EFFECTIVEINTERPERSONAL ANDTEAM COMMUNICATIONSKILLS FOR ENGINEERS

IEEE Press445 Hoes Lane

Piscataway, NJ 08854

IEEE Press Editorial Board 2012John Anderson, Editor in Chief

Kenneth Moore, Director of IEEE Book and Information Services (BIS)

Ramesh AbhariGeorge W. ArnoldFlavio CanaveroDmitry Goldgof

Bernhard M. HaemmerliDavid JacobsonMary LanzerottiOm P. Malik

Saeid NahavandiTariq SamadGeorge Zobrist

EFFECTIVEINTERPERSONAL ANDTEAM COMMUNICATIONSKILLS FOR ENGINEERS

CLIFFORD A. WHITCOMB

LESLIE E. WHITCOMB

Copyright# 2013 by The Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers, Inc.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey. All rights reserved.

Published simultaneously in Canada.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form orby any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except aspermitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the priorwritten permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee tothe Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax(978) 750-4470, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should beaddressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permission.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts inpreparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy orcompleteness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties ofmerchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by salesrepresentatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitablefor your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher norauthor shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited tospecial, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

For general information on our other products and services or for technical support, please contact ourCustomer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317)572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002.

Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print maynot be available in electronic formats. For more information about Wiley products, visit our web site atwww.wiley.com.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Whitcomb, Clifford A., 1954-Effective communication principles for engineers / Clifford A. Whitcomb, Leslie E. Whitcomb.pages cm

ISBN 978-1-118-31709-9 (pbk.)1. Communication of technical information. 2. Soft skills. 3. Engineering. I. Whitcomb,Leslie E., 1959- II. Title.T10.5.W483 2013620.00104–dc23

