glee crush lario

7/31/2019 Glee Crush Lario

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GLEE

"CRUSH"

By

Lena Lario



TEASER

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - TEACHERS’ LOUNGE

Will, Emma, Sue and Beiste eat lunch; Figgins walks in.

FIGGINSWill, you have a call in theoffice.

WILLFrom who?

FIGGINSPrince of Monaco or something likethat.

SUE

Are you sure it wasn’t for me? Theprince and I go way back.

WILLI haven’t gotten a prank call for a while. I must be popular again.

SUEThey call you because you’regullible. And harmless.

EMMA I hate to agree with Sue, but she’s

right. Look what Terri did to you.You’re just too nice.

SUELet me translate, she just calledyou a wimp.

The comment gets under Will’s skin.

BIESTEDon’t listen to her, Will. You’re areal gentleman.

WILL(to Sue)

I’m gonna figure out who thisprankster is, and when I do, I wantan apology.



SUEAn apology would be appropriate ifI was a president and messed around with an intern. I want a bet.

WILL

Fine, and when I win, I want you topublicly acknowledge that the Gleeclub is as important as any otheractivity in this school.

SUESure, it’s right up there withbasket weaving. Oh, wait, you mightactually be able to get a job ifyou make baskets.

Will heads towards the door.

SUE (CONT’D)Tell the prince I’m stillavailable.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - FIGGINS’ SECRETARY BAY - MOMENTS LATER

Will picks up the receiver of an old phone which does nothave a caller id.

WILLListen, man, I’m going to make thisreally easy for you. I got your

number on the caller id, so if youdon’t want to get suspended, youbetter be in the office in two minutes.

INTERCUT

EXT. MONACO VILLA - VERANDA - SAME TIME

A MAN who calls himself JEAN-PIERRE enjoys a cocktail and abreathtaking view of the Mediterranean Sea. We don’t see hisface.

JEAN-PIERREHey, buddy. I’d like to be there intwo minutes, but Will and Kateborrowed my jet for the weekend.You’d think they can afford theirown. I guess they’re saving up forthe baby.

2.



Will is caught off guard when he hears an adult’s voice.

WILLI think you have a wrong number. My wife’s name is Emma and wedefinitely didn’t borrow your jet.

JEAN-PIERREEmma? What happened to Terri? Youtalked about her all the time. It was quite nauseating.

Will desperately tries to figure out who he’s talking to.

WILLWho is this?

JEAN-PIERRERemember when you lost a bet and

had to take a Barbie doll which wenamed Terri on a date?

Will thinks for a few seconds, bingo!

WILLOh my God, Jean-Pierre! I haven’tseen you since that crazy summer inMadrid.

JEAN-PIERRECrazy? It was the best time of mylife.

WILLYou sound like an old man. Whereare you, what’re you doing?

JEAN-PIERRERight now? Sipping a cocktail andenjoying a lovely view of theMediterranean Sea.

Will laughs. The man waves to a WAITER.

JEAN-PIERRE (CONT’D)(to the waiter)

Can I get a refill?

Will realizes that Jean-Pierre is not joking.

WILLI guess it’s evening in Europe.I’ll be sipping a cocktail in a fewhours myself.

3.



FLASH FORWARD to WILL’S EVENING

INT. EMMA AND WILL’S APARTMENT - EVENING

Emma dries dishes, Will grades papers. He shakes his head in

disappointment as he writes D on a paper - it’s the first onein a thick pile. Frustrated Will walks over to the fridge andsearches for a beer. He’s relieved to find one, when he’sjust about to open it -

EMMA On a week night? Why don’t I makeyou some chamomile tea instead?

Will puts the beer back in the fridge.

END FLASH FORWARD

WILLSo, what’s going on? Are you comingto the States? Beckham plays herenow, it’ll be just like the oldtimes.

JEAN-PIERREBeckham doesn’t play footballanymore, he just runs around thefield to stay in shape for tighty whitey commercials. I will come toAmerica soon, after I take care ofsome business. I got a favor to ask

you.

WILLSure, what can I do for you?

Will listens intently for a few seconds. We don’t hear whatJean-Pierre is saying, but we can see that Will is quitesurprised.

WILL (CONT’D)Yeah... I think we can make it work. I’m sure Emma wouldunderstand.

JEAN-PIERREThanks, man. I owe you one.

WILLI’m surprised you didn’t callNicoletta first, you two really hitit off.

4.



Jean-Pierre doesn’t respond for a few seconds.

JEAN-PIERREAre you really that clueless?Nicoletta is my soon to be ex-wife.

WILLWow. Yes, I’m that clueless.

JEAN-PIERREDon’t worry about it, man. I’ll bein touch. Ciao.

Will hangs up the phone.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - EMMA’S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

Emma works on a computer.

EMMA Hey, Will. Did you catch theprankster?

WILLActually, it was a buddy of minefrom college days. I met him duringstudy abroad in Madrid.

EMMA Madrid? You never mentioned it.

WILLIt’s a bit of a blur, Jean-Pierreloved to party.

EMMA Why did he say he was the prince ofMonaco?

WILLThat’s just Jean-Pierre. The guy isthe king of BS. He talked his wayinto every sold out Real Madridgame.

EMMA Maybe you could get him to convincethe School Board not to cut Artsprograms.

WILLGreat idea, but I need to do him afavor first.

5.



EMMA What’s that?

WILLHe’s going through a bad divorce.Apparently he’s some kind of a

public figure in Europe, and allkinds of nasty things are comingout in tabloids. He doesn’t wanthis daughter to be exposed to that.

EMMA Oh. And what can we do?

WILLHe’s asked for his daughter to stay with us for a couple of weeks.She’s sixteen, so she can go toschool here.

Emma was not ready for this.

EMMA With us? In Lima? But she’ll be sobored here. I mean, they havetheater in Europe and the... theOpera.

WILLWe’ve got thousands of teenagershere, they’re not bored. Eventhough we don’t have the Opera. But

that’s a great idea, I love opera.Maybe I should start an opera club.

Now Emma needs to stop Will from coming up with another crazyidea.

EMMA You’re right, she’ll probably befine without the Opera.

Will notices Emma’s hesitation.

WILLWe don’t have to do it if you’renot comfortable with it.

EMMA I don’t mind, but I think it’ll belike having a teenage stepdaughter. She’ll probably thinkabout her mother all the time andhate me.

6.



WILLIt’ll be nothing like that. I can’timagine anybody hating you. Kids inthis school adore you, and I’m sureVeronika will too. They listen toyou because you don’t lecture or

judge. You just genuinely careabout them.

Will’s pep talk worked, Emma smiles.

EMMA Thanks, Will. Find out what shelikes to eat.

INT. EMMA AND WILL’S APARTMENT - NEXT DAY

Emma wears an apron and cleaning gloves, she scrubs a squeaky

clean window. She glances outside and sees a limo pull up tothe entrance.

