english level 2 presenting information clearly (in a ... · english level 2 presenting information...

English Level 2

Presenting information clearly (in a report)

FS (Present information on complex subjects clearly and concisely; Use a range of writing styles/sentence structures)

SfL (Wt/L2.2; Wt/L2.4; Wt/L2.6; Wt/L2.7)

copyright © Tribal Education Ltd 2011 1

Introduction

To present information clearly, especially on complex subjects, you will need to spend

some time planning your writing before you start. You will need to think about:

• your audience (who you are writing for)

• your purpose (why you are writing)

• what information your audience needs

• how to present the information clearly (the best order for the information)

• how to write concisely.

In this activity, you will look at how to present information clearly and concisely in a written

report.

The writing skills you will look at will also help you to write other types of text.

You will learn how to:

• plan a report (decide what information to include and how to gather it)

• present information in a report (use appropriate format and structure)

• write clearly and concisely (using correct tenses and the passive voice where

appropriate).

To complete some of the learning activities you will need to think about the purpose and

audience of different types of report. If you think you would like further help with

understanding purpose and audience generally, ask your tutor for this resource:

• Understanding the purpose of a text

You might also find the following resources helpful as they look at the reading skills you may

need to use in order to gather ideas and information for report-writing.

• Evaluating a text

• Selecting and summarising information.

• Read the introduction and the ‘learn how to’ examples carefully before you try the

practice questions.

• Use a dictionary to check the meanings of any unfamiliar words.

• When you have finished, check your answers with the ones provided on pages 18 to

21.

• If you are not sure about your answers, check with your tutor.

English Level 2





Learn how to plan a report

What information should reports include?

To decide what information should be included in a report, you need to think about purpose

and audience.

A report is a factual text that gives information about a situation. Often the situation is

problematic and the information in the report is intended to help solve the problem. For

example, an accident report for the police is an account of what a witness saw. The

information in the accident report helps the police to establish the truth about what

happened.

The purpose of a witness statement or accident report is to describe an event in order

to establish what happened. Therefore, it only needs to include factual details about

what actually happened.

The information for certain types of report is gained through some sort of investigation or

research. In this case, the report often ends by suggesting future actions that may improve

the situation or solve the problem. For example, a business might identify that recruitment

and training is costing them too much money because of a high staff turnover. They might

ask someone to investigate staff satisfaction and to recommend how they could keep staff

longer and thereby reduce the amount of money spent on recruitment and training.

The purpose of the report into staff satisfaction would be to identify causes of staff

dissatisfaction and suggest a plan of action to reduce staff turnover. It should include

reasons why staff feel unhappy or start looking for other jobs, and recommend things

the management could to improve the situation.

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Practice 1

a. Match the types of report to their most likely purpose.

Workplace incident report To review a product or compare a number of

similar products to help readers choose between

them.

Library survey report To record the details of something that happened

at work from the accounts of those involved and

eye witnesses.

Progress report for a manager To summarise opinions or information gathered

from a number of different people and recommend

action.

Website analysis report for the

website owner

To update funders or managers on what has been

done or how much has been achieved so far on a

particular project.

Consumer report for a magazine To report on usage statistics and visitor

experience, and make recommendations for

improving design and content.

b. Consider the same types of report again. What information should each report

include?

Match the types of report to the suggestions about what to include.

Workplace incident report Information about the design, content and usability,

and recommendations for improving it.

Library survey report Information that readers might want to know before

deciding whether to buy a product, such as value

for money, features and performance.

Progress report for a project

manager

Factual description of what happened (e.g. eye

witness account).

Website analysis report for the

website owner

Information about what has been achieved so far in

relation to targets.

Consumer report for a magazine Summary of people’s opinions about the service

and possibly recommendations about how to

improve.

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Gathering information for a report

Before you can write your own report, you need some information. How you get that

information will depend largely on the purpose of your report.

Look at Text A on page 6. Text A is a website analysis report for an online shopping site.

Scan the report quickly – how do you think the author obtained information for this report?

To write Text A the author probably visited the website, explored all the pages and made

notes on their experience. They may also have used software to test for accessibility or to

get statistics about loading times, search engine rankings and so on.

