SUDHAMURTY

Here,ThereandEverywhere

Best-LovedStoriesofSudhaMurty

PENGUINBOOKS

Contents

Introduction

1.ATaleofManyTales2.‘Amma,WhatIsYourDuty?’3.HonestyComesfromtheHeart4.TheRedRiceGranary5.LazyPortado6.ALifeUnwritten7.TheLineofSeparation8.India,theHolyLand9.BondedbyBisleri10.InIndia,theWorstofBothWorlds11.HowITaughtMyGrandmothertoRead12.Rahman’sAvva13.CattleClass14.TheOldManandHisGod15.ALessoninLifefromaBeggar16.MayYouBetheMotherofaHundredChildren17.FoodforThought18.BombaytoBangalore19.MiserableSuccess20.HowtoBeattheBoys21.ThreeThousandStitches22.TheMeaningofPhilanthropy

FollowPenguinCopyright

PENGUINBOOKS

HERE,THEREANDEVERYWHERE

SudhaMurtyisthechairpersonoftheInfosysFoundationandabestsellingauthor.Shehasamaster’sdegreeinelectricalengineeringfromtheIndianInstituteofScience,Bengaluru.ShestartedhercareerasadevelopmentengineerandhasalsotaughtcomputerscienceatBangaloreUniversitycolleges.SheisacolumnistforEnglishandKannadadailies,withtwenty-ninebooksand200titlestohercredit.Herbookshavebeentranslatedintotwentylanguages.AmongtheawardsshehasreceivedaretheR.K.NarayanAwardforLiterature,thePadmaShriin2006,theAttimabbeAwardfromtheGovernmentofKarnatakaforexcellenceinKannadaliteraturein2011and,mostrecently,theLifetimeAchievementAwardattheCrosswordBookAwardsin2018.ShehasreceivedsevenhonorarydoctoratesfromuniversitiesinIndia.

ToShini.Youaremyreflectioninthoughts,indeedsandinappearance.

Introduction

Often,Isensethatthereisalotofmyselfinmystories,whetheritismyfriendsorfamilyorthepeopleImeet.However,theexperiencesthatIwriteaboutaremine.Icannotdisassociatefrommyselfwhilewritingaboutthem.Thisbookcontainssomeofmymostcherishedexperiencesthatarelikebeautifulflowerstomeandhavebeenputtogetherhereasiftocompleteagarland.Whilemostoftheexperiencesarefrompreviouslypublishedbooks,therearetwonewflowers:onethathighlightsmyliteraryjourneyandtheotherthatelaboratesonthetruemeaningofphilanthropy.ThisbookisdedicatedtomybrotherShrinivas.Writingabouthimiseasy

enoughandyetsodifficult.Ilooklikehim,thinklikehim,readlikehimandeatlikehim.Ihaveenjoyedhiscompanysincehewasborn—Iwasthesecondchildandhewasthefourth.Icanspendhourswithhimwithoutanyboredomsettingin.Today,heisarenownedastrophysicistwhohasinnumerableawardsand

distinguishedaccomplishmentstohiscredit.HisworkisallGreektome,justlikemineistohim.Ithinkheisextremelyfocusedandabsolutelyimpractical—hedoesn’tcaremuchabouthisappearance,socialappropriateness,whatothersthinkofhim,orevenfoodforthatmatter.Iammuchmorepracticalinmyapproach.Inmyjourney,Ihavebeenanintegralpartoftheadministrationofmanyorganizations.Butdespitewhatmayappeartobemajordifferences,wearethebestoffriends.WhenShrinivasandIwerechildren,wehaddecidedtomemorizeadictionary

eachduringthesummerholidays.ShrinivaswaspartofthefirstbatchofarecentlyformedEnglish-mediumschoolinourlocality.ThatschoolwasKendriyaVidyalaya.So,hechosetolearntheEnglishdictionarywhileIdefaultedtotheoneinKannada.Atthattime,thechildreninthefamilyhadbeenassignedthetaskofwalkingthefamilydog.Attimes,bothofusdidnotwanttotakehimoutindividuallybecausewewantedtousethattimetolearnafewmore

words.Aftersomethought,wedecidedtowalkthedogtogetherinanefforttorecitethenewwordswehadlearntandtoavoidmonotony.Duringourwalks,wedidmorethanwhatwehadplanned.IeducatedmyselfaboutmadhyamayogathatmybrotherwaslearninginSanskrit,andIspoketohimabouttrigonometry.Iwassurprisedatthespeedwithwhichhelearntitsconceptsdespitethefactthathewasyoungerthanmeandthatitwasnotevenpartofhissyllabusatschool.Othertimes,welovedtodebateaboutourdifferenceinopiniononvarioustopics.FromthetimethatIcanremember,Shrinivashaslovedhisthreesisters

equally.Whenhewassixteen,hehadgonetoNagpurforadebateandwonacashprize.Withthatmoney,heboughtonesari.Hebroughtitbackandgaveittothethreeofus,saying,‘ThisisallthatIcouldafford,andIwantallofyoutosharethissari.’Timehaspassedandourliveshavechanged.Still,thefourofusaretherefor

eachotherwhenthingsgetroughandwhenhappinessabounds.Mybrotherhasbeenlivinginadifferentcountryforthepastfortyyears,and

wemeetonlyannually.Butweremainstronglyconnectedandhecontinuestooccupyaveryspecialplaceinmyheart.Heiscaringbutnotveryexpressiveandlivesinhisbubbleofscienceandastrophysics,alongwithstars,browndwarfs,blackholesandotherentities.TheonlygiftthatIcanreallyandtrulygivehimisthisbook:adearandpreciouspartofme.

