Emotional AuditShort Story Writing

Being inspiredRead your poem again and ask the following questions about what

is being conveyed:

Who is this?

Where are they?

What is happening?

When did this happen?

Why did it happen?

What happened before?

What will happen after ?

How are they feeling?

What is this person’s discursive background? (Age, gender, race, religious beliefs, education, status, socio-economics etc)

What if …..?

Identifying emotion in your ideasRead the poem again and:

Identify the emotions being conveyed. Is it…anger, sadness, fear, happiness,

confusion, loneliness, cynicism etc?

How could this develop a character? What would be their thoughts, their intentions,

their emotions, their reactions, their desires?

Writing with EmotionWrite a paragraph that tells the story of a

moment that could be extended from the poem’s key themes, viewpoint, mood or invited reading.

Aim to ‘move’ the reader by revealing the character’s emotions and the tone of the situation.

In this writing practice, keep it simple using:Use third personUse past tense

The Hero – Siegfried Sassoon 1917‘Jack fell as he’d have wished,’ the Mother said, And folded up the letter that she’d read. ‘The Colonel writes so nicely.’ Something broke In the tired voice that quavered to a choke. She half looked up. ‘We mothers are so proud Of our dead soldiers.’ Then her face was bowed.

Quietly the Brother Officer went out. He’d told the poor old dear some gallant lies That she would nourish all her days, no doubt. For while he coughed and mumbled, her weak eyes Had shone with gentle triumph, brimmed with joy, Because he’d been so brave, her glorious boy.

He thought how ‘Jack’, cold-footed, useless swine, Had panicked down the trench that night the mine Went up at Wicked Corner; how he’d tried

To get sent home, and how, at last, he died, Blown to small bits. And no one seemed to care Except that lonely woman with white hair.

‘The Hero’ example responseJack feel back on his haunches in an attempt

to escape the noise and dust. The trenches were like a prison, a long line of misery. As the whistle blew to go over the top Jack froze. The commotion around him faded as took out the portrait of his mother, kept safely in his top pocket. He was not convinced by his mother’s gaze and tears pooled in his eyes. With the locket back in its usual place, Jack clung onto his rifle. He edged closer towards the ladder but could not take the first step.

Emotional audit task: Identify the language devices and techniques used to convey emotion in the ‘The Hero’ short story paragraph.

Language Devices and Techniques in ‘Hero’ paragraphUse of the senses – sound eg noise; touch eg

locketSimile – trenches like prisonPersonification – trenches – miseryChange of tension and tone – fear to calm to

paralysisVocabulary choices to create tone – escape,

prisonVocabulary choices to develop character –

verbs eg froze, pooled‘Best fit’ vocabulary to develop setting – noun

eg commotion