopen,andenjoy!

BEERPAIRING:SAISON

BLACKBEANS

Beforestarting,makesuretosortthroughthebeanstoremoveanyrocks.Blackbeansarenotoriousfor harboring tooth-cracking stones. But, death-defying danger aside, you’ll have a much betterresultby startingwith freshbeans.Thesemakeagreat sidedish foralmost anything, and they’refantasticwhenservedwithrice.

MAKES12SERVINGS1pounddriedblackbeans,sortedandwashed

1cupchoppedwhiteonion3clovesgarlic,chopped3bayleaves

1tablespoonkoshersalt

1. Place all ingredients into a crock pot, stir to combine, then add 6 cups ofwater.

2.Bringtoasimmer,cover,andcookovernight,covered.

3.Removethebayleaves,tasteforseasoning,andaddadditionalsaltifneeded.

SICILIAN-STYLESTUFFEDARTICHOKES

Wehaveacomplicatedrelationshipwithvegetables,and theartichoke inparticularalways lookedlike itwanted tohurtus. Imagineoursurprisewhenwe foundoutwecouldmakeamealoutofasteamedvegetableandalsomanagetoeataheadofgarlicatthesametime.

Youcouldtheoreticallyservethiswithanicespicymayo,butdon’tblameusifanItalianNonnaziplinesintoyourkitchenandstartswhackingthecrapoutofyouwithawoodenspoon.

MAKES4SERVINGS2artichokes,stemandtipscutoff20clovesgarlic,minced1½cupschoppedflat-leafparsley2teaspoonskoshersalt2teaspoonsblackpepper

2teaspoonsoliveoil½lemon,slicedintowedges,plustwoslices

1.Spreadtheartichokeleavesoutandwashthoroughly.Letdraininacolanderoverthesinkfor15minutes.

2.Mix thegarlic,parsley,salt,andpepper.Spreadthe leavesof theartichokesagainandstuffthemixturebetweentheleaves.Drizzleoliveoiloverthetop.

3. Place in the steamer insert of a large pot, cover artichoke topswith lemonslices,andsteamfor45minutes.

4.Cutartichokesinhalfandserve,withlemonwedges.

BEERPAIRING:MUNICHHELLESLAGER

BRAISEDPORKBELLYBANHMISANDWICHESWITHNUOCMAU

RECIPEBYEDKOWALSKI

Afriendturnedusontonuocmau,aVietnamesecaramelsaucewhichmakesthissandwichthebestthingtocomeoutofVietnamsinceJohnRambo.

MAKES4SANDWICHES3tablespoonssugar2tablespoonswarmwater

1tablespooncanolaoil2largeshallots,minced2garliccloves,minced2poundsporkbelly,cutinto1-inchcubes

2tablespoonsfishsauce½teaspoonwholeblackpeppercorns½cupunseasonedricevinegar¼cupsugar1½cupswater1cupdaikonradishes,peeledandshredded1cupcarrots,peeledandshredded1baguette,endscutoffanddividedinto4portions(slicedlengthwise)1jalapeño,thinlysliced,togarnish

½cupcilantro,togarnish

1.Addsugarandwatertoaheavy-bottomedsaucepan.Heatthepanonmediumheatandletthesugarmeltandthemixtureturntoagoldenbrowncolor.Keepstirringandwatchforittoquicklyturntoagoldenbrowncolor.Ithappensfast,

sodon’twalkaway.

2.Ifthemixtureistoothick,slowlyaddadditionalwater(1tablespoonatatime)until themixture is thedesiredconsistency.Stiragainwithawoodenspoontoremoveanyhardlumps.Setaside.You’vegotnuocmau.We’reveryproudofyou.

3.InDutchovenorlargepot,heattheoilovermediumuntilitsimmers.Addtheshallotsandcookforabout1minute,thenaddgarlicandcookanotherminute,untilbotharefragrant.

4.Add the pork belly and sear on all sides, turning after about 2minutes, 10minutesintotaltosearandbrownallsides.

5.Stirinfishsauceandcookforanother5minutes,thenaddwatertocover.

6. Add the peppercorns and turn heat to low, cooking for an additional 10minutes,stirringoccasionally.

7.Add thenuocmau,coverpartially,andcontinuebraising theporkover lowheat for another 45 minutes to 1 hour, stirring occasionally, until the pork istender.

8.While thepork isbraising,combine thevinegar, sugarandwater ina smallsaucepan. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, stirring, until the sugardissolves.

9. Place the shredded daikon and carrots in a heatproof vessel. Pour over thevinegar,cover,andletsitfor20minutes.

10.Divide the pork belly evenly among the baguettes, topwith the slaw, andgarnishwithcilantroandjalapeño.

BEERPAIRING:BIEREDEGARDE

BARTAMALES

HereinChicago,whenyou’redrinkinginabarthatdoesn’thaveakitchen,you’reusuallybiding time for theTamaleGuy.He’samysterioushero,astreet food cipher, a lone sentinel of freedomwhomakes the roundswithtwosmallcoolerspackedwithhomemadetamalesjustwhenyouneedthem.He’sgotpork,he’sgotchicken,butyoureallywantthepeppersandcheese.Trustus.

MAKES50TAMALES60driedcornhusks

2poundsmasaharina2¼cupstock

14ounceslard1½teaspoonbakingpowder

1tablespoonsalt2½cupsChihuahuaCheese2½cupschoppedjalapeñoorserranopeppers

1.Soakhusksinhotwaterfor45to60minutes.

2.Mixthemasaandstock.

3.Whipthelarduntilitformspeaks,thenthenaddtothemasamixture,mixingvigorously.

4.Addbakingpowderandsalt,andmixwell.Takeapieceofthemasamixturethrowitinacupofwater—ifitfloats,it’sreadytogo.

5.Drain the husks andpat dry.Tear 5 to 10of the lesser specimens into thinstripstosecureyourtamales.

6.Layoutadriedcornhusk,thenspread2tablespoonsofthemasamixtureoveritinavaguelyrectangularshape.Spoonatablespoonofcheeseandatablespoonofpeppersintothemiddle.Adjusttheratioifyou’reabigserranobaby.

7.Roll thehusk intoa tubular shape, foldup thebottom,andsecurewith twostripsofcornhusk.Youdon’tneed to foldbothends,asyou’resteaming themupright, but do whatever floats your boat. Having an assembly line for theremaining49willdowondersforyoursanity,socallsomefriendsandpromisethembeer.

8. Line a stock potwith a steamer insert and add enoughwater as to keep itbelowthesteamer.Line thesteamerwithsomeofyoursparehusks.Annoyingprotipthattotallyworks:Afewpenniesinthebottomofthepotwillkeepyoualertedtowhenyourundry.Aslongasyouhear theinfernalchatteringof thepennies,you’vestillgotwaterinthere.

9. Place the tamales open side up along the inside perimeter of the stock pot.Placeextrahusksontopthetamalesandcoverthepot.Steamfor1hour,untilthemasafirmsupandthehuskpeelsawayeasily.

10. Pack into coolers with some hot sauce and prepare to make a bunch ofmoneyoffofdesperatedrinkers.

BEERPAIRING:PALELAGER

HOTDOGSANATIONALANTHEMYOUCANEAT

There’snothingthatunitesAmericansmorethantheloveofencasedmeats.From the legendary Pink’s in Los Angeles through Chicago and itseponymousnatural-casingdog to thedirtywaterdogsofNewYorkCity,we are a proud nation united in hot dogs. Even our friends abroad inNorway, Iceland,SouthAfrica, and Japan count themas an essential andbelovedstreeteat.

Withallthoseflavorsfromallthoseplaces,it’simpossibletosettleonafavorite.Solet’sgoaheadandcookallofthem.Youearnedit.

Wipeawaythatsingletearandlet’sgetlooking.Welovehotdogs.Sofuckingmuch.

HotDogs:TheHard-HittingQuestionsWhatshouldIlookforinahotdog?

Getsomethingwithanaturalcasing—ithasadistinctiveSNAPwhenyoubiteintoitthatmakesthewholeaffairworthwhile.Skinlessdogsarestuffedintosyntheticcasings,smoked,andremovedfromthecasings.Samegreatmeatyflavor,less-awesometexture,andzeronaturalsnap.Kidsactuallytendtolikethembetter,becausethey’reeasiertoeat.

Noteverywherehasthenaturalcasingdogs,sodon’tfeelbadaboutgettingskinless.Itwon’taffectthecookingany—thisisahotdogparty,notneurosurgery.

Butgetthebig‘olbastards,right?

Actually, check the number of dogs per pound. Bigger isn’t always better. Chicago-style dogs aretraditionallyeighttoapound,whileourNewYorkfriendsoftengettheslimmertentoapoundfranks.There’snorightorwrong—youwantthebestratiooftoppingstomeat.Aquarter-pounddog(fourtoapound)isalittletoobigforourtastes.Thetoppingstendtosliderightoff,andthelarger-diameterhogcasings(asopposedtolambcasingsontheslimmerdogs)canbealittlechewy.

Wait,I’msupposedtobeafraidofhotdogs,right?They’remostlytrimmingsandoff-cuts?

You’dbesurprised.While there’splentyofcheapcrap in theworldofprocessedmeats,brands likeSabrett’s,ViennaBeef, andCasper’sputout some fantastichotdogs.Weactuallygot togoon theproductionflooratChicago’sViennaBeeffactorytoseehowthesausagewasmade.Thisdespite“seehowthesausageismade”beingtheonethingyou’renotsupposedtowanttodo.

AtVienna,andalotofothertopproducers,there’snaryamechanically-separatedmeatstufftobefound.Theyuse95percentleanbullmeat,combinedwithbrisketandnavelcuts.Someproducersalsomixporkintothehotdogs,whichiscompletelydeliciousinslightlydifferentway.

Thewholecutsaretrimmed,mixedwiththebullmeat,andsentalongthroughavacuumchopper.Thenthatmeatisemulsifiedthemeatwithbeeffat,garlicextract,spices,cornsyrup,ice,andsodiumnitritecuringsalt.Thishappens4,000poundsofmeatatatime,afterwhichthey’restuffedintonaturalor artificial casings of varying sizes. After that, the newly formed dogs are smoked in cavernoustemperature-controlledsmokers.Afterthat,they’repackagedreadytoeat,thoughthey’remuchbetterifyouheatthemupfirst.

“What’sdifferentaboutthekosherhotdogs?

Kosher franks were traditionally held to a higher standard than regular hot dogs—only beefslaughtered and prepared in accordancewith kosher dietary laws, no fillers, no pork.Butwith thatcomesskinlessdogsorcollagencasings,becausenaturalcasingsqualifyasorganmeat,andarethusalsoano-go.Withpeoplepayingmuchmoreattentiontowhattheyeatthesedays,thereareplentyofnon-kosher producers thatmake similar quality products. But a lot of our friendswho grew up onkosher dogs swear by the spice blend (deliciously garlicky), the quality of the beef, or some othernostalgia-coloredperception.They’regreatforyourcookout,whetherit’skosherornot.Deepfryorchargrilltoreplacesomeofthatnaturalcasingsnap.

Whatare“nitrate-free”hotdogs?

Uncured,or“nitrate-free”hotdogsareproducedforpeopleworriedabouttheeffectsofsodiumnitrate,the curing salt that preserves hot dogs and turns them that trademark pink color. Curing hot dogspreventsclostridiumbotulinum—adeadlybacterium thatcankill the shitoutofyouandwhich richpeoplehave injected into their faces—fromforming in themeat.Butnitratesaren’tgreat foryou inlargedoses, sosomepeople try toavoid thementirely.Companies likeNimanRanch,TraderJoe’s,andWholeFoodsproducehotdogswithoutaddingsodiumnitratetothemix.Somecompaniesinsteadusenatural sourcesof nitrate like celerypowder,which are…youknow, still nitrates. It’s kindof asemanticthing.Ifyou’rethatworriedabouthotdogs,wemightrecommendthatyoujustdon’teathotdogs.

CookingYourHotDogs

ToSteam

Fillapotofwatertojustbelowthelineofthesteamerinsert.Addthedogsontop,bringthewatertoaboil,cover,andletsteam5to10minutes,dependingonthesizeofyourfranks.Thebigquarter-poundones tend toward the 10 minute end, where the 10-to-a-pound dogs should be good and hot in 5minutes.

ToSimmer

This iswherewewant tobelaboraveryspecificpoint,which isNEVERBOILYOURHOTDOGS.Thedelicious sodiums and spiceswill leakout, your casingswill shrink and seize, andyou’ll havekindofashittydogattheendofthings.Instead,bringalargepotofwaterjusttoasimmer,andslipthedogsinforaninvigorating4minutewarmingbath.Ifyou’dlikethatauthenticNewYorkCitycartexperience,changethewatereverypresidentialadministrationorso,chargeyourguestsanexorbitantamount,andonlyofferwarmDietPepsitodrink.

ToCharGrill

Atsomepointinourlives,we’retaughttomakeadozenorsoslashesthroughthedogsoitdoesn’texplodeundertheintenseheatofthegrill.Butwe’vefoundthatbycuttingtwoperpendicularslashesintotheendsofthedog,theheatwillcausethoseedgestoventtheheat,crispup,andbloomoutward.Somakeyourslashes,putthemontoagrillovermediumheat,andturnthemfrequently.Thedogstaysmostlyintact,you’vegotakillerbiteateitherend,anditlooksgenerallykickass.Don’tworryaboutgrillmarks—you’retuckingthemintoabunandcoveringitwithselecteddelicioustoppings.Noone’sgoing to see them, unless they’re eating a plain hot dog likeMelvin from fifth-grade science class.Man,thatguywasweird.

ToFry

Oh, this isgoing tobe fun. Ifyou’restuckwithskinlessdogs, fryingcanaddsomegreat texture tomakeupforit.Getyouroilto350°F,cuttheendslikeyou’rechargrilling,anddropthatsuckerinfor2½minutes,turningfrequently.Shakeoffexcessoil,andyou’rereadytogo.Thisisagreatwaytoaddasnaptoaskinlessdog.

ToMicrowave

Ohgod,you’rereallydoingthis,aren’tyou?Andit’snotforatoddler?Alright,goaheadandgrabtherock-hardpackageoffrozenbudgetdogsfromyour‘70s-erafridge/freezer.Slapthoseicybastardsintothesinktodefrost.Mayberunalittlecoldwateroverthingstospeeduptheprocess.SomefoodguyonTVsaidthat’snotagreatidea,butyoumanagedtosurvivethedivorce,sohotdogsprobablywon’tkillyoueither.

Whenthey’regoodandsoggy,popthemonaplate,makesomeslashmarkssotheydon’tdetonate,andcoverthemwithapapertowel.Microwavethemfor45seconds.Takethecookingtimetocrackopen that plastic fifth ofwhite label. Imean, it’s 10:45 in themorning, but it’s aweekend, right?Breakfastofchampions,hoss!

Youprobablyforgottogetbuns,sotakeoutacoupleslicesofwhitebreadandyourcondiments.Garnish the dogsusing themustard, half-empty jar of salsa, or both.Eat directly over the sink andcontemplatehowmucheasierlifewouldbeifyoulostafingeratwork.Notoneoftheimportantones,justlikealeftringfingerorsomething.

Sigh loudly. Restart this chapter and consider one of the other prep methods. Actions haveconsequences,youknow?

ForYourBunsOnly

Asteamedhotdogbunisessentialtotheexperience.It’swhypeopleenjoyballparkhotdogssomuch—atriparoundthestadiumwrappedinfoilwithinaheatedboxbringsthedogandbuntogetherintoapillowysweetbitethatyieldstothesnapofthedogitself.It’smeatpoetry.

Tosteamyourbuns,place thembetweentwosheetsofparchmentpaper inasteamer(youdon’twantthecondensedsteamfallingonthemandmakingthemsoggy),cover,andletthemgofor2to3minutes.Carefullyreachintocheck.Ifthey’resoftandwarm,they’regoodtogo.It’stheeasiestthingtodo,anditmakesallthedifference.

HotDogStyles:AnIncompleteButDeliciousGuide

ALL RECIPES MAKE UNLIMITED HOT DOGS FOREVER ON THE WINGS OFFREEDOM(OR,MOREACCURATELY,8)

THECHICAGO-STYLEDOGTHEDEPRESSIONDOGIMPOSTORBAGELDOGMANHATTANSTREETMEATDOGSDETRIOTCONEYDOGSTHECRESENTCITYREGRETDOGTHEEMERALDCITYDOGNORWAYFRANSKDOGICELANDICDOGTHERIOTHECOLUMBIANTHEMAOLOK’I

THECHICAGO-STYLEHOTDOG

WhenyoucometoChicagoandorderahotdog“draggedthoughthegarden,”thisiswhatyou’llgetin a perfect world. Poppyseed buns are authentic, but rare outside of Chicago, so don’t feel badsubstitutingareplacementbun.Orevenusingketchup—ourpopulaceisregularly(andincorrectly)peggedaspsychosaboutthat.Dowhatyouwant—it’syourhotdogandthisisAmerica.

Thesearetheworld’smostperfectexpressionofwhatahotdogcanbe.Wecouldeattwooftheseeverysingleday.Imaginewhataglorious(short)lifethatwouldbe.

8steamedpoppyseedhotdogbuns8steamedorsimmerednaturalcasinghotdogsYellowmustard,toserve

1cupchoppedwhiteonion

Neongreenpicklerelish2plumtomatoes,halvedandslicedthin8dillpicklespears

16sportpeppersCelerysalt,toserve

1.Topthedogswithasquiggleofyellowmustard,followedbytheonion,relish,slicedtomato,picklespeartooneside,andsportpepperstotheother.Giveitaquickdustingofcelerysaltandyou’rereadytoserve.

BEERPAIRING:PILSNER

THEDEPRESSIONDOG

Thisistheother,andfarlesswell-known,Chicagoversionofthehotdog.Westillloveit,becausehotdogs are delicious and french fries only make them more amazing. If you’re going for fullauthenticity, use smaller ten-to-a-pound natural casing dogs. Though if someone calls you on thatparticulardetail,we’llbeshocked.

8steamedorsimmerednatural-casinghotdogs

8steamedhotdogbunsYellowmustard,toserveNeongreenrelish,toserve1cupchoppedwhiteonion

16sportpeppers1batchFrenchfries(page89),toserve1.Openasteamedbun,placeyourhotdogin,andaddasquiggleofmustard.Thenaddtherelish,onion,andpeppers.

2.Topwithanirresponsibleamountofwell-saltedfriesandserveimmediately.

BEERPAIRING:STEAMBEER

IMPOSTORBAGELDOG

Thisisalmoststupidlyeasy,butProfessorMarkReitmanofHotDogUniversitytaughtusthistrick,sowe’repassing it on to you.You’ll need a sandwichorhotdogwrapper, but your local hot dogstandormom-and-popfastfoodplaceshouldbeniceabouthookingyouup.Otherwiseyoucanbuyhundredsmorethanyou’deverneedinyourlifeatawarehouseorrestaurantstore.

4steamednatural-casingfranks

4steamedpoppyseedhotdogbunsMustard,toserve

1.Layoutawrapperinfrontofyouonaflatsurfacewithonecornerpointingtowardyou.

2.Layasteamedbunatthebottomofthepoint,andahotdoginthemiddleofthebun.

3.Quicklyrollupthedoginthepaper,pressingdownfirmly.

4.Unroll,sliceinto8pieces,etvoila,prettyconvincingfakebagelbites.