EMMA Is one of the neighbors getting married?

WILLI haven’t heard anything, why?

EXT. EMMA AND WILL’S APARTMENT - SAME TIME

Bodyguard STEVE unloads piles of suitcases. He opens the doorand extends his hand.

VERONIKA, looking older and more sophisticated than 16,takes his hand and gets out of the car. She wears sunglassesand holds a pooch in her hand.

INT. EMMA AND WILL’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Emma’s jaw drops, Will joins Emma by the window. They watchSteve unload six suitcases.

EMMA How long did you say she’s stayingfor?

END OF TEASER

7.



ACT I

INT. EMMA AND WILL’S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

The door bell rings. Will opens the door. Steve stands in

front of Veronika blocking her from Will’s view.

Will extends his hand. Steve’s eyes are on Emma, he juststares at her. It’s uncomfortably quite for a couple ofseconds; Will clears his throat.

WILLHi, I’m Will Schuester. Welcome toAmerica.

Steve pulls out a metal wand and moves it up and down Will’shand.

WILL (CONT’D)Is that a metal detector?

STEVEGerm eliminator. Ninety nine pointfive percent effective. And for theremaining five percent -

Steve reaches for a small spray bottle and sprays Will’shand.

STEVE (CONT’D)Rub your hands.

Will rubs off the spray and changes his mind about shakingSteve’s hand.

STEVE (CONT’D)(to Veronika)

It’s safe, your highness.

Will and Emma exchange looks, Will forces a laugh.

WILLTrust me, you don’t have to worryabout germs in this house. This is my wife Emma.

Steve gives Emma a bear hug, Emma is caught off guard by hisgreeting. Veronika steps up to them, she hands the pooch toEmma.

WILL (CONT’D)Veronika, would you like to seeyour room?

8.



STEVEShe doesn’t speak English, butdon’t worry, I’ll translate.

Steve speaks loudly and slowly.

STEVE (CONT’D)Would you like to see your room?

Veronika nods, Steve winks at Emma.

STEVE (CONT’D)Five years of French, baby. And myteacher said I’ll never be fluent.

EMMA Why did she give me the dog?

STEVE

She’s used to having maids.

Veronika and Steve walk over to check out her room, Stevecarries the bags.

EMMA Why would she think that I’m the maid?

Will glances at Emma’s apron and gloves.

WILLShe’s probably not that bright.

Emma sneezes.

EMMA Oh, no.

Emma sneezes again, she hands the dog to Will. Steve comesout of the room.

WILLWe have a bit of a problem. Emma’sallergic to the dog. Do you mindtaking him with you?

STEVESure.

Steve takes the dog and sits down on the couch.

WILLI mean, when you leave. I’m sureVeronika will understand.

9.



STEVEI’m staying right here, Mr. WillSchuester. Her Highness requiresbodyguard protection twenty-fourseven.

WILLVeronika is completely safe here,really, you don’t have to worry.

STEVEI’m not worried, not when I havethis.

Steve sprays instant cleaner on a remote control.

STEVE (CONT’D)I haven’t been to the States for a while. Is MASH still on?

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - HALLWAY - NEXT DAY

Rachel and Finn stand by their lockers.

RACHELSo, my dads are planning to turn myroom into an art gallery after Ileave for college. I agree thatthere’s no culture in this town,but my room? It’s be like hostingthe Louvre’s collection in a barn.

Rachel’s words fade as Finn sees Veronika walk down thehallway. Veronika is dressed for the runway, and she walkslike she’s on one. Her long hair is blowing in the wind.

Rachel turns around and sees Veronika walk by.

McKinley High students, including Glee club members, watchher in awe. A NERDY GUY faints.

Puck is drinking water from a water bottle when he seesVeronika; he spills water on his shirt. Veronika doesn’t makeeye contact with anybody except Puck and Artie, who areinstantly struck by her beauty. She looks them up and down,unimpressed.

We pull back and see that Steve is holding a portable fan infront of Veronika making her hair blow in the wind.

He bumps into Sue.

10.



SUEShe’s too young for hot flashes,buddy.

RACHELWhat was that?

FINNWhat?

Rachel stares him down, Finn knows exactly what she’s talkingabout. Rachel walks away from him, he follows.

FINN (CONT’D)Since when you’re the jealous type?

She keeps walking.

FINN (CONT’D)

Look, it’s like a knee jerkreaction. We see a beautiful womanand we turn our head.

RACHELYou’re right about the jerk part.

Will comes up to Steve and takes away the fan.

WILLI thought we agreed to keep it lowkey.

STEVEIt’s so hot in here, she’s going toget a heat stroke.

WILLIf Figgins kicks you out of school,I won’t be able to help.

STEVEGot it. Going into stealth mode.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - SPANISH CLASS

Santana, Brittany, Artie, Sugar, Tina, Sam, Mike and Puck sitin the classroom. Blaine is in the back row.

SANTANA Anybody got intel on the new chick?

11.



ARTIEYou mean the girl who came off aVictoria’s Secret catalog?

TINA You get Victoria’s Secret catalog?

Artie is embarrassed.

ARTIENo, I mean... I always imaginedthat’s what they’d look like.

PUCKDude, it’s cool. Everybody gets it.How else would you be able to tellif a girl is wearing a push up bra?

TINA

You are telling me that you know what type of a bra a girl is wearing?

Puck looks around the room.

PUCKYep. I don’t pay much attention in math, but I’m pretty sure that asmall waist and huge boobs are mutually exclusive. Therefore, theonly way to achieve cleavage is to wear a pushup bra.

SAMThat’s brilliant. Why can’t theyhave this question on SAT?

The guys are impressed, Puck enjoys his moment of fame, butonly for a few seconds. Veronika walks in. Puck takes a sipof water, and once again he spills it on his shirt when hesees her.

Puck sings “Paralyzer” by Finger Eleven.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - HALLWAY - FLASHBACK

Replay of Veronika’s entry scene, where she looks like a model walking on a runway. This time guys are frozen inspace, their faces show the initial reaction to Veronika.

Puck is the only guy who can move. He takes a sip of waterand spills it on his shirt as he sees Veronika.

12.



PUCKI hold on so nervouslyTo me and my drinkI wish it was cooling meBut so far, has not been goodIt’s been crappy

And I feel awkward, as I shouldThis school has got to beThe most pretentious thingSince I thought you and meWell I am imaginingA dark lit placeOr your place or my place

EXT. MCKINLEY HIGH - FOOTBALL FIELD

Football team takes a water break. Cheerleaders run out tothe track for practice. Veronika is one of the new

cheerleaders.

PUCKWell I’m not paralyzedBut, I seem to be struck by youI want to make you moveBecause you’re standing stillIf your body matchesWhat your eyes can doYou’ll probably move right throughMe on my way to you.

