Everyone CommunicatesFew Connect

John C. Maxwell

10 Principles for Connecting with Others

Influences Situations

Others Focused

Goes Beyond Words

Requires Energy

RequiresSkills

Common Ground

Keep it Simple

Create Enjoyable Experience

Inspires

Leads by Example

1. Connecting increase your

influence in EVERY situation!

Key Concept

The smaller the group, the more important it is to connect.

One-to-One Connections

Group Connection

s

AudienceConnections

One-to-One Connections

• 80 to 90 percent of connections are on this level.

• Talk more about the other person than yourself.

• Bring something of value to give to someone when you get together.

• At the end of a conversation, ask what you can do to help them and follow through. Acts of servanthood have a greater impact and last longer than words.

Group Connections

• Look for ways to compliment people in the group for their ideas and actions.

• Look for ways to add value to people in the group and what they are doing.

• Don’t take credit when the group succeeds and don’t cast blame when it fails.

• Find ways to help the group celebrate successes together.

Audience Connections

• Let your listeners know that you are excited to be with them.

• Communicate that you desire to add value to them.

• Let them know how they or their organization add value to you.

• Tell them that your time with them is your highest priority that day.

2. Connecting is all about OTHERS!

Key Concept

One-to-One Applications

Group Applications

AudienceApplications

Connecting begins when the other person feels valued.

One-to-One Connections

• Know what they value by being a good listener.

• Find out why they value those things by asking questions.

• Share your own values that are similar to theirs.

• Build your relationship on those common values.

Group Connections

• Discover and identify the strength of each person.

• Acknowledge the value of each person’s strength and potential contribution.

• Invite input and allow people to lead in their area of strength.

Audience Connections

• Express your appreciation for them and the occasion as soon as possible.

• Do something special for them, if you can, by preparing unique content for them and letting them know you have done so.

• See everyone in the audience as a “10,” expecting a great response from them.

3. Connecting goes beyond words!

Key Concept

The more you do to go beyond words, the greater the chance you will connect with

people.

One-to-One Applications

Group Applications

AudienceApplications

One-to-One Connections

• Connect visually by giving the other person your complete attention. See the other person’s heart and show them yours.

• Connect intellectually by asking questions, listening carefully, and also paying attention to what isn’t being said.

• Connect emotionally through appropriate touch (be sure to honor boundaries).

Group Connections

• Connect visually by setting the example.

• Connect intellectually by investing in people’s growth.

• Build on what they understand so they can develop to a higher level.

• Connect emotionally by honoring the group’s effort and rewarding its work.

Audience Connections

• Connect visually by smiling.

• Let people know you are happy to be communicating with them.

• Connect intellectually by pausing periodically to give the audience time to think about something you’ve said.

• Connect emotionally through facial expressions, laughter, and tears.

4. Connecting always requires energy!

Key Concept

The larger the group, the more energy that’s required to connect.

One-to-One Applications

Group Connections

AudienceApplications

One-to-One Connections

• Write down significant things that happen to you during the day.

• For important things, share the specifics with no one else before you share with that person.

• Take time each day to go over your lists with each other, which requires being intentional and energy.

Group Connections

• Introduce yourself to each person before the session begins.

• Discover something unique about each person.• Give the group ownership over the meeting.• Try to serve the group.• Draw people into the discussion by telling other

about their uniqueness and how it relates to the subject.

• Find out how you can help them be successful.

Audience Connections

• The larger the crowd, the more energy you should have.

• The audience it there to receive and not give energy.

• Be confident, passionate, prepared and positive and you will bring energy to the audience.

5. Connecting is more skill than natural talent!

Key Concepts

The skills learned at one level can be used to start connecting at the next level.

One-to-One Applications

Group Connections

AudienceApplications

One-to-One Connections

• Have interest in the person.

• Place value on that person.

• Give his or her interest priority.

• Express gratitude to and for that person.

Group Connections

• Show interest in each person of the group by asking them questions.

• Place value on each person of the group and point out that value to the others.

• Make it your goal to add value to everyone in the group.

• Let others in the group know your intentions.• Express your gratitude to each person publicly.

Audience Connections

• Show interest in the audience by meeting them before you speak, when possible.

• Let people know that you value them by preparing the session especially for them.

