foster child - foster parent communication
TRANSCRIPT
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 1
Importance of Family Communication for Former Foster Youth
in Relation to Life after Aging Out of the Child Welfare System:
A Literate Review
Christopher J. Bowen
Kent State University
Advanced Interpersonal Communication
45001-001
Prof. Child
(Originally wrote) May 9th, 2010
(Re-edited) April 20th, 2011
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 2
Abstract
The significance of this paper is to explain how communication can be a key used to help former
and current foster youth have a better chance at a successful adulthood. Parent-child relations
should not be limited to biological families and parents alone. Foster parents and child welfare
agencies can learn a lot from parent-child concepts to apply in foster youths lives. Also, social
service agencies can use communication skills. Therefore, allowing foster children to have a
better chance at a successful adulthood. For instance, many college students have safety nets in
parents to rely upon after becoming an adult; however, many foster youth do not have this luxury
Therefore, this paper addresses how foster parents can fill this role and the child welfare system
can assist in this issue as well. This paper also stresses that foster parents that are not committed
to the foster youth living in their home, in order to create a parent-child communicative role with
their foster youth that is similar to communicative roles between biological families, then they
should not take the job. The theories used to explain this process were the attraction theory and
affection theory. This is because even though these theories are mostly related to romantic
relationships. There are similarities between how romantic relationship attraction and affection
are related to parent-child relations and therefore foster parent-foster child relations, too.
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 3
Importance of Family Communication for Former Foster Youth
in Relation to Life after Aging Out of the Child Welfare System:
A Literate Review
Communication has long been considered an integral part in a childs development
throughout their life. However, one must consider the effects that a lack of communication can
have on children and their development, especially when children start to reach adulthood.
Children who have been raised in a situation with proper parenting tend to have better
communication skills when they reach adulthood (Williams & Hughes, 2005). These
communication skills affect all kinds of relationships that can range from professional, personal,
friendly, romantic and even communication in relation towards their own children in the future.
In modern times children can often be found living in an array of many different types of
parental situations. These types of situations include: biological families of single parents, dual
parents, and kinship to the biological family. Also there are adopted families and foster families.
There are many more types of families; however, these styles are the main focus of this paper.
To better understand why communication aspects are so important to a childs
development, and the effects that communication has on a child once they near adulthood and
into their adulthood this paper will be broken down into two main categories that will stress the
importance of communication in relation to family and parents. In examining communication we
will look at the effects of communication in relation to family and parents and how children fair
later in life. Children growing up in a situation with biological family or kin, and adopted
families versus children that grow-up in foster style families that have little or no biological
family or parent relations, proper parent-child communication settings are lacking.
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 5
stress the academic and life importances of communication for younger children in order to
have successful adulthoods.
The reason these two points are so unique and important to a childs communication in
life is how they relate to the children after life. In most biological families or kin families and
adopted families children have a presence of their family or kin later in life to rely upon in
difficult situations. However, many, if not most, foster youth do not have this family or kin
presence after time in their respected situation. Therefore, children that grow-up in this type of
situations tend to have to face a world without any support system other than their own
(Anderson, 2010). Life for former foster youth tends to push them into the life style of an adult at
way too early of an age. This then leads to many troubles from criminal to psychological in the
childs life later on (Anderson, 2010). Anderson is currently in the process of creating a
documentary film that shows the hardship and life of the American foster child. The
documentary is entitledFrom Place to Place in which the film signifies the constant moving for
children in the child welfare system. Having an adult or parent later in life after leaving the child
welfare system can give a former foster youth the support they need (Rushlo, 2010). Supportive
interactions can have a positive impact on a childs development especially in relation to their
own communication.
The techniques used to evaluate this information were found through a series of journal
articles in the communication fields and social services fields by previous researchers. This is
because this paper addresses a combination of how parent-child communication and foster youth
transition into adulthood have strong relational similarities. Therefore, this paper addresses a
possible new subfield within communication studies or social service studies that has up to this
point no primary research that was found. However, because this combination of the two fields
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 6
has little or no research done to promote research findings secondary sources were the most
acceptable means of finding quality material to address these issues. Also, due to the style and
approach of this particular paper primary research would be hard to study, if not unobtainable.
