girls behaving badly workbook - creative education

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Girls Behaving Badly 6957

Improving the behaviour of challenging girls

To be used alongside the accompanying video

6957| Girls Behaving Badly

© Daybreak Holdings Ltd Delegate Workbook Page | 2

Introduction Recent experience suggests that there has been a change in attitude in many girls in secondary schools across the country. Ungracious, surly, truculent, deliberately unpleasant behaviour appears to be on the increase, along with a wave of low-level disruption. There are no easy answers. However, this course will consider pro-active strategies that identify why so many girls are causing problems and explores practical strategies which have proven to be successful. Use these notes and activities alongside the video to discuss and reflect on the issues raised in order to adapt solutions and approaches for your own context,

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Session One: Understanding girls’ behaviour


Identify the specific behaviours which are unacceptable There are some typicalities of girls’ behaviour in schools. At their best, girls are often praised for politeness, neat work and for following instructions well. In research, it has been proven that girls are often more collaborative than boys and often respond better to authority.

When their behaviour declines, it has been recorded that girls can demonstrate the following behaviours frequently:

Uniform violations Rudeness Refusal to work

Refusal to cooperate Bullying Friendship issues

Talking Phone misuse Make-up issues

Violence Aggression Truancy

Low attendance/lateness Non-completion of homework

Poor attitude

However, this is not the full sum of their behaviour. Equally, these are not solely the behaviours of girls:

Extract from a research investigation into male and female behaviour in schools:

‘The most striking finding in the study of gender is that […] the similarities between girls and boys far outweigh the differences. One comprehensive review found that […](which represented over 7,000 individual research reports investigating a wide range of cognitive, social, and personality variables), 78% showed small or close-to-zero […] differences between males and females in these studies (Hyde, 2005, 2006). For some variables, context affects whether gender differences were found. For example, when […] when the participants were told the test was gender-fair, no gender differences were found (Spencer, Steele, & Quinn, 1999).

(Cook and Cook: Child Development)

Indeed, research has also shown that girls need to be encouraged to challenge authority more often to ensure they develop adult-life skills where innovation and confidence are rewarded with promotion and career success (Dr Stannard). Stannard believes this is a key factor in how girls can continually out-perform boys academically, yet still earn less and achieve less than men collectively.




But that doesn’t mean teachers should overlook negative behaviours; rather, it means teachers need to identify the motivations for these poor choices and guide them to a more positive outcome. Although, it is important to reflect on whether teachers’ expectations are gender assigned and perhaps modify these expectations where necessary.




Activity 1: Paired discussion Purpose:

To establish the behaviours which are currently causing issues in our schools.

Activity instructions:

• In pairs, discuss the question: What are the behaviours you are experiencing which are causing issues?

Tips:

v Be specific with the behaviours or conduct v Use the table to support the activity if necessary

Uniform issues Rudeness Refusal to work

Refusal to cooperate Bullying Friendship issues

Low level disruption – talking Phone misuse Make-up issues

Violence Aggression Truancy

Low attendance Non-completion of homework Poor attitude





To explore the behaviours which have the most damaging impact.


• In pairs, sort the behaviours into the following categories: o High level disruption / low level disruption o High frequency / low frequency

• Once in categories, explore the findings to identify if there are any patterns to the behaviours.

Tips:

v Look for links, such as uniform violations might also be made by the same girls who use make-up inappropriately

v Other links might be that frequent low level disruption precedes high level disruption





To investigate the differences between male and female behaviour


• In pairs, sort the behaviours from the table into three columns – male behaviour / female behaviour / both genders

• Identify similarities and differences between boys and girls in the classroom

Tips:

v When behaviour is similar, are there differences in the manner it is conducted? v When behaviour is similar, are there differences in frequency or severity?

Uniform issues Rudeness Refusal to work

Low level disruption - loudness Play fighting Friendship issues

Low level disruption – talking Phone misuse Make-up issues

Violence Messy work / work lacks care Truancy

Low attendance Non-completion of homework Poor attitude

Low level disruption – not listening Refusal to cooperate Silliness

Aggression Unprepared for class Bullying





To explore teachers’ expectations of boys and girls in the classroom


• In pairs, discuss the question: Do we expect, and therefore spot or reinforce different behaviours and attitudes from boys and girls?

Tips:

v Consider the expectations you have of the separate genders v Consider your own personal values and how you respond to particular behaviours

– and whether that might relate to your own age or gender




Explore the motivations for these behaviours The motivations for and influences of poor behaviour can also typically be simplified to some extent. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs can be a great place to begin to spot what barriers exist in improving learning conduct. For example, a student with physiological needs will likely demonstrate behaviours which are either attention seeking to fill these gaps or will appear vulnerable to others. It is likely a student in this position will not make expected progress or indeed present themselves as fully focused in the classroom. However, getting into trouble for this behaviour would only alienate her more and reinforce the impact of the deprivation.