Other ways of gathering information that might be appropriate for some types of report

include:

• questionnaire

• witness accounts

• interviews

• observations

• product testing

• published information.

Practice 2

Consider the four types of report below. Complete the table to indicate how you

could obtain information for each type of report.

Type of report Possible source(s) of information

Incident report

Progress report

Consumer report

Library survey report

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Learn how to present information in a report

Format and structure

Reports are formal documents that need to look professional and present information in such

a way that readers can find it easily.

Reports often have the following formatting features:

• sections with headings to make it easy to see what sort of information the report

contains and to find information quickly.

• bullet points or numbering to make each point easy to see.

Numbering is often used when points needs to be listed in a particular sequence, for

example in order or priority.

Practice 3

Look at Text A on page 6. Read the report and then answer the questions below.

a. How do the headings help the reader?

b. How are the headings formatted? Why? Could any other type of formatting be used to

the same effect?

c. Where are bullet points used? Why?

d. Why did this writer use bullets and not numbers?

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Text A

Website analysis report for Freshways Organics Direct

Introduction

Freshways Organics Direct is an e-commerce website intended to complement the

company’s high street presence. This short report indicates why the website is currently

underperforming and what actions could be taken to attract more website sales.

Appearance and content

The website makes a good visual impression. Navigation is clear and there are no broken

links.

Images are clear and of good quality. However, a number of product images are missing

and some are slow to load. Occasional ‘Customer health information leaflets’ attempt to

draw attention to particular products, though new additions to the product range are not

highlighted.

Accessibility and usability

Readability of the text is good and the website meets accessibility standards. However, the

e-commerce system does not perform well from a usability point of view. Shoppers are

taken to a list of all the items they have selected every time they add an item. This can be

frustrating as they then have to navigate back to the product pages. This could be avoided

by having a small panel showing their selected items available on every page.

Search engine optimisation

Your metatag description is very readable and attractive when it is viewed among search

engine results. However, headers could be used more effectively. Current H1 are search

engine friendly, being concise and containing key words, but there are no H2 or H3. While

your paid advert ensures the site is found on rapido-search-uk, the site does not rank well in

other popular search engines.

Conclusion and recommendations

The website design is good but content and coding could be improved. We suggest:

• Consider using an SEO consultancy to improve search engine rankings. Cost could be

offset by reduced need to pay for search engine adverts.

• Ensure that all products have images and consider size and format of images to improve

loading times.

• Change or update e-commerce system to maximise accessibility.

• Consider additional ways of interacting with customers and drawing attention to new

products, offers, etc.

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Most reports follow a similar structure to the one that you can see in Text A, though they will

vary slightly depending on the type and purpose of the report. Reports usually have the

following main sections:

• Introduction

This section usually includes one or more of the following:

• what the report is about

• why the report is needed

• how the information in the report has been gathered (in a longer report, this might

form a separate section)

• what the report intends to do.

• Main body

This section details the situation or the findings of the research. The main body may be

divided into a number of headed sections. A section may consist of a single paragraph,

or it may be several paragraphs long.

• Conclusion

Reports usually end with a conclusion; this may be a series of suggested actions that

could be taken.

Practice 4

a. The following statements have been missed out of Text A. Which sections would they fit

into? Write the most appropriate section heading from Text A next to each statement.

Statement Section

Redesign e-commerce system to make it more user-friendly.

This report outlines the results of software analysis and

extensive user testing.

The ‘shopping basket’ or ‘shopping trolley’ metaphor employed

on most e-commerce sites is not used. Instead of ‘Add to

basket’, shoppers have to click on ‘Buy’, which could be off-

putting.

b. Which of the following six section headings might you expect to find in a consumer

report comparing the top two bestselling games consoles for a magazine aimed at

young people? Mark each with a tick or a cross.

Price Company info

Design and appearance Display

History of video games consoles Range of games

Accessories Verdict

Recommendations for future product development

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Learn how to write clearly and concisely

Using tenses in a report

Look at these statements from Text A on page 6:

The website makes a good visual impression.

. . . a number of product images are missing . . .

. . . the site does not rank well . . .

The verbs in these statements are in the present tense. Look at Text A again. You will find

that most of the information is given in the present tense. The writer has chosen to use the

present tense because this report describes a current situation.