Also, due to my personal experiences in relation to the situations of this paper it can be seen that
using secondary sources is best in order to remove possible biases from the findings.
Review of Literature/Findings
This paper has been broken down in to two main categories. First this paper will address
communication between parents and children in their biological families. Therefore, this
information will come from communication research to explain parent-child communication
techniques. Within this section the paper will examine how masculine and feminine
communication styles will affect how children and parents communicate with their own sex and
the opposite sex. Also, this section will explain how children going through puberty will have an
abrupt change in their communication styles and need both masculine and feminine
communication around them to effectively grow into adulthood.
The second main section of this paper will examine how the research on parent-child
communication within biological families can be applied to foster youth. Also, this section will
explain the different styles of foster youth living arrangements, the importance of addressing
foster parent-foster child communication issues, and explaining how parent-child (foster parent-
foster child) communication have profound effects on how foster youth develop in adulthood.
A small third section will address how the combination of these two fields
(communication studies and social service studies) into a new subfield within either or both
existing fields is needed in order to address the communication issues that plague foster youth
before they transition into adulthood. Also, this section explains that this new subfield would be
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 7
a valued asset to social service agencies and future or current foster parents to address bettering
their programs and to help foster youth that are aging out of the child welfare system.
Importance of communication in biological families
Many college students that attend college after high school often have troubles that they
face within their first years of school. Parents and family are usually a support system that these
college students have to rely upon in tough times (Williams & Hughes, 2005). Communication
between parents and children after leaving the home is extremely important in the development
of a childs life as they approach adulthood. In a study according to Williams and Hughes
(2005), it was found that two main types of communication exist in families, socio-oriented
communication and content-oriented communication. Socio-oriented communication is
communication that is interpersonally related, encourages communication within the family, and
helps to create a positive and stable family atmosphere. Concept-oriented communication is
communication that is negative to the family atmosphere, creates family separations, and cause
independence within the family to an unhealthy degree (Williams & Hughes, 2005).
Children often go to their parents for assistance with a problem and either look for help or
validation in how they are approaching the problem (Dandekar, 1990). Having validated
communication can be helpful to children as it allows the child to distinguish between positive
and negative events in their life (Williams & Hughes, 2005; Dandekar, 1990). Socio-oriented
communication brings these aspects of positive family communication and validation that most
children seek from their parents. Therefore, children who grow-up in a socio-oriented
communication setting tend to communicate in that same manner later in adulthood (Williams &
Hughes, 2005). A child that grows up in a conceot-oriented communication style will reflect that
style of communication as they reach adulthood (Williams & Hughes, 2005). The significance of
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 8
these two styles of communication on children in relation to their families and adult life show
how children expect communication to be later in their life. Communication within the family
also develops around gender and sex communication styles. This is due to the fact that masculine
and feminine communication has different approaches in how topics are addressed. This holds
true in communication with children and parents in the family setting.
Communication between children and parents of the opposite sex play major roles in the
development of communication in a childs life. If one style is absent it will have profound
effects on how children develop their communication skills. Gender of both parents and children
plays a major role in communication within the family. In a survey conducted on children and
parents in relation to the behavior and punishments. Both male and female children are more
comfortable to communicating with their mother if they feel that they have not done something
wrong or are in trouble (Luk, Farhat, Innate, & Simmons-Morton, 2009). Furthermore, both male
and female children are more comfortable communicating with their father about future
aspirations and goals; although, this was much higher for daughters. Daughters tended to
communicate more with their mothers for contemporary issues (Luk et al., 2009).
Communication and gender have a major impact on what specific issues children want to
communicate with their parents. What children communicate with parents based on their own
gender as well as their parents gender.
