fools and kings
DESCRIPTION
A play script based on the Mahabharata, set in a film industry of the 1970sTRANSCRIPT
"Fools and Kings"
By
Ujwal Nair
ACT I
SCENE 1
A BLUE LIGHT comes to life and floods STAGE LEFT.
A man wearing a SHINY SUIT and a TURBAN enters
from the LEFT WING. He takes a bow. He’s some kind
of performer.
PERFORMER
Thank you for your patience ladies and gentlemen, you
are all much too kind. Now for the act you’ve all been
waiting for...
The Blue light goes off and a SPOT LIGHT comes on,
lighting up MID-STAGE CENTRE. There’s a FOUR-SIDED
TABLE with CHAIRS on all but one side. TWO MEN,
holding onto GLASSES OF ALCOHOL, are seated
opposite each other. They are drunk as hell.
DRUNK MAN ON THE LEFT
You know what I hate more than your guts? Your
filthy-looking face. If I could tear it apart, I would.
DRUNK MAN ON THE RIGHT
I’m sorry Rocky, but that role, that character, it’s
tailor-made for me. I can’t let you have it.
He takes a sip from his glass.
You don’t know how it feels to be born into a family of
legends, to be surrounded by legends-in-the-making,
while being an insignificant little germ.
ROCKY
You’re right. I don’t know how that feels. But my world
would be better off without a germ like you
contaminating it.
DRUNK MAN ON THE RIGHT
And with you out of my way, my mind will be at ease
knowing that there is one less genius in the world.
ROCKY
How you flatter!
DRUNK MAN ON THE RIGHT
So, do you want to hear my proposal?
ROCKY
Proposal?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2.
DRUNK MAN ON THE RIGHT
You still want to tear my face?
ROCKY
More than you can imagine.
DRUNK MAN ON THE RIGHT
Then I propose that we play a game.
SPOT LIGHT goes off and the BLUE LIGHT comes back
on.
PERFORMER
(taking a revolver and a bullet out of
his pocket)
For my final act I’m going to play a classic sport. The
most dangerous sport there is. A sport of life...and
death...
BLUE LIGHT off, SPOT LIGHT on.
DRUNK MAN ON THE RIGHT
Russian Roulette.
ROCKY
Russian Roulette?! You’ve really lost it, haven’t you?
DRUNK MAN ON THE RIGHT
No. Not entirely. Here’s what I reckon: I succeed in
blowing your head off, it puts another stain on my
already shameful reputation. You succeed in blowing my
head off, the world will believe that you have
performed an act of God by putting a madman to rest.
Rocky, if you think that God is treating you fair by
letting scum like me have my way, you can shy away from
the one chance you have of getting rid of me. Or if you
think that God is truly on your side, nothing can come
between your bullet and my skull.
ROCKY
(after a long pause)
Let’s play.
SPOT LIGHT off, BLUE LIGHT on.
PERFORMER
Ladies and gentlemen, I would advise you not to try
this at home. Or anywhere in the mortal world for that
matter. I’ve got one bullet(he shows us his bullet). I
insert it into one of the openings in the wheel of the
barrel(he inserts the bullet). I spin the wheel(spin,
spin, spin). I push the wheel back into its place(he
pushes it back). And I’m ready to take my first shot.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.
BLUE LIGHT off, SPOT LIGHT on.
A THIRD MAN has joined the table. He reveals TWO
REVOLVERS and TWO BULLETS to the men at the table.
He inserts one bullet in the wheel of each barrel,
spins the wheels, pushes the wheels back into
place, and passes a gun to each player.
ROCKY
Me first.
Drunk man on the right shrugs:"Fine by me." Rocky
aims the gun at the drunk man’s forehead.
SPOT LIGHT off, BLUE LIGHT on.
PERFORMER
(aiming the gun at the side of his
head)Three...two...one...(he pulls the trigger)...lucky
for the fifth time straight ladies and gentlemen. Thank
you. It’s been an honour.(He bows) For the finale...
