LEADERSHIP LESSONS FROM MY 'SPECIAL' FRIEND PRANJAL

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From the Editor

WOW! This Issue features items that border on brilliance from a slew of new writers who have added zest and passion to their contributions. We introduce this Issue with an examination of leadership qualities and with a fine example of leadership in practice. We move on with a beautiful poem 'Angels Danced' which comes straight from her heart to yours. From here we go on to examine problems women face in the field of employment, particularly in the top tier. We are reminded that , in the f inal analysis, our lives are ours to manage and direct.

We go on to explore 'life skills' and how we can learn to avoid always being in a 'problem solving' mode. Another writer gets in a nostalgic mood prompted by the publication of her book “Black British”. From one of our regular contributors comes an emphasis on Hope with “A Better World Can Emerge”. For our finale we have 'Destiny's Favourite Child' an article that helps us try to understand the true purpose of our lives!

Enjoy and, once again, keep your contributions pouring in! Help keep Goanet-FEMNET in the frontline of international news magazines 'By Women – For Women'.

For The Editorial Team

FOUNDER

Joan Shenoy (Goa, India)

INDEX

Leadership Lessons from My 'Special' Friend Pranjal

Angel’s Danced

To Lean-In or Not to Lean-In

Here & Now

The Wonders of Technology that Connects Goan Women to Goan Women

A Good World Can Emerge

Destiny's Favourite Child

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melt. Not ones to be sold on emotion easily, they see so much of suffering themselves, the doctors would grill him on how this little gesture could make a difference. With patience and determination, he'd explain all the little initiatives that Rose Day enabled from providing gauze and cotton swabs to Shanti Avedhana Hospice to brightening up the pediatric ward with a Fish Tank; from goody bags for patients, to subsidizing chemo costs; Pranjal would convince them that the cause is worth it.

A fantastic team-player, Pranjal is not happy to win alone. He enjoys the support of his entire department and like all great leaders; he gives and enjoys a treat (chocolate cake) ;) when a goal is achieved.

Having been through a compendium of Leadership styles and studying them, I've been a keen observer of Pranjal. I was trying to 'typecast' him. That became a tall order!

For me, Pranjal is too big to fit into any typical mould. Born with less, he gives more. His attitude is gratitude. He's a super team player. He's respectful. He's the darling of his family and friends. His communication is spot on -- “This time I collected 28 thousand and 7 hundred and 30 Rs. for Rose Day and I have collected more than last year”, (reproduced verbatim via a WhatsApp). It's precisely efforts like his that add up to the big numbers. Pranjal values relationships and nurtures them. He's never afraid to live and love. He's made his own path.

For me, that's true Leadership! Pranjal Jain is one of my most precious lessons… one that I hold very close to my heart.

***

Having had the honour and privilege to dream up project Rose Day, a CPAA (Cancer Patients Aid Association) out-reach that brought cancer and its nasty grip into the consciousness of the general public, I quickly grew an able lieutenant Pranjal Jain to give of his heart to this project.

The son of an oncologist, Pranjal is special in just so many ways. He's outstanding! He jo ined CPAA (Cancer Pat ients A id Association) close to 9 years ago and soon discovered his life's purpose so to speak, under the nurturing presence of Anita Peters. Diligent and cheerful, his attendance is almost a 100 per cent. Working with the Awareness & Insurance Team in CPAA, Pranjal files, sorts, takes calls and is even one up on WhatsApp!

Come September or earlier when the Rose Day plan is unveiled, Pranjal's is the first hand to go up! He's always gung-ho, excited, enthusiastic, energetic. “I like the idea!” he'll say with a glint in his eyes. He's thinking, so, how are we going to make the patients happy this year?

With an unlikely sense of dare, Pranjal will ask, “What's the target?” and then answer to himself, “Yes! I can do it!” …Truth be told there is no extrinsic target, just intrinsic motivation. Each year from selling Roses to the 'Kiss of Life' buttons, that build solidarity and sponsorship for the cause of cancer, Pranjal would own the enterprise and want to up the target for himself.

Pranjal's impeccable manners make doors open for him. His infectious smile could make even the most hard-nosed doctor fraternity from Tata Memorial Hospital,

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Suzetta Advani (Goa, India)

A fashion-designer, dog-rescuer, seniors-sitter, Suzette is a Goa-based

creative spark whose poetry speaks heart-to-heart.

