VOLUME 17, ISSUE 7

July 2011 TODAY �EWSLETTER OF SAI�T LOUIS BI-STATE I�TERGROUP

Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings. In Step Seven, we humbly ask a power greater than ourselves to remove our shortcomings. As with all of the steps, I gain a better understanding of what I need to do by exploring the step through writing. Here is a helpful writing exercise that deepened my comprehension of and increased my willingness to work Step Seven.

My sponsor suggested that for each character defect, I should come up with a positive word or phrase that fits as the positive alternative to the defect. Then, I should list what kinds of actions cultivate those positive behaviors. For example, a recurrent character defect is perfectionism. Its positive alternative would be acceptance of what is.

Behaviors that lead to acceptance include reading the acceptance paragraph in the Big Book: “Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today….” recalling the insane consequences of perfectionist behavior, and replacing negative self-talk with “I am okay; I am human; I learn as I make mistakes.” Another character defect of mine is pessimism. Its alternative is hope and a positive outlook. I cultivate these attitudes by making gratitude lists, remembering that growth is a process that involves setbacks, and acknowledging that negativity will increase in my “magic magnifying mind.”

At first, this writing assignment seemed at odds with how I first interpreted Step Seven. Am I not trying to take care of my defects of character by myself if I try and replace them with their alternatives? Doesn’t Step Seven say that HP is going to do that, not me? Herein lies one of the many paradoxes of the program. I am asked to turn over my will and my life, enlarge my spiritual life and let go. What I am not asked to do, however, is roll over and passively wait for a divine intervention that fixes what’s broken. I tried working the program that way for many months, and ended up rolling over—in a fetal position in bed, hungover from food abuse. So, when I humbly ask HP to remove my perfectionism and pessimism, for example, I get willing to try behaviors that may look and feel weird, but which end up being part of my recovery process. The Seventh Step prayer, found on page 76 in the Big Book, is a starting point: “HP, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding.” This prayer gets me ready to have my character defects replaced with qualities that will better serve the world around me. -Anonymous Editor’s Note: The Acceptance Prayer can be found in Alcoholics Anonymous, also known as the Big Book, on page 449 in the third edition and page 418 in the fourth edition.

Every OA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. When I read this tradition, I thought about all of the "outside contributions" I used to depend on: alcohol, cigarettes, food, etc. I was bringing in all of this stuff, letting it all take turns supporting me, causing confusion and turmoil. When I started program I learned to be self-supporting, depending on my HP, who I call God, who is my inner support. That doesn't mean that I don't depend on my fellow program members.

We need to be a self supporting group, while supporting each other at the same time. Monetary contributions are important, as well as supporting the group with service. Alcoholics Anonymous: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions mentions “being as tight as bark on a tree.” As I let self seeking slip away, I can feel myself loosening up and being more willing to do service, to give of myself instead of being "tight." It feels much more comfortable. When your group needs some support, go for it! -Tamara T.

Convention Quips 2

Body Image and Sexuality: Welcome to Your Body, Welcome Home

3

Inside Our Intergroup 4

Announcements 4

Public 4

Inside this issue:

Step Seven

Tradition Seven

Recovery Opportunities Intergroup: July 10 at 1:30 p.m. St. Louis Bi-State Intergroup at Missouri Baptist Hospital at 3015 North Ballas Road, Nurses’ Institute Building. All are welcome to attend.

Super Saturday: July 23, "Freedom from Food Obsession." SSM St. Joseph Health Center, 300 First Capital Drive, St. Charles, 63301. Registration at 9 a.m.; program from 9:30 to noon. Hosted by the St. Charles Big Book Study group. For more information, call Betty S., 636.751.3964.

Super Saturday: Aug. 13, Concord Trinity United Methodist Church, 5275 S. Lindbergh, 63126. Registration at 9 a.m.; program from 9:30 - 12:30. Hosted by the "New Me" Tuesday afternoon group. Please enter through first floor office door and follow the signs to Trinity Hall on lower level. Since there is no Intergroup meeting in August, groups can pick up newsletter packets at this event. For more information, call Jeanine M. 314.631.5023.

