English 1010 Portfolio

Sierra Marler

S00694186

Bangerter, English 1010

Fall 2013

Section 1 1

Self Rhetorical Analysis Essay

Section 2 4

Literacy Event Essay

Section 3 7

Peer Review & Commentary

Section 4 11

Text Rhetorical Analysis Essay

Section 1

Me, Myself, and I

When I first read this assignment I thought to myself, well this will be great. I’ll I have to

say is what an amazing writer I am, but how would I make that two pages long? I’ve written

many, many papers and I am very confident in my writing. Being confident in writing is a good

thing and though I may think that there are no mistakes or problems with my papers, there really

are. No matter how amazing the author is, there is always room for improvements and revisions.

I’ve never written a paper getting to analyze my own work. I’m very excited to explain to many

how I view essays and my style of writing. Instead of focusing on one specific essay I’ve done,

I’m going to use them all as examples.

I’ll begin a bit with what I have learned through years on how to write papers. All

through high school I have taken writing classes, I continued to write after I graduated and have

now taken a few writing classes in college. I always try to make sure to begin my papers with

something that will hook the reader. One of the easiest ways is a joke or starting with a personal

story. If I don’t start with something personal, I’ll make sure to add a personal story somewhere

throughout the paper so the reader can understand where I’m coming from and get that emotional

connection. With rhetorical analyze, you’re looking at someone else’s work so I try not to add to

much personal stories. I don’t really give much thought of who the reader will be, I write my

papers as if my writing will be in a paper or magazine that all will read. Writing more for who

my reader would be is something I learned in this class that I have taken into consideration and

changes the way I write a bit.

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I was once challenged by a teacher to write a paper without using the word I, me, and my.

It was tough cause somewhere along I would always want to add at least one I, me, or my in my

paper. Now when I write I make sure to keep a very low use of the words I, me, and my out of it.

I also try not to repeat common words over and over again, so I’ll make sure to keep the

thesaurus open to get in the habit of widening my vocabulary. I’ll also try to make sure to fully

understand the topic of what I’m writing before I’ll begin.

The hardest part for me about writing papers are making them flow. I’ve always tried

doing the organizing and outlines but they never seem to work for me. I’ll do those but then

completely change all my ideas as I’m writing. My best options are just writing, which is how I

wrote all my essays these past weeks. I’ll organize the paper once I have it all written. I try to

add quotes or facts in my work so it shows that I know what I’m writing about and make sure to

not add my opinion in it, unless it’s called for. I’ll read my essays aloud as I’m writing to help

myself make it all flow together.

When writing, I write as I may be giving a powerful speech. My conclusion in our

political cartoon essay would be a good example of that. In my political cartoon essay I begin

with something that would catch the reader’s attention and draw them in. I move on to what the

colors may mean in the picture that the artist used. Once I go through each color, I began

analyzing image itself. I start with the surroundings of the picture than talk about the people in

the picture. I made sure to add a paragraph of information about the Nobel Peace Prize and about

President Obama because he was mentioning his Nobel Peace Prize in the image. I end my

conclusion with a final thought of what the image means to me and the message it conveyed to

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me. Throughout the paper I kept my tone strong, as if I was in a debate. I didn’t want to sound

like I did not know what I was talking about.

I like to let the reader figure out what I’m trying to say instead of making it very blunt

and easy to know. The summary we had to write for our text rhetorical analyze essay is my

favorite example in this case. John Shirley wrote his article about what disgust him of the youth.

In John Shirley’s article he wrote about 11 paragraphs saying why he wasn’t disgusted with the

youth, than his very last paragraph told the reader why he was disgusted with the youth. I made

sure that when I wrote my summary on his article, I mimicked the way he wrote his article by not

telling you what disgust him till the end. Instead of just laying it out and telling you, I kept you

guessing just as John Shirley did. That is exactly how I like to write my essays, my having you

use your own mind to figure out what I am trying to say instead of me telling you.

I look back at the rhetorical analyze essays I have done and love each one I have written.

There are parts in each essay where I’m stronger and other parts I need to work on but overall

I’m very confident of my work. I’ve never taken into full consideration of how much you

knowing who the reader is will actually help on writing. I’ve never given much thought on how I

wrote essays and the delivery of my essays. After this essay it’s given me more thought on that

which has given me ideas on how to revise my other rhetorical essays. Every essay is a learning

experience for me which I love taking in for myself to learn and improve my writing.