2012027541

Printed in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

For Our Children

CONTENTS

PREFACE xiii

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS xxi

SECTION I LEARNING THE BASICS 1

1 LEARNING TO DRIVE YOUR COMMUNICATIONS 3

Communication Microskills Model / 4

Why are Microskills Important as a Basis for Communication inEngineering? / 4

How Do Microskills Work? / 6

How will I Learn the Microskills? / 7

What’s in it for Me? / 7

Why this Works / 7

The Importance of a Practice-Based Model / 8

2 WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE AN EFFECTIVEENGINEERING COMMUNICATOR? 11

Shared Basis of Engineering CommunicationExchanges Defined / 13

Space, Face, and Place Spectrum Defined / 15

vii

Contextual Integration of Shared Communication Spaces / 15

Check In / 16

3 YOUR NATURAL STYLE OF COMMUNICATION 17

What are the Strengths of Your Natural Style? / 17

Natural Style of Communication Defined / 18

Contextual Integration of Your Natural Style / 20

4 HOW SELF-UNDERSTANDING LEADS TODEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 23

Self-Understanding Microskills Defined / 25

Self-Awareness / 25

Self-Regulation / 25

Self-Motivation / 25

Empathy / 26

Social Attention and Focus / 26

Contextual Integration of Self-Understanding / 26

5 DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 29

Emotional Intelligence Defined / 31

Check In / 33

Contextual Integration of Emotional Intelligence / 34

6 AFFECT CHANGES YOUR COMMUNICATION 35

Affect Defined / 38

Affect Defined in Everyday Language / 39

Check In / 39

Contextual Integration of Affect / 40

7 AFFECT PROCESSING: THE HIDDEN KEY TO CLEARCOMMUNICATION 41

Internal Affect Processing Defined / 42

External Affect Processing Defined / 42

Balanced Affect Processing Defined / 43

Affect Processing in Overdriven, Disconnected, and Clear Ranges / 44

Overdriven Affect Response / 44

Overdriven Affect Processing Defined / 44

Overdriven Affect Processing Analogy / 44

viii CONTENTS

Overdriven Affect Processing Impacts on EngineeringCommunication / 45

Disconnected Affect Response / 45

Disconnected Affect Response Defined / 46

Disconnected Affect Processing Analogy / 46

Disconnected Affect Processing Impacts on EngineeringCommunications / 46

Clear Affective Response / 47

Clear Affective Response Defined / 47

Clear Affective Response Analogy / 47

Clear Affective Response Impacts on EngineeringCommunication / 48

Contextual Integration of Affect Processing / 49

SECTION II TAKING IT TOWORK 51

8 I, YOU, AND THE TEAM 53

“I” Statements Defined / 54

Check In / 55

Contextual Integration of “I” Statements / 55

Opaque “I” Statements: An Example / 56

Opaque “I” Statements Defined / 56

Contextual Integration of Opaque “I” Statements / 56

Misplaced “You” Statements: Examples / 57

Misplaced “You” Statements Defined / 57

Contextual Integration of Misplaced “you” Statements / 57

Misplaced Team Statements / 58

Misplaced “Team” Statements Defined / 58

Contextual Integration of Misplaced “Team” Statements / 58

You and We Complete the Exchange / 59

Appropriate “You” Statements Defined / 59

Good Communication: “We” Statements—Examples / 60

Appropriate “We” Statements Defined / 60

Check In / 61

CONTENTS ix

9 PAYING ATTENTIONWITH ATTENDING BEHAVIORS 63

Verbal Communication Defined / 65

Nonverbal Communication Defined / 66

Nonverbal Attending Behavior for the Speaker: Soler / 67

Nonverbal Attending Behavior for the Listener: Recap / 68

Check In / 69

Contextual Integration of Attending Behaviors / 71Check In / 72

10 SHAPE YOUR COMMUNICATIONS USING OPEN ANDCLOSED QUESTIONS 73

Open and Closed Questions Defined / 74

Check In / 75

Contextual Integration of Open and Closed Questions / 76

Check In / 77

11 MOVE INTO MULTIPLE DIMENSIONSWITHMULTIMODAL ATTENDING 79

Multimodal Attending Defined / 81

Sensory Processing Defined / 82

Affective Processing Defined / 82

Cognitive Processing Defined / 82

Check In / 83

Contextual Integration of Multimodal Attending / 84

SECTION III MAKING IT REAL 87

12 DEVELOP FLUENCYWITH ENCOURAGING,PARAPHRASING, AND SUMMARIZING 89

Encouraging Defined / 90

Paraphrasing Defined / 90

Summarizing Defined / 91

Encouragers to Use / 93

Nonverbal / 93

Verbal / 93

Paraphrasing Skills to Use / 93

x CONTENTS

Summarizing Skills to Use / 93

Adding Affect to Encouragers, Paraphrasing, and Summarizing / 94

13 CLOSE THE LOOPWITH REFLECTION OF FEELING 97

Reflection of Feeling in the Dialog between Lisa and Nestor / 98

What Happens when Feelings are not Reflected / 98

Tracking Reflection of Feeling / 99

Benefits of Tracking Reflection of Feeling / 99

Feedback Loops that Balance Feeling and Thinking: AccurateReflection of Feeling / 100

14 THE SIX-STEP CYCLE 105

Six-Step Cycle for Interpersonal and TechnicalCommunications / 107

Engineering Project Scenario Revisited / 109

Step One: Identify Context / 109

Step Two: Define the Problem / 109

Step Three: Define the Goals / 109

Step Four: Generate Alternates / 110

Step Five: Take Action / 111

Step Six: Iterate / 111

Check In / 112

SECTION IV TAKING THE LEAD 113

15 WORKINGWITH CONFRONTATION AND CONFLICTNEGOTIATION 115

Confrontation / 115

How to Clear Obstacles Using Conflict Negotiation / 121

Conflict Negotiation Rules / 124

16 BECOMING AN INTENTIONAL ENGINEER 135

BIBLIOGRAPHY 139

INDEX 141

CONTENTS xi

PREFACE

This book is about learning effective interpersonal and team communicationskills that are useful for engineers in the practice of their profession.Examples and exercises help you learn how to put together the basic unitsof effective engineering communication. Learning these basic units calledmicroskills of communication, to use in your practice of engineering givesyou options for handling issues that arise. Classic examples of these issuesinclude moments when you are stuck with a project task that presentsseemingly unresolvable technical issues or when you are stuck with ateammate who simply will not perform, or whose performance disruptsyour own. In the process of learning how to handle these situations you willbecome an effective engineering communicator and you will be a betterengineer. You will learn how to engage others. You will learn how to listen toothers. You will learn how to manage conflict and influence others in highlyconstructive, repeatable communication exchanges.

