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SUNDAY, APRIL 11, 2010

FESTIVAL AUTHORS EXPLORE WRITING AS ‘ACT OF FAITH,’ I8

ADVICE I3PUZZLES I4

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THE SUNDAY PROFILE: AUTHOR/WEIGHT LOSS ‘MIRACLE’ NANCY MAKIN

RUTHBUTLER

COLUMNIST

BY CAMI REISTER

THE GRAND RAPIDS PRESS

GRAND RAPIDS — Nancy Makin scanned the onion rings, Coney dogs and mushroom swiss burger

on the menu at the Grand Coney, searching for her lunch.

But it wasn’t one of her “crazy days,” when she indulges in whatever food she wants. She opted for the Western omelet and English muffi n toast, hold the potatoes.

Later, the server cleared the table, including her unfi nished meal.

“There was a day when I would have eaten that whole thing, plus the American fries I didn’t get,” she said. “I’d say, ‘I’m so full,’ but I’d want some more.

“Food held a different place for me.”

A much different place.

Food was her comfort, her cure-all, her nemesis. Now, she sees it as a gift.

“Food is not evil. Food doesn’t hurt you,” she said. “It’s your misuse of food that does. Food is a gift from God. It’s a beautiful gift.”

Makin, 53, lives on the Northwest Side and can be seen tooling around town in her 1995 silver Saab, which she fondly calls “Sven.” She watches her grandsons skateboard or heads to VIP Pets to get something for her three large aquariums, which hold more than 180 tropical fi sh. The clerks know her by name.

She’ll soak in the atmosphere at Kingma’s Market as she shops for red peppers, spicy mustard, yogurt and other staples.

“I probably love going to the grocery store more than most people love going to Cancun,” she said.

She’ll walk to the BP gas station for a Diet Coke. Employees there know her by name, too.

Years at home Years ago, all of that would have been

unthinkable.For more than a dozen years of her life, Makin

barely could get off her couch. She couldn’t stand for more than a few minutes at a time, and she used a wheelchair wherever she went. For three years, she did not leave her home .

She wasn’t sick or injured. She was obese — morbidly obese. She was living in her apartment, “waiting for the end.”

“I was the 700-pound elephant in the room that no one wanted to talk about, until I turned my back,” Makin said.

She isn’t exaggerating.That was more than 500 pounds and 20 years

ago. On one of her rare outings, in April 2000, a friend

convinced her on a bet to step on a scale at Mary Free Bed Rehabilitation Hospital. The total pounds will forever stick in her mind: 703.

Makin clawed her way back and tells how she did it in a book released this week titled, “703: How I Lost More Than a Quarter Ton and Gained a Life.” (Dutton $25.95).

The book is not a diet plan, exercise routine or a to-do list for losing weight. It is the story of a

woman who was desperately searching. For what? She didn’t know until she found it: The uncondi-tional acceptance and nurturing of new friends. The self-esteem and self-worth that came with it melted away the pounds.

It happened without using fad diets, the USDA food pyramid handed to her by so many doctors or

prepackaged meals. Makin ate sensibly. As she became more mobile, she was able to start

working again. She cleaned houses, getting exercise scrubbing fl oors and washing windows.

But most importantly, she said, she started to love and care for herself.

SEE MAKIN, I2

Miles to go before I eat, sleep, pray, love.

Mind set on “roam” — drive, she said.

Expressway reverie. Hours in the car, tooling along concrete, wondering if that numbskull up ahead has seen the signs: Keep Right Except to Pass. Wake up, Lulu! This means you.

A daily routine that at least had a nodding acquaintance with outdoor activity has been sidetracked by treks back and forth to the east side of the state.

Say what you will about Detroit and its fl ock of suburbs, one thing’s for sure: Getting there (and back) is the dryer lint of travel.

That’s mostly due to familiarity. Even folks driving along in the South of France probably get bored at the tedium of the landscape after

a while. Maybe not.Nothing against Eagle-Westphalia

or the quaint diner/restroom/gas station at Fowlerville. Or the glorious site of Cedar Street — halfway there! — near Holt.

But after so many trips over the years, whatever thrill there was is gone. No offense, I-96, but I’m in a rut. And my neck hurts.

I once adored road trips. They were the best way to afford some of the glorious sites on travels past. Camping gear and a full gas tank, and we could head anywhere, though best enjoyed in manageable

chunks. Six hours or less per day turned out to be ideal. Days of 12-hour drives? Not so good, though sometimes it meant we would end up in Denver.

Driving beats flyingBut even with a vanload of our

sticky-fi ngered, gotta-go-potty beloved next generation, driving beat fl ying every time. We planned, you see. Various diversions and activities — and snacks — to keep body and soul amused. And that was before in-car DVDs.

My bag of resources falls fl at, however, when it’s a party of one. Commuters do it all the time, of course, making the best of their long hours behind the wheel.

Several recent trips have been last-minute, no pre-vacation plan time. No perusing the library for

audio books. No “travel mix” for my iPod. Grab and go and come back again; then repeat two days later. Or maybe tomorrow.

I’ve memorized the billboards. What’s with all the college ads? So many shouting out why they are yours for the taking. And I chuckle at the “Buy local, (insert city name here)” ads by a nationwide insurance company in whatever city I’m in. Must depend on your defi nition of local.

Anyway, concrete and speed limits, construction zones and rest areas, and searching for the cheapest gas no longer offer much zing. My habit of cruising local radio instead of listening to a podcast of “This American Life” also has grown stale.

Is it time to create an in-car environment? How do drivers

do this? Long-haul truckers have TVs and other accommodations but mostly for off-hours. Lots of business people use their cars as mobile offi ces, fax and all.

Sometimes, I wish I could stand and drive, or walk and drive. Or cross my legs or write a quick note (I know — texting is wrong!). This general antsiness is natural, grown from repetitive motion, but what’s the cure? Side roads?

With folks back from spring break, the long-trip vacation season is under way.

But for those whose lives are full of must-do, surprise-free hours between exits, what’s the secret of staying sane? Not to mention awake.

Suggestions are most welcome.

E-mail: butlerview@gmail.com

Five things to know about Nancy Makin:

She keeps “squirrel �gloves” in the trunk of her car, in case she sees one in the road. “I’ll pick it up and go put it under a tree so it doesn’t get run over anymore,” she said. And it’s not limited to squirrels, her son Christopher said. “She almost died trying to save a turtle,” he said.

She rolls her own �cigarettes. A heavy smoker for years — through thick and thin — she is disgusted with the new smoking laws and the rising cost of cigarettes. She carries them in a Marlboro Red hard pack “because I’m so vain,” she said, holding up the empty box. “I buy one of these about every six weeks.”

Makin is a political �junkie. She was glued to C-SPAN during the health care debates — and countless other debates — and has Clinton’s grand jury testimony on tape. “I watch both sides to see what the good guys and the morons are saying.” Which is which? She keeps that to herself unless in close company.

She can recite the �entire 18 stanzas of Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Raven.” She does it annually at family functions, “which is why they are becoming less populated as the years go by. I love Poe. I look a little like him from the side.”

Makin has excess skin � she may have surgically removed someday. But she already had surgery on her abdomen: “She’s got the stomach of a 25-year-old,” said her friend, Mary.

HER OWN WEIGH

PRESS PHOTO/OCTAVIAN CANTILLI

Caring for herself: Nancy Makin, 53, has lost more than 500 pounds in three years after rediscovering her self-worth online, chatting with people who couldn’t judge her by her appearance. Makin, whose highest known weight was 703 pounds, has written a book about her experience: “703: How I Lost More Than a Quarter Ton and Gained a Life.”

Nancy: Age 5.

Any ideas for staying sane on long drives?

I2 SUNDAY, APRIL 11, 2010 THE GRAND RAPIDS PRESS

CONTINUED FROM I1

“It’s within yourself,” Makin said. “It seems harder to do, but you know what? It’s really easier to do, and it’s a whole lot more satisfying in the long term.

“You can put a Band-Aid on a gaping wound with any kind of program, but you’ll gain the weight back again,” she con-tinued. “It won’t stay gone be-cause you haven’t fi xed the part inside.”

Finding support onlineMakin received plenty of

support and love from her family during her “imprison-ment,” but much of the rest of the world could not get past her appearance, she said.

“Fat people wear their symp-toms on the outside for instant judgment to be made; an in-stant bias to be created,” she said.

She recalled the countless times she was wheeled into a doctor’s offi ce in her special doublewide wheelchair.

“People, when you talk to them, would talk to you out of the side of their face because it was so uncomfortable for them to acknowledge you as a per-son,” she said.