Often, the specific factors which contribute to this behaviour can be divided into three categories which prevent movement up through the hierarchy. These are:

• classroom-related issues

• personal issues

• social issues

To effectively improve learning conduct, it is important to establish the specific barriers to this behaviour and find ways to combat the impact of these factors.

Classroom related issues might be that the lessons have not been set or differentiated at the right level for the student, that her confidence is low in your subject or even that the tasks are not engaging for her in her current situation. It might also relate to her place in the seating plan or how she feels about school.

Personal issues might be to do with her health, her self-esteem or her family. It might be to do with her emotional health or even her sexuality. Other factors might be to do with religious or cultural values or expectations, or conflicts between any of these.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs




Social issues might be to do with friendships, relationships or perhaps bullying or clique situations. These might seem insignificant but they can play a major factor in a student’s behaviour.




Activity 5: Mind-maps Purpose:

To examine the motivations and causes of poor learning conduct


• Mind-map the three sub-headings for specific factors within each that might impact on behaviour or attitude

o Classroom related issues o Personal issues o Social issues

• Make links to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Tips:

v It might help to consider specific students’ behaviours to access this task. If details are sensitive, make-up a different name for the student example

v Some factors might fit under more than one heading and overlap




Investigate how these motivations might be influenced by the environment One huge factor that makes an impact on almost all girls now is the mass consumption of media products and the adoption of flawed celebrity role models. Teen magazines promote romance and body image as the biggest factors in girls’ happiness and the media in general is saturated with poor attitudes to women in TV, film and in particular, advertising. It would be foolish to underestimate the impact of this on confidence and ambitions.

One article on healthychildren.org states:

“Teen magazines” is for all intents a synonym for “girls’ magazines.” Boys really don’t have anything comparable to these publications, which have changed surprisingly little in the years since your or your sister’s subscription expired. On the whole, they still convey a two-dimensional impression of adolescent girls as boy-crazy clotheshorses who are obsessed with how they look. A study by the Kaiser Family Foundation analysed the top-four teen magazines. Forty-four percent of the articles focused on dating or sex, and 37 percent on appearance.

A mere 12 percent of the articles were reserved for advice about school or careers. The accent on physical appearance spills over into the advertisements, four in five of which are for clothing and beauty products. Models predominate the ads and the photos used to accompany the articles. With rare exception, the faces are strikingly pretty and the bodies, well toned. You’ve probably suspected that repeated exposure to such images would influence young female readers, but you may be surprised just how strong an impression they make.

The article goes on to suggest helpful activities like reading a teen mag together and discussing the weaknesses in an article, or choosing to read something together which is about a more appropriate role model.

But it is not just magazines which have a negative impact; all media products aimed at girls can be seen as responsible. Teen films often have their protagonists focussed on looks, love and being cool above all else. Often, clever students or interesting students are used as figures for humour. When female characters are developed for films with broader audiences, the girls often need saving or are less central than the male characters.

Pop music focusses on looks and artists refer to women by their bodies or the state of the relationship. Equally, gaming has fewer female characters and the industry is being attacked currently by female gamers who want a better range of options in this male dominated industry.

The outcome of all of this is that girls cannot see how brilliant they are, no matter how well they are doing, if their image isn’t up to the par set by the media.




Activity 6: Mind-maps Purpose:

To establish the impact of media on girls’ behaviour


• Mind-map each of the subheadings with examples of media impact or how they impact on behaviour:

o Self-esteem o Role models o Personal ambitions

Tips:

v Use specific media products or personalities to make links between them v Consider what message these products or personalities might be passing to

teenage girls

Activity 7: Purpose:

To apply motivation theories to real life case studies


• Read the case studies and discuss potential motivations for the situations

Tips:

v Consider placing the students onto the Hierarchy of Needs v Explore possible environmental issues that might be of influence

Case Study 1:

Nella, 14, is a bright student from a secure background. She has a supportive family who are traditional and religious. She has always been quiet until this year, but she is demonstrating surliness and stroppiness recently. Occasionally, she has snapped and been rude to her teachers. She has started to pick up after school detentions for this rudeness. Sometimes she appears distracted and she doesn’t seem interested in her work.




Case Study 2:

Hannah, 15, is an under-achieving student who has been increasingly difficult since starting secondary school. She is from a working class, single parent family and she is close to them. She has always been a bit distracted, hard to win, with a problematic relationship with homework completion and assessments. Often she is away for the assessment date. Recently she has become very difficult, shouting and swearing at staff, leaving lessons without permission, aggressive body language and attitude, refusal to work. She often says she doesn’t care. Her attendance is becoming more and more of a problem.

6957 | Girls Behaving Badly

Session Two: Cliques and Bullies


Explore the differences between teasing and bullying Dealing with bullies and cliques can be challenging; often, this is because it is difficult to identify the divisions between perpetrator and victim as well as bullying and teasing. Girls claim ‘they didn’t mean to’ or ‘she started it’ and already teachers are at a loss for how to respond. Frequently, the interpretation of intent and reception can be seen differently, and often it is the vulnerability of the victim which turns an action into bullying.