ANGELS DANCED

Angels danced,

And fairies sang,

That's how

My world began.

Clouds befriended

The birds above,

And there!

Were pictures of love.

People smiled

And the world was good,

There was no reason,

To wail or brood.

Yet melancholy

Adorned my soul,

The picturesque

A shattered whole.

Birds killed,

The fish beneath,

Man frowned,

And burned the fleet.

Disillusioned I paced

The streets of faith,

Falsity, the answer,

Deterred my gait

I glanced around

Below the sky,

Angels walked,

This is no lie.

I looked within

And found my heart

The hearth to rest,

My mingled past.

For real,

Is a story apart,

Fairies sing

Just in your heart.

TO LEAN-IN OR NOT TO LEAN-IN

Betty Pires (Hampstead Heath, U.K.)

Elizabeth Pires has had a 40-year career in the financial services industry, working with such major international institutions as Lloyds

Bank International, Citi, and The Chase Manhattan Bank. In 1983 she became a key member of the Team that established Investcorp, the

global investment bank. Elizabeth recently retired after a 33-year career with Investcorp. When she isn't travelling the world, she and her family

make their home in London.

comments in their entirety, carefully, he seemed to be making some valid points. What he went on to say was that many women simply wanted to be happy and do great work. Their ambition is not a 'vertical ambition.' It is an intrinsic 'circular ambition'. Rather than 'vertical ambition' —clawing their way to the top (which typically brings bigger pay packages but longer hours) — those with 'circular ambition' seek a decent work-life balance and the happiness that being productive and experience brings.

Sheryl Sandberg, the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook Inc. in her 2013 bestselling book “Lean In” exhorted women to throw themselves at every promotion, grasp at every opportunity for power and shove themselves up that corporate ladder in their stiletto shod feet. But lots of women don't want to smash any glass ceilings. They would rather do a fulfilling job, which allows them the time to do other things that they enjoy and a chance to see their families more. Yet, to value family over professional advancement is directly at odds with prevailing social pressures. Quite often the decision to take a more balanced approach is perceived to be a sad and unfortunate choice. There is no doubt that women face challenges in the work place. Women generally get paid less than men for doing the same job. They are considered “not nice” when they are aggressive whereas men are considered go-getters when they display the same trait. When top leadersh ip ta lent is ev ident in individuals of either sex, it should be given a chance. But it isn't always that women can be sidelined. That needs to be fixed. But Lean-In forgets that all women do not want to be like men. If “leaning in” does not suit us, we don't have to. Our lives are ours to manage and direct.

I was recently invited to be part of a panel discussion on Women in the Workplace. McKinsey and Company, the global consulting firm, together with the LeanIn Organization had surveyed the issues women faced in the workplace and their conclusion was that women remain under-represented across organizations at every level of the corporate pipeline, with the disparity greatest at senior levels of leadership. The study found that for numerous reasons, women are simply less likely than men to advance: they experience an uneven playing field, with their odds of advancement lower at every level; there is a persistent leadership gap in the most senior roles; gender diversity is not widely believed to be a priority; and while employee programs designed to help balance work and family are abundant, participation is low because women feel that taking the family leave they are entitled to will negatively impact their careers. Another McKinsey report finds $12 trillion could be added to global GDP by 2025 by advancing women's equality. So this gender disparity has big implications for global growth. At the corporate level, there is strong evidence that diversified senior management committees bring a gender dividend, with greater shareholder value and enhanced productivity. On a more personal level, as a mother of a professional working daughter, this disparity concerns me.

It set me thinking. Do we women lack killer corporate ambition as Meryl Streep feared in The Devil Wears Prada. Do more men than women become CEOs and CFOs because, quite frankly, women prefer a more balanced life? The Executive Chairman of Saatchi and Saatchi was recently forced into “gardening leave” for claiming that women lacked ambition and were not held back by sexism. Needless to say, the PC brigade exploded in a blind fury at his comments. But reading his

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Renuka Mendes (Goa, India)

Renuka Mendes is a retired Employee of Cathay Pacific Airways Ltd. from Mumbai. In her last position as Regional Customer Sales Manager S.Asia, she has been especially involved in People Management. She has travelled widely

during her 31 years tenure with the Company. She has two daughters living in different parts of the world, while she has chosen Goa as home after her retirement.