He raises his gun-holding hand to the ceiling.
SPOT LIGHT comes on. BLUE LIGHT stays on.
ROCKY pulls the trigger. We only hear a click.
It’s the drunk man’s turn. He points the gun at
Rocky’s forehead.
DRUNK MAN ON THE RIGHT
My turn.
The performer and the drunk man fire almost
simultaneously. We hear the gunshots loud and
clear. STRIPS OF SPARKLY RED PAPER are showered
onto the men at the table. Rocky sits dead on his
chair.
The performer takes one final bow and the BLUE
LIGHT goes off.
The drunk man on the right rises from his chair
and takes a look at the dead Rocky.
DRUNK MAN ON THE RIGHT
(to the third man)
Nice work uncle.
They exit through the RIGHT WING. TWO BACKSTAGE
CREW MEMBERS enter from the LEFT WING and carry
the dead body offstage.
4.
SCENE 2
The SPOT LIGHT continues to shine. A WOMAN is
seated at it. She’s having a drink from a
CHAMPAGNE GLASS. The BLUE LIGHT comes on to
brighten up STAGE LEFT. A man enters from the LEFT
WING, wearing a SHAWL that covers his torso.
THE MAN
Having a drink are we Helen dear?
HELEN
I’m worried Ace. Terribly worried.
ACE
Oh that’s a perfectly reasonable excuse to get drunk.
I’m sold.
HELEN
Ace, I’m serious.
Ace walks across to the chair closest to Helen’s
and settles down.
ACE
Where are The brothers?
HELEN
They’re out. Shooting. For the last time probably.
ACE
Why so?
HELEN
Doc accepted the invitation.
ACE
Is that right, my dear?
HELEN
Look, I know he’s a sucker for gambling, how just the
thought of it gets his blood racing...
She leans towards Ace.
But this is Macho D we’re talking about Ace. We all
know how twisted his mind is.
ACE
His mind is twisted honey. Yes, very twisted.
HELEN
Will you stop with the ’honey’ and the ’dear’ crap?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.
ACE
What’s the matter sweet cheeks?
HELEN
I’m serious.
ACE
And I’m not? How can anyone resist the urge to woo
someone as...ooh la la...grand-looking as you?
Helen gets up from her seat in frustration.
HELEN
You have been very helpful, thank you. I appreciate it.
You may leave now.
ACE
But it has been eras since I last saw you, last spoke
to you...
HELEN
I wanted us to talk as well Ace, but you’re testing my
patience with all your...cheesiness...
ACE
But, cherry, you ought to know- you order the Ace
package, you get it with the cheesiness.
Helen begins to walk away...
ACE
Before you go, you should know that I will be at
tonight’s game. I’m going there to oversee the
proceedings.
HELEN
Thank God! Oh that’s all I wanted to hear! I would give
you a hug if I wasn’t afraid of Taurus walking in on
us.
ACE
He would give me a thrashing then, eh?
HELEN
Probably, yes.
ACE
I’d take it for the hug.
Helen shakes her head in embarrassment, but smiles
this time. There’s a bit of silence. Till Ace
rises from his chair.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 6.
HELEN
Stay for a drink?
ACE
Oh, no. No, no, I better get moving. I can take Taurus,
but not the whole band of brothers.
HELEN
That’s not funny.
ACE
I know. I apologise.
He goes up to her. He reaches out to touch her
face, but she turns away. He closes his hand and
brings it down.
Don’t worry. Everything will be just fine. Probably not
smooth as silk, but fine.
HELEN
(coyly)
Why not smooth as silk?
ACE
(to the audience) Because, like you said Helen, this is
Macho D we’re talking about. Who knows what trick he’s
got up his sleeve? (to Helen) You take care now.
Helen exits through the RIGHT WING. The SPOT LIGHT
goes off. Ace speaks to us.
Tonight’s the opening night of Macho D’s Casino. Being
the blood-sucking gambler that I am it’s the perfect
place for me to be. But for the men of Helen’s house,
Macho D’s cousins, maybe it’s not such a great idea.
