Get To Know Your Presidents

A Look At The Men Who Make America

Works Cited:Kelly, Martin. The Everything American Presidents Book. Boston: Adams Media, 2007.

Spignesi, Stephen. Grover Cleveland’s Rubber Jaw and Other Unexpected, Unbelievable, but All-True Facts About America’s Presidents. New York: Penguin Group, 2012.

Part I: Presidents of the “Age of Reason”

O 1789-1825O Era inspired by

EnlightenmentO Representative

Authors: Thomas Paine, Benjamin Franklin

O Major Historical Events: Revolutionary War, War of 1812

1: George Washington

The Good:As first president, Washington set the

standard for success; he worked hard to avoid any division within the nation and advocated international

neutrality.

The Bad:Washington’s nickname from Native

Americans was “Devourer of Villages.” He was notorious for

ruthless aggression against Iroquois.

The Weird:Washington’s false teeth were not

made out of wood; they were made out of human teeth taken from dead

soldiers and attached to carved hippopotamus bone.

2: John AdamsThe Good:

John Adams prevented a major war with France, which we likely would

have lost, by virtue of shrewd diplomacy.

The Bad:Adams was responsible for the “Alien

and Sedition” acts, which limited freedom of speech and immigration.

He also was the lawyer who DEFENDED the British soldiers

responsible for the Boston Massacre!

The Weird:Adams HATED Jefferson, who was his vice president. His spiteful and angry

last words were “Jefferson still survives!” Weird reality is that he

actually died the same day, five hours earlier!

3: Thomas JeffersonThe Good:

A humble president, Jefferson only ever gave two speeches: his

inaugural addresses. His most important accomplishment as

president was the Louisiana Purchase, where he bought the west side of our

continent for 35 cents an acre. The Bad:

Jefferson’s hypocrisy is well known. Despite championing man’s

“inalienable rights” of life and liberty, he also owned many slaves.

The Weird:Jefferson loved to read and had over 10,000 books, but he also loved to

eat. Jefferson was the first person to bring French Fries to the U.S, which he called “Potatoes served in the

French manner.”

4: James MadisonThe Good:

A great foreign statesman, Madison’s most notable feat is

declaring war on Britain in the war of 1812. Though the war ended in a stalemate, the US was finally free

of economic dependence on Britain.

The Bad:The war of 1812 was not very popular at first. Many of the

southern states threatened to secede from the union due to “Mr.

Madison’s War.” The Weird:

Madison was a tiny man. He was only 5 feet, four inches tall and

weighed only 100 pounds as president.

5: James MonroeThe Good:

Monroe’s presidency became known as the “Era of Good Feelings.” He was

extremely popular and ran for presidency unopposed during his second term. His most famous accomplishment is the Monroe

Doctrine, which said that no European power would ever expand into the

Western Hemisphere. The Bad:Monroe struggled to deal with issues of race and racism in America. He was a

leader in the “Send ‘Em Home” movement, which shipped 1.8 million blacks back to Africa. He named the destination “Liberia” and its capital

Monrovia. It still exists.The Weird:

When Monroe left the presidency, he was broke. He sold all of his slaves and all of his property to pay off his debts.

Part II: Presidents of American Romanticism

O 1825-1861O Reaction to Industrial

Revolution and Enlightenment

O Representative Authors: Washington Irving, Edgar Allan Poe, Henry David Thoreau

O Major Historical Events: Westward Expansion of Gold Rush and Manifest Destiny

6: John Quincy Adams

The Good:Almost nothing. This man was a

terrible president.The Bad:

He earned the presidency via scandal. His friend Henry Clay ran

as a third party to keep rival Jackson from winning majority, then ceded

his followers’ votes to Adams. Adams never had the support of congress or American people.

The Weird:Adams swam naked in the Potomac every day. He had a pet alligator in the white house tub. He was a slob.

His clothes were dirty and unwashed, and he abused his children. One killed himself,

another drank himself to death.

7: Andrew JacksonThe Good:

Under Jackson, the U.S. Government was completely debt free for the first

and ONLY time in U.S. history! The Bad:

Jackson was a stern, arrogant president. His bullying of southern

states is often cited as an early catalyst to the inevitable Civil War.

He also was one of the cruelest presidents towards Native

Americans, ordering 15,000 Cherokees to leave Georgia on the

“Trail of Tears.”The Weird:

Jackson had a bullet lodged near his heart for nearly 40 years due to a duel. He often coughed blood and

frequently cut himself to relieve the pain.

