Emotional Intelligence in

Project Management

How to promote a culture of ownership and collaboration in

leading Projects

Workshop on

“A career is now not so much a ladder of roles, but a growing reputation for

making things happen. Influence, not authority, is what drives the political

organization today in all organizations”

-Charles Handy, author- The Leader of the future

The Rules for Project Managers Have Changed

On time, on budget, within scope – old story; Now- do more with less

Why EI for Project managers?

We tend to place a higher value on tasks. We sometimes lack

empathy. Recognizing the importance of stakeholder

relationships and role of Emotional Intelligence in managing

projects can be the big the differentiator.

“To advance as a PM requires understanding and mastery of

emotional intelligence concepts. Project managers must be

emotionally intelligent.”

J. Rodney Turner, PhD, and Ralf Mueller, DBA,

Authors of Choosing Appropriate Project Managers

Emotional intelligence can help PMs to:

1. Develop stakeholder relationships that support the project’s success

2. Anticipate and avoid emotional breakdowns

3. Deal with difficult team members and manage conflict

4. Leverage emotional information to make better decisions

5. Communicate more effectively

6. Create a positive work environment and high team morale

7. Cast a vision for shared project objectives that will attract, inspire, and team

Workshop Objectives

• Define emotional intelligence and how it relates to personal and organizational

success.

• Interpret assessment results from the Leader EQ Inventory.

• Apply tools to increase personal skills: self awareness and self management of

emotions.

• Apply tools to increase social skills: recognizing the emotions in others and

responding to those emotions.

• Discuss social responsibility and how it supports an organization’s goals and

individual goals.

• Apply tools to increase your and others emotional intelligence

Expected contributions

To succeed

confidentiality, goodwill, commitment, humour

A DIFFERENT INTRODUCTION

• Stand up

• 2 circles

• You will answer the question I ask in 1’30. Your partner listens

• The person with his back inside the circles starts…

“We are being judged by a new

yardstick; not just how smart we

are, or by our training and

expertise, but also how well we

handle ourselves and each

other.”

Daniel Goleman

Until I came to IBM, I thought that culture was just one of the important

elements in an organization's success. What I realized that culture isn't just one

aspect of the game, it is the game. In the end, an organization is nothing more

than the collective capacity of its people to create value.

Louis V. Gerstner, Jr. Former chairman of the board of IBM

67%

Hay/Bcber study - 181 different positions from 121 companies

Impact of Emotional Competencies on Effective Performance

Harvard Business School

› Empathy

› Perspective taking

› Rapport building

› Cooperation

PMBOK ® Guide on Interpersonal Skills

• Leadership

• Team building

• Motivation

• Communication

• Influencing

• Decision making

• Political and cultural awareness

• Negotiation

So…What is Emotional Intelligence?

“The capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of

others, for motivating ourselves, for managing emotions well in

ourselves and in our relationships.”

Daniel Goleman

EI Defined…

“the abilities to recognize and regulate emotions in ourselves and in

others”- Daniel Goleman and Gary Cherniss

What Emotional Intelligence is Not?

o Emotional intelligence is not about being nice all the time.

– It is about being honest.

o Emotional intelligence is not about being “touchy-feely.” – It is about being aware of your feelings, and those of others.

o Emotional intelligence is not about being emotional.

– It is about being smart with your emotions.

Good News!!

Our level of emotional

intelligence is not fixed

genetically…it is largely

learned, and it continues to

develop as we go through life

and learn through experience.

Learning About Emotional Intelligence Is Only the First Step…Emotional competence is the

ultimate goal

Understanding the Emotional Intelligence Framework

A Brief Primer on Emotional Intelligence

2 Aspects of Emotional Intelligence

PERSONAL

COMPETENCE

SOCIAL COMPETENCE

4 Components of EI

4 Components of EI

Self-Awareness

Self- Management

Social Awareness

Relationship management

1 2

3 4

Self-Awareness

Self- Management

Social Awareness

Relationship management

1 2

3 4

Self-Awareness. Can I accurately

Identify my own emotions and

tendencies as they happen?

4 Components of EI

Self-Awareness

Self- Management

Social Awareness

Relationship management

1 2

3 4

Can I manage my emotions

and behavior to a positive

outcome?

4 Components of EI

Self-Awareness

Self- Management

Social Awareness

Relationship management

1 2

3 4

Can I accurately identify your

emotions and tendencies as I

interact with you?

4 Components of EI

Self-Awareness

Self- Management

Social Awareness

Relationship management

1 2

3 4

Can I manage the interaction I have with others constructively and to a

positive outcome?

4 Components of EI

Learning Objective

1. Emotional Self- awareness

2. Emotional Self- Management

3. Social Awareness

4. Relationship Management

Self- Awareness

Emotional Self-awareness

Accurate Self-assessment

Self-confidence

Project Management Begins with

Self-Management

“If you understand your own feelings you get a really great handle on how

you’re going to interact and perform with others…So one of the first starting

points is- ‘what’s going on inside of me?’”

Self- Awareness

• Awareness of your beliefs

• Awareness of your capabilities

• Awareness of your skills and knowledge

• Awareness of your thoughts and emotions.

Self- Awareness

Belief & Perception

Emotional Red Flags

• Inappropriate Humor

• Use of Sarcasm

• Passive–Aggressive Behavior

• Playing the Victim

• Hostility

• Reactivity

Emotional Self-Awareness

EQ-I Assessment

Tools and Techniques for Building Self-Awareness

• Keep a Feelings Journal

• Use an emotional Tally sheet

• Conduct a Physical Inventory

• Use Paired Sharing

• Backtrack

• Use Quiet Time

• Track your Reactivity

Accurate Self- Assessment

Accurate Self-Assessment

• MBTI Profile

• Disc Profile

• 360 Performance Management

• Strengthfinder.com

• Learning Style

• Social Style

• Leadership Style

Self-confidence

Self-Confidence: “A Strong Sense of One’s Self-Worth and Capabilities.”