There are different types of bullying including:

• Verbal bullying – such as name calling and rumour mongering • Non-verbal bullying – such as social ostracising and gestures • Physical bullying – such as violence and the threat of violence • Cyber- bullying – such as comments on social media

School often consider physical bullying the most serious, however all types of bullying can have severe consequences. For example, the impact of having no friends can leave a girl more emotionally damaged than being slapped. This is particularly true if there is a high frequency of bullying actions or if it covers a lot of time.

There are many factors to consider when developing strategies for dealing with bullying:

• Appropriate consequences for the different types of bullying • Identifying the motivations for bullying as often the bullies can be vulnerable

too • Strategies to build resilience against bullying – secure and emotionally smart

student often don’t feel bullied or bounce back better from the effects • Strategies to teach empathy and social skills to reduce the quantity of bullying

incidents

It might be unrealistic to assume that all bullying can be stopped, but it should always be the aim. If the marginal events can be stopped, the student body is made more secure and eventually it can become easier to spot the incidents of bullying. A school at its best isn’t necessarily the one with no bullying incidents, but one which is well prepared to resolve any incidents and ensure all students feel safe in the knowledge that they have support should any untoward occur.

There are many stereotypes about the differences between male and female bullies; many of these can be back up with research whereas some are true of both genders. There is evidence to suggest boys are more physical in their actions whereas girls




are more psychological. However, there are still accounts of girls being violent and boys using emotional manipulation. Plus, when students ‘gang up’ it is often in a group of mixed gender students.

One key difference is in how the bullying is received. There is evidence to show that boys often don’t interpret the events as bullying and are more likely to see them as a way of competing for status in their social group. Equally, they also tend to have only one leader of the social hierarchy. Girls, however, often have several leaders and their positions are unstable. Girls also tend to take many of the events more seriously and are more likely to interpret incidents as bullying.

Top Ten Bullying and Teasing Facts

• Boys tend to be more physical when they bully • Girls tend to be more relational • Boys tend to have one main ringleader and a clear social hierarchy • Girls’ social hierarchies tends to be more unstable and often with several

leaders • Boys tend to receive minor bullying as a way of fighting for their position in the

social hierarchy • Girls can use positions of leadership and underdog to achieve power as they

tend to use emotions to change the context • All of this can vary according to the child and the situation – there is no perfect

understanding of bullying • Bullying is not always intended but can be received • Some children are ‘natural born bullies’ with empathy issues or a need for

control/power. This also does not definitely mean they are bad people • Cyber-bullying is on the increase and should be tackled within schools to both

train girls how to use social media safely as well as to deal with issues arising from it




Activity 8: Purpose: To clarify the differences between bullying and teasing


• Paired discussion exploring the differences between bullying and teasing • Use the BULLYING-TEASING Continuum to place definitions or boundaries

Tips:

v Use experiences from the classroom to help establish opinions about the differences.

v It might be sensible to change the names of students to ensure anonymity

Activity 9: Purpose: To apply understanding of bullying and clique behaviour to real life case studies


• Read each case study and decide whether it is an account of bullying or teasing. Place a post-it note on the continuum to show what you have decided

• Analyse and discuss your reasons for your decisions

Tips:

v Using the post-its will allow a discussion to unfold easily, especially if people disagree

Case Study 3:

Ruth is a popular girl who works hard but attains averagely. She is very good at dance and performing arts. She has lots of friends and teachers respond well to her. Recently she has complained about a girl she doesn’t like called Beth; subsequently, Beth recently lost her temper and hit Ruth. On investigation teachers found out that Ruth has been sending Snapchat images of herself with Beth’s boyfriend to Beth and her friends. Ruth often talks loudly about Beth negatively in front of her or her friends.




Case Study 4:

Gem is an exceptionally bright and outgoing girl who confided a secret to her friends. She is now saying these friends are ostracising her, but teachers have not witnessed this. She has run out of class crying a couple of times, and her mother has phoned in and said Gem is now refusing to come to school and every morning is a battle. On talking to Gem, she says the girls are calling her names and leaving her out. She won’t tell any of the teachers what the secret is at the moment.

Case Study 5:

Laura is a sensitive girl who has social issues as she takes everything very literally. In the past this has resulted in some temper issues too. Recently, teachers have noticed that some of her classmates now giggle or whisper when she talks in front of the class or does a presentation. In group work, she often opts to work alone, although students will work with her grudgingly when pushed. Sometimes students make silly jokes about her literal interpretation of things; sometimes students openly complain about her manners.




