Effective Conflict Management

Vikrant Joshi

Understanding conflicts….. • A situation in which someone believes that

his or her own needs have been denied……

• The energy that builds up when individuals or groups of people pursue incompatible goals in their drive to meet their needs and interests……

• The goal of organizational leadership is not to eliminate conflict, but to use it.

Understanding conflicts…..

“Conflict itself is neither good nor bad… What matters about conflict, in the end, is how we respond to it”

Brian Muldoon, The Heart of Conflict

Conflict is a problem when it:1. Hampers productivity

2. Lowers morale

3. Causes more & continued conflicts

4. Causes inappropriate behaviors

Nothing is said yet but things don't feel right. Discomforts

Incidents

Misunderstandings

Tensions

Crisis

Motives and facts are often confused or misperceived

Relationships are weighed down by negative attitudes and fixed opinions

Behavior is affected, normal functioning becomes difficult, extreme gestures are contemplated or executed

A short, sharp exchange occurs without any lasting internal reaction

Levels of Conflict

Perception is EVERYTHING!

WE SEE THINGS AS WE ARE; NOT AS THEY ARE.

A battle ship commander was guiding his ship through the night. Seeing a light coming toward them he signaled for the other craft to stand aside. Back came a signal that not only refused to stand aside, but suggested they should be the ones to stand aside instead.

Greatly irritated he signaled back, telling his rank as a commander and demanded that the craft stand aside. Back came the reply, signaled by an ordinary seaman, that they must stand aside.

Affronted he signaled “This is a battleship, change your course!”

Back came the reply “This is a lighthouse, change your course!”  

PerceptionStory of the battleship commander

1. Perceptions are always incomplete to some extent, and perhaps even inaccurate.

2.1 + 1 = 3 …..there’s your viewpoint, my viewpoint,

and then there’s reality….

3. Own your perceptions – Don’t let them own you!

Perceived Reality

Conflict Management

The Heat - Video Cliphttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYYcvTrd7-A

TRUST!How can I trust you if you don’t allow me to be myself?

Trust people to be who they are Vs who we want them to be…..

Casey Stengel

It is easy to get the players on a team. Getting the team to play together is the hard part.

Circle of Influence

My Attitud

e

My Behavi

or

Your Attitud

e

Your Behavi

or

Circle of Concern

Circle of Influence

Betari Box Model

Speed of Trust

What is Your Speed of Trust ? http://

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qja9IVJkdoo

What is Conflict Management?

A principle that says all conflict cannot necessarily be resolved but learning how to manage conflicts can decrease the odds of non-productive escalation.

IssuePersonality

EmotionsInterests, Needs, and

DesiresSelf-Perceptions and Self-Esteem

Hidden Expectations

Unresolved Issues from the Past

How will you view conflict? Functional Vs Dysfunctional

“What would you like to see happen instead?”

“This issue presents us with a real challenge.”

“Your feedback helped me see ways that I could improve.

“We shot that idea down!”

“Your position is indefensible.”

“Thanks for dropping that bomb on me.”

Opportunity

War

The Balancing ActPreventing or resolving conflict involves two seemingly contradicting movements:

Supporting others by active listening

Asserting self by sending effective messages

Communication & ConflictSupportive Skills

1. Paraphrasing2. Openness3. Agreement stating

Assertive Skills1.I-Messages2.Preference stating3.Purpose stating

Competition Collaboration

Avoidance Accommodation

Compromise

COOPERATIVENESS

ASSE

RTIV

ENES

S

Blake & Mouton’s Conflict Grid

Avoidance

Low assertiveness & low cooperation……turtle

ASSE

RTIV

ENES

S

COOPERATIVENESS

AvoidLow

High

High• Individuals fail to address

the conflict. • Postponing a resolution

hinders group progress.

AccommodationLow assertiveness & high cooperation……the bear

ASSE

RTIV

ENES

S

COOPERATIVENESSLow

High

High• A strategy for resolving

immediate needs.

• Contains an element of self-sacrifice.

• Emphasizes common interests and deemphasizes differences in the group.

Accommodate

Competing

High assertiveness & low cooperation… the Shark

ASSE

RTIV

ENES

S

COOPERATIVENESSLow

High

High• A power-oriented

strategy.

• Competition should be based on whether winning the conflict is beneficial to individuals or the group.

Compete

CompromiseModerate assertiveness &moderate cooperation……the Fox

ASSE

RTIV

ENES

S

COOPERATIVENESSLow

High

High• A strategy for finding an

expedient solution.

• Compromise works towards partially satisfying both parties, but each party must honor the resolution for continued satisfaction.

Compromise

Collaboration

High assertiveness & high cooperation….the Owl

ASSE

RTIV

ENES

S

COOPERATIVENESSLow

High

High• A strategy that fully

satisfies both parties.

• The best decisions are made with collaboration, given the presence of trust, respect, and communication among group members.

Collaborate

Don’t let the conflict control you.

The conflict is not who you are !

Conclusion

Questions?