Especially not for The Doctor, the eldest of Macho D’s
cousins. He’s a fine filmmaker, known for his
"clinical" approach to filmmaking and all. But when it
comes to Poker he is...insufficiently skilled. So no
matter what, he should stay miles away from the Poker
table and let one of his brothers do the gambling.
That said, the devious Macho D will always have a
back-up plan to screw his cousins.
Ace takes off his shawl to reveal a WAIST-COAT. A
BACKSTAGE CREW MEMBER comes out from the LEFT
WING. He takes Ace’s shawl, gives him a HAT, and
exits. Ace wears the hat, and takes out a PACK OF
CARDS from his WAISTCOAT POCKET.
So tonight’s game promises to be anything but friendly.
It’s going to be a dramatic clash. Sadly I won’t be
playing any Poker myself,(smiles) but I’ve got the best
seat in the house.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 7.
Ace moves to the table.
SCENE 3
As the BLUE LIGHT goes off, the SPOT LIGHT snaps
back on, and so does a BEAM OF RED that brightens
up STAGE RIGHT. STAGE RIGHT, we find two men. One,
SMARTLY DRESSED, standing. The other, DRESSED IN
RAGS, seated on the floor, hugging a bottle of
beer.
Ace is seated at the head of the table. He is
putting down cards. The game is in progress
between two other men at the table, seated
opposite each other. Both the men turn in their
cards. The man seated on the right is the
SURVIVING DRUNKARD from SCENE 1. He looks
thrilled. The man seated on the left looks
disappointed.
ACE
(to the audience, pointing at the man
seated on the left)
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Doc, short for The
Doctor...
(pointing at the surviving drunkard
seated on the right)
And the infamous Macho D...
Macho D and Doc are oblivious to Ace’s interaction
with us.
About the game. Well let’s just say Macho D’s Plan B
remains intact and unused. Because the enthusiastic Doc
volunteered to play himself. And Doc has taken a pretty
terrible beating to say the least. The chips were taken
off the table a long time ago. Since then Doc has lost
everything from his wrist-watch to the last acre of his
Studio property, to, as absurd as it sounds,(pointing
at the men STAGE RIGHT) his own actor brothers and even
himself! Well played Doc.
A Backstage Crew Member(BSCM) enters from the
RIGHT WING with a PEN and a FOUR DIFFERENTLY
COLOURED SHEETS and offers them to Macho D. Macho
D accepts the items and passes them to Doc. The
BSCM goes up to the RIGHT WING and waits there.
MACHO D
Here are the contracts for the Studio property
transfer, the turning over of your good self and your
brothers. Be a nice boy and sign away will you?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 8.
DOC
(reading the contents of the papers)
You came fully prepared, eh? Well I shouldn’t have
expected any less from Macho D.
MACHO D
Yes Doc, you shouldn’t have. Now about those
signatures.
Doc takes the pen and signs whereever required.
DOC
I didn’t know this contest was meant for showing off
B-grade party tricks. I signed up for a game against a
Poker player, not a magician.
MACHO D
I take that as a compliment. But I sense that you’re
being a bitter loser about this. I’ve played my cards
right Doc, you can’t hold me guilty for that. I
understand your pain though. So I’m going to make you
an offer. If I’m not mistaken there’s one more of you?
DOC
(slow realisation)
Helen.
MACHO D
Wager her and win?(lifting the contracts)...and you can
gift these pieces of paper to the nearest peanut
seller.
DOC
(considering it)
I win and the terms of the contracts will be nullified?
MACHO D
Yes that’s what I meant.
MAN ON HIS FEET(STAGE RIGHT)
Doc we have fallen deep enough, there’s no need to drag
Helen into this.
DOC
(to Macho D, ignoring STAGE RIGHT Man’s
plea)
I’m not going to wager Helen without Conman’s
permission.
MACHO D
Suit yourself.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 9.