Examine the nature of clique mentalities Cliques are different to bullying, and actually have been misinterpreted by the misuse of the word. The word clique really means a group of people who interact with each other more than with other people. Therefore, the definition of this word really aligns with groups of friends, family members, neighbours or colleagues. More often than not, we are all part of several cliques and they normally function positively.

However, when a clique gains power over another group or individual the impact can often be severe. Just the effect of a majority uniting over a minority is intimidating – and this can be true if a clique shifts the balance of authority with a teacher. It is important to remember to stay calm and confident in your authority and to use the community of support available to you in your school. This might be through your faculty or year team; from your line manager or even just by using the Whole School Behaviour Policy. There will likely be a process suggested for dealing with inciting anger, hate or violence, and when a clique gets carried away, it’s likely this would be an appropriate place to begin. But, be aware of your response; be certain to check whether they are being intimidating in some way or whether that is your response to a group of students who have got carried away.

Top Ten Clique Mentality Facts

• Clique is a word which defines a group of people who interact more frequently than with other people

• For most people most of the time, this is a positive thing that goes unnoticed – they are called friends, colleagues etc

• Modern society often uses this term to describe a group of people behaving cruelly, gossipy or aggressively to others

• Cliques can be intimidating as they are about social inclusion and therefore also social exclusion

• The act of a group of people cooperating together can be intimidating in itself as the other people are in fewer numbers even when no negative behaviours are happening

• Cliques are commonly found in adulthood, professional environments and other places – they are not solely the behaviours of adolescents

• Boys form cliques too just as much as girls • Female cliques tend to have more social roles than male cliques • There can often be more than one leading role in a female clique • Girls often respond more negatively to hierarchical instability than boys who

often respond as if it was competition for their position




Activity 10: Purpose: To explore ways of teaching the negative effects of bullying


• Plan a lesson which gets girls collaborating to solve a problem or to share a passion or interest

• Including group work is essential

Tips:

v Use activities which are irresistible so that girls want to be involved v Ensure there is a high level of challenge in the problem to push their ability to

compromise, collaborate, take the lead and show initiative and support v Include opportunities to empathise for the best results




Investigate the positive traits which might be underpinning this behaviour At its very essence, bullying is an exchange of power; it is less about the conduct being described as bullying and more about the cruel advantage of one party over another. Unintentional, everyday bullying, like negative associations with weight, are just as debilitating as a social conflict which escalates to violence.

But power is something people seek; often, the ability to play an advantage in adult life is exactly the quality which means one person will succeed where another equally deserving person might fail. Similarly, one person might recover from a cruel or even violent incident without power-loss if they believe themselves equal or superior, or even just in the right. They might even just laugh it off. Whereas another person might take the simplest of comments to heart or respond sensitively to the subtlest of body language changes.

While some of these traits might come down to personality or confidence levels, these skills can be taught and encouraged through competition, collaboration and empathy games.

In our schools where individual progress against targets is measured constantly, and our learning objectives are becoming increasingly specific and subject time feels ever more limited, it seems unlikely that time can be found for more holistic and personal lessons. Perhaps they would have to fit into PSHE time or on days when the timetable is crashed. But there are other opportunities to be found. This kind of skill can be developed in extra-curricular activities, participating in school events like sport, drama and music and even by taking part in academic competitions like science challenges or debating teams. However, don’t underestimate the amount of learning time which can be gained by fostering the right atmosphere in the classroom.




Activity 11: Purpose: To explore ways of teaching resilience to bullying and strengthening girls’ confidence


• Design a lesson to teach the skills of resilience and confidence • Include tasks which challenge students to feel the effects of being outside a

group yet still find ways to succeed • The three skills are:

• How to improve at laughing it off or at least faking it • How to give as good as you get without causing trouble • How to bounce back and know it’s okay to lose sometimes.

Tips:

v Use games or tasks which give different roles varying status v Girls might need to win or negotiate an increase in status v Include opportunities to reflect so that students have to identify what they did to

manage their situation


Session Three: Managing Girls Behaving Badly


Whole School Behaviour Policies Your school’s behaviour policy will likely include characteristics such as a consequence system moving from informal to formal as well as a reward system. However, it doesn’t stop there. It should also include processes for intervention, links to the PSHE curriculum and form/tutor time management and perhaps even a mentoring system.

When whole school policies are at their best, they focus on creating good behaviour rather than punishing bad behaviour, although that will still be a part of it.