—Daniel Goleman

Meet Tony

Update Your Bio

• If I had to describe my value proposition in three key messages, what

would I say?

• What three pieces of information should I include to make my areas of

expertise clear?

• What three pieces of information should I include so that others know

how to position me for new roles that allow me bring my highest value to

the organization?

Self-Confidence is not about knowing all the answers. It is about

the sense of certainty deep down inside of yourself that you

can handle any problem.

Self-Awareness Personal Action Plan

Page 18 of your Workbook

Until you make your unconscious conscious, it will rule your

life and you will call it fate

- Carl Jung

Self-Management

Impulse Control

Trust-worthiness

Achievement Orientation

People Do not leave Organizations, they leave…

Negative Feelings Can Cripple a Team

• Self-Control Helps Us Avoid Emotional Breakdowns

• Emotional hijacking

Examples of emotional breakdowns in a project environment

1. Angry Tirades

2. Door Slamming

3. E-mail Letter Bomb

4. Withdrawal and Isolation

5. Holding Grudges and Getting Even

6. Criticizing

7. Sarcasm

8. Playing the Victim

Emotional Breakdowns May Be Traced Back To Emotional Triggers.

• Moods and attitudes of others

• Pre-thinking or foreshadowing

• Dwelling

• Personality

• Hot words/hot buttons

• Perceived criticism

• Physical environment

• Illness or physical conditions

• Situations

Emotional Triggers and Amygdala Hijack

Explanatory style

• Permanence

• Pervasiveness

• Personalization

• Optimism vs Pessimism

Techniques to Improve our Self-Control

• Know Thyself

• Use HALT

• Evaluate your physical environment

• Take care of yourself and Stay healthy

• Self-renewal

• Avoid long work-week

• Take time Out

• Talk it out with someone

• Write a mail/letter to yourself

• Use humor

• Do not try to be perfect

• Prepare and Plan ahead

Self-Management Personal Action Plan

Page 25 of your Workbook

Social-Awareness

Empathy

Organizational Awareness

Service Orientation

Nonverbal perception is Nonverbal cues include facial expressions and body language. The second

subcomponent, empathy

Empathy

• Ability to read the spoken and unspoken thoughts and feelings of

others

• Ability to appreciate the thoughts and feelings of others and why

they have them

• Capacity to respect and value people from diverse backgrounds and

cultures

Typical Situations where Social Awareness is Required

1. Understanding the verbal and nonverbal communications of different stakeholders

2. Understanding the motivations of our team members so that we can align them with the objectives of the project

3. Improving your understanding of stakeholders and politics

4. Providing feedback and constructive criticism to team members

5. Recognizing and addressing hostility, conflict, and other negative behaviors

Why do we find empathy difficult as PMs?

1. Self-Orientation

2. Results First

3. Tough Stuff

4. We Are Smarter Than Others

One of the key applications of empathy is empathetic listening, listening without

judgment.

Organizational Awareness

“the ability to read the currents of emotions and

political realities in groups” —Cary Cherniss and Daniel

Goleman

Organizational Awareness

A leader with a keen social awareness can be politically astute, able to

detect crucial social networks and read key power relationships. Such

leaders can understand the political forces at work in an organization,

as well as the guiding values and unspoken rules that operate among

people there. —Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, Annie McKee 7

PM Assessment for Organizational Awareness

• Level 1:Understands the structure and organization of the company and the client

and uses that to manage effectively.

• Level 2: Is familiar with the inner workings of the company and how to get things

done informally. Is able to leverage the organizational capabilities for the client’s

benefit.

• Level 3: Understands and leverages not only the company but the client and

vendor organizations. Recognizes key decision makers in the environment.

• Level 4: Understands the client’s business as well or better than the client;

consistently acts with the client’s best interest in mind.

Understanding Culture & Values of the Organization

• Who gets promoted and why?

• What behavior gets rewarded?

• What type of behavior gets

punished?

• How does the organization react

to problems or challenges?

• What happens when mistakes are

made?

• Are there written or unwritten rules

about starting early or working late?

• Are there rules around telling the truth

or not telling the truth?

• What does it take to succeed in your

organization?

• Who gets the largest bonus and why?

• Who has been fired and why?

Service-Orientation

Techniques for Improving Our Social Awareness

• Improve Your Empathetic Listening

Skills

• Track Emotions during Team Meetings

• Identify Emotional Red Flags in Others

• Mirror Emotions

• Find a mentor good at particular skill

• Track Your Own Emotions

• Keep a Journal

• Explore and Learn About People

• Systematically Dissect the

Organizational Culture

• Assess Your Project Team

• Practice Social Awareness During

Movies

Social-Awareness Personal Action Plan

Page 31 of your Workbook

Relationship Management

Stakeholder Relationships

Developing Others

Truth-Telling

Key Power Relationships

Stakeholder Management

• Collect and Analyze Information About the Stakeholders

– Stakeholder Priority

– Role on the Project

– Position Relative to the Project

– Stakeholder Objectives

– Communication Style

– Facts, Passions, and Areas of Interest

Techniques for Managing Relationships in Projects

1. Apply the Emotional Intelligence Basics and social awareness

2. Stakeholder Management

3. Regular One-on-One Meetings

4. Out to Lunch!

5. Use Icebreakers and Teambuilding Exercises

6. Develop Others by Becoming a Coach and Mentor

7. Recognize Others

8. Assessment Instruments

9. Practice Truth-Telling Techniques

Thomas Kilmann- Conflict Instrument