How To: Thrive Socially Without a

Smartphone

By Emily Nichols

September 5, 2012 at 12:00 am

When it comes to finding service, the taller the better.

Photo by Paula VandenHeuvel

“On a planet swarming with billions of people, you must be the only person without a

smartphone.”

Your friends like to remind you on an hourly basis that you are at a disadvantage, as they scroll

through their Twitter and Facebook feeds while simultaneously checking their emails and

uploading pictures to Instagram.

You can barely read the numbers on your faded keypad, and sometimes your phone’s screen

flashes white and freezes.

Without GPS, you get lost everywhere you go. You’ve even been disregarded as a functioning

member of society because you can’t seem to keep up with these gadgets.

That’s not just me, right?

I have a feeling I actually don’t stand alone as the sole owner of a brick phone. Regardless, if

anyone is qualified to advise others on how to thrive socially without a smartphone, it’s me. Not

that I thrive, per se, but I have successfully honed the craft of surviving sans smartphone.

Keep it in your front pocket

Booty calls are never good. It is important to remember where the phone is at all times when on

your person. Leaving the device in your back pocket will guarantee disaster. Because even

though the phone supposedly “locks” when it is not in use, it can unlock at any time without

warning. In fact, unlocking the phone with your butt is easier than unlocking it with the OK

button.

“It’s not you that’s dumb, it’s just your phone.”

Photo by Paula VandenHeuvel

Keep your brick in a location where it is not subject to random pressures. If you don’t, the little

(or not so little) rascal will decide to unlock itself, scroll through your phone book, call your

most easily offended family member and then make sure you say something incriminating. They

may not be smartphones, but they sure are schemers.

If it doesn’t feel like ruining our day by informing our super-conservative aunts and uncles of our

weekend escapades, it’ll be sure to dig into the deepest confines of our photo albums. Dumb

phones are professional diggers, and they love to set the most hideous or incriminating photo

available as your background photo — just before you offer to let someone borrow it — which

you should avoid doing anyway.

Claim it’s dead

If anyone asks to use your phone, save yourself an awkward conversation and tell them it just

died. Make sure you say “just” died. This way, it at least gives the incorrect effect that it indeed

has a battery life of some length — even if it is only 2 hours and 4 minutes.

“Back when I had that phone…” Yeah, yeah, yeah — you walked three miles in the snow,

uphill, with no shoes to get to school too. We get it — times are changing and the rest of the

world has moved on, but this is what we’re working with, so let it happen for us. It is easier to

avoid these comments by refusing the services of your brick to anyone.

It is recommended that you avoid any exposure of your ancient phone, but if the situation does

arise, embrace it.

Enhance the mockery

Use some of the following lines to lighten the mood or stir up some nostalgia.

“Hold on, I need to send a telegram to my friend”

That one always gets them laughing.

“I love T9 Word. It’s so accurate! It’s like it can read my mind”

Others will be able to relate to this. T9 Word is the first-generation version of the iPhone’s

autocorrect function. T9 can predict exactly which word we dumbphone users want to say—at

least that’s what it is supposed to do.

“Touch screen sure isn’t as accurate as these buttons”

Poking fun at smartphones is one of the best ways to overcome the emotional struggle of not

owning one. So belittle them as frequently as possible.

Always give your number out

Especially in times of potential relationship-starters, it is best to give your number to the

interested parties. Unless you feel that you have expertly honed your skills of cracking jokes

about the realities of your brick ownership, whipping out your slice of 2004 will certainly only

set you back. Nonchalantly distribute your number — and ask the receiving parties to send you a

text so you can save their number to your phone when you get some privacy.

Volunteer to drive

If you are the driver, you are excused from navigation duties. This is a similar concept to pulling

the “I’m DD tonight” card at a party to avoid criticism for not participating in the vomit-inducing

thrill of a lifetime. Anyways, if you drive, you don’t have to navigate. It’s not like our first

generation devices are capable of navigation anyways, so we’ll leave that to the esteemed

smartphone owners.

However, if you are walking toward your social destination, be sure to travel with smartphone-

equipped personnel — because without them, you’re a lost cause. Literally. You will be lost.

Manipulate the formatting

Creativity is key.