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Section 2

Revolution Girl Style

I love to read books but it seems the older I get, the harder it is to really find a book to

catch my interest. I stopped reading fiction books probably about four or five years ago. I just

couldn’t grasp my mind around a world that just isn’t real anymore. I was absolutely fascinated

with non-fiction books though. It’s amazing the stories that people have to tell and the events

that have changed history. Though I do love to read, not many books have really moved or

touched me in any way. The only book that would come close to making an impact on me is

written by Sara Marcus called “Girls to the Front: The True Story of the Riot Grrrl Revolution.”

I’ve known about the riot grrrl movement for years now but this is the first book that was

ever written about it. Not many people have heard of this movement and others are aware of the

movement, just didn’t know the riot grrrls. Women’s rights have always been a topic that every

decade seems to fashion to the world in a different manner. Sara Marcus was the first person to

tell the story of the feminist uprising of the riot grrrls that began in the 1990’s. This book really

opened my eyes on the restriction women have to live with. “Girls to the Front” tells you how

the movement started and what impact it made on girls around the country.

If you’re not sure what a riot grrrl is, it’s just a girl. Any girl can be a riot grrrl; it is just a

name that was given during the movement. In a way you could say that riot grrrls are the fan

base of the feminist movement in the 1990s. Girls in different cities would hold riot grrrl

meetings. These were meetings where girls could go to feel safe and enjoy each other’s company

without being judge or ridiculed.

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The riot grrrl movement started with a nineteen year girl named Kathleen Hanna who was

a junior at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington. Hanna always wanted to be an

artist, she just didn’t know if she wanted to be one in photography or writing. She took a bus ride

to meet her hero Kathy Acker, writer of the 1978 novel “Blood and Guts in High School.” When

having a one on one interview with Acker, Hanna told how she just wants people to listen to her.

Acker told Hanna if you want people to hear you, don’t do it by spoken word, you should be in a

band. That was when Kathleen Hanna formed the band Bikini Kill in 1989 with her friend Tobi

Vail. Bikini Kill got there first break with DC punk band, Nation of Ulysses, when they invited

them to go on a tour across country. From there it just seemed everything fell into place.

Everyone was blown away with this new band they’ve been hearing. From Bikini Kill,

other girl bands formed from their inspiration such as Bratmobile, Heavens to Betsy, Babes in

Toyland, and L7. Even Joan Jett was so impressed with the music she produced one of Bikini

Kill’s albums. Within this time, Tobi Vail started making zines focusing on girl empowerment

which led to be the number one form of communication for riot grrrls across the U.S. zines

where being made and mailed from California, to Washington, down to Florida and back up to

Canada. These girls would fight to share their word of being “equal.” It made them furious that a

guy could walk down an alley and be fine but a girl would always have that fear of being raped

or assaulted. At concerts the girls would stand right in front and hold hands because they were

sick of guys just throwing their weight around.

What I loved most about all of this is that they fought to keep this out of the media. No

one wanted this to become mainstream and be mocked by the big publications. It’s amazing that

something from the underground can stay underground and still reach thousands across the

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country; even parts of Europe was supporting the riot grrrl movement. The riot grrrls across the

country put together conventions, rallies, and raised funds for various charities to help women.

It’s so refreshing to be able to see girls helping girls out instead of just tearing them down. They

did what they could to keep media away so the media couldn’t tell them they were good enough

or not. Riot grrrls became sisters to each other; they gave each other support and courage to be

their own person.

After reading this book I stopped being so hard on myself. It was okay if I didn’t look as

pretty or skinny as someone else and it was okay if I wasn’t as smart or diverse as others. I was

inspired to be in a band but I didn’t have musical talent, so I decided to go in a different direction

of politics and education. This book showed me that I didn’t need to have any restrictions or fear

of doing whatever I wanted just because I was a girl. I wouldn’t call myself a feminist but I do

believe in women’s rights and even though the riot grrrl movement faded in the late 90s, I am

and always will be a riot grrrl.

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Section 3

Peer Reviews & Commentary

This first review was written by Khiem Nguyen on my summary of the article “Disgusted

with the Young.” It was nice that someone commented on my summary and actually knew who

the author was and knew some of his work. I felt Khiem did a nice job complementing my work

and also letting me know a few things I need to work on and fix.

