essentials of good conversation

8/3/2019 Essentials of Good Conversation

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CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS

ESSENTIALS OF GOODCONVERSATION


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WHAT IS COMMUNICATION ?

Communication is the interchangeof ideas, thoughts, opinions orinformation by signs, speech or

writing. It is also an exchange offeelings and attitudes.


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EFFECTIVE

COMMUNICATIONENSURES

Better understanding of the

other persons needs andwants

Less ill feeling

Better human relations inany setting


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COMMUNICATION PROCESS

It is a two-way processand not an isolatedaction

It is a Chain of Eventsbetween the Sender &Receiver where themessage is sent across.

There is a Responsefrom Receiver throughconstant feedback


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Verbal communication

The spoken word can be:

Irresistible to me but irritating to you Easily uttered but less easily forgiven or

forgotten

Simple yet subtle in meaning Frequently abused and confused


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Vocal Communication consists of :

PITCH

TONE

VOLUMEPACE

INFLECTION


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Conversational skills

Good conversational skills requiremore than:

Good grammar and vocabulary Effective use of pitch, tone, volume, pace,

inflection


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Purposes of conversation

Pleasure of self expression

and interaction with other

people.

To get to know the other

person better

To build trust and credibilitybetween people


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The art of good conversation

Doesnt mean:

To speak in an interesting and arresting fashion To be noted for your humor

Your ability to tell stories

Your general knowledge of a variety of subjects

That you should dominate, control or always be

right


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The art of good conversation

Centers on:

Your ability to ask questions and to listen

attentively to the answers

Not monopolizing the conversation

Never doing or saying anything that could hurt or

offend

Making the interaction enjoyable The 3Cs: caring, courtesy, consideration


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The Golden Rule

Treat other people the way you would likethem to treat you.


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CONVERSATION FLOW

Greeting

Opening

Listening

Getting facts right/Paraphrasing

Questioning/Seeking clarification

Reaching a decision/Agreement Closing


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Greeting Friends and GreetingStrangers

Friends

Greeting:

How are you? Fine, thanks. Im verywell.

Conversation starters:

How are things? Not too bad.

Hows it going? Great.

Lovely weather! Yes, it is.

Hows work? Ok/Fine/Not too bad.

I havent seen you No, Ive been busy/away.

for a while.


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Meeting friends

Conversation closers:

See you soon/later. Goodbye/Bye.I must be going. See you soon.

Ill be in touch. Bye for now.


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Greeting strangers

Introduction

May/Can I introduce myself/my Nice to meetcolleague you.

Greeting

How do you do? * How do you do?

Pleased to meet you. Glad to meet you too.

*common English greeting when you meet someone for thefirst time and is generally accompanied with a firmhandshake.


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Meeting strangers

Conversation starters

Have you been here long? No, Ive just arrived.

Have you been here before? No, this is my first visit.

Lovely weather. Yes, marvelous, isnt it?

Conversation closers

(Im) glad/pleased to have (Its) nice to have met

met you. you too.

Its been very interesting If youre ever intalking to you. ______, you mustget in touch.


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ARE YOU LISTENING ?

HEARING is passive : it is a physiological

process whereby auditory impressions arereceived by your ears and transmitted to your

brain.

LISTENING is active. It is an activity that

involves interpreting and understanding the

significance of the sensory or hearing

experience.


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Empathetic Listening

Listen to understand rather than to reply.

Seek first to understand, then to be

understood. Putting yourself in the other persons shoes

seeing things from the speakers point of view.

Use positive body language to show listening.


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How to show youre listening

Purpose Appropriate Phrase

To show concern Oh, really?

To show disbelief No way! I cantbelieve this! Youre

joking!

To congratulate Great! Glad to hear it!

Congratulations!Goodfor you!


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How to show youre listening

Purpose Appropriate Phrase

To admire Beautiful, Wonderful,

Great

To agree Sure, Right, Yes

To encourage Go on, And, Then?

To show attention I see, All right, Mm


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Keys to Effective Listening

Stop Talking ! You cant listen if youretalking

Put the speaker at ease (nod, smile,make eye contact, agree with theperson)

Be attentive - show that you want to

listen (lean slightly forward, face theperson directly)

Remove distractions


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Keys to Effective Listening

Be patient. Dont rush, dont interrupt.

Ask questions for clarification.

Dont argue. That only puts the speaker onthe defensive.

Paraphrase the speakers words. Thisshows that you are genuinely payingattention.


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Courtesy and politeness

while asking questions

Avoid asking questions that begin with

why Be aware of your vocal tone when asking

questions

Use phrases like please and thank you

May rather than Can


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Be a Good Conversationalist

Maintain eye contact.

Listen to others; do not interrupt or finishanother's statement.

Be well informed; be able to talk on a wide rangeof subjects.

Stay informed on the major news happenings ofthe world.

Do not pretend to be an expert on topics that

you are not. Be able to flow from one topic to another with

ease.


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Be interested in what other people do for aliving.

Do not correct another's grammar orpronunciation in public.

Gracefully accept any compliments given to you.

If you are extending a compliment; always besincere.

Be sure to converse with everyone within the

group. Be sensitive to a shy person within the group.


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Keep the conversation flowing, try to avoid an awkwardsilence.

Be diplomatic in situations where you are too busy tocarry on a conversation. (I would really like to continue

this conversation, but I have to go/do/meet right now.Could we meet again later?)

Do not ask a professional for advice or information at asocial function or casual meeting.

Topics to keep away from:

Health or illness Sensitive topics (salary, sex, religion, marital status,etc.)

Gossip

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