• Let the people know you are there to serve them.

• Express gratitude to them and thank them for their time.

6. Connectors connect on common ground!

Key Concepts

Know the reasons you and your listener(s) want to communicate and build a bridge

between those reasons.

One-to-One Applications

Group Connections

AudienceApplications

One-to-One Connections

• Finding common ground is knowing how to make the interactions beneficial for both of you.

• Ask questions to discover common ground.

• Share stories, emotions, and offer lessons learned from experience to build bridges to common ground.

• Do something together that you both enjoy.

Group Connections

• Ask yourself, “what brought us together?”

• Ask yourself, “what is the goal that we all have?”

• Acknowledge everyone’s differences and their ability to contribute to the common goal by using their unique skills.

• Remind the group that the goal is more important that each individual role.

Audience Connections

• Use the feel, felt, found, find method.• Feel- try to sense what the audience feels

and acknowledge and validate those feelings.

• Felt- share with them that you have felt the same way.

• Found- share with them what you found that has helped you.

• Find- offer to help them find help for their lives.

7. Connectors do the difficult work of keeping it

simple!

Key Concept

The larger the group, the simpler the communication needs to be.

One-to-One Applications

Group Connections

AudienceApplications

One-to-One Connections

• Read the persons expression to see if you have communicated clearly.

• Answer any questions the person may have.

• You have a better chance of communicating when the person understands what you are saying.

Group Connections

• Ask for feedback.

• Ask people in the group to share what they have learned.

• Ask the group to tell how they are going to pass what you’ve said to others.

Audience Connections

• Ask yourself, “what are the essentials to communicate for people to understand” and “how few of those points will make the event memorable?”

• Share your vision with a single person to see how well they respond then share it will a small group and receive input from them.

8. Connectors create an experience everyone

enjoys!

Key Concept

Work to create the right experience for your communication setting.

One-to-One Applications

Group Connections

AudienceApplications

One-to-One Connections

• Honest communication creates a connection that benefits both parties.

• Work to create an enjoyable experience by asking questions, using humor, or telling stories.

Group Connections

• If you help people have a sense of shared accomplishment, the participants will feel connected to each other.

• Ask the group to accomplish an enjoyable task together.

• Make sure everyone gets involved.

Audience Connections

• Audiences want to be entertained.

• Use stories during the presentation.

• During your story, show enthusiasm, animation, spontaneity, humor, and allow audience to participate.

9. Connectors inspire people!

Key Concepts

What people remember most is how you make them feel.

One-to-One Applications

Group Connections

AudienceApplications

One-to-One Connections

• Character is what will make the biggest impression on people.

• Qualities that help people feel connected:– A heart to serve– A person of good values– A helping hand– A caring spirit– A believing attitude

Group Connections• People want to know:

– That you will lead by example.– That you will only ask them to do what you

have done or are willing to do.– That you will teach them to do what you have

done.– That their success is more important to you

than your success.– That they will get credit for their

accomplishments.– That you will celebrate their successes.

Audience Connections• If the audience feels good, they feel

connected.• Connect on an emotional level by:

– Show that you want to and are enjoying being there.

– Show that you are friendly.– Show that you are authentic and vulnerable

and not perfect.– Show that you are conversing with them.– Show that you believe in them and they can

believe in themselves.

10. Connectors live what they communicate!

Key Concept

The only way to keep connecting with people is to live what you communicate.

One-to-One Applications

Group Connections

AudienceApplications

One-to-One Connections

• More than 90% of communications occurs on this level.

• Ask yourself:– Does my character emphasize what I say or

undermine it?– Does my character help me keep and follow

through on my promises or work against me?– Where do I need to improve?

Group Connections

• People in your group are watching your example, performance, and teamwork.

• Ask yourself:– Am I doing what I ask others to do?– Can people depend on my performance and

willingness to put the team first?

• Make necessary changes to improve your credibility.

Audience Connections

• Create authenticity in your communication.

• Be vulnerable and let people know the real you.

Thought

Connecting with others is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your

influence with them.

The ability to connect with others begins with understanding the value of people.

You attitude often speaks louder than words.

The greatest problem in communication is the illusion that is has been accomplished.

Intentionally include others in your best experiences and favorite things, you would

become a much better connector overnight.