gustavo's musings (7 of 10) - "coming full circle..."

8/8/2019 Gustavo's Musings (7 of 10) - "Coming Full Circle..."

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Gustavos Musings (#7 of 10)

(Mar 2005)

Coming Full Circle

Have you ever had your lofty expectations trampled upon by your earthly reality? Thats sort ofthe way our missionary career began here in Paraguay. Reflecting back on our eight months on the

field, its easy to spot where we failed to adjust to the prevailing circumstances, and it cost us dearly. Atthe same time, however, hindsight allows us to see Gods hand in our lives, and the way in which he

works, despite our mistakes, to bring us to a place of peace and renewed purpose.Our initial vision for serving in Latin America was for me to teach theology within a mature,

non-denominational theological institution. A mature school would have already navigated through itsstressful growing pains; a non-denominational institution would provide a diverse faculty and student

body. I also aspired to teach at the undergraduate or graduate level. I wanted to be challenged in myresearch and in my interaction with a new generation of Christian thinkers and leaders within a

particular country. As we arrived to serve in Paraguay, we were unaware that it could in no way support

this type of ministry. (The trampling had essentially begun before we had ever set foot on foreign soil.)In the first place, while there were many mature theological institutes, Paraguay had only oneprogram at the undergraduate level and none at the graduate level. This was because the countrys

educational system was simply inadequate in producing high school graduates (only 31% of the 16-18year old population was enrolled in school in 2002). Thus, most theological institutes operated with an

average educational level of 10th grade, piercing a huge hole in our original expectations.Another factor in the Paraguayan context was that the churches were strongly denominational in

their orientation. At last count, there were 7 bible institutes operating within Asuncin, each gearedprimarily toward preparing church leaders for their own denominations. In Paraguay, there existed no

such thing as a non-sectarian, non-denominational theological institute. With few exceptions, allprofessors were pulled from within their own ranks to protect fixed theological positions. In short, there

was very little demand in Paraguay for a professor who did not consider denominational or theologicaldistinctions to be of great importance. In this country, being dogmatic was expected and preferred.

A second area of concern dealt with our ministry partner, the Evangelical Methodist Church ofParaguay. As a 17 year-old denomination, it was still considered to be in its infancy. The denomination

operated a fledgling bible institute, which was still in its start-up phase, constructing its small campus instages as the money flowed in. Growing pains was its middle name. In addition, it was a

denomination-run institute without much diversity (though to their credit, they did allow a Gordon-Conwell graduate from a Congregational church in Boston to teach there.) Classes convened only once

per month for 3 1/2 days. (How was I ever going to be a big shot professor with that kind of schedule?) When they told me that the educational level of the students barely topped 8

thgrade, I nearly went

into a depression. (Ask my wife. Shell confirm it!) Surely God had made a mistake. Our originalvision was crumbling before our eyes.

Still, we went full steam ahead with our placement, despite our internal struggles, because wefigured that once we were in the country, there would be additional teaching opportunities for me at

more established, mature, non-denominational theological institutions. NOT!! (See Paragraph 3 abovefor the folly in this kind of thinking)

Thus, from the outset, we really had a part-timers mentality toward the Evangelical MethodistChurch. We made it very clear that we could only commit to a one-year contract, at 25 hours per week

because it was our intention to seek out other teaching opportunities within the city. Certainly, wereiterated, we would give our best effort in whatever capacity within the Methodist denomination. But


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despite these assurances, our actions spoke loud and clear. Dont count on us for the long-haul, wereonly with you until our visas clear!

After discussing our contract and job responsibilities, our next set of experiences would havemade great footage for a cross-cultural crash and burn documentary. As part of our requirement for

serving at the Methodist Bible Institute, the president of the denomination, Pastor Pablo Mora, requested

that we attend one of the local Methodist churches. We were confused by this request because in ourminds, teaching at a bible institute and where we attended church as a family were not related.Besides, we had already picked out a wonderful, large, family-friendly church, with lots of

programs, in a diverse neighborhood. It was located a few blocks from our house, our kids wereenrolled in the nursery and elementary school there, and many of the folks we were meeting at church

and at school lived within our neighborhood. It was the perfect fit, providing that ever-elusive sense ofcommunity for which we had longed in the states. In addition, the church served as our spiritual recluse

amidst a torrent of instability and adjustments.When our ministry partner discovered what we had done, they threatened to revoke our visas,

stating that if we could not be a part of their community, then they could not take responsibility for oursponsorship. Wishing to be sensitive to our ministry context (and because missionaries should be able

