gentle words for you on valentine's day

Gentle Words For You

On Valentine's Day

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http://LewisJamesJordan.com

George Carlin gave a talk significantly

about words in his comedy acts. You can

find much truth of the matter to his belief

that what we choose is a bad or good word

is typically arbitrary and makes no sense.

Individuals can in general agree on words

that hurt, but why don't you consider words

that induce or are made to help make

somebody wrong bad or not good enough?

Knowing these words and modifying them, may also help your interpersonal

relationships be a little more caring. In addition, since we all speak with

ourselves, sometimes called, “self talk” or affirmations, what you say to yourself

really matters too.




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Provoking words are usually

judgmental words that are set up

to try and get yourself or someone

else, feel wrong, bad or not

suitable, deliberately or not.

Below are a few examples:








1. SHOULD Remember every one of the times you may remember a person letting

you know that you “should” do something. We get to hear this day by day

from mates, fellow workers, mom and dad, partners, or significant

others. Are you able to recall one time that the word made you feel really

good? Examples: “You should be a much better person.” “I should hang

out with my kids.” “I should exercise more.” “You should drive somewhat

slower honey.” Can you see the feeling that this word creates in you?

Recognize that this doesn't feel good. When talking with yourself or

others you might feel better by changing the word could or would for the

word should or if you may even rebuild the concept all together to be

nonjudgmental. Should is a judgment word that creates someone wrong

and won't feel great no matter how you use it.








2. WHY Once we use the word why we frequently are putting ourselves or a

different person in a defensive position. It is implying that you need

to defend yourself. Should it feel good to defend yourself? Does it

feel good any time you make someone else defend themselves? We

can make inquiries that will not induce feeling of defense. Examples:

“Why did you do that?” “Why did you hurt me?” “Why can’t you see

what your doing?” How about, “I would wish to understand you

better.” “What I hear you saying.” “I feel there might be a

unawareness.” How do those statements have you feeling?








3. YOU Quite often once we use the word you we are defining a

person, or leading a person. Examples: “You are a bad…”,

“When are you going to…”,“You think you’re so smart…” Use

the word I or We as frequently as you can. This normally places

the responsibility back on yourselves or produces shared

obligation and has a tendency to maintain individuals not on

the defensive which is a place you wouldn't like to be in a

relationship.








As an alternative to Always or Never use Sometimes.

“You always do that to me!” vs. “Sometimes that bothers me.”

Most often while we are talking to an individual and informing

them they always or never take action we are using an

absolute that is not true but made to make the other person

wrong, shut them down, leave competition or defensiveness.

None of these form trust and intimacy in a relationship with

someone else or with ourselves.








4. FAULT Fault is a word which makes a feeling that for most, does not feel

good. Liability is often a better way of revealing someone’s

choice then using Fault. Fault implies that you possess the

power to make someone wrong. Any time you hear the word

Fault, does not that feel horrible? "It was your fault that you left

the windows open, now everything is wet!” Vs. “It was your

obligation to close the car windows.”








No one wants to be intimate or vulnerable to anyone they are

in competition with. That seems like a battle. When we judge

we put another or ourselves in the unhealthy position of being

wrong, bad or not good enough. When we trigger someone

that we love, who are we really hurting? The response are

available by picking up a mirror.

A discerning heart is a loving heart. Choose your words very

carefully with a gentle heart and a loving spirit this Valentines

Day and every day.






Dr Jordan focuses on a vast majority of

psychological disorders in his Florida therapy

practice and he specializes in Anxiety Disorders,

Depression, PTSD, Anger Management, Personality

Disorders, Addiction therapy, Couples and Marriage

Counseling and others. Please visit his sites regularly,

http://JordanTherapy.com and

http://LewisJamesJordan.com for more information.






gentle words for you on valentine's day

Spiritual