Puberty is the first stage in which children begin to adjust to the changes in a lifelong
adjustment to their body; however, puberty is not just physical changes it is psychological and
effect how individuals communicate with each other.As a child goes through puberty; however,
communication with the parent of the opposite sex is important as well. Communication with the
parent of the same sex as the child is of high value. A childs need for communication or
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 9
perceived lack of need for communication (children going through puberty may push away from
communication with parents; although, they still actually want it) can often be caused by
puberty. In a study done on children going through puberty it was found that male children tend
to distance themselves from their parents as opposed to female children becoming closer to their
parents but appearing to distance themselves at the same time. (Steinberg, 1988). It was
concluded in the survey that mothers were extremely important to a childs and adolecents
development. However; communication according to the children seems to have importance after
childhood with their father, but was not studied. (Steinberg, 1988). In relation to gender, puberty
and communication are effected by life changes as well as gender norms in society and effect
how children communicate with their parents and family.
Parent-Child Communication and Health
Children have a stronger desire to communicate with their parents when there are major
health issues in the family (such as cancer). (Huzing, Visser, Van Der Graaf, Hockstra, &
Hockstra-Weebers, 2005). This particular study focused on parents with cancer and how their
children communicate with them. Female children have the strongest desire to communicate with
their parents if a parent had cancer. However, parents would redirect the communication on to a
new topic or cease communication with their children completely (Huzing et al., 2005).
Adolescent children had a stronger desire to communicate with their parents, if the parent has
cancer, compared to younger children. Therefore, suggesting that parents who have health issues
withdrawal from communication with their children at one of the most critical times of
communication development in their life. Adolescent children explained how this lack of
communication affected their life in school, work, friends and in romantic relationships (Huzing
et al., 2005).
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 10
Importance of Communication for Foster Youth in Non-biological families
The core focus of this paper is to explain the importance of communication differences
between those children who have grown up in foster homes as opposed to those children that
have grown up in biological families. After discussing above the importance of communication
in biological families and the profound effect that it has on the development of children
throughout their childhood, it can be said that foster youth exert the same need for this style of
communication. However, with very little or no biological family to rely upon, foster youth are
forced to learn their communication tactics from foster families (Harden, 2004). Foster parents
have extreme pressure put on them to live up to this communicative role that is desired by the
foster youth in their home. Sometimes the safety and stability of the children and parents
involved in the child welfare system is put to the test and communication can help correct this
issue (Harden, 2004).
Safety and stability in the home derives from conflict management by the family in
relation to parent-child communication (Brown, Fitzgerald, Shipman, & Schneider, 2007;
Harden, 2004). In a study conducted to better understand conflict management between those
families that have positive conflict managing skills versus those families that do not have
efficient conflict managing skills, it was found that children learn their conflict management
skills from those in the household with them, in particular the parents (Brown et al., 2007).
Mothers were hypothesized to be more likely to initiate communication if conflict arises in the
home, and this hypothesis was confirmed by the study. The study focused on how mothers and
children manage conflict in their home and that nearly 40 percent of mothers initiated a
conversation centered on conflict management where less than 30 percent of children would
initiate a conversation about conflict management (Brown et al., 2007). Families in which
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 11
parents initiated communication in relation to conflict, as opposed to children initiating the
conversation produced better family functioning (Brown et al., 2007). This in turn, promotes
more safety and stability in the family (Harden, 2004). Suggesting from evidence found in the
study those families that have parental communication in relation to conflict in the home have
positive parent-child communication skills.
Types of Foster Living Arrangements
Treatment Foster Care, or TFC, is considered the most extreme situation that children are
placed in within the child welfare system. Also, TFC is the largest subdivision of the child
welfare system in the world (Redding, Fried & Britner, 2000). Because this is a particularly new
situation of concern within the child welfare system, much research has not been done on TFC in
relation to why many children end up in this situation and what needs to be done in order to help
the children lead a normal life style. What has been found is that those children placed in these
situations with extreme wishes against their own will tend to develop many psychological
problems that have a profound effect on their adulthood life after leaving the child welfare
system (Redding, Fried & Britner, 2000). Although, TFC has benefited many children in
returning to their parents or being adopted and, in extreme cases, staying in long-term foster care.