The engineering field you have chosen as a profession holds as a primarypurpose the benefit of society. The professional societies and tenets that willguide and bound your practice hold ethics, societal benefit, and the improve-ment of engineering effectiveness as their foundation. Our book guides you inthe development of a significant new benefit to both your own profession andsociety. We give you this potential through our invitation to you to participatein a cutting edge engineering innovation—a skill set for effective inter-personal and team communication.

Throughout its history engineering has been nurtured by inventors andinnovators who could see beyond the current limits of their field in order to

xiii

create opportunities for social benefit. The steam engine was seen as a gadgetthat would never compete with the power of a horse. The computer wasviewed as a sideline in relation to the real work that could be done bymechanical machines. Engineers saw beyond initial limitations and pulledtogether seemingly irrelevant and potentially disastrous elements to trans-form these nascent opportunities into full functioning contributions. Theyengineered these elements effectively and created technologies that con-tributed profoundly to benefit society for generation after generation.

Technical and nontechnical interpersonal communication is currentlyperceived as an almost irrelevant and minor component of the engineeringprocess and engineering education—given short shrift even though it iscontinually required by professional societies and accrediting bodies, such asthe Accreditation Board for Engineering and Technology (ABET). TheABET EAC 2010 Criterion 3 Student Outcomes lists several aspects forsuccessful engineering education:

(a) An ability to apply knowledge of mathematics, science, andengineering.

(b) An ability to design and conduct experiments, as well as to analyze andinterpret data.

(c) An ability to design a system, component, or process to meet desiredneeds within realistic constraints, such as economic, environmental,social, political, ethical, health and safety, manufacturability, andsustainability.

(d) An ability to function on multidisciplinary teams.

(e) An ability to identify, formulate, and solve engineering problems.

(f) An understanding of professional and ethical responsibility.

(g) An ability to communicate effectively.

(h) The broad education necessary to understand the impact of engineeringsolutions in a global, economic, societal, and environmental context.

(i) A recognition of the need for, and an ability to engage in, life-longlearning.

(j) A knowledge of contemporary issues.

(k) An ability to use the techniques, skills, and modern engineering toolsnecessary for engineering practice.

Outcomes (d), (f), and (g) include aspects that require a learner’s curricu-lum to address development of an understanding of professional responsi-bility, working on teams, and communications. These “soft skills”, nowsometimes referred to as professional skills, are given minimal space in

xiv PREFACE

already crowded engineering education curricula because they are often thehardest to teach, to learn, and to assess. The skills related to these elementsare not necessarily best learned through classroom lecture, but throughpractice in authentic engineering contexts, such as capstone design projects.They are crucial none-the-less. Their foundational quality is also highlightedby the United Nations Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization(UNESCO) which has defined four pillars of education.

� Learning to know� Learning to do� Learning to live together� Learning to be

The skills related to interpersonal communications primarily fit the intentof the Learning to be—which includes all aspects of human development—they also directly support Learning to live together.

Taking this global perspective and translating it into high quality engineer-ing educational deliveries, the International Conceive, Design, Implement,and Operate (CDIO) initiative has sought to bring a more holistic view for theeducation and development of engineers.

There is a growing recognition that young engineers must possess awide array of personal, interpersonal, and system building knowledgeand skills that will allow them to function in real engineering teams andto produce real products and systems, meeting enterprise and societalneeds.

(Crawley et al., 2011)

The CDIO initiative defines a syllabus for engineering education thataddresses a broad span of competencies, technical and non-technical, forengineers, that should address

Specific, detailed learning outcomes for personal and interpersonalskills, and product, process, and system building skills, as well asdisciplinary knowledge, consistent with program goals and validated byprogram stakeholders.

(Crawley et al., 2007)

In addition to being important for global competencies, communication isoften cited as one of the most highly desired and important traits of asuccessful engineer in the US defense workforce. Figure 1 shows the results

PREFACE xv