BEERPAIRING:COFFEESTOUT

MANHATTANSTREETMEATDOGS

2tablespoonsvegetableoil2mediumonions,thinlysliced

1teaspoonbrownsugar⅝teaspooncinnamon,divided

1teaspooncornstarch½teaspoonanchochilepowder¼cuptomatopaste½cupwater½teaspoonkoshersalt1teaspooncayennepepper8steamedbuns

Spicybrownmustard8kosherhotdogs,simmeredBraisedSauerkraut(page211)1.Inasmallsaucepanovermediumheat,sautétheonionsinthevegetableoilfor5minutes,untilsoftandtranslucent.

2.Stirinthesugar,cinnamon,cayenne,andchilipowderandcookfor1minute.

3.Addthetomatopaste,water,cornstarch,andsalt.Bringtoaboil,reducetheheattoasimmer,andcookuntilthesaucethickens,about15minutes.

4. Stirring frequently, cook another 15 to 20 minutes, or until the water isreducedbyabouthalf.

5.Removesaucefromtheheatandsetaside.

6.Spreadthespicybrownmustardonthebottomofyourbun,addyourhotdog

andtopwithonionsauceandsauerkraut.

BEERPAIRING:ESB

DETROITCONEYDOGS

Don’tcall itachilidogwithinthecitylimitsofDetroit.Thethingsthey’llcallyouareunprintable.Coneydogsareareallypopularregionalstylechampionedbytwoadjacentrestaurants (AmericanConeyIslandandLafayetteConeyIsland)whohaaaateeachother,inthewayyoucanusuallyonlyhatea familymemberwhosoldyouonashady“investment.”Theybothservenatural-casingdogscovered in onions, cheese, and a mysterious Coney Sauce we’re fairly sure has a beef heartcomponenttoit.Welovebeefheart,sowemadeourowndelectableversion.

Ifyourbutcherdoesn’twanttospecial-grindyourmeat,oryoucan’tyourself,justplacethebeefinthefoodprocessorandpulseit3to5timesafterit’scooked.

½poundfinelygroundchuck½poundfinelygroundshortrib½poundfinelygroundbeefheart2tablespoonskoshersalt1teaspoonblackpepper

2tablespoonsvegetableoil1½cupschoppedwhiteonion,plusmoretoserve4clovesgarlic,minced¾cuptomatopaste

1teaspooncayennepepper¼teaspooncumin¼teaspooncoriander1tablespoonwhitewine1cuptomatosauce

2tablespoonsWorcestershiresauce1tablespoonMarmite(optional)2tablespoonsyellowmustard,plusmoretoserve1teaspooncornflour(masaharina)8char-grilledbeef-and-porkhotdogs

8steamedhotdogbuns

1.Seasonthegroundmeatwiththesaltandpepper,thenbrowninalargepotorDutchoven.Whenthemeatiscookedthrough,removeandsetaside.Drainthefat.

2. Heat the vegetable oil over medium and sauté 1 cup of the onions for 5minutes,untilsoftandtranslucent.Addthegarlicandcookanotherminute,untilfragrant.

3.Add the tomatopaste, cayenne, cumin, andcoriander.Mixwithonions andgarlicandcookanotherminute.

4.Deglazepanwithwhitewine,scrapingupthebrownbits,andaddthetomatosauce,Worcestershire,Marmite,andyellowmustard.Returnthebeeftothepotandstirtocombine.

5.Mixthecornflourwithateaspoonofwatertomakeaslurry.Addtothepotandstirthrough.Cook15minutes,thencoverandreduceheattolow.

6.Whenyourdogsarecharredandbunssteamed,servewithaladleofchili,ahandfuloftheremainingonions,andagenerousslatherofmustard.

BEERPAIRING:DUBBEL

THECRESCENTCITYREGRETDOG

New Orleans is America’s leading exporter of bad decisions. It’s very important to survive thegauntletofjazzclubs,casinos,bardrinking,streetdrinking,andlow-marginstripclubswithatleasta few bucks left at the end of the night. This is because a smallmilitia of vagrants, ruffians, andweirdoscommandafleetofrollingmetalhotdogstandsthatserveuphotdogsthatareatthesametimethebestandtheworstdecisionyou’llmakeallnight.

Owingtotheproudlylow-rentnatureofthisdish,youcanfeelfreetousecannedchiliguilt-free.Otherwise,ourWalkingTacoChiliFilling(page249)isreallygoodwiththis.

8jumbobun-lengthpork-and-beeffranks,steamedChili(fromourWalkingTacos,yourfamilyrecipe,or,mostauthentically,somereallycrappycannedstuff),toserve

8hotdogbuns,steamedKetchup,toserveYellowmustard,toserve

1. Remove the dog and bun from the steamer, and make sure you’reauthenticallysurlywhenyoudoit.

2.Addaladleofchili,spreadingitonbothsidesofthedog.

3.Topwith a ridiculous amount ofmustard andketchup in dueling zig-zaggylines,andservetothedrunkestpersonyoucanfind.They’llbebackformore.Theyalwayscomebackformore.

BEERPAIRING:BLACKLAGER

THEEMERALDCITYDOG

TheraininthePacificNorthwest,itgetstopeople.Slowlydrivesthemmad,untilthey’rethrowinggodknowswhatonahotdog.Butthenyoutryoneofthese,maybewithafewbeersinyou,andyoustarttothinkthatthesepeopleareontosomething.

8toastedhotdogbuns1cupcreamcheese,softened,toserve8char-grillednaturalcasingPolishsausagesorhotdogs

2cupschoppedcabbage2jalapeños,sliced8greenonions,slicedthin

1.Spreadthetoastedbunswithcreamcheeseonbothsides.

2. Add the Polish sausage or hot dogs and top with cabbage, jalapeños, andgreenonions.


NORWAYFRANSKDOG

From the land of incredibly expensive hot dogs (and other foods, and alcohol, and basicallyeverything)comesthisdogservedwithonionssothinyoucanseethroughthemandasweet,creamydressing.

½cupmayo2teaspoonshoneymustard2teaspoonsDijonmustard

1teaspoonsalt½teaspoonsugar½teaspoonmildcurrypowder

8steamedhotdogbuns8steamednaturalcasinghotdogs2thinlyslicedandsaltedPersiancucumbers,toserveFriedShallots(page274)orcannedfriedonions,toserve1.Mixthemayowiththemustards,salt,sugar,andcurryandsetaside.

2. Lay the dog into the bun and topwith cucumber, shallots or onions, and agenerous squeeze of the sauce. Charge a price that hovers around nineteendollarsatcurrentexchangerates.

BEERPAIRING:GOLDENALE

ICELANDICDOG

Some claim that hot dog stands inRekjavik are the best in theworld, which speaksmore to ice-inducedmadnessthantheglobalqualityofhotdogs.Still,thistinyislandnationisn’tasvillainousasTheMightyDucks2ledustobelieve,andtheymakeadamnfinedog.Nowyoucantoo.

1tablespoonchoppedcornichons2teaspoonsDijonmustard

1teaspoonchoppedcapers½teaspoonanchovypaste½teaspoonchoppedchives½teaspoonchoppedparsley½teaspoonchoppedtarragon1cupmayo

8steamedhotdogbuns8steamedhotdogs(ifyoucanfindnatural-casinglambdogs,you’reawesome)Brownmustard,toserve

Ketchup,toserve1cupchoppedwhiteonion,toserve1cuppickledredcabbage,toserve(optional)FriedShallots(page274)orcannedfriedonions,toserve1.Foldthecornichons,Dijon,capers,anchovypaste,andherbsintothemayoandstiruntilcombined,thenspreadonbothsidesofthesteamedhotdogbuns.

2.Laythedoginthebunandtopwithmustard,ketchup,whiteonions,cabbage,andfriedshallots.

BEERPAIRING:STOUT

THERIO

Howdidittakeusthislongtocrushuppotatochipsasahotdogtopping?Thankyou,bravepeopleofBrazil.

8steamedhotdogbuns

8steamedhotdogsKetchup,toserveMustard,toserveMayo,toserve1½cupsshreddedcabbagetossedwith2tablespoonscidervinegar1cupthinly-slicedredonion13½-ouncebagpotatochips,removedtoazip-topbagandcrushedHotsauce,toserve

1.Thisisnotaclean-eatinghotdog.Thisisamessycelebrationoflifeandfood.Startbyspreadingwaytoomuchketchup,mustard,andmayoonthedog.

2.Pileonthecabbage,onion,andpotatochips.Squirtwithhotsaucetotasteandserve.


THECOLUMBIAN

SimilartotheRio,butwithmorequailegg!

⅓cupketchup⅓cupmustard⅓cupmayo2tablespoonscrushedpineapple8toastedhotdogbuns

8steamedhotdogsCannedshoestringpotatoes,toserve4boiledquaileggs,cutinhalf1lime,cutinto8wedges

1. Mix the ketchup, mustard, and mayo in a bowl and stir in the crushedpineapple.

2.Laythedogsintothebunsanddrizzlewiththepineapplemayoketchupstardsauce.Topwithmatchstickpotatoesandquaileggsandservewithasqueezeoflime.


UTOPENCI(OR:VFWBARSAUSAGE)

Twothingswelove:travelingtheworldanddivebars.DivebarswithfoodarewhereyougetthefeeloftheregionalflavorsandoneofourfavoritecuisinesisfromPrague.Utopenciisasmokedskinlesssausage (the actual translation is “drowned men”) that’s pickled with onions and in our casecucumbersandjalapeños.It’srumoredtobeahangovercure.

MAKES1GALLONJAR1bayleaf

4cupswater2½cupswhitevinegar1teaspoonsugar

1teaspoonsalt1½teaspoonsyellowmustardseed½teaspoonwholepeppercorns¼teaspoongroundclove314-ouncepackagessmokedkielbasa3whiteonions,sliced1jalapeño,sliced32-ouncejarthick-slicedpickles

5clovesgarlic1.Boil thebay leafwithwater,vinegar,sugarsalt,mustard,peppercorns,andclovefor5minutes.

2.Whileliquidiscooling,cutthesausageinto4-inchlengthsandtheninhalf.Ina gallon-sized pickling jar, layer 6 cut sausages,½ onion, 2 slices jalapeño, 8pickleslices.Topwithgarlicclovesandrepeattothetopofthejar.

3.Pourthepicklingliquidovertofilljar.Coverandrefrigeratefor2weeks.It’sworththewait.

4.Servethesausagetoppedwithonionandpickles.

BEERPAIRING:FLANDERSREDALE

DORITOMALES

This isaneasy,delicious snack thataffectsone’sbrainmuch in themannerofmethamphetamine,finewhiskey,orararebitofpraisefromanemotionallydistantfather.Sure,it’snotexactlyhealthfood, but if you’re going to eat instant ramen and nacho chips, smashing them together intosomethingamazingisn’tgoingmakeitanyworseforyou.

Since instant ramen, bagged chips, and hot water are all items you can find in a bare-bonescommissary,itillustratesthefactthatwelearnedtheartofDoritomalesfromthosedesperate,wild-eyedoutcastsforcedtothemarginsofsociety:graduatestudents.

(Later, we learned that prisoners pioneered the dish, which admittedly didn’t change ourdescriptormuch.)

MAKES4TAMALES43½-ouncepacketsofTopRamen(anyflavor),flavorbasepacketsremoved42⅛-ouncebagsofcheese-flavoredcornchipsSriracha,toserve

1.Boil4cupsofwaterinakettle.

2.Removeflavorpackets fromramenandcrush that ramenuprealgood,son.Make sure to keep each block of noodle-bits separate, because we’remakingfour of these glorious bastards.While you’re crushing the noodles, crush thechipstoo.Mayberemovethechipsfromthebagtocrushsoit’snotpiercedbynachoshrapnel.

3.Placeoneofthecrushednoodleportionsinachipbagalongwithoneofthecrushedchipportions.Shakeituntileverything’sevenlydistributed.

4. Place the bag on a small sheaf of newspaper and add half a cup of boilingwater to the bag, then add the ramen flavor packet. Toss to distribute theseasoning.

5.Addtherestofthewater,mix,androllthebagfromthebottomintoatube-liketamaleshape.Wrapthatwiththenewspaper,thenplaceseamsidedowninasmall pan thatwill corral any straywater.Let it sit for 15minutes to becomesomethingnewandamazing.

6.Unwrap,drizzlethetamalewithSriracha,andeatwithaplasticfork.Youcanusewhateverforkyoulike,butit’sbestwithplastic.

BEERPAIRING:WESTCOASTIPA

DIVEBARPICKLEDEGGS

MAKES12PICKLEDEGGS

12eggs2(15ounce)canswholepickledbeets,juicereserved½cupchoppedwhiteonion2½cupswhitevinegar¾cupwater

¾cupsugar1½teaspoonssalt1½teaspoonspicklingspice8wholecloves1cinnamonstick

3slicedhabaneropeppers3slicedjalapeñopeppers1.Firstoff,keepyourdamneggsinthedamnrefrigerator.Getabigpotofwatertoarollingboil,thendunktheeggsstraightfromthefridgeintotheroilingwaters.Coverthepotandreducetheheattoitsverylowestsetting.

2.Cooktheeggsfor11minuteswhileyouprepareanicebathforthem.Whenthey’redone,shocktheminthewaterandletthemsitfor15minutes.Removeandpeel,ordrythemandletthemchilloutovernightinthefridge.

3.Whenyou’rereadytogeta-picklin’,placethebeets,onion,andpeeledeggsinanon-reactiveglassorplasticcontainerandsetaside.

4.Inamedium-size,non-reactivesaucepan,combinethevinegar,water,sugar,salt, pickling spice, 1 cup reserved beet juice, cloves, cinnamon stick, andpeppers.Bringthemixturetoaboil,stirringfrequently,thenlowertheheatandsimmerfor5minutes.

5.Removefromtheheatandpourthehotliquidmixtureoverbeets,onions,andeggs.Coverandrefrigerateatleast48hours.Forbestresults,refrigeratefor2to3weeks.Usethetimetocoveryourhouseinwoodpanelingandcomplainaboutthedamnpoliticiansandalsokidsthesedays.

BEERPAIRING:GUEZE

BAO(STEAMEDBUNS)

Steamedbuns,orbaozi,areastapleiteminalotofregionalChinesecooking.Soft,pillowybunsgivewayto...well,anything.Dependingonwhereyou’regrabbingasnack,youcangetbarbecuedcharsiu pork, bean paste, custard, or some scrambled eggs and hard sausage.Go nutswith it—Spam,baconjam,asecondsmallerbao—thedoughisyourcanvas.

MAKES12BUNS3¼cups(390grams)unbleachedall-purposeflour¾cup(185grams)warm(120°F)water2½tablespoons(20grams)freshyeast1teaspoon(6grams)salt¾poundchoppedYucatanPork(page185),SesameSteakManapua(page183),ImperialShortribs(page251),oranymeatofyourchoice,tofill

2scallions,slicedthin

1.Add the flourandwater to thebowlofamixer fittedwith thedoughhook.Runonlowuntilcombined,thenaddtheyeastandsalt.Mixfor6to8minutes,untilsmooth.

2. Remove the bowl, cover, and let rise in a warm place for one hour, untildoubled.

3.Dividethedoughinto8to10equalballs,thenrolloutintocircles.

4.Add a tablespoonof filling to each, add apinchof sliced scallion, then liftaroundtheedgesandpinchclosedatthetop,twisting.

5. Line a bamboo steamer with cabbage leaves or parchment paper to avoidstickingandsteam12to15minutes.

BEERPAIRING:APA

WALKINGTACOS

CallitFritoPie,WalkingTacos,Petros,orwhatever,thisisanAmericanclassic.It’sourrich,spicy,beefycollectiveidallwrappeduponacolorfulfoilpacket.Sure,itmakes12,butyou’lleat11ofthemyourself.

MAKES12MOBILETACOS3clovesgarlic,skin-on5driedchilesdearbol,stemsandseedsremoved2driedmulatochiles,stemsandseedsremoved2driedpasillachiles,stemsandseedsremoved1½tablespoonduckfat,baconfat,orvegetableoil1largeyellowonion,diced

3clovesgarlic,peeledandminced

2cupschickenstock1poundbeefbrisket,coarseground1poundbonelessbeefshortrib,coarseground½poundsirloin,coarseground1tablespoonkoshersalt

2tablespoonsbrownsugar20grams(justunder1ounce)bittersweetbakingchocolate(70percentcacao)1tablespoonsoysauce2tablespoonsWorcestershiresauce4tablespoonstomatopaste1teaspoonanchovypaste

1teaspoonchilipowder½teaspooncorianderseeds,toastedandground¼teaspooncuminseeds,toastedandground3cloves,toastedandground

1½cups(12ounces)brownaleorbockbeer¾cuptomatosauce1cupMexicancrema(orsourcream)1mediumavocado,slicedandtossedwithlimejuiceJuiceof½lime121-ouncebagsofcornchips

Choppedwhiteonion,toserveChoppedjalapeños,toserveShreddedextra-sharpcheddar,toserveHotsauce,toserve

1. Heat a heavy skillet over medium heat and toast the skin-on garlic untilslightlyblackened,about3to5minutes.Removeandsetasidetocool.

2.Toastthechiles2to3minutes,flippingfrequentlyandpressingdownwithaspatula,untiljustfragrant.

3.Removethechilestoabowl.Peelgarlicandaddtoaheatproofbowlwiththechiles.

4.Bring thechickenstock toaboilandpourover thechilesandgarlic.Coverwithaheatproofsheetorfoilfor20minutes.

5.Whilethechilessteep,tossthebeeftogethergentlytoevenlymixthegroundcuts.Brown in a largepot inbatches and remove, draining the excess fat.Setaside.

6. Carefully remove the chiles and garlic cloves to a blender carafe or foodprocessor, taking care to reserve the steeping liquid. Pour over enough of thestock to cover and add the salt, sugar, and chocolate. Mix until thoroughlypulverized.Addadditionalsoakingliquidifnecessary.Strainanddiscardsolids.Tasteforseasoningandsetaside.

7.Heatthefatoroilovermediumheatandaddonion.Sautéuntilonionsoftensslightly,about5minutes.Addthegarlicandsautéanotherminute,untilfragrant.AddtheWorcestershire,soysauce,tomatoandanchovypastes,andthegroundspices.Mixandletcook5minutes.

8.Addthebeertothepot,scrapingupanystuck-onbits.Addthemeatandjustunderacupofthechilepuree,stirringtomixthoroughly.Addthetomatosauce.Check forconsistencyandadd remaining stockasnecessary,¼cupat a time.Bringtoaboilandreducetoasimmerfor30minutes.

9.Placethecrema,avocado,andlimejuiceinablenderorfoodprocessorandprocessuntilcompletelysmooth.Tasteforseasoningandsetaside.

10.Tastethechiliandadjustwithcayenne,salt,and/orlimejuice.

11.Openthechipbagsandscoopacoupleladelfulsofchiliintothem.Garnishwiththeonion,jalapeños,crema,cheddar,andhotsauce.

BEERPAIRING:BOCK

IMPERIALSHORTRIBS

Imperialstoutscreateasolidbuzz,whatwiththelargevolumeofmaltthat’susedtocreateathick,sweetbeerhighinalcohol.Thissweetnessisalsogreatforcooking.Takethebitternessofanchoandthesweetnessofanimperialstout,throwincoffeeforgoodmeasureandyou’regoingtogetastellarbraise.

MAKES8POTIONS5driedanchochiles,stems,seeds,andribsremoved1¼cupsfreshbrewedcoffee3clovesgarlic,peeled2tablespoonshoney

1tablespoonoil8cross-cutbeefshortribs(3to4poundstotal),excessfattrimmed1¼cupsimperialstout1largeyellowonion,quartered

1teaspoonlimejuice½teaspoonsalt½teaspoonpepper


2.Soak thechiles inbowlofwater for30minutesuntil soft, then removeandcombinechiles,coffee,garlic,andhoneyinfoodprocessorandpuree.