Then, the birthday gift of a computer from a sister in May 2000 led to the acknowledg-ment, acceptance and nurtur-ing she needed. It happened when she met people who judged her not by her appear-ance, but by her wit and her way with words.

Makin ignored the computer for weeks, but eventually began exploring, visiting online chat rooms.

A lifelong political junkie, she had a lot to say.

She made friends, commu-nicating with them daily, and her outlook started to change. As she began to value her-self more, the pounds started

coming off. She had something to look forward to. There were people who looked forward to hearing from her. She wasn’t fi lling a void with food; she was fi lling it with relationships.

“The enemy is isolation, and the opposite of that would be nurturing,” Makin said. “I was like a starving baby; it was that nurturing to me.”

Hiding under humorMakin did not spend her

days of isolation feeling sorry for herself.

Humor was and is her main coping mechanism. She cracked jokes through it all — even when she was desperately ill and 10 rescue workers were strategizing the best method for getting her out of her apart-ment, into an ambulance and to the hospital.

“I remember begging their forgiveness,” Makin wrote in her book. “I said if only I’d had more time to prepare for their arrival, I would have had cof-fee brewing alongside freshly baked croissants and jam.

“A couple of them grinned.”But as she spent the past two

years writing the book, detail-ing her childhood in Seattle, “doing time” in her apartment, dropping the weight, shouting it out to the world on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” in 2007 and fi nally typing the last chap-ter, she realized how much was hidden under her humor.

While she was a shut-in, she was unable to attend her son’s wedding or her father’s funeral. And she could not help her ag-ing mother during her end-of-

life struggles, even though they lived in the same apartment building.

“As she got more ill, I couldn’t come down to help her,” Makin said. “It was awful.”

Young lifeShe also revealed many parts

of her life that could have been the root to her problems, but she’s not pointing fi ngers.

Those include being told by her parents in 1964 that they were taking a train across Canada to the World’s Fair in New York City. They never saw the fair, though. Instead, they were met at the train station by monks from a monastery outside of St. Jovite in rural Quebec.

It was a turbulent time in the Catholic church, and the monastery was speaking to disaffected Catholics, such as Makin’s mother.

They moved in to the mon-estary, the children were sepa-rated from their parents, and their time was spent working and praying and being warned of the mortal peril of the out-side world.

Makin was 9 years old.Yes, her parents lied to her,

she said. But it wasn’t a “total Charles Dickens affair.”

“Children adapt really well,” she said. “No one was beating me. I was eating and living.”

But, as she wrote, she al-lowed herself to really explore that experience instead of stuff-ing it away.

“That little kid didn’t de-serve it and that little kid was me,” she said. “Until you give voice to that child, you are de-nying yourself the priviledge of saying, ‘That shouldn’t have happened to me.’”

Makin recounted the six months she spent at the mon-astery and the four months she spent there later, at age 14, when she returned for what she thought was a two-week visit with her sister, who had be-come a nun. Her mother made her stay longer.

She recalled how her strug-gle with weight started young. In 1972, at age 16, she was four months pregnant and married. By 1978, she carried more than 300 pounds on her 5-foot-4 3/4

frame.“I gained 60 pounds with

(my son), and that just didn’t come off.”

She lost some of that weight in her early 20s while attending

Grand Rapids Community Col-lege’s culinary arts program — dropping to 150 pounds — but it didn’t stay off.

She gained and gained and kept gaining.

A son’s perspective“My mom was always real in-

secure about the weight,” said her son, Chris Makin, 37, who lives a few blocks from her on the Northwest Side.

He recalls becoming her “protector” at a young age, especially after his parents di-vorced in 1983.

“It really started way before she was a complete shut-in,” he said. “There was always this panic. ... I was always the one positioning to keep people from looking at her.”

Chris, who at the height of his mother’s heaviness was pre-pared to fi nd the worst when-ever he visited her, called her recovery miraculous.

“It was like watching some-one learn how to walk again,” he said. “The fi rst time she pulled up in front of my house in her car, I cried. It was amazing.”

But, he said, every once in a while, he sees “the scars” from her old life.

“She’s changed enormously, but there’s still some of that insecurity there,” he said. “That will be something she prob-ably struggles with for a long time.”

Reliving every memoryMakin felt some of that inse-

curity while writing the book. She still lives in the seventh-fl oor apartment where she was imprisoned by her weight.

While it is different now, adorned with plants, baubles and aquariums — things she could not take care of when she was heavy — it still is the “scene of the crime.”

She relived every memory, good and bad.

“It was a very diffi cult time for me emotionally,” she said. “I also did do some isolating again, which scared the living hell out of me.

“I thought, ‘Are you going to do this to yourself again, you blockhead?’”

She uncovered all the feel-ings and experiences she had shoved under the rug for so many years because “they didn’t seem relevant.”

“In some ways, it isn’t rel-evant,” she said. “But maybe there is some stuff you’ve got to bring out into the light.”

Not necessarily on a psy-chiatrist’s couch, however.

While she has had her share of counseling, she said prolonged therapy is not for her .

“In fact, I think it’s detrimen-tal, in my case anyway, to try to spend months and years trying to fi nd the genesis,” she said. “Woody Allen, by his own ac-count, has spent 40 or 50 years on a psychiatrist’s couch trying to fi gure out his diffi culties.

“Do you think that guy’s a wholesome creature? Is that what you want to be when you grow up?”

Trapped in the towerMakin’s friend, Mary, has

known her since she was in her early 20s. The two like to trade verbal barbs, and it was Mary who coaxed her out of her apartment for the infamous trip to the scale.

Mary knew Makin’s spirit, her intelligence and her humor were trapped in that apartment. She used to call her Rapunzel.

“Because her hair was so long, and she was up in that tower waiting to come out,” said Mary, who did not want to give her last name. “Her humor never, ever left her.”

She is happy Makin fi nally is down from the tower and able to spread her message.

“God, or whatever supreme being you believe in, has a way of redirecting your life,” Mary said. “Maybe this is what had to happen so she could have a

message for people.“I think she has more than

one book in her.”Makin would not argue with

that.She gave up her house-clean-

ing clients when she signed the book deal.

As her publicist gets to work, her book-signings and media appearances are piling up. Af-ter Oprah made her famous in 2007, Makin has done some public speaking and would like to do more.

She said she would like to collaborate with “innovative,caring physicians” who are in-terested in treating the whole person instead of handing them a food chart and sending them on their way.

“And I would love someday to go into radio,” she said.

Considering her family tells her she easily could have a talk show without any guests, she may have a future on the air.

Some people may be sur-prised at how far Makin has come since she moved into her apartment 20 years ago. But those who know her well are not.

Pam Smyth was one of the mental health nurses at Saint Mary’s Health Care in 1994, when Makin stayed there for a month . She is one of several hospital employees who kept in touch with Makin after she was discharged.

“She’s an amazing person,” said Smyth, now an instructor at Ferris State University. “She’sbeen an emotional support for me, I’m sure, at least as much as I have been for her.”

And to see her embark on a book tour seems a natural fi t, Smyth said.

“There’s just this specialspark in her that I knew she was going to do something big,” she said. “Once you get to know her, you realize she just has this huge life force.”

E-mail: creister@grpress.com

PRESS PHOTOS/KATY BATDORFF

A day in the park: “He saved my life,” Nancy Makin says of her son, Chris, 37. Ten years ago, meeting at John Ball Park for an outing would have been impossible because Nancy Makin, who weighed more than 700 pounds, never left her apartment.

MAKIN‘THE ENEMY IS ISOLATION’

Reminder of the past: At John Ball Park, Makin fits herself and her son’s family in one of her old skirts, which she calls “The Holy Relic.” It has a 108-inch waist. For years, all she wore were home-sewn, ankle-length skirts.

In 1972: Makin, 16, and her husband at their wedding. She was four months pregnant. They honeymooned at The Red Carpet Inn.

In 1993: Makin holds her

grandson, Ian, in her apartment .

Her hand is out in the

signature pose of deflecting a

photo.

COURTESY PHOTOS

With Daddy: Makin, age 2, on her dad’s lap as they sit on her grandfather’s boat, “The Beachcomber,” in Seattle in 1958. Makin missed her father’s funeral in 1997 because she was too heavy to leave her apartment.

She stayed home: Makin’s son, Chris, and his wife, Leane, were married in a private civil ceremony, but in 1996 they sanctified their vows in the church. Makin could not go. With the help of her sister, who did all the shopping, Makin prepared the meal for the reception in her apartment. “I knew how to make beautiful garnishes and dressed all the platters and dishes nicely; at least I could do this,” Makin wrote.

