getting to yes - negotiating agreement without giving in
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Getting to Yes:Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
Harvard Negotiation Project
Began in 1983
In conjunction with MIT and Tufts
Negotiation art and a science
Getting to Yes Authors
Roger Fisher
Bruce Patton William Ury
Dilemma: people see two ways to negotiate1. Soft 2. Hard
Soft: avoid conflict, make concessions Often end up exploited and feeling bitter
Hard: sees any situation as a contest of wills Exhausts people and resources and harms
relationships
Getting to Yes
Being nice is no answer
In soft negotiations: yield as necessary to avoid conflict
(e.g. WWII)
B/t friends and family, it tends to be efficient as it produces results quickly
But it does not ensure a wise agreement
Getting to Yes
Third way to negotiate: both hard and soft Principled Negotiation: decides issues on their
Merits
Look for mutual gains wherever possible.
Where interests conflict, insist that results be based on some fair and independent standards.
Getting to Yes
Arguing over positions produces unwise agreements
Negotiators lock themselves into positions which they must defend
The more you defend, the harder it is to change a position
Position now involves ego and saving face
Getting to Yes
Arguing over positions endangers an ongoing relationship
Strains and sometimes shatters relationships
One ego always ends up bruised
Getting to Yes
4 Basic Points:
People: separate the people from the problem
Interests: focus on interests, not positions
Options: generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do
Criteria: insists that the results be based on some objective standard
Principled Negotiation
People: separate the people from the problem
Emotions cloud objective merits
Egos become identified with positions
Create Cognitive Dissonance
Principled Negotiation
Interests Focus on interests, not positions A position may obscure what you really
want Ask Why? Ask Why not? Ex: talks on nuclear testing breakdown
over number of inspections
Principled Negotiation
Miscommunication
Lessee: “I always pay the rent whenever she asks for it.”
Lessor: “He never pays the rent until I ask for it.”
Fear of Uncertainty
People fear what the other side intends to do!
"They met in a bar, where he offered her a ride home. He took her down unfamiliar streets. He said it was a shortcut……
Try To Understand
You might say, "You have a strong case. Let me see if I can explain it. Here's the way it strikes me...."
Understanding is not agreeing!
Problem before Answer
Money Phrases
"Please correct me if I'm wrong…"
"Could I ask you a few questions to see whether my facts are right?“
"What's the principle behind your action?"
Options: generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do
Searching for the one right solution inhibits creativity
example: argument over an orange
Principled Negotiation
Criteria: insists that the results be based on some objective standard
Ex: market value, expert opinion, custom, precedence or law
both parties can defer to a fair solution without giving in to each other
Principled Negotiation
Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement
Always keep in mind
Be careful about disclosing!
BATNA
A mediator asks about interests instead of positions. Asks “why?”
First, she tries to learn all she can about the needs and interests.
Explores the possibility of a recommendation
Involves preparing drafts and asking for criticisms.
The one-text procedure
Dubious Intentions Incorporate compliance feature
Manipulate Physical Environment Small Chair, Hot, Sun
Personal Attack No eye contact, disguised insult
Common Tricks
Tom Insurance Agent
You knew all of this already!
Only Learn by Practice
Forget “Winning”
Conclusion
Make the most of your potential power.
Getting to Yes
Let us never negotiate out of fear.But let us never fear to negotiate.
-John F. Kennedy