1

ATaleofManyTales

Everyperson’slifeisauniquestory.Usually,thestorybecomesfamousonlyafterapersonreceivesrecognitioninwaysthatmattertotheworld.Ifyoupeepintowhatliesdeepinside,itisthechangesheorshehasgonethrough—subtlechangesthattheworldmayneverunderstand.Mostpeopleundertakeanarduousjourneyfullofhighsandlowsthathelps

themmodifyandcreatenewperspectives,thusformingabetterunderstandingoftheworldandrealizingthefactthatrealpassionismuchmorebeautifulthanthepinnacleoftheiraccomplishments.Ironically,lifeappearstobebarrenandaimlesstosomeachieversevenaftertheyreachabiggoal.Recently,IreceivedtheLifetimeAchievementAwardfromCrosswordBooks

atMumbai’sRoyalOperaHouse.Thecategorieswereunravelledonstageonebyone:fiction,non-fictionandchildren’s,amongothers.Thejurymembersgaveinsightsintotheirstrategiesandopinions,andmymindwentbacktothebeginningofmyliteraryjourney.Iamnotastudentofliterature;Ididnotpursueadegreeinthesubject.But

literaturehasalwaysfascinatedme.IbelongtoafamilyofteacherswherebooksaretreasuredandIwasinclinedtowardsbooksataveryyoungage.Igrewupinavillagewherethemediumofcommunicationwasthelocal

language—Kannada.MinewasaKannada-mediumschool.Sometimes,amakeshifttheatreunderatentwouldshowcaseKannadamovies.Therewere

barelyanyradiostationseither.Afterwefinallydidgetaradioathome,itwasmonitoredcloselybytheoldermembersofthefamilywholimiteditsusetoKannadaprogrammesonly.Butaskids,weallhaveourways.Whentheeldersweren’tathome,IwouldlistentoRadioCeylonandoneofitspopularshowscalledBinacaGeetmala.IevenrecallSriLanka’snationalanthem,NamoNamoMata,whichoftenplayedonthatstation.Otherthanthat,therewasnotraceofEnglishinmychildhoodbuttherewasplentyoftimetofigureoutmycreativeoutlets.Myfamilyfrequentlywentforsmalldaytrips:templevisits,wedding-related

events,picnicsoravisittoahistoricalsite.Assoonaswewouldreturnhomeandsettlefortheevening,mymother

wouldinsist,‘Nowsitandwriteaboutyourday.Youmaynotremembertomorrowwhatyouhaveseentoday,andwritingisawonderfulexerciseforyourtinyfingersandyoungminds.’Ialmostalwaysresistedherinstructions.Sittinginoneplaceafteranexciting

daydidn’tsoundlikealotoffun.So,Iwouldrespond,‘Iwillwritetomorrow.’‘That’sfine.Youcanalsohaveyourdinnertomorrowthen,’mymotherwould

say.ThisishowIwasforcedtositandwrite.OnceIbeganwriting,Islowlybutsurelybegantofinditfun.Icouldplay

withcombinationsofthefifty-twolettersintheKannadaalphabetandcreatemeaningfulwordstoexpressmyfeelings:joy,sadness,excitementandanythingelsethatIfelt.Beforelong,writingbecameafondhabit.Formany,manyyears,Iwrotedownmydailythoughts—atleasttwenty-five

linesadayfortwodecades,notrealizingthattheprocesswasinadvertentlyimprovingmyexpressionandaddingclaritytomyideas.Forthis,Iowegratitudetomyfirstteacher,mymother.Asateenager,Ibeganwritingwithatingeofseriousness,alotofadventure

andperhapsevenashadeofromance.Modernitywasthebestthingtherewas,orsoIthought.IwroteaboutMozartandsubmittedthearticletoalocalnewspaper.Whenit

appearedonaSunday,Iwasecstatic.Itookthenewspapertoschoolandsharedthearticlewithmyteachersandclassmates.MyfriendslookedatmewithaweandIfeltlikeIhadreallyachievedsomething!Itwasveryrareforwomentoget

publishedinthosedaysand,inthatinstant,IrealizedthatIwaspossiblytheonlygirlinschoolwhosearticlehadbeenpickedupbyanewspaper.Later,Iwrotearomanticstoryandsentittothesamenewspaper.Dayspassed

butIdidnotreceiveareply.So,Isentaremindertotheeditorwithaprepaidstampedenvelope,hopingthatitwouldencouragehimtoreply.Still,therewasnothing.Finally,IgatheredallthecouragethatIcouldmusterandwenttomeettheeditor.Asexpected,itwasamansincewomeneditorsandjournalistswereabsolutelyunheardofthen.Theeditorlookedatmeandspokegently,‘Mychild,wecannotpublishthisarticle.Agoodpieceofliteraturemustusetherightmixofrealityandimagination.Experience,observation,introspection:thesesensesmustbedevelopedconsciously.Sodon’tgiveup,butthinkaboutthefeedbackthatIhavegivenyoutoday.’AsIsatandbroodedoverthis,Iunderstoodthatimaginationinitselfwasonly

ashiningthreadandnotapieceofbeautifulcloth,thatwritingsimplyaboutfactsorrealissuescouldbedryandwritingwithoutcreativitywouldbeakintoreporting.Theeditorwasright—agoodmixofbothaspectsmakesforinterestingandimpactfulwriting.ItwasalessonthatIhaveneverforgottenandonethatIpractiseeventoday!Mymotherencouragedme.Shesaid,‘Don’tworryaboutgettingpublished.

Evenifyoudon’t,don’tstopwriting.Icanpromiseyouthatwhenyoulookbackandreadyourarticlesagainaftertenyears,youwillseetheimprovementinyourexpression.’Motivated,Ikeptwriting.Later,whenIsubmittedmyarticlestoalocalnewspaper,someofthembegan

tobepublishedoccasionally—likeapleasantshowerduringthesummer.Therewasnofinancialcompensationforthesearticles,andIdidn’texpectanyeither.Gettingmywritingpublishedfeltlikethebiggestcompensation!Theyearsflewby.IcompletedthetenthgradefrommyKannada-medium

schoolandjoinedanEnglish-mediumcollege.Intheolddays,nobodycaredabouttheplightoftheteenagerswhowere

switchingfromKannadatoEnglishasamediumofinstruction.Thereweremanylikemeinthesamerockyboat.Tomakeitworse,itwasthecriticalyearwheremyacademicperformancewouldbecomethegreatestfactorindecidingwhetherIgotadmissiontoengineeringormedicalcoursesornot.Someofmy

peersweresoaghastatthechangeinlanguagethattheychangedtheircoursestostudythearts—notbecausetheyreallywantedtochangetheirsubjects,butbecausesciencewasknowntobetoughandtheartscoursewasthoughttobeeasy,givingthemachancetodowellwhileaccommodatingthechangeinlanguage.IwasfifteenyearsoldthenandunabletowriteasingleparagraphinEnglish.