Puck gets a drink by the water cooler. Puck takes a sip of

water and spills it on himself.

PUCK (CONT’D)I hold out for one more drinkBefore I thinkI’m looking too desperatelyBut so far has not been funI should just stay homeIf one thing really means oneThis school will hopefullyBe closed in three weeksThat would be cool with meWell I’m still imaginingA dark lit placeOr your place or my place

Puck turns around and see his teammates laughing at him. Hecrashes the paper cup in his hand, throws it to the groundand walks towards the cheerleaders.

13.



PUCK (CONT’D)Well, I’m not paralyzedBut, I seem to be struck by youI want to make you moveBecause you’re standing stillIf your body matches

What your eyes can doYou’ll probably move right throughMe on my way to you

Veronika walks towards the bench to take a drink, and walksthrough Puck on the way.


Puck looks dazed.

SAM

Dude, you’re drooling.

WILLGuys, we have a new exchangestudent, Veronika LaFleur. Veronikais from Monaco.

BRITTANYIs that a jelly bean flavor?

WILLNo, Brittany, it’s a small countrynext to France.

BRITTANYOh, is that where they make winecoolers?

Veronika sits down next to Blaine.

WILLVeronika doesn’t speak muchEnglish, so anybody who speaksFrench - feel free to help her out.

BLAINE(in French)

Bonjour! Soyez la bienvenue.

Veronika ignores him, she puts on headphones and plugs them in to an iDog which she sets on top of her desk. The iDogdances to the music, with an occasional bark.

14.



TINA Third grade flashback. Aren’t thesean antique now?

Veronika’s music is too loud, Will looses his patience.

WILLVeronika, can you please put itaway?

Veronika shrugs her shoulders as if she doesn’t understand.

MIKEMr. Shue, I got this one.

Mike makes different “kill gestures” towards the dog - cutthe throat, strangle, shoot. Veronika doesn’t react.

BLAINE

(in French)Mr. Shuester asked you to put theiDog away.

Veronika shrugs her shoulders again.

ARTIEMaybe it’s your accent.

BLAINEThat’s highly unlikely, I’vestudied French for eight years. Ieven did a complete French

immersion camp in Minnesota.

PUCKI’d ask for your money back.

SANTANA I think that the hair spray killedthe three brain cells she was born with, and now she doesn’t even know what language she speaks.

Will comes up to Veronika and takes away the iDog.

WILLSorry, Veronika. You can have itback after school.

Will places the dog on his desk. When he turns around he seesthat Veronika still has headphones in her ears.

15.



WILL (CONT’D)Do you care to share with us whatyou’re listening to?

Mike gestures “sing”. Unfazed Veronika makes her way to thefront of the room, she plugs the iPod into the iDog. JOE LE

TAXI by Vanessa Paradis starts playing.

Veronika dances to the rumba beat. The girls rolls theireyes, guys are into it.

Will is instantly surprised to hear the song.

VERONIKA Joe le taxi,Y va pas partout,Y marche pas au soda.Son saxo jauneConnaît toutes les rues par cœur,

Tous les p'tits bars,Tous les coins noirsEt la Seine,Et ses ponts qui brillent.Dans sa caisse,La musique à Joe,C'est la rumba,Le vieux rock au mambo.

WILL sees flashbacks of his summer in Europe.

INT. KARAOKE BAR - EVENING

Will dances with NICOLETTA, a friend from his college days. A Barbie doll sticks out from Will’s pant pocket.

VERONIKA Joe, le taxi,C'est sa vie,Le rhum au mambo,Embouteillage.Il est comme ça,Joe - Joe - Joe.Dans sa caisse,La musique à Joe résonne.C'est la rumba,Le vieux rock au mambo bidon.Vas-y Joe,Vas-y Joe,Vas-y fonce,Dans la nuit, vers l'amazone,

Nicoletta sings karaoke. Will watches Nicoletta, he clearlyhas a crush on her.

16.



NICOLETTA Joe le taxi,Et Xavier Cugat,Joe le taxi,Et Yma Sumac,Joe - Joe - Joe,

Joe, le taxi,C'est sa vie,Le rhum au mambo,Embouteillage,Joe le taxi,Et les Mariachis,Joe le taxi,Et le cha-cha-chi,Joe le taxi,Et le cha-cha-chi,Vas-y Joe,Vas-y fonce,Dans la nuit, vers l'amazone


The boys are still in awe. Sugar claps, Tina shoots her alook.

WILLWow. That was very good. Did youyour mom teach you that song?

VERONIKA Pardon?

SUGARDon’t worry, Mr. Shue, I willtranslate.

Sugar says something in French to Veronika. Veronika giggles,and Will is relieved that Veronika found a friend.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - TEACHERS’ LOUNGE - AFTERNOON

Will and Bieste eat lunch. Sue sits at another table, she iseavesdropping on their conversation.

BIESTEI heard you and Emma are hosting anexchange student.

17.



WILLSomething like that. Collegefriends from Europe are gettingdivorced, and they asked for theirdaughter to stay with us for acouple of weeks.

BIESTENice of you to help out.

WILLIt’s crazy, I didn’t even know theygot married. The three of us usedto hang out all the time.

Bieste notices a bit of a dreamy look on Will’s face.

BIESTEAnd?

WILLAnd I had a little crush onNicoletta.

BIESTEBut?

WILLBut I was engaged to Terri at thetime.

Emma walks in with Veronika’s dog. She sneezes.

EMMA Will, take this before I dosomething terrible.

SUEToo late, pumpkin, you’re alreadyengaged to Will.

BIESTEAhhw, what a cutie.

WILLIt’s Veronika’s dog. Emma isallergic to it, I have no idea whatto do with it.

BIESTEI would take it but my newboyfriend loves cats.

18.



SUENew boyfriend?

BIESTEEmma invited me to join a knittingclub after I left Cooter. I really

hit it off with one of the guys.You should come to the next meeting.

SUEI believe that I would be moreentertained by watching Will pullhair out of his nose.

EMMA You’re a strong independent woman,Sue, but having a partner can bringso much more joy to your life. We

still have a few singles in theclub.

SUEYou think I have problems getting adate?

WILLWhen was the last time you wentout?

SUEOh, I see what this is. Let’s have

a pity party for Sue because sheeats dinner by herself and holdshands with her iPhone when she goesfor a walk. But guess what, I’m doing it because it makes me happy.And if I wanted to get a man, he’dbe kissing my feet right now.

WILLNo doubt, Sue.

SUEAre you mocking me? Pick a guy, anyguy, right now, and he’ll bebegging me to go out on a date bythe end of the week.

WILLYou don’t need to prove anything toanybody. I’m sure that there are aplenty of single men that wouldfind you very attractive.

19.



SUEAnd the sky is blue. Tell mesomething I don’t know.

Emma looks like she has a great idea.