3.Onthestove,heatoilinapotorDutchovenoverhighheatandbrownribs.This should take about 5minutes total but youmay need to do it in batchesdependingonthesizeofyourpan.

4.Removeribsandoil,reserving1teaspoonfordripping.

5. Add chile puree and beer to pot, scrape the bottom, bring to a boil, andsimmerforafewminutes.

6. Line bottom of braising pan with onions and top with short ribs. Spoonbraisingliquidoverthetop.

7.Coverandcook in theoven for2½hours,bastingeveryhour, thenuncoverandcookforanotherhour.

8.Removeribsandonions,skimfat,andtheaddthelimejuice,salt,andpepperreducethesauceuntilthickened,stirringconstantly.Plateribsandonions,thenpoursauceover.

BEERPAIRING:GOSE

BACONSNICKERSNACKBARS

ThiscomesinatmorethantwicetheingredientsofourDoritomale(page242),butyoucanstillgeteverythingyouneedattheclosestconveniencestore.Remember,itstillcountsasstreetfoodifyou’vejuststumbledinfromthestreet.

Thisisanotherimportantbuildingblockinourdreamtosomedaythrowaseven-course,tastingmenu dinner using entirely items from the Hudson News in Terminal 3 of O’Hare InternationalAirport.

MAKESONE9×9-INCHPAN5stripsofbacon,cutinto½-inchlardons

Bagofmarshmallows¼cupbutter1boxofpuffedricecereal2kingsizesnickerbars,cutinto½-inchchunks

1.Cookthebaconinapotovermediumuntilthefatrendersandthepiecesstarttobecomecrispy.Removetoatowel-linedplate.

2. Add the marshmallows to the pot, along with the butter, and stir untilcompletelymelted.

3.Dropthecereal inandremovethepotfromtheheat.Stiruntileverythingisevenlymixed,thenstirintheSnickersandbacon.

4.Wheneverything’smixedniceandevenly,turnthemixtureoutintoagreased9×9-inchpanandpatdownuntileverything’sdistributedevenlyandthetopissmooth.

5.Letcoolfor30minutes,thenflipthepanoverontoacuttingboard.Cutinto2×2-inchsquaresandserveimmediately.

BEERPAIRING:ENGLISHPALEALE

KNIVESANDSTONESInourbraveneweraofScienceCooking,it’simportanttorememberthatsometimesallittakestomakesomethingdeliciousissomethingsharptocutwithorsomethingheavytosmashthecrapoutofingredients.

Let’sgiveyouthe lowdownonbuyingasharpknifeandkeepingit thatway, thenwe’llmakesomedeliciousfoodwiththeaidofabsolutelynocookingsurface.

IWILLCUTYOU:OurPolitebutFirmSuggestionsforUsingandMaintainingKnives

Forall thefancyexpensive-as-shitgadgetry thatyoucanbuyafterwatchingotherpeoplecookonTV,TheKnifestandsaloneinitsusefulness.Youcancookasteakonahotrockifyouwant(theyhaveentirerestaurantsforit!),butyoucan’tfilletafishwithaprisonshiv.Agoodknifeisessential,andyourabilitytocareforitisessentialtoitscontinuedexcellence.

Ifyou’vegonethroughtheknife-buyingprocessbefore, thenyouknowthat there’sanendlessselectionofkitchencutlerymadeofevery imaginablematerial forsupposedlyeverypurpose.Andjust likeanyconsumerproductclass,a lotof it ispurecrap.Luckily,yourUncleManBQue(whosmellslikewhiskeybutisgenerallyagoodsort)isheretohelpyousortthroughthebullshitandgetwhatyouneed.

Buywhatyouneed

It’sreallyeasytostepinfrontofagleamingselectionofknivesandenvisionyourselfasabadasslone Ronin on the culinary battlefields. But the entire expensive kitchen crap industry is basedaround these inflated expectations, because they want your money and they’ll go overboard instokingyourfictionalsamuraiegotodoso.So,muchasitpainsustosay,youprobablydon’tneedaHattoriHanzosushisword,specialkitchenshears,orsomethingthatcancutthroughsoupcans.

Infact, ifyou’repackingaculinaryapocalypsekit,youreallyonlyneed twoknives—achef’sknifeandaparingknife.Thechef’sknifeshouldbebetween6and10incheslong.Therearevariousstylesofchef’sknives—French,santoku,cooks’,droppoint—andtherealdistinctionsarecomfortandpersonalchoice.Aparingknifeisaparingknife,notalotofoptionsthere.

Notthatyouneedtokeepthingsthatascetic.Agoodfiletknifeisimportantifyoudoalotofwhole fish.Adedicatedboningknifemeansyou’renotbeatingupagoodsharpedgeoncartilageandbone.Aserratedbreadknifeisgoodtohave,andathriftstoreknifewillsliceyourbratbunjustaswellasahandcraftedfull-tangcobaltwithunicornhandle.

Skiptheblocksets

Generallyspeaking,bigknifeblocksareagimmicktoselltheotherweirdknivesnobodynormallybuys.Theywastecounterspaceandareusuallynotworththemoney.Buythetwoorthreeyoureallyneedandskiptheforty-twopiecematchingsetyourfiancéewantstoregisterfor.

“But,”yousay,“thisonecomeswithsteakknives!”Thosearesilverware,notkitchenequipment,andthey’reusuallypoorqualitythrow-ins.Areyou

inthemarketforsomenewflatware?Great,getsomesteakknivesthatmatchandputthemallinthedrawertogether.

Skipthespaceagepolymers

Youdon’tneedpoly-carbide-nanotube-cyborgknives.Robocopdoesn’tevenneedthem,andhe’s…youknow,arobotandstuff.Also,wedon’tthinkheeats.Andhe’sfictional.

Onepopularalternateknifematerialisceramic.Itcanbesharperthantraditionalknifematerials,butceramicknivesarealsopronetochipping.Thecatchthereisthattheycan’tbesharpenedwithtypicalequipment,ifatall.Knivesmadeofmetalaremoredurableandeasiertocarefor.

Therearealsocountless“asseenonTV”knifeproductsavailable.Onthatsubject,don’t.Just…don’t.

Themajorityofqualitykitchenknivesaremadeofhighcarbonsteel,stainlesssteel,orablendoftwocalled“highcarbonstainlesssteel”(metallurgistsaren’taverycreativelot).Highcarbonsteelsharpens easier, holds an edge longer, and is generallymore durable than stainless.But it’smoreexpensiveanditrusts.Stainlessischeaperandwon’trust,butitdoesn’tholdanedgenearlyaswell.

Highcarbonstainless,ourcreativelynamedhybrid,holdsanedgelongerthannormalstainlesssteel,and it’s still cheaper thancarbonsteel—it’s really thebestofbothworlds. It’snotaperfectbalance,andtherearedefinitelypeoplewhowillargueatlengththatcarbonsteelistheonlywaytogo.Butformostcooks,highcarbonstainlesssteelwillofferthebestperformanceforyourmoney.

Shopinperson

You don’t necessarily need to buy in person, but get your actual physical hands on some knivesbeforedeciding.Unlessyou’reonaTVshowand someone ispayingyougobsofmoney to shilltheir brand, comfort is the deciding factor. Stop into one of those high-end kitchen stores withFrenchwordsorampersandsintheirnameandtryoutsomeoptions,seehowtheyfeelinyourhand.Thinkofitlikebuyingshoes.Reallyshiny,sharpshoes.

Don’tfallforprettyknives

Therearealotofprettyknivesoutthere.Theytendtobeexpensive.Some options on knives are cosmetic and will raise the price while offering little to the

functionalityoftheblade.Theseinclude:

• Hammeredfinish.Thisunevensurfaceofthebladewillbreaksurfacetensionandkeepfoodsfromstickingtotheblade.Butagrantonorscallopededgewilldothesamewithoutaddingasmuchtothepricetag.

• Hollowground.Thesharpenededgecurvestotheapex,whichoccurswhenabladeissharpenedonasmallwheel.It’scommoninstraightrazors,notsomuchwithkitchenknives.Thistermisusuallyused(incorrectly)todescribeagrantonorscallopededge.

• Tropicalwoodhandles.Reallypretty…andabsolutelynofunction.Woodhandlesingeneraldon’tofferanyadditionalbenefitovercomposite.Woodvsplasticisamatterofpersonalchoiceasneitheris“better”thantheother.

• Damascussteel.Alsoknownaswootzsteel,originallyanancientmaterial/methodbelievedtohaveoriginatedwiththeswordmakersoftheMiddleEastandIndia.Nowappliedtoanymetalthathascoolswirlsandpatternsinit.

• “Folded(insertnumberof)___times”.Reminiscentofsamuraiswords.Thefoldingandhammeringofmetaldoesn’tactuallyaddanybenefitovermodernforgingmethods.Soundsgood,looksgood,

addswaytoomuchmoneytothesticker.

It’snotthatprettybladesarebad.Actually,mostofthebrandsthatbothertomakethemprettyaregoodbrands.Butyoucanlikelyfindsomethingwithsimilarfunctionalityforalotless.Forourcatering jobs, we’ll use generic knives made by a dependable cutlery company—Forschner orMundialknivesaresharpenoughthatyou’llwanttousethemeveryday,butifsomeonewalksoffwithone,it’snotEarth-shatteringtoreplaceathirty-fivedollarknife.

Easywith“Themostdangerousknifeisadullone”

Tobeginwith,thatisprobablythedumbestkitchenexpression.Asharpknifewillfuckyouuptheminuteyoustartjackingaroundwithit,justlikeadullone.Kitchenknivesaresharp,period.Ifit’snotsharp,you’dhavebetterluckdeboningthatlegoflambwithyourteeth.Youdon’tneedafaux-sagecatchphrase—justsharpenyourdamnknives.

Moreover,trytosharpenyourownknives.It’snotthathard,it’llsaveyoumoney(providingyoueven take your knives in for sharpening as opposed to ignoring it), and there’s something oddlysatisfying aboutmethodically polishing steel against a rock until it’s sharp enough to shavewith.Thereareasmanychoicesofstoneasthereareknives,buthere’stheslowandskinny:Buyatwo-sided,bondedabrasivestone,onesideat1,000grittheotherat5,000.Pickupatwo-dollarknifeatGoodwill and practice. It’s really that simple, provided you’re asking us and not the guy at theexpensiveknifestore.

Steelyourself

Soyou’vebeenwatchinga lotof foodshows, takingnotesandworkingonyourbestBobbyFlayimpression.Suddenly thecelebritychef-of-the-weekstarts flipping theedgeofhis twelve-hundreddollar samurai chef knife back and forth across thatmetal sharpener thingy. It looks awesome. Itsounds awesome.You need to learn how to sharpen your knife like that guy, right now. SHICKSHICKSHICK.

Thereareafewproblems,butlet’sstartat thebeginning.It’sTV,it’swelledited,andit’snot“real.”

Butalmostas important, that’snota“sharpener”andthatactiondoesn’tsharpenablade.Thatpieceofequipmentishoningsteel,usuallyjustcalledasteel.(Nobodycallsita“honer”...).Theycome in awidevarietyof shapes, sizes, andmaterials; but theyall serve the samepurpose.Theystraightentheedgeoftheblade.

Usingaknifewillbegin to fold the thinnestpartof theedge toonesideor theother; this isanormaloccurrenceandwillhappenwithanybladeundernormaluse.Thisfold,orburr,decreasestheprecisionof theknifeandif itbecomestooseverewill result inmoreofsmushingactionthenactually cutting. A honing steel has either parallel ridges along its length or abrasive grit likesandpaperthatisdesignedtoremoveaslightamountofmaterialfromtheblade.

Usingahoningsteeliseasy,butyouhavetotakeitslowandpayattentionwhileyou’regettingthehangof it.Not enoughof an angle and themotiondoes nothing effective.You’ll continue tosmashthat tomato insteadofslicing it.Toomuchangleandyouwillget immediatesliceyresults,butthesteelcaneventuallydulltheknife’sedge.Theanglebetweenthebladeandthesteelshouldmatch theangleof theedgewhensharpened. Ifyouhaven’t sharpened theknifeyourself,do thatfirst.Generallyspeaking,mostbladeshavethirtydegreeedges.

Ready?Sharp?Timetohone:Slidetheknifedownthelengthofthesteelwhilesimultaneouslyslidingthelengthofthebladeawayfromthesteel.Dothesametothereversesideofthebladeand

repeatacouple times.Thedirectionof theblade inrelation to thesteel (pushordrag) ismostlyamatterofpreference,butit’sagoodgeneralruletomovetheknifeawayfromyourself.

Do thisenough times,effectivelyenough,andmaybeonedayyoucando the super-fancyTVSHICKSHICKSHICKmotionandhaveawell-honedknifeinfourseconds.You’lllooksupercool.Butuntilthen,you’llhaveareallysharp,well-honedknife.Andthat’sthebiggestfavoryoucandoforyourcooking.

Ifyouhaveanextrafancyninjaswordofachef’sknife,youshouldprobablyspendthemoneyfortheextraspecialhoningsteelthatgoeswithit.Notonlywillthematchingsetgogreatwiththoseshoes,buthighendknivestendtobemadeofmetalalotharderthanaveragekitchenimplements—including steels. Ifyouhoneaknifeonmaterial softer than theknife, theknifewill cut the steel,eventuallysmoothingoutthesteelinsteadofshavingofftheburr.

PRETTY-DAMN-CLOSEMUFFULETTASANDWICH

Whileit’snotimpossibletofoolsomeonefromNewOrleansonanauthenticdishfromtheBigEasy,it’sdamnwellhardenough.Westoppedtryingyearsago.Nowwestrivefora“prettydamnclose,”whichistheregionalequivalentoftwoMichelinstars.Thisgetsyourighttothatalmost-as-good-as-homelinewithouttheCatholicguiltkickingin.

MAKES1LOAF-SIZEDSANDWICH½cupoil-packedblackolives,chopped½cupoil-packedgreenolives,chopped¼cupchoppedoil-packedartichokehearts¼cupoliveoil

2tablespoonsroastedredpepper,diced

2tablespoonsdicedpimentos1tablespooncapers,rinsedandchopped½teaspoongarlicpowder½cupdicedSuper16-BitGiardiniera(page281),diced1roundsesameloaf,split½poundprovolonecheese,sliced½poundsoppressata,sliced¼poundhotcapicola,sliced¼poundmortadella,sliced

1.Mixtheolives,artichokehearts,oil,pepper,pimentos,capers,garlicpowder,andgiardiniera,andwhisktocombine.Ifyou’refondofthedark,muddytextureofatraditionalolivesalad,pulseit2to3timesinafoodprocessor.Welikeoursalittlechunky.

2.Spreadaprotectivelayerofprovolonealongthebottomofthebread,thentopwithhalfoftheolivesalad.

3. Layer the meats in alternating geological shifts until you’ve exhausted themeats(wecallthatDagwood-ing).

4.Spreadtheremainingolivesaladoverthetopandpressthetophalfoftheloafdown firmly. Cut into quarters and find three other friends who miss thehumidityandLSUfootball.Wrapleftoversinwaxpaperandfoil.

BEERPAIRING:BOCK

BOURBON,BANANA,ANDNUTELLAPALETAS

PaletasaretherefreshingicepopbelovedofMexico,CentralAmerica,andtheCaribbean.Youcanflavor them any way you want (the Kentucky whiskey and Italian hazelnut spread are … nottraditional).Plus, in countrieswherepaleta carts crawlupanddown the streetduringhotAugustafternoons,younevereverhavetoheartheeerieLynchiandroningofanicecreamtruckspeaker.

MAKES6PALETAS1veryripebanana,sliced1cupofbourbon2cupscoconutmilk4tablespoonsNutella

1tablespooncrushedwalnuts1.Soakbananaslicesinbourbonforuptotwoweeks.

2.WhisktogetherthecoconutmilkandNutellauntilalloftheclumpshavebeensmoothedout.

3.Transferthecoconut/Nutellamixtureintoablenderorfoodprocessor,addthebananas,andmixuntilverysmooth.

4.Inaseparatebowl,addthecrushedwalnutsandmixevenly.

5.Pourinto4to6moldsandfreezeatleast4hoursorovernight.

6.Unmoldbyfirstrunningalittlecoldwateroveroutsideofmolds,thengentlypullingthesticks.

CHIPOTLECOCTELDECAMARONES

ThebestpartaboutMexicobeachvacationshasalwaysbeentheseafood.Therewasalwayschilledshrimpcocktailfromabeach-sideshack.We’vetriedandmademanyiterationsofshrimpcocktail,tryingtogetthatexacttastejustright.Youcangetascomplicatedasyouwantwithshrimpcocktailsbutthisrecipeshouldbethebaselineforwhatevercreationyourmindwillcomeupwith.

SERVES41poundmediumshrimp,raw

1cupchoppedredonion1cuppeeled,dicedcucumber½cupchoppedcelery1jalapeño,minced1½cupsfreshlychoppedtomatoes,withtheirjuices½cuptomatosauce½cupadobosauce¼cupchoppedcilantro

2tablespoonsfreshlimejuice1avocado,choppedSeasalt,totasteSaltines,toserve

1.Bringalargesaucepanfilledwithsaltedwatertoaboil(atablespoonofsaltforevery2quartsofwater,feelfreetoaddotherseasonings).Addtheshrimp,and cook for 2 to 3minutes, until just cooked through.The shrimp should bepinkandopaque.

2. Add chopped onions, cucumber, celery, jalapeño, tomatoes, tomato andchipotlesauces,cilantro,limejuice,andavocadointoalargebowl.

3.Cut¾oftheshrimpintolargechunks,leavingtheother¼wholeandaddtothebowlwiththeotheringredients.Combinealltheingredients,gentlystirring

together.

4.Chillforatleast15minutesbeforeserving.

5.Toserve,addsalttotasteandservewithsaltines.

BEERPAIRING:PILSNER

GUACAMOLE(“IT’SEXTRA,YOUKNOWTHAT,RIGHT?”)

Guacamoleisbeautifulinitssimplicity,rightuptothepointwhereyouscrewitallupbytryingtogetfancy.Sticktothis,friend.Itwillneversteeryouwrong.

Also,someonemayhavetoldyouatonepointthatkeepingtheavocadopitintheguacisgoingtokeepitfromgoingbrown.That’snotevenremotelytrueoreffective,butitdoesindicatewhoamongyourfriendsmakesguacamoleanddoesn’tlookintotheexplanationsofthings.Anythingyoudotopreservethelifeoftheguacisgoingtoinvolvekeepingairandoxidationout.Yourbestbetisalayeroflimejuiceontop,alayerofplasticwrapdirectlyonthat,andthencoveringthewholeshebanginanairtightcontainer.Orjusteatitallnow,whileit’satitsverypeak.Livefortoday,man.

MAKESABOUT3CUPS2teaspoonsseasalt

1teaspoonlimejuice2ripeavocados,pittedanddiced½cupdicedredonion3clovesgarlic,minced

1.Sprinklesaltandlimejuiceontheavocados.

2.Foldinonionandgarlic,mashingslightlywithawoodenspoonifthat’syourthing.

3.Serveimmediately—eachmomentistheverybestthatguacisgoingtoeverbe.

