SCHOOL OF ARCHITECTURE, BUILDING & DESIGN

Foundation of Natural Build Environment (FNBE) AUG 2014 INTAKE

ENGLISH 1 [ENGL0105 / ELG 30505]

NAME: JONATHAN LIM WEI JUN

STUDENT ID: 0321119

GROUP/SESSION: MONDAY 11AM-1PM GROUP

SUBMISSION DATE: 30TH APRIL 2015

Pre-writing: Causes why people spend too much time on computers.

SCRATCH-OUTLINE

Introduction

Welcome to the modern generation – technology has advanced – progressed into a faster lifestyle – computers - found in your personal space – also available mobile – “eyes glued to the screen” – in a day - 70% of our attention and time – especially the younger generation – causes behind this phenomenon – studies – social networking – business – games

Studies;

– Assignments (software such as Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint and etc. for more efficient progress and to achieve a better standard of work)

– Online research through the internet (search engines such as google, reference websites such as Wikipedia, blogs and websites that provide information about the subject)

Social networks;

– To keep in touch with friends (junior or high school, college, university, work. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, Skype, Tumblr, Pinterest.)

– Dating (Single people of the modern age. Find relationships online. Shy, unconfident. Several platforms that provide dating services. Online dating websites, Omegle)

Games;

– Addiction (Enjoyable entertainment, mentally stimulating, the brain releases a hormone called dopamine that drives them to continue playing the game, as the challenges diminish, they would seek an even more challenging game to play.)

– Influenced at a young age (Generation Y, as the youth now were born into a modern age, they grew up around the entertainment of computer games since they were at least a year old. A normal activity for them.)

– Prefers to stay indoors (Hot and humid weather. Reluctant to leave the house. Not active in outdoor activities. Comfort of their own homes. Entertainment is a mouse click away.)

Business

– Online shopping (Fashion apparel, delivery, specific brands would own a website, convenient for the customers. Grocery shopping, similar method. Several platforms for wider market such as Ebay, Amazon, local platform – Mudah.com.)

- Travel (Holidays. Business. Booking flights or even cruises. Overseas or domestic. Usually paid by credit card. Supposedly a short process, however, people would spend between half an hour to an hour double checking their online registration form. Cautious of invalid entry due to error in information given.)

Conclusion

In conclusion, studies, social networking, games and businesses are a few of the main causes of why a large numbers of people and children spend most of their in front of computer screens. However, it is an unhealthy activity for the body and mind too much time is spent on the computer. Hence, computers should be shut down, smart phones set aside, TVs on standby, instead enjoy what Mother Nature has to offer outside.

1. Causes of why people spend too much time on computers.

Welcome to the modern generation, as technology has advanced in the past

few years so have humans as we have progressed into a faster lifestyle. One of the

most utilised product of technology is the computer. Today, a computer can be found

in your personal space at home or carried around as a laptop to your office, school,

library and etc. However, the term “eyes glued to the screen” has become a popular

metaphor in today’s context. In a day, 70% of our attention and time is spent in front

of computers or laptops. Especially the younger generation. There are a few causes

behind this phenomenon, a few of which are education, social networking, business

and games.

Modern education has evolved from simple text books and notebooks to the

abilities of the computer. Computer software such as Microsoft Word, Excel,

PowerPoint and more. have become the new platform for doing assignment. An

example would be when you would see a student type away hours on his laptop in

the corner of Starbucks. Besides, online research through the internet has benefited

many students without a doubt. Search engines such as google, reference websites

like Wikipedia and blogs and websites that provide information about the desired

subject are all just a click away. However, due to the dense load of information

online, students would spend hours to days processing and reading the information

found online.

Social networking has become the new face of social communication.

Platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, Skype, Tumblr and

Pinterest are being used to keep ourselves updated about old friends from junior or

high school, peers from college or university, people at work and more. However,

people find these social networks addicting and spend hours on it. Online dating has

also become a viable option to many single people. Single people of the modern age

seem to have become shy and unconfident if they were to approach the opposite

sex. And the solution to that would online dating websites such as Omegle. But then

again, people take ages to find their perfect match online.

