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Healthy Boundaries Equipping middle school students to make healthy decisions now and in the future!

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Goals for Today Teach you the definition of the word boundary. Show you the importance of self-esteem and how self-esteem influences your choices! Equip you and your friends with tools to set good personal boundaries!

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What are boundaries? Boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates for him or her self. http://www.uky.edu/hr/sites/www.uky.edu.hr/files/wellness/images/Conf14_Boundaries.pdf

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Personal Boundaries Your yard is your boundary.Your room is your boundary.Your personal space is your boundary.

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How can you set good boundaries? Verbal Actions Non-Verbal Actions

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Boundaries are the limits we set in relationships that allow us to protect ourselves. They let those around us know what is acceptable and Not acceptable to us. Boundaries are established from having a good sense of our own self-worth. Boundaries are the limits we set in relationships that allow us to protect ourselves. They let those around us know what is acceptable and Not acceptable to us. Boundaries are established from having a good sense of our own self-worth. Boundaries can also be Materials adapted and compiled from sources located within Counselling Services (Suzanne Welstead) at the University of Guelph, 2008.

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Now we know how to establish boundaries, how can we maintain good boundaries?

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Self-Esteem! Self-Esteem is the sense of personal worth and ability that is fundamental to an individual's identity.

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I worry about

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I worry/fear Girls Rejection How people perceive me How I look Being talked about behind my back Feeling left out Being invisible

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I worry/fear Guys Failure Feeling inadequate Feeling powerless Appearing weak Not being respected Not being the best at something

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How do you compare yourself to others? Physically Intellectually Socially

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How does social media affect your self-esteem? http://pewinternet.org/Reports/2012/Teens-and-smartphones/Summary-of-findings/Overview.aspx Todays teen spend more than 7 hours a day consuming media!

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The Impact of Cyber Bullying Some statistics indicate that as many as 160,000 students a year skip school just to avoid being harassed, and texting and social media is making it easier than ever to harass classmates. What is cyber bullying? Spreading rumors online or through texts Posting hurtful or threatening messages on social networking sites or web pages Sexting, or circulating sexually suggestive pictures or messages about a person It all begins with YOU . Cyberbullying Research Center, "Summary of our cyberbullying research from 2004- 2010" [online]

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The risks of low self-esteem: People with low-self- esteem are 80% more likely to criticize others or put them down in order to make themselves feel better, tougher, and smarter. http://www.self-esteem-nase.org/what.php Violent behavior School dropout rates Teenage pregnancy Suicide Low academic Achievement

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WHAT ARE SOME WAYS TO INCREASE YOUR SELF- ESTEEM?

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Here are some other great ways to increase your self-esteem: Volunteer! Helping others! Explore your passions! Practice self-affirmation! Focus on accomplishments, not failures! Eat healthy and exercise! Mentor someone!

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So now that we know what a boundary is Focus on continuing to maintain good boundaries! Talk about one boundary that is the most important in achieving your goals now and in the future!

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What is the most effective physical boundary you can put in place as you mature as an teenager?

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What is Abstinence? A conscious decision not to participate in sexual activity until marriage.

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Benefits of Abstinence W. Bradford Wilcox, Ph.D., A Scientific Review of Abstinence and Abstinence Programs, Technical Assistance Module for Abstinence Education Grantees. Arlington, VA. PalTech, Inc., February 2008. pp. 68. Notes embedded within the excerpt are available in the full report which is at www.ampartnership.org. available http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/couples-who-wait-report-better-sex- lives/article1847555/ Prevents pregnancy Prevents sexually transmitted diseases Healthy relationships Healthy, stable marriages Have fun with friends without physical or emotional involvement Focus on school, career, or extracurricular activities

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Why is this important? 1 in 4 sexually active teens are already infected with an STI/STD. 80% of students infected with STDs have no noticeable symptoms! Nearly 9.5 million new STDs are diagnosed among young people aged 15-24 each year. According to the CDC, long term health effects of STDs on your body if not untreated: infertility, cancer, organ damage and even death.

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Consequences of playing outside of the boundaries Unplanned Pregnancy Sexually Transmitted Diseases Emotional Pain

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How would YOUR life change ?

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Teen Parenting Statistics 4 out of 10 teen moms graduate from high school. Nearly 8 out of 10 teen moms go on welfare by the childs 5 th birthday. 25% of teen moms will have a second child by age 20. Less than 2% of teen moms finish college by age 30. Teen Dad Monthly Child Support is at least $600 per month for 18 years.

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Risks to children of teen moms Fatherlessness School failure-50% repeat a grade; Insufficient health care Low birth weight & prematurity Abuse and neglect-50% Poverty-64% Incarceration Boys: 3-13% more likely Teen motherhood Girls: 22% more likely

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Adoption Over 2,000,000 couples are waiting to adopt Yet, less than 1% of all unexpected pregnancies result in an adoption plan

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People dont know enough about it Peer pressure from friends and family Emotional attachment to the baby Media portrayal of adoption Negative language surrounding adoption

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Stats for children and adoption Children who were adopted score higher than children of single parent homes on self-esteem, confidence, self- directedness, positive view of others and feelings of security. Fewer than 7% of children adopted as infants repeated a grade in school, less than 2% of adopted children live in poverty, adoptive parents less likely to divorce. Adolescents who were adopted are generally less depressed than children of single parents and are less likely to be involved in alcohol abuse, vandalism, group fighting, police trouble, weapon use, and theft.

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Outcomes for Birthparents More likely to finish high school, less likely to live in poverty. More likely to be employed 12 months after the birth and less likely to repeat out-of-wedlock pregnancy. They are NO MORE likely to have greater psychological consequences, like depression, than mothers who choose to parent. marri.us/adoption Adoption Works Well: A Synthesis of the Literature Dr. Patrick F. Fagan November 29, 2010

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Celebrities and Adoption

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How can I help my friend? Here are available resources to help your friend if he or she has crossed boundaries. You can help her by talking with any of the following: Trusted adult Teachers School counselor Mentor

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Healthy boundaries will give you the ability to achieve your goals!

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In conclusion http://abstinenceresourcecenter.org/inde x.php/students/i_m_choosing_abstinence 1.Have a plan! 2.Set your physical and emotional boundaries. 3.Verbally communicate your boundaries to your friends and family to keep you accountable.

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Works Citied http://abstinenceresourcecenter.org/index.php/students/i_m_choosing_abstine nce http://abstinenceresourcecenter.org/index.php/students/i_m_choosing_abstine nce http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Child_Center_Twelve/ http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Early_Adolescence_12/ Cyberbullying Research Center, "Summary of our cyberbullying research from 2004-2010" [online] http://www.universitybusiness.com/article/psychological-impact-cyber-bullying http://www.self-esteem-health.com/child-self-esteem.html Taylor J, Lloyd DA, and Warheit GJ. Self-Derogation, Peer Factors, and Drug Dependence Among a Multiethnic Sample of Young Adults. Journal of Child and Adolescent Substance Abuse 2006: 15 (2) 39-51. http://pewinternet.org/Reports/2012/Teens-and-smartphones/Summary-of- findings/Overview.aspx