BEERPAIRING:LAGER

SWORDFISH&SCALLOPMANGOCEVICHETOSTADAS

JessehasanunclethatlivesinManzanillo,Mexico.Hewasaveryaccomplishedsportfisherman.Theguyhasahugesailfishmountedinhislivingroom.Hewouldhavesomegreatcookoutsonthebeachandhealwaysmadethisamazingceviche.Jesseonceaskedforhisrecipeandtheguylaughedhimaway.Inresponse,wecameupwithourownandit’sbetterthanhis.Plushiskidisanasshole.SoJessewins.Butthankstohimallthesameforinspiringthisrecipe.

MAKES4TOSTADAS¾poundswordfish,skinnedanddicedinto¼-inchpieces¼cupbayscallops1cupfreshmango,diced½cupfinelychoppedredonion¾cupcilantro

1cuplimejuice½cupjalapeño1finelychoppedserranopepper3tablespoonsmezcal2tablespoonsvirginoliveoil3teaspoonsseasalt1teaspoonblackpepper

4tostadas

1.Inalargebowl,mixtheswordfish,scallops,mango,onion,andcilantro.

2.Stirinthelimejuice,jalapeño,serranopepper,mezcal,andoliveoil.

3.Seasonwithseasaltandpepperandmixwell.Covertightlywithplasticwrapandrefrigeratefor4to5hours.

4.Serveontostadas,addsomeavocado/tomatillosalsabetweenthecevicheandtostada.

BEERPAIRING:FARMHOUSESAISON

TRAMEZZINO

TramezzinoistheItalian’stakeonaBritishteasandwich.ThisisourtakeontheItalian’ssandwich.Wherewillitstop?Wedon’tdrinkmuchteaeither,sopairitwithabeer.Thesandwichisacrustlesssquarebreadslicedinhalf.It takesminutestomakeandisanon-the-godishinItaly.Youcaneateachsandwichinfourbites!

MAKES8SANDWICHES½poundsoftfreshgoatcheese⅓cupforellepear,chopped½tablespoonchoppedwalnuts1loafItalianbread,sliced8slicesProsciutto,cutintostrips

Babyarugula1. In a food processor, combine goat cheese and pears, then process untilsmooth.Mixinchoppedwalnuts.

2.Slicebreadandcutoffcrustssoslicesaresquare.

3. Layer prosciutto, arugula, and the goat cheese spread on sandwich. Slicesandwichintotrianglesandserve.


PIGWICH

Ifyouhadtochooseonesandwichtoeatfortherestofyourlife,thisshouldbeit.YoucanmakeafullSmokedPorchettafromscratch(page164),useleftovers,orpurchasesomefinecuredmeatsfromaruddybutcherwithaheartofgold.

MAKES12SANDWICHES¾cupmayonnaise1tablespooncapers,chopped3clovesgarlic,minced

2tablespoonslemonjuice½teaspoonkoshersalt½teaspoonfreshlygroundblackpepper12ciabattarolls,split6poundsporchetta,chopped

3cupsbabyarugula

1.Tomaketheaioli,mixthemayonnaise,capers,garlic,lemonjuice,salt,andpepper with a whisk or in a food processor until blended. Refrigerate for 30minutes.

2.Openciabattarollandlayerporchettaandarugulaonthebottomhalf.Spreadtheaioliontheinsidetophalfofciabattaandplaceontotheporkandarugulatomakethefinestporksandwichever.

BEERPAIRING:SAISON

DRUNKGUYNACHOS!RECIPEBYLUKEGELMAN

If you’re like us, you love to drink, enjoy life, and eat some nachos. This simple recipe takes fiveminutes and requiresminimalmotor skills.We call them pay-it-forward nachos because you canprepthenachosbeforeyougoouttothebarsandyoucanquicklymakethem.Plusifyoudecidetogotobedwithouteating...BOOM!Breakfastnachos.

Note: This is a 5-minute recipe. You can substitute everything here for store bought and pre-prepared.ThefirsttimewetriedthisitwaswithleftoversfromalocalTex-Mex.

MAKES1GIANTPLATEOFNACHOS2stripsbacon1egg

Tortillachips½cupshreddedcheese¼cupGrilledFruitandSweetCornSalsa(page296)¼cupGuacamole(page263)Hotsauce,totaste

1.Firstup,getaplateand2sheetsofpapertowels.Layyourbaconononepapertowelandcoverwiththeotherpapertowel.Putitinthemicrowavefor1½to2minutes,untiltheyarejustaboutcrispy.Watchout,itwillbehot.

2.Whileyourbaconisinthemicrowave,fillasmallcoffeemughalfwaywithwateranddropyoureggin.Whenthebaconcomesout,microwaveyoureggfor45secondsto1minuteandchecktoseeifthewaterisgettingcloudy.Ifso,youaregood.

3. Placeone layer of chipsonyourplate and coverwith the shredded cheese.Thenaddanother layerofchipsandmorecheese.Almost likea lasagna.Go3layersandputitinthemicrowavefor1minute.Whilethisisgoing,shredyourbaconintochunks.

4. When the cheese is melted, plate your cooked egg, bacon, salsa, andguacamole,andpouryourhotsauceallover.You’redone.5minutes,amazingnachos.

BEERPAIRING:PILSNERTONIGHTANDANINTERVENTIONTOMORROW.

PIMENTOCHEESE

ThisiscaviaroftheSouth,accordingtopeoplewhodon’tseemtoknowwhatcaviarisortasteslike.Nonetheless,itisadeliciousburgertopping,anytimesnack,orspectacularlyineffectivetoothpaste.

MAKES2CUPS1poundextra-sharpcheddar,grated½cupmayonnaise½cupdicedpimentos2clovesgarlic,minced1teaspooncayennepepper

1teaspoonWorcestershire½teaspoonMarmite(optional)1jalapeño,seededanddiced1.Placetheshreddedcheddarinalarge,chilledmixingbowlandgentlystirinthemayonnaise.You’renotmakingabeercheesehere—itshouldjustlooselycometogether.

2.Foldinthepimentos,garlic,cayenne,Worcestershire,Marmite,andjalapeño.Serveimmediatelywithcrackersandhotsauce.

BEERPAIRING:PALELAGER

THEPANTRY

We know better than anyone that there’s not alwaysenoughtimetocooksomething,butthere’salwaystimetoopenajar.Orabeerandajar,inwhateverorderyoulike. These are the stockpilable (yes, it’s aword) andtime-tested recipes for our favorite condiments andpantry staples. Throw these on some leftovers orsomething readymade and you’ve got a moreinterestingdish.WegottheideafromthatladyonTVwhomakesKwanzaacakewithEntenmann’sandasksriddlesunderthebridge.

MB(B)QSAUCE

Just taking the time tomakean easybarbecue saucewilldowonders foryour cooking reputationamongyourfriends.Take it fromus—there’snostore-broughtsaucethatcomesclosetothefresh,tangytasteofthequickhomemadeversion.Sendthatgloppyvat-birthedketchupbacktoHellwhereitbelongs.

MAKES4CUPS

2cupstomatosauce⅓cupcidervinegar2tablespoonspeanutoil

4tablespoonsyellowmustard¼cupmolasses¼cuprawsugar1cupdarkbrownsugar1tablespoonskoshersalt2teaspoonshotsauce

1teaspoonsmokedsweetpaprika

1.Mixeverything inamediumsaucepan.Bring toaboil, reduce theheat toasimmer,andcookfor25to30minutes,stirringoften.

2.Blend,strain,andstore inanairtightglasscontainer forup toa fewweeks.You’llprobablyuseitallbeforethen.

FRIEDSHALLOTS

MAKES4CUPS4shallots,slicedthinonamandoline

2cupsflour1tablespoonsalt,plusmoretoseason

2teaspoonsblackpepperPeanutoil,tofry

1.Heatoilto325°F.

2.Patshallotsdryanddredgeinflour.

3.Fryinbatchesfor1to2minutes,untilcrispandbrowned.

4.Removetodrainonpapertowels,newspaper,orapaperbag.Seasonwithsaltimmediately.

5. Let cool and store at room temperature in a covered container for up to 1week.

KATSUSAUCE

Thisisagreatsauceforanythingfried,butespeciallyourKatsuPork(page93)MAKES2CUPS

1cupketchup½cupWorcestershiresauce¼cupdemi-glace¼cupsugar3tablespoonssoysauce2tablespoonsmirin

2tablespoonsmustard½teaspoongarlicpowder1.Combineallingredientsinasmallsaucepan.Heatoverlow,stirring,untilthesugarsdissolveandthemixtureachievesconsistency.Useimmediately.

SPICYPICKLEDWATERMELON

If you can pickle watermelon rind, truly the armadillo of fruits, then you can officially pickleanythingtomakeitdelicious.

You’llneedtoplanonanovernightsoaktocarrythisrecipethroughcompletion,sowehopethisisn’tawatermelonrindemergency.

MAKES3PINTSRindfromhalfofamedium-sized(5to10pound)watermelon1½cupscanesugar,divided¼cupseasalt

2stickscinnamon¾tablespoonwholecloves,divided1largeorange,thinlysliced2limes,thinlysliced½cupapplecidervinegar½cupdistilledwhitevinegar1tablespooncoarselychoppedThaichiles

1. Prepare the watermelon rinds by removing the green skin with a peeler orutilityknife.Cutawaymostoftheredfleshwithaknife,butleaveathincoat.Cutasmuchoftherindaspossibleinto½-inchcubes(thoughmuchlikepeople,many of the pieceswill be oddly shaped) until you have 10 cups of rind. Setaside.

2.Inalargestockpotovermedium-lowheat,combine3quartsofwaterwith¼cup sugar, the salt, 2 cinnamon sticks, and 1 tablespoon cloves. Stir until thesugarandsaltarecompletelydissolved,thenremovefromheatandletcool.

3.Transferthewatermelonrindintothebrine.Weighdowntherindwithaplatesotheystaycompletelycovered.Soakovernight.

4.Didyoustayupallnightbecauseyouweresoexcitedaboutrinds?No?Yousaythat’swhataweirdpersonwoulddo?Fine.Draintherindandrinseseveral

timeswithcoldwater.Ass.

5.Placetherindsinalargestockpotandcoverwithcoldwater.Bringtoaboil,lowerheattoasimmer,andcook10minutes,untilthepiecesaretenderbutstillcrisp.Removefromheat,drain,andsetaside.

6.Placetheorangeandlimeslices,vinegars,remainingsugar,cinnamonsticks,Thaichiles,and remainingcloves instockpotwith3cupsofwater.Bring toaboiloverhighheat.

7.Addtherinds,bringbacktoaboil,reduceheattolow,cover,andsimmerfor10minutes.

8.Drain the rinds, catching the liquid in a bowl, and set them aside.Add theliquid back to the stockpot, bring to a boil over high heat, and reduce until itthickensslightly,12to15minutes.Transferthesyruptoametalbowlandletitcool.

9.Packtherindsintothreeglasspintjars.Dividethesyrupevenlybetweenjars,cover,andthey’rereadytoeat.Itkeepsintherefrigeratorforupto2weeks.

UKBROWNSAUCE

ThisisourownversionoftheUnitedKingdom’sbelovedHPsauce,whichiswhatitwouldbelikeiftheEnglishhadinventedHeinz57.Weirdlyenoughconsideringthesubjectmatter,theLatinmarketisprobablyyourbestbetforfindingtamarindpulp.

Yes,thisisalotofingredients.OfferitupfortheQueen.

MAKESABOUT4CUPSOFFINISHEDSAUCE2cupschoppedapple

1cupchoppedyellowonion⅓cupwater½cupwhitewinevinegar½cupcidervinegar¾cuptomatopaste½cupapplejuice½cuporangejuice½cuptamarindpulp¼cupmolasses3dates,pittedandchopped3prunes,chopped1½teaspoonskoshersalt½teaspoononionpowder½teaspooncrushedblackpeppercorns½teaspooncrackedmustardseed½teaspoonallspiceberries¼teaspoonwholecloves¼teaspoongarlicpowder⅛teaspooncinnamon

1.Addeverythingfromtheapplestoprunestoalargesaucepan.Bringtoaboil,reduceheattoasimmer,andletcook45minutes.

2.Add the salt and spices, stir to combine, and simmeranother30minutes tothicken.

3.Pureethenpushthroughameshstrainer.

4.Tasteandadjustseasoningwithadditionalcidervinegarand/orsalt.Storeinglassjars.

CALIENTECHOCOLATESAUCE

ThisisagreatdippingsauceforChurros(page69)orfriedsweetanything.Itaddsdepthtogrilledfruitslikepineapple.

MAKESABOUT1½CUPS½cupheavycream¾cupchoppedMexicanchocolate½teaspoonarbolchilipowder½teaspoonvanillaextract¼teaspoongroundcinnamon

1.Heat theheavycream inamediumsaucepanovermedium-lowheatuntil itbeginstosimmer.

2. In a separate bowl, combine the chocolate, chili powder, vanilla, andcinnamon.

3.Pourthehotcreamoverthecombinedingredientsandwhiskuntilsmooth—pickonedirection,clockwiseorcounter-clockwise,andstickwithitforamoreattractiveresult.

VANILLACAJETA

MAKESABOUT5CUPS4cupsgoat’smilk4cupswholemilk2cupssugar

1tablespoongroundcinnamon½teaspoonbakingsoda1teaspoonwater

2tablespoonsvanillaextract

1. In a large pot, whisk together the milk, sugar, and cinnamon and set overmedium-highheat.Bringtoasimmer,whiskingperiodically.

2.Inasmallbowl,mixtogetherbakingsodaandwateruntilcombined.Removepotfromheatandslowlywhiskinbakingsoda.Themixturewillbubbleup,sobecarefultonotletitspillover.Hugemess—we’dknow.

3.Whenthebubblessubside,placethepotbackovermedium-highheat.Bringbacktoasimmer,stirringfrequently.Keepaneyeontheheat.

4.Cookfor2hours,stirringfrequentlysothecajetadoesn’tburnatthebottom.

5.When it’s reduced by half, remove from heat and stir in the vanilla. Servewarm.

99LUFTBALONSCURRYSAUCE

ThisisourverybestversionofthebelovedGermanstreetfoodketchup.

MAKESABOUT2½CUPS

2tablespoonsvegetableoil¾poundchoppedyellowonion2tablespoonscurrypowder

1tablespoonsmokedhotpaprika2cupspeeledcannedtomatoes,crushed(alongwiththejuices)½cupsugar½cupcidervinegar

1. Heat the oil over medium heat in a large skillet. Sauté the onion untiltranslucent,thenaddthecurryandpaprikaandcookanotherminute.

2. Add the tomatoes, sugar, and vinegar. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to asimmer,andcook15to20minutes,untilthickened.

3.Pureeinablenderorfoodprocessorandstrainbeforeserving.

DINERSAUCERECIPEBYLUKEGELMAN

Areyougriddlingaslabofmeat?Cookingonionsuntilthey’reheldtogetheronlybysugarandhope?Doyoujustneedsomethingtotastelikeakickassshort-ordercookhadahandinit?Thenthisisthesauceyouneed.

MAKESABOUT1½CUPS4eggyolks

2tablespoonscidervinegar¾cupgrape-seedoil4tablespoonsyellowmustard

1teaspoonkoshersalt¼teaspoonblackpepper¼cupgratedonion½teaspoonhotpaprika

1.Whisktheeggsandvinegar,slowlyaddingtheoil,untilitthickens.Doesthisseemfamiliar?That’sbecauseyou’remakingmayo.

2.Whenthemayoforms,stirinthemustard,salt,pepper,onion,andpaprika.

3. Taste for seasoning, adjust with salt or vinegar, and enjoy this belovedbastardizedsauceyou’vemade.Welldone.

ISLANDPEANUTSAUCE

MAKESABOUT2CUPS1½cupscoconutmilk¼cupsmoothpeanutbutter⅓cupdarkbrownsugar1½tablespoonssoysauce1tablespoonredcurrypaste

3tablespoonsfreshlimejuice

1.Whiskthecoconutmilk,peanutbutter,brownsugar,soysauce,andredcurrypasteinasaucepan.Bringtoaboil,reduceheattoasimmer,andletcookfor3minutes.

2.Removefromheatandwhiskinthelimejuice.

PINEAPPLEBOURBONSAUCE

MAKES¾CUPS¾cuppineapplejuice½cupwater¼cupbourbon1tablespoonpackedbrownsugar

1teaspoonvanilla

1.Inasmallbowl,mixallingredientswell.

2. Insmallpanovermedium-high,reducesaucemixturefor4minutes;shouldreducedowntohalf.

3.LetsaucecooltoroomtemperaturebeforeusingasadippingsauceforyourScotchEgg(page65).

CAJUNREMOULADE

MAKES1¾CUPS1¼cupsmayonnaise¼cupstone-groundmustard1clovegarlic,smashed1tablespoonpicklejuice1tablespooncapers

1teaspoonpreparedhorseradish¼teaspoongroundcayennepepper¼teaspoonhotpaprika½teaspoontabascosauce

1.Placeallingredientsintoafoodprocessorandblenduntilsmooth.IfyoulacksuchJetsons-eratechnology,thenwhisktheholyhelloutofit.Chilluntilreadytoserve.

DUCKSAUCE

Duck (or orange) sauce is abit of a conundrum: It containsneitherducknor orangeand,despitebeingfeaturedprominentlyinmostChineserestaurantsinthegoodol’U.S.ofA.,itisnotofChineseorigin.AnAmericancreation(inkeepingwithoursociety’sloveofdippingfriedchunksofmeatinasauceofsomekindoranother),itgetsthename“orangesauce”fromtheorangecolorimpartedbyitsingredients.

Thereareducksaucerecipesontheol’interwebthatbasicallycallfordumpingfruitpreservesinabowlandmashingthemup,butwepreferthismethod,inwhichrealfruitiscookeddowntoreleasealloftheirrespectiveflavorsandthenpureedintoasmooth,richsaucesuitablefordipping.Italsomakesafantasticglazeforchickenwingsorpork.

MAKESABOUT2CUPS½poundfreshplums,pittedandroughlychopped6ouncesdriedapricots,roughlychopped

1cupapplejuice¼cupunseasonedricewinevinegar3tablespoonslightbrownsugar,packed

2teaspoonssoysauce1teaspoonfreshginger,grated¼teaspoonmustardpowder¼teaspooncrushedredpepper

1.Placeallingredientsinamediumsaucepanandbringtoaboilovermediumheat.

2.Reduce to a simmer and let cookuntil fruit is completely soft and sauce isthickened,approximately30minutes,stirringoccasionally.

3.Pureeuntilsmoothwithanimmersionblenderorinaregularblender.Serveimmediately,orputitinanairtightcontainer,whereyoucankeepitrefrigeratedforupto3weeks.

OHWAIT,THISONEISMY(BACON)JAM

MAKES2CUPS1⅔poundssmoked,curedbacon,diced1cupdicedwhiteonion

2tablespoonsdarkbrownsugar⅓cupcidervinegar⅓cupgradeBmaplesyrup

4clovesmincedgarlic½teaspoonchipotlepowder

1.Overmediumheat,cookthebaconinaDutchovenuntilthefatisrendered.

2.Addtheonionandcook5minutes,untilsoftandtranslucent.

3.Addtheremainingingredientsandsimmer,partiallycovered,untilthickandreduced.Blendtoachunkyconsistencyandservewithalmostanything.

BAVARIANSWEETMUSTARD

ThismustardfromsouthernGermanyhasn’tyetcaughtonasmuchas itsmore-popularBavarianbrothers—yet.Beatrailblazerandslatheryourbratswiththistospreadtheword.HA!SPREAD!Dadjokes!

MAKES2CUPS⅔cupyellowmustardseed⅓cupbrownmustardseed⅔cupdarkbrownsugar½cupwater½cupdarkGermanlager1cupcidervinegar

2tablespoonshoney½teaspoongroundcloves

1.Finelygrindyellowmustardinaspicegrinder,andthencoarselygrindbrownmustard.