It should also be linked to attendance and punctuality, the tracking of pupil progress to identify early signs or impact and facilities in school for managing difficult situations like whole school detentions or isolation rooms. Some schools also have enrichment centres or return-to-learn rooms. It might be that there are dedicated staff members for this




Activity 12: Purpose: To explore the strengths and weaknesses of existing whole school behaviour policies


• Paired discussion to explore existing whole school behaviour policies • Discuss the strengths and weaknesses explaining the reasoning

Tips:

v Be specific about the parts which work or need improving v Think about the impact on students v Factor in earlier discussions, particularly relating to motivations for poor behaviour

or creating positive environments

Activity 13: Purpose: To apply existing or desirable whole school behaviour policies to case studies


• Apply existing or desirable whole school behaviour policy processes to the case studies

• Imagine the outcomes from the application and discuss what would help to create the desired changes

Tips:

v Think about how the girls might respond to a variety of options

Case Study 6:

Katie, 12, is a challenging student who is weaker in attainment. She comes from a home where one parent is disabled and the other is the carer. She often has to look after her younger siblings and doesn’t want to come to school. She has few friends and doesn’t attend any clubs. She gets into trouble for attention seeking behaviours like crying and making up stories. She can be surly and uncooperative at times and doesn’t like group work. She hardly ever hands in homework which means she does a lot of detentions.




Case Study 7:

Daisy is 16 and is alternative in her style, but she is relatively popular. She gets into trouble for her piercings, uniform and hair colour. She can be confrontational with staff but when things are going well she works hard. She has been caught smoking a few times and her friends talk about how much she goes out and that she hangs around with older people out of school. When she gets detentions she doesn’t attend them and this often escalates into bigger problems.

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Develop strategies to avoid bad behaviour 22 Strategies for creating a positive school and classroom environment

22 Classroom Strategies

Always use seating plans and change them when necessary

Be friendly and warm, even when students get things wrong

Plan a variety of tasks to ensure students are kept interested and stimulated

Reflect on your teaching to see if there’s anything else which will work

Talk less and get students doing more!

Don’t do the teacher talk at the very beginning if you can help it

Embed the social skills you want to see in your lessons in the tasks or the topics

Use positive language

Be assertive – kind and friendly but certain about what you want to happen

Control severity through clarity

Accept partial agreements as a positive negotiation

Create resources with tasks – like reading treasure hunts – to avoid over talking

Use competition and games to encourage confident working

Allow students to fail and reflect within small tasks so they learn to self motivate

Challenge friendship groups to ensure that students learn tolerance inside the class

Ensure there’s a purpose to each task so students know why it is beneficial

Reward lots – compliments, emoticons and smiles are rewards as well as the big things

Notice effort and use the word yet to demonstrate the journey you are on

Be open to rising to challenges yourself to role model the attitude you want

Keep the challenge high (appropriately) and believe in them to get there!

Use variety for interest but consistency of routine for discipline and focus

Be nice!




Often, when teachers plan their lessons, they are skill or content focussed with the descriptions concentrating on teacher talk or the tasks to be completed to achieve the learning. Aside from considering overt rewards and consequences, it is likely little of the text will explicitly focus on the expected behaviours or attitudes, and it is likely the lesson plan won’t explain how a task or a part of the lesson is contributing to creating the positive environment. This is often to the detriment of the lesson.

Admittedly, when a lesson is designed as part of a scheme of learning, it would be impossible to factor in all students’ needs. However, when they are adapted for a particular class, it is important to consider how this lesson will engage and support the needs of the class.

Things which might be considered range from avoiding too much passive listening, ways of encouraging quiet focus from a noisy or restless class, ways of encouraging ambition and drive from a quiet class, making topics excite curiosity and even ways of encouraging tolerance. This might be as simple as consistently role modelling what you want to see.

Much can be taken from teachers delivering different subjects than our own. For example, all academic subjects can learn from drama where the use of warm up games create an inclusive and energetic environment. The time devoted to warming up to the conduct you want to see is regained in the effortless progress created once everyone is on board. Examples can be found all around the school.

‘Girls need to challenge more!’ – Dr Stannard

Dr Kevin Stannard has received a lot of attention for highlighting the fact that often the precise reasons girls succeed better than boys typically in school is one of the reasons that girls then don’t make the same impressive progress in their careers. Although this doesn’t apply to all girls and all careers, it is useful to think about why girls typically are considered less high tariff in terms of behaviour in school; often considered politer, neater at working and better with authority, the behaviour which gets them praise and compliments throughout their education is not so useful in the workplace.

In our careers it is often innovation, assertiveness and being able to stand out which earns promotion and respect.

Stannard writes: ‘Young women should be encouraged to challenge authority to prevent girls being stereotyped as subservient as they grow up and enter the workplace. […] It is common for girls to be praised for good manners, politeness and even neatness of written work. […] Employers place a higher value on personality, networking and the ability to take risks.




Activity 15: Purpose: To explore ways of fostering positive challenge and disruption in the classroom


• Paired discussion on the question: How can you foster disruption and challenge as positive qualities in the classroom?

Tips:

v Consider how competition might help v Discuss how students could be encouraged to express varying opinions or

discontent appropriately

Activity 16: Purpose: To apply discussion outcomes to a real life case study


• Read the case study and explore the question: How can you use Lillie’s fiery and outspoken nature to engender a more ambitious and confident approach to learning?

