Creating Emphasis with Line Breaks

Session 8

Version 1 Poetry• For version one of your three (or four) selected

poems, type your poems as they were written in your Writer’s Notebook.

• If you notice misspelled words, correct them.• If you left out a word as you drafted in your

writer’s notebook, add the missing word.• If the wrong tense or form of a word was used,

correct it.• Save this as ____(Your Name)___ Poetry Version

1on your school drive.• Print two copies and turn into Mrs. Parkhurst. One

copy will be returned to you.

Version 2 • Version 2 of your poetry focuses on line breaks

and stanzas.

The Importance of Line Breaks• The line is the most important unit of meaning in

a poem.• Poets revise line breaks to explore an emerging

poem. • Line breaks add emphasis to important words that

impact the poems’ meaning.

Line Break Decisions to Emphasize Words• The last word on the line has power.• The most important word on the line• Usually nouns or verbs – specific – not flower, but

carnation; not car, but Mustang

• First word on the line

Why do you think Naomi Shihab Nye divided the lines of the poem “Rain” the way she did? Talk with

your partner before going on to the next slide. “Rain”

Line Break Decisions to Emphasize Words• Single (or few words) on a line• Repeated words place at the beginning, end or

middle of a line.Wheels

What word is emphasized? Any guesses as to why the poet might have selected that word? How

does the word relate to the title?

On the next slide, what do you see?

Wheels• My brother kept in a frame on the wall pictures of

every motorcycle, car, truck:in his rusted out Impala convertible wearing his cap and gownwaving in his yellow Barracuda with a girl leaning into himwaving on his Honda 350waving on his Honda 750 with the boys holding a beerwaving in his first rig wearing a baseball hat backwardswaving in his Mercury Montegogetting married waving in his black LTDtrying to sell real estate waving back to driving trucks a shiny new rig waving on his Harley Sportster with his wife on the backwaving his son in a car seat with his own steering wheelmy brother leaning over him in an old Ford pickupand they are waving holding a wrench a rag a hose a shammywaving.

Line Breaks to Create or Break a Pattern• Poets create patterns with complete sentences

and phrases on a line.• Use a one syllable word at the end of the line and

then break the pattern with a three syllable word.• Creating consistent stanzas • Number of lines• Length of Line

The Blue Bowl Why are some lines started in the middle of the

page?What kind of words end the line?

Break the Pattern• Break a phrase by putting part on one line and

part on the next line.• Add surprise by finding an unexpected word as

the first word of the next line.• Use a consistent number of lines in a stanza and

then break the pattern. • If you break a phrase between two stanzas, you

force the reader to read faster.

Look at Your Poems (Friday)• Open your (Name) poetry Version 1 document.• IMMEDIATELY, save the document as Versions 2

(Name) Poetry.

• What do you notice about the line breaks?• For each poem, break your lines differently. • Is there a word or a short phrase that should/could

be repeated for emphasis? • Make notes about what you are trying to do with

your poem by changing the line endings. Your notes will help you write your reflection piece.

Look at the Stanzas• Do you have stanzas in your poems? If not,

should you? Stanzas are used to shift between ideas or create a pattern with the line endings.

• If stanzas are different lengths, is it intentional? If it is not, what can you do to make all of your stanzas the same length.

• Again, take notes to help you write your reflection narrative that must be submitted with your portfolio.

• Make sure you are saving your document as Version 2.

• Print a copy for Mrs. Parkhurst. The copy will be returned to you or your final portfolio.

Questions about Revision 2• I really like my poems as they were written the

first time. I don’t want to change them.• Rarely, does a poem just come to a poet. Sometimes we

like our first version, but as we force ourselves to work with our writing, we find ways to make our writing better. • This assignment is asking you to use the writing process.

We completed prewriting when we wrote in prose. We drafted our prose into a poem; we are now revise those first drafts. • In my classroom, I see students skipping from drafting to

editing in the writing process. If writers do this, the writing remains at a basic level.

Questions about Revision 2• Is it o.k. if I change more than my lines or

stanzas?• Certainly, it is o.k. to make additional changes to your

poems at anytime, even after they are published. Walt Whitman made changes to every volume of poetry that was published during his lifetime. • To receive full credit for the three versions of your poems,

I must see three revisions.• The plan for version 3 is to focus on word choice and

poetic devices.• We will also look at the rhythm or flow of the poem with

the third revision.