2.Inasaucepan,dissolvesugarinwater,beer,andvinegar.Boilovermedium-highfor8minutestoreduce.

3. Remove from heat and mix in honey, cloves, and ground mustard. Pourmustardintoajarandrefrigeratefor1weekbeforeserving.

BAYRISCHKRAUTRECIPEBYDANIELSISTO

MAKESABOUT4CUPS¼poundbacon,cutintosmallcubes2sweetonions,sliced1apple,julienned½tablespooncuminseeds

1cuplightbrownsugar⅜cupapplecidervinegar1smallcabbage,coredandchopped

1cupchickenbroth½tablespoonhoney¼teaspoonsalt¼teaspoonpepper

1.Heatalargepanorpotovermediumheatandfrythebacon.

2.Addonionsandappleandcookinthegreasefor3minutes, thenaddcuminseeds.

3.Pourinthesugarandassoonit’scaramelized,addvinegar.

4.Letthevinegarreduceby50percentandaddthecabbage.

5.Addbroth¼cupatatimeovercabbage.Letreduce,thenaddanother¼cup.Repeatuntilthecabbageiscookedbutstillhassomebite.

6.Removefromheatandaddhoney,salt,andpepper.

BLUECHEESEALESAUCE

MAKESABOUT2½CUPS½cupcream½cupbeer½poundbluecheese1teaspoonWorcestershiresauce

1teaspoonarrowrootpowder

1. In a saucepan, bring cream and beer to a simmer.Mix in blue cheese andWorcestershiresauce.

2.While cheese is heating,mix arrowrootwith 1½ tablespoons of water in abowl.

3.Whencheeseisfullymelted,removefromheatandmixinarrowrootslurry.Stiruntilthickened.Pourintoasqueezebottleandkeepcolduntilyouneedit.

CHIMICHURRI

Argentinaknowsmeatandchimichurrigoes sodamnwellwith flank steak. It’salsoversatileasadippingsauceforempanadas,pastasauce,orinasalad.Butmostlymeat.Pouritoveryourmeat.

MAKESABOUT1½CUPS1cupcilantroleaves,tightlypacked½cupfreshflat-leafparsley1teaspoonshallot

5garliccloves½teaspoondriedoregano1redjalapeño,quartered

2tablespoonsredwinevinegar⅓cupextravirginoliveoil½teaspoonsalt

1. In a foodprocessor,mixcilantro,parsley, shallot,garlic,oregano, jalapeño,andredwinevinegarthenprocessuntilsmooth.Addoliveoilandsaltandpulseuntilwellblended.

GUASACACA

MAKES4CUPS2ripeavocados,chopped1smallredonion,chopped(about1cup)1mediumgreenpepper,chopped(about1cup)2cupschoppedsteamedcauliflower

2clovesgarlic½bunchcilantro½bunchcurlyparsley¼cupcidervinegar1teaspoonblackpepper

1tablespoonkoshersalt½cupoliveoil

1.Combinealltheingredientsexcepttheoliveoilinablenderorfoodprocessor.

2.Pulsetheingredientsuntilthey’rewellmixed,butstillchunky.

3.Slowlyaddtheoliveoilwhilepulsinguntilasmoothsaucestartstoform,thenstoreinabowlorglassjarandrefrigerateuntilit’stimetoserve.

HONEYSRIRACHAMAYO

MAKES½CUP⅓cupmayonnaise½teaspoonlimejuice3teaspoonsSriracha3teaspoonshoney

1.Whiskingredientstogetherinabowlandrefrigerateatleast30minutesbeforeserving.

ANCHOCHILEBBQSAUCE

MAKES3½CUPS2driedanchochiles,seeded,chopped1tablespoonoliveoil

1cupchoppedonions2garliccloves,minced1½cupschilisauce

1cupapplejuice⅓cupWorcestershiresauce¼cupapplecidervinegar1(8-ounce)cantomatosauce1teaspooncumin

1teaspoondrymustard¼teaspoonsalt⅔cupbrownsugar

1.Soaktheanchochilesinhotwaterfor30minutes.

2.Heat oil inmedium saucepanovermedium-highheat until hot.Addonionsandgarlic.Cookandstiruntilcrisp-tender,about3to4minutes.

3.Addallremainingingredients.Mixwell.Bringtoaboil.Reduceheattolow.Simmer1hour.Strainandserve.

HARISSARECIPEBYJASONGILMORE

HarissaistheunofficialnationalcondimentofTunisiaandisawell-knownflavorofnorthernAfrica.Thishotpepperpasteisusedforflavoringstews,meatrubs,andtolivenupvegetables.

MAKES2CUPS

2redbellpeppers5redjalapeñopeppers40driedarbolchiles8garliccloves1teaspooncoriander1teaspooncumin

1teaspooncarawayseeds½teaspoonsalt1lemon,juiced½cupextravirginoliveoil1.Roastthepeppersoveranopenfame.Placeinbowlandcovertocool.Whencooled,removeskinandseeds.

2. Deseed the arbol chiles and toast quickly in a pan until fragrant, about 1minute.

3. Soak the arbol chiles in hot water for about 20 minutes until they arerehydrated. Meanwhile, toast the spices in a dry pan until fragrant, about 3minutes.

4.Drain thearbol chiles andaddall the ingredients to a foodprocessor.Thenblenduntilsmooth.

HAWAIIANMILKBREAD

MAKES2LOAVES⅔cuproomtemperatureheavycream1cuproomtemperaturewholemilk,plus1tablespoon2eggs,roomtemperature,divided⅓cupsugar4cupsall-purposeflour

1tablespooncornstarch1package(¼oz)activedryyeast1½teaspoonssalt

2teaspoonspineapplejuice

1.Combinethecream,1cupofthemilk,1egg,sugar,flour,cornstarch,yeast,salt, and pineapple juice in the bowl of a stand mixer with a dough hookattachment.

2.Mixthedoughonlowspeedfor15minutes.

3.Turnoffthemixer,movethemixingbowltoawarmplace,andcoverwithadamp towel toproof for1hour. (If you’reusing this for theManapua,you’regood to go from here. If youwant tomake bread or rolls, by allmeans keepreading.)4.Returntothestandmixerandstirwithabreadhookfor5minutestoremoveanyairbubbles.

5.Cut thedough inhalfandplace in2buttered loafpans.Coverwithadampclothandletthemriseforanotherhour.


7.Makeaneggwashbymixingtheremainingeggandtablespoonofmilk,thenbrushoverthetopoftheloaves.

8.Bakeuntilgoldenbrown,20to25minutes.

HONEYBUTTER

MAKES1½CUPS

8ouncessaltedbutter,roomtemperature½cuphoney¼tablespooncayennepepper

1. Place thebutter into a smallmixingbowl.Whipwith a forkorhandmixerwhileaddingthehoneyandcayenne.

2.Whenall ingredientsare incorporated, spoon thebutterontoa sheetofwaxpaper. Roll the paper, forming the butter into a log, and tie off the ends.Refrigerateforatleast48hourstolettheflavorsmarry.

CUBANMOJOSAUCE

Thisclassicmarinade,pronounced“MOE-hoe,”isthesecretingredientfortheporkwelayerintoourCuban Sandwiches (page 28). Sour oranges are sadly unavailable most everywhere, so we’veaccountedforthat.Ifyou’reoneoftheluckyones,substitutetheorangeandlimejuicesfor⅔cupsourorangejuice.

MAKES1CUP12clovesgarlic,minced⅓cuporangejuice⅓cupoffreshlimejuice2tablespoonsgrape-seedoil2tablespoonsdriedMexicanoregano1tablespoonkoshersalt

1teaspoonblackpepper1.Mixeverythingtogetherinajar,seal,andshakefuriously,conpasión.Usetomarinadepork,chicken,andanythingelsethatneedsacitruskick.

HOPSBUTTER

Thisfour-ouncesliceofhopheavenistheresultofmany,manyfailures.Weattemptedvarioushop-flavoredpermutationsinadvanceofourfirstbookandwhiffedonallofthem.Atbest,theywereflatandone-note.Atworst,wedubbedthemAspirinWings.Butwe’vefinallykilledthisparticularwhitewhale, and there’s no heavily symbolic price for our single-minded obsession. Just delicious beer-butter.

Wetakeatechniquefrombeerbrewingtoextractflavorfromthehopsandmagicallyputitintobutter.Brewingrequiresaddinghopsatprecisetimestogivecertaincharacteristics.Typicallyaddinghops to wort and boiling for sixtyminutes adds bitterness to beer, thirtyminutes flavor, and tenminutesaroma.Sincewe’recookingwithhops,wewanttheflavor.Bewarned,thisrecipecallsforlowalphahops(Saaz),andtrustus,youwanttouselowalphahops.Youmaybea“hophead”andthinkyoucanhandlea10percentalphahopbutter,buthigh-alphawillruineverythingyouputitin.

MAKES4OUNCES½cupwater4ounces(1stick)unsaltedbutter3hopspellets(usealessthan5%alphahopvarietal)

1.Onthestove,combinewaterandbutterintosaucepanandbringtoaboil,thenlowerheattoheavysimmer.

2.Drop3hopspelletsintothewaterandsimmerfor30minutes.Forfuckssake,don’t put the entire 1 ounce package of hops into the boil. Maybe a littleperspective will help—1 ounce will flavor 5 gallons of beer; you’re making0.03125gallonsofbutter.

3.After30minutes, removefromstoveandcooluntilyoucanhandle it.Pourmixturethroughacheesecloth.It’srecommendedyoustrainthroughtwice.Placeinacontainerwithalidandputintotherefrigeratorovernight.

4.Thenextdaythebutterandwaterwillhaveseparated.Pokeasmallholeonthebutterlayerandpourthewaterout.Voila,youhavehopsbutter.

PICKLEDHOPSHOOTS

Youseefieldsofhopsinbeercommercials,usuallyfollowedbyabrewerrubbingtheirnoseinahugehopconepile.Bavarianfieldsfilledwiththevineconjuretheideathathopsarehardtogrow.Sure,ifyou’regoingtoharvestthemforlargebreweries,thenyes,theyneedtobespecialized,butbackyardhopsarealmosteffortlesstogrow.Theywillmakeyouandyouryardlookreallycoolandkeepyoucompanywhileyoudrinkbeeroutside.Wefirststartedwithhopsinthecityprimarilytocoverupanuglychainlinkfence.Itcostfourbucksanditlookedmanlierthansomepurplemorningglory.

Ifyou’reahomebrewerorbeerlover,thefirststepintomakingyouryardintoabeerhavenistobuythehoprhizome.Youcanbuyspecifichopvarieties,sopickyourfavoriteone.Ifyouplantousetheseforbrewingthenchoosealoweralphahopsinceyoucan’tactuallymeasurethealphaacidsandtheytendtobehigherthancommercialones.ArhizomecostslessthantenbucksandwillarriveinlateMarchforplanting.It’llbeafour-inchthingthatlookslikearootthatshouldbeplantedintheground,notapot.We’veneverseenhopsthrivepotted,plustheycomebackyearafteryear.Plantonceandbedonewithit.

Hopsareeasytogrow.Seriously,theycangrowoverafootadaysoyoubetterhaveaplan.Windthem throughachain link fence,have themclimbapergola,orhave themclimbarope.The firstyearyoucanexpectadecentsizeplantthatconsistsofafewshootsandgrowstotenfeet.Youcanharvestthehopsorwethopyourbeerthat’sinyourhandaroundSeptember.Ourtesttotellifhopsarereadytoharvestisiftheconesfalloffwhenyouflickthem.It’swisetocutyourplantallthewaydownattheendofthegrowingseason.

Theroot systembecomes largereveryyear so the secondyearyou’ll see shootscomingup inagreater radius around your initial rhizome.Wewould suggest trimming these back and have thestrongestpartofthehopplantgrow.Thisyeartheplantwilltakeoffandgrowuptotwentyfeetandfillout.You’llneedtospendtimepruningitandtrainingittogowhereyouwantittogrow.

After threeyearsofgrowth, theroot systemhasexpandedand therewillbepurple shoots inalarge radius aroundyou the first planting.They’ll look somewhat similar to thin asparagus. Sincefirstgrowthshouldbecutdown,itseemsawastenottousethem.Picklinghopsneveroccurredtousinpreviousyearsuntilafriendlyneighboraskedifweeveratehops.Withapuzzledlookwethoughtthe neighbor was referring to eating hop cones so we dug a little further. As a native of upperWisconsin,heinformedusthatpickledhopshootswereservedatmanybars.Thisbeingnewtous,wewereimmediatelyintriguedandstartedconceptualizingarecipefornextspring.ThebesttimetopickisinlateApril.

MAKESONE16OUNCEJAR

1hopcone½teaspoonwholecoriander1garlicclove

3juniperberries1bunchoffreshlycuthopshoots,leavesremovedandwashed1½cupschampagnevinegar½cupwater

1cupsugar1tablespoonnon-iodizedsalt(likeseasalt)

1. Place a sealed jar in a large pot and fill withwater to cover by a½ inch.Remove and dry the jar. Bring the water to a boil while you prepare yourpicklingliquid.

2.Addthehopcone,coriander,garlic,juniper,andhopshootstoajar.

3.Combinethevinegar,water,sugar,andsaltinasaucepanandbringtoaboil,stirring,untilthesaltandsugardissolve.

4.Removefromtheheatandpourtheliquidoverthehopshootstothefilllineinthejar,thentightlyscrewonthelid.

5.Carefullyplacetheclosedjarintotheboilingpotandprocessinawaterbathfor10minutes.Coolatroomtemperaturetosealthejar.Refrigeratefor3weeksbeforeopening.

PESTO

Worriedaboutwhatyou’regoingtodowithallthebasilinyouryardbeforethefirstfrostkillsit?Youcannevergowrongwithpesto,whichtastesgoodwithanypastaandfreezeslikeachamp.

MAKES2CUPS

3tablespoonstoastedpinenuts2cupsbasilleaves,packed

2clovesgarlic½cupoliveoil¼cupgratedParmesan½teaspoonkoshersalt

1.Mixeverythingexcepttheoliveoil inablenderorfoodprocessor.Ifyou’refeelingoldschool,mashitupinamortarandpestleandlearnwhatit’sliketotrulyhateingredients.

2.Transfertoaglasscontainer,drizzlewithalayerofoliveoiloverthesurface,then place a square of plastic wrap over the top before covering. Freeze anyunusedpestoafter2weeks.

PEARCHUTNEY

Chutneyisoneofthoserarecondimentsthatyoucaneatbyitselfwithaspoonwithoutlookinglikeapsycho.Thisisaprettyclassicculinaryschoolversionofchutney,soyoucansubinequalamountsofyourfavoritefruittomakethecondimentofyourdreams.

MAKES4CUPS1tablespoonvegetableoil1tablespoongratedginger

1tablespoongarammasala3jalapeño,diced½cupwhitevinegar¼cupapplecidervinegar,divided¼cupsugar3poundsripepears,dicedSalt,totaste

1.Heatthevegetableoilinalargesaucepanovermediumheat.Addtheginger,masala,andjalapeñosandcookoneminute,untilfragrant.

2.Addthevinegarsandthesugar.Heat,stirring,untilthesugardissolves.

3.Addthepears.Bringtoaboil,reduceheattoasimmer,andcook30minutes,untiltheliquidthickens.

4.Seasontotastewithsaltandcidervinegar.

PICKLEDMUSTARDSEEDS

MAKES2CUPS1cupyellowmustardseed

1cupwater½cupsugar2tablespoonssalt

1cupchampagnevinegar1.Coveryourmustardseedswithhotwaterinalargesaucepan.Boilthem,rinsethemwithafinemeshstrainer,returntothepot,andrepeattheprocess4moretimes.Thishelpsremovethenaturalbitternessofmustardseed.Removeseedstoacleanglassgarwithatight-fittinglidwhenthey’refinished.

2. Mix the water, sugar, salt, and vinegar in a saucepan and bring to a boil,stirringtodissolvesaltandsugar.Removefromheat,pourovermustardseeds,andcover.They’regoodtogonow,andtheylastweeks.

PICKLEDPINEAPPLERELISHRECIPEBYKENHAYNES

MAKES2CUPS1½cupsricevinegar

1teaspooncupsugar1jalapeño,slicedintorings½tablespoonkoshersaltJuiceoftwolimes

1freshpineapple¼cuproughlychoppedcilantro1.Placethevinegar,sugar,jalapeño,saltandlimejuiceinasmallsaucepot.Bringtoasimmerandstiruntilthesugariscompletelydissolved.Removefromtheheatandletcooltoroomtemperature.

2.Dividethepineappleinhalfandsliceonehalfintorings.Dicetheotherhalfandreturntothefridgeinasealedcontainerforlater.

3. Place the pineapple rings and cilantro into a large jar and pour the vinegarmixtureover,makingsureallthefruitiscovered.

4.Sealandrefrigerateforatleastoneday.

5. Remove pineapple slices from the jar and dice both the pickled and freshpineapplethencombine.

PORTERBEERMUSTARDRECIPEBYJASONGILMORE

6ouncesporter

1cupyellowmustardseeds½cupricewinevinegar½tablespoonkoshersalt½teaspoonfreshgroundpepper⅛teaspoongroundcinnamon⅛teaspoongroundcloves⅛teaspoongroundnutmeg⅛teaspoongroundallspice½teaspoonwhiskey

1.Combineallingredients,cover,andsoakovernight.

2.Afterthemustardseedshaveabsorbedmostoftheliquid,transfereverythingtoafoodprocessorandblendtodesiredconsistency.

RASELHANOUT

Arabic for“headof theshop,” this spiceblendcanbe foundasaspecialty inmanyNorthAfricanspiceshops.Thefragrantblendaddsbitterwarmthwithsweetfinishtodishesandworksgreatasamarinade,rub,ormixedwithbutter,yogurt,orsourcreamasatopping.

MAKES⅓CUP2teaspoonsgroundcumin2teaspoonsgroundginger2teaspoonsgroundnutmeg2teaspoonsgroundcoriander

2teaspoonsturmeric1½teaspoonscinnamon1½teaspoonssmokedpaprika1½teaspoonscardamompowder1teaspoongroundblackpepper

1teaspooncayennepepper½teaspoongroundallspice½teaspoongroundcloves¼teaspoongroundmace

1.Mixallingredientstogether.Storeinanairtightjar.

ROASTEDPEARANDPINEAPPLESALSARECIPEBYDAVEHANLEY

1cuppineapple,diced

3clovesgarlic2greenAnjoupears,diced⅓cupsilvertequila

3tablespoonslightbrownsugar½whiteonion,diced1cupcilantro,chopped1redpepper,diced½teaspoonsalt

Juiceof3limes1.Preheatovento350°F.

2. In a roasting pan, add pineapple, garlic, and pears, coat with tequila andbrownsugar,coverandroast15minutes tillsoftandslightlybrowned.Duringthelast5minutesofcooking,removecovertoreducejuices.

3. After pineapple and pears have cooled,mix in a bowlwith the rest of theingredients.

DILLTZATZIKI

MAKES2½TO3CUPS1cucumber,peeledandgrated2teaspoonskoshersalt,plusmoretotaste

8ouncesGreekyogurt3clovesgarlic,chopped1½tablespoonsfreshdill,chopped1teaspoonlemonjuice,plusmoretotaste

1.Tossthegratedcucumberwiththesaltandplaceinacolanderoverasinkorabowl.

2.Weighdownthecucumberwithaheavyplateorwater-filledbowl.Letsit30minutestodrain.

3.Removethebowlandsqueezeanyremainingwaterout.