8: Martin Van BurenThe Good:

Van Buren had an unremarkable presidency.

The Bad: Van Buren’s presidency is primarily marked by an economic depression called “The Panic,” which resulted

from Jackson’s overly strict restrictions on banks. Van Buren

received much negative criticism for often hosting lavish parties during

this depression.The Weird:

You can thank Van Buren for the expression “okay.” He was

nicknamed “Old Kinderhook” due to his hometown. It shortens to OK. His average presidency became attached

to the OK abbreviation, hence its modern usage.

9: William Henry HarrisonThe Good:

Nothing. He only was president for one month.

The Bad: Nothing. He only was president

for one month. The Weird:

Harrison gave the longest inaugural address in history

outside during a snowstorm. He became ill shortly afterwards and died of pneumonia. Many

believe he was cursed for slaughtering Native Americans at

Tippecanoe.

10: John TylerThe Good:

As the first “successor” president, he proved that the “successor”

could act with as much authority as the deposed. This was an important precedent. He also

annexed Texas.The Bad:

He really did not do much badly. His cabinet resigned when he took over because they only supported Harrison, but he simply replaced

them all. The Weird:

Tyler was a fertile fellow. He had 15 children. After being president, he joined the Confederacy during

the Civil War and was buried under a confederate flag when he died.

11: James K PolkThe Good:

Polk is most associated with the term “Manifest Destiny,” which is

the belief that it was destiny for the U.S to stretch from Atlantic to

Pacific. He annexed Washington and Oregon.The Bad:

Polk took the idea of Manifest Destiny very seriously; he went to

war with Mexico and fought them for two years in order to gain California and Nevada. He reduced Mexico by

50% of its size.The Weird:

Polk had chronic diarrhea every day of his administration as president. He also insisted on carrying around

all of his money every day in a briefcase; he was afraid of banks.

12: Zachary TaylorThe Good:

Not much to say here. Taylor was only president for one year. Taylor was president during

tension between north and south and asserted his belief that there

would be no new slave states and that the south would not

secede but never got the chance to prove it.The Bad:

He died because he ate tainted cherries and milk in a time when food sanitation was very poor.

The Weird:Taylor spoke with a stutter and

spat tobacco juice all over White House carpets.

13: Millard FillmoreThe Good:

Fillmore was important in opening burgeoning American economic growth into eastern

Asia by establishing peace with Japan.The Bad:

Fillmore’s legacy will always be the deplorable Fugitive

Slave Act, which required the government to return escaped slaves to their masters in the

south. The Weird:

Fillmore married his own high school English teacher and was the first president to

establish a library in the White House.

14: Franklin Pierce

The Good:Pierce purchased a large stretch of land which is now Arizona and

New Mexico; this purchase completed the current

boundaries of the United States.The Bad:

Pierce was an ineffectual drunk whose support of Kansas-

Nebraska act and proslavery sentiments may have expedited

the arrival of the Civil WarThe Weird:

Pierce was known to faint when he got nervous. He once was

arrested for running over a woman while he was president.

He had Tuberculosis and was frequently spitting up blood.

15: James Buchanan

The Good:I cannot find anything good about this

man.The Bad:

His support of the Dred Scott case in which the Supreme Court ruled slaves to

be property and prevented congress from excluding slavery, may have

singlehandedly started the Civil War. He hung anti-abolitionist John Brown after

his attack on Harper’s Ferry, and ignored Confederate violence. When he left

office, the south seceded from the Union. The Weird:

He was the only president to never marry; in fact, most historians agree that he was gay. He once wrote, “I have gone a wooing to several gentlemen,” and had a 23-year relationship with Pierce’s Vice

President.

Part III: Presidents of American Realism

O 1861-1913O Inspired by

brutality of Civil War

O Representative Writers: Ambrose Bierce, Jack London, Stephen Crane

O Major Historical Events: Civil War

16: Abraham Lincoln

The Good:In September 1862, Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves in Confederate states still at war. Notice: that does NOT free all slaves.

Oh, and he ended the Civil War. The Bad:

The reality is that the South seceded from the union because Lincoln was elected as

president. He also wasn’t the humanitarian many think he was. He moved thousands of

Indians from their homes to reservations in the Homestead Act. He personally oversaw the deaths of over 2,000 Indians during a

variety of raids, massacres, and removals. The Weird:

Abraham Lincoln was an exceptional wrestler. As a teenager, he lost only one of 300 matches. He is in the Wrestling Hall of

Fame.