ACE
(to the audience, pointing at the man
seated on the ground)
Conman is the odd-looking fellow there. He’s the most
gifted actor in Doc’s camp. Right now he’s in serious
preparation for the role of an aimless, depressed
alcoholic. He calls this his meditation, his penance.
He gets offended if he’s called an ’actor’. He believes
an actor’s job is to pretend to be someone he’s not,
not to live to be someone he’s not. Conman lives.
Doc walks up to Conman and goes down on one knee.
DOC
Conman. If you’re there somewhere I want you to know
that there are dreadful times ahead of us. Cleaning
Macho D’s toilet, walking his dogs, being his dogs,
we’re not cut for those things. But listen, we can
still wager your wife. And if we win we get back
everything. Our property and our lives.
CONMAN
But good sir. I don’t have a wife. I lost her and my
entire family in a horrible drought. Now all I have is
this bottle for company. (showing his bottle to Doc)
Isn’t that pathetic?
MAN ON HIS FEET(STAGE RIGHT)
Yes it is. Now snap out of your silly act brother! This
is Helen we’re talking about.
CONMAN
You called me brother! Thank you! Thank you...brother!
MACHO D
Sorry to interrupt your family moment but, Doc, the cat
came out of the bag a long time ago. We all know that
(pointing at all of them) your interactions with the
lady of the house go beyond the occasional lunchroom
chat. Stop trying to defend your honour. Just play.
Doc walks to the table and takes his seat once
again. Ace distributes the cards. They play.
ACE
(to the audience)
And we have the same story. Doc wagers, Doc loses...
Macho D punches the air in elation. The BSCM goes
out, comes back with a RED SHEET OF PAPER and
hands it over to Macho D, who in turn hands it to
Doc. Doc signs it.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 10.
ACE (cont’d)Doc signs a contract. I’m sorry Helen.
MACHO D
What a night!(to the BSCM) Go fetch Lady Helen.
The BSCM exits through the LEFT WING.
MACHO D
(to Ace)
Fix me a drink will you?
ACE
(rising from his chair)
Certainly sir.
MACHO D
I’m feeling generous so get yourself one if you like.
ACE
Thank you sir.
Ace exits through the RIGHT WING.
MACHO D
(to his new dogs)
Would any of you like a drink to wash down your
sorrows?
Silence. Taurus glares at him. Doc has his head in
his hands.
CONMAN
(raising his hand)
Sure kind sir.
MAN ON HIS FEET(STAGE RIGHT)
That’s enough Conman!
Macho D sniggers. As Ace enters through the RIGHT
WING with a tray of drinks, the BLUE LIGHT comes
on and Helen enters through the LEFT WING led by
the BSCM. Macho D gets up immediately, walks up to
Helen and takes her hand. A YELLOW LIGHT comes
alive to light up DOWN-STAGE MIDDLE. The BSCM
takes his place next the RIGHT WING. Ace puts the
tray on the table.
MACHO D
Dearest Helen. Welcome! How would you like to star in
the first installment of my superhero franchise with me
playing the lead?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 11.
HELEN
I wouldn’t.
MACHO D
What if I tell you that it’s not upto you?
HELEN
And why on earth not?
MACHO D
Because your gem of a brother-in-law wagered you to win
back all that he lost in tonight’s game, and lost you
in the process.
HELEN
(looking menacingly at Doc)
Is that so? And who am I to him, for him to wager?
MACHO D
You’re family to him. His one and only sister-in-law.
And much more I’ve been led to believe.
HELEN
What have you been led to believe?
MACHO D
Sweetheart I won’t hesitate to embarrass you in front
of everybody so don’t push it.
HELEN
Try me.
MACHO D
Since you insist, let me ask you, is it true that you
provide comfort to all the men of your household at
unearthly hours?
HELEN
Absolutely true.
MACHO D
(pause)
And how does that make you feel?
HELEN
Like a queen having her subjects battle it out for a
few precious moments with her.
MACHO D
Oh my. I did not know that whores felt so high and
mighty.
He lets go of her hand and takes a seat at the
table.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 12.