4. Place the cucumber in a food processor or blender, along with the yogurt,garlic,dill,andlemonjuice.Processuntilsmooth.

5.Tasteforseasoningandadjustwithsaltand/oradditionallemonjuice.

GRILLEDFRUITANDSWEETCORNSALSA

MAKES3CUPS2earssweetcorn,husked,kernelsremoved

2tablespoonsoliveoil¼cantaloupe,peeled,seeded,andsliced¼honeydewmelon,peeled,seeded,andsliced1largeredbellpepper,finelychopped1smallredonion,finelychopped

Juiceof2lemons2tablespoonsfreshmint,chopped2tablespoonsfreshcilantro,chopped¼teaspoonkoshersalt

1.Preheattheovento350°F.

2. Toss the corn kernelswith olive oil to coat and spread evenly on a bakingsheet.Placethesheetoncenterrackoftheovenandcook10to15minutesuntilkernelsbegintobrown,thenremovefromheatandallowtocool.

3.Setupgrillfordirectmedium-highheat.Placetheslicesoffruitonthegrillandcookfor30secondsperside,thenremovefromheat.

4.Dice the fruit into¼-inchpieces,place inabowlwithallother ingredients,tosstocombine,cover,andrefrigerate.

NEWMEXICOGREENCHILESAUCERECIPEBYADAMPALMER

Green chiles are toNewMexicans aswine is to Italians—they gowith everything.NewMexico isknown for a lot of great things including the skiing andart inSantaFe, theNative culture of thepueblos,andthemethcookingofAlbuquerque,buttheprideofNewMexicowillalwaysbetheHatchGreenChile.A littleknown fact—theHatchChile is actuallya fruit,but is cookedandeatenasavegetable. Traditionally, green chile sauces were simple, with no more than two ingredients.However,everyonehas theirownwayofcreatingthisbeautifuldish.Pleasenote:It ismeant tobechunky,notblended.

MAKES1½CUPS

7ouncesgreenchile¼cupvegetableoil¼whiteonion,diced⅛cupchickenbroth

1. If usingwhole chiles, place in aluminum foil and on the grill over indirectheatfor10minutestoroast.

2.Onceroasted,de-stemanddeseedgreenchilesbeforedicing.

3.Overmediumheat,addoiltoanon-stickpan.

4.Addtheoniontohotoilandletsimmerfor2minutes.

5.Adddicedchilestopanandletreduce.Ifusingcannedchiles(Idon’tknowwhyyouwould),drainbeforeadding.

6.Stirconstantlysothechilesdon’tburn.

7.Oncereduced,addchickenbroth,coverpanandletreducefor2minutes.

8.Addpinchofsaltandstir.

9.Turnoffburnerandletcoolfor5minutes.

10.Addtoblenderandpulsetwice,makingsureyoudon’tpureeit.

NEWMEXICOREDCHILISAUCERECIPEBYADAMPALMER

It’s like theGreenChileSauce,butred. Ifyou’re looking for lessheat, remove the seeds fromthechilepods.

MAKES1½CUPS12NewMexicoredchilepods½tablespooncumin1tablespoonflour

1tablespoonmincedgarlicSalt,totaste

1. Roast the chiles using your broiler, a heavy skillet, or by laying the chilesdirectlyoveryourstoveburners,untilcharred.

2.Removethestemsfromthechiles.Retainorremovetheseedsdependingonyourtoleranceforheat.Placeinaheatproofbowl.

3.Boil a kettle or pot ofwater and pour over chiles.Cover and let sit for 20minutes.

4.Takethechilesoutofthebowlandremoveskinswhencoolenoughtohandle.

5.Placethechilesintoablenderorfoodprocessorwithcumin,flour,garlic,andsalt,andpureeuntilsmooth.

6.Tasteforseasoningandstoreinaglassjar.

BBQRUB

MAKESABOUT¾CUP¼cupbrownsugar2tablespoonskoshersalt1tablespoonanchochilipowder2teaspoonsblackpepper

1teaspoonsage¾teaspoononionpowder½teaspooncayennepowder½teaspoonsweetpaprika½teaspoonmustardpowder¼teaspoongarlicpowder¼teaspooncelerysalt

1.Mixallingredientstogether.

REDGRAVY

Marinara,tomatosauce,gravy.It’sallthesamething,andthenameyoucallittypicallydependsonwhat the main characters in your favorite Italian-American piece of pop culture refer to it as.Everyonethinkstheirsistime-honedandthebest,butwe’vefoundthattherealsecretisjusttakingthe time towatch and simmer it. It’s also easy to double or triple the batch and store in tightly-coveredglassjarsforaquickdinnerorlunchoption.Youcanuseitforpasta,TheSouthSidersteaksandwich (page98), or todip calamariorother frieddelights.CannedSanMarzano tomatoesaregreatforthisifyouwanttobuytheslightlymoreexpensivekind.

MAKESABOUT3CUPS28ouncecanwholepeeledtomatoeswithjuices

5tablespoonsunsaltedbutter1whiteonion,peeledandcutinhalfthroughtheroot1teaspoonsalt,plusmoretoseason2clovesgarlic,peeledandhalved

3largefreshbasilleaves

1.Makesureyourhandsarecleanandcrushthetomatoesdirectlyintoapotorsaucepan. Dump in any extra juices from the can, then add the remainingingredients.Stirtocombine.

2.Heatsauceovermediumheatuntilitbeginstoboil,thenreducetheheatsoitcooksataslow,lazysimmer.

3. Simmer that fucker for 45 minutes, stirring frequently. Chat with guestsduringthistime.Tellthemnevertoaskaboutyourbusiness.

4.Discardtheonionandblendtoasmoothtexture.Checkseasoningandaddsaltifnecessary.

VODKASAUCERECIPESBYCATHYBRANDT

ThisisarecipefromafriendofManBQuewhogrewupintherestaurantindustry.Throughdecadesof dining preferences, years of excellent and shitty customers, and the changing palate of theAmericandiner, this simplerecipehasremainedasteadfast favorite. It’s therichestofallpossiblesauces,andforthatweloveit.

MAKES2CUPS8tablespoons(½cup)unsaltedbutter¾cup(6ounces)tomatopaste1tablespooncrushedredpepper

1teaspoonkoshersalt½teaspoonblackpepper1cupheavycream3ouncesvodka

1cupfreshlygratedParmesan1. Melt the butter over medium-low heat and add tomoto paste. Add the redpepper,salt,pepper,andcream.Stirtocombineandsimmerfor5minutes.

2.AddthevodkaandParmesan.Bringtoasimmerandcookfor20minutes.

3. Remove from heat, stir, and serve immediately. The sauce won’t hold, soconsumeallofitnow—anentireloafofgarlicbreadworksreallywell.Batheintherich,butteryjoyofthesauceandknowthatyouaretrulyliving.

TEQUILALIMECREMA

MAKES1½CUPS1cupMexicancremaorsourcream3tablespoonssilvertequilaJuiceof2limes

2tablespoonswholemilk1clovegarlic,minced¼teaspoongroundcumin

3tablespoonschoppedcilantro½jalapeño,seededandminced¼teaspoonsalt

1.Mixallingredientsusingafoodprocessororblenderuntilsmooth.Storeinanairtightcontainerandrefrigerateovernight.

SUPPERCLUBBEERCHEESERECIPEBYJAYMEADKINS-IRONSIDE

InthedelicateMiddleAmericanecosystemofthings,cheesetreatsfromWisconsinarewaydifferentthancheese treats fromKentucky. It’spartofwhatmakes thiscountrysogreat,andourbonessostrong. This particular expression of the dairy art form is rooted in the closest thing thatunincorporatedWisconsintownshavetowhitetableclothplaces.Supperclubsarebelovedofnativesandvacationersalike,servingtheusualprimerib,GreatLakeswhitefish,andloadsofdomesticbeer.Thepub cheese that this recipe comes from is the first item to arrive at the table of all reputableclubs.It’susuallyservedonatraywithcelery,carrots,summersausage,andcrackers.Twoofthosethings usually remain untouched. It’s got amore airy, spreadable texture than theKentucky barcheeses,andamilderbutteryflavor.Thatmaybebecauseofthebutter,butthescientistshaven’tyetconfirmed.

MAKES16OUNCESOFPUBCHEESE8ouncessharpcheddar,grated8ouncesmildcheddar,grated

4ouncesbrownale2tablespoonsbutter,atroomtemperatureSriracha,totasteRitzy-asscrackers,toserveSlicedsummersausage,toserveHotsauce,toserve

1.Addthecheeses,ale,butter,andSrirachatothebowlofablenderormixer.Use that setting you’ve always been afraid of and let it run until you have aperfectlyblendedlakehouseappetizer.

2. Serve immediately for the best textural results. If you store and serve later,takeitoutofthefridge30minutessobeforetoletcometoroomtemperature.

HowDoIPairBeerandFood?

Nothing complements a greatmeal theway that awell-picked beer does.Theinterplayoftheflavorsinthefoodandthebeercancombinetotakeyourmealtothenextlevel.Understandingthecomponentsandstylesofbeerwillensureyoualwaysexperiencethejoysofaperfectlypairedcombination.

There are dozens and dozens of beer styles—classifications that brewers,authors, and drinkers use to understand what’s in the glass in front of them.These styles are rooted in the brewing traditions of Germany, England, andBelgium. But they are also living, breathing guidelines that are evolving inresponsetotheeverrestlessAmericancraftbrewerswhoareconstantlypushingtheenvelopeofflavorsandtheparametersofthebeerstheybrew.

Everyone has their favorite styles of beer—from a traditional Bohemianpilsner to an American wheat ale to the malty wee heavy to the ubiquitousAmerican hopbomb of a double IPA. Each of these and the dozens of otherstyleshasaplaceatthetableandcanworkwithmanyofyourfavoritefoodsifyouunderstandsomeofthestylebasicsandpairingprinciples.

1.Intensity.Theintensityandcomplexityofadishshouldbematchedbythatof

thebeer.

2.Flavor.Theflavorcomponentsof thebeershouldcomplementandplayoffthoseofthemeal.

3.Tradition.Heed thecenturiesofculturalwisdomthathasgrownuparoundregionalcuisineandbrewingtraditions.

4. Creativity. Don’t be beholden to any of these rules . . . your palate andpreferencesandthoseofyourguestsareallcomplexandeverchanging...playtothem.

Finally, don’t be overwhelmed! The world of beer is complex andconvolutedbutultimatelyawonderfulfriendlyplace.Seekhelpfromyourlocalbrewer,thebeerbuyeratyourlocalcraftbeerstore,thebartenderatyourlocalwateringhole,andeventhatbeernerdfriendyouhave.Allshouldbehappytofieldquestionsonstyleandfoodpairing.

UnderstandingtheFlavorsofBeerBeerbeginsitslifewhenthebrewercombineswater,grain,andhopsundertheinfluenceofheattomakeasweetliquidcalledwort.Thewortisthencooledanda carefully chosen yeast strain is pitched into the wort to begin its job offermentation.Theendresultisthebeverageweknowasbeer.Itisasurprisinglycomplex drink of low to moderate alcohol containing hundreds of flavor andaroma compounds that delight our senses. Each of the component ingredientsprovidetheirownuniqueflavorsthathelptopairtheresultingbeerwithawiderangeoffoods.

MatchingIntensityWhenwesitdown toameal there isoftenaprogressionofdishes . . . fromasimple salad toa temptingappetizer through to themaincourseandendingatdessert.Eachitemonthemenuhasacertainintensityofflavorandingredientsthat we can recognize as light and enticing or rich and fulfilling. Your beerpairingsshouldmatchthislevelofintensity.

Intensityinbeercomesfromavarietyofsourcesincludingstrength,hoppinglevels,carbonation,amountof residual sweetness,andevencolor.Allof thesefactors combine in a single beer and we can perceive this intensity when weimbibe.Anyone that has had amacro lager knows its intensity ismuch lowerthan a German pils. Going up on the intensity scale from there we arrive atsaisonsandEnglishpalealeswithmediumintensity.Finally,at the topendofthespectrum,wehavethedoubleIPAandhugebarrelagedstouts,bothofwhichpacktheirownuniqueandpleasantwallopstothepalate.

TheFlavorsofMaltThe basis of the brewer’s recipe ismalted grain,most often barley or wheat.Malt primarily contributes fermentable sugars to the wort that the yeast willconvert into alcohol. Secondarily though, the malt provides nonfermentablesugarsandawidearrayofflavorcompounds.Thebrewercarefullyselectsandcombines malts which range in flavor from bready and toasty to caramelly,toffeelike,andnutty,allthewaythroughtochocolateyandroasty.YoucantastetheresultsineverythingfromabreadyGermanlagertoaroastyIrishstout.

TheFlavorsofHopsHops have a dual use in brewing. First, they provide bitter alpha acids to thewortwhichbalancethestickysweetnessderivedfromthemaltsugars.Second,theyprovidethebeerwithflavorandaromacompoundsthroughtheiressentialoils. The brewer carefully considers how much bitterness to impart to thefinishedbeeraswellastheflavorprofilesofthehopsbeingused.

Hops come in hundreds of varieties which can add spicy, herbal, floral,citrusy,piney,orevenfruitynotes.Brewersarechasingnewhopvarietieseveryyear,continuallyincreasingtheflavorprofilesavailableinbeer.

Yeast-DerivedFlavorsYeastisthelivingorganismthatistheworkhorseattheheartofthebeer-makingprocess. In the process of converting sugars to alcohol, yeast also generateshundredsofbyproducts.

These lend unique flavors and aromas to beer including notes of spices,pepper,banana,clove,andfruitiness.Whilemanybeersarefiltered,somestylesretaintheyeastinthebottle,whichaddsevenmorecomplexitytotheflavorofthebeer.

AdditionalFlavorSourcesThe ingredients mentioned so far meet the Reinheitsgebot, a sixtenth centurybrewingpuritylaw.Manyotherbrewingtraditionsuseadditionalingredientstoimpart flavor according to the brewer’s vision. Traditional Belgian brewersroutinely brew with spices, citrus peel, and cherries or other fruit. ModernAmerican craft brewers also push the envelope by adding just about any foodingredient you can think of—frompumpkin to juniper to PB&J to beef heart.Some of these can create sublime pairings with food, such as a Belgian wit(brewed with coriander and Curacao orange peel) with steamed mussels. Butcertainly someof theweirder flavorsmay be too obtuse tomarrywellwith adishyou’vecreated,sobejudicious.

Many beers are also aged in wooden barrels which have previously agedalcoholicspirits.Mostcommonlythesearebourbonbarrels,butcanalsobefromwine,rum,gin,andsoon,eachimpartinguniqueflavorstothebeer.Beersoftenpickuphintsofvanilla,tobacco,oak,andofcoursetheunderlyingspirit.

Some beer styles like lambic, geuze, Flemish ales, gose, Berliner weisse,Americanwild ales, andmore are brewedwith additional yeasts and bacteriathat can add an amazing array complexity including tartness, sourness, andfunkiness.Thesebeersoftenhaveahighlevelofaciditywhichcanhelpcleansefattyfoodsfromtheeater’spalate.

Thealcoholinyourbeeralsoaffectsitsflavorperceptionandpairingability.Anyonewhohasevertakenashotofhardliquorknowsjusthowpotentalcoholcan be on the palate and down the pipes. Beers high in alcohol content, likeRussianimperialstoutsandbarleywinescanhaveincreasedalcoholheat.

Finally,thecarbonationinbeerhelpstoliftfattyandoilyfoodresiduesfromthe tongueand refresh thepalateso thatyouwant togoback foranotherbite.This isagreatadvantage thatbeerhasat thedinner table thatotherbeveragesoftenlack.

FRENCHPRESSEDBEER

Thiswillprobablymakethefaceofeverycraftbrewercringe,butwe’vebeeninfusingbeerusingaFrenchpress.Restaurantsandbreweriesusecustomequipment to infuse flavors,butwhohas thatkindofsetup?Thetriedandtruecoffeeinfusedbeerisagreatstartingplacetobeginexperimenting.

3tablespoonshighqualitycoffee,coarselyground

12ouncesstoutbeer

1.SpooncoffeeintothebottomoftheFrenchPress.

2.Pourbeerovercoffeeandput the toponto theFrenchpress.Press the filterdowntojustbelowtotopofthebeer.

3.Steepfor5minutes,pourintoglassandenjoy.

Gettheidea?Nowdosomethingcrazy.Jalapeños!

SUMMERRADLER

Stiegl brought the radler to the beer aficionados; Leinenkugel brought the shandy to the massmarket.WepreferredtomakeourradlerswithHackerPschorrandItaliansoda.

MAKES2DRINKS16ouncesGermanwheatbeer

8ouncesItaliansoda

1.Pourbeerintoaglass(whichyoushouldbedoinganyway).

2.Pay.Close.Attention.

3.Poursodaintothesameglassasthebeer.Commencedaydrinking.

SAISONGINFIZZRECIPEBYCHRISTINAPEROZZIMAKES2DRINKS

2eggwhites

3ouncesPlymouthGin½ouncesimplesyrup1ouncelemonjuiceSplashofcream

12ouncesBelgianfarmhouseale

1.Placetheeggwhites,gin,simplesyrup,andlemonjuiceinacocktailshakerandshakeitfor1minute.

2.Addtheiceandcreamtoshakerandshakelikeyoumeanituntilyougettired.

3.Doublestrain(i.e.pourthroughacocktailstrainerandateastrainer)intotwococktailglassesandtopwiththefarmhouseale.

WEISSENSOUR

It’sacompactcocktailthatpacksapunch.Whiskey.Beer.Besuretoplaysomerockandrollwhendrinkingthis.

MAKES2DRINKS

4ouncesbourbon½ouncesimplesyrup1½ouncesfreshlemonjuice6dashesoforangebitters2tablespoonsorangemarmalade

8ouncesWeissbierorWitbier1.Inashaker,mixbourbon,syrup,lemonjuice,bitters,andmarmaladeandstirtobreakupmarmalade.Pourinbeer,addice,thenshake,strain,andserveinabelltasterbeerglass.

CRAFT-AND-TAN

Youdon’tneedtouseIrishbeertomakeablackandtan.Infact,owingtothebrutalBritishpoliceauxiliaryofthesamename,youprobablyshouldn’tusethatnamearoundIrishanything.Butwe’reusingAmericancraftbeersanyway.AnimperialstoutandIPAlayeredontopofoneanother,infact,tastesahellofalotbetterthantheyeoldeversion,withnoneoftheLoyalistbaggagecomingalongfortheride.

Ifyou’reintoblackIPAs,thisisthedrinkforyou.Thismaybeoneoftherecipeswhereyouneedacoupletries tomaster,eventhoughitonlyhastwoingredients.Pourtoohardandmixthemandyou’ll stop,drinkyour failure, and startover.You’ll getbetterat it,but it’sup toyouhowmuchfailure-beeryoudrinkinthequest.

6ouncesImperialStout

6ouncesIPA

1.Pourthestoutintotheglass,allowingtheheadtoform.

2.Placeaspoonbacksideupoverthestout,thenslowlypourtheIPAoverthebackofthespoon,soitrunsdownthesideoftheglass.Ifyoudoitcorrectly,thestout will stay on the bottom and the IPA on top. If not, fuck it and drink itanywaybecauseittastesgreat.

FANCYGUINNESS

Here’sanothervariation,thistimeontheclassicBlackVelvet.Wejustloveournamemore.

MAKES4FANCY-PANTSDRINKS16ouncesstout

16ouncesChampagne

1.Pour4ouncesofstoutintoeachoffourchampagneflutes,allowingtheheadtofoamandsubside.

