expository essay: examples and explanations
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Question: So what did you do this weekend?TRANSCRIPT
Expository Essay: Examples and Explanations
Question: So what did you do this weekend?
Vague Answers (BAD): “I did something exciting.”
“I tried something new.”
“I met someone and we hung out.”
Specific Answers (GOOD): “I went skydiving.”
“I went skateboarding.”
“I met a green space alien and we bonded over frozen yogurt .”
Strong expository essays include SPECIFIC EXAMPLES to support each idea!
Vague Contains indefinite
pronouns (someone, something)
Non-specific or made-up situations
Causes the writer to repeat ideas in the explanation
The reader can’t picture it.
Specific
Uses names of people and places.
Focuses on a clear, specific situation or person (history, the news, books or
stories, your own life, etc.)Compels the writer to give details that
explain the example
The reader can imagine it!
READ THE EXAMPLE PROMPT BELOW
Spring 2013 English I Writing Expository
Read the following quotation.Take risks. Ask big questions. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; if you don’t make mistakes, you’re not reaching far enough.
—David Packard, co-founder of Hewlett-Packard
Taking a risk means acting without knowing whether the outcome will be good. Think carefully about this statement.
Write an essay explaining why it is sometimes necessary to take a risk.
Now let’s looks at some bad (vague) and good (specific) examples used to support this prompt.
Spring 2013 English I Writing Expository
Read the following quotation.Take risks. Ask big questions. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; if you don’t make mistakes, you’re not reaching far enough.
—David Packard, co-founder of Hewlett-Packard
Taking a risk means acting without knowing whether the outcome will be good. Think carefully about this statement.
Write an essay explaining why it is sometimes necessary to take a risk.
Topic Sentence: Taking a risk can lead to success in life.
Vague You could
discover that you’re good at something by just trying it and make a career out of it.
Specific
Topic Sentence: Taking a risk can lead to success in life.
Vague You could
discover that you’re good at something by just trying it and make a career out of it
Specific Comedian Brian
Regan took a chance when he performed his first stand-up routine during open-mic night at a comedy club.
Topic Sentence: Taking a risk will allow you to learn from your mistakes.
Vague If you try
something and fail, you can see what you did wrong and work to get better.
Specific
Topic Sentence: Taking a risk will allow you to learn from your mistakes.
General If you try
something and fail, you can see what you did wrong and work to get better.
Specific Michael Jordan didn’t
make the basketball team his freshman year of high school.
Topic Sentence: Taking a risk may inspire others.
Vague People
might see you do something and try it themselves.
Specific
Topic Sentence: Taking a risk may inspire others.
Vague People
might see you do something and try it themselves.
Specific Jackie Robinson was
the first African American to play Major League Baseball.
Topic Sentence: Taking a risk could change the world.
Vague Many famous
people (scientists, explorers, and inventors) took a risk to make our world a better place.
Specific
Topic Sentence: Taking a risk could change the world.
Vague Many famous
people (scientists, explorers, and inventors) took a risk to make our world a better place.
Specific The Wright Brothers
risked their lives when they built the first successful airplane
Great expository essays also include an explanation of at least three sentences that supports the example.
Topic Sentence: Taking a risk could change the world. Specific
Example: The Wright Brothers risked their lives when they built the first successful airplane.
Explain:Explain:Explain:
Topic Sentence: Taking a risk could change the world.
Specific
Example: The Wright Brothers risked their lives when they built the first successful airplane.
Explain: They quit their jobs and worked for years to build the plane.
Explain: They could have lost all their money, ruined their reputations, or died in a crash.
Explain: Because of the risk they took, aviation has evolved along with transportation to change the lives of billions of people around the world.
TIP # 1: Use SPECIFIC examples from history, literature, current events, movies/TV shows, or your own life.
TIP # 2: Support each example with at least THREE SENTENCES of EXPLANATION.
TIP # 3: If you start repeating yourself in the explanation sentences, this means that your EXAMPLE is TOO VAGUE!
Now It’s Your Turn!
1. Choose the weakest example in your CBA
expository essay.2. Draw a big box around the weak example and
all the explanation sentences that support it.3. Revise/Rewrite this piece of your essay on an
index card. Include a more specific example supported by better explanation sentences.
4. Staple the index card to the back of your essay.