EMMA I think you should ask Steve out,he seems a little bored.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - HALLWAY

The hallway is full of students. Steve wears a letter jacket, which is way too small for him. He walks around nodding andsmiling at students - it’s his idea of “blending in”.

Steve approaches Mercedes and raises a hand for a high-five.Mercedes doesn’t react.

STEVENo? How about knuckles?

He makes a fist, Mercedes walks away. Steve opens up his hand makes the explosion sound.

STEVE (CONT’D)She’s da bomb.

Steve makes his way towards Emma’s office.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - EMMA’S OFFICE

Emma cleans her computer with a q-tip. He stares at her for afew seconds before she notices him. Emma looks up, she’sstartled to see Steve.

EMMA Sorry, I didn’t know you were here.

STEVEThat’s expected, I was in a stealth mode.

Emma forces a smile.

EMMA Is everything okay? Does Veronikaneed something?

STEVEShe’s fine. She’s a littlesensitive right now.

20.



EMMA I don’t blame her. Dealing with aparents’ divorce is not an easything.

STEVE

It’s not just that. There arerumors that her dad is not reallyher dad.

EMMA Oh, that’s definitely a lot tohandle for somebody her age.

STEVEHow would you feel if you found outthat your real father was somebodyelse?

EMMA I... I don’t know. I guess I wouldfeel that the real father is theone who raised me.

STEVEBut what if he was young and stupidand had no idea what he was doing?He would do anything now to get hisdaughter back.

Emma thinks for a second. She gets up and looks for a book ona shelf.

EMMA I have a perfect book for that. Let me put something together and we’lltalk to Veronika.

STEVEThat’d be great.

EMMA Can I ask you something?

STEVEAnything but my age. I stoppedcounting after fifty.

EMMA Why do you keep calling VeronikaYour Highness?

Steve writes something on a green sticky note and hands it toEmma.

21.



STEVEThis message will self destruct intwo minutes.

A look of surprise crosses Emma’s face as she reads the message.

EMMA But, how?

Steve takes the message from Emma and puts it in his mouth.He chews, makes a face, and spits it out to the trash can.

STEVEGreen ones taste like crap.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - GLEE CLUB ROOM

Glee club members sit in chairs. Will walks in.

WILLHey, guys, I invited Veronika tojoin us, I hope you don’t mind.

SUGARWe definitely need to increase thehotness index of the club. It’shard to do it all by myself.

RACHELI don’t know if she’ll fit it, Mr.

Shuester, it sounds like the onlynote they teach in Monaco is prettyflat.

TINA We could use new people, I just wish she didn’t act like a -

QUINNPrincess?

WILLGuys, you know what’s it like to bean outsider. Give her a chance.

KURT(to Blaine)

Who’s Veronika?

Veronika walks in. Kurt is impressed by her outfit.

22.



KURT (CONT’D)Oo la la, classy.

Blaine shakes his head “no”.

KURT (CONT’D)

I’ve seen that outfit somewhere.

WILLVeronika, welcome. I’d like for youto meet the members of the Gleeclub. Everybody - this is Veronika.

Veronika says something in French, it’s quite long. Everybodyis impressed, Blaine shakes his head since he’s the only one who can understand what she’s saying. Sugar translates.

SUGARVeronika wants to have dinner in

her room tonight. She hopes it’sbetter than a pile of dirt your wife served last night.

BLAINEYou forgot to translate “with thesmell of cow manure”.

BRITTANYCan you translate for Rory too? Hedoesn’t speak English.

Will is not pleased, but now is not the time to deal with it.

WILLOkay, guys, back to business. Yourtheme for the week is the one, Ibelieve, all of you can relate toreally well.

Will comes up to the white board and writes CRUSH.

MERCEDESCrushes are overrated, Mr. Shue.They are merely an uncontrollablesurge of hormones that leads tonothing good.

SANTANA She’s right. It’s totally barbaric.Take dogs for example, a new Frenchpoodle shows up, and every male doghas to sniff her.

23.



ARTIESo, you are telling me that a crushdoesn’t make you feel like you canfly?

PUCK

They got drugs for that.

BLAINENot every crush has a happy ending.

KURTOurs did.

BLAINEBecause you are a great guy.

SUGARI know exactly what you mean,

that’s why I’m so honest with allthe boys who have a crush on me.I’m a ten, you’re a five and ahalf. So, unless you have enough money to make up the rest of thepoints, don’t even talk to me.

BLAINEMr. Shue, may I?

Blaine sings COOLER THAN ME by Mike Posner. Santana andBrittany dance in the background.

BLAINE (CONT’D)If I could write you a song to makeyou fall in loveI would already have you up under my arm I used up all of my tricks, I hopethat you like thisBut you probably won't, you thinkyou're cooler than meYou got designer shades just tohide your face andYou wear 'em around like you'recooler than meAnd you never say "hey" or remember my nameAnd it's probably 'cause you thinkyou're cooler than meYou got your high brow shoes onyour feetAnd you wear 'em around like itain't shit

24.

(MORE)



But you don't know the way that youlookWhen your steps make that muchnoiseShh, see I got you all figured outYou need every one's eyes just to

feel seenBehind your make up nobody knows who you even areWho do you think that you are?If I could write you a song to makeyou fall in loveI would already have you up under my arm I used up all of my tricks, I hopethat you like thisBut you probably won't, you thinkyou're cooler than meYou got designer shades just to

hide your face andYou wear 'em around like you'recooler than meAnd you never say "hey" or remember my nameAnd it's probably 'cause you thinkyou're cooler than me

Blaine’s look lets Veronika know that the song was intendedfor her, but she doesn’t react.

WILLNice work, Blaine. A crush can

certainly have a dark side.

PUCKI completely disagree. If you don’thook up with your crush, you’re nottrying hard enough.

SANTANA That’s true, once Puck decides toget into somebody’s pants, nothing will stop him.

MIKEMr. Shue, what do you do if youhave a crush on somebody but you’rein a committed relationship.

Tina shoots him a look.

MIKE (CONT’D)Theoretically speaking.

25.

BLAINE (CONT’D)



TINA If you’re in committed relationshipyou wouldn’t get a crush.

WILLWell, Mercedes is right, sometimes

our hormones take over, andcontrolling your urges is what yousign up for when you’re in arelationship.

MERCEDESI’ll tell you exactly what happensif you decide to cheat on Mercedes.Girls, let’s go.

All the girls with the exception of Veronika and Sugar leavethe room.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - BATHROOM

Girls fix their make up.

RACHELI just wanted to let you know thatI’m not worried about Finn, but Iam going to support you.

SANTANA Because he’s been so faithful andkissed Quinn while he was still

dating you.

RACHELHe needed to get the doubt out ofhis mind, and he chose true loveover a crush. Sorry, Quinn.

SANTANA Good thing I’m in the bathroom, Idon’t have to go that far to vomit.