2.Carefullypourthechampagneoverthebackofaspoonrestedagainstthesideoftheglass,sothechampagnerunsdownthesidesandstaysatopthestout.

3.Waituntilsomeonesayssomethingespeciallygaucheorshocking,thendropyourmonoclein.DrinkandhaveyourmanservantCarlsworthbringyouanother.Andathird,even!

THUGPASSION

Lastyear,wefoundathingwereallylike(seasonalsummeraleandorangejuiceforbreakfast)withanamewereallydidn’t(BeerMosa).Itsoundeddiminutive,cutesy,andweak.Sowerenameditusingthetoughest-yet-softestnamewecanthinkof.Can’ttakeyourselftooseriouslywhenyou’reorange-juicingyourbeerat8:30onaSundaymorning.

Thereareplentyofhibiscus-relatedchoicesonthebeerstoreshelvesduringthesummer,butfeelfreetosubstituteyourchoiceofseasonalcraftaleorlager.

MAKES2DRINKS24ounceshibiscusale

8ouncesfreshorangejuice

1.Filltwopintglasseswith12ouncesofaleand4ouncesofjuice.

There’sAlsoWine,YouKnow...

Butwhatifyourguestsaren’tallbeerdrinkers?Noworries.Manyofourfriendsdrinkwine, and twoofus areCatholic, sowecanofferyou somemeasureofguidanceonthisparticulartopic.Herearethe(very)basics,andsomerecipestoplayaroundwith.

Ifyou’dlikemoreinformationonwine,yourlocallibrariancanpointyoutoroughlyninemillionstaggeringlylengthyexaminationsonthesubject.

AndNowWeBoozeWe’vealsogot some tasty cocktails, noneofwhichhave that accursed “makeone at a time, fourminutes at a time” preparation that our nation’s finest and

fartiestcocktailloungesholdsodear.Grabapitcher,getthemismatchedfreebieglasses,andlet’sgetDRANKIN.

“NO,THEHAYRIDEWILLBEFUNTHISYEAR”MULLEDCIDER

We drink during fall to deal with the impending doom of winter. It’s a Midwestern thing. Andnothing delivers the warm fuzzies like a bubbling pot of cider chockablock with an irresponsibleamount of spiced rum.This is how you convince someone that sitting on sharphay andbouncingaround a pockmarked moonscape of a field in the 40 degree air is a beloved seasonal tradition.Thanks,alcohol!Inaddition,thisrecipeisgreattoleaveoverlowheatonthestoveinabigpotwithaladletotheside.Yourhousewillsmellgreat,whichisafairtradeoffconsideringyourovenwillneverbecleanagainaftertwohoursofguestsdrizzlingapple,sugar,andrumneartheburner.

Useaqualityciderforthis,spendacoupleextrabucks—that’sthelinebetween“oh,howquaint”and“ohmy—she’susingapplejuicetogetdrunklikearailyardhobo.”Obviouslyyoucanadjusttherumcontentinthis,butdon’tdrive.Infact,throwyourkeysdownawell.

MAKES2QUARTSOFCIDER

Zestof1orange1wholenutmeg,crushed,divided3cinnamonsticks10allspiceberries15cloves1staranise

1cardamompod½gallonapplecider

8ouncesdarkrum

1.Spreadtheorangezestoutonasheetofparchmentpaperandallowtodryintheovenoverapilotlightovernight.Ifyou’reanythinglikeus,you’llforgetthisandjustthrowtheorangezestinanyway.Atleastwebothtried.

2.Crushthewholespices,pickingouthalfofthenutmegandreservingforlateruse.Slide it all intoacheeseclothbagor spice sachet.Alternately, justhavea

strainerforpeopletopourtheirdrinksthrough.

3.PlacethespicebaginalargepotorDutchoven.Coveritwiththeciderandheatovermediumuntil the liquid justbeings tosteam.Thencoverandreducetheheat to lowuntilyou’re ready toserve.At thatpoint, stir in theboozeanddishitout.

SINTERKLAUSVODKADRANK

You’ve almostmade it through the year.What lies between you and anew tomorrow is one finalgauntletoffamilyandin-laws.ThisishowtheSwedishdealwiththat.

You’llnotice there’s100millilitersgonefromthebottleofvodkawecall for.We’resureyou’llfiguresomethingout.

MAKES15COCKTAILS2tablespoonturbinadosugar2sticksCeyloncinnamon10cloves10cardamomseeds

650mlvodka3inch×¼inchstriporangezestGingeraleandremainingorangezest,toserve1.Placethesugar,cinnamon,cloves,andcardamominthevodkabottleandshakeit.Shakeitrealgood.Yes,likethat.

2.NONOTLIKETHATYOU’LLRUINEVERYTHING.

3.No,justkidding.Keepshaking.

4. Forget about it in the fridge for at least two days, or up to a week. It’llprobablykeepuntilnextChristmas.It’salcohol,afterall.

5.Adaybeforeyou’reinthemoodforholiday-themedvodka,throwthezestinthebottle,shake,andreturntothefridge.

6.Servethevodkaata1:1½ratiowithsomegoodgingeraleandgarnishwithorange zest.Or just drink it straight and eatwith rye bread and sardines. ThewinterdarknessofScandinaviacandooddthingstoaperson’spreferences.

RIOTPUNCH

Thisisouronce-a-yearChristmasPartyconcoction.ItputstheRAGEinbeverage.Justmakeoneofthesepitchersforyourparty,becauseevenonedropaboveapitcherisgoingtoturnyourhomeintoaRoadHousescene.

750mlHpnotiqliqueur750mlchampagne

50mllimoncello1lime,cutintowedges

1.Mix the liquor,champagne,and limoncello.Serveover icewithawedgeoflime.Watchthefuckout.Thingsareabouttogetserious.

TELENOVELAHOTCHOCOLATE

2cupsmilkand/orwater

3cinnamonsticks¼cupsemi-sweetchocolate

1teaspoonvanillaextract4tablespoonsalmondmealorfinelygroundalmonds½teaspoonarbolchile,finelyground4tablespoonssugar,ortotaste

Groundcinnamon,togarnish

1.Inasaucepan,addthemilk,1cinnamonstick,andtherestoftheingredients.Bringtoasimmerovermediumheat.

2.Removefromheatandwhipwithawhiskuntilyougetafrothyhead.

3.Serveintwomugs,sprinklecinnamonoverfrothandaddcinnamonsticktoeachdrinkforgarnish.

Aswe’vepackedinthefoodresearching,cookingfor,andwritingthisbook,wecame to realize that some of our best street food memories come with asoundtrackbuiltin.That’sthefunoffoodasasocialexperience—you’llneverhearHueyLewisandtheNewsatathree-starMichelinplace.Andthat,friends,is a damn shame. So here, for your playlist-ing pleasure, is our perfectsoundtrackforthisbook.

Wealmostcalled thischapter“WhistleWhileYouEat”beforewerealizedthat’sthemostdisgustingpossiblethingyoucando.Sokicksomejams.KICKTHEM.

HungoveratWaffleHouseonacoolfallSundaymorning(oristhehangoveragiven?).“RustyCage”—JohnnyCash

Buyingiceandbeer. . .andmaybeweneedmoreice. . .andsomechips. . .andpopsforthenon-drinkers.Whattimearepeoplecomingoveragain?“Dennehy”—Serengeti

Drunk at karaoke, needing the ultimate 80s jam to be recognized as theperformancegodyouare.Tequilacourage!“RomancingtheStone”—EddyGrant

SweatingyourassoffinthemiddleofJulyonaparkdistrictfield.Ifyourshittypitchercangetonemoreout,youcangrabaHighLife in thedugout.Softballseasonisthebest.“Slip Slide”—Donnie Trumpet & the Social Experiment

Getting invited to a boat party and demolishing the plate of fancymeats andcheesessolo.“PortableRadio”—Hall&Oates

Trackingdownsomething,anything,otherthanachainrestaurantwhilevisitingastrangecity.Also,ithastohaveabar.“OutsideInside”—TheStreets

Fryinganabsoluteshitloadofchicken.

“WholeBunchofChicken”—Snakes

Waitinginlineattheall-nighttaqueria.“Jealous(IAin’tWitIt)”—Chromeo

Convincing yourself that a scorpion pepper hot wing challenge is not onlydoable,butagoodidea.“Psalm82”—CannibalOx

Theneighbor’skidswereloudlastnight,sothestereo’sgettingaworkoutthismorning.“TurnDownforWhat”—DJSnakeandLilJon

Taking two bags of bottles to the recycling bin after one hell of a Saturdaycookout.“LoveJones”—JDilla

Upat6:00a.m.togetinlineforTexasbrisket.“18WheelsofLove”—Drive-ByTruckers

Gettingacounterseatatyourfavoritehotdogstand.“GloryDays”—JustJack

Thatmomentat thecookoutwhen thesongchangesoverandsomeoneasks ifthisisyoursongandyoumeanttoplayit.Ownit,man.Doubledown.“PopIt”—Anamanaguchi

Riding with four people in a back seat of a car in Nashville hitting up hotchickenjointsanddivebars.“WagonWheel”—OldCrowMedicineShow

Walkingslightlyhungoverandinneedoftwomorehoursofsleeptogettamalesfromtheladywhosellstheminthegasstationparkinglot.“IfIHadAHeart”—FeverRay

Ribfest.Anyribfest.“IWanttoConquertheWorld”—BadReligion

Stoppingatatruckstopwhiletravelingaloneatnight.“LiveOak”—JasonIsbell

StandinginlineattheMaxwellStreetPolishsausagestandafterattendingabeerfestival.“Blood-Red,White&Blue”—RiseAgainst

Walking through a farmers’market on a hot summer day and discovering anamazingstand.“Fitzpleasure”—alt-J

Walkingintoabarwhilewearingawhiteblazer.“RobotRock”—DaftPunk

Visitingahogroastinyourhometownaftermovingtothecity.“ACountryBoyCanSurvive”—HankWilliams,Jr.

Runningaftertheelotelady’scartafterhearinghergohonkingdownthestreet.Youknow,theonewiththeumbrellaontop.“WaitingRoom”—Fugazi

Hitting up a childhood friend’s cookout who has teenage kids and is usinglighterfluidtofireupthegrillbutstillsomehowseemshappy.“StressedOut”—TwentyOnePilots

Eatingsplit-roastedlambinadesert.“BurnAfterWriting”—TheMenzingers

Buyingadonerfromafoodtruckanddiscoveringthatithasredcabbageonitbydepositingsomeonyourshirt.“StartWearingPurple”—GogolBordello

EatingfishtacosonthebeachafteralongnightofdrinkinginCalifornia.“CaliforniaStars”—Wilco&BIllyBragg

Leaving the Chicago city limits, ripping on a loud Harley Davidson headednorth.

“YouAreATourist”—DeathCabforCutie

Landingbackhomeattheairportafterweeksoftraveling,eatingtoomuchanddrinkingtoomuch.“Landed”—BenFolds

Walking up to your place as the sun is coming up, thinking about the just-concludedeveningout;yourhandssmellinglikeonionsfromtheMaxwellStreetPolish,mustard stainsonyour jeans, andone last lagerbelchdedicated tooldfriendsandnewpals.“AllMyFriends”—LCDSoundsystem

Taking down that umpteenth bowl of poutine inMontreal without breaking ameatsweat.“WorkingMan”—Rush

Writingrecipesatthelocalcoffeeshop,mean-muggingthepassersbylikeathugwholikesicedhalfdecafcoconutmilklattes.“NotoriousThugs”—TheNotoriousB.I.G.

Tryingtodrivethroughrushhourtraffictopickupthelastfewingredients.“Feel Good Hits of the Summer”—Queens of the Stone Age

PolishingoffabottleofMalortwithabeautifulladyafteralmostgettingblownupbyneighborhoodfireworks.Theperfectmoment,really.“NoOne’sGonnaLoveYou”—BandofHorses

Beinghundredsofmilesawayfromhomeandnotbeingable togetheroutofmymind.“Sleepwalk”—Santo&Johnny

DrinkingMaker’sMarkontherocks,aloneinsomedarkwood-paneleddivebarwiththelingeringsmellofcigarettesfromyearspast.“YourLoveandHisBlood”—WayneHancock

Grabbing some street food in Manhattan and walking across the BrooklynBridgeonabreezysummernight.

“NYC”—Interpol

DrivingbacktoChicagoafteralongweekendofhotchicken,MalortandgoodbeerinNashville.“Slowness”—Calexico

Wakingupandgettingreadyforalongdayofgrillingandtattoos.“14,000 Things To Feel Happy About”—Troubled Hubble

HavingbeersatBillyGoatTavernona lateSaturdaynightwith thedie-hards,journalists,anddrunks.Someareallthree!“BigCity”—OperationIvy

Winningahotdogchampionship.Again.“LittleGreenBag”—GeorgeBakerSelection

Trying to figure out a recipe that seems to not be working as planned. Thebastard.“LongDivision”—Fugazi

Driving around Rochester, NY contemplating life and taking down someleftoversquirrelpotpie.“ChasingHeatherCrazy”—GuidedByVoices

WatchingasummertimeconcertinConeyIslandwithafootlongcorndoginonehandandashittybeerintheother,peoplezippingbyscreamingontheCyclone.“Strange”—BuilttoSpill

Driving through the redwoods and almost driving off a cliff while spillingdeliciouscoffeealloveryourlap.“Kind/Brutal”—Heligoats

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

JohnCarruthers

It’s really amazing to have had another project like this with a group ofincredibly talented cooks and wonderful, kind people. None of that happenswithoutmybeautiful,supportivewifeEmily,whoisahellofacookherselfandthebestpersonI’veeverknown.Thankyouforteachingmetoslowdown,takeabreath,andworryless.Also,for teachingmeaboutCubanfood—Istillhave23yearsofeatingtocatchupon,butI’mtryingmybest.

Putting together a ManBQue book, or an event, or just our regularMEATings,takesalotoftimeandeffortfrompeoplewhowearen’tpaying.Itastoundsmeeverymonthhowmanyguysandgirlswanttohelpout,spreadthemeat/beer/rock n’ roll gospel, and be part ofwhatwe’re doing. LukeGelmannever stopsaskingmewhenwecanwork throughanewrecipe in thekitchentogether,andhisresultsarealwaysincredible.AdamPalmermightbethenicestpersonon theplanet, andmightbe theonlyperson I’veneverheardcomplainabout . . .well, anything.Naturally,we’ll try our best to crush his spiritwithasinine requests. Dave Koob is always ready to help, and is also the humananswertothequestion“Whatifyoujustmadepizzasnonstopforanhouronthegrill?Howmanywouldthatbe?”JasonGilmore,despitebeingamorequalifiedcook than any of us, is always happy towork on our latest poorly-conceivedscheme and make it sixty percent more delicious. Tom Brooks gave us hissharpeningskills,andevenmanagedtoturnmydullfinger-shredderbladesintoefficientGermancuttingtoolsagain.CarlosSalgadohelpeduswithsomehugecatering jobs, and turningout190platesofGermangamedishes inabowlingalleyremainsmaybethehighlightofmyentirecookinglife.

It’snotjustthem,either.Anyonewhocomestoourevent,tellstheirfriendsaboutManBQue, invites us into their bar or restaurant, and spreads our pork-flavoredmessage is just as responsible for this happening a second time. I’mtrulygratefultoeverysingleperson.It’sbizarrewhenyougettoshillyourmeatbook or event on the same channels you grew upwatching. It’s nice to havemedia friends around town, andwe can’t imaginebetter ones than JamesVanOsdol, Marcus Leshock, Corey McPherrin, Matt Knutson, Elliot Bambrough,ValWarner,RyanChiaverini,JiSukYi,andAndrewHuff.

Alotofprofessionalsalsoletmeintotheirkitchenstolearnthingsfor thisbook, and I had evenmore fun than I imagined possible. JenniferMonti andJames Gottwald, Gus Paschalis, and Joe Plonka are all great, generousrestaurateurs,andIhopeI’llbehittinguptheirplacesfordecadestocome.

Onceagain,shootingtherecipesforthisbookmeantputtingonaminiaturemeat summer camp with Josh McDonnell, Clayton Hauck, Dave Rentauskas(NEWGUYDAVE!),BradDanner,LizKlafeta,andCollenDurkin.Wecookedalot of food, ate a lot of meat, and generally shit-talked each other until wesuddenlyhadthisgorgeousseriesofshotsonourhands.Weareassurprisedasanyonethatourfoodcouldcomeoutlookinglikethis,whichIhopegivesyouanideaofthetalentthatClaytonandthegroupbroughttotheproject.Everynight,whenwefinishedshooting,wesatdownforbeersandsomelovablyhorridlocalliquortorelaxandenjoyhowbizarreitisthatwe’reluckyenoughtodothis.Bigthanks as well to Kain Knowles and Red Gate Brewing for hosting anotherphenomenalshootparty.Sorryifyourhousestillsmellslikemeat(notsorry).

Speakingof,thankyoutoJeppson’sMalort,whoisnotasponsorofoursoratallaffiliatedwithus,forproducingaliquorsodistinctiveandfoulthatmakingout-of-townerfirst-timerstryithasbecomeasgrandacivictraditionascatchinga ballgame at Wrigley, standing under the Bean, or hostile toward petition-gatherers.

ThankstoZacharyLeibmanfromRunningPressforsupervisingthiscircusandtoDoeCooverforkickingitoffinthefirstplace.Youarebothconsummateprofessionalswhoprobablydeservebetter-behavedclients.

MomandDad,thanksagainforputtingupwiththeworld’spickiesteaterforthefirst18years.I’mmakingupforlosttime.Maggie,Sarah,andSam,Ihopetwooutofthethreeofyouwillcontinueeatingmeat.Andifnot,we’llalwayshavebeer.TotheCoodes,Brandts,Carruthers,Sabos,Orizondos,andeveryoneelseImaybetooforgetfultomention—everythingdecentaboutmecamefromyou.Everythingelseyoucanblameontheschoolsorvideogames.

Tomyoldfriends—SteveandMeghanSettles,TreyandMelaniePick,SarahGuderyahn,andSteveRobertson—thanksforstickingaround.You’reallgreat.

JohnandJesse,I’msogladwe’vemanagedtokeepthisgoingforthislong.Here’s to another barbecue, another beer, and the two best cooks I’ve everworkedbeside.

JohnScholl

Firstthankyoutomywife,Alana,andtwokids,SophieandHolden,forwithoutyoursupportandexpertsamplingskillsIwouldn’thavebeenabletowritethisbook. Funny thing about testing recipes with your children is that they’rebrutallyhonest.Either it’sawesomeor itsucks.Sophie’s favoritedishwas theBridgeportbreadedsteak,andHoldenlovedeverythingthathadmeat.Meaninghelovedmosteverythingin thisbookbecauseit’saManBQuebookforgod’ssake.

While I’m the firstoneof the family togetacookbookpublished, I’mnotthe first towrite one.Mymomcurates a family cookbook that expands everyyear.Thankyoutomymomwhoinstilledinmethatthekitchenwastheheartofthehouse.Throughgoodtimesandhard,wealwayssatdowntoeatdinner(orasshecallsit“supper”)at5:30eachnight.Tomysiblings,Kelly,Jay,Heather,andCinnamonwholivenedup theconversationsaroundthe table. It’sbeenfar toolongsincewe’veallhadamealtogether.

TheOttofamily(Pat,Mary,Ryan,Ben,Jason)whowelcomedmeintotheirhome and taught me that hard work and creating something with your handsresults in great pride. From working on engines, sanding car body panels, tomorelmushroomhunting,theexperienceshavemademewhatIamtoday.Iamforevergrateful.

