evantell webinar slides_100113.ppt

2013 National Fatherhood Initiative1

EvanTell & NFI present:

Generational Transformation

Using Mom as Gateway™ in Pregnancy Centers

2013 National Fatherhood Initiative

your LIFE work…

And think more about it as promoting…

Life ABUNDANT!The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10

I want you to re-think …

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I attended either the PRC’s on the Frontlines of Restoring Fatherhood, Restoring Families webinar on September 24th and/or the workshop Reaching Men at the recent Care Net Conference in Denver?

Yes No

POLL

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© EvanTell, 2013.

The Lord’s Network™ for At-Risk Families

The Lord is Building a Safety Net for At-Risk Families Nationwide

Training and Equipping the Body of Christ

To Share The Gospel. Clearly and Simply.

Online

for Life

750+ faith-based

Pregnancy

Centers

The Local Church

Save the Mother, Save Her Child®

Partners Equipping the Body of Christ to Serve Families Nationwide

Reaching at-risk families – helping them choose life – equipping them for abundant life!


Poll:

What statement best represents your relationship with your father either past or present?

A. It is/was great! He was/is involved, responsible, and committed to me.

B. He was a good dad – but wish it was moreC. He was not a good fatherD. I knew who he was, but I didn’t know him- he

doesn’t know meE. Didn’t know him/don’t know who he is


Message:

EVERYONE HAS A FATHER STORY


Stages of Adoption

Awareness I know there is a problem.

Interest I want to find out more.

Decision I have to do something.

Implementation This is what I am going to do.


Overview of the Workshop

About Generational Transformation About NFI Why fathers matter Defining “gateway and gatekeeper” What is Maternal Gatekeeping? Behavioral Aspects, Reasons and Affects of Maternal

Gatekeeping Mom as Gateway™ Workshop Content Strategies for getting moms involved in your

fatherhood involvement efforts Comments & Questions


For the Moms Mom as Gateway™

Maternal Gatekeeping Involving Moms in Involving Dads

________________________________________________

For the Dads DoctorDad® Workshops

Building Skills 24/7 Dad Power Hour™

Building Hearts

Generational Transformation:

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NFI is a non-profit, non-partisan organization that was founded in 1994 to begin a society-wide movement to renew fatherhood in America.

National Fatherhood Initiative Mission:

To improve the well-being of children by increasing the

proportion of children with involved, responsible, and committed

fathers in their lives.

EducateEducate and inspire all Americans, especially

fathers, through public awareness campaigns,

research, and other resources.

Equip Equip fathers & develop leaders of national,

state, and community fatherhood initiatives

through curricula, training, and technical

assistance.

EngageEngage every sector of society through

strategic alliances and partnerships.

NFI’s Mission is carried out using a “Three E” Strategy

Who Is NFI?


NFI, continued

Key Message:Fathers are Irreplaceable & an Essential Ingredient for Child Well-Being


So, What Areas do Fatherlessness Impact?

Poverty Emotional/Behavior Maternal and Child health Crime/Incarceration Sexual Activity and Teen Pregnancy Child Abuse Child Obesity Education


Impact on Maternal and Child Health: Babies with a father’s name on the birth certificate are 4 times

more likely to live past 1 year of age! Source: Alio, A.P., Mbah, A.K., Kornosky, J.L., Marty, P.J. & Salihu, H.M. "The Impact of Paternal Involvement

on Feto-Infant. Morbidity among Whites, Blacks, and Hispanics". Matern Child Health J. 2010; 14(5): 735-41

Infant mortality rates are 1.8 times higher for infants of unmarried mothers than for married mothers.

Source: Matthews, T.J., Sally C. Curtin, and Marian F. MacDorman. Infant Mortality Statistics from the 1998 Period Linked Birth/Infant

A study of 2,921 mothers revealed that single mothers were twice as likely as married mothers to experience a bout of depression in the prior year. Single mothers also reported higher levels of stress, fewer contacts with family and friends, less involvement with church or social groups and less overall social support.

Source: Cairney, John and Michael Boyle et al. “Stress, Social Support and Depression in Single and Married Mothers.” Social. Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology 38 (August 2003): 442-449


Impact on Teen Pregnancy & Sexual Activity: Being raised by a single mother raises the risk of teen pregnancy, marrying

with less than a high school degree, and forming a marriage where both partners have less than a high school degree.

Source: Teachman, Jay D. “The Childhood Living Arrangements of Children and the Characteristics of Their Marriages.” Journal of Family Issues 25 (January 2004): 86-111.