TINA Did you hear what Mike said?

QUINNDon’t worry, he’s so into you. Youguys are two peas in a pod.

BRITTANYI always thought of you two as astrawberry and a banana. You make aperfect smoochy.

26.



INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - AUDITORIUM

The girls perform BEFORE HE CHEATS by Carrie Underwood in theAuditorium. Emma stands by the door and watches theperformance.

MERCEDESRight now he's probably slowdancing with a bleached-blondtramp, and she's probably gettingfrisky...

RACHELRight now, he's probably buying hersome fruity little drink'cause she can't shoot whiskey...

SANTANA

Right now, he's probably up behindher with a pool-stick,showing her how to shoot a combo...And he don't know...

ALL GIRLSThat I dug my key into the side ofhis pretty little souped up 4 wheeldrive, carved my name into hisleather seats...I took a Louisville slugger to bothheadlights, slashed a hole in all 4tires...

Maybe next time he'll think beforehe cheats.

MERCEDESRight now, she's probably upsinging some white-trash version of Shaniakaraoke..

RACHELRight now, she's probably saying"I'm drunk" and he's a thinkingthat he's gonna get lucky,Right now, he's probably dabbing on3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo...And he don't know...

27.



ALL GIRLSThat I dug my key into the side ofhis pretty little souped up 4 wheeldrive, carved my name into hisleather seats,I took a Louisville slugger to both

headlights, slashed a hole in all 4tires...Maybe next time he'll think beforehe cheats.

SANTANA I might've saved a little troublefor the next girl, 'cause the nexttime that he cheats...Oh, you know it won't be on me!No...not on me

Emma comes up to Will.

EMMA Will, can I talk to you for a minute?

Will and Emma step outside the auditorium.


EMMA I think Veronika might be aprincess.

WILLI know, I figured it out a just acouple of minutes ago.

EMMA You didn’t know that Jean-Pierre was a prince?

WILLIt wasn’t Jean-Pierre. He marriedthe princess of Monaco. The threeof us used to hang out together,but she was so down to Earth, I would’ve never guessed she was aprincess.

EMMA I find it hard to believe she choseJean-Pierre over you.

28.



WILLI was engaged to Terri at the time.

EMMA And if you weren’t?

WILLEmma, I don’t know where you aregoing with this.

Emma’s bottled up emotions come out.

EMMA Why haven’t you told me aboutNicoletta? I don’t understand whyyou even agreed to have theirdaughter stay with us. You haven’tseen Jean-Pierre since college, were you really that close?

Will looks disappointed.

WILLIf you don’t want to do this, I’llfigure something out.

Emma thinks for a few seconds.

EMMA I’m sorry, it’s just reallystressing me out. Your friends are my friends. We’ll make it work.

WILLThanks, honey. Let’s work on it onestep at a time, okay? I’m gonnafind something to do for Steve, canyou pick up take out for Veronika?

EMMA Do you think she’ll like EmperorWu’s beef and broccoli?

WILLWhy not? They’re both royals.

Small inside joke cheers Emma up.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - BIESTE’S OFFICE

Will walks in.

29.



BIESTEHey, Will, what’s up?

WILLI need your help.

SHANNONSure, what can I do for you?

WILLVeronika came with a bodyguard, heneeds to be close to her all thetime. Can you find him a job?

SHANNONWhat sport does he know how tocoach?

WILL

I don’t know, we just need a cover.Make him a team manager or a waterboy or something.

SHANNONI have a better idea.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - SUE’S OFFICE

Sue writes in her journal.

SUE (V.O.)

Dear diary, even though you arebusting at the seams with the namesof men who would kill to date SueSilvester, I must take radical measures to avoid becoming thelaughingstock of McKinley High. It would be hard to prove to theseidiots that Facebook had to add aboyfriend category to my personalprofile, which crashed theirservers due to the overwhelmingnumber of requests. I need to findsomebody local, somebody who’ll eatout of my hand like a starvingpigeon in Battery Park.

END OF ACT I

30.



ACT II

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - SUE’S OFFICE

Shannon and Steve walk in, Sue has found her pigeon.

SHANNONHey, Sue. This is Steve.

STEVEHello, beautiful giant.

Sue fakes a laugh, charming this guy is not going to be easy.

SHANNONSue, I know it’s been tough for youto coach both cheerleading andgymnastics after we lost the

gymnastics coach to a trampolineaccident.

STEVEOh my God, is he okay?

SUEHe broke a trampoline at his houseand had to get a second job to buya new one.

SHANNONI found you an assistant coach.

Just the news Sue wanted to hear.

SUEGreat. I’ll see you at practice.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - GYMNASIUM

We see Steve’s upper body, he’s doing the iron cross on stillrings, he is straining to keep his body in the rightposition. We pull back to see that Steve is standing on a mat. Steve is surrounded by several female athletes includingBecky.

Bieste stands by the door and watches them.

STEVEAnd that’s how it’s done. Now yourturn.

31.



BECKYBut coach, girls don’t do stillrings.

STEVEWhat is this, nineteen fifties? Is

this why Rosa Parks didn’t give upher seat? So that you don’t dothings that boys do?

Will walks in and comes up to Bieste.

WILL(to Bieste)

How’s it going?

BIESTEPerfect timing. Sue’s about to makea move.

Sue comes up to Steve.

SUEThat’s brilliant. It’s the mostinnovative teaching technique I’veever seen. Do you mind if I pickyour brain over dinner, my treat?

Steve does athletic stretches.

STEVESorry, Sue. I got plans for

tonight.

BIESTEDon’t do it Sue, don’t beg him.

SUEHow about tomorrow?

STEVEBooked.

SUEWeekend?

STEVEBooked solid. If you don’t mind,I’d like to get back to coaching.(to the team) And this is how trainthe pommel horse.

Steve spanks the pommel horse.

32.



STEVE (CONT’D)You’ve been a bad girl.

Sue glances at Bieste and Will, they are laughing at Steve,but she assumes otherwise.

SUE (V.O.)You think this is funny? We’ll see who’ll laugh last. Nobody can digout dirt better than Sue Silvester.

SUESteve, can I take your picture?It’s for the Year Book.

STEVESure.

Sue snaps a picture of Steve with a smartphone.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - EMMA’S OFFICE - SAME TIME

Emma searches for “Princess of Monaco” on her laptop. Searchresults with pictures come up, but before she can take a lookat the pictures, Finn walks in. Emma quickly closes thelaptop.

EMMA Hi Finn.

FINN

Hi Mrs. Pillsbury. Can I talk toyou for a minute?

EMMA Of course, what can I do for you?

FINNDo you ever get jealous?

Emma is caught off guard, does Finn know something? She turnsaround and looks for books trying to compose herself.

EMMA I should have a book on that.

FINNNo, I mean, you personally.

EMMA Well, Will doesn’t give me anyreasons to be jealous, I completelytrust him.