Fall Retreat: Body Image and Sexuality: Welcome to Your Body, Welcome Home. Save the date! October 28-30 (Halloween weekend)

2011 Convention Quips:

The following comments are in response to the March, 2011 OA Convention held in Earth City . What a wonderful way to get lots of program and catch up with extended family. –Connie Because of this program, I am alive today. Whether I sit in meetings or at this registration table, I am part of this family. Thank you all! -Barb M. This has been a great way for me to listen to what my HP has to say to me and to see old friends. -Marysia It is truly rewarding to come to convention! The talks, speakers, and all attending have been gifts to me. The ambiance was tremendous. -Lillian B. Wonderful fellowship and refreshment of program. Couldn’t have asked for a more festive atmosphere. -Amy G. Admitting allows God to work. Today, I am ready to admit my resentments. I am ready to allow God to work in my life. The OA convention is helping me to leave a legacy of hope for my kids. -Melissa B. It’s a relief to know that those with rocky histories with God are welcome at OA. -Jeanette O. It was a great convention. A lot of solid recovery here. -Lynette I identified a lot with what was said. I met some really wonderful people. Thank you for putting on the convention. –Heather The convention gave my program a huge shot in the arm. Looking forward to more recovery. -Kate M. The “Secrets of the Big Book” was an awesome workshop and gives me the desire to make outreach calls. -Cyndy L. Amazing keynote speaker. Wherever did you find her? This is unlike any other regional convention that I have come to - and it’s an intergroup! The strength of the speakers and the compassion of the members, the breadth of recovery themes - well done! -Maya I am grateful to be back at convention for one more year. So much love and recovery can be found here, and I am so much more grateful to give back what I have been so freely given. Thank you HP! -Marcia B. Loved the keynote and loved the fellowship. It was great to see a big crowd and feel their energy. -Shannon G. Great meeting topics and it was wonderful to have two speakers at most of the meetings. Also, it’s great to be abstinent after two years of relapse. I feel like a newbie again! -Cathy P. ODAT – One Day At a Time. You know you’re recovered when you’re no longer struggling. -Kimberly BB. We are not broken…we need to accept ourselves for what we are.

I heard H.O.P.E. (Having Other’s Pain Evolve). Thank you. -Nancy Every paragraph in the Big Book has a hidden message. We can take 15 minutes and utilize several tools by reading a random paragraph from the Big Book together – Powerful! -Cindy H. I heard the following: Show me how I can be of service. It’s not about the rules. It’s about the relationship. There is a God, and I am not it. Take your hands off the wheel. See long comings or short comings. See possibilities in impossibilities. See release versus control. See turn it over versus hold on to things. See peace versus anger. God loves me, forgives me, and wants the best for me. It’s just an emotion, just a feeling. The truth is that I am not broken. I don’t need to be fixed. I am the person I am supposed to be. Character defects helped me

survive as a child. Life is meant to be joyful. I am not meant to suffer. -Tami H. This is my fourth convention in a row. I am inspired, as always, by the experience, strength, and hope I have found here. -Carol H. Keep coming back. I keep coming back to walk this journey with others. We are not alone. -Julie J. My sponsor helps me sort out what is my mind from what is G.O.D - Good Orderly Direction. M.I.N.D. - My Individual Neuroses Directing.

This convention had a great set of topics. Very helpful. I so needed the group session this morning called, “We are not a glum lot.” I am committing myself to an enjoyable life. I want to surround myself with positive and fun people. I heard H.O.P.E. - Hold On Peace Exists. It’s good to get together and fellowship with people with the same addiction. I feel so loved and accepted at convention. It’s wonderful to be loved. It teaches me how to love myself. I need to ask myself, “What is stopping me from letting God be in charge?” -Krista H. I always enjoy convention. It’s a time of fellowship and recovery; therefore, I make it a point of attending every year. I always hear just what I needed to hear, both at meetings and one-on-one. -BPC Humility is about seeing things as they really are. -KS This is a very good place to be. -Les K. The speaker was just great. I had a great time meeting a lot of people for the first time. -Linda A. Intuition is urging from HP. Principles of the program are my HP. God helps me when I am honest and stop hiding. Read pages 84 and 85 in the Big Book and write on it everyday. I have a new concept of God. I came for vanity; now, I come more for sanity. You are appreciated, loved, and admired. I have a new concept of God. I couldn’t do lent; now, I live it. -Doris, “Precious”

Use the scale for

information, not

affirmation. -M.G.