The article you have chosen is really interesting, and I really like the order you have

presented the information. It flows very well.  (Side comment: I am surprised John Shirley feels

so strongly about this because he mainly writes fiction novels; it almost seems counter-

productive towards what he thinks.) I am a little confused on some of the phrases; maybe you

can clarify it a little bit. For example, the first sentence says "...youth over," is there more to it?

Another thing to note is that it is recommended to reference the people/authors by their last

name. Referencing their name that way supposedly is more professional. Overall, I think your

writing is really good.

This second review was written by Matthew Haynes on my political cartoon. This is my

favorite review that I’ve gotten from one of my peers. He reassured me of my work and made

sure to let me know some great additions to the paper I made. He also made sure to notice some

things to be added or fixed without making me feel like he was attacking my work. I added a few

more sentences of analyzing because of his review.

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I really like your choice of which political cartoon you decided to use. In fact, I was

considering this one as well. I did not have any of the same articulate ways of analyzing this

cartoon in any of the great ways you did. I would suggest maybe considering changing the

format just a touch. Maybe say a paragraph for analyzing, another for thoughts. Facts that are

stated about President Obama’s resume, as well as his current standing are a great addition for

those who may not make the connection or, for those who had no idea why exactly he obtained

his Nobel Peace Prize in the first place. I also like how you related it back to the artist and not so

much on personal opinion, keeping the paper focused on the analytical rather than opinion and

fact. Where did you obtain your information? That may be another good citation to incorporate

with your paper. I really like how you elaborated on the colors in such detail! I haven’t really

paid much attention to color meanings, and I felt this was also a great addition to your paper. I

feel that the length of the paper might be a bit short, (I didn’t put it into word to check) I do feel

if you elaborate just a little bit more, maybe a third or fourth look at your paper would generate

the creativity you have obviously put into your paper, adding the length that will give you just a

few more points that may otherwise be scrutinized. Your paper flowed really well! Easy to read

and very articulate. Good job! Go get em’ on the final draft!

This third review was written by me for Joshua Hoellein on his text analysis essay. I

enjoyed the choice of his essay and felt I did good on writing a nice, informative review for him

that hopefully helped him.

I love your choice of article Josh. I have an uncle who has a severe gluten allergy so

growing up this was always a concern and taken into consideration when we had family gathers,

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which were frequently. It’s nice the see the world actually notice this allergy and do what they

can to help. It just bothers and annoys me so much that people use this as a "diet" and not just

because they actually do have gluten allergy. So I love the fact that you choice to write about this

and that you recognized both the allergy and diet of gluten. For being so interested I just wish

the article was longer. I felt it was a bit short than what it could of been. Maybe add an extra

paragraph or few sentences describing what the A.C.F is. I don't think I really know what it is.

Maybe even analyze the author. I wasn't so sure if your conclusion was meshed in with the last

paragraph or if you didn't really have one. Maybe make it a bit clearer of what your conclusion

may be also. Great job otherwise :)

This last review was another one written by me for Jayne Mugweh on her text analysis

essay. Some other reviews she got where criticizing her a bit. I wanted to make sure to reassure

her that she did a great job on her essay. There were a few things I notice I said may help when

she edits but that I enjoyed her work.

I loved your choice of article to write your essay on. I felt that you delivered you essay

and what you wanted to say very well and I enjoyed reading your essay. I know it’s hard when

you copy and paste, the format gets messed up so I'm not sure if it was from the copy and paste

or if you purposely wanted to write your paper like this. I would say space it out so it doesn't

seem like one huge paragraph. I like the bullet points in the beginning of your paper but the on

the other ones I just would suggest finding a way to form them into sentences. It just seem as

though you didn't feel like really describing it. Like I said, your delivery was great and I liked

your conclusion. People always feel the need to add their own input that's not always the case.

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Sometimes it’s nice to read a conclusion without the input and wrap up of the author. It’s not a

'necessary' so if you didn't want to add it than I say don't. So well done on the paper Jayne. My

only changes would to make sure the proper spacing and indent is needed but other than that I

love your essay.

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Section 4

Truly Disgusted With the Youth

Of all the many things that the youth have adapted over the years, author John Shirley

explains how there is one thing that really disgusts him about the young. It doesn’t matter to

Shirley how the youth has abandoned rock n roll for hip hop or the fascination with games like

Grand Theft Auto. John was influenced with music and loved writing horror stories with plenty

of brutal and grotesque scenes that games offer. He’s not even disgusted with young for their

admiration of fame or their ideas to film bum fights and girls gone wild. It doesn’t even disgust

him that the youth rather a cell phone than a book because it was the baby boomers and Gen X

that created everything the youth is invested into now. The one thing and the reason that matters

that really disgusts him is that the youth doesn’t bother to show up to the polls and vote. Shirley

explains how even though most are registered to vote it is too much trouble for the youth because

they do not understand the issues and cannot even bother to show up to vote on advice of others.