Photo by Paula VandenHeuvel

Do some serious research and learn to work the symbols. Just because your phone may not be

able to display a given emoticon does not mean that your partner in conversation lives the same

disadvantaged lifestyle. Learn what codes are received as emoticons on smartphones. Just

because your phone displays strange square-shaped figures and “???” does not mean you can’t

make them think you’re up-to-date.

>:’) B-)

Subscribe to mobile social media notifications

In order to stay as updated and socially apt as possible, it may be in your best interest to

subscribe to Facebook notifications and tweets sent straight into your phone inbox. However,

this social system will require frequent inbox-deletion in order to avoid the extra vibration that

informs you, “INBOX 83% FULL.” Believe me — the extra maintenance is worth feeling

connected to the social media world.

Rename everything in your contact list

Use your contact list to your advantage. If you do subscribe to Facebook updates sent to your

mobile device, rename the incoming number. Use a real human name so the incoming messages

appear to be part of a thrilling conversation.

Be reasonable. Getting 20 texts per day from “Taylor Lautner” doesn’t seem too realistic. I tried

it once, but saw no results socially. A simple name like “Nick” or “Ashley” can give the

impression that you do indeed converse with members of the opposite sex. As a bonus, when you

leave your phone on the table (although you should avoid this circumstance) your friends will

think you’re wildly popular.

Creative manipulation and constant caution are key to maintaining a social life without a

smartphone. Never let the snobby smartphone users belittle you.

It’s not you that’s dumb, it’s just your phone.

Contact the writer at ejnicho1@asu.edu or via Twitter @TheEmilyNichols

Gluten-free Living as Easy as Pie

By Emily Nichols

September 26, 2012 at 12:00 am

Many stores have increased their selections in gluten-free items.

Photo by Stephanie Pellicano

For months she shared nothing. She refused not out of greed, but out of fear.

“Hey Kristin, you want a piece of gum?” the kids would ask, and she would always deny the

offer.

Kinesiology Junior Kristin Fankhauser now approaches her seventh year living with celiac

disease.

Essentially, celiac disease is intolerance of the small intestine to gluten. Those who are

diagnosed with the disease must avoid wheat, barley, rye and sometimes oats.

Both Kristin and her sister, Elisa Fankhauser, have been diagnosed with the disease. Kristin

learned that she had the intolerance just one month after she had seen her sister fall to the

intolerable fate. Celiac disease is often hereditary, and in short time, the lifestyle of their

household completely changed.

“‘What? We can’t have bread?’” Kristin remembers sobbing for her sister, but also for herself.

The initial shock and sadness of a newly diagnosed insensitivity sparked vigilance in their lives

and called for a much more focused diet.

Bread, cookies and cupcakes were difficult to avoid, but even surprising products, such as

lipstick, Chap Stick and even medications (aspirin) became potential risks. Attentiveness became

key. Luckily for the sisters, their parents helped them read all labels, grocery shop effectively

and cook carefully. As the girls finished middle school and high school, they lived and ate

cautiously.

With the start of college, new challenges arose. Life away from home erases the simple luxury of

a safely cooked meal, Kristin says. Grocery shopping became a lofty task when her mom was no

longer by her side down the aisles.

Fortunately, with the increase in awareness and growing understanding for those with gluten

sensitivities, restaurants and grocery stores alike have recently expanded their menus and

department selections in order to accommodate these needs.

Although there are numerous indie cafes and independent restaurants that offer alternative

menus, Kristin finds relieving convenience in mainstream places.

“It’s always nice when the mainstream places have gluten-free menus,” she says.

She and her sister find food comforts in chain restaurants such as Pei Wei because they offer an

exclusively gluten-free menu and they are easy to track down.

The convenient availability of gluten-free crackers, breads, salad dressings and bagels in

mainstream grocery stores also save shoppers— like the Fankhauser sisters— from always

needing to track down specialty stores.

Grocery stores have whole sections devoted to gluten-free items, but sometimes these special

goods can be more expensive.

Photo by Stephanie Pellicano

Even Target and Safeway have what she needs. However, Kristin admits that it can be slightly

upsetting when she and her roommate both purchase a loaf of bread, but hers is more expensive.

If only it were as simple as cost differences. The gluten-free lifestyle requires cautious planning

and diligent understanding of food products that most consumers do not even consider.

However, eating gluten-free would be a piece of cake for biochemistry senior Brooke Frederick.

Even with the utmost care, some of the most wholesome and careful organic eateries may still

pose a threat to Frederick’s health.