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TODAY

Hello, I am Lisa B., your 2011 Retreat Chair. I hadn’t planned on chairing the retreat, but through a series of God moments and other OAs gently encouraging me, I decided to be willing to give service in this capacity. It’s only been a couple of months, and, as usual, giving service has strengthened my program. Through my committee’s service and support, I am reminded that, in OA, we are never alone. I would like to encourage you to consider attending retreat as a service to OA and to yourself. It’s a gift, a weekend of support, healing, laughter, and relaxation. The following are answers to questions that OAs may have about retreat: Q: When is retreat, and when does registration begin? A: Registration will begin in July. The retreat will be held Halloween weekend, Oct 28-30. Q: Where will the retreat be held? A: Sojourn Retreat Center in Dittmer Missouri. It’s located about 24 miles south of I-270 on Hwy. 30. For more information, go to www.sojournretreat.org. Q. Will there be a retreat leader? A. Yes, an out-of-state OA member with over 20 years of abstinence will be sharing her experience, hope, and strength. Q: Will there be a special focus or theme? A: The theme is Body Image and Sexuality: Welcome to Your Body, Welcome Home. Several members have expressed a desire to heal more deeply in these areas. Q: That sounds a little scary. How will it be handled? A: From the very beginning, our intention has been safety. The leader and the committee are committed to creating a safe container for healing. Our committee and retreat leader have made it a priority to create a space where members can use the Twelve Steps of OA to heal from past hurts and embrace healing and happiness. Q: What will we do? A: There will be a variety of individual and group activities, meditations, speakers, sharing, and even a bonfire. Members can choose the level of involvement that works for them. While all members are encouraged to participate throughout the weekend, each member’s needs will be honored and respected. Q: What is there to do during free time? A: Your choice. You can listen to what your spirit wants: take a nature walk (there are 75 acres of pristine walking trails), take a nap, sit by lake, enjoy the sun while paddling across the lake, mediate outdoors or in the chapel, hang out in the game room, enjoy the basketball/volleyball courts, connect with your HP and/or OAs, or whatever you feel called to do. This is your time.

Q: What about the food? A: The cost of your food is included in your registration fee. The entire menu will be on listed on the retreat flyer, as well as the website, several months in advance. The committee has worked with the retreat center to provide a healthy food choice at every meal. However, food is served buffet style, and sometimes other groups are served at the same time with their food choices on the buffet. Therefore, it’s up to each member to make the best choices for him/herself. Also, members are encouraged to take care of any special needs by bringing their own food. A kitchenette, with a microwave and refrigerator will be available for all members for the entire weekend. Q: Will an oasis be available? A. Yes, when you check in, you will be sent to the Oasis for your welcome packet. Throughout the weekend, you can stop by for a beverage and enjoy fellowship with other OAs.

Q: Are the conditions at the retreat “hotel style” or the typical “youth camp style”? A: Hotel style, you can enjoy all of the outdoors you want, take a nap by the lake, get a little dirty if you want, and then come back to your fully carpeted air conditioned room with a private bathroom. Q: Will there be an indoor place to relax as well? A: Yes, the teaching center comes standard with a large fireplace, couches, chairs, and an adjacent kitchenette. The dinning hall overlooks the lake. Q: What are rooms like? Will we have roommates? Are they handicap accessible? A. Each room sleeps up to four people. We will have a limited amount of single and handicap accessible rooms. Since we have a limited amount of rooms available, members are encouraged to register early. Depending on your preference and availability, you can room alone, with one, two, or three other people. Just indicate your preference on your registration form. If you already know whom you’d like to room with or if you have special needs, indicate that on your registration form as well. Q: I’d like to attend, but it doesn’t work for me to stay overnight. Can I still go without staying the night? A. Certainly, in addition to the overnight options, members can be day retreatants. You will find the options and prices on our brochure, which will be available soon! Q: I want to go, but I just can’t afford it. Are there other options? A. The We Care Fund was established to help members. For more information, contact Kate M. at katemoriarty88@gmail.com or 314.348.1347. For me, self-care has been one of the most powerful ways to heal and to maintain abstinence. Consider this retreat as self-care: time dedicated to nurturing you heart, mind, body, and spirit.

