flamboyant grandson

7/28/2019 Flamboyant Grandson

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46 2 . CeorgeSaunders My Flamboyantrandson 463

GEORGESAUNDERSGeo.ge Saunders as born in 1958 n Amarillo,Texas,e trainedas a scientistat the Colorado Schoolof Minesand aftergraduation orked n Sumatra ndIndcnesra,nalyzing eismic ata n order to prosped for oil . During hat timelre rvas also writing, and eventually raduated rom the M.F.A. rogram atSyr.:use Unrversity. e is the author of the collectionsCivilWorLondn BodDec ne ( 99tr),a PEN/Hemingwayinalist, ndPostorolto2000).Known or hishilariousand often absurd depictions f contemporary ife,Saundersollowsthe tradition of greatAmerican satirists,uchas KurtVonnegut,Jr:n an inter-vreir with tfe AtlonLic, aunders alked about hovr he achieves umor in a51et : l've been asked f when l'm writing I know it's unny, nd think he an-swr rsgenerally o. Because think unniness assomethingo do wrth com-pre;sion.When I write I know that I'm going o have o produce40 percentnrc:e than I need.Sometimes 'llwrite a whole pageand here'llbe ust one it-tle ;chtick hat'sgood in there. 'll eventuallyust cut the r est andgo with that,ancl f 'm uck y get to somethingunnyA lot of it has o do with knowinghowto -ut,so that you get a uxtaposition f strange lementsl'

My Flamboyant randsonJ ha,l brought my grandson to New York to seea show. Becausewhat isI hc alwaysdoing, up here in Oneontaf Singing and dancing,sometimesto my old show-tune records, but more often than not to his favorite CD,"Babar Sings," sometimeseven making up his own steps,which I do notmind. or rather I trv not to mind it. Although I admit that once, cominginto his room and frnding him wearing a pink boa while singing, in thevoice of the Old Ladg "I Have Never Met a Man Like That Elephant," Ihad t, r walk out and give it some deep thought and prayer, aswas also thecasc rvhcn he lumbered into the parlor during a recent church couplesdinncr, singing "Big and Slow, Yet So Very Regal," wearing a tableclothspray painted gray,so as o more closely esembleBabar.

I';cing a man who knows something about grandfatherly disapproval,having had a grandfhther who constantly taunted me for having enlargedcalve;-to thc extent that even today, when bathing, I find myself think-

rng unkind thoughts about Grandfather-what I prayed on both occa-sions was: Dear Lord, he is what he is, let me love him no matter what. Ifhe is a gay child, God blesshim; if he is a non_gay child who simply verymuch enjoys wearing his grandmorher's wig while singing ..ld"i*"lrr. tothe dog, so be it , and in.ith..."r. let-.

communicate my love and ac-ceptance n everything I do.Becausewhere is a-child to go for unconditional love, if not to hisgrandfatherf He has had it tough]i.r-y view, with his mother in Nevadaand a father unknown,.raiyd by t i, gr"rramother and me in an otherwisechildless neighborhood, ptaying "tori. ir, " tirry yard that ends in a grave-f.ard waf . The boys in trli scfro-ot".. h"rJ o' hi_, ", "r. J.-grlr, ", "..he teachers, and recentry we found his book bag in the Susquehanna,and recendy also found, taped to the back of his jacket, " al.og"rorynote, and the writing on ir was not all that childish_tookirrg, ;d therewere rumors that his bus driver had written it.Then one day I had a reveladon. If the lad likes to sing and dance, I

s":ghlwhy not expose him to the finesr singing "n.t a"i.ir1g there isfSo I called I-800-CULTURE, got or'pro_irror-y Voucher in-the mail,and on Teddy's birthday rt. toof the train down to New york.As we enrered the magnificent lobby of the Eisner Tl;;;., I was ingood spirits, saying to f'eJdy, The size or *ri, stage will make that littlestage built you behind th; gara*e look patheti., Jh.r, ,.raa.rty _. *.r.stopped by a stern young fbllow (a Mr.'Ernesti, I berieve)who said,weare sorry, sir, but vou cannot be admitted o., -.r.ly "

-nro*ororyV:1.h.1, are you kidding us) you -rrr,i"t1-your Voucher and your proofof Purchases from at least six of o,r, U",o, Artistic Sponsors, such asAOL, such asCoke, and go at once to th. -it"a._ption Center, on Forry_fourth and Broadwav. to get your rearactuar tickets, and pleasedo not belate' as atecomers .-rroib. admitted, d;.;" special effects which occur:1'Ir "y which require total darkness n -d"r to simulate the Afiican;ungte at night.Well, this was news to me, but I was not about to disappoint the boy.We left the Eisnerand started up Broadway, the Everly i."a"r, _ ,fr.