Another writer might choose to write a similar report in the past tense. For example:

The website made a good visual impression.

. . . a number of product images were missing . . .

. . . the site did not rank well . . .

In this case, he or she might add ‘when tested’ or ‘as of (date)’ to indicate that the past is

being used to report a situation that was current at the time of writing or when the research

was being carried out, but which may have changed since then.

Now look at Text B on page 9. Text B is a report of a survey of library users. Notice how the

use of tense differs from that in Text A.

Text B is mainly written in the past tense. The writer of this report has chosen to use the

past, because the report discusses answers received at a particular time that is now past. If

the same questions were asked again, the answers might be different.

Note, however, that another author might chose to write a similar report in the present tense.

For example, Text B says:

The noise level was the environmental aspect that more people (28%) were

dissatisfied with. Respondents perceived unacceptable noise to come mainly from

people chatting . . .

But you could say:

The noise level is the environmental aspect that more people (28%) are dissatisfied

with. Respondents perceive unacceptable noise to come mainly from people

chatting . . .

In many types of report, either the present or the past tense may be appropriate.

English Level 2





Text B

Introduction

In November, all library users were invited to complete a short questionnaire in order to identify

aspects of the service that could be improved. A total of 376 individuals completed the survey. This

short report details the results of the survey and offers recommendations for moving forward.

Environment

Feedback about the library environment was largely positive. Users were generally happy with the

amount of light and seating and 98% felt the library was a safe and welcoming place.

The noise level was the environmental aspect that more people (28%) were dissatisfied with.

Respondents perceived unacceptable noise to come mainly from people chatting at tables, and also

from people talking over the computers. The library has already created designated quiet areas for

those who wish to read or work quietly, but some felt that these were not always recognised and that

rules were not being consistently enforced.

Resources

95% of users rated the range and number of copies of published resources as adequate or better,

interest in the availability of electronic resources has increased since last year, and particularly that

more e-books and e-journals could be made available to library members from home. The majority of

users were satisfied with the current standard and short issue loan periods.

Services

The library’s most popular service was photocopying and many users would like to see more

machines available. Computers were also popular and 31% of respondents requested that Wi-Fi be

made available throughout the library complex, including in the café and foyer areas.

The survey indicated that there was little awareness amongst users of all our services. For example,

only 60% of users knew that borrowed items could be returned to any of our sites and 20% of users

were not aware that a drop box is available on each site for returning items when the library is closed.

Opening hours always receive mixed feedback. As in previous years, some users asked for Sunday

opening, but interest in this has decreased slightly compared to last year.

Staff

86% of respondents said library staff were knowledgeable, friendly and helpful. This significant

improvement on last year (64%) perhaps reflects our investment in staff training.

Recommendations

How much we can do in response to negative feedback is always constrained by funding, but several

practical measures will be taken as a result of this survey:

1. Improve signage in quiet areas and provide adequate levels of staffing to enforce rules.

2. Consider signs throughout the library to remind users to be considerate of other members and

keep noise to a low level.

3. Consider ways of increasing awareness of under-used services.

4. Investigate technical issues and cost of making more electronic resources available from outside

the library.

5. Investigate feasibility of extending Wi-Fi access.

English Level 2





Practice 5

Which tenses might be used most in each of the following types of report?

Are there any which MUST be written in a particular tense, or do you always have a

choice?

Incident report

Progress report

Short consumer report

While it is common to use different tenses within the same piece of writing, or even within

the same sentence, it is important to do this for the right reasons, and not by accident.

Look at the following statements from Text B. They each use different tenses to indicate the

different timeframes of the actions being discussed.

Example Explanation

The majority of users were satisfied . . . The past tense is used consistently throughout

Text B to report people’s opinions at the time

of the survey (a point of time in the past).

How much we can do in response to

negative feedback is always constrained

by funding . . .

The present tense is used to mention

something that is generally true (this is not a

specific finding of one survey).

. . . several practical measures will be

taken . . .

The future refers to actions that are planned

but have not been taken yet.

English Level 2





Now consider these statements from another report. The verbs are highlighted.