Returning to their parent is the most important goal of the child welfare system. However,
having the children leave TFC and be adopted or put in a traditional foster home for long-term is
a step in the correct direction (Redding, Fried & Britner, 2000).
In relation to TFC, the child welfare system needs to find better opportunities to address
the issue of children in the child welfare system and how to better satisfy their communicative
needs, whether these needs be fulfilled by a biological parent or family member (which is highly
proffered), an adoptive parent, or a long-term foster home in which the child feels comfortable
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 12
in. In 2001 it was found that nearly 47 percent of children in the child welfare system were of
age 11, but under age 16 (Massinga & Pecora, 2004), suggesting that this (11 to 16 age group) is
the highest growing age range in the child welfare system and, as according to Weinberg , L. ,
Weinberg, C., & Shea, (1997), the largest for concern due to fact that those children in the
child welfare system at this stage in their life are in the mist of their adolescent years. Thus,
being one of the most crucial times in their childhood.
The goals that the child welfare system has strived to create are programs that are
designed to interconnect children from the child welfare system in their own situation as well as
create programs designed to help youth after they have aged out of the system and began their
adult life (Massinga & Pecora, 2004). However, the fact that older children need permanency,
stability, and a forever family (Massinga & Pecora, 2004, p. 1 papa. 2) shows the importance
of having a connection to someone or something (rather than a group or organization) after a
youth leaves the child welfare system. Whether this be with the system itself, a former foster
parent staying in close contact, or biological family re-intervening in the youths life after a set
time.
Depending of the style of foster home a child grows-up in they may have more complex
issues with communication that can later affect their adult life (Orme & Butler, 2001). In a study
(Chipungu & Bent-Goodley, 2004) three main types of foster care styles were used; traditional
foster homes, kinship foster homes (adopted homes), and TFC homes (group homes). The largest
numbers of foster youth live in traditional foster homes totaling of 60 percent of those living with
non-biological parents. The second largest number was those foster youth living in TFC homes
at 30 percent, thus leaving only ten percent of foster youth living with kin or becoming adopted.
Of the 90 percent of foster youth living in TFC or traditional foster care, only 40 percent are
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 13
reunited with their biological family (Chipungu & Bent-Goodley, 2004). Of the 60 percent living
in traditional foster care, 30 percent are European-American and 33 percent are African-
American. In TFC, 18 percent are African-American and 12 percent are European-American.
Therefore, it can be concluded that those foster children of the African-American community
represent a total of 51 percent of all children not living with biological parent or kinship/adopted
style foster care. 42 percent of European-American foster children live in traditional and TFC
(Chipungu & Bent-Goodley, 2004). This is important as the African-American population in the
United States is much less than the European-American population in the United States.
Due to the unnatural living situation in which foster children grow-up in, they tend to not
have the advantage of a consistent parental figure helping them with conflict (Doelling and
Johnson, 1990). This forces foster youth to manage conflict on their own which seriously hinders
their communication skills (Brown et al., 2007). However, many foster parents misconceive what
their duties as a foster parent are. This can be from lack of training (Chipungu & Bent-Goodley,
2004) or lack of commitment on the role of being a foster parent (Doelling and Johnson, 1990).
It is important to understand this because both foster mothers and foster fathers play an important
role in a foster youths communicative development, emotional development, and temperamental
behaviors (Chipungu & Bent-Goodley, 2004). It can be said that foster parents that do not
understand the burden of being a parent to foster youth and working with foster youth to better
manage conflict and communication are causing harm to both themselves and the foster youth
they care for.