:*I* :."ding the .Everty Strips.in o,r, ,to.s, the building_mounrednuilscreens at eye level showing images reflective of th! p..rorrrtPreferenceswe d staredo' orr, -orirlrly E;;ly preference Worksheets, thenumerous cybec Sudden Emergent screens outthrusting o, do*o-thr.rrt-ing inches from our faces, and in addition I courd very clearly hear the


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464 . f.eo;geS:'-.inders

s()und only lnessages cing beamcd o me and mc alone via variousKakioAural Focussers, uch as one dr.rt shoutcd out to me between Forty-sec-ond anci Forty-third, "Mr. Petrillo, you choseBurger King eight times astiiscal ycrr but only tw() times thus fbr this fiscal year, pleasedo not forsakeus no% thcre is a store one block north!," in the voice of Br oadway starF,laine lVcston, while at Forty-third a light-pole-mounted Focussershouted, "Golh'. Leonard, remember your childhood on the farm inOr.reontal Why not reclaim those roots with a Starbucks Country Roastf "in a celcbrity rural voice I could not identify, possiblyBuck Owens, andthcn, bt'st of all, in the doorway of PLC Electronics,a life-size Gene Kellyhologram suddenll, ap;leared, ap-dancing,saying, "Leonard, my data n-dicates vou're a bit of an old-timer like myselfl Gosh, in our day life wassimpler, wasn't it, lronardl Why not come in and let Frankie Z. explainthc latcst gizmos!" And he looked so real I called out to Teddy, "Teddy,lokhcre, Gene Kelly, do you remcmber I mentioned him to you as oneof the arl-time greatdancers?"But Teddy of coursedid not seeGene Kelly,(icne B-elly not being one of his Prefbrences, ut instead saw his heroBabar, sr.r'inging small rnonkey on his trunk whil e saying ha t his data n-dicatcd that Tccldy did not yet own a Nintendo.

So that was fun, that was very New York, but what was not so funwas, by the time wc got through the line at the Redemption Center, itwas ten minutcs until showtimc, and my feet had swollen up the way theydo sho,'tly betore they begin spont aneously bleeding, which they havedr>necvcr sincc a winter spent n thc fieezing muck


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46 5 . C,e:rgc aurrders

Nou', cven being fiom Oneonta, I knew that being written up doesnot take ()nc or two minutcs, we would be standing there at least half anhour, aftcr which rve would havc to go to an Active Complaints Center,where thcv would check our Strips fbr Operabiliry and make us watchthat correctivc vidco callcd "Robust Economy, Super Moral Climate!,"which I had alreadybeen madc to watch three times last winter, when Iwas ()ut of work and rvc could not af-fordcable. And we would totallymiss Babar Sings"!Pleasc, saicl,please we have seen plenty of personalizedmessages,via both rhe building-mounted miniscrccnsat eye level and those sud-clcnlyout-thrusting Cybec Enrergent Screens,we have earnedplenty fbronc day. honcst to God we have-furd ire said, Sir, sincewhen do you make the call as ar as when youhave rece'vcd enor.rghuseful nformation from our Artistic PartnerslAndjust kept ,.r,ritingme up.