Tips:

v Consider how you might engage her in the bigger picture v Consider how you might be able to communicate to her ways to choose battles

worth fighting for Case Study 8: Lillie is a fiery student who is able but she is more interested in being pretty and cool. She is popular but doesn’t always believe it and when under pressure to achieve she will often give up or get angry. She is not afraid to speak out in class though, and she will speak honestly with her teachers even though some of them don’t appear to want to listen. Currently, she is under achieving and sometimes gets into trouble for a short skirt or too much make-up.




Exploring Voice and Body Language in the Classroom

Teachers sometimes confuse being assertive with being loud or even slightly aggressive. But your voice and body language are a powerful tool in assertively achieving your aims with a class or a student. When things do go wrong, how you tackle this will ensure your success or failure in solving the issue!

It is best to leave the following clichés out of the situation as often they do more harm than good, and focus on your emotional response rather than the situation or the student’s emotions:

Respect – a student’s anger does not always represent disrespect. It is likely how they feel about themselves.

Winning – losing an argument because you’re wrong or you didn’t get your way does not mean you’ve lost their respect, trust or even the situation.

Authority – being in charge does not always mean being in control. Sometimes having the authority to remember the main goal is better than over-powering a situation.

How to use your voice and body language in the classroom:

• Firstly, you must be decided in what will happen next – are you sending the student out? Do they have a choice?

• Secondly, speak clearly, slowly and firmly. Do not let anger inflect your tone. Try to address your firm statement from the angle of why this will be for the best.

• Thirdly, ensure you are not positioned in a confrontational manner. Do not stand directly facing them or tower over them.

• If you can, stand diagonally to them or even find a way to be seated with them. This can help to diffuse over/under-emotion of any kind.

• Do not waggle hands or over-gesture; this is a sign of aggression. Instead ensure hands, if moving, are facing upwards.

• Build the bridge – if you can’t help build that bridge, how can a child be expected to start the building?



© Day break Holdings Ltd Delegate Workbook Page | 30

Activity 17: Purpose: To explore the impact of voice and body language on others


• In pairs, role play typical high stress situations from the classroom • Ensure at least one person is a student and one person is the teacher • Play the same situation twice, once with the teacher being authoritarian and

perhaps shouting with lots of arm gestures. The second time should be following the rules for effective use of voice and body language.

• Swap and repeat after changing roles

Tips:

v You might create a whole class situation to see if it works differently with an audience

v Ensure you reflect on how each role felt under the different circumstances


Session Four:


Relationships in the Classroom

Discussing the role of the teacher-student relationship When new teachers attend early training, one cliché which is inevitably shared is to avoid being nice until Christmas.

However, this is flawed advice. How would you feel if your new boss was cold and harsh? Could you develop a relationship under those terms?

It is a fallacy to think that the teacher-student relationship isn’t a kind of colleagueship or even a formal kind of friendship. After all, students are meant to trust teachers, follow their instructions and turn to them for advice. It is far more successful if a kind of ‘like’ is created.

This doesn’t mean being overly nice, bringing in treats or even indulging in lengthy off task discussions. But it does mean remembering to smile, be patient and supportive, and getting to know them as individuals. You should even let them get to know you, although it is good to remember they are getting to know the teacher-you and not the you who had a hangover which lasted all weekend.

Often, our most challenging students move from lesson to lesson feeling disliked; they pick up on non-verbal actions such as body language and facial expressions and read the negativity. They are distrusted, given less room to breathe until they are abandoned altogether, and are set increasingly easy work as if the ease is going to reduce their desire to misbehave. This in turn fills them with frustration, damages already fragile egos, and increases the dislike of school and education. This is not going to turn around their behaviour or attitude.

It is easy to blame the student; after all, they started behaving badly, they’ve not been trustworthy and we nearly always know they’re like this in other lessons too. However, as you’re going to have to continue working together, and you are the adult, you can use your advanced social skills and expertise to win back their engagement and to show them that learning is amazing!

It does take a huge amount of resilience and patience to keep going back to the same students and giving them chance after chance. However, if the behaviour management policy has been followed, and all misconduct has been recorded, you are free to give a million chances – the pastoral team and the policy should allow for consistent and appropriate follow up while you rebuild bridges and re-engage the student back into the love of learning.

Some students might appear unwinnable. Some might even be unwinnable. But do not under-estimate the value of planting positive seeds. For our most challenging


Session Four:



students, often from challenging backgrounds or have varying issues to contend with, it is far better they can reflect from adulthood about that one teacher who believed in them than for them to remember that she was rejected by the establishment and learned that she was a failure from a young age. Positive chances are taken in adulthood from positive seeds. Often, it only takes one person to believe and to unerringly be kind to make a difference.

It is worth considering that most people dislike taking full responsibility for the things which go wrong in life. Girls in school will find this harder than adults. They will also be ill-prepared at knowing how to get back on track, which is something teachers can assist with to positive effect.