IF YOU GO

Meet the author

Nancy Makin will sign copies of her book, “703: How I Lost More Than a Quarter Ton and Gained a Life” (Dutton $25.95)

When: 4-8 p.m. Thursday Where: YT Galleria, 966 Cherry St. SE, Grand Rapids

When: 7 p.m. May 13Where: Schuler Books & Music, 2820 Towne Center Blvd., Lansing (schulerbooks.com)

ON mlivehome: Mlive.com

PHOTOS:� View a gallery of Nancy Makin photos at mlive.com/grand-rapids.

CONNECTMore info: Go to NancyMakin.com �or see her “703” fan page on

Facebook.com

“I was the 700-pound

elephant in the room that no one

wanted to talk about, until I

turned my back.” — Nancy Makin

ADVICE ETC.THE GRAND RAPIDS PRESS I3SUNDAY, APRIL 11, 2010

JEANNEPHILLIPS

DEAR ABBY

HARRIETTECOLE

SENSE & SENSITIVITY

JAMESDOBSON

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

HELOISE

HINTS FROM HELOISE

DR. PAULDONOHUE

MEDICAL ADVICE

CAROLYNHAX

TELL ME ABOUT IT

Dear Abby: I bought a used car with a navigation

system last week and noticed that the previous owner’s information was still embedded in the system. Abby, I had that man’s home address, the addresses of his friends, his bank, his workplace — every place he had gone.

Please inform your readers that if they sell a car with a navigation system, they should fi rst delete all of their information. Car dealerships should also be aware of this and, perhaps, erase the information from the system as part of their vehicle inspection.

— Jennifer in Lee’s Summit,

Mo.

Dear Jennifer: Your letter raised some eyebrows among me and my staff, so we canvassed some of the used car dealerships in the Los Angeles area. They’re

already aware of it. Those we spoke to stated that they are not legally required to delete information from a navigation system, and all agreed that the seller is responsible for removing the information before selling the car. I am sure many readers will thank you for the warning.

Dear Abby: I’m 18 and a senior in high school. I do not drink and don’t plan on drinking when prom time comes around. My problem is, I’m not sure whether or not my date will want to. I don’t want to have a drunk date I have to sober up before I can take her home.

So how do I fi nd out if my potential prom date is a

drinker before I ask her to the prom?

— Doesn’t Drink in South Carolina

Dear Doesn’t Drink: I assume you won’t be inviting a total stranger. Start talking with some of the girls you’re considering inviting and ask them how they feel about drinking alcohol.

P.S. If you do fi nd yourself with a girl who gets drunk, you should have no hesitation about returning her to her parents in that condition. Then let them deal with her.

Dear Abby: I have been with my girlfriend for a couple of years. During this time I have become increasingly convinced that if I were ever to leave her, she would kill herself.

I love her, but the thought that I couldn’t ever leave her without her killing herself is not pleasant. She doesn’t

have many friends she can rely on.

What do I do when the girl I love makes serious threats of suicide if I were ever to break up with her?

— Hostage in Texas

Dear Hostage: Here’s what you do: Tell her that what she is saying is crazy thinking, and that if she’s being serious she needs to discuss her hyper-dependence with a mental health professional. You should also tell her that unless she does so immediately, your relationship with her is on borrowed time. Your signature speaks volumes, because as long as this woman can subject you to emotional blackmail — and that’s what she is doing — you are, indeed, her hostage.

Everything Michelle McKinney Hammond

knows about money she’s learned the hard way. And she’s telling all in her new book, “Divanomics: How To Still Be Fabulous When You’re Broke.”

It’s not as if Michelle was born impoverished. Quite the opposite, in fact. You might say she was born with a designer rattle in one hand and a shopping bag in the other.

Right out of college, Michelle landed in a fabulous advertising career. “I was art director, copywriter, producer extraordinaire — fl itting coast to coast producing television, radio, and print advertising for top-notch clients,” she writes. It didn’t take long for her to elevate herself to full-on “diva” status or to become quite accustomed to her high-fl ying lifestyle.

But even high-stylin’ divas cannot escape the ravages and reality of a recession. It hit Michelle hard. There she sat at the end of her fi nancial road, savings gone, individual retirement account bottomed out, creditors hounding and her life basically in tatters.

In her latest book Michelle shares what she learned about her own

spending, desires and needs and how she is adjusting to life during this unpredictable economy. “Divanomics” is fi lled with money-saving tips on fashion, beauty, home decor, entertaining, diet, housing and more.

If you’re worried that living below your income level is going to turn you into a frump, you need to spend a couple of hours with Michelle in this new book. She’ll give you practical tips and her favorite Web sites and resources for fi nding everything a girl would want.

But more than just tips and tricks for how to be fabulous even when you’re broke, Michelle, with warmth and humor, will tell you how to invest your life in things that matter and how to hold on to faith.

She’s going to tell you how you can get back to the top of your game no matter what’s going on in the economy!

Dear Doctor: I am giving my opinion on fetal

alcohol syndrome. Having adopted children with FAS, I know fi rsthand the struggles that they face for the rest of their lives. Any drink during pregnancy is too many. FAS is a totally preventable condition but a lifetime sentence.

— D.M.

The public needs constant reminding of fetal alcohol syndrome. It is a preventable tragedy, and the one who is the victim has no say in preventing it. It happens to far too many babies — one or two infants out of every 1,000 newborns.

Those who are leaders in this fi eld plead with women not to drink at all during pregnancy or when trying to become pregnant. The frequency and the amount of alcohol drunk infl uence the severity of the syndrome. No one knows what is a”dangerous” level of alcohol. Until that can be quantifi ed, pregnant women should regard any alcohol as a toxin to their infant and therefore abstain from all alcoholic drinks.

FAS stunts the growth of the fetus and of the child later in life. The baby’s head is smaller than it should be. Certain facial abnormalities occur: The corner of the eyes next to the nose can be covered with a fold of skin,

the upper and lower jaws are smaller than normal, the upper lip is unusually thin, and the indentation between the nose and upper lip isn’t present. Heart defects are possible. The child’s ability to learn is greatly reduced.

Thank you for reminding us of this avoidable misfortune.

Dear Doctor: My wife read some 25 or 30 years ago that the human digestive system cannot digest raw carrots. Therefore, raw carrots have no food value. We fed copious amounts of them our children. What do you say?

— P.T.

Humans digest raw carrots. I offer carotenemia as proof. It’s a yellowish to orange discoloration of the skin, most often the palms and soles, that happens to people who eat humongous amounts of carrots. It comes from the beta carotene in carrots. It’s harmless and leaves when consumption is reduced. It shows, however, that raw carrots are digested. My friend’s wife had it.

Dear Heloise: I mark the different birthdays and

anniversaries for my family with stars on a calendar.

On the birthdays for my family, I put a red star, and on the others I put a green star. For the anniversaries I put a silver star.

I can tell at a glance how many birthdays and anniversaries I have each month and can print the cards all at once.

In the corner where the stamp goes, I put the date of the event and can get it in the mail the week before.

— Betty, via e-mail

Wow, you must have a lot of family events to keep up with, and this is a very good visual way to do so. Sometimes a plain, old paper calendar is just right.

Q What causes a child to wet the bed? Our fi ve-year-old

soaks his sheets nearly every night, which drives me crazy.

A There are about fi ve to seven million kids in the

United States who wet the bed nightly.

They are a misunderstood lot. Many of their parents believe that their bed-wetting is deliberate and that it can be eliminated by punishment. Others think these kids are just too lazy to go to the bathroom.

These are wrong and unfortunate notions.

Bed-wetting is often caused by medical factors, such as a small bladder, physical immaturity or other physical conditions.

That’s why you should begin by consulting a pediatrician or a urologist when bed-wetting starts. Many of the kids can be helped or cured by medication.

For other boys and girls, the problem is emotional in origin. Any change in the psychological environment of the home may produce midnight moisture.

During summer camps conducted for young children, the directors routinely put plastic mattress covers on the beds of all the little visitors. The anxiety

associated with being away from home apparently creates a high probability of bed-wetting during the fi rst few nights, and it is particularly risky to be sleeping on the lower level of bunk beds!

There is a third factor that I feel is a frequent cause of enuresis.