Confused,Iapproachedmymother.Shesaid,‘YouloveKannadaandwritinginit,don’tyou?’Inodded.‘Thendon’tgetscarednow.Englishisjustanotherlanguage.Yousimplyhave

toreadmoreinEnglishandstartwritinginittoountilyougetcomfortablewiththelanguage.’Fromthatdayon,IconcentratedonreadingEnglishbooksandfounditvery

challenging.ButIpersevered,unwillingtogiveup,andwroteatleastoneparagraphinEnglisheveryday.MygrandfathergiftedmeanEnglish–Kannadadictionaryformybirthdaythatyear,whichbecamemyconstantcompanionforyearsafterthat.Luckilyforme,mathematics,physicsandchemistrydonotrequireextensive

English.Imanagedtodowellandgetadmissiontoanengineeringcollege.Forabriefperiod,Istoppedwritingbecauseofmyschedule.Apartfromtheregularcoursework,theengineeringdrawingsweretoughandtheexperimentstedious.NottomentionthatIhadtomanageeverythingalone.Therewasbarelyanytimetowrite.TheyearsflewbyandIwrotelessandless,butIreadmoreandmore.My

inclinationtowardsreadingwasaugmentedbymyhusband’sloveforit.Sincethedaywemet,hehasbeengiftingmebooksandcontinuestodosoeventoday.Thereisalwaysabriefmessageonthefirstpageofeachgift:‘ToYou,FromMe’.Wereadsomebookstogether,especiallybiographiesandhumour.ButIwasalsointerestedinothersubjectssuchashistory,technologyandanthropologywhileMurthywasmoremotivatedtowardsreadingaboutcommunismandcoding.Therewasaninherentshortageofmoneybutthedesiretoreadmorebooks

remainedasstrongasever.So,MurthyandIdecidedtosetasideabudgetofthreehundredrupeesamonthtopurchasebooksfromtheonce-iconicStrand

BookStall.Thatwasallthatwecouldaffordbackthen,andwewouldsavethismoneybycuttingdownonexpensesinotherareas—wewouldtravelonlyincrowdedbusesandlocaltrainsandcookandcleanathome.Thathelpedussavethemoneyweneededforthebooks.Buteventhen,thisbudgetwasn’tenoughforme.Duringthosedays,shopkeeperswouldfrownatcustomerswhospentalotoftimesimplybrowsingthroughbooks.‘Pleasedon’ttouchthebooksifyoudon’tintendtobuythembecausethentheywillstartlookingusedandoldandapotentialcustomerwillnotwanttobuythem,’theywouldsay.So,Iwouldstandatadistanceandstareatthebookswithgreedyeyes.In1979,Ihadverylittlemoneybutalotofspirit.So,offIwenttoAmerica

allalonewithabackpack.OnelateeveninginNewYork,twopolicemenflaggedmedownsuspectingthatIwascarryingdrugsinmyobviouslyheavybag.Whentheyscannedmybag,alltheyfoundwaswhatIwastrulyaddictedto—curdrice!TheyweresosurprisedattheirfindingthatIhadtoexplainwhereIwasfromandthesignificanceofcurdriceinsouthIndia.Manymoreofsuchdaringincidentsmarkedmyjourney.WhenIcamebackto

India,IwroteaboutmyadventuresinKannada,titledmywriting‘FrombeyondtheAtlantic’,andkeptitaside.Thethoughtofpublishingitnevercrossedmymind.Morethanayearlater,Iwasspeakingtomyfatheraboutmyadventuresand

mywritingwhenhesuggested,‘Whydon’tyougoaheadandpublishthisasabook?Youalreadyknowhowrareitisforyounggirlsfromourareatogobackpackingtoanunknownland.Itissuretobeauniquebookforthatreasonalone.’Iwasn’tpreparedforthatthought.Me:anauthor?WhenIthoughtofthe

word,IwasusuallyremindedofpeoplelikeJeromeK.Jerome,P.G.Wodehouse,V.S.Naipaul,Jean-PaulSartreandKannadawriterssuchasTriveniandBhyrappa.Anauthormustbeofthatcalibre,orsoIthought.Ifeltsillyandstrangejustatthethoughtthatsomeoneasordinaryasmewasthinkingofbecominganauthor.Ibroodedoveritforafewdaysuntilthefeelingsettled.ThenIwondered:‘Is

thereanythingwronginsendingmymanuscripttoapublisher?Theworstthatcouldhappenisthattheywouldrejectmywork.ButIamusedtorejection,amInot?’

Withbravadoinmyheart,IapproachedapopularKannadapublishinghousecalledManoharaGranthaMala,whoselegendaryfounderG.B.Joshiwasknownforgivingnewcomersabreak.AmongtheauthorswhohadstartedoutthiswaywereGirishKarnadandM.K.Indira.IspokehesitantlytoMrJoshiandgavehimmymanuscript,whosaidthathewouldcontactmewithintwodays.Forty-eighthourslater,Iwasimpatientandtense.Myfeelingsatthattimeweresomewhatsimilartogoingthroughlabourduringapregnancy.Finally,heinformedmethathewouldpublishmymanuscript.HeneverspokeofroyaltyandIdidnotaskforit.Thatday,myfamilyandIcelebratedasifIhadbecomeaprominentauthoralready.Nevertheless,itwasafirst.Iwasthefirstauthorinmyfamilyofseventy-fivefirstandsecondcousins,auntsanduncles.Muchlikeapregnancy,thebooktooktenmonthstoreachthemarket.WhenI

