editing the hard news story

8/10/2019 Editing the Hard News Story

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Formal charges of inefficiency are beingdrafted against board members of the

Lakeville Housing Authority after two of itsmembers refused to resign Friday.


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Editor: So were these charges brought bythe city? Its unclear from that lead

whose charges we are talking about.

Reporter: The city is drafting charges

right now. They are the citys charges.


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The city is drafting formal charges ofinefficiency against board members of

the Lakeville Housing Authority after twoof its members refused to resign Friday.


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Mayor Bill Modano and the citys attorneyprivately met with chairman WoodrowBelfore and vice chairman Joe Madden on

Friday afternoon urging them to gracefullyleave the authority. The agency is beingrocked by an FBI criminal investigation intothe possible misuse of funds and

management charges by the federalDepartment of Housing & UrbanDevelopment. It faces losing millions ofdollars in funding.


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Editor: I dont think we need gracefully.Its unclear to me whos doing the

investigation, the FBI or the city? Reporter: Well, you have two

investigations here. You have the FBIdoing the criminal investigation and thenyou have charges by HUD aboutmismanagement. There are two issues.


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Editor: Maybe it would be better tobreak that into two sentences to make it

clearer. I dont think we can call themmismanagement charges yet. Maybeit would be better to say, HUD is probingcharges of mismanagement


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Reporter: Probing? I dont know ifprobing is the right word.

Editor: Well probing is another word forinvestigating. Are they looking into thesecharges?

Reporter: No theyve finished with theinvestigation and have drawn theirconclusions

Editor: We need to make that clear


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Editor cuts the long paragraph into twoparagraphs


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Friday afternoon urging them to gracefullyleave the authority. The agency is beingrocked by an FBI criminal investigation intothe possible misuse of funds and

management charges by the federalDepartment of Housing & UrbanDevelopment. It faces losing millions ofdollars in funding.


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Friday afternoon urging them to gracefullyleave the authority.

The agency is being rocked by an FBIcriminal investigation into the possiblemisuse of funds. Also, the federal

Department of Housing & UrbanDevelopment has found mismanagementcharges and could cut off millions of dollarsin authority funding.


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Both Belfore and Madden, insisting theproblems can be fixed, told Modano no.

Im disappointed they want to drag itout, Modano said.

So now Modano said he will announce

charges against the board members atTuesdays commission meeting to startthe legal process of forcing them out.


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Editor: I wonder whether that quotemight be better following told Modano

no.


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Although city leaders arent accusingthe board members of wrongdoing,

they have said that a drastic shake-up ofthe authority is needed.


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Editor: They arent accusing boardmembers of wrongdoing, right?

Reporter: Well, no, not specific wrongdoing

Editor: Theyre accusing them of generalwrongdoing?

Reporter: No. City officials say that the

housing authority has a major problem.They want to shake them up. They arentsaying that individual board members havedone anything wrong.


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Editor: OK. I see. What if we say theyarent accusing the board members of

any specific act of wrongdoing? (Shechanges wrongdoing to specific acts ofwrongdoing.)


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They also said that the volunteer board isforgiving of Executive Director Ralph

Martin, who makes managementdecisions, and they hope a new boardwill replace him.


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Editor: forgiving?

Reporter: They wont challenge him.

The editor replaces is forgiving of withwont challenge. Then she adds theinformation the reporter has suggested

earlier: The terms of the three remainingauthority members expire in October.


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The last remaining authority member,Patricia Thomas, hasnt returned the

mayors telephone calls to even talkabout resigning. She has told Belfore shelikely will refuse to leave the board aswell. Thomas did not return a telephone

call for comment.


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Editor: Did you get this from Belfore or themayor or who?

Reporter: Belfore

The editor changes the sentence to

Belfore said she has told him that shelikely will refuse to leave the board aswell.

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