Undoubtedly, celiac disease is serious. But in perspective, Frederick says she would delight in

these simple restrictions—to avoid only wheat, barley, rye and oats. It is not a restriction but a

luxury in her case.

“Celiacs have it good,” Frederick says, while trying to explain her dietary restrictions in simple

terms. “I’d rather have to avoid wheat and gluten.”

It would be quicker to list that which she can eat as opposed to listing what she must avoid. After

she practiced gluten-free eating for nearly 5 years under the assumption that her reactions were

caused by gluten intolerance, Fredrick finally pinpointed her true dietary concerns in her throat.

In February of this year, Frederick learned that she has eosinophilic esophagitis, a condition of

extreme inflammation of the esophagus that often requires elimination dieting to avoid reactivity.

Ironically, wheat is one of the only ingredients Fredrick can eat safely without fears of an

allergic reaction. Elimination diets such as hers are arduous, and her daily efforts call for

extraordinary diligence.

In a list of 60 food items on her allergy test, Fredrick must avoid 43 of them. Not only must she

shun corn, soy and eggs, but she also faces risks in foods like chicken, cucumber, lamb, pork,

green bell peppers and peaches.

With a list so detailed, Fredrick often skips social gatherings.

“Sometimes I feel isolated,” she says. “My friends will ask me to get something to eat at the MU,

and I just think in my head ‘No, I’ll stay behind. I already know I can’t eat anything there.’”

Restrictive diets can pose social threats. For both Fankhauser and Frederick, going out for meals

inflicts an unwarranted stress about what they will choose to eat. The act of ordering a

hamburger without the bun may sound simple, but the associated embarrassment is often enough

to deny an invite.

“I’d rather just not go than sit there like an awkward person,” Frederick says. “I always feel like

I’m the weird girl asking a bunch of questions.”

Fortunately, restaurants and support groups have grown out of collaborative efforts by restricted

dieters to eliminate their everyday worries.

To cope, Kristin and her sister have created “sister dates” that allow them both a delicious meal

without worry. Several online sites offer plentiful options for fun and social outings that are

friendly for the cautious diners.

Gluten-free blogger Jessica Fielding works to ensure that there is ample access to information for

those with nutritional restrictions. Her startup, Gluten Free AZ, offers links to blogs, lists of

recipes and celiac support groups, and even links to an Arizona Gluten Free Directory of

accommodating restaurants.

“I wish something like this would have been around when I was in college,” Fielding says.

Fielding, who has been gluten-free for 10 years, hopes that college students and adults alike can

easily access the tools and resources they need to live and eat stress-free.

Other larger organizations have also taken steps to alleviate the stress of restrictive eating.

“Over the last couple of years, the interest in gluten-free has taken off,” says Lola O’Rourke,

Director of Consumer Education for the Gluten Intolerance Group.

Groups such as this one work to inform and support gluten-free individuals in many areas.

Efforts for youth support are in action, and campaigns for living gluten-free in school and

college are underway, O’Rourke says.

During a time when quick and inexpensive meals are of the most convenience, those with celiac

disease and extreme food allergies face extraordinary inconveniences. With community support

for elimination diets, though, it might soon be easy as pie.

A Growing Pho-nom-nom-nom-enon

By Emily Nichols

October 2, 2012 at 12:00 am

The sauces and add-ins give flavor to the Vietnamese soup.

Photo by Emily Nichols

It is important to clarify that pho is properly pronounced “fuh.” With such a pronunciation, the

subtly inappropriate jokes are endless.

About a year ago, hardly anyone knew what the pho it was. Now, the mouthwatering Vietnamese

soup has established itself as a notable noodle dish.

Indeed, it may be assumed that even if the soup didn’t taste as phenomenal as it does, it would

still be noteworthy in pop culture solely for its name.

Some of the best pho hotspots in Arizona are located relatively nearby the ASU Tempe, West

and Downtown campuses.

What the pho?

Great question. What the pho is pho? Boiled down to the simplest of terms (and because there is

not enough time in a day to explain every detail of its glory), pho is a Vietnamese noodle soup

that consists of a sensational steaming broth, a variant type of meat and cooked rice noodles.

Pho reigns from Hanoi in northern Vietnam, but also holds an equally large presence in southern

Vietnam. Often it is described as the staple meal of Vietnamese households. Slowly but surely,

pho poured its way across the globe and into the commercialization of American restaurants.