17: Andrew Johnson

The Good:Johnson had the tough task of

rebuilding America after Lincoln was killed. He did ratify the 13th

amendment, which made slavery illegal, though he apparently had

slaves himself. The Bad:

Not very bright and remarkably unpopular, Congress tried to impeach Johnson in 1868, but was unsuccessful by one vote. He also tried to veto the

14th Amendment, which sought to protect the rights of southern blacks.

The Weird: Johnson was a simple man. He was

known for drinking, liked to go to circuses, and kept mice as pets (think

Lenny from Mice and Men!)

18: Ulysses S. Grant

The Good:He was good at killing people in the Civil

War.The Bad:

Grant’s term was marked by scandal. He appointed friends to political positions, and

protected them when they were caught breaking the law. His brother was a

swindler and a crook, and manipulated Grant into helping him get rich on gold

schemes. He protected whiskey distillers who horded tax dollars. He allowed his friends to pocket earnings off federally

funded projects. Woodrow Wilson said, “He ought never to have been President.”

The Weird:Despite being a war hero, he was

squeamish. Rare meat made him nauseous. He refused to eat chicken. He hated dirty jokes. He also had a strange superstition where he refused to retrace his steps.

19: Rutherford B. Hayes

The Good:Hayes protected the rights of Chinese

to emigrate to the United States, something Congress tried to end. He

also ended Reconstruction, and boosted the U.S. economy with staunch support of hard money

(demanding that all dollars be backed by Gold).The Bad:

Many claim that Hayes’ removal of troops from the South was too soon, and restored White Supremacy in the

southThe Weird:

Believe it or not, he was the first president ever to see the West Coast.

20. James GarfieldThe Good:

He was only president for three months, but said in his Inaugural

Address that “The elevation of the negro race from slavery to the full rights of citizen ship is the most

important political change we have known.” The Bad:

He really did not have the chance to do anything badThe Weird:

After his election but before inauguration, Garfield complained of severe headaches and began having

nightmares about being naked and lost. He was overcome with foreboding. He was assassinated after only 3 months of presidency by an obsessed rival.

21. Chester A. ArthurThe Good:

A cheerful, jolly president, Arthur did little of note, though he did work hard to end corruption of

federal civil service, putting stronger requirements and

oversight on government jobs. The Bad:

Arthur signed the Chinese Exclusion Act, which prohibited

any Chinese people from emigrating to the United States

for 10 years. The Weird:

Arthur was a schoolteacher and principal before he became a

politician.

22 and 24. Grover ClevelandThe Good:

Grover Cleveland was regarded as hard-working and tenacious. His administrations were occupied by regulation of railroad, the

treasury, and tariff laws. He worked to lower national debt and decrease deficit spending.

The Bad: Grover Cleveland’s second term unfortunately

coincided with one of the worst economic depressions in American history. It really had

little to do with Cleveland.Cleveland also signed the Dawes act, an

incredibly racist document which allowed the government to manipulate Indians into giving

up their lands unless they renounced their tribal allegiances.

The Weird:Aside from being the only president in history

to serve two nonconsecutive terms, he appeared on the now nonexistent $1,000 bill. He is beloved in Hawaii because he refused to annex the state. Weirdest, he had a jaw made

of rubber after a tumor was removed.

23. Benjamin HarrisonThe Good:

Harrison believed in everything Cleveland opposed. He imposed high

tariffs to protect American industry, used the U.S. Treasury to buy up American silver productions, and spent nearly 1 billion dollars of federal money for the

first time in history. The Bad:

The same things that made Harrison seem desirable for Republicans made him detestable to Democrats, and his

Sherman Silver Purchase Act led to the greatest Depression in American history at this time, which Cleveland had to deal

with. The Weird:

Benjamin Harrison is the grandson of the 9th president, William Henry Harrison.

He is the first president to have his voice recorded. He was called “Human

Iceberg” because he rarely showed emotion.

24. Grover Cleveland

See #22.

25. William McKinley

The Good:Always meticulously dressed and known for being incredibly polite and charming. He led America into the popular Spanish-American

war of 1898, crushing hostilities and asserting control of the Philippines and Cuba. He put all U.S. Money on the Gold

Standard (100% backed by gold). He also asserted an “Open Door Policy” regarding

trade with China. The Bad:

McKinley was assassinated in 1901 by an anarchist named Czolgosz. Czolgosz was electrocuted and had acid poured over his

corpse to disintegrate it. The Weird:

McKinley showed compassion for his assassin. After he was shot, he saw a group

of men violently beating his assassin. He ordered, “Don’t let them hurt him.”