Well since you’re so adept at the art of engaging men,
how about you show me a performance?(he slaps his
thighs) Right here. Right now.
HELEN
(sternly)
Yes, well, that’s not going to happen.
Macho D lifts the red sheet of paper.
MACHO D
Look here lady. I’ve got Doc’s signature on this
contract. You were in my custody from the moment Doc’s
pen left this piece of paper. And I tell you, my slave,
that I want to end the night with a performance from
you and you bloody well listen!
Man on his feet(Stage Right) loses his cool and
charges at Macho D. Macho D, almost as if he was
expecting it takes out a handgun and points it at
the raging bull. The beast is tamed.
MACHO D
Who’s the action hero now, huh?
Macho D rises, turns to the BSCM and tilts his
head to Conman’s direction.
The BSCM takes out a handgun of his own and points
it at the head of the bemused Conman. At this
point Ace sneaks off stage through the RIGHT WING.
MACHO D
I’ve got your hubby and one of your infinite playmates
at my mercy. You want them to stay at my mercy, you get
on that table (pointing at the cards table) and dance!
Helen looks down and walks towards the table.
MACHO D
Can we have some music?
Nancy Sinatra’s "These Boots Are Made For Walking"
blares through a record player. Helen gets onto a
chair, and just as she gets onto the table, the
lights go out.
We hear moans and groans of pain.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 13.
The lights snap back on. Helen is gone. Macho D is
on the ground with his gun being held on his face
by the enraged Man who charged at him previously.
The BSCM’s head is pinned on the table with his
gun lodged into the back of his neck by Conman,
who has now become a different man altogether.
DOC
Taurus. Conman. Please. Let go of your victims.
TAURUS
(gritting his teeth)
Quiet Doc! This creep has crossed the line.
DOC
But we haven’t. And we don’t have to now. Calm your
anger. Let these pricks go.
Conman pulls away. Taurus does so reluctantly.
Before leaving Taurus grabs the coloured sheets of
paper- the contracts.
DOC
Good. Let’s go find Helen.(shudders) We’ve got a lot of
explaining to do.
TAURUS
(pause)
We?
Doc and his brothers exit through the LEFT WING.
SCENE 4
Macho D rises from the ground, dusts his suit and
gestures the BSCM to go after Doc and his
brothers. BSCM exits through the LEFT WING. The
YELLOW LIGHT goes off. Macho D patiently stands
next to the chair on the right. Moments later, Doc
enters through the RIGHT WING.
DOC
You summoned me?
MACHO D
Yes Doc where are my contracts? Trashed them already?
DOC
Taurus did. He set them on fire actually.
MACHO D
That’s great. Just great! How could you let him Doc? I
thought you were an honourable man. I don’t really know
what that word means but you were it- honourable.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 14.
DOC
What are you getting at cousin?
MACHO D
Everything I won last night, from the first bet you put
on the table to the last shred of your dignity, I won
because of my undeniable skill and your lack of it. I
can’t be punished for that. I deserve a second chance.
One more game of Poker.
DOC
I cannot go through another long-drawn, one-sided
contest.
MACHO D
You don’t have to. Just one game. Winner takes all.
Loser stays away from show biz for thirteen years.
DOC
Thirteen years?!
MACHO D
What is that compared to a lifetime in my prison?!
Which is what I had you and your family for, until my
contracts were burnt out by your brother!
DOC
I see your point.
MACHO D
(pause)
So? Do we play?
DOC
Yes. We play.
Ace enters with a pack of cards from the RIGHT
WING.
ACE
No points for guessing the outcome of this game.
Ace shuffles and distributes cards to the players
who have taken their seats. He lays out five
cards...
Doc plays simply to delay the inevitable. And it’s not
a long delay.
Macho D jubilantly turns in his cards and
maintains the same level of excitement while he
gets up and exits through the RIGHT WING. Doc sits
on his chair, contemplating his ill-fate. Ace gets
up from his seat. And while heading towards the
LEFT WING...
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 15.
