Department of Christmas Spirit––Seasonal Cheerfulness Service (99) ##

Christmas Cheer Return ADESTE FIDELES

For the year Jan. 1--Dec. 31, 2015, or other year beginning , ending

Your first name and initial Last name

If joint return, your fellow wassailer's name & initial Last name

Home address (number and street). If you have a P.O. box, what's wrong with you? Apt. no.

City, town or post office, state, and ZIP code. If you have a foreign address, what are you, some sort of tax cheat?

Foreign country name and why it's not as good as America Foreign province/state/county Foreign postal code

You Wassailer

1 All alone on Christmas CHECK ONE BOX ( Use 'X' ) 4 Christmas party host (with eggnog). (See instructions.) If

2 Buying someone else gifts from joint checking (even if only one had income) a qualifying guest is a child but not your dependent, enter

Check only one

box, unless you 3 Buying from separate accounts. Enter wassailer's SSN above this child’s name here.want to check two. and full name here. 5 Qualifying Scrooge with sufficient humbugs

6a Yourself. If someone out there is not ashamed to claim you, do not check box 6a . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .0

Exemptions b Wassailer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

c Little Urchins: (3) Urchin's • appreciate any gift

relationship to • cry because they

(1) First name Last name you (See instructions.)

0

0

0

0

d Total number of nativity scenes at the Vatican . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .0

Holiday Cheer 7 Wages, salaries, tips, etc. down the drain on Christmas gifts . . . . . . . . . 7

8 a Actual interest in the holiday season. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8a

Attach Christmas b Feigned interest. Do not include on line 8a . . . . . . . . . 8b

cards received 9 a Ordinary Christmas lights. Attach only working strand. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9a

here. Exclude b Those ridiculous blinking lights . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9b

the card from 10 Hours spent lying to children about Santa . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10

your dentist. 11 Golden rings received . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1112 Subtract dreams of a white Christmas from calories in a sugar cookie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12

13 If Jeanette and Isabella brought a torch, check here. 13If you did not 14 Fulfilled prophesies. Attach Old Testament . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14

get any cards, 15 a Christmas card distributions 15a b Stamp cost . . . . . . . 15b

no one likes you. 16 a Texted holiday greetings 16a b SMS costs . . . . . . . 16b

17 Manheim Steamroller expressed as a percentage of all steamrollers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

18 Yule log burn rate . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18

19 Estimated fruitcake shelf life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19

20 a What child is this? 20a b Member of Trinity . . . . . . .20b

21 Creatures stirring. List type and amount. 21

22 Combine the amounts in the far right column for lines 7 through 21. 22

23 Number of ships seen sailing in . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

Adjusted 24 24

Christmas 25 Deduction for Christmas parties attended . . . . . . . . . . . . . .25

Light Wattage 26 Holiday travel expenses. Attach Form 3903 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .26

27 Deductible part of extra holiday pounds. Attach Schedule SE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27

28 Humbugs per capita . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28

29 Credit for bells heard on Christmas day . . . . . . . . . . . . 29

30 Penalty on early Christmas playlists . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .30

31 a Lumps of coal b Prefered mining operation 31a

32 Nativity deductions from public square . . . . . . . . . . 32

33 Credit for knowing that Dec. 25 33

34 What in the world is "Pat-a-Pan" about? . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

35 Domestic gift production deduction. Attach Form 8903 35

36 Add costs of replicating the Saturnalia. . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

37 Subtract line 36 from line 22. This is your Christmas light wattage . . . . 37

For Disclosure, Privacy Act, and Paperwork Reduction Act Notice, see separate instructions. Cat. No. 11320B Form 1225 (2015)

Form 1225 (2015) Page 2

Fo

rm 1225 2015 Write and staple all you want in this space.

See separate instructions.

Don't worry about whether the

numbers above are correct.

Lump of Coal

Check here if you, or your fellow wassailer if filing

jointly, want $3 to go to God-fearing American coal

companies.

Your Circuit City Rewards Number

Wassailer's Comcast Account Number

Boxes checked

on 6a and 6b.

No. of urchins

on 6c who:

(2) Urchin's (4) if urchin under age 17

social security qualifying for extra gifts

Filing Status

Social Security. Ingrates on 6c

not entered above

If more than four number failed to receive a

pony or laptopurchins, claim

credit for saving

0

0

Random number

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0

0 0

0

0

0

0 0

Credit for hearing "Jingle Bells" yet again . . . . . . . . . . . .

0 0

This is your holiday spirit 0

0

is the first day of Christmas . . . .