33.



FINNI wish Rachel was that way. Eversince Veronika showed up every girlat this school is acting crazy. Idon’t understand why they’re soinsecure.

EMMA You have to put yourself in theirshoes. How would you feel if RobertPattinson showed up at the school?

FINNHe seems like a cool dude.

EMMA And you wouldn’t get jealous ifRachel got all giddy around him?

FINNNo, guys like him are like Red Bullfor the girls. It gives them wingsbut then they crush hard. And guyslike me are there to catch them.

It’s no longer clear who’s counseling who.

EMMA But don’t you wish you were the onegiving them wings?

Finn shrugs his shoulders.

FINNI don’t have a fairy godmother, soeither Rachel loves me for who I am or she doesn’t.

Emma thinks for a second.

EMMA You’re right. And I don’t have apalace or maids or a country housein Italy, but that doesn’t meanthat Will will choose her over me.

Finn gives her a confused look. Emma laughs nervously.

EMMA (CONT’D)Sorry, it’s a technique I learnedin counselor training - making up asituation to understand how thestudent feels.

34.



INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - CLASSROOM

Will grades Spanish exams. He gets to Brittany’s exam, andreads Brittany’s note - “Mr. Shue, the exam is in the wronglanguage”. Will shakes his head and puts it aside.

Rachel walks in with a concerned look on her face.

RACHELMr. Schuester, can I talk to you?

WILLOf course, Rachel. Is everythingokay?

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - HALLWAY - SAME TIME

Emma approaches the classroom. She sees Rachel and decided to

wait outside. While waiting, she overhears theirconversation.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - CLASSROOM - CONTINUOUS

RACHELDid you have a crush on Ms.Pillsbury while you were still married?

Will did not expect the question.

WILLLook, Rachel, it’s complicated. Thepoint is that Emma and I didn’t gettogether until I got divorced. Youhave to close one door before youopen the other one.

RACHELDid you just wake up one day andrealize that you don’t love your wife?

WILLI loved her when we got married,but then I realized that we’re twocompletely different people. We met when I was your age, I barely knew who I was at the time.

Rachel is visibly upset. Will realized that she’s askingbecause of her own relationship concern.

35.



WILL (CONT’D)But - I know a lot of couples who met at a young age and stayedtogether.

RACHEL

Like who?

WILLLike ah -

Will struggles to come up with names.

WILL (CONT’D)Romeo and Juliet?

RACHELThey died.

Emma steps in.

EMMA Sorry, but I overheard the tail endof your conversation. My parents met when they were your age, andthey’ve always been quite happy.Actually, they seem even happiersince I left the house.

RACHELThanks, Ms. Pillsbury.

INT. EMMA AND WILL’S APARTMENT - LATER

Emma unlocks the door, she carries takeout bags. Emma isstartled to see Steve, who stands on a ladder and cleans thelight fixture. Emma screams.

STEVEThat’s what I said when I saw theamount of dust on this thing.

EMMA But I dusted yesterday.

STEVEExactly.

EMMA Thank you, but you really don’thave to do that.

36.



STEVEPlease - the only thing that’s morefun is disinfecting doorknobs, andI’ve done it twice today already.

They laugh.

EMMA I brought take-out for Veronika.

STEVEJust leave it outside the door.Don’t worry, she’ll warm up. She’sactually a pretty nice kid.

EMMA How long have you been herbodyguard?

Steve gets down from the ladder.

STEVESince she was a baby.

Steve takes his germ wand and waves it around himself.

EMMA Isn’t it hard to be away from yourfamily for so long?

STEVEWho wants to be married to this?

Emma forces a smile.

STEVE (CONT’D)I put together some pictures - justin case people get suspicious about me living here. So, I’m your dad, who’s visiting for a few weeks.

Emma looks around - Steve put a bunch of photoshoped picturesin frames.

EMMA But I already have a father.

STEVEFine, but do you have a cool unclelike this?

Steve shows her a picture with Emma and Steve skydiving.

37.



STEVE (CONT’D)Did your Mom date much before shegot married?

Emma is caught off guard by the question.

EMMA She never really talked about it.

STEVEShe never mentioned a really coolguy who took her to the RollingStones concert in London?

Emma laughs.

EMMA You obviously don’t know my Mom.The farthest she’s been from here

is Cleveland.

END OF ACT II

38.



ACT III

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH SCHOOL - HALLWAY

Rachel and Kurt stand by the lockers. Kurt gets an In Style

magazine and flips through the pages. On the page titledMilan Fashion Show he sees a picture of a model wearing thesame outfit as Veronika.

KURTWell, that’s interesting.

Kurt points at the picture.

KURT (CONT’D)The show was last month, andVeronika is wearing it today. Ithink we got ourselves a little

fashionista. We can be like Sex inthe City. She’ll be Carrie, I’ll beCharlotte, and you... eitherSamantha or Miranda.

RACHELI’m either a slut or a bore? Whycan’t I be Carrie?

Kurt looks her up and down, unimpressed by her outfit.

RACHEL (CONT’D)I can’t believe you’re falling for

it too.

KURTWhat’s “it”? Yes, she is beautiful,but that doesn’t mean she is a badperson.

RACHELAnd you know that because you werein a band camp together and sharedstories by the campfire?

KURTLook, Rachel, you have to get overthis. You’re going to be inshowbiz, there will always bepeople who are prettier than youand more talented than you. Is thishow you are going to handle it?

39.



RACHELThat’s different. Finn is not goingto be drooling all over them.

KURTThis is not about Finn. It’s about

you. Stop comparing yourself toother people. You’ll always be goodenough for me and for other people who love you.

Rachel gives him a hug.

KURT (CONT’D)Now let’s go find out whereVeronika got this outfit.

RACHELFine, but can I be Charlotte?

KURTShe does marry a funny looking guyat the end, so I guess it’s a yes.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH SCHOOL - SUE’S OFFICE - SAME TIME

Sue does a google image search on Steve’s photo. She gets ahit - a picture of Steve escorting a young woman who’scovering her face past the paparazzi. The picture title is“Princess of Monaco leaves Charity Ball”

SUEPrincess?

FLASHBACK to VERONIKA’S ENTRANCE


Steve bumps into Sue.

SUEShe’s too young for hot flashes,buddy.

END FLASHBACK

SUE (CONT’D)And too pretty to be from aroundhere. Now, why would a princess want to come here?

40.



Sue goes back to reading google search results. One of thearticles is titled “Who’s the real father of Monacoprincess?”

FLASHBACK to Veronika’s Joe le Taxi performance.


Sue walks by Spanish class as Veronika sings, she noticesWill’s daydreaming face.

END FLASHBACK

Sue smiles.