HERE & NOW

perceive situations, people or challenges I have faced. Trust me, I've had my fair share. This continues to be work in progress, as I experience the benefits in my day to day life.

Our mind is like a problem solving machine, wanting to figure out everything and now. It's great the way it can simulate the future, reflect on the past and solve problems. We don't want to get rid of that. However, I found it tiring to be constantly in the problem solving mode. This drew me to, tools and techniques that would help me find time in the day to silence my mind and actually live in the moment. I call it my ''Mindfulness Box”.

Here are some snatches from my everyday routine. I'm sure you'll have yours!

Ÿ I need to be mindful of my tendency to react instead of respond. This especially with close family and friends. Often, a well considered after- thought could be a better idea or course of action. Also, could be less hurtful to others.

Ÿ My time! Where does it go? I need to be

mindful about prioritising tasks to be more productive at the end of the day.

Ÿ I need to be mindful of my sub-conscious mind ramble. Phew! It takes me to bleak places especially when I'm indecisive and anxious. Imagine if I would consciously focus my energy on taking action when possible OR simply letting go

I am sure many of us can relate with these situations and yes! I agree it's easier said than done.

In my case, the daily practice of Yoga, Meditation and practicing Mindfulness has shown me the way of connecting with the present moment and actually finding joy in simple tasks, experiences and relating to people's strengths. It is an entirely fulfilling journey, full of surprises and discovery. It worked for me in my career leading a team. It's working for me in my personal life. So many rich relationships to treasure!

Know something, I chose Mindfulness as my best friend and there's no looking back.

Recently I came a c r o s s a q u o t e

which said “Be so busy improving yourself that you have no time to criticise others”. A profound statement. As someone who has a lways been interested in the subject of 'life skills', this triggered some thoughts which I wish to share in my first article for FEMNET.

Just so that we are on the same page, in simple terms, 'Life skills' refers to skills you need to make the most of your life. Life skills are usually associated with managing and living a better quality of life.

There is no definitive list of life skills, as certain skills may be more or less relevant to you, depending on your beliefs, life's circumstances, your culture, age, geographic location, etc. Yet, in my view, we are quite similar in our humanity when we deal with life's challenges.

What has helped me over the years, is constantly working on the way I think,

a journey that must have been, the details of which have been lost in the annals of time.

However, it doesn't take too much imagination to connect the dots of pedal power, row and sail boats, bullock carts, further pedal power and the will and determination to make it to

a place where they thought they could succeed.

And succeed they did. Tremendously. Superlatively. Scrumptiously.

The sudden and early demise of my grandfather in 1925 coupled with the almighty distance between Kanpur and the mother lode made connections between the two tenuous, something that eventually petered out. My family became subsumed in the ways of the Empire. Thank God we stubbornly clung to our name.

I grew up in Kanpur in the 1960s with a determined knowledge of my Goan ancestry and grateful for a name that gave evidence to our claim. However, my family

led a very English life. We spoke only one language with no prizes for guessing which. Around the piano we sang English folk and traditional songs along with Hollywood musicals of an earlier era. Sundays meant roast dinners, even during brutal summers. On Christmas evenings we saturated the pudding with brandy and made wishes as we burnt the vapours. The winter garden was a replica of the Chelsea Flower Show with roses, larkspurs, snapdragons… you get the picture.

Since leaving Kanpur and indulging in a peripatetic life I've met a myriad of misconceptions about life in India. Now living in the fertile Northern Rivers of New South Wales I entertain friends around the campfire with stories of my childhood. With one tale too many I realised there's a gap in the literature that's talks about India. And that was the impetus to pen Black British, a book that closely follows my life growing up in Kanpur in the 1960s.

In my next story I'll tell you about my first visit to Aldona, the land of my ancestors where I connected with my roots and discovered feni!

Having published my first novel Black British in June it became beholden on me to undertake various activities to promote my book. At Port Macquarie (NSW) a lovely journalist was generous with print media coverage of my event that was also published on the net.

Eddie Fernandez in the UK, of Goan Voice fame, picked up the article, messaged me on 'LinkedIn’ and included a snippet in his newsletter.

From there Betsy Pinto-Nunes e-mailed me and here I am, in touch with other Goan women around the world and enjoying their stories. From little things big thing grow!