Pho Extraordinaire Chan Tieu owns his own Vietnamese restaurant, unPhogettable in Mesa (just

off the light rail), and says that pho is currently growing more and more in popularity. He

attributes this blossoming recognition to websites, such as Urbanspoon and Yelp.

What to expect

Each restaurant serves a delectable bowl of rice noodles and palatable broth garnished with

onions or scallions, depending on regional variation. For a nice contrast, each Vietnamese

restaurant offers their own variation of additional items: bean sprouts, jalapeno slices, Thai basil,

cilantro and lime wedges.

Additionally, most Vietnamese restaurants provide diners with a self-serve station that wields

options, such as chili paste, Sriracha, hoisin, fish sauce and soy sauce.

The sauces are inarguably flavor-enhancing. However, the more cultured eaters tend to argue

against excessive saucing in order to preserve pho authenticity.

You’re forking kidding me

The long slippery noodles make pho the most awkward first date food.

Photo by Emily Nichols

WARNING: Pho is not optimal for first dates. Eating and slurping the soup requires two types of

utensils: a deeply concaved spoon and chopsticks.

But don’t worry if you can’t use chopsticks — the waiters offer newcomers a fork.

What the pho happens in the pot?

A typical batch of pho cooks anywhere between 12 to 26 hours and requires almost constant

attention.

Although each batch differs, the essential spices of the dish include ginger, cardamom, star anise,

coriander, cinnamon and fennel. These distinct spices are simmered with beef bones (and

sometimes other beef byproducts) to create an unparalleled broth.

At his restaurant in Mesa, Tieu and his restaurant staff cook their broth for 26 hours until it

shimmers.

Because the meat bones are dirty, Tieu says for the duration of the 26-hour process, the

unPhogettable gang must constantly wipe the broth clean of floating fat. He approximates that

with each pot of broth, they scoop it clean at least a thousand times — that’s 38.46 scoops per

hour.

And all 26 of those hours are necessary.

“Everybody scoops,” Tieu says. “Other places try and cut corners and compensate.”

Cook time is no competition, but Rice Paper in downtown Phoenix only cooks its broth for 12

hours. However, this eatery boasts a gargantuan pot size. Carlos Diaz, the head chef at Rice

Paper, uses 20-gallon pots and simmers his signature broth overnight while the restaurant is

closed.

Comparatively, mother and daughter team Avina Pham and Thanh Nguyen simmer their broth

for 14 hours overnight in four 10-gallon pots, brewing up to 40 gallons of soup every night.

Their restaurant, Pho Avina, is across from the West campus and also hosts a boba bar, where

customers can order a unique ethnic beverage to pair with their meal.

Choosing a chop to stick with

Imagine a world where sizzling bowls of noodles were only a hop, skip and jump away.

Fortunately, the selection of Vietnamese eateries in the Valley is plenti-pho-l.

Aside from his exceptionally clean restaurant in downtown Phoenix, the general manager at Rice

Paper says the appearance of a restaurant can suggest much about the authenticity of its food.

When it comes to pho, the dirtier the plate, the better the meal.

Photo by Emily Nichols

“The dirtier the place is, the better the food,” Khoutakoun says.

Luckily for students, these nearby restaurants are double whammies — both the floors and the

food are sanitary.

The First Time I Heard My Mom Swear By Emily

NicholsOctober 18, 2012 at 12:00 am

A rushed dialing of numbers was a last attempt to open the garage.

Photo by Kailin Biggerstaff

The vulgar outburst was over nothing. As the garage door began to inch its way down behind us,

my mom’s dignity inched its way out the door.

She dropped it. Right then and there on our driveway. The F-bomb.

I had heard it hundreds of times before, and I had even occasionally practiced using it myself. I

was fourteen, and I would still pause and cautiously survey my surroundings before lamely

dropping a curse word. For us teens, it was becoming a part of our new image to integrate these

profanities, but for my mom — the loyal, loving, honest, sacrificing, protective caretaker — to

drop the nuclear bomb of swear words? That was Hiroshima.