to adapt to any situation, right?), we promptly switched our membership to the San Vicente MethodistChurch, a small and under-resourced church in an economically deprived neighborhood. (The trampling

had crossed over into our family life)We were so ill prepared for this change in expectations. We went from feast to famine in terms

of the quality of our church experience. Everything from the programs to the building to the schedulechanged dramatically, and it was tough to swallow. We were asked to take on entire ministries and to

build relationships with a group of people and a community that we could realistically see only once perweek. Week after week, we trudged ahead like good little soldiers, putting on our game face, but unable

to overcome one key debilitating aspect: our hearts just werent there. The entire family began to gointo a tailspin.

One evening, five months later, after a worship service, with our kids crying in the backseat fromfatigue, and a good amount of bad sentiments already accumulated, we decided it was too much to

handle. The change and the demands were too dramatic to overcome. I spoke with Pastor Pablo whoreluctantly released us from our requirement to attend the San Vicente church. As one weight lifted,

another emotional burden came down as we grappled with the costly impact of our decision.The congregation was stunned when we gave them the news. Many started to cry. Im sure

many of them had their image of servant missionaries shattered that evening. What could I say? Wehad hurt a small congregation and its pastor by our sudden departure, we had deeply disappointed our

ministry partner and leader Pastor Pablo and we had seriously underestimated what we werecommunicating by our unwillingness to do ministry the way Methodist Paraguayans had come to

expect. We had once again placed our commitment to the Methodist church in doubt and many peoplebegan to wonder exactly what kind of missionaries we were.

It was perhaps this last sentiment that really angered me. Some people began to question ourcommitment to missionary service. They wondered whether we really had a sacrificial attitude and

whether we were really willing to suffer for the cause of Christ. Excuse me? Shouldnt massivehemispherical displacement (and its attendant losses) give you a little protection from that type of

inquiry? Apparently not! At times I understood why many missionaries left the field after completingonly one term. It was way too hard to live up to everyones expectations of just how a missionary

should live and work.During this whole experience, I had been unsuccessful in securing other teaching positions. I

was an unknown commodity, and frankly, I was a little too vague in my theological convictions to illicitconfidence from any of the directors with whom I was meeting. One guy sat me right down and


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immediately asked me his make-or-break question, Are you a literal six-day creationist? by which hemeant,Do you take the bible seriously, or have you caved in to the liberal and postmodern

establishments?Well, I answered as best I could about literary constructions and the framework hypothesis and

the like (try arguing about those things in Spanish!) all the while feeling angry for having to perform

hermeneutical gymnastics just to teach a stinkin course. He looked at me like I had horns growing outof my head. But, I held back in my response, and I just didnt have it in me to tell this man that manygreat theologians (including St. Augustine!) agreed with my take on Genesis and nobody ever

questioned whetherthey had a high view of scripture. The interview was tense from that point forward,and it was a harbinger of the difficulties I would encounter in this restrictive theological environment. I

grabbed my pitchfork and left feeling dejected.At about the same time, however, something very strange was happening with my work at the

Methodist Bible Institute. I had been teaching for four months and was very much enjoying my classpreparation and time with the students. It wasnt graduate level theology, but it was still theology

nonetheless. The Methodist denomination, like many in Latin America, was in need of theologicallysound and trained leadership and my work here was helping to fill that void. Indeed, many Methodist

congregations still had Brazilian or American missionaries in the lead pastorate role. Somecongregations had no pastor at all. Despite a skeleton bible institute with a low educational level, and

despite so many earlier misgivings, I really began to sense that God wanted us to stay put within theMethodist church here in Paraguay. The thought was certainly cause for apprehension in other ways.

Both Rochelle and I had come from strong analytical and business backgrounds and it was fairlyeasy to see that the Evangelical Methodist Church here in Paraguay had some strategic and

organizational weaknesses. We never expected operational perfection in our ministry partner, but it wasstill hard to marry oneself to an organization whose business strategy you didnt trust and who often

made decisions that frustrated its missionaries. Here was yet another reason we always appeared to berunning away from this ministry. Yet, as all other avenues for employment began to close, and God

began to deal with Rochelle and I about our expectations and our attitudes, we began to ponder thepossibility of making a full-hearted commitment to the Evangelical Methodist Church of Paraguay.