Play2day is a bit more expensive than 4eva Play. At Play2day the standard child ticket costs

£4.25 and children aged 2 and under go free, while at Play4eva a child ticket was £3.95 and

little ones up to the age of 3 got in free.

The findings about charging structures at the first children’s play facility are reported in the

present tense (is, costs, go). However, the costs at the second facility are reported in the

past tense (was, got). There is no reason for the writer to switch from present to past here.

This is an easy mistake to make. Always proofread your work carefully to make sure that you

haven’t switched tense without meaning to.

Practice 6

Highlight the two verbs that are in the wrong tense in this part of a report about a

fast food outlet.

Every year a customer satisfaction survey is carried out to identify areas we need to

improve on. This year a shocking 70% of the people we surveyed were concerned

about cleanliness and hygiene. By far the most common problem concerned

cleanliness of the toilets, but a significant proportion of respondents also mentioned

dirty tables, floors and serving counters. In this year’s survey, more people also

complain about waiting times and service than in previous years, and a number of

negative comments were also received about the quality of the food.

It is possible that these problems were attributable to inadequate staffing levels or

poor training and supervision of staff, which may in turn be due to cost-cutting

exercises.

English Level 2





Using the passive voice in reports

The passive voice is a formal structure that tends to be used more often in formal written

English than in speech.

This statement is written in the passive voice:

New additions to the product range are not highlighted.

Compare this to a similar statement that does not use the passive:

The website does not highlight new additions to the product range.

The passive voice can be useful because it moves the focus away from who is doing

something. Hence, it is particularly useful when:

• we don’t need to say who did it (who did it is less important than what was done)

• we can understand who did it anyway from the context

• we want to focus on what was done, not who did it.

Look at the passive statements taken from Text B. In each case, the passive is appropriate

because the focus is on what not who.

Passive statement Comment

all library users were invited to

complete a short questionnaire

Who invited library users to complete the

questionnaire? Does it matter? We can imagine it

was ‘the library’ but this is not important. The

important point is that whoever it was invited all

library users, so the passive is appropriate here.

rules in these areas were not being

consistently enforced.

It is clear that library staff were not enforcing the

rules but stating this might sound like the writer is

blaming or accusing them, and so the passive is

an appropriate, neutral choice here.

several practical measures will be

taken as a result of this survey

Who will take practical measures? Maybe the

management or maybe the staff. Maybe different

people are responsible for different measures.

However, the important point is that measures will

be taken, so the passive is an appropriate choice

here.

Note that the passive voice is not a tense. Passive statements can be in any tense – past,

present or future.

Overusing the passive voice can make your writing less direct and less clear, so do not use

it unnecessarily.

English Level 2





This example statement from Text A does not use the passive voice:

The website makes a good visual impression.

Using the passive would not improve the clarity or style of this sentence:

A good visual impression is made by this website.

Practice 7

The statements below sound rather personal for a formal report. Change each

statement into the passive form and leave out the information about ‘who did it’ that

makes the report sound rather unprofessional and personal.

Use the example below to get you started.

My friends and I surveyed 20 people to find out their views.

Twenty people were surveyed to find out their views. (passive form)

a. I carried out this research because of concerns about road safety outside the premises.

____________________________because of concerns about road safety outside the

premises.

b. We can draw several conclusions from this research.

_______________________________________ from this research.

c. The company or the city council or someone should take action immediately to stop this

happening again.

________________________________________ to stop this happening again.

d. Every year someone in our organisation carries out a customer satisfaction survey to

identify areas we need to improve on.

Every year ____________________________________________________________

to identify areas we need to improve on.

English Level 2





Tips for writing clearly and concisely

Reports are likely to be read by busy people who need to identify key information quickly.

The structure of a report helps guide readers to the right section, but they also need to be

able to read and understand the information easily. The table below offers some tips for

writing clearly and concisely.

Tip Examples

Only include relevant information.

(Think ‘What do my readers need to

know?’)

Photocopying was the most popular service provided

by the library. I do not use the library photocopiers

myself because I have one at home but most people

do not.

Avoid using several words where

one would do.

Our product testers arrived at the conclusion

concluded that…

The reason is because…

Avoid repetition. Photocopying was the most popular service provided

by the library, and many users would like to see more

photocopier machines available.