0

0

0

38 Amount from line 37 (Christmas light wattage) 0 0 0 0 38

39 a Check You hear what I hear Song

Standard if: You know what I know Child 39a

Gift Card for -- b If your spouse is responsible for decorating the tree, check here 39b

• 40 Itemized Christmas gifts (from Schedule A) or your standard gift card (see left margin) . . . . . 40

41 Subtract anachronistic Santa from nativity set . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41

42 Exemptions. If number of reindeer is 11 or less, subtract two fruitcakes. Otherwise, see instructions. 42

43 Eggnog Excise. Subtract line 42 from line 41. If too difficult, eggnog was spiked . . . . . . . . 43

44 Christmas Spirit (see instructions). Check if: a Christmas Past b Present c 44

45 Alternative Christmas Spirit (see instructions). Attach Jacob Marley . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45

• All others: 46 Add lines 44 and 45 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

47 North Pole tariff. Attach Form 1116 if required . . . . . . . . 47

48 Depreciation for War on Christmas. Attach Form 2441 . . . . . . . 48sentimental value 49 Inflatable Lawn Ornament Credit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

50 Subtract maids-a-milking from partridges in pear trees . . . . . . 50

51 Number of harks the Herald Angel sang . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51envelope 52 Boar's head credit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

53 Other credits from Form: a 3800 b 53

54 Add Eastern kings bearing gifts These are your wise men . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54

55 Subtract line 54 from line 46 to yield number of gifts to purchase . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55

56 Deduction for census tax of Cyrenius, governor of Syria . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .56

Pudding 57 Unreported dwelling of King of the Jews (to Herod): Bethehem Nazareth 57

Share 58 Additional tax on Christmas trees, other qualified décor, etc. Attach Form 5329 if required . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .58

59 a Gingerbread Household employment taxes from Schedule H 59a

b First-time living nativity participant credit. Attach embarrassing photo if required b

60 Gifts from: a Form 8959 b

Form

8960 c Instructions; enter code(s) 60

61 Add lines 55 through 60. This is your figgy pudding allocation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61

Returns 62 2015 estimated litigation costs against town hall creches . . . . . 62

63 Bill O'Reilly's income from waging the war on the war on Xmas . 63

If you have a 64 a Credit for not hating "Xmas" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64a

qualifying b Ratio of chai teas to Chi Rhos . . . . . 64b

child, take out 65 Additional elf tax credit. Attach form 8812. . . . . . . . . . . . . 65

a line of credit. 66 Subtract age of little drummer boy from Tiny Tim's height . . . . . 66

67 Amortization of goodwill under Section 197 . . . . . . . . . . . 67

68 Amount spent on electronics for 3-year olds . . . . . . . . . . 68

69 Excess goose courtesy of Ebenezer Scrooge . . . . . . . . . 69

70 Credit for federal tax on reindeer-propeled alternative vehicles . . . 70

71 Credits from Form: a 2439 b Resvd c 8885 d 71

72 Add lines 62, 63, 64a, and 65 through 71. These are your gift returns . . . . . . . 72

Refund 73 Infant's gift price above the cost of wrapping paper This is the amount you overpaid 73

Direct deposit? 74 a Amount of line 73 you want refunded to you. If Form 8888 is attached, check here 74a

See b Routing number 4c Type: Checking Savingsinstructions. d Account number

75 Amount of line 73 you want applied to your 2016 Christmas Club 75

Amount 76 Amount of caroling you owe. Subtract number of friends you neglected. 76

You Owe 77 Estimated resultant Facebook defriendings . . . . . . . . . . 77

Third Party Do you want to allow another person to discuss whether you've been naughty or nice? Yes. Complete below. No

Designee Personal Identification no.(PIN)

Sign Under penalties of perjury, I declare that I have examined this return and accompanying schedules and statements, and to the best of my knowledge and belief,

Here they are true, correct, and complete. Declaration of preparer (other than caroler) is based on all information of which preparer has any knowledge.

Joint return? Your signature Date Number at which you don't check voicemailSee instructions.

Keep a copy Fellow wassailer’s signature. If a joint return, both must sign. Date If the North Pole sent you coordinates, enter

for your records.

Paid Date if PTIN

Preparer's

Use Only Infirm EIN

Phone no.

Form 1225 (2015)

Christmas 0

Presents You MUST indicate

your filing status

0

Immediate family,

Personal Item of

Extended family,

$10 in a white 0

in lines 1-5.

People who you

otherwise have no

idea what to buy

for, see

instructions.

Filing status?

0

Filing status?

0

0

Acquaintances, A

card, maybe.

8801 c

0

0

0

0

0

0

0

0

Designee's

name

Phone

no.

0

them here.

Print/Type preparer’s name Preparer’s signature Check

Your soul-crushing career

Fellow wassailer's occupation

Less firm address

Amway seller

Firm name