Doc and his family, having no belongings to pack, make
their way empty-handed to a nearby village, where they
will be for the next thirteen years. Me and Doc and his
family, we go back a long way. So I’m going to drop by
to make sure they don’t waste their time cribbing.
Ace exits.
16.
ACT II
SCENE 1
Doc is still at the table under the SPOT LIGHT.
The BLUE LIGHT comes on. He is joined by Taurus,
Conman, Helen and Ace who has put his shawl back
on.
ACE
You haven’t perished Doc. Treat these thirteen years as
a break that you and your family need, to prepare
something monumental. Something epic.
TAURUS
(annoyed)
Which we will get to work on after 13 years.
ACE
Rome wasn’t built in a day was it? Think about it. Your
work has already left a mark in cinematic history.
Thirteen years from now your comeback will be the most
awaited event of the millennium. But first things
first. You need a story that is universal in appeal.
And I’ve got one.
DOC
Pitch it to us then.
ACE
It’s simple. The story is about you, your family and
your illustrious lineage.
CONMAN
(jokingly)
You’re such a rip-off artist.
ACE
(smiles) Yes I couldn’t resist, because the story of
your lives provide enormous scope for drama. And just
to push the drama factor, I’ve set it in the ancient
times when Gods, Beasts, Sages and Kings and Queens
lived under one roof.
DOC
A mythological backdrop. I’m intrigued.
The BLUE LIGHT goes off.
17.
SCENE 2
The RED LIGHT comes on. Macho D and the THIRD MAN
from SCENE 1 enter through the RIGHT WING.
MACHO D
It’s official Uncle. Tenth hit in a row! And everyone
thought Doc and Co were set to take over the family
empire. Who would’ve known that their talentless hack
of a cousin was ten times as capable as them, of
becoming the country’s number one show man?
Driving them away from the world they were born to
inhabit, it might have seemed harsh. But I was born to
inhabit this world as well, right? This world of show
business?
Uncle nods.
My business, like theirs, was to show. But no one was
paying attention to my creations. It was like no one
wanted to look at my babies. Like my babies were
dim-witted, ugly, insignificant. That hurt. So I had to
eliminate my cousins from the race.
And now that I’m on a winning streak, I’m not going to
let anyone steal my thunder. This is my time.
The RED LIGHT goes off.
SCENE 3
The BLUE LIGHT comes on. STAGE LEFT, Ace and Doc
are reading a scene from scripts.
DOC
"Yudishtra and Krisha are in conversation. Yudishtra:
Krishna, these thirteen years would have seemed endless
if I did not have you and my brothers and Draupadi by
my side. A simple thanks might not be adequate, but it
is all I have to offer. Where do we go now my friend?
What do you foresee?"
ACE
"Krishna: Though my actions and my words have proved to
be prophetic in the past I am no prophet dear
Yudishtra. I simply say and do what my heart desires. I
told you that your people would eagerly await your
return, that they would welcome you with garlands and
good wishes. Your time has arrived. Discover for
yourself what happens next."
They fold up their scripts.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 18.
ACE
So neither of us know where the story is going.
DOC
It would appear so. The script has mirrored our lives
so far Ace. The outcome of my talks with Macho D today
will take the story in the direction it is supposed to
go.
ACE
You want to remain truthful to the end. Very good Doc.
DOC
Yes. All right, I should be on my way. I’ve got our
lives to reclaim. Thirteen years! It’s been a long
wait. Thanks for being there for us Ace.
ACE
It’s been an honour Doc. But what if Macho D denies
your claim?
DOC
Well then I’ll have to smash his head with a mace.
Awkward pause.
I’m only joking. I’ll just be reasonable and hope that
he reciprocates.
ACE
Good luck Doc.
(to the audience)
Macho D did not reciprocate.
Turns to Doc who exits through the LEFT WING.
And that was the last that I saw of Doc.
19.