heardofthisdevelopment,ItookabusfromHublitoDharwadtoacceptmyfirstbrainchildfromthepublisherandreceivedthefirsttwentycopieswithgreataffection.Iwasthrilled!IwonderedhowIwoulddistributethesecopiesamongmybigfamily.Inthe

end,Igaveafewcopiestomyparents-in-law,afewmoretomyfriendsandkeptthreewithmyself.Theremainingcopieswereexhaustedquickly.Somefriendscongratulatedmeandbroughtboxesofsweets.Otherssaidwithpride,‘Wehadnocluethatanengineercouldturnintoawritertoo!Weareveryhappy!’Afewremarked,‘EvenwewouldhavewrittenabookhadwegonetoAmericaandreturned.Youneedmoneytotravelandwriteabook.’Thefirstbookfinallygavemethetitleofbeinganauthorandmademewant

more.In1979,whenIwasinJamshedpur,theninBihar,fortwomonths,Ifound

myselfallaloneinthecompanyguesthouse.ItwasthenthatIconceivedtheideaformynextbook.Icamefromamiddle-classbackgroundandwasquitefascinatedbyhowrichwomenledtheirlives,especiallythosewhosehusbandswereperpetuallybusywithbusiness.Idecidedtousethisfascinationandsomeofmyimaginationforthisnovel.IreturnedtoMumbaiwiththeideastilllingeringinmymind.WhenIranthe

ideapastMrMurthy,hegavemeablankstare.‘Ican’thelpyouthere,I’mafraid.IamneitherrichnoramIalady.’

So,thatwasthat.Aftersomethought,Imadesomeinquirieswithvariouscolleaguesatworkandobservedthe‘rich’womenthatIcouldseeonJuhubeach,intowwiththeirchildrenandayahs.Theresultoftheimaginationandresearchledtomyfirstnovel,Athirikthe,in

Kannada.AsIwroteit,Iallowedmyselftoentertheleadcharacter’smindandfeelthejoyandpainofhercircumstances.Attheend,Ihadtomakeanefforttoexitfromthecharacter’slifeandreturntomyown.ThusbeganmyjourneyinKannadaliterature.Thistime,IwentthroughanotherpublisherwhowaslocatedinMysore.Icontinuedtowrite.Mysubsequentnovels,however,wererejected.Ifigured

thatifIwantedtograbmoreeyeballs,Imusttrymyhandatwritingaseriesforanewspaper.Tomysurprise,eventhesewererejected.Somepapersdidnotrespondatallwhileotherssaidthatmywritingwasn’tseriesmaterial.Yearspassed,andIcontinuedtoreadavidly.Oneday,IwenttoaweddingwhereIsawayounggirlwithleucoderma

sittinginfrontofme,havingameal.Justthen,someonefromthefamilycameandsaidtoher,‘Youcannotsitherewiththeothers.Youhaveleucoderma.Pleasegetup.’Humiliated,thegirlcriedandleftimmediately.Thisbehaviourhurtme.IamthedaughterofadoctorandIknowthatunlike

leprosy,leucodermaisonlyacosmeticdisease.Itisnotcontagiousandnotproventobehereditaryeither.Thenwhydopeoplebehavethiswaywithfellowbeings?Theincidentprovokedmeintoundertakingsomeresearch.AsIspoketo

people,Irealizedthatmanyengagementswerebrokenandmarriagescalledoff,especiallyincaseswhereoneormoreofthebride’srelativeshadthediseasebutshedidnot.Ihadlongchatswithdermatologistsandrebelledstronglyagainstthisheinoustreatmentwhichdoesnothingbutkillconfidence.Forthefirsttimeinmylife,Ithoughtofwritingaboutthistocreate

awareness,butintheformofastory.ThisishowmynovelMahashwetawasborn.Many,manyyearslater,Iwasatanotherwedding.Tomypleasantsurprise,

thegroomcameuptomeandsaid,‘IhavereadMahashwetaandtodayIam

marryingagirlwhohasleucoderma.Thebookcompletelychangedmyperspective.’ItwasthedaythatIrealizedthatperhapsIcouldmakeadifferenceifI

continuedtowriteaboutissuesIwaspassionateabout.Intheseventiesandtheeighties,goingtoAmericawasanoutstanding

achievement.Indiawasn’tclosetoliberalizationyetandthenumberofjobopportunitieswasverylowinthecountry.TheAmericandollar,however,wasamagicwand—onedollarequalledtenrupees.PeoplewhosettledthereandcamebacktoIndiaforavacationalmostalwayslookeddownuponthosehere.EventhelocalfamiliesdifferentiatedbetweenthechildrenandgrandchildrenwhowereintheUSandthosewhostayedhere.ItwasbutnaturalthatthewivesanddaughterswholivedinAmericagotmuchmoreattentionandimportance.ButIknewbythenthatlifeinAmericawasn’tasgreenasitwasmadeoutto

be.Livingtherewasn’tdevoidofstruggles.So,IwroteDollarBahu(orDollarSose)inKannada.Themanuscriptfirst

becameaseriesinanewspaper,thenabookandthenatelevisionseries.ItwaseventranslatedintoItalianalongwithotherIndianlanguages.Today,itisstillwidelyavailableinbookshops.MyjourneywithKannadacontinued,andthethoughtofwritinginEnglish

didn’tevencrossmymind.Theyear1980markedmyveryfirstbooklaunchforAtlanticadacheyinda.

TheeventwasheldatMayoHallinBangalore.Tome,itwaslikeasmallweddingsignifyingthemarriageofmybooktothepublisher.Iinvitedmanypeople.Allkithandkinfondofliteraturecameforthelaunch,includingsomeofmywonderfulfriendswhocouldn’tevenreadKannada.ButtheylovedmeandwereproudofthefactthatIwasanauthor.OneofthemgiftedmeasilveridolofSaraswati,thegoddessandsymbolofknowledge.Forthefirsttime,andwhatIthoughtmayalsobethelast,Istoodonstage,spoketomyreadersandexpressedmyloveforbooksandKannada.LittledidIknowthatthiswouldbethefirstofmanypublicevents.Oneday,T.J.S.George,theeditoroftheNewIndianExpress,sentwordthatI

shouldwritemycolumnsinEnglish.Hesimplysaid,‘Alanguageisbutavehicle.It’sthepersoninsidewho’sweavingthestorythat’smoreimportant.