My family come from Aldona in Bardez. With development stymied under the Portuguese and looking for a more prosperous life, my grandfather left Goa in the latter part of the nineteenth century and moved 1600 kilometres north to Kanpur, which, at the time, was British India. As I tell it in my book, what

Hebe D'Souza (New South Wales, Australia)

THE WONDERS OF TECHNOLOGY THAT CONNECTS GOAN WOMEN TO GOAN WOMEN

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Sister Thecla Pereira (Goa, India)

There are a dozen ways to deal with evil and several ways to conquer it. It is not about whether the world is good or not, whether we live in an ethical and moral world or not but it is about whether you want to be peaceful or not. Even if you have been cheated the previous day, but peace is what you seek, then you do not have a choice but to wake up every day and trust this world all over again

It is said those who hate light attack it. The attack is always subtle sudden and deadly, the only ultimate ways to conquer evil is to let it me smothered within in and to bring out what is good in people and communities of people, At the end of the day it is about compassion and it is only compassion that will enable us to transform the negative cycle

think that only others need to be cleansed, purified, and do not recognize that their weariness, pain and wounds are also the weariness, pain and wounds of society. The Lord tells us this clearly with a sign: he washes our feet so we can come back to the table. The table from which he wishes no one to be excluded. The table which is spread for all and to which all of us are invited

God wants us to know that life is a series of beginnings, not endings. Just as graduations are not terminations, but commencements. Creation is an ongoing process, and when we create a pe r f e c t wo r l d whe re l ove and compassion are shared by all, suffering will cease.

A good world can emerge only if there are enough people strong enough to challenge it and people who develop a vision of what is genuinely good. Our efforts should be to create and challenge the apathy towards life especially of people who are looked down upon by the so called superior people or the self justified

It's been so encouraging to read the article on this Sunday’s Navhind times, Panorama the Sunday Reading Journal “Breaking Bondages, renewing lives. By Danuska Da Gama NT Network highlighting the work done by the Prison Ministry in an attempt to reform inmates, throw light on the importance of giving a second chance.

It is wonderful to say, people like you who respond to this type of problems, remind us that there are still good people in the world. As people of good will we know that through opportunities we use well like “the pen is mightier than the sword” God recreates the world and the lives of people. In their dark times, the ministry ensures that the prisoner knows that they are not alone, but have good people as their friends and confidants. Through their various endeavours they make the prisoner feel worthy when society has judged them worthless

A GOOD WORLD CAN EMERGE

experience. So focussed had I been on the future, that I just stopped paying attention to the here and now.

Thankfully, I seem to have finally come to my senses and recognise the blessing that is my life. I am learning to be grateful for the people and incidents in it. They are God's way of communicating with me and making me the person that I am meant to be - compassionate, humble and grateful.

Life's knocks are sometimes essential to make you stop and catch your breath. They are meant to make you notice things around you. So, don't focus on the pain, but on what it is teaching you. Take a good look and you will realise that each of us is immensely blessed. It may not be what we wanted or even expected, but it's what our Maker intended for us. And, the Supreme one knows what's best for us. Each time our heads bow and our hands join in a prayer, let it be with gratitude for what we

have been given, which is everything we will ever need.

Just remember that each of us is: Destiny's Favourite Child!

I have often heard, "We get w h a t w e deserve" and believe that it's true. Then I recently read, "If you really w a n t

something with all your heart, even the Universe works to make it happen for you". An interesting concept and one that I have come to believe in too.

However, it has taken me more than half my life to realise that I may not always know what I want or what may be good for me. With that is also a realization that I already have all that I need to be happy. Unfortunately, I had not stopped to take stock and was simply running after what I believed I needed. That is not need, but greed. It is also a reality check and an extremely humbling

Arti Kamat (Mumbai, India)

Arti Kamat describes herself as a passionate individual. She is a Goan who has made a career and life in the travel industry in Mumbai. She is presently working with Cathay Pacific Airways. When not working, she likes to

travel and spend time with her parents, siblings and three nephews, in Goa

DESTINY'S FAVOURITE CHILD

Life means “getting our feet dirty” from the dust-filled roads of life and history. All of us need to be cleansed, to be washed. All of us are being sought out by the Teacher, who wants to help us resume our journey. The Lord goes in search of us; to all of us he stretches out a helping hand. It is painful when we see prison systems which are not concerned to care for wounds, to soothe pain, to offer new possibilities. It is painful when we see people who