My mom realized just as the garage door sealed shut that she had forgotten something inside the

house. At this realization, she just about lost her you-know-what. The woman (or at this

point, the beast) instantly turned beet red, squawked the F-word, and scrambled her way over to

the keypad outside our garage door. She began feverously typing the five-digit code to reopen

the door. We weren’t even on our way to a time-sensitive event. In fact, we were nonchalantly

heading out for a morning hike.

Perhaps I overreacted to her overreaction. I felt my heart sink to the pits of my small intestine,

my ears ring, and my jaw plummet to my feet. It’s likely she didn’t even say the word that

loudly, but my eardrums were undoubtedly still underdeveloped and oversensitive to that grand-

supreme of curse words.

Instead of commenting on her obscenity, I opted to remain silent. At this point I was almost

fearful of her.

Just why this one particular incident caused my mom’s potty mouth to run wild is still unclear to

me. A whole new set of doors (besides the garage door) opened up as I analyzed the situation. I

thought to myself: If my mom just got

that worked up over absolutely nothing, she must have a lot more on her mind than I know about.

She probably even has real feelings and emotions too…

But for all these years she was my mom, not a real human being.

For the most part, all throughout infancy, for the duration of childhood, and for that first innocent

part of adolescence youngsters seem to assume that their parents are something other than

human.

We believe that perhaps they are superhuman, or possibly a completely different species.

Regardless, there is absolutely no way we have anything in common with those

bizarre, domineering, monotonous robots.

Parents talked about politics and finances and the current state of the economy. Parents ate

roasted brussel sprouts and finely cooked salmon. Parents drank conservative amounts of ritzy

draft beers and tart wines, and they were always allowed to stay awake past midnight on school

nights.

They were always tired, and they did not — and would never — understand what life was like

for us kids. They tended to believe that they knew the best way for us to handle our social lives,

and they loved to keep us from having one.

So why did it take my mom’s sudden vulgarity for me to realize that all of my conceptions were

generalized and entirely untrue?

That moment with the garage door made my mom look like a fool. It knocked her off her

pedestal. As that word fell out of her mouth, it proved to me that she was neither flawless nor

impenetrable. And that was exactly the assurance I needed.

At first I felt embarrassed by her uncontrolled profanity, but later I realized that this was a

victorious moment for me.

As the word that I had before only heard used by my peers bolted from her lips, I realized that

my mother was just a grown version of me. She had probably even been a teenager once, too.

With this discovery came emotions of guilt, adoration and understanding that I had never felt

toward my mom.

In that moment, at the explosion of that very first F-bomb onto the driveway, our personal guards

were destroyed, secrecy was wiped out, and all the discomfort and distress that had ever been

present between us was dissolved.

My mom and I have now been freely cussing at home since 2007.

Profanity broke down the walls of perfection.

Photo by Josh Loeser

Our newfound relationship is more than just the billion varieties of “S” words, “D” words, and

“B” words that we share. Our willingness to say exactly how we feel — using whichever words

come to mind — demonstrates our authentic bond. Instead of working to maintain and present

ourselves as perfectionists adorned with halos, we can work to strengthen one another for

survival in that vicious world with vicious words.

I often try to put myself in her shoes — to see her as she must see me. I try to imagine myself in

my fifties looking down upon the spawn of my own genes as I converse with him or her, freely

using expletives. However, I can’t imagine burdening the responsibility that many other parents

feel as they constantly try to portray themselves in a constantly flawless limelight. I appreciate

the times when my mom breaks down in front of me because she feels hopeless about tomorrow.

For the majority of my youth, my mom did everything in her power to conceal her true struggles

with finances, relationships and family. Now she can relax in my presence.

Over the past five years, our comfort has debatably crossed the line of mother-daughter

normalcy. We wear (or don’t wear) whatever outfits we wish around the house, I openly burp at

the dinner table, and our conversations by no means follow familial standards.

On several different occasions, my mom has referenced drunken terminology that even I didn’t

recognize. For example: “the zactlys.” For those who have never heard of this phrase, it’s a

morning ailment that results after a raging kegger when one wakes up to a horrid case of

halitosis, where their “mouth tastes ‘zactly’ like their ass.”

Nichols and her mom can laugh about it now.

Photo by Josh Loeser

Such a dynamic may seem strange to the parent-child pairs who believe in maintaining a

separation between their family life and their sometimes risqué personal lives.

For me, there is nothing like the ability to coalesce the two. Having lived both in fear and

alliance with the woman who reigns authoritatively over me, I can vouch that the latter is

definitely preferred.