Controlling line breaks & capital letters.• If you do not want all lines to begin with capital

letters turn off auto correct.• Click the File tab, and then under Help, click

Options.• In the PowerPoint Options dialog box, in the left

pane, click Proofing.• Under AutoCorrect options, click AutoCorrect

Options.If you want your poem to be single spaced:Highlight text.On the Home tab, under ParagraphSelect single space and remove all spacing before & after paragraphs.

Making Revision - Focusing on Words

Session 9

Look at Your Poems• Open your (Name) poetry Version 2 document.• IMMEDIATELY, save the document as Versions 3

(Name) Poetry.

• For this revision, you are going to focus on word choice.

Common Revision Decisions

CUT1. 25 words.

A, the, an, and General words Unimportant details Unimportant repetition

2. Lines that tell

3. Flat sounding words

ADD1. Add specifics• Nouns and verbs• Repetition to create

emphasis

2. Replace them with specific sensory detail, image, metaphor or simile.

3. Words with assonance, consonance, onomatopoeia, or rhyme.

Cut and Add• I remember. . .• a new doll in a box called Peggy Sue• a fluffy, white kitty named Snowball,• but only when I look at the black and white

photographs.

• I remember. . .• Peggy Sue, my new doll packaged with care.• Snowball, a fluff ball barely big enough to leave his

mother• Memories that come to me though black and white

photographs.

Revise Lines that tell

Verson 2I remember. . .never being invited to birthday partiesorange shoes that others called “ruby” slippers

used clothing that was not good enough

the boys taking my red hat on the school bus

sitting alone at lunch

that brought tears that no one ever saw.

RevisedI remember. . .party invitations that never cameOrange shoes that stood out like the ruby slippers on the evil witch in Ozpast season clothing that hardly covered my developing curvesThe game of keep away, as the big boys on the bus took the ratty, red cap from my head

A little girl, the last to leave the shelter of the lunchroom , hoping that someone would ask her to playHead buried down to hide the tears of exile.

Use the synonyms function:

With your cursor on the word, right click to bring up the drop down list.

Read for rhythm • Which sounds better?• Quite town• Quite, little town

• She loved me unconditionally.• Unconditionally, she loved me.

• Her gnarled, knobby fingers.• Her gnarled and knobby fingers.

Finally. . .• Edit for punctuation• Poems use punctuation to form sentences and control the

pace of the reader.

• Give each poem a title• If the words for your poems were taken from a

book or magazine or if your poem is modeled after someone else, you must give credit to the source. • Original ideas taken from Better Homes and Garden,

December 2013.• Modeled after the poem “Early Memory” y January Gil

O’Neil.

Getting Feedback through Reader Response Groups

Session 10

Reader Response Groups• If you have finished revision 2, form groups of 3 to

5 people. • Print one copy of the poem you want to gather

feedback on so each member has a copy to read and write comments on.

• Identify a time keeper. Each person in the group will have 7 minutes.

• Identify a first reader.• The reader reads a poem for one minute and

remains silent during response acting like an eavesdropper. Reader takes notes.

Reader Response Groups Continued• Response group members use the nonjudgmental

responses from session 2. (Nonjudgmental Responses – Next Slide)

• DO NOT talk to the reader.• Listeners point out specific lines, name the

devices used in the poem, and explain how they understand the poem.

• The Writer/Reader closes the time by saying thank you, but DOES NOT explain the poem or ask questions.

• When everyone has had a chance to share, then you may ask questions or have additional conversation.

Nonjudgmental Responses• I noticed. . .• The line that sticks out for me is. . .• The part I remember best is . . .• I felt. . .when this was read in the poem. . .(tell

what was said)• I wish I knew more about. . .• I wonder. . .

Publishing Your Work

Session 11

Publishing • To turn into Mrs. Parkhurst• Reflective narrative• Final version of three poems with at least 50 lines• Revision 3• Revision 2• Revision 1

Select your best poem to publish

1. Publish the poem on the Forum page on Mrs. P’s web page.• Go to this link• http://parkhurst.weebly.com/forum-page.html#/news/• Click on the link Publish Poems and then follow the

instructions.

2. Type and decorate a poem for the class book of poems.

3. Give an oral performance of your poem and have someone record you.

4. You may earn extra credit for your poetry if it is published.