During children’s toddler years, they wet the bed simply because they are too immature to maintain nighttime bladder control. Some parents, in an effort to head off another episode, begin getting these kids up at night to go to the potty. The youngster is still sound asleep, but he or she is told to “go tinkle,” or whatever. After this conditioning has been established, the child who needs to urinate at night dreams of being told to “go.” Particularly when jostled or disturbed at night, the child can believe he or she is being ushered to the bathroom. I would recommend that parents of older bed wetters stop getting them up at night, even if the behavior continues for a while.

Q I get so mad at my kid for wetting the bed. Every

morning I have to strip and wash his bedding and pajamas. I told him last week that I would spank him if it happened again. Do you think that will help?

A Most certainly not! Unless your child’s bed-wetting is

an act of defi ance occurring after he is awake, which I doubt, his enuresis is an involuntary act for which he is not responsible. Punishment under those circumstances is dangerous and unfair. Your son is humiliated by waking up wet anyway, and the older he gets, the more foolish he will feel about it.

The bed wetter needs reassurance and patience from parents, and they should be there for him or her. They would be wise to try to conceal the embarrassing problem from those who would laugh at him. Even good-natured humor within the family, associated with bed-wetting, is often very painful.

Dear Harriette: I have been various degrees

of overweight my entire life. I did suffer teasing and taunting as a child. Thankfully, as an adult now, most people are too polite to carry on the same way; however, I know that people are thinking the same thoughts. In this culture, everyone seems to struggle with weight gain. We are overloaded with images of food, and every event seems to center around calorie-laden refreshments.

I have used the sound advice of Weight Watchers, off and on during the years, to lose weight slowly and gain healthy habits. I am still not slim, but I know what to do to work toward a healthy life.

I think that Mabel in Chicago should concentrate on learning to be healthy, not slim. That’s my goal. I am trying to incorporate healthy skills in my life. I know I will not be a thin, trim person, but I can strive to the best of my ability. She should focus on habits that could help her to live longer and keep her blood pressure and cholesterol in check, and to

prevent diabetes. My guess is that her family members probably suffer from these same issues. Perhaps they could join forces in this.

Taking inventory of my strengths helped me not to be so depressed and to see that I have value. She should list her strengths on paper. Sometimes it’s a good, concrete way to see the positive points. She might say that she is a good listener, helpful to her mother, loves to dance, has a talent for organizing, works well with children, writes a journal, etc. She can take pride in her good points.

Having a friendly personality helps. Be kind, funny and offer help and friendship to others. I’ve joined some groups — working with children in church, singing in the choir, and helping out at funerals. These are ways of making friends, taking your mind off yourself, and serving the

community. If she doesn’t attend church, she could volunteer at a local food bank, a hospital, a pet-rescue center, etc.

As she keeps busy, she will mature, and so will her peers. My school years were the most miserable, but as I started to spend time with adults, I realized that it wouldn’t always be so bad. Today, I go out of my way to make friends with overweight people. We need to support one another on our journey. I am developing positive skills in my life. I have lots of friends now, and I volunteer to serve other people in my community. Eventually, some of the pain of those younger years will leave. She can use that experience to spur her on to be a better person.

— Linda, Seattle, Wash.

Dear Linda: Thank you for your heartfelt message. I trust it will inspire Mabel and others.

Dear Carolyn: My brother’s wife just gave birth to very

premature, very sick twins. They will probably spend months in the hospital and one is likely to have severe developmental issues.

My brother is panicking; he keeps saying he didn’t sign on for this, and he is worried he’s going to cut and run if he doesn’t fi nd relief from the stress. How best to support him? I kind of just want to tell him to snap out of it.

— Seattle

He does need to snap out of it, that’s true. But if you’re looking for a correlation between telling people to snap out of it, and their actually snapping out of it, then you’ll fi nd it in Yeahrightville.

Anything you say to your brother has to include elements of sympathy to leaven the suck-it-up part. For example, “You’re right, no one signs up to have — or be — sick children.” And then ask him what he thinks might help with the stress? If it’s just a chance to walk away, then take him out to eat, or pull hospital duty for him while he takes a day to himself. Put it on the weekly schedule, even, so he can count on relief.

If having someone to talk to would help him, then you can research his options for him; states offer different programs for special-needs children and their families, and while the gateway is usually the hospital staff, it’s possible your brother hasn’t received or processed the information.

Taking his distress seriously will make you a more tolerable source of any tough love you then choose to serve up. Still, give him room to wail his way through this; listen patiently, and also pat his back whenever you see him rising to the occasion. Remind him how lucky his family is to have him.

If you don’t see that — say, if his no-show talk turns to walk — then remind him that, even freaked out, he’s better equipped to handle what lies ahead than his babies are, and they’re going to need their daddy. Not to be perfect, mind you — just to be there, loving them, and teaching them how to try.

Delete info from navigation system

Thoughtful advice on living with weight gain

Bed-wetting is treatable

Help brother

find relief Fetal alcohol syndrome

Use stars to mark the date

Learn to be fabulous even if you’re broke

MARYHUNT

EVERYDAY CHEAPSKATE

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PUZZLERSTHE GRAND RAPIDS PRESS

PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PAGE I8

I4 SUNDAY, APRIL 11, 2010

SUDOKU by Michael Mepham

Difficulty level: 3

Answer: Elsewhere in this section

Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit, 1 to 9.

For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk

The solution to Saturday’s Sudoku puzzle appears Monday.

©2010 Michael Mepham. Distributed by Tribune Media Services. All rights reserved.

CRYPTOQUIP by King Features Syndicate

HOROSCOPE by Stella Wilder

PUZZLE ANSWERSELSEWHERE IN THIS SECTION

SUNDAY CROSSWORD by King Features Syndicate

Ellery Queen stood over the lifeless body of West. He’d been conked with a pair of fi re tongs.

“It was an expert game, El,” Inspector Richard Queen said. “We nabbed the other players, but they aren’t talking.”

“What about the last deal they played, Dad?” Ellery asked.

The cards were laid out on the table, as if the deal had been reconstructed for analysis.

“So North opened one diamond,” the Inspector mused, “East bid hearts and South showed his spades and got to game.

“Here’s what I think happened,” the old man said. “West led a heart, and East took the queen and shifted to a trump to stop declarer from ruffi ng hearts in dummy. When South played the queen, West should have ducked. Then when East won the next heart, he could lead his last trump, and West could clear dummy’s trumps.

“But West won the fi rst trump and returned a trump,” the Inspector went on. “Then South could ruff a heart in dummy for his 10th trick, and East was so irate at West’s misdefense that he killed him.”

“Even if the defenders lead three rounds of trumps,” Ellery said, “South still succeeds. He cashes all his trumps and then the A-K of diamonds. East is squeezed in hearts and clubs.”

“Then who killed West?”

“On the bidding,” Ellery sighed, “West placed East with side strength, and dummy with spade support and a little distribution. So West’s opening lead was a trump — an effective lead to beat the contract. And South reacted in a rage.”

“Go put the cuffs on him, Velie,” the Inspector growled.

Your birthday, April 11You are one of those individuals

who will endure great hardship simply to enjoy, at the end of the road, the simplest and most fl eeting of pleasures. You are not a proponent of immediate enjoyment; rather, you tend to prefer delayed gratifi cation in all things, and understand that you have to take your knocks before you can rise to the heights. You can be something of a rebel at times, but this takes the form of unconventional thought instead of action, which means that you can seem to be going along with the crowd when, in fact, quite the opposite may actually be true.

Tomorrow, APRIL 12ARIES (March 21-April 19)

— You’ll want to keep your eyes and ears open, absorbing as much information as possible, before the time comes to begin formulating opinions.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) — You may be unusually high-spirited and willing to try things that would normally not be in your repertoire. Don’t get careless, however.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) — You can afford to be a little more forthcoming with your thoughts and opinions at this time. CANCER (June 21-July 22) — A bit of bad news can actually serve to inspire you to new heights — when the time comes. First, however, keep reactions in line.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) — Someone else may be calling the shots, but you are the one making sure that everything happens the way it should. Quality is key.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — You’ll be able to put in a little extra work before the day is out, increasing your own rewards a measurable amount as a result.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) — Give others a little more free rein, and observe their actions closely. You’ll

learn a great deal about your leadership abilities.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) — A careful reconstruction of certain events will allow you to understand your behavior better and make a more informed life choice.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) — You’ll have trouble hearing what others have to say for the simple reason that you haven’t fi nished saying what’s on your mind.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — You’re eager to be on the move, but certain things — or certain people — may be holding you back.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) — You’re more than willing to volunteer your time and energy to a worthy cause, but scheduling your involvement may be rather tricky.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) — Make sure you’re keeping any and all promises you may have made recently. Now is not the time to let anyone down — for any reason.

