FAKULTI BAHASA DAN PENDIDIKAN

OUMH1303

ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION

TITLE: What does it takes to be a good parent?

NAME : PIENG NGEE CHING

STUDENT ID :

E-MAIL :

TEL. NO/ HP :

TUTOR :

1

What does it takes to be a good parent?

Good morning ladies and gentleman,

I’m Norhayati Dahrol from Brainy Montessori gather you today to give you some input of being a good parents and well in parenting. ‘What does it takes to be a good parent?‘ Before we go deep inside this topic, let’s go through the meaning of parents, parenting and ‘good parents’. According to Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English, parents are the father or mother of a person or animal. Of course today we are focusing on human, so let’s pretend that there is no ‘animal’ written. Next, what is parenting? Parenting is the technique or ways to look after the own kids or child that you have. Then what is ‘a good parent’? A good parent comes when you manage to cope up with the children of yours, building them, controlling them you way, making them happy as well as yourself. A good parent is the key of happiness in a family. Therefore, he question now is, how?

Dear parents and future parents,

There are steps on how to become a good parent and what does it take to be a good parent. It comes from the way you use to manage your children, and it depends on the characteristic of the child of you have. This is because every different child has their own unique character or talent or even attitude, this due to the difference from what is in the inside of them and the environment they live in. The spirit is different, however all children need the same thing from their parents which we called love. There steps that we can follow to become better parents in the future.

Firstly, try to show love and care upon the child. The purpose is to make the child of your feels loved. A good example is birthday. It is celebrated every year from the day they were born until today. By

2

forgetting the birthday will create a big disappointment for the child. So, from now on, celebrate big events together, where everyone gathers around to spend precious time together. From all we know, the children needs are our attention. Much attention given to the child makes them feel more cared and supported. In my experience, good deeds will be paid as well. When you always celebrated someone, some will celebrate you too. Every mother’s or father’s day, my child will gather together and quietly making surprises for me and my husband. Well, although we do already know, we just let them do the way they want to show their appreciation for us. It is a very best moment in my life and that is why I do not even care about anything when it comes for the good to my kids. Well, there is no doubt that they are just so sweet. Life teaches me a lot and it is possible if the children of yours are your teachers too. They can teach you on how to manage your future using the experience they given onto you. Therefore, love your child as much as you want them to love you too and celebrate your child as they can feel that someone will always be there for them.

The next step is, show the kids on how to respect others privacy and be consistent in parenting. Create rules at home, where there is no exception to anybody including you yourself. Rules are rules and they are not made to be broken. This can help them to discipline themselves. In my observation, whenever you implemented it since they were little, and when they grow up, the rules are naturally become a habit. I had tried it once to my little boy, he do really love to play outside the house, even in the morning where my neighbors have the kids who same age as him, they always play together and making their experiments upon things that I do know and I do not know what they plan on. However, he just went out without taking any bath, and playing around using his pajamas. So, one day I thought to myself that this should stop and an action should be taken. Therefore, I told him, that if he does not take any bath, he is prohibited to walk out the door to play outside. Well, at first it is hard and I have to lock the door and windows to avoid him to go outside, he cries all morning because of he do not want to take any bath in the morning, and

3

one day, he woke up early I heard the showers is turned on, I slowly slip out from my room and I saw him walking out from the bathroom. I have no reason to lock him in anymore, so happily he went out to play. From that day, he usually takes his bath early in the morning and I do not need to force him to take bath in the morning because he already did. I see this as a good example and I do this to all my girls too, and now they do wake up early straight to the bathroom. Therefore, when the rules are made, try to teach them even it is hard. It is needed to discipline them from the early age so they will always remember it until they grow up. I did the same to clothes, bags, even after eating as there must be rules for everything. However, the kids also need time for themselves to go with their own way, and if these happen, try to review back weather it is good or not before you act.

The other way to be good parents is to avoid favoritism. As you all know, very children needs care and concern, but having a person in the family that you love the most should be avoided. Everyone should be treated equally. Especially for the naughtiest one, although you see him as the bad fruit, actually, be is the most beautiful gift from God. I got a neighbor and his kids always hang out at my place, and I do welcomed him, and he do always talk to me about his problem with his parents. He told me that his parents boasted about his sisters who did exams well but if he done well, his parents did not even looked at him. I have tried to give him some motivation and support, and as I can learned from it, even a small difference that you mad between any children of yours, it is actually a big deal or them. The easy way that you can practice is ‘If I do this, is it fair for them?’ So, think twice before you said, and before you do, because nobody want to be left behind and feel abandoned by his or her own family, we never know the outcome.

Ladies and gentleman,

The next step is to make the child safer. Everybody knows that there is no other place safer that give you much comfort that you need than family. Everyone experience it. But, how about the child condition if

4

he is outside the house? I have got information from an article from National School Of Climate Centre, on Creating Safe and Caring home. There is a hierarchy of "feeling safe," the most fundamental level of which is physical safety. If we don't feel safe from physical threat or injury, children and adults alike are anxious and unable to attend to social and or emotional concerns, the second and third levels of hierarchical need. Social safety refers to an interpersonal sense of being safe from verbal abuse, teasing and or threats. Emotional safety refers to an internal sense of being safe.

Understandably and appropriately, parents are first and foremost focused on issues of physical safety. To the extent that physical safety is not present, it will undermine our ability to function, to learn and to teach. However, in order to feel safe and connected to their environment, children need to know that they are free not only from physical harm but also from forms of verbal/social aggression, be it bullying or sexual or emotional threats. In recent years, more and more schools have developed anti-bullying programs. Establishing meaningful relationships between children and adults increases the likelihood that students will feel comfortable sharing their safety concerns with caring adults. Children who feel "connected" and safe at home and also at school the other things that you can do are to accept who they are, to support what they do and to be there when they need you.