WehavethiswonderfulphotographerwhoshootsmostofourMEATings.Itwas after an event onenightwhen she toldme that shewasgoing toquit hercorporate grind job and become a nanny. It just happened thatmywife and Iwereabouttobecomeparents.Since2011,AubreyBoonstrahasbeenapartofmyfamily,allbecauseofManBQue.

AbeTaha,oneofmyfavoritebosses,whoshowedmethatfreshingredientsandqualityalwayswins.Plus,hetrainedmehowtomakedamngoodpizzas.

My college professor, CatherineMintler, who served as a writing mentorthroughoutmy time at school and is now someonewho I can always bounceideas off of although our conversations are more beer-focused than writing-focusedthesedays.

Wereceivedgreat recipesfrommembersandfriendsaround theworld. I’dlike to personally thank PatrickMcBride, JasonGilmore, Daniel Sisto, AdamHotzapfel, Joe Rake,Matt Khunen, Dave Hanley, Brandon Frohne, andMattDanko forworkingwith us to develop some amazing recipes.Huge thanks to

KevinLilly andDavidDahl fromLoRezBrewing for their contributions, butalsoforhelpingmebecomeabetterbrewer.

TotheManBQuemembers,thisthingwestartedonJesse’srooftopin2006wouldnotbewhat it iswithoutyou.KeepbringingtheunconventionalrecipesandrarebeerstotheMEATings.

Finally,toJohnandJessewhoinvitedmetobepartofthisbook,crazyhowlifeledustogetherforthis.Tothat:ManBQue!

JesseValenciana

Myfamily,Alicia,Erika,Adrian,Daniela,GrandmaAna,&Gus,youhavebeenthebestsupportsystemIcouldeveraskfor.Thankyouforalwaysbelievinginmeandmycrazy ideas.Keepbeing theamazinghumanbeings thatyouare. Ilove youmore than I could ever put into words. Gus, I wish you could readbecauseyou’rethebestandcutestdogever.

Toallofmyfriendsand family that I thanked in the firstbook; thankyouagainfor lettingmebeapartofyour lives,youmakemewhoIamandIwillcontinuekickingassbecauseofyou.Specialthanksto:MarkFajardo,you’reagoddamn American hero and I’m proud to call you my friend. SamanthaHermansen, I love thehelloutofyou.Thankyou foralwaysbeingagoofballand laughingwithme.PetePallasch, Imissyouand Iknowyou’llhavesomeobscuremusic forme to listen towhenwemeet again.SarahParkington,youandyour loud-ass laugharemyfavoritesuper fans.BenClauss, thankyouforalwaysbeingdowntocookwithme,alwaystheretolendahelpinghand,andforfinallybeingmyfriendonFacebook—itonly took10years.AubreyBoonstra,you’re thebest, thankyouforgiving theworlda look insideManBQue.DougSohn, thank you for being a food mentor, friend, and the best pizza chef inChicago.ChaseWeikelandMeganKlempa,thankyouforalloftheVanslove.(Can we make some ManBQue shoes?) Chris Otepka, Steve Mitchell, ErinBurks, TomWojcik, JonReens, SpencerWalling,Magoo,KevinKane, JasonGilmore,youguysfuckinrule!RickyValenciana,thankyouandyourfamilyforallthelove.

Thank you to all of these great families: Valenciana, Rezendez, Slonina,Linus,Wetherell,Rubeo,Boucher,Janowski,Scholl,Gelman,Cuevas,Alvarez,Millers,Romero,Wagner,Waggoner,andHefferan.

Thank you Doe Coover & Zac Leibman. I questioned your sanity whenwanting todealwithus for the first book, now I’m just goingwith it andnotaskingquestions.

INDEX

AAll-DayMacMuffinwich,16

applesCastIronAppleCrumble,48’MericaEmpanadas,82America’sFavoriteVegetable(frenchfries),89AnchoChileBBQSauce,286Arancini,61Arepas,15

avocadosFriedAvocadoTacos,97Guacamole,263Guasacaca,285WalkingTacos,249

B

baconBaconButty,18Bacon(JustRegular-AssBacon),175BaconLimeFriedRice,123BaconS’mores,135BaconSnickerSnackBars,253CandiedBacon,177Chicken-FriedBacon,100

ChipotlePorkSliders,21ManBQueMelt,23OhWait,ThisOneIsMy(Bacon)Jam,282TennesseeBreakfastSausage,17Bacon(JustRegular-AssBacon),175BaconButty,18BaconLimeFriedRice,123BaconS’mores,135BaconSnickerSnackBars,253BalikEkmek,136Bao(SteamedBuns),245BarTamales,227BaltimorePitBeef,137BavarianSweetMustard,282BayrischKraut,283BBQRub,298

beefBaltimorePitBeef,137BeefEnds,144BeefJerky,145BeefonWeck,186groundFurnitureStoreMeatballsandSwedenSauce,57JamesDean,13HatchChiliBurgers,34ManBQueMelt,23ObatzdaBurger,35SteamedHams(burgers),27WalkingTacos,249HowtoCookActual,No-BullshitKobeorWagyuBeef,133ImperialShortribs,251ItalianBeef,202steakCornishPasty,181EndlessQuesadillas,42HangerSteakandKimchiBurrito,2DutchOvenKoreanBBQBeefTacos,246PhillyCheesesteak,38RopaVieja,205SesameSteakManapua,183SouthSider,98Voltron:TheSandwich,168

BeefEnds,144BeefJerky,145BeefonWeck,186

BelgianBeerMussels,219

beveragesCraft-and-Tan,309FancyGuinness,309FrenchPressedBeer,307“No,theHayrideWillBeFunThisYear”MulledCider,313pairingbeerwithfood,304RiotPunch,315SaisonGinFizz,308SinterklausVodkadrank,314SummerRadler,307TelenovelaHotChocolate,315ThugPassion,310WeissenSour,308wine,typesandcolors,312understandingtheflavorsofbeer,304–6BigKahunaPorkBellyBurgers,189

bisonTatankos,54UltimateMeatballSub,50BlackBeans,222BlueCheeseAleSauce,284BoudinBalls,68Bourbon,Banana,andNutellaPaletas,261BraisedPorkBellyBanhMiSandwicheswithNuocMau,224BraisedSauerkraut,211BratsforAll!154

BreadsandBiscuitsBao(SteamedBuns),245Cheese-RichOceanInletBiscuits,180HawaiianMilkBread,287NativeAmericanFryBread,99SouthernCornbread,210BreakfastTacos,33BresaolaWholePeeledTomatoPizza,197BritishChips,91BroadShoulderWings,101

BuffaloCauliflowerDip,47BuffaloChickenSausage,141burgers.SeesandwichesButcher’sHotLinks,148

CCajunRemoulade,279CalienteChocolateSauce,277CandiedBacon,177CastIronAppleCrumble,48cauldron,aboutthe,218

cauliflowerBuffaloCauliflowerDip,47Guasacaca,285Cheese-RichOceanInletBiscuits,180cheesesauce,41ChesapeakeBlueCrabs,220

chickenBroadShoulderWings,101BuffaloChickenSausage,141ChickenEmpanadas,80ChickenSatay,138ChickenTikkaKebabs,139ChicagoMeetsBuffaloWings,103ChinatownWings,155EloteWings,147FriedChicken,85GermanDöner,151HaHaHaHaHaYouLoseIdiotsWings,169Huli-HuliChicken,160IpaWings,94IzakayaChickenPieces,149KoreanHotChickenWingswithPeanutsandScallions,104NashvilleHotChicken,86StripMallPadThai,129TandooriChickenWings,153Wing-Bak:ChickenWarrior,142ChickenEmpanadas,80

Chicken-FriedBacon,100ChickenSatay,138ChickenTikkaKebabs,139ChicagoMeetsBuffaloWings,103Chicago-StyleHotDog,232ChinatownWings,155ChipotleCocteldeCamarones,262ChipotlePorkSliders,21CilantroChimichurri,284Columbian,the,239condiments.Seesauces,condiments,andtoppings

cornEloteWings,147GrilledFruitandSweetCornSalsa,296OffseasonElotes,56SweetcornDip,213CornishPasty,181Craft-and-Tan,309CrescentCityRegretDog,236CubanMojoMarinade,288Cubano,28CubanRoastPork,178CurlyFries,91CurrySauce,92CurryWeisswurst,156

Ddeepfryer,about,60DepressionDog,233

dessertsBaconS’mores,135BaconSnickerSnackBars,253Bourbon,Banana,andNutellaPaletas,261CastIronAppleCrumble,48’MericaEmpanadas,82ThemeParkChurros,69Triple-PeachFriedPies,88VanillaCajeta,277

DetroitConeyDogs,235DillTzatziki,295DinerSauce,278dipsandsalsas.SeealsosaucesBuffaloCauliflowerDip,47GrilledFruitandSweetCornSalsa,296Guacamole,263Guasacaca,285RoastedPearandPineappleSalsa,295SweetcornDip,213DiveBarPickledEggs,244Doritomales,242DrunkGuyNachos!270DuckSauce,280DutchOvenKoreanBBQBeefTacos,246

E

eggsDiveBarPickledEggs,244ScotchEggs,65EloteWings,147EmeraldCityDog,237EmpanadaDough,76

EmpanadasChickenEmpanadas,80EmpanadaDough,76HawaiianEmpanada,81’MericaEmpanadas,82SeafoodEmpanada,77SweetPotatoEmpanadas,83EndlessQuesadillas,42EurozoneWaffles,49

FFancyGuinness,309FarmhousePizzaDough,193FastFoodFries,91

FigandPigSandwich,162

fishandseafoodBalikEkmek,136BelgianBeerMussels,219ChesapeakeBlueCrabs,220ChipotleCocteldeCamarones,262GreatLakesFishFry(FancyVersion),118GrilledFishTacos,171HarissaButterGrilledOysters,163Octopuswich!207OysterPo’Boy,62Plow&HagFishandChips,74RedSauceCalamari,73SeafoodEmpanada,77SmokedSalmonandBaconPoppers,106Swordfish&ScallopMangoCevicheTostadas,266Takoyaki,55frankfurters.SeehotdogsFrenchfries,89FrenchPressedBeer,307FriedAvocadoTacos,97FriedCheeseCurds,113FriedChicken,85FriedGiardiniera,73FriedGreenTomatoes,111FriedPickles,112FriedRavioli,84FriedShallots,274fries,89–91FryLikeaScotsman(frybatter),110FurnitureStoreMeatballsandSwedenSauce,57

GGarlicAioli,92GermanDöner,151GreatLakesFishFry(FancyVersion),118griddle,tipsforbuying,12GrilledDuckPestoPizza,196GrilledFruitandSweetCornSalsa,296GrilledFishTacos,171groundmeat.Seebeef;bison;porkGuacamole,263

Guasacaca,285

HHaHaHaHaHaYouLoseIdiotsWings,169

hamHawaiianEmpanada,81RedeyeCountryBiscuit,19RoomServiceMedianoche,30HangerSteakandKimchiBurrito,26HangoverBagelwich,31Harissa,286HarissaButterGrilledOysters,163HarissaLambLollipopswithMintedYogurtSauce,157HatchChiliBurgers,34HawaiianEmpanada,81HawaiianMilkBread,287HoneyButter,288HoneySrirachaMayo,285HongShaoRou,125HopsButter,289HotDogGyoza!127hotdogs,228Chicago-StyleHotDog,232Columbian,the,239cookingyour,229CrescentCityRegretDog,236DepressionDog,233DetroitConeyDogs,235EmeraldCityDog,237HotDogGyoza!127IcelandicDog,238ImpostorBagelDog,233LeCornDog,95ManhattanStreetMeatDogs,234Moloka’i,the,240NorwayFranskdog,237Rio,the,239Huli-HuliChicken,160

I

IcelandicDog,238ImperialShortribs,251ImpostorBagelDog,233IpaWings,94IslandPeanutSauce,279ItalianBeef,202IzakayaChickenPieces,149

JJalapeño-InfusedRibs,212JalapeñoPopperPizza,200JamesDean,The,13

KKatsuPork,93KatsuSauce,274knivesandstones,256KoreanBBQSauce,246KoreanHotChickenWingswithPeanutsandScallions,104KungPork,143

L

lambHarissaLambLollipopswithMintedYogurtSauce,157MoroccanLambMiniBurgerswithHarissaYogurtandFreshMint,20WhiteTableclothBBQChips(andLamb!),116LeCornDog,95LeftoverFries,91LineCookChicharrones,109

MManBQueMelt,23ManhattanStreetMeatDogs,234Mayoketchup,92MB(B)QSauce,273

’MericaEmpanadas,82MexicanTruffleQuesadillas,43Moloka’i,the,240MoroccanLambMiniBurgerswithHarissaYogurtandFreshMint,20

NNashvilleHotChicken,86NativeAmericanFryBread,99NewMexicoGreenChileSauce,297NewMexicoRedChileSauce,29899LuftbalonsCurrySauce,278No.4½BroccoliSub,191“No,theHayrideWillBeFunThisYear”MulledCider,313NorwayFranskdog,237

OObatzdaBurger,35

octopusOctopuswich!207Takoyaki,55OffseasonElotes,56OhWait,ThisOneIsMy(Bacon)Jam,282oil,smoketemperatures,60oven,aboutthe,174OysterPo’Boy,62

P–Qpansandpots,46PearChutney,292PearandGorgonzolaPizza,201Pesto,292PhillyCheesesteak,38PhillyRoastPorkGrinder,208PickledHopsShoots,290PickledMustardSeeds,293PickledPineappleRelish,293Pigwich,269PimentoCheese,271

PineappleBoats,161PineappleBourbonSauce,279

pizzaBresaolaWholePeeledTomatoPizza,197FarmhousePizzaDough,193GrilledDuckPestoPizza,196PearandGorgonzolaPizza,201ProsciuttoandFigPizzawithArugula,199JalapeñoPopperPizza,200

plantainsSweetPlantains,53Tostones,71Plow&HagFishandChips,74pork.Seealsoham;sausageArepas,15BigKahunaPorkBellyBurgers,189BoudinBalls,68BraisedPorkBellyBanhMiSandwicheswithNuocMau,224Butcher’sHotLinks,148ChipotlePorkSliders,21Cubano,28CubanRoastPork,178CurryWeisswurst,156FigandPigSandwich,162FurnitureStoreMeatballsandSwedenSauce,57HongShaoRou,125Jalapeño-InfusedRibs,212KatsuPork,93KungPork,143LineCookChicharrones,109PhillyRoastPorkGrinder,208PorkBellyGyoza,126PorterBeerMustard,294SausageRolls,209Scotcheggs,65SmokedPorchetta,164TaylorStreetPorkChopSandwich,24TennesseeBreakfastSausage,17YucatanPork,185PorkBellyGyoza,126PotatoChips,114

potatoesAmerica’sFavoriteVegetable(frenchfries),89–91FurnitureStoreMeatballsandSwedenSauce,57Plow&HagFishandChips,74PotatoChips,114WhiteTableclothBBQChips(andLamb!),116Pretty-Damn-CloseMuffulettaSandwich,260ProsciuttoandFigPizzawithArugula,199

RRasElHanout,294RedeyeCountryBiscuit,19RedGravy,299RedSauceCalamari,73

riceArancini,61BaconLimeFriedRice,123BoudinBalls,68Rio,the,239RiotPunch,315RoastedPearandPineappleSalsa,295RoomServiceMedianoche,30RopaVieja,205Runzas,214

SSaisonGinFizz,308SamuraiSauce,92

sandwichesandburgersAllDayMacMuffinich,16BaconButty,18BalikEkmek,136

BeefonWeck,186BigKahunaPorkBellyBurgers,189BraisedPorkBellyBanhMiSandwicheswithNuocMau,224ChipotlePorkSliders,21Cubano,28FigandPigSandwich,162HangoverBagelwich,31HatchChiliBurgers,34JamesDean,13ManBQueMelt,23MoroccanLambMiniBurgerswithHarissaYogurtandFreshMint,20No.4½BroccoliSub,191ObatzdaBurger,35Octopuswich!207OysterPo’Boy,62PhillyCheesesteak,38PhillyRoastPorkGrinder,208Pigwich,269Pretty-Damn-CloseMuffulettaSandwich,260RedeyeCountryBiscuit,19RoomServiceMedianoche,30RopaViejaSandwich,206Smørrebrød,265SouthSider,98SteamedHams(burgers),27TaylorStreetPorkChopSandwich,24Tramezzino,268UltimateMeatballSub,50Voltron:TheSandwich,168WenceslasSquareSandwich,107SauceAndalouse,92sauces,condiments,andtoppingsAnchoChileBBQSauce,286BavarianSweetMustard,282BlueCheeseAleSauce,284CajunRemoulade,279CalienteChocolateSauce,277cheesesauce,41CilantroChimichurri,284CurrySauce,92DillTzatziki,295DinerSauce,278DuckSauce,280GarlicAioli,92Harissa,286HoneyButter,288HoneySrirachaMayo,285HopsButter,289IslandPeanutSauce,279KatsuSauce,274

KoreanBBQSauce,246Mayoketchup,92MB(B)QSauce,273NewMexicoGreenChileSauce,297NewMexicoRedChileSauce,29899LuftbalonsCurrySauce,278OhWait,ThisOneIsMy(Bacon)Jam,282PearChutney,292Pesto,292PickledPineappleRelish,293PineappleBourbonSauce,279PorterBeerMustard,294SamuraiSauce,92SauceAndalouse,92TartarSauce,92TequilaLimeCrema,300UKBrownSauce,276VodkaSauce,300

sausageAllDayMacMuffinich,16BratsforAll!154BreakfastTacos,33JamesDean,13SausageRolls,209Scotcheggs,65TennesseeBreakfastSausage,17Utopenci(or:VfwBarSausage),241SausageRolls,209Scotcheggs,65seafood.SeefishandseafoodSeafoodEmpanada,77SesameSteakManapua,183Sicilian-StyleStuffedArtichokes,223SinterklausVodkadrank,314SmokedPorchetta,164SmokedSalmonandBaconPoppers,106Smørrebrød,265“soundtrack”forthisbook,317–19SouthernCornbread,210SouthSider,98SpamMusubi,37SpicyPickledWatermelon,275steak.SeebeefSteamedHams(burgers),27StripMallPadThai,129

SummerRadler,307Super16-BitGiardiniera,281SupperClubBeerCheese,301SweetPlantains,53SweetPotatoEmpanadas,83SweetPotatoFries,91Swordfish&ScallopMangoCevicheTostadas,266

T

tacosBreakfastTacos,33DutchOvenKoreanBBQBeefTacos,246FriedAvocadoTacos,97GrilledFishTacos,171Tatankos,54WalkingTacos,249Takoyaki,55TandooriChickenWings,153TartarSauce,92Tatankos,54TaylorStreetPorkChopSandwich,24TelenovelaHotChocolate,315TennesseeBreakfastSausage,17TequilaLimeCrema,300ThemeParkChurros,69ThugPassion,310toppings.Seesauces,condiments,andtoppingsTostones,71Tramezzino,268Triple-PeachFriedPies,88

UUKBrownSauce,276UltimateMeatballSub,50Utopenci(or:VfwBarSausage),241

VVanillaCajeta,277

vealCurryWeisswurst,156GermanDöner,151VodkaSauce,300Voltron:TheSandwich,168

W–XWaffleFries,91WalkingTacos,249WeissenSour,308WenceslasSquareSandwich,107WhiteTableclothBBQChips(andLamb!),116wine,typesandcolors,312Wing-Bak:ChickenWarrior,142wok,buyingtips,122

Y–ZYucatanPork,185

eat street : the manbque guide to making street food at home

Documents