SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID

 1 ) Tech Support    : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."        Customer    : "Ok."

     Tech Support   : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

     Customer    : "No."     Tech Support   : "Ok. Right click again. Do

you   see a pop-up menu?"      Customer    : "No."

     Tech Support    : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what  you have done up   until this point?"      Customer    : "Sure, you told me to write

'click'   and I wrote 'click'."  

2) Customer    : "I received the software update  you sent, but I am still getting the

same error  message."       Tech Support    : "Did you install the

update?"        Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to

install it  to get it to work?"

      3)Customer   : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

     Tech Support   : "Tell me what you've done."     Customer    : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."

     Tech Support   : "Ma'am, remove the disk and     tell me what it says."

     Customer   : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore   and Recovery disk'."

      Tech Support     : "Insert the MS Word setup   disk."

     Customer     : "What?"      Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

    Customer: "No..."

     4).Customer   : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

     Tech Support   : ?!%#$   (welll pretend to smile)

     5).Tech Support    : "Ok, in the bottom left hand   side of the screen, canyou see

the 'OK' button displayed?"      Customer    : "Wow. How can you see

my screen from   there?"

     Tech support   :  ##### ***

6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"

     Customer   : "A white one."     Tech support  :  ******_____####

7). Tech Support   : "What operating system are  you running?"

     Customer   : "Pentium."

    Tech support    :  ////-----+++

8). Customer   : "My computer's telling me I   performed an illegal abortion."

     Tech support   :  ??????

     9).Cus tomer   : "I have Microsoft Exploder."

     Tech Support  : ?!%#$

10).Customer    : "How do I print my voicemail?"

       Tech support   :  ??????

11). Customer   : "You've got to fix my computer.  I urgently need to print document, but the computer

     won't boot properly."

    Tech Support    : "What does it say?"

    Customer   : "Something about an error and non-system disk."

    Tech Support   : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

    Customer   : "No, but there's a sticker saying  there's an Intel inside."

   Tech support   :  @@@@@

12). Tech Support: "Just call us back if  there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

     Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

13). Tech Support   : "What does the screen say  now?"

     Customer   : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

     Tech Support   : "Well?"

     Customer   : "How do I know when it's ready?"

   Tech support   :  *** ---- ++++

14). A plain computer illiterate   guy rings   tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

     Tech: What's the problem?

     User: There is smoke coming out of the power  supply.      Tech:   (keep quite)

     Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

     User: No, I don't! I just need to change the   startup files.

     Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll  need to replace it

     User: No way! Someone told me that I just  needed to change the startup and it will fix the       problem! All I need is for you to tell me the  command.

     Tech support::

     10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.    

     Tech support::(hush hush)    Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our   customers this, but there is an undocumented

DOS     command that will fix the problem.

     User: I knew it!

     Tech   : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKECOM at     the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let  me know how it goes.

     10 minutes later.

     User   : It didn't work. The power supply is  still smoking.

     Tech    : Well, what version of DOS are you using?

     User   : MS-DOS 6.22.

     Tech   : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft

    and ask them for a patch that will give you the  file. Let me know how it goes.

    1 hour later.

    User  : I need a new power supply.

    Tech support   : How did you come to that conclusion?    

     Tech support  :  (hush hush)

     User   : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him   about what you said, and he started asking questions

     about the make of power supply.

     Tech: Then what did he say?

     User: He told me that my power supply isn't   compatible with NOSMOKE.

  15) customer care officer:I need a product  identification number  right now and may I help u in

       finding it out?

     Cust: sure

     CCO: could u left click on start and do u find  'My Computer'?

     Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I  find your computer? Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette

out.

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, nothing happens, it must be

really stuck. Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it

yet...it's still on my desk... sorry .

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the

left of the screen. Customer: Is that your left or my left?

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me

and..... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting

technical onme! I'm not Bill Gates damn it !

Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'.

I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of

the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find

it...

Customer: I have problems printing in red ... Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me inthe supermarket.

Helpdesk: And now hit F8. Customer: It's not working.

Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly? Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you

told me, butnothing's happening.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces

back. Customer: OK

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that one does work!

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in

apple, a Capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

A customer couldn't get on the Internet: - Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right

password? Customer: Yes I'm sure. I watched my colleague

do it. Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password

was? Customer: Five stars.

Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape. Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus

program. Customer: Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed screensaver on my

computer, butevery time I move the mouse, it

disappears !

Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech Support, may I help you? Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hoursfor you. Can You please tell me how long it will take beforeyou can help me? Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem? Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the helpbutton more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?

Helpdesk: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter " a ", but how do I

get the circle around  

LIFE IS FUN

JUST KEEP SMILING