Well, there I was, n my socks, here was Teddy, with a scared ook inhis eycs I hadn't seen since his toddler days,when he had such a fear ofchickcns that we could ncver buy Rosemont eggs, due to the cartoonchicken c'n the crrton, or, if we did, had to first cut the chickcn off, withscissors e kept in the car for that pulpose. So I made a quick decision,and seizel that Citizen Helper's ticket pad and flung it into the street,shcluting at Teddy, Run! Run!And :un hc did. And run I did. And while that Citizen Helper floun-dcred in the strcet, torn between chasi ng us and retrieving his pad, weraced dori'n Broadway, and glancing back over my shoulder I saw a hulk-ing youn;; nlan stick out his foot, and down that Helpcr went, and soon Iwas handing our tickets to the same stcrn Mr. Ernesti, who was now lessstcn], an(l in we went, and took our seatsr s he starsappearedoverheadand thc Lisner was transtbrmed into a nighttime jungle

And suddcnly there was Babar, looking with longing toward Paris,u'hcrc thc ()ld I.ady was saying that she had dreamedof someone namedBabar,urd dici any of us knowwho this Babarwas,andwhere he mightbc founcil And Tcddy knew the answer, fiom the Original Cast CD,which rv;rs labar is within us, in all of our hearts, and he shoute d it outu.'ith all :lrc othcr childrcn, as the Old Lady began singing "The KingInsideof You."

Anci lct mc tcll you, fiom that moment everything changed for-t'cddv. I am happy to report he has oined the play at school. He wearsascarf evcrvwhcre he goes, rhr()wing it over his shoulder with what canonlv be ,lescribecias bravado, and says,whenever asked, hat he h as de-

My Flamboyantrandson 467

cided to become an actor. This from a boy too timid to trick-or-treat!This from the boy we once found waiking home from school in rears,padlocked to his own bike! There are no more late night crying episodes,he no longer writes on his arms with permanent -"rk.r, rt" t."p. out t,ibed n the morning, anxious o get to school, and dons his scarf,and is al-ready sitting at the table eating breakfastwhen we come down.The other day ashe got off the bus I heard him say, o his bus driver.cool as a cucumber,Seeyou at the Oscars.When an Everly Reader is reading, then suddenly stops, it is not hard totrace, and within a week I received a certified letter setting my fine ar onethousand dollars, and stating that, in lieu of the fine, I could elect to return to the origrnating location of my infiaction (they included a map)and, under the supervision of that cittzen Helper, retrace my steps,shoeson, thus reclaiming a significant opportuniry to celebrate My preferences.This, to me, is not America._ What America s, to me, is a guy doesn't want to buy, you let him notbug you respect his not buying. A gny has a crazy notion different fromyour qazy notion, you pat him on the back and say hey, pal, nice crazynotion, let's go have a beer. America to me should be shouting all thetime, a bunch of shouting voices, most of them wrong) some of th.-nuts)but, please,not just one droning glamorous reasonable oice.But do the math: a day's pay, plus train ticket, plus meals, plus taxis toavoid ttre bleeding feet, srill that is less han one thousand.So down I went.That Citizen Helper, whose name was Rob, said he was glad aboutmy change of heart. Every time a voice shot into my ear, ielling methings about myself I already knew, every time a ceiebriry hol.gramwalked up like an old friend, Rob checked a box o.t -y Infractioncorrection Form and said, Isn't that amazing, Mr. petrillo, that we cando tlat, that we can know you so well, that .. ."r, help you identi$r thethings you want and needfAnd I would say,Yes,Rob, that is amazing, sick in the gut but tryingto keep my mind on rhe five hundred bucks I was saving and on alr thedanceclasseshat would buy.fu for Teddy, as I write this it is nearly midnight and he is tapping inthe room above He looks like a bird, our boy, he watches the samemusicalfifteen times in a row. walking through the mall he suddenly emits a ran-dol line of dialogue and lunges off to the side, doing a dancl srcp that re-semblesa stumble, spilling his drink, plowing into a group of incredulous,


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46 8 . Af hrlSharma

snickering Oneontans. He looks like no one else, acts ike no one else,hisclothes are increasingly lik" plumage, late at night he choreographs usingplastic Army men, he fits no mold and has no friends, but I believe n myheart that someday something beautiful may come from him. (2002)