During this same timeframe, Pastor Pablo had lost all faith in us, and our contract status was putin limbo. He rightly concluded that vascillators do not make good partners. He and his wife Claudette

Mora (the director of the Methodist Bible Institute) had scarcely met with me during the whole time Ihad been teaching. After all that had transpired, they knew we were not truly united with them in heart

and spirit. We were literally on the verge of a breakup.In February of 2005, one day after my 40

thbirthday to be exact, we met to discuss our continued

involvement with the Evangelical Methodist Church of Paraguay. In the room was Rochelle and I,Pastor Pablo and Claudette Mora, our ministry partners, and Miguel Angel de Marco, the director of

placement for the Latin America Mission (LAM), our U.S. boss. Miguel Angel had made a trip to SouthAmerica to visit the LAM missionaries, and in our case, to try to patch up a relationship that had become

badly strained.Before the meeting, Miguel Angel had made it clear to me that we could cut our losses now and

search for a new ministry partner. He was not, however, as concerned with the Methodist churchsinefficiencies. He reminded me that disorganization was never a barrier for God. The Christian church

had prospered for more than 2,000 years often with less than what was now in place in Paraguay. Thatreally sobered me up for it made me realize that God didnt really need me or my talents to

accomplish his will here. He was, however, offering me the privilege of working in an under-resourcedcountry, with a ministry partner that needed some organizational and strategic help.

We had been running away for so long that we never dared confront the one crucial question thatGod had been asking all along: Are you willing to let me use you in a wholly unexpected manner? Put


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another way,Are you willing to let me choose a ministry you did not expect, a ministry partner youwould not have selected, within a country that has failed to meet your initial expectations? The essence

of the question was expectationsand so far we had been unwilling to part with them.The meeting with Rochelle and I, Pastor Pablo & Claudette, and Miguel Angel was a virtual

cryfest. We poured our hearts out, asking for forgiveness for all of the misunderstandings, the

resentment, the disappointments, and the bad decisions we had made that had caused so much pain.Pastor Pablo and Claudette were equally vulnerable and penitent. God had wrought an amazingtransformation in our hearts, and during the meeting, I could see myself wanting to get closer and closer

in heart and in spirit with the work that this particular church, the Methodist Church, was doing inParaguay.

We also came to the realization that day that we had erred badly by leaving the San Vicentechurch (though in our defense, the familys health was also a factor in that decision). Even so, ministry

for the Methodist Paraguayans was integrally linked to the work of their local churches. All of theancillary ministries, like the Bible Institute, the Medical Clinic, even the Methodist elementary schools,

all flowed out of wanting to support the efforts of these local congregations. The Bible Institute, forexample, did not have a life of its own outside of meeting the leadership needs of the Methodist

churches within Paraguay. (This vital link has been all but lost in the American seminary system.) To bea missionary for the Methodist church in Paraguay was to have some vital connection with its local

congregations. It was thus uncanny for us not to be attending one of the Methodist churches. (To hiscredit, Pastor Pablo was willing to make an accommodation for us to keep us within the larger Methodist

fold.)We had come full circle, and as I filled out my service contract that evening for Pastor Pablo to

sign, I knew we had crossed over a threshold with our ministry partner. I knew we had overcome abarrier that had come between us as a result of our ambivalence. I had come to fully accept my work at

the Bible Institute, and I had embraced what God was doing in Paraguay through the Methodistdenomination, weaknesses and all.

Under the contract heading, Duration, I filled in January 1, 2005 to January 1, 2007, a two-yearcommitment at 100% of my weekly time. It was time to stop looking for other ministry opportunities

and to get busy with the tasks God had assigned us for the next few years. Though our expectations hadbeen completely trampled upon, we were never more at peace with the earthly reality we were now

living.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Gustavo Karakey was born in Durango, Mexico and grew up in Southern California. Currently,he lives in Boston with his wife and three children.

From 2004-2008, he served as a missionary to Paraguay, South America teaching at theMethodist Bible Institute just outside of Asuncin.

In 2011, Gustavo and his family will be moving to Medelln, Colombia, where Gustavo willserve as a professor of New Testament at the Biblical Seminary of Colombia (www.fusbc.edu.co).

Gustavos passion is to help develop pastors and leaders for the church in Colombia and LatinAmerica as well as to prepare missionaries from Colombia for the unfinished task of global missions.

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To learn more about this exciting ministry in Colombia visit: http://www.karakey.com

To sample or purchase a copy of Gustavos book Making Sense of the Bible which provides a step-by-step method to better understand the Scriptures visit:

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/22475

gustavo's musings (7 of 10) - "coming full circle..."

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