friends wrestle with disclosure dilemmanyx.uky.edu/dips/xt783b5w7793/data/15_70182_b5_1.pdfd am nth...
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www.kentuckynewera.com | TV | Wednesday, March 28, 2012 B5
3119-B Canton Pike, Hopkinsville, KY
270.881.1942“FREE Delivery and Carry Out”
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WEDNESDAY PRIMETIME MARCH 28, 2012 N - NEW WAVE M - MEDIACOM S1 - DISH NETWORK S2 - DIRECTV
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WGN News at Nine �� 30 Rock"Do-Over"�
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SportsCenter The day's news in the world of sports. ��
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Law & Order "Quit Claim" ��
Law & Order"Sundown" ��
Law & Order "Second Opinion" ��
Law & Order "Thinking Makes It So" ��
Law & Order "Seer" �� CSI: NY "YoungBlood" ��
CSI: NY "Manhattan Manhunt" ��
CSI: NY "Bad Beat" �� Leverage "The Long Way Down Job" �� 138 245
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(42) USA [49] NCIS "One Shot, One Kill" ��
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Conan The Office The Office Conan Seinfeld Seinf. "The Café" �� 139 247
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(56) SYFY [55] Ghost Hunters"Harvesting Murder" ��
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(73) DISC [37] 8:00 To Be Announced��
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Sons of Guns "Jesse James Gun"
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DEAR AMY: I have a fairlylarge group of friends I’veknown for more than 20 years.We would like the opinion ofan outsider.
Three years ago, a friend ofours, “Stan,” was killed in acar accident.
He was 41. Stan was gay andwe were all close with his part-ner, “Jim.”
In the two months before hisdeath, Stan told us he wasplanning on leaving Jim. Hesaid he no longer had any loveleft for him, and althoughsome of us encouraged him toconsider couples therapy, hismind was made up.
The only reason he didn’tbreak it off at that point wasbecause it was near the holi-days, and he apparently feltbreaking up with him thenwould just be too cruel.
He died a week after Thanks-giving.
Jim can’t move on. He hasbeen on a few dates, but sayshe always feels like he’s be-traying Stan. (They were to-gether for 10 years). He feelsStan was the love of his life,and no one can live up to hismemory. Amy, he is miserable.
We all care about him dearly,and love him, but we don’tknow what to do.
How do you tell someonethat the person they loved died
no longer loving them?Should we just let him be-
lieve the lie?Nothing
we’ve suggestedhas worked, noteven a griefsupport group.
Should we tellhim? And ifnot, what elsecan we do? —WorriedFriends
DEARFRIENDS: Youhave a certainamount of in-formation, butyou cannotknow whatlurks within the human heart.
You know what “Stan” saidto you, but you don’t knowwhat he might have done. Hedied as part of a couple. Hadhe lived, there is every possi-bility that he would havestayed in the relationship.
You telling “Jim” that hispartner didn’t love him couldserve no purpose: It might notbe true; he might not believeit; and it would likely create awedge in the relationships hehas with you at a time whenhe needs you.
Reassure Jim that Stanwould not have wanted him tobe stuck in this grief state.
Urge him to work with a coun-selor one on one (not in agroup).
DEAR AMY: Our daughteris getting married this fall,and an issue has come up re-garding inviting her ex-boyfriend.
They had a tough breakupseveral years ago. She wasdevastated, and now they don’tspeak. She is adamant that shedoes not want to invite him.
My wife and I are very closefriends with his parents andhave been for many years —even prior to our daughter dat-ing their son.
We fear that if we do not in-vite him it will be the end ofour friendship with his par-ents.
This has placed us in anawkward spot.
We love our daughter, butwere hoping she could put thebreakup behind her and ex-tend the invitation.
How can we resolve this? —Father of the Bride
DEAR FATHER: You andthis other couple have afriendship that predated theother relationship. And yourfriendship seems to have sur-vived the tough breakup andestrangement between theyounger couple.
The ex should not be invitedto the wedding, because the
prospective bride (and pre-sumably the groom) do notwant him to be there.
Additionally, it is hard toimagine that someone who nolonger speaks to your daugh-ter would expect to be invitedto her wedding.
You should count on yourfriends being mature enoughto understand that when itcomes to affairs of the heart,wise parents stay out of it.
This goes for you too. Let themarrying couple decide ontheir guest list and, if theolder couple has a questionabout the guest list, you can di-rect them to ask your daugh-ter.
DEAR AMY: “Too Young toFeel Old” was wrestling withwhat to call her middle-agedsweetheart. In our (African-American) culture, we use:“my man, my woman, or mylady.”
In informal settings, werefer to our men as “my baby.”— Michele
DEAR MICHELE: Thankyou — I like these options.
SEND QUESTIONS via email to [email protected] or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500,435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611. Amy Dickin-son’s memoir, “The Mighty Queens of Freeville: AMother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them”(Hyperion), is available in bookstores.
©2012 BY THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE
DEAR REV. GRAHAM: My unclehas become very absorbed withquestions about when the world isgoing to end. Why do you supposehe’s so fascinated by this? — Mrs. D.McK.
DEAR MRS. D.McK.: Only youruncle could answeryour question, ofcourse; I don’t knowwhy he focuses somuch on this matter.Some day, you mightask him, however; itwould be interestingto know if he has ananswer, or if he’s sim-ply drifted into thisstudy out of curiosityor as a hobby.
It’s not wrong tothink about the fu-ture; in fact, it’s farmore serious to ignore it. Some day,every one of us will die and stand be-fore God, and life’s greatest questionis whether or not we are prepared forthat day. .
Only by putting our faith and trustin Christ can we be prepared forthose events.
The Bible warns us against specu-lating about the future, because onlyGod knows when the world will end.
SEND YOUR QUERIES to “My Answer,” c/o Billy Graham, BillyGraham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Char-lotte, NC 28201; call 877-2-GRAHAM, or visit the website forthe Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.
©2012 BILLY GRAHAM
Friends wrestle with disclosure dilemma
ASKAMY
AMYDICKINSON n
MYANSWER
BILLYGRAHAM n
Only the Father knowswhen the world will end