ACT III
SCENE 1
Taurus is seated at the head of the table. Seated
on the left is Conman and seated on the right is
Macho D’s Uncle. Ace and Helen are standing
around. The atmosphere is eerie. Everyone waits
anxiously for Uncle to speak.
UNCLE
All these years Macho had been basking in his
unexpected glory. He was convinced that your lot would
have lost all sense of hope and ambition after your
exile.
Nothing could prepare him for the excitement with which
Doc burst into his office. I could sense Macho’s heart
shrink. He realised right then that if the family
legacy was to be carried on by him, he had to remove
your brother from the picture. Permanently.
So he fired a bullet into your brother’s chest, put his
body inside a car and had it driven off a cliff.
TAURUS
It must’ve been a nice car. Was it insured? Because our
brother’s life sure as hell wasn’t!
CONMAN
You come here weeks after his death to confirm what we
already know? That’s kind of you. Now please stop
making us miserable and get out of our sight.
UNCLE
You’re misunderstanding the purpose of my visit. I’m
here to help.
CONMAN
Help? You’ll be our eye-witness and stand up against
Macho D when the time comes?
UNCLE
The boy is well-protected by his father and all his
foul political connections. Anything I, or anyone says
against him, will become immaterial.
TAURUS
So what then? We let him escape scot-free?
UNCLE
That, or you challenge him to a game of Russian
Roulette. Heard of it?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 20.
CONMAN
Yes. But I think we’re looking for less suicidal means
to get revenge.
TAURUS
What makes you think he’ll agree to play?
Uncle gets up. While walking around the table...
UNCLE
When Macho plays Russian Roulette against an opponent,
I come in as the Spinner. I spin the wheels of the guns
of both players. That way Macho is guaranteed a hit the
very first time he pulls the trigger, and the opponent
is not.
THE PERFORMER from ACT 1, SCENE 1, emerges from
the LEFT WING. He comes on stage and freezes.
Uncle turns to the performer.
It’s a trick I picked up from my father. He was an
illusionist. He also taught me card tricks, which I
passed on to Macho, which he unfortunately used against
you in the game of Poker.
TAURUS
Oh thanks for that.
UNCLE
I had to do it to win his trust. So that when this day
arrived, when Macho’s rivals were ready to cause him
pain, I could be of assistance, and Macho wouldn’t
suspect a thing. Why would I do something so wretched?
I want Macho’s father to feel the excruciating sorrow
of losing one of his own. He murdered my father simply
to gain hold of a sorry little piece of land where my
father did his solo acts. When I saw Macho take your
brother’s life, it was like watching an action replay
of my father’s last living moments.
The performer breaks out of freeze mode and starts
searching his pockets.
PERFORMER
It seems I’ve forgotten to bring my cards.(with a wry
smile) This is embarrassing.(turning to Uncle) Child,
bring me my deck of cards at once.
As Uncle approaches the performer...a
GUNSHOT...the performer falls to the floor. A BSCM
comes in from the LEFT WING and drags the
performer’s body off stage. Uncle walks after the
body, but halts before the LEFT WING.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 21.
UNCLE
If you boys decide to challenge my nephew to Russian
Roulette, I will spin the wheel in your favour. I’ll
give you time to consider my offer.
Uncle turns to the RIGHT WING and walks. He is
almost off stage...
TAURUS
Throw him the challenge. Tell him that I want to see
him bleed.
Uncle nods and exits.
CONMAN
Are you insane!? Taurus save your action star antics
for the screen!
TAURUS
Brother, don’t suddenly act like you care about someone
apart from yourself.
CONMAN
What is that supposed to mean?
TAURUS
I’m referring to your lack of concern when your own
wife was wagered like a poker chip! You were so caught
up in your own stupid little act.
ACE
If I may speak Taurus, it wasn’t stupid at all. If
Conman was getting prepared to play the role of a
loving husband, he would’ve reacted differently.
TAURUS
And that’s not selfish?
ACE
It most certainly is. But that’s Conman for you. And
Conman if you need the faith to take on your cousin in
unimaginable ways, you need to get lost in the
character that Doc had written for you. His last wish
was for his script, the story of your lives, to get an
honest ending. You can give him the ending that he
wanted. Conman you can help Doc, you can help us. Start
by helping yourself.