The family that swears together, stays together.

6 Ways To Dress Up a Tortilla

By Emily Nichols

October 30, 2012 at 12:00 am

They say not to play with food, but food deserves to have some fun too. Indeed food deserves to

experience all of the same socialization that humans do. So, if humans get to play dress up for

Halloween, so does food.

If you’re struggling to think of a Halloween costume for yourself, perhaps you can draw

inspiration from your food. Tortillas are the perfect candidate for dress up, and this Halloween,

that’s exactly what we’re doing. We’re dressing tortillas with tasty outfits.

As a result of their versatility, tortillas are invited to almost every party. They get along perfectly

with ingredients of all shapes, sizes and ethnicities. Saucy beans and rice, sweet butter and

cinnamon, and even zesty grilled chicken all agree that tortillas are some of the most accepting

food they’ve ever met.

Tortillas are noteworthy and aren’t too boisterous in a room full of people. They generally don’t

try to steal all of the attention from a party crowd, but when they do — they get plenty of action.

No matter what they wear, they still get nibbled at.

There are plenty of ways for humans to look unpleasant in a Halloween costume. However, there

are very few ways to make a tortilla look appalling.

In the spirit of Halloween, here are six ways to “dress up” a tortilla:*

*Warning: Dressing up a tortilla in a particularly seductive outfit will guarantee tongue action.

1

The Costume: Mario (from Nintendo)

Sundried Tomato & Turkey Panini

Load up some slices of turkey, pepper jack cheese, spinach and sundried tomatoes into the center

of a tortilla. Roll it like a burrito, and press it between a panini-maker. The gooey cheese and

zesty tomatoes combine perfectly to transform a typical lunch dish into a romantic Italian meal.

Delizioso!

Photo by Emily Nichols

2

The Costume: Lucha Libre

Bean and Cheese Burrito

It’s the low maintenance, high-class combo. You can never go wrong with just beans and cheese.

Unless you have gross beans or cheese. Just combine re-fried beans and plenty of Mexican

cheese and melt them together in the microwave, dump it in the middle of the tortilla and roll it

up. Serve with salsa or hot sauce.

Photo by Emily Nichols

3

The Costume: Disney Princess

Fruit Nachos

Tortillas also double as chips. Revolutionary. Cut the tortilla into strips about 4 inches long, coat

them with a drizzle of olive oil and dust with cinnamon sugar. Bake the strips until crispy. Top

the cinna-chips with fruit, nuts and melted frosting (just microwave store bought frosting). For a

“Sleeping Beauty” themed nacho platter, use raspberries, strawberries, apple slices and walnuts.

For a “Snow White” themed platter, just substitute poisoned apples for regular ones.

Photo by Emily Nichols

4

The Costume: Mermaid

Tuna Salad Roll-ups

Don’t be a chicken; use tuna. Combine canned tuna with mayonnaise, relish, and a splash of salt

and pepper. Roll the tuna salad in the tortilla and cut into pinwheels. Pinwheels have nothing to

do with mermaids or the sea; they simply just look better. It’s all about appearance these days.

Photo by Emily Nichols

5

The Costume: Cowboy/ Cowgirl

Cool Ranch Buffalo Chicken Wrap

Howdy, ranchers! Literally — ranch dressing is a must. Combine leftover buffalo chicken wings

or any saucy chicken with crispy romaine lettuce and ranch dressing. Please note: this dish tastes

best if eaten while riding a horse.

Photo by Emily Nichols

6

The Costume: Soccer Mom

Pizza

No, this is not an optical illusion. Tortillas can serve the same purpose as pizza crust. They are

merely just a means of getting sauce and cheese and toppings into a mouth. To make tortilla

become pizza, simply cover the tortilla with pizza sauce, cheese and a miscellany of toppings.

Bake on a baking sheet for however long it takes to cook. Specifics are irrelevant.

Photo by Emily Nichols

If you are struggling to construct your own outfit this year, it may be to your benefit to quit

trying to dress yourself, and focus your energy on dressing up a tortilla.

Everybody likes a good cook— and if you bring along a tasty plate of nachos or mini burritos to

a Halloween party, you’re sure to make more friends than if you attempt to nail a funny outfit.

If all else fails, go to plan B.

Photo courtesy of Harmony Huskinson