great marriage book

8/4/2019 Great Marriage Book

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This book is dedicated to

my daughter, Kelly,in hopes that she

can be as happy

with the man of her dreams,

her husband, Dan,

as I have been with her Dad.


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As Kelly has set out on each new

journey of her life, I have held my

breath and wondered, Have Iadequately prepared her? As she

walks the path of matrimony, I am

experiencing the same anguish. In this

book, I have compiled some small bits

of wisdom acquired throughout my

thirty years of marriage to her Dad. Ipass them on with love because they

have worked so beautifully for us. I

can only wish her and Dan the same

blessing of everlasting love and

commitment.


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Always kiss him goodnight.

Although you work hard and getjustifiably tired, remember your lifetogether is actually what you areworking for. Kissing him should be apleasure not a chore.


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Be respectful and kind to him

and his family. They will all play a veryimportant role in your marriage. Youlove him and he loves them. Thank hismother for raising such a wonderfulyoung man.


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Choose him. When torn by

indecision about whose side to take orwith whom to spend your precious time,choose him.


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Dont put yourself down.

Remember, youre talking about hiswife. Others learn how to treat us by ourexample. If you disrespect yourself, hecould end up agreeing with yousomeday.


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Expect all that you deserve.

Keep your expectations for him and yourmarriage high. Make sure heunderstands what your values andboundaries are and then live by themyourself.


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Fight for him and your

marriage. Be soft and kind when youcan, but become a tigress when it comesto your man. Let nothing or no onecome between you.


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Give in sometimes; learn to

choose your battles. Opt for happinessover righteousness. It is not a sign ofweakness to initiate the first movetoward reconciliation; it actually showsgreat strength and maturity.


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Hold his hand, touch him,

kiss him. Let him know that he meanseverything to you. Without extremepublic displays of affection, let the worldknow too.


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Initiate intimacy. Show himthat you want him and are not justgiving in to his desires. Make him feelirresistible.


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Just be yourself. Remember,

he chose you because he loves you justthe way you are. Be the person hebelieves you to be.


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Keep your love alive. Go on

dates; spend quiet evenings at home,just the two of you. Set aside some timeevery day just to be together. Neverforget why you married him.


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Listen to him. Hear his

hopes and dreams as well as his worriesand disappointments. Let him knowthat you are there to share the goodtimes and the bad. Help him achieve hisgoals, but give him a soft place to landwhen he doesnt.


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Make him feel like a man.

Dont belittle him in front of his friends.Actually, dont belittle him at all. Makehim glad he married you and makeeveryone else envy what hes found afriend, lover, confidante and partner allrolled into one.


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Nip your problems in the

bud. When something bothers you, tellhim. Encourage him to do the same.Dont let things build up until thedamage becomes irreparable.


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Offer your smile when hes

sad and your shoulder to cry on. Offeryour hand when hes in need or simplyjust because. But above all, offer yourheart every minute of every day.


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Point out inappropriate or

unacceptable behavior. Its easy tobecome complacent when in acomfortable relationship. If yourecognize a pattern that could bedetrimental to your marriage, speak up.Sometimes we all need little reminders.

Be prepared for him to do the same.


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Quell his fears. Show your

strength when he is feeling weak oroverwhelmed. Allow him to lean on youas you lean on him. Help him carry theload of everyday life.


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Respect him as both your

husband and an individual. Let himknow his opinions matter. Trust himand be worthy of his trust.


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Sleep in the nude. This will

practically guarantee that each andevery day there will be some sort ofintimacy between the two of you. It mayonly be a quick, gentle touch in themorning, but your memory will linger inhis mind throughout the day.


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Tell him you love him first.

While I love you, too is always nice tohear, it can sometimes sound like anautomatic response. Say it first becauseyou feel it; say it because you mean it.


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Understand that although

you are alike in many ways, you are alsodifferent. First and foremost, he is aman and you are a woman. Obviously,thats what brought you together in thefirst place. Dont expect him to think

like a woman any more than you thinklike a man. You wont always see eye toeye, but thats okay. Love each other notnecessarily because of your differences,but in spite of them.


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Vow to keep your vows. You

promised before God, your family andfriends to be a loving, faithful wife.Keep your promises.


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Walk beside him both

literally and figuratively. Be an equalpartner in this relationship. Getinvolved, take on responsibilities; knowwhats going on in your household.


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E

Xamine your behavior and

attitude regularly. Ask yourself, Am Itaking him for granted? Am I showinghim what he means to me? Am I beingthe best wife I can be? Answer yourselfhonestly and then react accordingly.


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Youve brought God into your

marriage, now keep Him there. ThankHim daily for your many blessings.


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Zip it, yes, zip it. Dont rant,

and rave incessantly. Not only will itannoy him, but it is very unproductive.The fact that he does not do exactly whatyou want is not because he cant hearyou, its because he doesnt always agreewith you. Yelling wont change that.

Tell him rationally whats bothering youand work together toward a compromiseand solution.


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About the Author

Tina Schoff Lincoln was born inMaine and raised on a small farm in thesouthern part of the state. Throughouther life, her love of children has been aconstant. She has raised two beautifuldaughters, Katie and Kelly, with herchildhood sweetheart, her husband,Steve. After the birth of their first childin 1982, Tina operated a home-baseddaycare aptly named Lotsa Love. Afterfifteen years, she retired from the

daycare business and opened a smallneighborhood ice cream shop. Eachyear Tina hires local teens, some ofwhom were once small children in hercare. In the fall and winter months,Tina fulfills her desire to be surroundedby children by substitute teaching in the

local school district.

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