Body Image and Sexuality: Welcome to Your Body, Welcome Home

Page 4

VOLUME 17, ISSUE 7

Overeaters Anonymous St. Louis Bi-State Area I

ntergroup 9907 E Gravois Road (rear)

St. Louis, MO 63123 314.638.6070 tel 314.638.6071 fax www.stlouisoa.org

Region IV Website: www.oaregion4.org

World Service Website:

www.oa.org

Articles for the newsletter: stlouisoatoday@hotmail.com

Announcements: • The second-quarter 2011 issue of A Step Ahead is now

online at www.oa.org/services-for-members/newsletters.php. Read it and discover the fascinating history of OA’s World Service Business Conference, find useful ideas for connecting to phone meetings, learn about the WSO’s new member services assistant, and much more. Be sure to check it out!

• Strong Meeting Checklist: Consider reading one question from the Strong Meetings Checklist at the beginning of each meeting, on which members can share during open sharing. Or, consider discussing a question or two from the checklist on a regular basis during group consciences. Go to http://www.oa.org/services-for-members/group-support.php to print the checklist.

• Are you a small group who would like to host a Super Saturday? Consider partnering with another small meeting. Need speakers? Use our updated outreach list. For more information, guidelines, or to schedule a Super Saturday, contact Katie M. at intergroupminutes@hotmail.com or 314.520.8256 for details.

• OA Loves Health Fairs! Can You Help? If you know of a health fair that might fit OA's purpose of "carrying the message," please contact Mary S. at mmoke@earthlink.net or 314.965.7182.

• Save trees and money! Read Today online at www.stlouisoa.org

• The St. Louis Bi-State Intergroup has a lending media library with over a thousand tapes/CDs. The CDs can be checked out and returned to the OA office. For specifics, contact Connie at 314.291.7658 or conniehsl@aol.com.

Inside Our Intergroup

At the May 15, 2011 Intergroup (IG) meeting, the following took place:

SUPER SATURDAYS: Thanks to all the groups that have

stepped forward to host Super Saturdays in June, July,

August, November and December! September is still

open – contact Katie M. for information: 314.520.8256.

PUBLIC INFORMATION: Watch for OA signs in bus

shelters around the Metro area. We have already

received an inquiry based on the signs!

OUTREACH UPDATE: Our Outreach Directory has

recently been updated; this process will happen four

times a year. If you’d like your name added to the list, a

form is available through your Intergroup Representative.

Please complete one, and return it to Elizabeth C.

ELECTIONS: Betty S. was elected as Lifeline Chair; Carol

H. was elected as 2011 Retreat Treasurer.

APPOINTMENT: Pat S. was appointed as Webmaster; she

will stand for election to this position when she is able to

attend an IG meeting.

The opinions expressed in Today represent individual members’ hope, strength and experience and do not necessarily

represent OA as a whole. Take what you like and leave the rest. The editor reserves

the right to revise submissions.

Save the Date! OA Fall Retreat Body Image and

Sexuality Welcome to Your Body

Welcome Home Halloween Weekend

Oct. 28-30, 2011

Need a Meeting? • Are you looking for a small, friendly meeting full of recovery?

• Would you like to learn more about our powerful resource, the Big Book?

Join us Tuesdays from 7 to 8 p.m. at 17 Selma Avenue in Webster (63119). We meet across from Webster High School in the education building behind Christ Lutheran Church.

Public There are 15 bus shelters circulating throughout the St. Louis area for a year. The advertising space was donated as a public service announcement, as a result of our Public Information Committee's resourcefulness and hard work.