LOCKHORNS by Bunny Hoest & John Reiner

BRIDGEby Frank Stewart

MASTER OF SUSPENSE by Frank A. Longo

THE GRAND RAPIDS PRESS WEDDINGS SUNDAY, APRIL 11, 2010 I5

Fase-SchanzleJennifer Lynn Fase and

Rick Andrew Schanzle, both of Deerfi eld Beach, Fla., will be pronounced husband and wife Nov. 5. The future bride is a graduate of Rockford High School and Grand Rapids Community College. Her parents are Diane Fase of Rockford and Miles Fase of Ada. The future groom is a graduate of West Genesee High School and Lynn University. His parents are Pat Schanzle of Syracuse, N.Y., and the late George Schanzle.

Feikema-Van HalsemaRita Lyn Feikema and

Gerard Lucas Sterk Van Halsema will be united in marriage May 29. The future bride is a graduate of Southwest Christian High School in Minneapolis, Minn., and attends Calvin College. She and her parents, Colin and Darla Feikema, are of Leota, Minn. The future groom, of Chicago, is a graduate of Grand Rapids Christian High School and Calvin College. His parents are Dr. Helen Sterk of Grand Rapids and the late Mark Van Halsema.

Franz-ThomasmaVows of marriage will be

spoken May 22 by Joy Ana Rose O’El Franz and Karl Thomasma, both of Grand Rapids. The future bride is a graduate of Fennville High School and the future groom is a graduate of Calvin Christian High School. Both are graduates of Grand Valley State University. Her parents are Gary and Sandi Franz of Franklin, Ky., and Gail Weatherwax of Kalamazoo. His parents are Ken and Sherry Thomasma of Grand Rapids.

Frisbie-AllenMelody Maxine

(Hoeksema) Frisbie and Eric Robert Allen will be pronounced husband and wife June 12. The bride-to-be is a graduate of Calvin Christian High School. She and her parents, Marian Hoeksema and the late Robert Hoeksema, are of Grandville. The future groom, of Rockford, is a graduate of Cedar Springs High School. His parents are Robert and Nancy Allen of Gowen.

Fyan-BurnsEmily Irene Fyan and

Mauricio Burns, both of Clarksville, are engaged and will marry May 22. Both the future bride and groom are graduates of Lakewood High School. She also is a graduate of Grand Valley State University. Her parents are Bruce and Janice Fyan of Lake Odessa. His parents are Joseph and Linda Burns, also of Clarksville.

Gillstedt-Poll Young Tara Gillstedt and Nicholas

Poll Young will be married Aug. 28. The bride-to-be is a graduate of West Catholic High School and Grand Valley State University. She and her parents, David and Janice Gillstedt, are of Grand Rapids. The future groom, also of Grand Rapids, is a graduate of Rockford High School and the University of Michigan. His parents are Greg Young and Susan Poll of Rockford.

Clore-JeltemaWedding vows will be

exchanged June 26 by Katherine Elizabeth Clore and Ryan Jay Jeltema. The future bride is a graduate of St. Joseph High School and Central Michigan University. She and her parents, Doug and Peggy Clore, are of St. Joseph. The future groom, of Greenville, is a graduate of Unity Christian High School and Cornerstone University. His parents are Robert and Sandra Jeltema of Hudsonville.

Courser-BledsoeJennifer Lynn Courser and

Matthew D. Bledsoe, both of Ionia, will marry July 31. The future bride is a graduate of East Grand Rapids High School, Cornerstone University and she attended Western Michigan University. Her parents are Paula K. Courser of Grand Rapids, and Robert and Nancy Courser of Grandville. The future groom is a graduate of Saranac High School. His parents are Debra Downs, also of Ionia, and Denny and Sharon Bledsoe of Stanton.

deBlieck-KleynWedding vows will be

exchanged June 4 by Sharon Rachel deBlieck and Brent Hendrik Kleyn. She and her parents, Art and Jane deBlieck, are of Burgessville, Ontario, Canada. He and his parents, Raymond and Valerie Kleyn, are of Jenison. The future bride is a graduate of Norwich District High School and Brock University. The future groom is a graduate of Plymouth Christian High School and Grand Rapids Community College.

Dixon-WilliamsVows of marriage will be

spoken May 15 by Mellissa Jean Marie Dixon and Matthew Charles Williams. The bride-to-be, of Wyoming, is a graduate of Reeths-Puffer High School and Grand Valley State University. Her parents are Pat and Faith Dixon of Muskegon. The future groom is a graduate of Grand Rapids Christian High School. He and his parents, Roy and Valerie Williams, are of Grand Rapids.

Dudley-CarrelLoralee Grace Dudley and

Philip James Carrel, both of Grand Rapids, are engaged and plan to marry July 17. The bride-to-be is the daughter of Drs. Kenneth and Janice Dudley of Grand Rapids. She is a graduate of Forest Hills Northern High School and Kendall College Art of Design. The future groom is the son of Dr. Daniel and Bonny Carrel of Grand Rapids. He is a graduate of Forest Hills Northern High School and Compass Film Academy.

Falen-JamesBill and Beth Falen

of Wyoming announce the engagement of their daughter, Amy Lynn Falen, to Christopher Michael James, son of Mike and Dee James of Huntsville, Ala. The future bride is a graduate of Wyoming Park High School and Western Michigan University. The future groom is a graduate of Grissom High School and Auburn University. A June 12 wedding is being planned by the Nashville, Tenn., couple.

Bazen-BlokVows of marriage will

be spoken July 16 by Katie Elizabeth Bazen and Joel Phillip Blok. She and her parents, John and Sue Bazen, are of Grand Rapids. He and his parents, Tom and Joan Blok, are of Schoolcraft. Both the future bride and groom are graduates of Plymouth Christian High School. She also will graduate in May from Kendall College Art and Design and he from Hope College.

Beverstein-HammMolly Moore Beverstein

and David D. Hamm, both of Madison Wis., will be joined in matrimony May 30. Parents of the couple are Rick and Susie Beverstein of Green Bay, Wis., and Dave and Beth Hamm of East Grand Rapids. The future bride is a graduate of Notre Dame Academy, Miami of Ohio and the University of Wisconsin. The future groom is a graduate of East Grand Rapids High School, the University of Michigan and attends the University of Wisconsin.

Buchholz-BehrensThe ceremony to unite

in marriage Jill Christine Buchholz and Joshua James Behrens will be performed Aug. 14. The bride-to-be is a graduate of Wheaton North High School. The future groom is a graduate of Grandville High School. Both are graduates of Western Michigan University. She and her parents, Kim and Barb Buchholz, are of Wheaton, Ill. He and his parents, Craig and Beth Behrens, are of Byron Center.

Bultema-RalstonKatie Anne Bultema

and James Ernest Ralston, both of Ann Arbor, will be pronounced husband and wife Oct. 16. Parents of the couple are Steve Bultema of Hudsonville, Marcia Evans of Jenison and Tom and Linda Ralston of Fenton. The future bride is a graduate of Jenison High School and the future groom is a graduate of Fenton High School. Both are graduates of Hope College.

Chin-RoskampMonica Meiling Chin and

Andrew Robert Roskamp announce their engagement and plans for a July 10 wedding. The future bride is a graduate of Forest Hills Northern High School and the future groom is a graduate of Grand Rapids Christian High School. Both are graduates of the University of Michigan. She and her parents, Kent and Mary Chin, are of Ada. He and his father, Ron Roskamp, also are of Ada, and his mother, Sharon Ostendolf, is of Albertville, Minn.

Chwalek-StarlinAnnouncement is made

of the engagement and upcoming wedding of Janell Melissa Chwalek and Mark David Starlin. The bride-elect is the daughter of Joyce Chwalek of Forty Fort, Pa., and the late Joseph Chwalek. She is a graduate of Abington Heights High School and Wilkes University. The future groom is the son of Daniel and Melinda Starlin of Hudsonville. He is a graduate of Hudsonville High School and Grand Valley State University. A June 26 wedding is being planned by the Swansboro, N.C., couple.

ENGAGEMENTS

Bouwkamp-ErnzerWedding vows were ex-

changed Oct. 24 at West Leonard Christian Reformed Church in Grand Rapids by Shawna Marie Ernzer and Da-vid Lee Bouwkamp. Parents of the bride are Pamela and Steve Andrakowicz of Hudsonville and Richard and Kimberly Ern-zer of Kentwood. Parents of the groom are David and Mary Bouwkamp of Grand Rapids.