SUE (V.O.)No, it can’t be that easy. Getready Will Schuester, your dirty

little secret is about to come out.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH SCHOOL - WEIGHT ROOM

Sam, Mike, Puck, Blaine work out with weights, Kurtstretches. A couple of football players are also in the room.Artie rolls in.

ARTIEGuys, I need your help.

MIKE

With what?

ARTIEI know what’s it’s like to be anoutsider, and I’d like to cheerVeronika up with a song.

PUCKDude, that’s so pathetic.

SAMReally? Is that why you’ve stayedto practice after class yesterday?

BLAINEDon’t do it, Artie. You gonna pouryour heart out, and she’ll crushit.

41.



KURTOh, come on, it’s so romantic.Remember when we used to sing foreach other?

BLAINE

The honeymoon stage doesn’t lastforever. I will always love you,but it’ll never feel like the firstfew weeks.

Hostile-looking football players stare at Kurt and Blaine.

SAMGuys, you may want to take thisconversation outside.

Kurt and Blaine walk out of the weight room to -

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

KURTWhat was that all about?

BLAINEYou know what I’m talking about,you feel it too.

KURTIf the honeymoon is over, whatstage are we in?

BLAINEA good one, the one where we’reeach other’s best friends.

Kurt is not too happy with the answer.

BLAINE (CONT’D)What do you want me to do? Get youroses every day?

KURTI know what I don’t want - settledown for a routine just becauseeverybody else does.

Artie rolls out of the room.

ARTIEDo you think it’s stupid to dothis?

42.



KURTNo act of love is stupid. I can’tguarantee that you won’t crash andburn, but it’s still worth a try.

BLAINE

There’s no way that you can be inlove. You haven’t even talked toher yet.

KURTI beg to differ. Sometimes you justknow.

Finn comes up to them.

KURT (CONT’D)Just ask Finn.

FINNWhat are we talking about?

KURTAll the amazing and wonderfulthings you’d do for love.

Finn is a bit confused.

FINNIf this is about checking a mole onyour butt, I’m not doing it again.Go see a nurse.

Everybody stares at Kurt, Blaine looks disappointed.

BLAINEYou asked him to do it?

KURTLook, it was late and I was reallystressing out over it.

BLAINEYou could’ve called me.

KURTCalled you as in Skype video call?Hello, this is Kurt’s butt calling.

FINNI do not want to hear another wordof this conversation.

Artie and Finn walk away.

43.



INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - AUDITORIUM - CONTINUOUS

Glee club members sit in the audience. Artie and Kurt sing IKNEW I LOVED YOU by SAVAGE GARDEN.

KURTMaybe it's intuitionBut some things you just don'tquestionLike in your eyes, I see my futurein an instantAnd there it goes,I think I found my best friend

ARTIEI know that it might soundMore than a little crazyBut I believe

I knew I loved you before I met youI think I dreamed you into lifeI knew I loved you before I met youI have been waiting all my life

It’s the perfect “make up” song, traces of jealousy betweencouples are gone.

KURTThere's just no rhyme or reasonOnly the sense of completionAnd in your eyes, I seeThe missing pieces I'm searching

forI think I've found my way homeI know that it might soundMore than a little crazyBut I believe

KURT/ARTIEI knew I loved you before I met youI think I dreamed you into lifeI knew I loved you before I met youI have been waiting all my life

KURTA thousand angels dance around youI am complete now that I've foundyou

KURT/ARTIEI knew I loved you before I met youI think I dreamed you into lifeI knew I loved you before I met youI have been waiting all my life

44.



Puck glances at Veronika, she doesn’t seem too impressed.Veronika walks up to Artie, who is still sitting on thestage. All eyes on her. Veronika reaches down to Artie’spants fly. Everybody exchanges surprised looks. Veronikacloses Artie’s unzipped fly.


Puck puts books into his locker. Veronika walks by, onceagain, Puck stands frozen with a silly smile. Quinn watcheshim.

Quinn comes up to Puck.

QUINNLooks like somebody’s got a crushon the new girl.

PUCKThe crush that’s about to turn intoa love connection.

QUINNYou need help, Puck. Girls likeVeronika don’t just fall for guyslike you.

Puck smirks.

PUCKYou did.

Quinn shoots him a look - don’t go there.

PUCK (CONT’D)What’s your point?

QUINNI can help you.

PUCKWhy?

QUINNBecause you’re the father of mychild. I’d rather you hang out withVeronika than some goth chick.Plus, she’s bilingual, maybe Beth will pick up some French from her.

Puck considers it for a few seconds.

45.



PUCKSo, what’s your plan.

QUINNYou have to surprise her. Actually,not surprise, shock her. She thinks

that she knows who you are.

PUCKAnd who’s that?

QUINNTough guy, athletic build, averageintelligence. You have to come up with something that will make hercurious. Show her that there’s moreto Puck than -

PUCK

Handsome ruggedness?

QUINNI was going to say overinflatedego, but sure, that works.

Quinn leaves. Puck’s wheels are turning.

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - GIRLS BATHROOM

Rachel comes in, she hears somebody talk on the phone in thestall, she doesn’t know who it is until she notices

Veronika’s shoes.

VERONIKA You have no idea how lame it ishere, everybody is so stupid. Ishould’ve asked for twice as much money.

Rachel crosses her arms and waits for Veronika to come out.

VERONIKA (CONT’D)I know, I miss you too.

Veronika comes out. She’s surprised to see Rachel, but notintimidated.

VERONIKA (CONT’D)Your seat has been warmed, YourHighness.

Rachel thinks of a clever come back but nothing comes out.Finally, as Veronika is about to walk out -

46.



RACHELYou’re no Carrie Bradshaw. She’skind and supportive, and you arejust arrogant. Charlotte wouldnever have such person for afriend.

Veronika gives her a confused look.

RACHEL (CONT’D)It’s from Sex and the City, theyprobably don’t show any Americanclassics Europe.

Veronika smirks.

VERONIKA You think you can pull off Carrie?

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - GLEE CLUB ROOM - LATER

Glee club members sit in chairs. Veronika walks in followedby Rachel. Veronika sits down in a chair next to Sugar.Rachel stands in front of the room.

RACHELMr. Schuester, I have anannouncement. Veronika has beenlying to us, she speaks perfectEnglish, I overheard her talking inthe bathroom.

WILLVeronika, is that true?

VERONIKA Yes, Mr. Schuester.

RACHELShe wasn’t talking to us becauseshe thought we were stupid.

VERONIKA That’s not what I said. I wasafraid you’d think that I’m stupid.Because of my accent.

The guys buy it;the girls, especially Rachel are furious.

WILLDon’t worry about it, Veronika.Everybody in this country has anaccent.

47.



ARTIEI think your accent is really cute.

TINA She sounds like she’s got a bunchof jelly beans in her mouth.

BRITTANYThat’s because she’s from Monaco,it’s a jelly bean flavor.

Puck walks in, he is wearing a tux. Everybody is surprised tosee him all dressed up.