Youareastoryteller.So,justgetonwithyourstoryandthelanguagewillfallintoplace.’Withhiskindwordsandencouragement,IbeganwritinginEnglish.My

columns,named‘Episodes’,startedtoappearintheNewIndianExpresson12November2000.IwasinShimogathedayIheardsomeoneinahotelsay,‘SudhaMurtyhaswrittenacolumninEnglish.’Instantly,IwaselevatedtobeinganEnglishwriterbyastranger.Ittookmesometimetobelievethatpeoplewantedtoreadmycolumns.ThisjourneycontinuedwithotheravenuesliketheTimesofIndia,TheHinduandtheWeek.OneadvantageofwritinginEnglishwasthatitledmetoformfriendships

withpeoplefromdifferentstatesandwalksoflife.OneofthoseturnedouttobethelatePresidentA.P.J.AbdulKalam.Thiswas2001,andhewasn’tourPresidentyet.HewasascientistattheDefenceResearchandDevelopmentOrganization(DRDO).HehappenedtoreadoneofmycolumnsintheWeek,anIndiannewsmagazine,andsaidthatthehumourinmywritingwasniceandthemessagestrong.HeaskedhowIhadlearnttheartofendinganarticlewithagistofthestoryandexpressedinterestinmeetingme.Ayearlater,myfirstbookinEnglishcameoutasacollectionofmycolumns

thankstoGeorge,whointroducedmetoEastWestBooksPvt.LtdinChennai.George,withhisgenuineencouragement,wrotetheforewordforthebookandgaveitanenchantingtitle:WiseandOtherwise.IrealizedthatwhenabookisreleasedinEnglish,itisreadbymorepeople

andtranslationsintoregionallanguageshappenmoreeasily.Today,mybookshavebeentranslatedintoallmajorIndianlanguagesandarereadinmoststatesofIndia.Astheyearspassed,theInfosysFoundation’sworkprovidedmewith

experiencesthatenlargedmycanvasevenasthewritingcontinued.Iapproachedmanypublisherswhorejectedmymanuscripts.Theysaid,‘Yourlanguageistoosimple.Itisnotfloweryorsophisticatedandcomesacrossastoosimpleandevennaive.Ouropinionisthatpeoplewillnotappreciateit.’Afewsuggested,‘YoutellyourstorytosomeonewhohasagoodcommandovertheEnglishlanguage.Theywillrewriteitand,together,youbothcanco-author.’ButIdidn’tagree.Iwantedtokeepmystyledistinctiveandportrayitexactly

thewayIam.

Alongtheway,Irealizedtheimportanceofagoodeditor—someonewhocantakethebooktogreaterheights.Ihavelearntthatagreateditormustbeareflectionoftheauthor,someonewhounderstandstheauthor.IamextremelyluckytohavefoundthesequalitiesinmyyoungandbrighteditorShrutkeertiKhurana,whoisatalentedengineerandamanagementgraduatewithanimmenselovefortheEnglishlanguage.IhaveknownShruteesincethedayshewasbornbecauseIwasfriendswithherparentseventhen.Ihaveseenhergrowingup,shehasseenmegettingold,andourbondhasdeepenedwitheachpassingdayovertheyears.Shereadsmymind,tellsmefranklywhereIamwrong,wheresheisgettingboredwithmywritingandeditsasrequired.Inadditiontowork,webothlovereadinganddiscusscountlessthings—thingsthatarehere,thereandeverywhere.Ialsowanttothankmywonderfulfamilywhoknewofmyloveforwriting

andunderstooditandallowedmetoprioritizeitovertheirneeds.Intime,PenguinRandomHousebecamemysoleEnglishpublisher.Iwasalso

fortunateenoughtogetinterestfrompublisherswhoworkedinregionallanguages,andIhaveremainedwiththemsincethebeginning.FortheMarathilanguage,thereisMehtaPublishingHouseinPune,R.R.ShethinAhmedabadforGujarati,PrabhatPrakashaninDelhiforHinditranslations,DCBooksinKottayamforMalayalamandAlakanandaPrachuranaluinVijayawadaforTelugutranslations,amongothers.Oneday,IreceivedanemailfromaGujaratireaderwhoasked,‘SudhaBen,

youlooklikeaGujaratiandyoueveneatlikeone.Yourbooksarereallywonderful.Iamverycurious:howdidyougetmarriedtoasouthIndian?’Theemailmademesmile.IrespondedtothereaderthatIwasasouthIndian

myselfandthatthequalityofthetranslationsinGujaratiwassogoodthatshethoughtthatIbelongedtoherland.Duringoneofmyinternationaltrips,Iwaspleasantlysurprisedtocome

acrossmybooksinNewJersey.AsIbeamedandpickedoneofthemup,theGujaratishopkeeperlookedatmeandcommented,‘Takeit.Sarasche.’HemeantthatthebookwasniceandthatIshouldbuyit.Happily,Inodded.AsIheardmynamebeingcalledonstageagainfortheLifetimeAchievement

Award,mymindreturnedtothepresentandIslowlyclimbedthestepsleading

uptothestage.Eachstepwasareminderofthejourneythathaslastedoverfortyyears.Itwasajourneyfilledwithrejections,negativecommentsanddisapprovals,alongwithappreciation,alotofloveandaffection.IhopethatIhavesomehowbeenthevoiceforpeoplewhoremainshy,hidden,unknownandyearnforanoutletoftheirexpression.Ihavelostcountofthenumberoftimespeoplehavesaidtome,‘Ican’twrite.