Multiple placement foster youth and communication. As important as communication
is to foster youth and their development, it can be said that this holds true to those foster youth
that lived in multiple placement situations, if not more important. In a survey done by
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 14
researchers, it was found that those former foster youth that lived in five or more traditional
placement style homes were found to have the most economic, parental, and schooling problems
later in their adult life. Whereas youth that aged out of the child welfare system that were in five
or less placements seemed to have a much higher success rate in economic, parental, and
schooling after leaving the child welfare system (Keller, Crusick & Courtney, 2007).
Foster youth have an extreme desire and demand for parental style communication in
their foster homes, even if they seem not to show this desire for parental
communication(Gardner, 1996). Furthermore, certain countries prefer reunification as opposed to
long-term foster care or adoption for foster children. This is due to the psychological damage that
is a result that foster youth develop from being in the child welfare system for so long. Also
when asked, foster youth in the child welfare system stated that they did not like being in the
system and felt uncomfortable being away from their families. However, it was found in this
survey that the number of foster youth in the child welfare system is increasing and bring arise to
the issue of how to better handle the situation of keeping children with their biological families
(Gardner, 1996).
The first step often taken in the reunification process is having visitation with both the
biological parents and children. These visitations often have different venues and degrees of
security depending upon certain situations addressed by specific cases in the child welfare
system (Haight, Kagle & Black, 2003). Also, children tend to feed upon the positive
relationships with their parents or biological families for stress releases and life troubling
situations (Haight, Kagle & Black, 2003). Therefore, it can be understood that children and
parents rely upon communication from one another to survive in life in a non-stressful manner.
This is not to say that in certain instances children and parents would benefit more from being
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 15
separated, but rather to note that the majority of children and parents do benefit more from
communication with biological family.
According to Haight, Kagle and Black (2003),
in all social and cultural groups, children and primary caregivers develop affective
bonds and organized behaviors for relating in times of stress. These relationships emerge
over time and in conjunction with childrens and caregivers experiences (p. 3 para 2).
This quote does not however suggest in any way that a primary care giver must be a biological
parent or family member. This is possible because the child will select those to whom they feel
closest to as a primary care giver. If this is the case, when a child places a foster parent they are
living with in the role as their primary caregiver, but the foster parent ceases to accept this role or
is unaware of this role being place upon them, they will most likely not react to the situation and
act as primary care giver. In turn, the child may feel rejected and therefore possibly experience
solitude of oneself in a situation that may later affect the rest of their life. This is a serious issue
and, as the growing number of foster youth in the child welfare system increases, this issue must
become more important and addressed or prevented at earlier stages in a childs life.
Effects Communication has on Foster Youth after Aging Out of the System
It has often been said that a childs development in communication at a younger age sets
the foundation of their communication as adults. After examining the importance of
communication in biological families and the need for communication in foster families it was
found that communication is of extreme importance in a childs development to becoming a
successful adult (Weinberg, L., Weinberg, C., & Shea, 1997). As noted above in this
paper, most children from biological families have the parents and kin to use for assistance in life
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 16
when becoming a young adult. However, most foster children that age out of the system do not
have this support system.
In a study conducted in the Wisconsin area on youth that aged out of the system after 18
months and adults that aged out of the system after five years, the effects of not having a
parental or family safety net were extremely prevalent (Courtney, Piliavin, Grogan-Kaylor,
Nesmith, 2001). Of those former foster youth that aged out of the system after 18 months
nearly all reported some amount of need for communicative help. Most of the children after 18
months desired some sort of group or individual to fill the role of a traditional parent to
communicate with (Courtney et al., 2001). Those children that had been aged out of the system
for roughly five years experienced the same kind of troubles as those from the 18 month study.
However, some also suffered from psychological disorders and attachment disorders that were
much higher than when they were in the child welfare system (Courtney et al., 2001).
The study also looked at the difference in how race and gender played a role in the
development of adult life after leaving the child welfare system. African-Americans and
European-Americans were compared as well as males and females (Courtney et al., 2001). Most
of the children that were in a poverty state after leaving the child welfare system were African-
Americans and females. This was due to the still possible racial problems in American society
and that most women would have children to fulfill their attachment loss after leaving the child
welfare system (Courtney et al., 2001; Orme & Butler, 2001).