About a more serious issue would be the mental gaming addiction children

have inhibited these days. Children recognise games as an enjoyable entertainment

that is mentally stimulating. The reason why children constantly want to play games

is because the brain releases a hormone called dopamine that drives them to

continue to play more games. As the challenges in each game diminish, they would

seek an even more challenging game to play. In addition, they are influenced at a

young age as young as a year old. So much so that they are known as ‘Generation

Y’. Being born into a modern age, they grew up around the entertainment of

computer games since they were at least a year old. They consider it as a normal

activity. Furthermore, children prefer to stay indoors as the condition of the weather

outside is typically hot and humid. Reluctant to leave the house, they become

inactive in outdoor activities but instead choose the comfort of their own homes as

entertainment is a just mouse click away.

Online shopping, the future shopping trend for the future generation. People

spend hours browsing the internet for fashion apparels. As nowadays, branded

clothing lines have their own website that make shopping for their customers

convenient with the benefits of delivery services and cash on delivery payments.

Grocery shopping has also evolved in a similar manner. These are a few of the most

visited platforms by people for wider markets, Ebay, Amazon, and even the local

platform Mudah.com. Besides, people have been found travelling more with the

convenience of online registration and booking. Either for a holiday or a business trip

overseas or domestic, booking flights or even cruises had never been easier. It is

supposedly a short process, however people would spend between half an hour to

an hour double checking their online registration form as they are cautious of invalid

entry due to error in information given.

In conclusion, studies, social networking, games and businesses are a few of

the main causes of why a large numbers of people and children spend most of their

in front of computer screens. However, it is an unhealthy activity for the body and

mind too much time is spent on the computer. Hence, computers should be shut

down, smart phones set aside, TVs on standby, instead enjoy what Mother Nature

has to offer outside.

(742 words.)

MARKING CRITERIA

Descriptors Level 1 Level 2 Level 3 Level 4 Level 5 Total

Percentage 40-49% 50-59% 60-69% 70-79% 80% & above Marks

Prewriting - 10

(per paragraph)

Lack supporting details or examples

One supporting detail or example

Two supporting details or examples

3 supporting

details or examples

Good and

sequentially

developed

Unity – 10

(Structure)

Intro/Supporting

Paragraphs/ Conclusion

Essay is not assigned with the topic with

general introduction and conclusion

2 main ideas provided with general supporting ideas with general introduction and conclusion.

3 main ideas provided but they are loosely connected. Introduction with a thesis statement and a general conclusion.

Provided a thesis statement with 3 topic sentences but each paragraph contains 2 or less specific details. No recommendation for the conclusion.

Well developed introduction with a thesis statement, 3 topic sentences and 3 specific details for each paragraphs and has recommendations for the conclusion.

Support – 30 Provides general ideas with one specific detail.

Provides two specific details.

Logical progression in ideas. 3-4specific details included.

Logical progression in ideas. 5-7 specific details included.

Ideas are clear and logical. Provides 8 or more specific details with resource information.

Coherence – 30

Essays show little development or relationship among ideas.

Uses 2 or less transitional words or other word connectors. Lack of logical progression.

Uses 3 word connectors. Sequence of idea is evident.

Uses 4 word connectors. Logical progression of ideas.

Shows an in-depth understanding of topic and provides independent thought.

Sentence skills

20

Compose simple and monotonous sentences. Serious errors in choice of words and mechanics.

Compose simple sentences with numerous errors in mechanics. Appropriate choice of words.

Compound sentences with fewer errors in mechanics.

Ability to use precise choice of words.

Complex sentence structure and consistent use of mechanics.

Free from errors in sentence structure, choice of words and grammar.

REFERENCES:

Video Game Addiction. (n.d.). Retrieved June 14, 2015, from http://www.kidpointz.com/video-game-addiction/

(n.d.). Retrieved June 14, 2015, from http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/jun/05/is-my-child-spending-too-much-time-playing-video-games

What Spending Too Much Time Sitting On The Computer Is Doing To Your Health. (2015, April 27). Retrieved June 14, 2015, from http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/what-spending-too-much-time-sitting-on-the-computer-is-doing-to-your-health/

MailOnline, E. (2012, July 18). Can't tear yourself away from the computer? Too much time online can lead to stress, sleeping disorders and depression. Retrieved June 14, 2015, from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2175230/Too-time-online-lead-stress-sleeping-disorders-depression.html

The Impact of Video Games. (n.d.). Retrieved June 14, 2015, from http://www.pamf.org/parenting-teens/general/media-web/videogames.html