...adolescents in father-absent homes were more likely to report being sexually active compared to adolescents living with their fathers...the study also revealed a statistical significance between father absence and adolescent self-esteem

Source: Hendricks, C. S., Cesario, S. K., Murdaugh, C., Gibbons, M. E., Servonsky, E. J., Bobadilla, R. V., Hendricks, D. L., Spencer-. Morgan, B., & Tavakoli, A. (2005). The influence of father absence on the self-esteem and self-reported sexual activity of rural. Southern adolescents. ABNF Journal, 16, 124-131.): 442-449

...based on the study, findings, the inability to bond in satisfactory ways with a father or father figure may result in earlier onset of sexual activity and the higher risk of teen pregnancy.

Source: Burn, V. E. (2008). Living without a strong father figure: A context for teen mothers’ experience of having become sexually active. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 29, 279–297.


Children in father-absent homes are two to five times more likely to: live in poverty fail in school develop emotional or behavioral problems abuse drugs be abused and neglected become involved in crime commit suicide

Why Fathers Matter

> The Consequences of Father Absence

> The Benefits of Father Involvement

Children with involved fathers are more likely to have:

better cognitive outcomes, even as infants

higher self-esteem and less depression as teenagers

higher grades, test scores, and overall academic achievement

lower levels of drug and alcohol use

higher levels of empathy and other pro-social behavior


NFI’s National Surveys


There is a father absence crisis...


… But Dads are Seen as “Replaceable”

What moms

think…


Do Dads Have the Skills?

• Over half of dads feel they are replaceable.

• Only half of dads reported that they felt ready to be fathers when they first became

fathers.

• Only a third of dads strongly agree with the statement that they have all the necessary

skills and knowledge to be good fathers.

What Dads think…

2006 Pop’s Culture: A National Survey of Dads’ Attitudes on Fathering


Do Dads Have the Skills? (cont.)

• Moms not living with dads reported “lack of knowledge about

how to be a good dad” as the biggest obstacle to good fathering

and “lack of parenting resources designed specifically for

fathers” as 3rd highest. These obstacles ranked 3rd and 4th for

moms overall!

• Moms not living with dads were very dissatisfied with dad’s

performance…

2009 Mama Says: A National Survey of Mothers’ Attitudes on Fathering

What Moms think…


Moms and Dads Disagree on Obstacles

What Dads Overall Think The Obstacles Are

1. Work responsibilities

2. Media/popular culture

3. Financial problems

4. Lack of knowledge

5. Child’s mother*

What Moms Overall Think The Obstacles Are

1. Work responsibilities

2. Dad’s relationship with own dad

3. Lack of knowledge

4. Lack of parenting resources for dads

5. Lack of support from relatives/friends


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NRFCBI Logic Model

Barriers to EngagementStudies suggest that fathers are not engaged in child welfare processes because:

Child welfare agencies have a history of being primarily mother focused Some child welfare caseworkers view involving fathers as complicated and

burdensome Child welfare agencies are hesitant or fear involving fathers with a history of

domestic violence because their engagement may compromise mothers’ and children’s safety

Sources: Dungee Greene, A. & Anderson Moore, K. “Nonresident Father Involvement and Child Well-Being among Young Children in Families on Welfare.: Marriage & Family Review, 29(2/3), 2000, 159-180; Franck, E. “Outreach to Birthfathers of Children in Out of Home Care.” Child Welfare, 80(3) 2001,381-399; Malm, Murray & Geen, 2006; O’Hagan, K. “The Problem of Engaging Men in Child Protection Work.” British Journal of Social Work, 27(1), 1997,25-42.


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NRFCBI Logic Model

Barriers to EngagementStudies suggest that fathers are not engaged in child welfare processes because:

Child welfare caseworkers may view fathers as insignificant to the family unit, or may avoid fathers out of fear of violent reactions, or have a general distrust of men

Some fathers need assistance with parenting skills before assuming a more prominent role in their children’s lives

Some out-of-State fathers cannot access reliable transportation

Sources: Dungee Greene, A. & Anderson Moore, K. “Nonresident Father Involvement and Child Well-Being among Young Children in Families on Welfare.: Marriage & Family Review, 29(2/3), 2000, 159-180; Franck, E. “Outreach to Birthfathers of Children in Out of Home Care.” Child Welfare, 80(3) 2001,381-399; Malm, Murray & Geen, 2006; O’Hagan, K. “The Problem of Engaging Men in Child Protection Work.” British Journal of Social Work, 27(1), 1997,25-42.