The number of foster home placements and length of time were also examined to better
understand how to help foster children transition to adulthood and aging out of the systems
(Keller, Crusick & Courtney, 2007). In a study conducted on former foster youth, it was found
that the majority of foster youth having trouble adjusting to life after aging out of the system
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 17
lived in five or more foster home placements. This is significant because it suggests that children
that move from foster home placement to foster home placement have little time to adapt and
understand the family structure of a home (Williams & Hughes, 2005). Therefore, hindering the
childs ability to learn effective communication skills form their foster parents (Brown et al.,
2007).
Attachment styles in former foster youth take on a unique perspective. That is to say
because of former foster youth having a lack of continuous parental support throughout the
younger years of their life, they will tend to seek to fulfill these needs later in their adulthood
(Iwaniee & Sneddon, 2001). In a follow-up study conducted 20 years after foster youth left the
child welfare system, individuals were asked to complete a survey similar to the one before
leaving the child welfare system. The survey examined whether the former foster youth had
developed any physical or mental illnesses that were associated with living in the child welfare
system that they had not developed before leaving the child welfare system (Iwaniee & Sneddon,
2001).
Developing and Sustaining a new style of the Child Welfare System
One thing that the child welfare system does not do is help a former foster youth
reconnect with biological family after leaving the child welfare system. In essence, making an
attempt to ask the former foster youth if they wish to have any reconnected ties with their
biological family after leaving the child welfare system is appropriate. This is important because
legally the youth is no longer under the custody of the state in most cases, but now have custody
of themselves as an adult. However, if the child welfare system believes that the youth has no
desire to reconnect with their biological family, or believe it is in the best interest of the youth to
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 18
remain away from the biological family, it would be understandable to not make an attempt to
reconnect youth with their biological family.
If it is not possible for the former foster youth and their biological family to have contact
after the foster youth leaves the child welfare system, something or someone must replace this
role. It is possible after having a strong connection with their former foster family that the former
foster youth may want to use this as a family mechanism after aging out of the child welfare
system. Foster parents must realize this when they decide to take upon the burden of allowing a
foster youth into their home (when taking a child they must plan to possibly have that child in
their home until they reach 18) (Sanchirico & Jablonka, 2000). As a foster parent, there is the
possibility that a foster youth may become more attached to the foster family over time rather
than their own biological family.
Adopted parents also fall into the situation that suggest them to remain close to their
child. When trained adopted parents are explained to that once they take on the burden of
becoming a foster parent their role as foster parents are to be committed to their new child
forever as if the child were their own biological child (Stams, Juffer & Van Ijzendoorn, 2002).
However, many adopted parents latter realize that maybe the child is not a correct fit for their
home, but this does not mean they should give up on the child. Biological children cannot be
traded in because they do not fit in the home and neither should foster youth.
Discussion
The importance of communication for all children, as well as foster youth, when growing
up in the home has been made significant in this paper. To prove this, many theories can be
applied for explanation. However, three in particular have the most significance for the direction
of this work; attraction theory, affection exchange theory, and relational framing theory.
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 19
Attachment theory is the most noticeable and many of the researchers have pointed out in their
studies the significance of this theory towards their own work.
Attraction theory is a communication theory that suggests individuals communicate
because they have or desire a sense of attraction to other individuals (Guerrero, 2008). Even
though this theory is usually directed to relationships or significant others, it can also apply to
attraction for other purposes. One of those purposes is parent-child attraction and, in relation to
foster parents and foster youth; this theory could suggest that foster youth seek communication
with parents whether they are biological, adopted, or foster to fulfill a need of attraction. If youth
do not fulfill this need, they may possibly suffer from communication problems and, in turn,
could develop psychological or communicative deficiencies as adults.