ButIwanttosharemystory.Willyouwriteitandshareitwiththeworld?’Someofmystudentshavefrequentlyremarked,‘Madam,eachofushas

falteredandmademistakesduringthecourseofourlives.Wedon’twantthenextgenerationtogothroughtryingtimesthatcanbeavoidedwithjustalittlebitofadviceandwisdom.Willyoutellourstoriesinyourbook?’Iamalwayshesitant.Idon’twanttotakeanyone’sprivacyforgrantedor

shareanythingwithouthisorherpermissionandfaith.Butpowerfulstories,nomatterwheretheycomefrom,aremeanttobetold.So,Ifancymyselfasonlyacarrier.MyvastexperiencewiththetrulyunderprivilegedinIndia,mypublisherswho

hadunwaveringfaithinme,myexcellenteditorandmyreadershavemademewhatIamtoday.So,myjourneyisnotminealone.Itisalsoaboutthepeoplearoundme.There’sapartofmethatrealizesthatmywritingemanatesfromSaraswati,thegoddessofknowledge,learningandwriting,andthatIamonlyherscribe.Withoutherassentandblessing,Ican’twriteevenoneline.Today,Ihavearésuméoftwenty-ninebooksandamabilingualwriterinboth

EnglishandKannadawithwritingsacrosscategoriessuchasnovels,non-fiction,fiction,children’sbooks,traveloguesandtechnicalbooks.MybookshavebeentranslatedintotwentylanguagesandoneBraillesystem.Thisbookismy200th

title.Asmanyas26millioncopiesofmybookshavebeensold,ofwhich1.5millionareinEnglishalone.ButIhavealsolearntthehardwaythatnothingsucceedslikesuccess.The

proof,I’vebeentold,liesinthesalesandthenumberofreprintssoldinthelastdecadeandmore.Despitethenumbers,IknowthatIamnotanauthorfortheEnglisheliteandthatIcannotspinwordslikethebooksfromtheWestorsomeIndianauthors.ButEnglishisnolongeralanguagemeantonlyfortheelite,asitwasinthedaysbefore.Somehow,thecommonpeopleofIndiahavefoundawaytowelcomeEnglishintotheirdailylives,andthatincludesmetoo.Icanonly

tellstoriesfromtheheartandinasimplemanner.That’sallIreallyknow,andthatisalsotheonlythingintheworldthatistrulymine.

2

‘Amma,WhatIsYourDuty?’

Atthattime,mydaughter,Akshata,wasateenager.Bynatureshewasverysensitive.Onherown,shestartedreadingforblindchildrenatRamanaMaharishiAcademyfortheBlindatBangalore.Shewasascribetoo.Sheusedtocomehomeandtellmeabouttheworldofblindpeople.Latershewroteanessayonthem,called‘ISawtheWorldthroughtheBlindEyesofMary’.Marywasastudentattheacademywhowasabouttoappearforthepre-universityexam.Once,AkshatatookMarytoLalbaghforachange.Theconversationbetweenthemwasquiteunusual.‘Mary,therearedifferenttypesofredrosesinthispark,’Akshatatoldher.Marywassurprised.‘Akshata,whatdoyoumeanbyred?’Akshatadidnotknowhowtoexplainwhatwasred.Shetookaroseanda

jasmine,andgavethemtoMary.‘Mary,smellthesetwoflowersinyourhand.Theyhavedifferentsmells.The

firstoneisarose.Itisredincolour.Thesecondoneisjasmine.Itiswhite.Mary,itisdifficulttoexplainwhatisredandwhatiswhite.ButIcantellyouthatinthisworldtherearemanycolours,whichcanbeseenanddifferentiatedonlythroughtheeyesandnotbytouch.Iamsorry.’AfterthatincidentAkshatatoldme,‘Amma,nevertalkaboutcolourswhen

youtalktoblindpeople.Theyfeelfrustrated.IfeltsohelplesswhenIwastrying

toexplaintoMary.NowIalwaysdescribetheworldtothembydescribingsmellsandsoundswhichtheyunderstandeasily.’AkshataalsousedtohelpablindboycalledAnandSharmaatthisschool.He

wastheonlychildofaschoolteacherfromBihar.Hewasbrightandjolly.Hewasabouttoappearforhissecondpre-universityexam.Oneday,Iwasheadingforanexaminationcommitteemeeting.Atthattime,I

washeadofthedepartmentofcomputerscienceatalocalcollege.ItwasalmosttheendofFebruary.Winterwasslowlyendingandtherewasatraceofsummersettingin.Bangaloreisblessedwithbeautifulweather.Themanytreesliningtheroadswerefloweringandthecitywasswathedindifferentshadesofviolet,yellowandred.Iwasbusygettingreadytoattendthemeeting,henceIwascollectingold

syllabi,questionpapersandreferencebooks.Akshatacameupstairstomyroom.Shelookedworriedandtired.Shewasthenstudyinginclassten.Ithoughtshewastiredpreparingforherexams.Asamother,Ihaveneverinsistedmychildrenstudytoomuch.Myparentsneverdidthat.Theyalwaysbelievedthechildhastoberesponsible.Aresponsiblechildwillsitdowntostudyonhisorherown.ItoldAkshata,‘Don’tworryabouttheexams.Tryingisinyourhands.The

resultsarenotwithyou.’Shewasannoyedandirritatedbymyadvice.‘Amma,Ididn’ttalkaboutanyexamination.Whyareyouremindingmeofthat?’Iwassurprisedatherirritation.ButIwasalsobusygatheringoldquestion

paperssoIdidnotsayanything.Absently,Ilookedatherface.Wasthereatraceofsadnessonit?Orwasitmyimagination?‘Amma,youknowAnandSharma.Hecametoourhouseonce.Heisabright

boy.Iamconfidentthathewilldoverywellinhisfinalexamination.Heisalsoconfidentaboutit.Hewantstostudyfurther.’Shestopped.BythistimeIhadfoundtheoldquestionpapersIhadbeen

lookingfor,butnotthesyllabus.Mysearchwason.Akshatastoodfacingmeandcontinued,‘Amma,hewantstostudyatStStephen’sinDelhi.Hedoesnothaveanybody.Heispoor.Itisanexpensiveplace.Whatshouldhedo?Whowillsupporthim?Iamworried.’ItwasgettinglateformymeetingsoIcasuallyremarked,‘Akshata,whydon’t

yousupporthim?’