Session Four:



Activity 18: Purpose: To explore the effects of negative relationships on ourselves to begin to empathise with the importance of relationships


• Paired discussion on the questions: o How do you respond to people when they make you feel disliked or not

trusted? o How do you respond to things you think you are not good at?

Tips:

v Consider things you avoid or feel uncomfortable when forced to take part

Activity 19: Purpose: To consider ways of making positive starts with difficult students to encourage trust and positivity


• Paired discussion on the questions: How can you build good relationships with students when establishing relationships with individuals and the class?

• Consider building relationships with students you already know to be difficult.

Tips:

v Consider how you might rebuild trust or affect confidence in the student

Activity 20: Purpose: To apply relationship-building strategies to a case study


• Read the case study and explore strategies which might improve the relationship with the teacher

• Mind-map your ideas


Session Four:



Tips:

v Reflect on how your ideas might improve the situation

Case Study 9:

Ella, 14, is a challenging student who often turns up to class late, unprepared, surly and arrogant in her manner. She is under-achieving and states she doesn’t care about her work. Any work or homework completed is sloppy and she has lost books in the past. She seems to be popular but never wants to take the lead in academic situations. She finds excuses to leave the room, complains that she hates school and certain teachers. You have overheard staff talking about how difficult she is or making small jokes at her expense.


Session Four:



Exploring ways to rebuild and repair relationships Bill Rogers’ diagram for Key Principles of Successful Classroom Management

In the course so far we have concentrated on three parts of Rogers’ cycle. The section we have yet to explore is Rebuild and Repair. This is an essential part of the process as it tackles embarrassment, shame, resentment and misunderstandings. All of which are only going to increase the inevitability of continued poor behaviour.

Often, the act of rebuilding and repairing is quite simple. Barriers which get in the way are more likely to be things like available time, or attitudes like blame, wanting the upper hand, or lack of empathy.

Simple acts can make a huge difference. Despite the fact you might be moving them in the seating plan or giving them a detention or whatever was appropriate, there is huge merit in facilitating the rebuild and repair. This doesn’t mean smiling and pretending it never happened. It means helping the girl to understand the cause and effect, and that it is all part of the learning process. After all, haven’t we all made mistakes?


Session Four:



Rebuild and repair strategies might be:

• Find the student to have a conversation before the next lesson • Ensuring you say hello with a smile in the corridor or around school • Making it a priority to spot small improvements or efforts and commenting

upon them • Letting go of grudges • Communicating to the student, even through the subtlest non-verbal

behaviours, that you have moved on • Giving extra care to frame instructions positively and clearly when close to

similar situations that went wrong

There are many ways of making it feel good to walk into your room again


Session Four:



Activity 21: Purpose: To apply rebuild and repair strategies to a case study


• Read the case study and consider different ways to create a positive reintegration into the classroom

Tips:

v Consider how Charlie might be feeling on her way to the room

Case Study 10:

Charlie, 13, had three warnings in your last lesson. The final warning, which resulted in her being sent out, was for texting during the lesson. She hadn’t done any work and was being surly throughout the lesson. When she was sent out she swore at you and then ran off so senior management had to be called. She now has an after school detention for her actions.


Session Four:



Investigating the role of mentoring in schools Mentoring is a valuable tool but it must be taken seriously. It is also something which can be used to help support the highest achieving and best behaved students; it is not solely for the challenging girls. However, used well, it can foster better behaviour and attitudes and be used to set targets and monitor successes and failures.

If provisions are made for it, mentoring can also be used as a way of regularly setting the correct tone for school. Although it might not be feasible for girls to meet their mentors daily or even weekly.

When used well, mentoring is a way to build a trusting relationship to identify problems and to find solutions. This is generally through listening and questioning.

Although there are likely opportunities for informal mentoring just through careful conversations, lots of schools are using mentoring as a formal process which is recorded and becomes a part of the behaviour or pastoral policies.

But there are questions to be asked when establishing the role of mentoring in your school:


Session Four:



Many teachers have had a positive experience of mentoring. For example, one mentor taking part in a research project said:

“The main thing at first was just gaining trust—that trust that she would confide to me. That was important first. I had to let her know that no matter what, she could tell me anything and I’d believe her and trust her and I’d support her. I think that’s what these kids need. . . I think it just takes a long time to build up a trust.”

Mentor, Columbus, Ohio

Top Tips for Good Mentoring

Mentoring

Be a good listener

Never judge – this might be their actual reality or a believed version of it

Keep a record – especially if conversations or topics are difficult


Session Four:



Pass on that record – according to your policy or to the appropriate line manager

Never offer to keep something secret

Don’t offer an opinion on others that you cannot retract

Don’t meet alone or without letting other staff know what’s happening

Ask questions but don’t probe

Offer advice when asked but do not instruct inappropriately

Be clear about the steps to follow. Be clear to share if you are unsure

Be supportive

Use modifiers like yet to show this is a step on a longer journey

Set SMART targets

Target setting is another way to influence behaviour. This might be part of the mentoring process or it might be something that you do with your students. Often, it is something which is focussed upon in form/tutor time.