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NRFCBI Logic Model

Barriers to EngagementThe Quality Improvement Center on Non-Resident Fathers (QIC-NRF) conducted numerous focus group and interviews with child welfare professionals, asking them what their barriers to father engagement were. They said:

Lack of training for child welfare professionals Unfriendly “father” environment Lack of interagency collaboration to locate fathers (e.g. child support agency connections Lack of policy/procedures to help identify, locate, and contact fathers Worker reluctance to contact fathers Feeling that it makes case management more difficult Mothers act as “gatekeepers” Fathers don’t want to be contacted Protecting informal support arrangement Domestic violence issues Don’t know the father’s identity


Barriers to Engagement:

What are the possible barriers in pregnancy centers?

Men in the center? (what is the message—are all men unsafe?)

Are we waiting for all things to fall in place? (will that ever happen?)

Are assumptions for what is best correct?

Wasting God given opportunities?

Can’t get male volunteers

Have male volunteers- don’t know what to do with them

Can’t get men/dads in the center

Have men/dads but don’t know what to do with them

Maternal Gatekeeping


New or Expectant Fathers say...

My dad was never there. I want to be there for my kids. I realize the impact that my father had on me. Even though he

wasn’t there, he made a huge impact on my life- he left a lot of questions unanswered.

I’m here because I want to do things right! I want to give my child the one thing I never had, an involved

father! I want to get this one right! A Careerbuilder.com survey of 1521 working dads in 2007

indicated that 38 percent would take a pay cut to spend more time with their children


Defining Terms:

Gateway: an opening to a main entrance or exit way.

Gatekeeper: a person who controls access.

Merriam Webster’s Definitions


What Is Maternal Gatekeeping?

Refers to a mother’s protective beliefs about the desirability of a father’s involvement in their child’s life, and the behaviors acted upon that either facilitate or hinder collaborative childrearing between the parents.


Maternal Gatekeeping (cont’d) Another Definition

A collection of beliefs and behaviors that may inhibit a collaborative effort between men and women in family work.

Behaviors Assume primary responsibility for

childrearing tasks. Criticize the father’s actions when he

is involved.


Behavioral Aspects

How the mother speaks about the father in the presence of their child

To what extent the father is included or updated on the child’s health, schooling or social life

The extent to which the mother communicates to the father that she knows what is best for their child and the correct way to do things—while he does not.

An example from a “fatherhood expert”: Dads Doing Good- Mobile Library

Dad's Doing Good/Honda Odyssey/ Mobile Library

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IavzxaDISyQ&list=PLvVsfWgZ5EIPXiPusVBfLZQVPEW5Gp3g0


Reasons for Maternal Gatekeeping

Difficulty relinquishing familial responsibility Validation of her identity as the “mother” Age of the child View the father as incompetent or even dangerous to the

child Based on actual evidence; or On personal perceptions of him and his failures

in the male familial role Don’t know? – Do know?

JackieBrewtonhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIp-muJskvs

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIp-muJskvs



Affects of Maternal Gatekeeping

The ability of the child to adjust to parental divorce or separation is weakened

Can damage the father-child relationship Can damage the parents’ ability to cooperate and

keep their conflict levels low and out of the child’s earshot or awareness

Threat to the overall well-being and adjustment of the child

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Dr. Kyle Pruett Study

Mothers hold infants 9 out 10 times in the same position. Fathers hold infants10 out of 10 times in different positions.

During play with children, mothers use external objects (ex., toys, books, balls) but fathers use their bodies.

When children encounter novel situations, fathers are generally 3 times the distance away from mothers’ position.

DIFFERENT- NOT BETTER!


Behavioral Aspects

Studies have demonstrated that when mothers perceived their partners as motivated and competent to engage in child care responsibilities, fathers were more involved in childcare.


Research

Overall, the implication is that the relationship between father’s perceived investment in their actual levels of paternal involvement are moderated by mothers beliefs about the role of the father.

There is a strong implication that mothers perceptions of the paternal role are better predictors of father involvement than fathers’ own perceptions of the paternal role.

Paternal Identity, Maternal Gatekeeping, and Father Involvement (Family Relations, 54 (July 2005), 360- 372.Blackwell Publishing.)


Things to include when addressing Gatekeeping:

Increase mothers’ awareness of what gatekeeping is, how it operates, and how it is sometimes misused out of anger and hurt

Offer concrete examples that will facilitate mothers’ understanding of the negative impact of excessive gatekeeping and the importance of supporting father involvement (one hand)

Engage mothers in exercises that will facilitate the reduction of restrictive maternal gatekeeping behaviors that inhibit father engagement.

Great to have staff go through the same exercises as part of professional development


I have purchased and downloaded the Mom As Gateway program for today’s webinar?