‘Amma,wheredoIhavethemoneytosupportaboyinaDelhihostel?’Mysearchwasstillon.‘Youcanforfeityourbirthdaypartyandsavemoneyandsponsorhim.’Athome,evennowbothourchildrendonotgetpocketmoney.Whenever

theywanttobuyanythingtheyaskmeandIgivethemoney.Wedon’thavebigbirthdayparties.Akshata’sbirthdaypartywouldmeancallingafewofherfriendstothehouseandorderingfoodfromthenearbyfast-foodjoint,ShanthiSagar.‘Amma,whenaneducatedpersonlikeyou,welltravelled,wellreadand

withoutloveformoneydoesnothelppoorpeople,thendon’texpectanyoneelsetodo.Isitnotyourdutytogivebacktothoseunfortunatepeople?Whatareyoulookingforinlife?Areyoulookingforglamourorfame?Youarethedaughterofadoctor,granddaughterofaschoolteacherandcomefromadistinguishedteachingfamily.Ifyoucannothelppoorpeoplethendon’texpectanyoneelsetodoit.’Herwordsmademeabandonmysearch.Iturnedaroundandlookedatmy

daughter.Isawasensitiveyounggirlpleadingforthefutureofapoorblindboy.Orwasshesomeoneremindingmeofmydutytowardssociety?IhadreceivedsomuchfromthatsocietyandcountrybutinwhatwaywasIgivingback?ForaminuteIwasfrozen.ThenIrealizedIwasholdingthesyllabusIwaslookingforinmyhandanditwasgettinglateforthemeeting.Akshatawentawaywithangerandsadnessinhereyes.Itooleftforcollegein

aconfusedstateofmind.WhenIreached,Isawthatasusualthemeetingwasdelayed.NowIwasall

alone.Isettleddowninmychairinoneoftheloftyroomsofthecollege.Thereisadifferencebetweenlonelinessandsolitude.Lonelinessisboring,whereasinsolitudeyoucaninspectandexamineyourdeedsandyourthoughts.Isatandrecollectedwhathadhappenedthatafternoon.Akshata’swordswere

stillringinginmymind.Iwasforty-fiveyearsold.Whatwasmydutyatthisage?WhatwasIlooking

forinlife?Ididnotstartoutinlifewithalotofmoney.Agreatdealofhardworkhad

beenputintogettowhereweweretoday.WhathadIlearntfromthehardjourneythatwasmylife?DidIworkformoney,fameorglamour?No,Ididnot

workforthose;theycameaccidentallytome.InitiallyIworkedformyself,excellinginstudies.AfterthatIwasdevotedtoInfosysandmyfamily.Shouldnottheremainingpartofmylifebeusedtohelpthosepeoplewhoweresufferingfornofaultoftheirs?Wasthatnotmyduty?SuddenlyIrememberedJRD’spartingadvicetome:‘Givebacktosociety.’IdecidedthatwaswhatIwasgoingtodofortherestofmylife.Ifeltrelieved

andyearsyounger.Ifirmlybelievenodecisionshouldbetakenemotionally.Itshouldbetaken

withacoolmindandwhenyouareawareoftheconsequences.Afteraweek,Iwrotemyresignationletterasheadofthedepartmentandoptedonlyforateacher’spost.IamevergratefultoAkshataforhelpingtobringthishappinessand

satisfactiontomyworkandlife.ItmeansmoretomethanthegoodranksIgotinschool,andmywealth.WhenIseehopeintheeyesofadestituteperson,seethewarmsmileonthe

facesofoncehelplesspeople,Ifeelsosatisfied.TheytellmethatIammakingadifference.IjoinedtheInfosysFoundationasafoundertrustee.Thefoundationtookupa

numberofphilanthropicprojectsforthebenefitofthepoorindifferentstatesofIndia.Ireceivedmanyawardsonvariousoccasions.OneofthemwastheEconomic

TimesAwardgiventotheInfosysFoundation.AsatrusteeIwasinvitedtoreceivethisaward.AtthattimeIrememberedmyguru.NowshewasastudentintheUS.Itoldher,‘AtleastforonedayyoumustcomeforthisawardceremonyinMumbai.Ifyouhadnotwokenmeupattherighttime,Iwouldnothavebeenreceivingittoday.Iwantyoutobepresent.’IwillremainindebtedtoAkshataforeverforthewayshemademechangemy

lifeandthelessonshetaughtme.

3

HonestyComesfromtheHeart

OnebrightJunemorningthreeyearsago,IwasreadingmyKannadanewspaperasusual.ItwasthedaytheSecondarySchoolLeavingCertificateresultshadbeenpublished.Whilecolumnsofrollnumbersfilledtheinsidepages,thelistofrankholdersandtheirphotographstookupalmosttheentirefrontpage.Ihaveagreatfascinationforrankholders.Rankisnotmerelyanindexof

one’sintelligence,italsoindicatesthehardworkandperseverancethatstudentshaveputintoreachtheirgoal.Mybackground—Iwasbroughtupinaprofessor’sfamily—andmyownexperienceasateacherhaveledmetobelievethis.Ofallthephotographsinthatmorning’snewspaper,oneboy’ssnapshot

caughtmyattention.Icouldnottakemyeyesoffhim.Hewasfrailandpale,buttherewasanendearingsparkleinhiseyes.Iwantedtoknowmoreabouthim.IreadthathisnamewasHanumanthappaandthathehadsecuredtheeighthrank.ThatwasalltheinformationIcouldgather.Thenextday,tomysurprise,hisphotographwaspublishedagain,thistime

withaninterview.WithgrowinginterestIlearntthatHanumanthappawasacoolie’sson,theoldestoffivechildren.Theybelongedtoatribalgroup.Hewasunabletostudyfurther,hesaidintheinterview,becausehelivedinavillageandhisfather,thesolebreadwinner,earnedonlyRs40aday.