WILLPuck, looking good, buddy. What’sthe occasion?

PUCK

Just trying to get in the right setof mind for the assignment. May I?

WILLOf course, go right ahead.

Puck sings HAVEN’T MET YOU YET by Michael Buble.

PUCKI'm not surprised, not everythinglastsI've broken my heart so many timesI stopped keeping track

Talk myself in, I talk myself outI get all worked up then I let myself downI tried so very hard not to looseitI came up with a million excusesI thought, I thought of everypossibilityYou'll make me work so we can workto work it outAnd I promise you kid that I giveso much more than I getI just haven't met you yet

EXT. MCKINLEY HIGH - PARKING LOT

Veronika sits in a convertible, she can’t start it. Puckpulls up in an old rusty truck. He hooks up jumping cables.

48.



PUCKAnd I know some day that it’ll allturn outI might have to wait, I’ll nevergive upI guess it's half timin and the

other half's luckWherever you are, whenever it'srightYou'll come outta nowhere and into my lifeAnd I know that we can be so amazinAnd baby your love is gonna change meAnd now I can see every possibilitySomehow I know that it’ll all turnoutYou'll make me work so we can workto work it out

And promise you kid I'll give so much more than I getI just haven't met you yet

EXT. STREET

Puck and Veronika cruise in her car.

They say all’s fair in love and warBut I won’t need to fight itWe'll get it right and we'll beunited

And I know that we can be so amazinAnd bein in your life is gonnachange meAnd now I can see every singlepossibilityAnd someday I know it'll all turnoutAnd I'll work to work it outPromise you kid I’ll give more thanI getI just haven't met you yetI just haven't met you yetOh promise you kid to give so much more than I getI said love love love love lovelove loveI just haven't met you yet.

49.



INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - GLEE CLUB ROOM

WILLWow, Puck, great job. I guessthere’s a little Buble in all ofus.

Veronika is pleasantly surprised. Puck sits down next toVeronika, she extends her hand.

VERONIKA I’m Veronika.

Puck kisses her hand.

PUCKEnchanté.

INT. EMMA AND WILL’S APARTMENT - EVENING

Emma, Will and Steve eat dinner. Will notices that Emma andSteve use the same gestures as they rearrange silverware tobe in a perfect spot.

EMMA Do you still want me to talk toVeronika about her dad?

STEVEDo you think she is ready?

EMMA I don’t think it’s something you’reever ready for, but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it.

Door bell rings, Will gets up to open the door. He issurprised to see Sue. Sue carries a pan of brownies.

WILLHey, Sue, is everything okay?

SUEYes, yes, I just stopped by to...to talk to Emma. Girl stuff.

WILLSure, come on in.

SUESmells great in here.

50.



WILLWe’re just finishing dinner.

SUEWhat a coincidence, I just happenedto bake some brownies. I always

bring a few along just in case Iget hungry. How about we have somefor desert?

Emma and Sue exchange looks as if they’ve planned something.

EMMA That’s really nice of you. Let mehelp you dish them out.

Emma and Sue walk over to -

INT. EMMA AND WILL’S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

Emma and Sue dish out brownies.

SUEThank you so much for letting me dothis. I’ve never had a man turn medown once he tasted my brownies.

EMMA No problem, Sue. I hope it worksout.

INT. EMMA AND WILL’S APARTMENT - DINING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Emma and Sue serve brownies.

SUEIsn’t Veronika going to join us?

STEVEI’ll get her.

Steve walks out of the room to get Veronika.

SUEI’m going to win this bet, Will.

EMMA If you get a date out of this,everybody wins.

Veronika and Steve come back in. Everybody but Sue takes abite.

51.



Facial expressions show that the brownies taste terrible. Suesmirks, everybody tries to swallow, but they can’t,eventually the gag reflex kicks in and they spit it out backon the plates.

It’s uncomfortably quite for a few seconds.

SUEWell, saying that I’m embarrassed would be a huge understatement.

EMMA Don’t worry about it Sue, maybe youjust confused sugar with bakingsoda.

SUEThe least I can do is help youclean it up.

Sue takes Will’s and Veronika’s plates and takes them to thekitchen. She’s about to put the spit out brownies to ziplogbags when Emma walks in with additional plates and sets them next to the plates that Sue brought in.

Emma dumps out one of the brownies into the sink garbagedisposal.

EMMA I’m so sorry, Sue.

Sue is in panic mode, she doesn’t want Emma to dump out the

rest of the brownies.

SUECan you get my purse, I’m justgonna go home and hide in a doghouse.

EMMA Sure.

Emma leaves. Sue looks at the four plates, she’s no longersure which ones were Will and Veronika’s. Sue dumps browniesfrom two plates into separate ziplock bags and hides them before Will and Emma walk in.

SUEI’m going to make an announcementtomorrow.

WILLI haven’t won the bet yet.

52.



SUEBut I’ve lost mine. I don’t thinkSteve and I are going on a date anytime soon.

WILL

You don’t need to do this.

SUEIt’s not about the bet, it’s abouthonesty and integrity. I promisedto do you a favor, Will, and that I will do. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Sue and Emma leave. Will cleans up the dishes, Emma comesback.

EMMA Poor Sue, she’s fallen pretty hard

for Steve.

Emma helps Will, he embraces her.

WILLNot as hard as I’ve fallen for you.

EMMA You’re just saying that becauseI’ve been acting like a jealousteenage girl.

WILL

I did have a crush on Nicoletta,every guy with eyesight did. But itcame and went like an Aprilsnowstorm.

EMMA And what kind of snowstorm are wein?

WILLThe kind that they have inAntarctica.

INT. SUE’S HOUSE - EVENING

Sue uses a DIY DNA test kit on pieces of spit out brownies.Sue smiles as she sees a match displayed in the test tube.

53.



INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - SUE’S OFFICE - NEXT DAY

Sue makes a radio announcement.

SUEDear students, I have an important

announcement. It’s hardly a secretthat for years Mr. Schuester and Ihave engaged in a friendlycompetition. And while for mecompetition is always about winning, for William it’s aboutteaching a lesson.

INTERCUT

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - WILL’S OFFICE

Will works on a lesson plan, he smiles expecting Sue to saysomething nice about the Glee club.

SUEAnd today’s lesson is about facingyour past. Will has been a wonderful father figure for many ofyou. Doesn’t it make you wonder whyhe’s given up evenings, weekends,and holidays to be with a bunch ofsinging chipmunks?

INTERCUT

INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - TEACHER’S LOUNGE

Emma pours herself a cup of coffee.

SUEHis big heart, of course, andguilt. Guilt that he couldn’t sharethese moments with his own child.But the exciting day has come, I’m happy to announce that Will’sdaughter is now attending McKinleyHigh, and I encourage you all to welcome her to our big happyfamily.

54.

glee crush lario

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