His wife was also crazy; she refused to allow ANYTHING yellow into the White House!

26. Teddy Roosevelt

The Good:Larger than life – a rambunctious, rowdy man with

equal loves of reading and exercise. He memorized entire books, but also boxed and studied jiujitsu. He skinny dipped in the Potomac in the winter. He flew in a Wright Brothers plane. He hunted, fished, and fought. He was commander of the “Rough Riders”

and was a hero for his bravery during combat in Cuba. He opened the Panama Canal. His “big stick” diplomacy made the United States a global authority

figure. He fought corporate monopolies. He regulated the food industry for the first time. He

was pretty much a boss.The Bad:

I dare you to find something the most interesting president of all time did wrong.

The Weird: Roosevelt was campaigning in Milwaukee, Wisconsin

when a local saloon-keeper shot him. The bullet lodged in his chest after passing through a jacket

pocket containing his steel eyeglass case and a copy of his 50 page speech which had been folded in half. He declined immediate treatment and gave his 90 minute speech with blood seeping from the wound into his shirt. “Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know whether you fully understand that I have just been

shot,” Roosevelt said, “but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.”

27. William Howard Taft

The Good:Protected American business with tariff laws and antitrust policies.

The Bad:Taft was smart, but was a bad politician. He made decisions

without regard to his supporters and lost a great deal of support over his career, including that of

Roosevelt, which killed his political future. He retired to be a

teacher. The Weird:

As president, Taft weighed 332 pounds. He got stuck in the

white house bath tub and had to order a new one.

28. Woodrow Wilson

The Good:Wilson loved speech and debate, and is regarded as one of the best presidential orators. He earned a Ph.D. from Johns

Hopkins. He was president of Princeton University. Ultimately, Wilson will be best remembered for his role in WW1. Wilson

preached Neutrality until German submarines killed American citizens. He

declared war and helped create the League of Nations after the war to encourage world

peace. The war greatly strengthened American industry. He won the Nobel

peace prize. The Bad:

He was a terrible racist; he demanded segregation of DC streetcars, segregated

the post office, and fired black government employees.The Weird

He ratified the 18th Amendment: Prohibition begins. That sir, isn’t weird; it’s crazy.

29. Warren G. HardingThe Good:

It would be very difficult to find anything good about Harding. Perhaps

only that he died in 1923 before his term was over.

The Bad:Harding’s presidency is widely

regarded as the most corrupt; he appointed friends to positions of power who abused privileges and, in the worst case, diverted alcohol and drugs from

Veterans hospitals to bootleggers. There is no proof that Harding profited, but plenty of proof that he was aware. He also refused to join Wilson’s League

of Nations, ultimately destroying it. The Weird:

He voted for prohibition, but kept the White House full of bootleg liquor. He

also golfed at least twice a week.

In a recent poll of Historians, Harding was voted WORST president!

30. Calvin Coolidge

The Good:A quiet, witty man, Coolidge believed in limited government and restored

credibility to the white house after his predecessor ruined it. He cut taxes, especially on the rich, and added to the prosperity of “roaring twenties.”

The Bad:Helping the rich get richer had its

consequences; corporate profits went up, but wages stayed down.

Inevitably stock speculation resulted in the stock market crash two years

after his presidency ended. The Weird:

Calvin Coolidge had a mechanical horse installed in the white house,

which he rode and pretended to be a cowboy.

31. Herbert Hoover

The Good:Honest and optimistic, Hoover tried to help America get through one of its worst crisis

to date. The Bad:

The Great Depression destroyed America. Hoover was naïve and unwilling to grasp

the severity of the situation until too late. He avoided lending government assistance to the unemployed or to businesses. The

1932 “Bonus March” of Veterans humiliated the presidency. Hoover

became a symbol of the government’s ineptness and cities of homeless people

became known as “Hoovervilles.” His attempt at reelection was the worst defeat in the history of any incumbent president.

The Weird:In 1927, Hoover was the first president

ever to appear on a TV broadcast.

Presidents of Modernism and Postmodernism

Presidential Rankings(aggregated results of several surveys)

Top 6: Bottom 6:1. Abraham Lincoln2. Thomas Jefferson3. Franklin D.

Roosevelt4. George

Washington5. Teddy Roosevelt6. Woodrow Wilson

38. Millard Fillmore39. Franklin Pierce40. Andrew Johnson41. James Buchanan42. Ulysses S Grant43. Warren G Harding