Maid of honor was Pauline Hendrixson. Bridesmaids were Amy Batka, Suzanne Heffner and Joni Afton. Flower girls were Hannah Ernzer, Amelia Ernzer and Anna Bouwkamp.

Best man was Jeff Bouwkamp. Groomsmen were Troy Ernzer, Rob Orange and Rick Orange. Ringbearer was Austin Kole.

Veldkamp-DeJongPronounced husband and

wife Aug. 29 at Hudsonville Reformed Church were Allison Lynn DeJong and Brian Paul Veldkamp. Parents of the cou-ple are Nick and Cheryl DeJong and Jim and Barb Veldkamp, all of Jenison.

Maid of honor was Katelin DeJong. Bridesmaids were Jessica Veldkamp and Laurie Veldkamp. Flower girls were Corrine Fales, Annabelle Fales and Jessica Behrens.

Best man was Paul Gort. Groomsmen were Mike Veld-kamp and Dan Veldkamp. Ush-ers were Steve Veldkamp and Dave Veldkamp.

VanderEnde-LademanJoined in matrimony July 25

at St. Thomas Aquinas Church in East Lansing were Julie Ann Lademan and Scott Willem VanderEnde. Parents of the couple are Steven and Beverly Lademan of East Lansing and Will and Jeri VanderEnde of Grand Rapids.

Maid of honor was Jamie Lademan. Bridesmaids were Jodie Unkovich, Erin Brogan, Lauren Kushion, Jill Vander-Ende and Lisa Tuttle. Flower girl was Emma Tuttle.

Best man was Sean Newsom. Groomsmen were Joe Tuttle, Matt Lauria, Matt Shemenauer, Mike Ferguson and Nick Re-idenbach. Ringbearers were Josh and Caleb Tuttle.

I6 SUNDAY, APRIL 11, 2010 ENGAGEMENTS THE GRAND RAPIDS PRESS

Turmell-Webber Kelly Suzanne Turmell

and Ryan Adam Webber will be married May 15. The future bride is a graduate of Grandville High School, Grand Rapids Community College and attends Grand Valley State University. She and her parents, Kenneth and Kathleen Turmell, are of Walker. The future groom, of Grand Rapids, is a graduate of Sparta High School and Full Sail University in Winter Park, Fla. His parents are Ronald and Lori Webber of Sparta.

VanderHulst-BusscherThe ceremony to unite

in marriage Courtney Lynn VanderHulst and David Joseph Busscher will be performed May 21. Both the future bride and groom are graduates of Unity Christian High School and attend Calvin College. She and her parents, Thomas and Carrie VanderHulst, are of Hudsonville. He and his parents, the Rev. Jim and Brenda Busscher, are also of Hudsonville.

Van’t Hof-LaughterSarah Grace Van’t Hof

and David Britton Laughter, both of Grand Rapids, will be pronounced husband and wife June 26. Parents of the couple are Paul and Carole Vant’Hof and Don and Linda Laughter, all of Ada. The future bride is a graduate of Forest Hills Central High School, Michigan State University and Western Michigan University. The future groom is a graduate of East Grand Rapids High School and Colorado State University.

VanderLaan-GreenAndrea L. VanderLaan and

Bobby Thomas Green, both of Fruitport, will exchange wedding vows April 23. Parents of the couple are Steve and Mary Cohle of Byron Center and Brian and Wendy Green of Spring Lake. The future bride is a graduate of Grand Rapids Christian High School and attended Grand Rapids Community College. The future groom is a graduate of Grand Haven High School.

Ruiter-VanTimmerenKendra Ruiter and

Benjamin VanTimmeren will be pronounced husband and wife July 17. The bride-to-be attends Grand Valley State University and the future groom attended Grand Rapids Community College. Both are graduates of Grand Rapids Christian High School. She and her parents, Betsy Ruiter and David Huyser, are of Grand Rapids. He and his parents, Douglas and Sandra VanTimmeren, also are of Grand Rapids.

Seaman-FouphtWedding vows will

be exchanged July 24 by Kimberly Rae Seaman and Christopher Lee Foupht. The future bride is a graduate of Lowell High School. The future groom, of Coopersville, is a graduate of Tri-County High School. Both are graduates of Ferris State University. She and her parents, Randy and Peggy Seaman, are of Lowell. His parents are Jim and Joni Maile of Newaygo and Rich and Rhonda Foupht of Elgin, S.C.

Shattuck-ReadLindsey Marie Shattuck

and Ryan Read, both of Naples, Fla., will be united in matrimony this spring. The future bride is a graduate of Rogers High School and the future groom is a graduate of Marshfi eld High School. Both are graduates of Western Michigan University. Her parents are Cynthia Corker of Wyoming and Joel and Connie Shattuck of Sparta. His parents are Cindy and Tim Hopkins of Detroit and Ron and Joan Read of Brant Rock, Mass.

Swinsick-KosterBrynn Noelle Swinsick

and Timothy John Koster announce their upcoming marriage on Aug. 14. The bride-to-be is a graduate of Gull Lake High School in Richland , and Western Michigan University. She and her parents, Cinda and Butch Swinsick are of Galesburg . The future groom is a graduate of Northview High School and Western Michigan University. He and his parents, Mike and Judy Koster, are of Belmont .

Kohler-SchuitmanKasie Lane Kohler and

Kevin Scott Schuitman, both of Trufant, will be joined in marriage May 15. The bride-to-be is a graduate of Lakeview High School and Kaplan University. Her parents are Debra and James Smith of Howard City, and Rex Kohler, also of Trufant. The future groom is a graduate of Cedar Springs High School. His parents are Scott and Dawn Schuitman of Rockford and Rhonda Eadie of Cedar Springs.

Mazour-StrabbingAudra Marie Mazour and

David Andrew Strabbing, both of Papillion, Neb., will be united in matrimony April 23. Parents of the couple are Dave and Corrine Mazour of Westminster, Colo., and Robert and Rosalie Strabbing of Hudsonville. The future bride is a graduate of St. Mary Academy, Colorado State University and Saint Cloud State University. The future groom is a graduate of Unity Christian High School, North Carolina State University and Capella University.

Molendyk-ErbesVows of marriage will be

spoken June 5 by Rhonda Molendyk and Brent Erbes. The future bride, of Wyoming, is a graduate of Unity Christian High School and Baker College. Her parents are Jerry and Barb Molendyk of Coopersville. The future groom, of Sparta, is a graduate of Kent City High School. His parents are Ed and Sue Manasco of Kent City.

Nyboer-WeenerRandy and Sally Weener of

Grand Rapids announce the engagement of their son, Seth Weener, to Molly Nyboer, daughter of Dutch and Cyndy Nyboer of Nunica. The future bride is a graduate of Spring Lake High School and the future groom is a graduate of Grandville High School. Both are graduates of Hope College and she also attends McCormick Seminary in Chicago. A July 16 wedding is being planned by the Chicago couple.

Renner-LivingstonWedding vows will be

exchanged June 12 by Jessica Kathryn Renner and Jason Robert Livingston. She and her parents, Norman and Debra Renner, are of Romeo . He and his parents, Robert and Dorothy Livingston, are of Grand Rapids. The future bride is a graduate of Armada High School. The future groom is a graduate of Grandville High School. Both are graduates of Western Michigan University.

Helmus-MarshWedding vows will be

exchanged June 18 by Jennifer Katelyn Helmus and Daniel John Marsh II. The future bride will graduate this May from Calvin College and the groom from Grand Valley State University. Both are graduates of Grand Rapids Christian High School. She and her parents, Barb Helmus and the late Tim Helmus, are of Grand Rapids. He and his parents, Dan and Amy Marsh, also are of Grand Rapids.

Hotchkiss-VanKoeveringMeredith Hotchkiss and

Kyle VanKoevering, both of Charlottesville, Va., will be wed April 17. The future bride is a graduate of Lapeer High School and the University of Michigan. Her parents are Julie Mosher of Davison and Mike Hotchkiss of Traverse City. The future groom is a graduate of Rockford High School, the University of Michigan and attends medical school at the University of Virginia. His parents are Kevin and Linda VanKoevering of Rockford.

Hoekzema-MulderThe ceremony to unite in

marriage Amalia Hoekzema and William Joshua Mulder will be performed June 4. The future bride is a homeschooled graduate and attends Cornerstone University. The future groom is a graduate of Calvin Christian High School. Both attended Kuyper College. They and their parents, John and Luanne Hoekzema and Bill and Kristy Mulder, are of Grand Rapids.