We received some requests for Sunday opening,

however the number of people interested in Sunday

opening this has actually decreased slightly

compared to last year.

Do not write longwinded sentences. November, all library users, of which 376 responded,

were invited to complete a short questionnaire in

order to identify aspects of the service, focusing on

four areas, namely environment, resources, services

and staff, that could be improved.

In November, all library users were invited to

complete a short questionnaire in order to identify

aspects of the service that could be improved. A total

of 376 individuals completed the survey, which

focused on environment, resources, services and

staff.

English Level 2





Practice 8

Proofread the text below for clarity and conciseness. Cross out unnecessary words

and replace repetitive words. Rewrite any longwinded sentences to make them

easier to understand. Ensure that you retain all the key information.

Both auction sites have a feedback system which allows users to comment on their

experience after every business transaction. E-Hammer allows buyers to leave

positive and negative feedback for sellers and for sellers to leave positive or

negative feedback for buyers. i-Buy’s feedback system is similar in that it allows

buyers to leave positive and negative feedback for sellers. However, it is more

restrictive in so far as it does not allow sellers to write negative feedback about

buyers.

Buyers feel that feedback on e-Hammer is extremely important: 96% take feedback

comments into account before deciding whether to purchase. On the other hand,

fewer buyers on i-Buy take feedback comments into account before deciding

whether to purchase, with 40% of them relying instead on protection from the

website’s guarantee to protect them.

English Level 2





Apply your skills

You are going to write a short report.

You should start by identifying the purpose and audience, as this will inform what kind of

information you need to include.

Next, identify what kind of information you will need and how you will get it.

Some examples are given below:

Purpose and audience What information I need How will I get it?

To compare online auction

sites from the sellers’ point

of view so that potential

sellers can choose which

to use.

• Usage/popularity

statistics

• Fees

• Ease of use

• Other pros/cons

• Web statistics

• Reading blurb on the sites

• User testing (myself)

• Views of other sellers

(survey three friends who

use each site)

To investigate barriers

young people face to

participating in water

sports to make

suggestions to the city

council for improving

provision.

• Availability of water

sports – where, when,

cost etc.

• Views/attitudes of young

people who live near a

facility but do not use it

• Outdoor activity centre near

me

• Search the web for local

water sports facilities

• Interview 15 young people

who live near facilities but

do not use them

Now plan your own report that is relevant to your interests. Use the planning table below:

Purpose and audience What information I need How will I get it?

English Level 2





You could discuss your plan with your tutor before you start gathering information.

Then carry out your research.

When you come to write your report, check that you:

• use an appropriate format and structure

• use tenses appropriately

• use the passive voice when appropriate

• write clearly and concisely.

Ask your tutor to check your work.

English Level 2





Answers

Many of these are suggested answers. You might have written something different or had

another idea that is also correct. Talk to your tutor if you are confused.

Practice 1

Check your answers with the correctly matched texts below.

Type of report a. Purpose b. What information to include

Workplace

incident report

To record the details of

something that happened at

work from the accounts of those

involved and eye witnesses.

Factual description of what happened

(e.g. eye witness account).

Library survey

report

To summarise opinions or

information gathered from a

number of different people and

recommend action.

Summary of people’s opinions about

the service and possibly

recommendations about how to

improve.

Progress report

for a project

manager

To update funders or managers

on what has been done or how

much has been achieved so far

on a particular project.

Information about what has been

achieved so far in relation to targets.

Website analysis

report for the

website owner

To report on usage statistics

and visitor experience, and

make recommendations for

improving design and content.

Information about the design, content

and usability, and recommendations

for improving it.

Consumer report

for a magazine

To review a product or compare

a number of similar products to

help readers choose between

them.

Information that readers might want

to know before deciding whether to

buy a product, such as value for

money, features and performance.

English Level 2





Practice 2

Type of report Possible source(s) of information

Incident report Describe from memory what you (or another witness) saw and

heard. Evidence (e.g. photographs of damage to property or

injuries).

Progress report Records of work completed; verbal updates from colleagues.

Consumer report Published sales figures; own use (testing) of product; interviews

with people who have already bought and are using the

product(s).

Library survey Questionnaire that gathers the information required; completed

questionnaires (responses).

