emotions to emotional intelligence - mfpelisten to your words who or what pushes the buttons self...
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EMOTIONS TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Dr. Deborah Hardy
Educational Consultant/ School Counseling Trainer
GuidED Consulting
www.guidedconsult.com
WHAT ARE FEELINGS
Which one represents your emotions?
WHAT ARE FEELINGS
Which one represents how your focus?
Emotional Journey
How much time did I spend trying to change the title?
How many arguments did I get into trying to avoid non-counseling tasks?
Developing a school counseling program was an emotional journey.
Consider the
Ripple Effect
FEELINGS DIFFER FROM EMOTIONS▪ Emotions
▪ Fight or Flight reaction
▪ Physical state that leads to chemical reaction in the body
▪ Feelings
▪ Mental response to emotions
▪ Feeling varies among individuals
▪ Shaped by individual’s experience
EVENT DRIVENLEARNED BEHAVIOR
http://www.laughteronlineuniversity.com/feelings-vs-emotions/
EMOTIONS
Event stimuli
Response
EmotionsFight or Flight
IMPACT OF EMOTIONS
▪ Learning
▪ Decision-making
▪ Creativity
▪ Relationships
▪ Wellness
EMOTIONS DRIVE
Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence: http://ei.yale.edu/
IMPACT ON PROFESSIONAL PRACTICE
▪ Negativity – drama…drama…drama
▪ Big picture loss – self (ego) versus a program
▪ Satisfaction - do what is required – creativity?
▪ Fear of change – it’s ok to keep doing what is done
UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE
▪ Self Awareness▪ Emotions come on their own terms
▪ Understand your reactions, body language and facial expressions
▪ Listen to your words
▪ Who or what pushes the buttons
▪ Self Management▪ Direct behavior based on self awareness
▪ Know self and how to react or not react
▪ Social Awareness▪ Pick up on emotions in other people
▪ Listening, observing and processing
Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Jean Greaves and Travis Bradberry
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
▪Predictor of performance
▪Driver of leadership
▪Component of personal excellence
▪ Impacts time management, decision making and other skills
Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Jean Greaves and Travis Bradberry
Are you ready for
a new journey?
Thinking in a System▪ How does the school work?
How can the school counseling program contribute to the school?
“If we cannot see the consequences of actions, then we cannot change”
“Connections in every situation”
Understanding Mental Model
Someone’s thought process on how something works in the world.
Activity:Write down one mental model administrators, teachers or parents have of school counselors.
SCHOOL COUNSELING MENTAL MODEL
Foundation
Mission
Vision
Values
SMART Goals
Management
Calendar
Job Description
Time and Task
Delivery
Curriculum Mapping
Groups
Individual Counseling
Responsive
Accountability
Counseling Services
Data
Lesson
Data
AWARD!!!
Understanding Mental Model
Change happens by:
Understanding perspectives
Having everyone on the same page
DELIVERY
Emotions Emotional Intelligence
“School counselors have standards” What is the curriculum mapping for school counseling lessons and how is it shared with the educational community?
“Teachers don’t understand why I need to do lessons”
How can a content area curriculum integrate a school counseling curriculum?
“I presented the career lesson, what more do they want me to do?”
How can a career lesson connect student’s career inventory results to possible majors?
Key Concepts
▪ What are the key concepts that the are being presented in the lesson/unit?
▪ How do the key concepts connect with the Mindset and Behavior Standards?
▪ How are key concepts going to be measured?
▪ If students did not understand the key concept, then what additional support is needed?
Building on Content
What lessons are currently done through school counseling that would align to this Social Studies Standard?
Content Standard 6—Students demonstrate an understanding of the impact of human interaction and cultural diversity on societies.
http://www.metnet.mt.gov/PDF/Standards/ContStds-SocSt.pdf
System Support
Identification of
Team
Roles in the
team
Training
MANAGEMENT
Emotions Emotional Intelligence
“I am doing all this paperwork as a school counselor.”
How can school counselors share counseling service planning with administration?
“Why can’t school counselors have their own professional development topics?”
What does a PLC calendar look like?
“When my administration is out, I become the administrator.”
How can the system support additional needs of administrators without it affecting the support students need from a school counselor?
Program Calendar
Meeting Norms
Wellness process: body scan
What is going to keep you from focusing on the
topic?
Setting agreeable norms for
department meetings
Respect Professionalism ListeningTopic focused:
agenda and minutes
Calendar for Learning
Professional Development
ACCOUNTABILITY
Emotions Emotional Intelligence
“I have to do the time and task to show how I am overworked”
What patterns are being observed in counselor services that need change? How is the change going to benefit all students?
“My student meeting reports show that I have a huge caseload – we need another counselor”
What data is available to show the need for increase in student support?
“Kids have so many problems and we need an elementary school counselor, not just middle and high school counselors”
How can a comprehensive model be beneficial in a K12 alignment process?
Program Development
Outcome Data
Decision Making
FOUNDATION
Emotions Emotional Intelligence
“I am not valued” How are school counselors connected to the system?
“They don’t know what we do” How do school counselors promote the program outcomes?
MISSION
▪ Creating a Mission:
▪ What is the business of our business as school counselors?
▪ Who do you service?
▪ What makes your product unique?
VISION
▪ Creating a Vision:
▪ What is the direction for the program?
FIXED VS. GROWTH MINDSET
▪ Accept the work as is
▪ No personal connection to clients
▪ Afraid of negative feedback
Keep reacting to the triggers
▪ Use data to organize work
▪ Ongoing meetings with students
▪ Use framework to establish program
Stop, think, learn and develop
NEW JOURNEYPersonal Professional
Keep a journal Change focus
Breath Asked for feedback
Walk Listen & Process
Know triggers Understand social emotions
Smile Shut off emails
See the positive in the event Visualize positive results
HEAD TO HEART
Dr. Deborah Hardy
www.guidedconsult.com
(914) 721-3591