It would be too much work for the youth to simply understand and vote which is why John

Shirley is really disgusted with the young.

John Shirley’s article “Disgusted with the Young: The Reason That Matters” was never

published in a magazine or newspaper. In fact, I don't even remember how I happen to stumble

upon the article or what I was searching for online to even find it. For being a well-known writer,

he wasn’t to concerned about this article being published for many to read. Of the ten to eleven

paragraphs that he wrote, he did not even bother telling the reader why he was disgusted with the

young until the very last paragraph. Shirley kept the reader guessing and kept their attention

throughout the whole article by holding off until the final paragraph to reveal what disgust him

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the most about the young. He made sure to give almost every example someone could think of

first, and then explains that none of that amounts to what he believes, the youth not voting, is the

only reason that matters to be disgusted with the young.

John Shirley began his career in 1979 as an American fantasist and science fiction

novelist. Throughout his career he has written an abundant amount of short stories, TV scripts,

screenplays, and song lyrics for bands. He is best known for his A Song Called Youth trilogy and

for writing the script for the movie The Crow. Shirley has published over 30 books with only one

of them being a non-fiction biography of the life and ideas of George Gurdjieff. He is a well-

respected writer and has over three decades of work to show for.

Shirley’s audience seems to be directed towards his generation, a generation that did not

grow up on the technology and entertainment as many of us all have. At first it was hard to tell

who his intended audience was. Because it concerned the young, I figure the audience was

directed towards people of my age. Well in his article he says things like “they’re entitled to piss

off older people...” and “we created the systems they’re caught up in...” and “we showed up at

the polls and we voted.” He wrote his article as if he was talking to his friends or to people of his

own age to explain of the many things that the youth got caught up in, he is appalled that the

young don’t go and vote.

Though Shirley’s whole article is basically examples of why he is disgusted with the

youth, he doesn’t give any statistics or hard facts proving that there were more youth voting

during his generation than the youth voting now. Shirley states “they really don’t understand the

issues and they don’t care to understand.” If I was one of those people that he says didn’t

understand the issues, than I would disagree with him on the fact that he thinks the 18 and over

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youth are “too busy” to go vote. Some examples Shirley provides are that the youth are

“fascination with games like Grand Theft Auto” and that “films of people getting their heads

sawed off in Iraq are cool” and even that “taking speed, smoking pot, and partying on ‘shrooms

is an important exercise of freedom.” Shirley doesn’t need proof or evidence to show that each

one of these examples is true. The youth now are “…fascinated with the possibilities of fame”

and have become “cellphone-cyborgs…” If each of these examples shows to be true than Shirley

did not need to prove with statistics that the young do not go out and vote.

At the beginning of the article, Shirley starts out in a very subtle tone like he’s beginning

a conversation in a jokingly manner. By his third paragraph his tone changes from subtle to

annoyed and frustrated. He begins using a more vulgar tone while describing the young and

expands his vocabulary extensively. Shirley does not seem to care if he offends anyone,

especially the young as he paints a picture of them as mindless fools who care for nothing but

themselves and the next big thing. Shirley keeps his article simple with no images or special font.

He doesn’t seem to be trying to persuade others of how the young act or get any attention from

the public for the way he refers to the young. Even though Shirley is simply stating his opinions

and beliefs, these are common held beliefs amongst the general public. It would be hard for

anyone to deny these statements to be true.

On a final note, while I was reading John Shirley’s article “Disgusted with the Young:

The Reason That Matters,” I could imagined Shirley, my father, and I at lunch and Shirley was

saying everything he stated in his article to my father. Shirley knew I was sitting right there and

he knew I was listening yet he spoke about my generation with such disgust about what the

young have become as if I wasn’t even there. I feel like that was what part of his intentions on

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writing this article. He wrote the article directed towards his generation and spoke of the youth in

such a distasteful way but was also aware that the youth now would read this. He intentionally

ignored them and added the offensive language towards them to get a rise out of them and just

maybe get their attention long enough to “…understand the issues.”

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