Generations and Generational Processes

Marriage and Family RelationsHPER F258

Part 1

Generations--private history

"It might be correct to say that there are three times, a present of past things, a present of present things and a present of future things. . . Thepresent of past things is the memory; the present of present things is direct perception; and the present of future things is expectation." -- St.Augustine

The Power of Generations

Some aspects of generations are permanent.Although some parts of generational connections are changeable, we generally don’t change them.Generational influences begin at the beginning of life.

Generational Processes Are:

BiologicalEmotionalIntellectualDevelopmentalInterpersonalExperiential

Generational Processes Principle

When generational processes are healthy, families are more likely to meet their goals.

Generational Alliances

Connections and boundaries between subsystemsCoalitions -- alliances in the face of threat, real or imaginedCoalitions are formed in the face of threat. Alliances, generally, form because of shared interests.

Generational Alliance Principle (from text)

It is helpful in family systems to have clear-cut generational boundaries about such things as leadership, responsibility, support, and emotional feelings. Clear boundaries helps the adults and children develop in healthy waysCross-generational alliances and coalitions tend to lead to emotional and interpersonal difficulties for the adults and children.

Generational Transmission

Style of life tends to be transmitted to each new generationThis transmission begins at birth and may be consciously or unconsciously transmitted to childrenTends to be powerfully influential because it starts so early in life.

Generational Transmission Principle

Families with more functional, healthy generational processes tend to transmit those family styles to their children and those children are more likely to develop functional, healthy family life.

The same is true for less functional and healthy generational processes.

Transitional Character (Broderick)

A transitional character changes the direction of his or her family in a single generation –Removing or reducing undesirable generational effects

These changes are not necessarily major (e.g., having more structure in your adult family than you had as a child because you feel you were left on your own too much)

Deciding where to be a transitional character

Start by looking for strengths in your family.Then, talk about:

What you want to maintainWhat you want to changeWhat you want to remove completelyWhat you would like to add

Emotional cutoffs don't work (Bowen)

Avoiding your family to avoid “ugly” situationsDistancing yourself from your family emotionallyThis can lead to an emotional vacuum, where you feel emotionally cut off from others, in general.You may end up unable to trust yourself to open up to others, or desperate for any relationship to substitute

Methods for Positive Change

Be deliberateMaintain distinctive family rituals Emotional distance (but not emotional cutoff)Marry/start your family later than average

Read good books about family lifeJoin helpful organizationsGet an educationDevelop a philosophy of life

Creating Healthy Generational Alliances

Family meetingsParents maintain a social life outside the familyAddress unfinished business (Boszormenyi-Nagy)

Invisible loyalties – ethical obligations and loyalties to preceding generations

Intergeneration Relationships – Facilitated Article Discussion

In small group, you will be discussing reading #33, “Roles of American Indian Grandparents in Times of Cultural Crisis” Discuss your thoughts on the role of these grandparents, particularly in relation to the sharing of beliefs. Also, discuss your thoughts about the generational alliance principle in relation to these grandparents and their grandchildren.

END OF PART 1