Practice 3

a. They help the reader know at a glance what sort of information the report includes, and

they help the reader to find information quickly.

b. The headings are in bold to make them stand out from the rest of the text. You could do

this in different ways: for example, you could use a slightly larger font. However, a report

is a formal document so it may not be so appropriate to use a very stylised font, or to use

too much colour.

c. In this report, bullets are used at the end to make it easy to see all the recommendations

that are being made as a result of the findings.

d. Perhaps these recommendations are not listed in order of priority. Numbers could be

used in a similar way but are more appropriate when the sequence is important.

Practice 4

a.

Statement Section

Redesign e-commerce system to make it more user-

friendly.

Recommendations

This report outlines the results of software analysis and

extensive user testing.

Introduction

The ‘shopping basket’ or ‘shopping trolley’ metaphor

employed on most e-commerce sites is not used.

Instead of ‘Add to basket’, shoppers have to click on

‘Buy’, which could be off-putting as they are still

choosing and not ready to pay.

Accessibility and usability

English Level 2





b.

Price � Company info �

Design and appearance � Display �

History of video games consoles � Range of games �

Accessories � Verdict �

Recommendations for future product development �

Notes: The report should focus on things young people would want to know before choosing

which console to buy, so price, design and appearance, display, range of games and

accessories are probably the most relevant sections for the body of the report. ‘Verdict’ could

be the conclusion, which suggests which one to buy depending on your circumstances

(budget and priorities).

Practice 5

Incident report Must be written using mainly past tense, because this is a

description or witness account of something that has

happened and has finished. For example, ’I saw the white van

turn the corner at high speed. Visibility was good but the road

surface was wet as it had been raining.’

Progress report This might use a range of tenses to report on different aspects

of the project, for example:

past (‘At the beginning we were delayed by . . .’)

present perfect (‘We have since made up for lost time.’)

(This tense will be useful for reporting things that have been

done so far.)

present tense to report the current situation (‘We are currently

waiting for . . .’)

Short consumer report Probably present tenses (‘The Vivizoom XD3 has more

features than the other cameras in this price range and is

competitively priced.’) However, a writer might also choose to

use the past tense to report the situation at the time of writing

(‘When tested, the Vivizoom XD3 outperformed all the other

cameras in this price range.’)

English Level 2





Practice 6

Every year a customer satisfaction survey is carried out to identify areas we need to

improve on. This year a shocking 70% of the people we surveyed were concerned

about cleanliness and hygiene. By far the most common problem concerned

cleanliness of the toilets, but a significant proportion of respondents also mentioned

dirty tables, floors and serving counters. In this year’s survey, more people also

complain about waiting times and service than in previous years, and a number of

negative comments were also received about the quality of the food.

It is possible that these problems were attributable to inadequate staffing levels or poor

training and supervision of staff, which may in turn be due to cost cutting exercises.

Practice 7

a. I carried out this research because of concerns about road safety outside the premises

. This research was carried out__because of concerns about road safety outside the

premises.

b. We can draw several conclusions from this research.

Several conclusions can be drawn _ from this research.

c. The company or the city council or someone should take action immediately to stop this

happening again.

Action should be taken immediately __ to stop this happening again.

Or Immediate action should be taken

d. Every year someone in our organization carries out a customer satisfaction survey to

identify areas we need to improve on.

Every year __a customer satisfaction survey is carried out __ to identify areas we need to

improve on.

Practice 8

Both auction sites have a feedback system which allows users to comment on their

experience after every business transaction. E-Hammer allows buyers to leave

positive and negative feedback for sellers and for sellers to leave positive or negative

feedback for buyers both buyers and sellers to leave positive and negative feedback

for each other. i-Buy’s feedback system is similar in that it allows buyers to leave

positive and negative feedback for sellers. However it is more restrictive in so far as

it does not allow sellers to write negative feedback about buyers.

Buyers feel that feedback on e-Hammer is extremely important: 96% take feedback

comments it into account before deciding whether to purchase. On the other hand,

fewer buyers who use i-Buy buyers take feedback comments into account look at

seller feedback before deciding whether to purchase, with 40% of them relying

instead on protection from the website’s guarantee to protect them.

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