1. You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.2. Now we know why some animals eat their own children.3. Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.4. Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.5. If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murderit would be an apocalypse!6. This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.7. I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?8. When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.9. A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.10. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.11. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.12. Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?13. Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.14. Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.15. Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?16. He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.17. I bet you get bullied a lot.18. I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.19. I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.20. I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.21. I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.22. I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.23. I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.24. I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.25. I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion.26. I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.27. I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass.28. If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid.29. I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.30. I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.31. I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.32. Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.33. People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.34. She's the first in her family born without tail.35. That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.36. There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.37. What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.38. Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.39. What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?40. You are not even beneath my contempt.41. You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.42. You grow on people, but so does cancer.43. You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.44. You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.45. You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.46. Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained.47. You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.

1. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent! 2. He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome. 3. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? 4. I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks? 5. At least there's one thing good about your body. It isn't as ugly as your face! 6. Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing 7. Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head! 8. I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you. 9. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? 10. If I had a face like yours. I'd sue my parents! 11. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental! 12. Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance? 13. Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent! 14. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you? 15. Don't think, it may sprain your brain! 16. Fellows like you don't grow from trees; they swing from them. 17. He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning. 18. He has a mind like a steel trap, always closed! 19. You are a man of the world and you know what sad shape the world is in. 20. He is always lost in thought it's unfamiliar territory. 21. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion? 22. He is known as a miracle comic. if he's funny, it's a miracle! 23. He is listed in Who's Who as What's That? 24. He is living proof that man can live without a brain! 25. He is so short, when it rains he is always the last one to know. 26. He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot. 27. How come you're here? I thought the zoo is closed at night! 28. How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open? 29. How much refund do you expect on your head now that it's empty. 30. How would you like to feel the way you look? 31. Hi! I'm a human being! What are you? 32. I can't talk to you right now; tell me, where will you be in the next 10 years? 33. I don't want you to turn the other cheek; it's just as ugly. 34. I don't know who you are, but whatever you are, I'm sure everyone will agree with me. 35. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. 36. I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit? 37. I can't seem to remember your name, and please don't help me! 38. I don't even like the people you're trying to imitate, if you are at all. 39. I know you were born silly, but why did you have a relapse? 40. I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame! 41. I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be! 42. I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission! 43. Why are you so stupid today? Anyway, I think that's very typical of you. 44. Do u practice being this ugly?

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.Chuck Norris can drown a fish.Chuck Norris can play the violin with a pianoWhen Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life unless it gets in his way. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, Bang! In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds. With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit. The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death. When you say no ones perfect, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.