AKH IL SHARMAin New Delhi, India n 1972,Akhil Sharma mmigrated o the United'.. /

' ..AjZ" family had moved from India to eueens, New york, rwo yearsearlier.The accidentoccurred during the boys' summer vacadon,on a visitwith their aunt and uncle in Arlington, Virginia. After the accidlnt, Ajay,smother cam to Arlington, where ihe r"aitel to ,ee rRma'vafit,*.L.ou.r.At the hospital, she told the doctors and nurses that her sofi had been ac_cepted into the Bronx High School of Science, n the hdpe that by high-lighting his intel.ligence she would move them to make,i greater efforr onhis behalf. Within a few weeksof the accident, rhe irs,jr*i. ."-f*y ,"iathatAmanshouldbe ransferredo a l"* .#;riyl;. ;il;:; ""uerm one But only a fewof thesewercanygood,3nd those "r.'fuil, *dAjay'smother refusddo moveAman untii " spap opened n one of them.so she emained n fulington, and Ajay rt"y.4g''too,and his fathervisited

SurroundedySleep 469

and works a\ investment anker n NewYork By he time hethre:, he had alneady ublished tories n such magaziness hen such magazines s the $tlontic andthe New Yorker:\n interview whh the Atlontic,Sharma al$ about whatdriv:s his characterl:1'My characters are motivated by a dgfire to improve

lishrd in 2000 and won the PEN/Hemingway wardstor,es, ncludrngSurrounded'pySleepl' av e

from Queenson the weqkendsh"r, i. **"1;.kid ;i"y;;r;nrolledat the ocalpublic school'andn Septemberf{e tartednftn-gr"a..Before the accident,Ajqy had neverpfyed much. In lidia, he and hisbrother used to go with their mother t/ttt. t"-pte every Tuesday night,but that was mostly because here wa/a good d.isarestaurant nearby. InF:1.", his family wenj to " \-# oJy on important holy daysandbirthdays.But shortly afterAjay's',f'othe, tame to Arlington, shemovedinto the room thar he and his bro/er had shared during"the ,umm.. "rrd

takeany.form; he picturef M"h"t-" Gan\i -", ,h.r" because e hadappearedo her in a drelm after the accidentrand old her that Aman

all-represents aFother: as pub-

first idion.Three of hisselected for the Eest

Amlrtcon Short Stories.Discussin|'{row he madean altar n a corner.She/{rew.an old flowereJ;fr..i "r.r-" *raa story Sharma has said, boardbox that had onceheld felevision. On top, sheput a clay amp, an'Wnen I was younger I started with\he and would work up to thal incense-stickholder, and posty'ardsdepictrng various gods. Theie was alsoNo v I start with an incident hat could in the storyThe difficutty a postcardof Mahatma Ga/dhi. she exprafted to Ajay that God couldof starting his way is that the story ts \nger plot-driven.Youhave o keepyour reader hooked hrough br inte\est n the way you tell the storyrnst:adof through he promiseof payoffi' \\\\

il fnlyrj',,oaubirylheiripswithwater nd ice.Mi[;;A;Jn, ro,onty waterr ?".ryt' he did not like ro eat. As weekspassedand Aman didnor fecov.er rn-trfre to return to the Bronx High school'lf Science forrne nrst.clayotflasses, his mother began doing things thar.qalledamen_uon to her pi9ty. She sometimesheld the prayer lamp until'it blsteredher palms. lnstead of kneeling beficre rhe altar, she lay face diwn. shefasted twice d week. Her attempts to sway God were not so differentfrom Ajay's performing somersaults to amuse his aunt, and they madeGod seemhuman to Ajay.

by SleepAr. August afterr7.6on,hen Ajaywas en yearsold; his elder brother,\-/lnran, dove ry/o a pool and struck his headon the cementbottom.For threc minutegl he lay there unconscious. Two boyi'continued toswim, Kicking aDl rplashing, until finally Aman was spo;ed below them.Water nad entq,fed hrough his nose and mouth. It had filled his stomach.His lu,rgs collapscd.By the time he was pulled out, he could no longerthink, talk, chew,or roll over in his sleep.

would recover andleasthalf an hour befor/ the altar ivery morninAt first,sheprayef with absolute'humility.1^l .,,o., Jrrs praycp wrrn aDsolute humtlty. *Wh\tever you do will begoo. because you ape doing it,', she murmured to the posicards of Ram

flamboyant grandson

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