Yes No

POLL

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Mom as Gateway™ Workshop Objectives of Workshop

Increase mother’s awareness of what gatekeeping is, how it operates, and how it is sometimes misused out of anger or hurt

Offer concrete examples that will facilitate mothers’ understanding of negative impact of excessive gatekeeping and importance of supporting father involvement

Engage mothers in exercises that will facilitate the reduction of restrictive maternal gatekeeping behaviors that inhibit father engagement.

In PRC’s- help women confront their decisions


Mom as Gateway™ Workshop

Contents: Three 90 minute sessions

1. The Role of the Gatekeeper2. Power & Control in Relationships between Men & Women3. Minimize Excessive Gatekeeping

Can be used as stand alone workshop or Ideal companion to other programs such as NFI’s

24/7 Dad®, Doctor Dad®, or other father programs.



Each session will lay out what is needed for

preparation and set up.

Activity and Time

Session Goal is always listed

Step by Step Procedures



Adaptable Alternative scenarios



Each session has 3-4 activities



Each session has 3-4 activities and

notes to facilitators



Each session will have a closing activity



Each new session will have a ‘check in’ from the

previous session


Tool Box Strategies Conduct Father Friendly Check Up Develop a Strategic Plan Keep focus on the Child well being Ask about dads’ involvement during initial intake

process with moms- Pursue! Ask! Use Mom As Gateway™ workshop Use Understanding Dad™ program Create opportunities for dads and their kids to do

activities together and market to moms as a “Mom’s Day Off”

Offer sessions to staff on gender and parenting differences between moms and dads

Offer sessions to moms on gender and parenting differences between moms and dads


Tool Box StrategiesCreate or partner with a resource center for Child Care options in your community

What is available in the local churches? Church members? Other Moms? There are a number of great online resources for Parents and Providers:

Federal Office of Child Care http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/occ has: Resources for Providers Learn what providers should know about child care assistance for families. Learn about funding to help start or improve a child care program Receive funding to serve children from low-income families Resources for Parents Find good quality child care Find help to pay for child care Find your local Head Start program Health and safety regulations for child care programs in your State Report child abuse and neglect

BabyCenter.com ChildCareAware.org Kidshealth.org Zerotothree.org Federal Office of Head Start http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/ohs/

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/occ



http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/ohs/


Can’t BE what you don’t SEE Increasing the skills of the dad, increases the dad’s

confidence as a father. Increasing the skills of the dad, increases the mom’s

confidence in him! Essential Communication Skills Domestic Violence Prevention

Build up Dad’s Skills

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Tool Box Strategies

Plan activities that will engage dads’ interest Small groups Fatherhood Resource Centers Provide, refer, or connect dads to other

father programs (partners) Sports related Hands-on


Awareness of Barriers to Teen Population

Teen Parents have a myriad of complicated issues that might impact their level of involvement.

Practitioners should educate themselves on the issues of the teen parent population. Issues such as, housing, access and visitation, generational gatekeeping*, just to name a few. *Moms of moms


Recruiting and Retaining Teen Fathers

Any effort to recruit the interest of teen dads should start with an assessment of your programs father friendliness.

Establish Trust Provide practical help at the onset to include not just

parenting education; but counseling, career development etc. wrap around services

Communication and Co-parenting education Recruit male volunteers as mentors and workshop

facilitators/counselors.


For the Moms Mom as Gateway™

Maternal Gatekeeping Involving Moms in Involving Dads

________________________________________________

For the Dads DoctorDad® Workshops

Building Skills 24/7 Dad Power Hour™ Building Hearts


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EvanTell/NFI Webpage:http://store.fatherhood.org/t-evantell.aspxVideos:Sav-A-Life PRC: A Day in the Life of Fatherhood Coordinator Russell Worrell https://vimeo.com/63608955NFI/Honda Odyssey- Dads Doing Good http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IavzxaDISyQ&list=

PLvVsfWgZ5EIPXiPusVBfLZQVPEW5Gp3g0Jackie Brewton- Teen Abstinence Speaker http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIp-muJskvs (Men Ain't Boys) (2:41) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCsD5AqkPj8 (Males vs Men) (4:13) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p4BOxC5CSE&list=PLE093E674BB836269 (Basketball star) (4:00)

Resources:

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http://store.fatherhood.org/t-evantell.aspx



https://vimeo.com/63608955






http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCsD5AqkPj8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p4BOxC5CSE&list=PLE093E674BB836269


"He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers...”

Malachi 4:6


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Comments- Questions ?

Thank You!

Ave Mulhern

240-912-1265

[email protected]

Make sure to check out the EvanTell webpage


mailto:[email protected]