Ace begins to sing Sad Brad Smith’s "Help
Yourself". The others join in. They sing, they
dance till the LIGHTS GO OUT.
22.
SCENE 2
LIGHTS SNAP BACK ON. Taurus and Macho D are seated
opposite each other at the table. Uncle is seated
at the head of it. Ace, Helen and Macho D’s
personal BSCM stand close-by. Uncle shows the men
at the table TWO BULLETS, and inserts one each
into the wheels of TWO REVOLVERS. He spins the
wheels and pushes them into place.
MACHO D
Conman decided to skip this?
ACE
No he’s on his way. He had to arrange for an extra
horse to pull his chariot.
Uncle passes a gun to each player. Macho D speaks
to Ace with a forced calm.
MACHO D
(amusedly)
What do you mean? Oh wait. He’s "in character" eh? Well
it won’t be the first time he’s done it for nothing.
TAURUS
Shut up and play.
MACHO D
My, my, somebody’s really eager to pop my head. Go on.
Fire first.
Taurus takes his revolver. He raises it and takes
aim of Macho D’s forehead. He hesitates to shoot.
Uncle shuffles uncomfortably on his chair.
UNCLE
(to Taurus)
All right! Listen young man. I’m sorry. I couldn’t do
it.
Nervous glances are exchanged between the people
on stage.
MACHO D
Do what?
UNCLE
(while getting up from his chair, to
Taurus)
Walk away while you still can.
Uncle goes STAGE RIGHT.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 23.
MACHO D
(loudly)
Do what!?
UNCLE
I’m sorry Macho. I promised these men that I would take
their side in this game.
MACHO D
(shaking)
What?! Why?!
All of a sudden Taurus pulls the trigger. We hear
a click but no gunshot. Macho D turns to him in a
flash, grabs his gun and pulls the trigger...just
another click is heard. Everyone else watch in
horror.
MACHO D
(to Uncle)
Where’s the damn bullet?!
UNCLE
I don’t know! I didn’t jinx either of the guns!
After a second or two, Taurus pulls the trigger
again. And again. Macho D does the same. We still
hear only clicks until...gunshot...Macho D’s BSCM
has taken out his gun and fired. Taurus falls back
on his chair- dead.
Macho D stares at the body in shock. His assistant
pulls him out of his chair and they make their way
to the RIGHT WING. From the LEFT WING Conman
enters, wearing a vaeshti and an angavasthram. He
is holding a bow which he has strung. He lets go
of the string and the BSCM jerks his body, cries
out in pain and falls. Macho D is about to snatch
the BSCM’s gun, but Conman strings his bow with
another invisible arrow and aims it at the
terror-struck Macho D. Macho D halts.
CONMAN
Pick up your weapon.
MACHO D
I’m sorry?
CONMAN
Pick up your weapon. I cannot attack one who is
unarmed. Do you not know that it is adharmic?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 24.
Macho D pounces onto the BSCM’s gun. The moment he
touches it, Conman releases his arrow, throwing
Macho D to his left. With the little strength that
he has left, Macho D fires at Conman. Conman
winces and slumps to his knees. Seconds later, the
rest of his body hits the floor.
UNCLE
(to Ace and Helen)
I’m sorry. I couldn’t bring myself to hurt my child.
Uncle walks out through the RIGHT WING. Helen
stands by, shell-shocked. Ace, trying his best to
remain calm, walks up to the front.
ACE
(to the audience)
The story of Doc’s family just got the most explosive
ending. Call me heartless, call me sadistic, but I
can’t wait to finish Doc’s script.
HELEN
So you got the exciting ending you were looking for.
ACE
Helen...I...
HELEN
Just make sure you go easy on my boys when you write it
down.
ACE
But Helen. Doc wanted to stay true to...
HELEN
I know. But my boys deserve better.
FADE OUT.