Roodvoets-BoverhofJoel and Ellen Roodvoets

of Caledonia announce the engagement of their daughter, Brittany Roodvoets, to Brent Boverhof, son of James and Carol Boverhof of Kentwood. The future bride, also of Caledonia, attends Kendall College Art of Design. The future groom, also of Kentwood, is a graduate of Davenport University. Both are graduates of South Christian High School. A June 12 wedding is being planned .

Harris-KlooteRebecca Rae Harris

and Scott Thomas Kloote announce their engagement and plans for an Oct. 9 wedding. Parents of the couple are Steven and Annette Harris of Brethren and Thomas and Gloria Kloote of Grand Rapids. The future bride is a graduate of Brethren High School and Grand Valley State University. The future groom is a graduate of Coopersville High School and Ferris State University.

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THE GRAND RAPIDS PRESS ENGAGEMENTS SUNDAY, APRIL 11, 2010 I7

Daniel and Mary PostellonDaniel and Mary

(Chamberlain) Postellon of Grand Rapids will celebrate 40 years of marriage today, April 11. A blessing at church and family luncheon will be held at 9 a.m. today at The Spinnaker in Kentwood. Children of the couple are Stephen and Teresa Kasperick-Postellon and Sarah Postellon. They have one grandchild.

Larry and Debbie QuakkelaarThirty years as husband

and wife will be observed April 12 by Larry and Debbie (Haskill) Quakkelaar of Byron Center. A large family dinner will be held in honor of the occasion. Children of the couple are Kristin and Charlie Balfoort and Justin Quakkelaar. They have two grandchildren.

Jack and Jan WybengaForty-fi ve years of marriage

were observed April 9 by Jack and Jan (De Young) Wybenga of Baldwin. A family gathering will be held in honor of the occasion. Children of the couple are Doug and Shari Wybenga, Mark and Keri Wybenga and Matt and Michele Boverhof. They have eight grandchildren.

David and Penny MaleportThirty years of wedded life

will be observed today, April 11, by David and Penny (Reed) Maleport of Byron Center. Children of the couple are Nate and Jill Meyer, Nick and Joy Lenger, Jeff and Christine Maleport and Jenna Maleport. They have four grandchildren.

Gerald and Jeanne AlberdaFifty years as husband

and wife will be observed

April 16 by Gerald and Jeanne (Kridler) Alberda of Hudsonville. A family dinner will be held in honor of the occasion. Children of the couple are Paul and Jennifer Alberda and Laura and Eric Crawford. They have fi ve grandchildren.

Richard and Marjorie BaukemaRichard Sr. and Marjorie

(Betten) Baukema of Grand Rapids celebrated 50 years of marriage March 25. The occasion was highlighted with a family dinner at Mangiamo’s. Children of the couple are Sandy Baukema, Jon and Pat Burgess, Julie Landacre, Jeff and Tena Baukema and the late Richard Baukema Jr. They have six grandchildren. Dick and Dolores Chapin

Sixty years of wedded life will be observed April 15 by Dick and Dolores (Briggs) Chapin of Grand Rapids. The occasion will be highlighted with a family dinner in May at their children’s home. Children of the couple are Mike and Debra Przybylo, Terry and Shawn Chapin and Steve and Kerry Chapin. They

have 11 grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren.

Lambert and Barbara HolstegeA golden wedding

anniversary will be celebrated April 19 by Lam and Barb Holstege. An open house in honor of the occasion will be held April 17 from 2 to 4 p.m. at Patmos Library in Jamestown. No gifts please. Children of the couple are John and Cindy Keuning and Perry and Brenda Johnson. They have four grandchildren.

Bernie & Henrietta KammingaFifty years of marriage

were observed April 7 by Bernie and Henrietta (Den Besten) Kamminga of Kentwood. An open house in honor of the occasion will be held April 17. Children of the couple are Cheryl Kamminga, Beth and Jerry Kuiper, Bern Kammiga, Valerie and Dan Cleveland, Laura and Erik Lubbers and

Dave and Dawn Kamminga. They have 12 grandchildren and one great-grandchild.

Bob and Beverly La FaveBob and Beverly (Kipen)

La Fave of Hudsonville celebrated 50 years of marriage Feb. 6. The occasion was highlighted with a trip south this April, and an open house will be held this summer. Children of the couple are

Christopher and Deanna La Fave and Dr. Kevin and Dawn Van Allen. They have fi ve grandchildren.

Jerry and Kay MelpolderFifty years of wedded

life will be observed April 14 by Jerry and Kay (Hoeksema) Melpolder of Grand Rapids. The occasion will be highlighted with a family gathering in May. Children of the couple are Daryl Melpolder and

the late Doug Melpolder, Pam Dykehouse, Mary and Doug VanDeRiet, Patti Gutowski, Dan and Tami Melpolder and Nancy and Scot Cowell. They have 17 grandchildren and four great-grandchildren.

George and Ellen PeereboomA golden wedding

anniversary will be observed April 13 by George and Ellen (VandenAkker) Peereboom of Wayland. A family dinner will be held in honor of the occasion. Children of the couple are Case and Jan Peereboom, Andy Peereboom, Gerald and Melinda Peereboom

and Irene Peereboom. They have four grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.

Gil and Grace SchimmelSixty years of marriage

will be observed April 13 by Gil and Grace (Kamps) Schimmel of Grand Rapids. The occasion will be highlighted with a family dinner. Children of the couple are Jim and Carol Schimmel, Dan and Judy Schimmel, Hank and

Deb Vander Waal, Ruth Schimmel, Dave and Shelly Schimmel, Tim and Yvonne Schimmel and Tom and Beth Schimmel. They have 31 grandchildren and 35 great-grandchildren.

John and Barbara SterkFifty years of wedded

life will be observed April 16 by John and Barbara (Gabrielse) Sterk of Byron Center. A family dinner will be held in honor of the occasion. Children of the couple are Laurie and

Bob Brower, Mary and Jeff Applehof, the late Robert Sterk and Janet and Troy Bing. They have seven grandchildren.

Harry and Connie Van SingelSixty-fi ve years as husband

and wife were observed April 5 by Harry and Connie (Vander Werf) Van Singel of Dorr. A summer get-together will be held in honor of the occasion. Children of the couple are Larry and Nita Van Singel, Ron and Fayth Van Singel and Bruce and Sue Walcott. They have 14 grandchildren and 14 great-grandchildren.

Robert and Wilma VanOeverenRobert and Wilma

(Haveman) VanOeveren of Allendale will celebrate 55 years of marriage April 14. A family dinner will be held in honor of the occasion. Children of the couple are Mike and Helena VanOeveren, Sherry and Bob Bouwman, Nancy and Dan Driesenga, Cindy and Rich Wittengen and Terri and Larry Kooienga. They have 15 grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren.

ANNIVERSARIES

Zolvinski-Van HarenMartha Zolvinski and

Matthew Van Haren announce their engagement and plans for a July 17 wedding. She and her parents, Frank and Sue Zolvinski, are of LaPorte, Ind. He and his parents, Brian and LuAnn Van Haren, are of Grand Rapids. The future bride is a graduate of LaPorte High School. The future groom is a graduate of Forest Hills Central High School. Both are graduates of Aquinas College.

Wittingen-TracyDoug and Amy Wittingen

of Zeeland announce the engagement of their daughter, Jessica Rae Wittingen, to Matthew Roe Tracy, son of Kenneth and Maris Tracy of Hudsonville. The future bride, also of Zeeland, and the future groom, also of Hudsonville, are graduates of Hudsonville High School. She also attends Michigan State University and he Central Michigan University. A June 19 wedding is being planned by the couple.

Windemuller-HernandezWedding vows will be

exchanged May 22 by Lisa Lynn Windemuller and Derek Michael Hernandez. The future bride, of Grand Rapids, is a graduate of Baker College. The future groom attended Grand Rapids Community College and attends Cornerstone University. Both are graduates of South Christian High School. Her parents are Mark and Carol Windemuller of Byron Center. He and his parents, Agustin and Margarita Hernandez, are also of Byron Center.

3551095-01

Announce it in The Press

Sundays inYourLIFE

3662271-01

I8 SUNDAY, APRIL 11, 2010 BOOKS THE GRAND RAPIDS PRESS

Answersto puzzleson page I4

Answer to CryptoQuip for April 11: Every time actor Brad pulls over to fill his car’s fuel tank, somebody might say he’s making a Pitt stop.

BY ANN BYLE

THE GRAND RAPIDS PRESS

Novelist Wally Lamb thinks it’s his job as a writer to ask the important questions — but not necessarily answer them.