When I was small, I am a netball player, in my final match, I do felt really scared, and I am nervous, but whenever my mom told me to be strong, I felt like there is a power that pushed me from behind which were telling to me, I can do it, I really do, and at last, the trophy is mine. I do this to my kids, and thanks God, they are all grown up, ready to build a family of their own. All my effort I do it with no regret. Therefore, be strong even when you are in the hardest time, and you will never know what God will give you later.

There is no such thing as ‘perfect parents’, everybody make mistakes in life. But, there is always a place for good parents. The entire

5

thing you need is to be flexible in parenting. Based on Denny Hagel, the author of books of parenting style, as parents we need to be flexible in our opinions and actions and be willing to make adjustments that make sense. Choosing to be flexible does not mean you are simply giving in to your child's every whim that they get their way to avoid tantrums. What it does mean is that you evaluate each situation to see if it warrants the tremendous amount of energy that a battle of wills requires, or if it is a situation that can be diffused by being flexible. The things that I know are, when you deal with the children, the come with different attitude, and sometimes you need another way to deal with the child, as I told you earlier, every child have their own unique personality that maybe it is hard to deal with but, everything can be solved if we try.

If there is no solution, try to communicate with the kids. Many parents communicate with children through punishments. When kids cry, they take out a stick or show a gesture of punishments to scare kids. Each parent has to know that punishment is the most destructive method of disciplining a child. Punishment means blame, shame and humiliation to children. Of course a punishment or gesture of possible punishment will communicate with the children and they may obey what parents say, but it is a negative way of conditioning the behaviour of kids. You may succeed in creating very silent and obedient kids with punishment, but lack of self esteem, communication disabilities, depression are the expected in the future life.

Therefore, how to communicate? Use proper language when talking to children. Kids learn everything easily in the childhood as they are born with a blank mind. What all parents teach at infancy can become integrated element of child's behavior. Thus, teaching proper language and communication is essential. Using proper language doesn't mean using the same language used between adults. The children understanding are different; therefore, If you talk to them in clear language, they will learn to respond back clearly. Talk to them with examples. If you want them to pick an apple and bring to you, show them

6

an apple and ask them to bring an apple. Same way, if you want to tell them that his or her room is messy, point out on the objects that are scatters around and show them how to clan the room. Next time when you want them to bring and apple or want them to clean their rooms, you need to show them again, but just tell them verbally.

The next thing is, never avoid any of the questions from your children. Being highly curios at what all they see, children tend to ask questions all the time. However silly, the questions they ask, answer them properly. Avoiding them without attending their questions will make them not ask or talk to the parents. Encourage children whenever they talk, and include them in family talks. Constructive criticism and generous praise is suggested for children. Never talk bad about children to a third person in the presence of children. This will create adverse results. Never interrupt kids when they communicate or say something. Find time to spend with children and listen to them and talk to them. Kids love listeners than talkies. Listening to them will help to develop the verbal skill of children and also to excel in academic levels later in life. Therefore, Communicating with children is a skillful art. Kids just do not speak through the mouth. They use the entire body to communicate and convey. They used gestures, body movements, look, cries, and everything to express their emotions. In this case, a parent should understand the clues given to give an answer to what is happening.

Among all the above, all the things you need to be alert is, children of the same age needs time. They have to adapt with the social environment that they will create. It is common if the kids are fighting just because of some little matter. It is one of the steps taken for them to grow up. Besides, the child maturity level will be different. Some children manage to achieve their maturity level early and this commonly happen to the girls, however the boys maturity level will come out a little bit slower than the girls. Therefore, the differences in attitude and behaviors between the girls and the boys are completely different. Besides that, the way that the child develops can influence their behavior. The

7

environment, the ways the child grows up also represent on how their parents are. This is due to the similarities between the parents and the child. So, due to this, raise your child well, so that one day you are able to be proud to have them as your precious in life. Every child have their own talent and specialty, that’s why they are called a gift from God.

As a conclusion, there are no measurements to classify parents as best and worse. It is purely subjective and if the parents act in the best possible ways in the given situation using the best available resources, then they are best parents. Parenting is an action performed with a goal of wellbeing and perfect growth and development of children. Therefore, the skills is needed or a parent to be a good parents. At last, every child have their own unique personality that maybe it is hard to deal with but, everything can be solved if we try.

Thank You.

2515 words

8

REFERENCES

Sivagnanachelvi S.,Chong P.W., Chua E.K.,& Norazlina M. (2012). OUMH1303: English for Oral Communicaton . Selangor: OUM.

Mayor,M.& oth. (2009). Dictionary of Contemporary eNGLSH. Milan: Longman.

J., L. (n.d.).

Pediatrics, A. A. (2004). Caring for your School- Age child : Age 5-12. America: American Acedemy Of Pediatrics.

Empowering Parents. Retrieved June 10, 2014, from Consistent Parenting: How to Unlock the Secret: http://www.empoweringparents.com/Consistent-Parenting-Unlock-The-Secret.php#

National School Climate Centre. (n.d.). Retrieved June 08, 2014, from Creating Safe and Caring Home: http://www.schoolclimate.org/parents/safeHome.php

Prokerala Kids. (n.d.). Retrieved June 09, 2014, from How to Communicate with Children: http://www.prokerala.com/kids/parenting/communication-with-children.php

Prokerala Kids. (n.d.). Retrieved June 09, 2014, from How to acquire parenting skills?: http://www.prokerala.com/kids/parenting/parenting-skills.php

9