excerpt20131112_feature magnetic couple-2.pdf

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NOV|DEC

2013

JFKs GayBest Friend

One of the former presidentsleast-known secrets

Toys for JoysPopular charity event

celebrates 5 years of giving

Making Waves

A new generation of queerDJs go back to the future

Merry and Gay

A gift guide for makingthe yuletide queer


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Couple Christian Stanley and PatrickBuzzell PHOTOJoel Benjamin

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Local celeb couple preaches

the virtues of an HIV-poz

and -neg relationship

Christian Stanley and Patrick Buzzell

have a lot to be thankful for this year.

With the fall of DOMA, Patrick can now

sponsor his Venezuelan-born husband

Christian for U.S. citizenship. The Boston

couple, with their beloved pet ferret

Sophia, have settled into a comfortably

stylish South End apartment within

walking distance of jobs they love. Calling

himself something of a jack of all trades,

Christian is a photographer, a personal

trainer and the store manager for the new

G-Star Raw clothing store on NewburyStreet. Patrick is a private health coach

with a certificate from the Institute of

Integrated Nutrition and a registered

respiratory therapist working at Boston

Medical Center and Spaulding Rehabilita-

tion Hospital.

Over the past several years, the two

have worked hard on themselves, their

relationship and their sobriety. Christian

is four years in recovery from crystal meth

addiction, Patrick six years from alcohol.

Together, both men have reached a place

in their lives where theyre eager to talkabout their personal battles and triumphs,

especially if their stories can help others

avoid or overcome similar obstacles.

The two are also a magnetic couple.

Christian is HIV positive and Patrick is

HIV negative.

Christian tested positive seven years

ago. He told Patrick on their first date.

The couple met at the Boston Pride block

party in 2009 when both were single and

neither looking for a partner. They had fun

at the party and then it was time to get to

know each other a little better. It sounds

so clich, Patrick says, but when youre

not looking you find him. When you meet

the right one, you just know it.

I needed to set the foundation, Chris-

tian says. I needed to know that if I was

going to be with someone he needed toknow who I was. Some people say Im

not my disease but I dont agree with that

completely. Im not my disease but my

disease is a huge part of my life. To say Im

not HIV, well, I am the face of HIV.

Patrick says he was as prepared for the

news as anyone can be. Ive dated so

many losers thats not even going to be a

blip on my radar of why I dont date some-

one, he says. When he told me, I was

okay. Yes, hes the face of HIV, but I am too

now, because it affects me personally.

For the past year, Patrick has been

participating in a PrEP (pre-exposure

prophylaxis) compliance study through

Bostons Fenway Institute.

In the study, Patrick takes a daily dose of

the anti-retroviral medication Truvada,

one pill every night. He documents his

compliance to the regiment using a spe-

cial mobile phone app developed by the

studys research team, Dr. Kenneth Mayer,

medical research director and co-chair

of the Institute, affiliated investigatorsand Steve Safren and Matthew Mimiaga.

Patrick also meets regularly with counsel-

ors who further document his day-to-day

life. Gradually, the results are showing

how well this recent breakthrough in the

fight against AIDS is working for Patrick,

Christian and potentially countless oth-

ers, partnered or single, gay or straight.

Back in 2007-10, Fenway was one of two

sites in the United States that took part

in an international study conducted by

the National Institutes of Health to test

the efficacy of this new method of HIVprevention. At the end of that study, only

44 percent of the studys participants

remained negative, says Dr. Mayer.

But a closer look at the blood work,

Mayer quickly adds, revealed something

more promising. Most of the men who

seroconverted in that early study had

not taken their meds regularly and the

researchers had the blood work to prove

it. They also had the blood samples of

those who took their meds regularly.

According to a 2012 report from U.S.

Centers for Disease Control and Preven-tion, Among [those] with detectible levels

of the medication in their blood, the risk

of HIV acquisition was reduced by more

than 90 percent.

The study had two messages, says Dr.

Mayer: Overall the pills work and when

taken regularly the pills work extremely

well.

This good news resulted in the U.S.

Food and Drug Administrations approval

of Truvada for daily use by uninfected

FEATURECouplesSTORY Rob Phelps

Pre-ExposureProphylaxis and the

Magnetic Couple

It soundsso clich, but

when youre notlooking you findhim. When youmeet the rightone, you just

know it.

Patrick Buzzell

[CONTINUES80]

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adults to help prevent the sexual acqui-

sition of HIV, marking the first time

any med has been approval for HIV

prevention.

The PrEP studies resumed at Fenway

and thats when Patrick and Christian

came on the scene.When we were first told about PrEP,

Christian says, we were a little hesitant.

Why would you want to think about hav-

ing sex and putting someone you love, or

anyone, at risk?

This was all my decision, Patrick says.

Christian was hesitant of my getting

on it but Fenway does an amazing job of

educating people about it and how to take

it correctly.

The couple prefers the term smart sex

over safe versus unsafe sex. Christians

viral load is undetectable, which, likePrEP, they consider another tool in their

safety kit. Theyve also educated them-

selves on safer sexual practices and keep

up-to-date on new ones. Whether or not

they choose to use a condom is based on

separate checklists both have developed

together and quickly run through before

that special moment comes along.

If he says hes not feeling this right now,

thats okay, Christian says.

Honesty is a key part of their commit-

ment and if their checklists dont match

up on any given occasion, they turn toPlan B, which might be the condom, or

Plan C, which might be another kind of

safe, intimate activity, or Plan C, which

could mean holding each other all night or

just watching a movie on TV with Prin-

cess Sophia.

One year into the study, Patrick is still

HIV negative and plans to stay that way.

We decided to make our status as a

magnetic couple public for the purpose of

advocacy work, mainly because we want

to start a conversation about HIV, Patrick

says.The couple has been speaking at educa-

tional forums at AIDS Action Committee,

JRI Health, and elsewhere, in an attempt

to de-stigmatize HIV for partners and

potential partners, wether HIV-positive

or negative.

Were not therapists, Christian

stresses. Were not here to modify how

people chose to live their lives or tell

people what safe sex practices they should

do.

But when it comes to positive-negative

couples, both acknowledge a lot ofconfusion out there. People are scared,

Patrick says. Were cautious not to call it

ignorance or lack of education. We have

come in contact with stigma and bigotry

from people who are gay, open-minded

and educated, even people in the medical

field. So we want to start this conversa-

tion. We want to say this is what works for

us. This is who we are and how we choose

to live our lives.

HIV will mutate and evolve so we need

to change and evolve with it, Christian

says. If we dont, were a sad group ofpeople.

No one who chats with Christian or

Patrick is likely to come away sad. This

magnetic couple is one of the most posi-

tive youll ever meetand positive in the

very best sense of the word.[x]

[MAGNETIC COUPLE FROM41]

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