Attachment theory is described as a theory that suggest all humans have needs that must
be fulfilled and that all humans seek someone or a group to communicate with to fulfill these
needs. Children need more fulfillment in this area as they are learning how to develop their mind
and body to be prepared for a successful life. Therefore, children tend to desire more attachment
than adults do. However, if children do not fulfill this need when they are younger they are more
likely to continue to seek fulfillment later in life as adults.
In essence, attachment theory exists in relation to communication and parent-child
relations due to affection theory. For instance, if a potential foster parent has affection towards
helping youth without a family and want to be a family for them that foster parent would need to
create an exchange with the youth in relation to the setting. The foster parent will then, when
around the foster youth for an extended time, become attached to them in a parental manner.
Thus, creating the role as their parent, the same applies with biological parents and adoptive
parents. Foster youth suffer from this in many ways. If parents do not do this, then foster youth
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FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 20
tend to feel as if they are not wanted and will seek to find their affection elsewhere. Foster parent
also must understand that having a child in their home that needs an increased amount of
affection, they will have to produce affection at a much higher rate. Examples of this could be
telling the child how well they have done on something versus negative feedback. This may
come in the form of doing a chore and saying this looks really clean. The child will remember
this and try to recreate it in the future.
When an individual feels that they are not attached enough in the world, they feel if they
are separate from the world, almost like being in a bubble. However, an individual can have too
much attachment towards another person. Each individual has different needs and attachment
wants, some more than others. Parents must pay attention to this and look to understand the
amount of attachment their child may need.
As a former foster youth, I suffer from this all the time. Since, as a child my family was
not there for me, I tend to want others to be there for me now. Examples of this can be friends
and romantic partners. In fact, this caused problems in my past relationship as I desired more
attachment and closeness then my partner did. However, they felt guilty leaving me due to their
understanding of my needs, but felt it was best for the both of us.
Affection exchange theory, suggests that individuals communicate in order to fulfill a
need of affection to an individual. This is similar to attachment theory but not necessarily as
strong (Floyd, Judd & Hesse, 2001). Affection is seen in an array of different ways. Verbally it is
in the form of saying I love you to a partner. Non-verbally, it is holding hands or kissing a
partner. Indirectly it is doing something for a partner that you would not normally do; for
instance washing dishes even though you hate to wash them.
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As a former foster youth, this was probably the most significant part of my life I felt
missing. Ironically, I and my former foster mother are very close now, which came to me at first
in an odd light. However, I tried to look at the situation from her perspective and found that it
may be possible that most foster parents try not to get attached to their foster youth because if the
child leaves due to replacement with parents or adoption they feel as if they lost one of their own
children. However, in my situation after aging out of the system, I continue to go back to my
former foster home on my own accord. I believe that my foster mother noticed this as me
wanting to remain a part of her life; therefore she felt more at ease to have attachment to me and
more affection towards me. Sometime she seems to be more of a mother to me then to her own
biological children (at least from my vantage point). Also, having my foster mother lose her
husband to cancer and her own biological children being older and living own their own, she has
the opportunity to be closer to me. While living in her home I was the youngest child. So, it
seems as if I have taken the baby role in my family.
A third theory that can help explain foster youth and communication is known as the
relational framing theory. This theory states that individuals interpret messages as dominant-
submissive or afflictive-disafflictive (Soloman, & McLaren, 2008). Therefore, foster youth will
happen to communicate for dominate or submissive relational reasons, but also afflictive or
disafflictive reason. Essentially children communicate to create relational meaning with their
surroundings and if parent or foster parent does not effectively communicate with children in
their home the child may develop communication problems.
The most interesting item that I found in this paper and from the research was learning
the pressure put on the child welfare system, as the need for more developed plans and foster
homes become an increasing frequency due to the increase of youth in the child welfare system.
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However, I believe that this field has not gotten as much attention as it deserves, but it has begun
to become more significant within the last decade due to the increase of youth in the child
welfare system.
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