“You have to discover your own truth, then give your work to the world and let them fi nd their own truth in what you’ve written,” Lamb said. “One per-son’s experience is not going to be another’s.”

Lamb, author of bestsellers “She’s Come Undone,” “I Know This Much is True,” and “The Hour I First Believed: A Novel,” is the keynote speaker Thurs-day at Calvin College’s Festival of Faith & Writing.

Literary wealth will overfl ow at the festival’s 120 concurrent sessions, which include inter-views, workshops and lectures led by poets, playwrights, edi-tors, novelists, songwriters, nonfi ction writers and more. There are also lunch forums and Festival Circles on spe-cialized topics and a range of speakers whose talks and sign-ings are open to the public.

“We think of ourselves as a cross between a book festival and a writers conference,” said Shelly LeMahieu Dunn, direc-tor of the Festival of Faith & Writing.

“We try to provide opportu-nities to aspiring writers, but our focus is on the intersection of faith and writing. We are fo-cused on talking about some of the deeper questions, not to the exclusion of other things, but we’re interested in encourag-ing conversation.”

Another top name coming to the festival is memoirist and poet Mary Karr, author of “Lit: A Memoir” and “The Liar’s Club.”

“Karr’s appearance this year is particularly important because of her memoir, ‘Lit,’ which describes her dealing with alcoholism and conver-sion to Catholicism. We’re grateful that she’s willing to share her story with people at the Festival,” LeMahieu Dunn said.

Children, families and teach-ers will welcome “Because of Winn-Dixie” and “The Tale of Despereaux” author Kate Di-Camillo to her fi rst festival. She will read and sign books on Fri-day afternoon at the Van Noord Arena. The event is free.

“The act of writing takes so much faith. The story itself is not something I make up, but am permitted access to,” said DiCamillo “Writing is having a dialogue with someone greater than you. It’s an act of faith;

every day is like jumping into the abyss.”

Children’s literature, she says, carries so much power because we carry it with us for our whole lives. When she worked at a used book store, she saw adults come in look-ing for books they read as children.

“A story is a story is a sto-ry. Children’s books speak to adults just as much as chil-dren because it’s a story,” said DiCamillo.

Some of the other speakers include:

Holland memoirist Rhoda �Janzen, author of “Mennonite in a Little Black Dress.”Novelist Hugh Cook, author �of “Cracked Wheat and Other Stories,” “The Homecoming Man” and “Home in Alfalfa.”Rudy Wiebe, author of several �novels, including “A Discov-ery of Strangers,” “Peace Shall Destroy Many,” and “Of This

Earth: A Mennonite Boyhood in the Boreal Forest,” a mem-oir about his childhood.F i l m e x p e r t B a r b a ra �Nicolosi.Richard Rodriquez, who often �explores racial consciousness in his writings.Education, spirituality and �social change expert Parker Palmer.Poet and essayist Scott �Cairns.Eugene Peterson, creator of �The Message edition of the Bible.Luci Shaw, a poet who wrote �“The Crime of Living Cau-tiously: Hearing God’s Call to Adventure,” and her most recent book, “Breath for the Bones: Art, Imagination, and Spirit: A Refl ection on Cre-ativity and Faith.”Avi, writer of picture books, �mysteries, fantasies and historical novels who was awarded the 2003 Newbery Award for “Crispin: The Cross of Lead.”Thomas Lynch, a funeral di-�rector/author from Milford who has written three col-lections of poems and three books of essays. His most re-cent book is “Apparition and Late Fictions,” a collection of short fi ction that focuses on the subject of loss.

Ed Dobson. pastor emeritus �of Calvary Church and author of “The Year of Living Like Jesus: My Journey of Discov-ering What Jesus Would Re-ally Do.”This year’s Festival of Faith

& Writing provides attendees who are authors a chance to meet readers in the fi rst Book Bazaar. It also takes attendees off campus for a new series called Festival in the City at

the Calvin-owned Ladies Liter-ary Club in downtown Grand Rapids.

“The new venue offers us a chance to ... share a bit of the festival with those who may not be able to come,” said LeMahieu Dunn. “We arebringing the literary wealth of the festival to a broader range of people.”

E-mail: yourlife@grpress.com

Monday — George Saunders, Knickerbocker Theatre, 86 E. Eighth St., Holland, 7 p.m.Tuesday — Poets Patricia Clark, Linda Nemec Foster and Robert Vander Molen read and discuss their work at 7 p.m.at Ryerson Auditorium at the Grand Rapids Public Library, 111 Library St. NE. Free . For more information, call 988-5400, or go to grpl.org.Thursday — Nancy Makin, “703: How I Lost More Than a Quarter Ton and

Gained a Life” 4-8 p.m., YT Galleria, 966 Cherry St. SE, Grand Rapids. Friday — Eugene Peterson, 4-5:30 p.m., Eerdmans Bookstore, 2140 Oak Industrial Drive NE just north of Michigan, between Plymouth and Maryland. Peterson is the author of the conversations series, which includes “Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places,” “Eat This Book,” “The Jesus Way,” “Tell It Slant” and the newly released final book in the series, “Practice Resurrection.”

AUTHOR VISITS

The number after each listing indicates how many weeks the book has been on the bestseller list.

FICTION1. CAUGHT, by Harlan Coben. (Dutton, $27.95.) (1)2. THE HELP, by Kathryn Stockett. (Amy Einhorn/Putnam, $24.95.) (1)3. HOUSE RULES, by Jodi Picoult. (Atria, $28.) (4)4. THE SILENT SEA, by Clive Cussler and Jack Du Brul. (Putnam, $27.95.) (3)5. BITE ME, by Christopher Moore. (Morrow/HarperCollins, $23.99.) (1)6. ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER, by Seth Grahame-Smith. (Grand Central, $21.99.) (4)7. MATTERHORN, by Karl Marlantes. (El Leon Literary Arts/Atlantic Monthly, $24.95.) (1)8. THINK TWICE, by Lisa Scottoline. (St. Martin’s, $26.99.) (2)9. SHATTERED, by Karen Robards. (Putnam, $25.95.) (1)10. ANGELOLOGY, by Danielle Trussoni. (Viking, $27.95.) (3)

NONFICTION1. THE BIG SHORT, by Michael Lewis. (Norton, $27.95.) (2)2. CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG, by Chelsea Handler. (Grand Central, $25.99.) (3)3. THE PACIFIC, by Hugh Ambrose. (NAL Caliber, $26.95.) (4)4. CHANGE YOUR BRAIN, CHANGE YOUR BODY, by Daniel G. Amen. (Harmony, $25.99.) (3)5. COURAGE AND CONSEQUENCE, by Karl Rove. (Threshold Editions, $30.) (3)6. AMERICAN CONSPIRACIES, by Jesse Ventura with Dick Russell. (Skyhorse, $24.95.) (3)7. GAME CHANGE, by John Heilemann and Mark Halperin. (Harper/HarperCollins, $27.99.) (11)8. THE IMMORTAL LIFE OF HENRIETTA LACKS, by Rebecca Skloot. (Crown, $26.) (8)9. NO APOLOGY, by Mitt Romney. (St. Martin’s, $25.99.) (4)10. HAVE A LITTLE FAITH, by Mitch Albom. (Hyperion, $23.99.) (25)

NYTIMES BESTSELLERS

Kate DiCamillo

Wally Lamb

Festival authors explore writing as ‘an act of faith’Festival highlights

What: Calvin College Festival of Faith & WritingWhen: Thursday-SaturdayWhere: Calvin College, 3201 Burton St. SEDetails: Festival registration includes all events. The following events are open to the public. Tickets, where indicated, can be purchased at the event, through the Calvin College Box Office at 526-6282 for $10 each, $5 students,A full schedule: bit.ly/bnHsm2

THURSDAYNoon — Lecture by Scott Cairns, Van Noord Arena7 p.m. — Reading and book signing by Michael Perry, Ladies Literary Club, 61 Sheldon Blvd. SE7:30 p.m. — Lecture by Wally

Lamb, Van Noord Arena; tickets required

FRIDAY10 a.m. — Lecture by Eugene Peterson, Van Noord Arena; tickets required4:45-5:45 p.m. — Reading and signing by Kate DiCamillo, Van Noord Arena; open to school groups and families7:30 p.m. — Lecture by Richard Rodriguez, Van Noord Arena; tickets required7-8 p.m. — Reading and signing by Kevin Young, Ladies Literary Club

SATURDAY10 a.m. — Lecture by Parker Palmer, Van Noord Arena; tickets required7:30 p.m. — Lecture by Mary Karr, Van Noord Arena; tickets required

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