When targets are set, they should always be SMART:

S Specific

M Measurable

A Attainable

R Realistic

T Timely

For example, a student who is frequently late in the mornings might have the specific targets of 100% punctuality with immediate effect. However, should the lateness be because she’s a carer at home, it might be more realistic to set the target at 75% or lower to tackle an improvement first and to get a positive result. More ambitious targets can be set later.


Session Four:




Session Four:



Activity 22: Purpose: To explore the role of mentoring as currently experienced


• Paired discussion on the question: What is the role of mentoring in your school currently?

Tips:

v Consider your own experience and those which have been communicated to you.

Activity 23: Purpose: To practise mentoring skills


• Use mentoring tips to offer support in a paired activity • Swap and repeat

Tips:

v Use a real life problem v There is no expectation to use a problem which is very personal; you might focus

on a particular classroom situation you want to turn around, or even tips on how to potty train your young child

v The aim is to practise the tips from the table and to foster a positive frame of mind


Conclusion


The aim of this course was to explore the motivations of girls behaving badly and to develop a range of strategies to make improvements.

For a lot of teachers, much of this is already known and part of daily practice, however the stress and pace of school life means we often need to reflect and regroup our best skills. For some teachers, new to teaching challenging girls, this will foster the necessary skills for making learning a positive experience for all.

Take a few moments now to look at the Reflection grid on the next page and begin to identify your next steps. You may wish to complete it more fully after the course.

Make a Promise!

Write down one thing you will implement with immediate effect:


Reflection


Objective: Explore why girls are disruptive or challenging and what

motivates these behaviours

Next Steps:

□

□

□

Objective Develop ways of addressing bullying and clique mentality

Next Steps:

□

□

□

Objective Investigate effective strategies to deal with negative behaviours both inside and outside the classroom

Next Steps:

□

□

□

Objective Explore the importance of relationships and ways to improve them

Next Steps:

□

□

□

Objective Establish a consistent whole school approach to managing challenging girls

Next Steps:

□

□

□


Appendix


References Big Bad Bully – H E Marano

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199509/big-bad-bully?collection=65056

Pupil Misbehaviour -

http://www3.ul.ie/epsresources/pup/topic3.htm

Schools Should Encourage Girls to Disrupt

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/07/19/schools-encourage-girls-disruptive-success_n_3623380.html

Do Girls and Boys Bully Differently – S Gordon

https://www.verywell.com/facts-about-bullying-everyone-should-know-460492

Behaviour Management: A Bill Rogers Top 10 – T Sherrington

https://headguruteacher.com/2013/01/06/behaviour-management-a-bill-rogers-top-10/

Similarities and Differences Between boys and Girls – Cook and Cook

http://www.education.com/reference/article/similarities-differences-boys-girls/

Teen Magazines and Their Effect on Girls

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Teen-Magazines-and-Their-Effect-on-Girls.aspx

Additional Resources Mentoring in Schools: A Handbook of Good Practice

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mentoring-Schools-Handbook-Good-Practice/dp/0749431830

Behaviour Management by Bill Rogers

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Behaviour-Management-Whole-school-Bill-Rogers/dp/1412934524/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1465765828&sr=1-3&keywords=bill+rogers+behaviour+management


Appendix


Useful Websites: https://www.tes.com/

https://twitter.com/?lang=en-gb



Whilst Creative Education Ltd and its contributors take care to ensure that all information provided is accurate and true, we cannot and do not guarantee that information provided is correct, up to date or precise.

Neither Creative Education Ltd nor its contributors will be held liable for any improper use of the information described and/or contained herein and assumes no responsibility for anyone’s use of the information. In no event shall Creative Education Ltd or its contributors be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages.

Neither Creative Education Ltd nor its contributors is responsible for the content of any off-site pages that reference, or that are referenced by Creative Education Ltd. The user acknowledges that neither Creative Education Ltd nor its contributors is liable for any defamatory, offensive, misleading or illegal conduct of other users, links, or third parties and that the risk of injury rests entirely with the user.



Whilst Creative Education Ltd and its contributors take care to ensure that all information provided is accurate and true, we cannot and do not guarantee that information provided is correct, up to date or precise. Neither Creative Education Ltd nor its contributors will be held liable for any improper use of the information described and/or contained herein and assumes no responsibility for anyone’s use of the information. In no event shall Creative Education Ltd or its contributors be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages.

Neither Creative Education Ltd nor its contributors is responsible for the content of any off-site pages that reference, or that are referenced by Creative Education Ltd. The user acknowledges that neither Creative Education Ltd nor its contributors is liable for any defamatory, offensive, misleading or illegal conduct of other users, links, or third parties and that the risk of injury rests entirely with the user.

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