Ifeltsorryforthisbrightboy.Mostofussendourchildrentotuitionsandtocoachingclasses,webuythemreferencebooksandguides,andprovidethebestpossiblefacilitiesforthemwithoutconsideringthecost.ButitwasdifferentforHanumanthappaofRampura.Hehadexcelledinspiteofbeingdeniedsomeofthebasicnecessitiesoflife.WhileIwasthinkingabouthimwiththenewspaperstillinmyhands,Igazed

atamangotreeinmyneighbour’scompound.Itlookeditsbestwithafreshbark,tendergreenleavesglisteningwithdewdropsandmangoesthatwereabouttoripeninafewdays.Beyondthetreewasasmallpottedplantthat,Inoticed,hadremainedalmostthesameeversinceithadbeenpotted.Itwasacalmmorning.Theairwascoolandfresh.Mythoughtswererunningfree.Thecontinuouswhistleofourpressurecookerbrokethesilence,remindingmethathalfanhourhadpassed.Hanumanthappa’spostaladdresswasprovidedintheinterview.Without

wastingmuchtime,Itookapostcardandwrotetohim.Iwroteonlytwolines,sayingthatIwasinterestedinmeetinghimandaskingwhetherhecouldcometoBangalore.Justthenmyfather,everapracticalman,returnedfromhismorningwalk.Hereadthepostcardandsaid,‘Wherewillhehavethemoneytocomesofar?Ifyouwanthimtocomehere,sendsomemoneyforhisbusfareplusalittleextratobuyhimselfadecentsetofclothes.’SoIaddedathirdlinetosaythatIwouldpayforhistravelandsomeclothes.

WithinfourdaysIreceivedasimilarpostcardinreply.Twosentences:inthefirsthethankedmefortheletter,inthesecondheexpressedhiswillingnesstocometoBangaloreandmeetme.Immediately,Isenthimsomemoneyanddetailsofmyofficeaddress.Whenhefinallyarrivedinouroffice,helookedlikeafrightenedcalfthathad

lostitsway.ItmusthavebeenhisfirsttriptoBangalore.Hewashumble.Heworeacleanshirtandtrousers,andhishairwasneatlypartedandcombed.Thesparkleinhiseyeswasstillthere.Igotstraighttothepoint.‘Wearehappyaboutyouracademicperformance.

Doyouwanttostudyfurther?Wewouldliketosponsoryou.Thismeanswewillpayyourfeesforanycourseofstudyyouwishtotakeup—whereveritmaybe.’Hedidnotanswer.

Myseniorcolleague,whowasintheofficewithme,interruptedwithasmile,‘Don’tgoatthespeedofbitsandbytes.Lettheboyunderstandwhatyouaresuggesting.Hecangiveushisanswerattheendoftheday.’WhenHanumanthappawasreadytoreturnhome,hesaidinalowandsteady

tone,‘Madam,IwanttopursuemystudiesattheTeachers’TrainingCollegeinBellary.Thatistheonenearesttomyvillage.’Iagreedinstantlybutspoketohimalittlemoretofindoutwhethertherewas

anyothercoursehepreferred.Iwastryingtomakeitcleartohimthatwewouldpaythefeesforanycoursehemightchoose.Theboy,however,seemedtoknowexactlywhathewanted.‘HowmuchmoneyshouldIsendyoupermonth?Doesthecollegehavea

hostelfacility?’Iasked.Hesaidhewouldgetbacktomeaftercollectingthecorrectdetails.Twodays

later,hewrotetousinhisbeautifulhandwritingthathewouldrequireapproximatelyRs300permonth.Heplannedtotakearoomonrentandshareitwithafriend.Thetwoboyswouldcookforthemselvesinordertokeeptheirexpensesdown.IsenthimRs1800tocoverhisexpensesforsixmonths.Heacknowledged

mydraftwithoutdelayandexpressedhisgratitude.Timepassed.Oneday,IsuddenlyrememberedthatIhadtopay

Hanumanthappaforthenextsixmonths,soIsenthimanotherdraftforRs1800.Thistoowasdulyacknowledged,butIwassurprisedtofindsomecurrency

notesintheenvelopealongwithhisletter.‘Madam,’hehadwritten,‘itiskindofyoutohavesentmemoneyforthenextsixmonths.ButIwasnotinBellaryforthelasttwomonths.Onemonth,ourcollegewasclosedforholidaysandduringthenextmonth,therewasastrike.SoIstayedathomeforthosetwomonths.MyexpenditureduringthesemonthswaslessthanRs300permonth.Therefore,IamsendingyoutheRs300thatIhavenotusedforthelasttwomonths.Kindlyacceptthisamount.’Iwastakenaback.Suchpovertyandyetsuchhonesty.Hanumanthappaknew

Iexpectednoaccountofthemoneysenttohimforhismonthlyexpenses,yethehadmadeitapointtoreturnthebalanceamount.Unbelievablebuttrue!Experiencehastaughtmethathonestyisnotthemarkofanyparticularclass

norisitrelatedtoeducationorwealth.Itcannotbetaughtatanyuniversity.In

mostpeople,itspringsnaturallyfromtheheart.Ididnotknowhowtoreacttothissimplevillageboy’shonesty.Ijustprayed

thatGodwouldcontinuetobestowthebestonHanumanthappaandhisfamily.

4

TheRedRiceGranary

Everyyear,ourcountryhastofacenaturaldisastersinsomeform.ItmaybeanearthquakeinGujarat,floodsinOrissaoradroughtinKarnataka.Inapoorcountry,thesecalamitiescausehavoc.Inthecourseofmywork,Ihavefoundthataftersuchcalamities,manypeople

liketodonatemoneyormaterialstorelieffunds.Weassumethatmostdonationscomefromrichpeople,butthatisnottrue.Onthecontrary,peoplefromthemiddleclassandthelowermiddleclasshelpmore.Rarelydorichpeopleparticipatewholeheartedly.Afewyearsback,IwasinvitedtoareputedcompanyinBangaloretodeliver

alectureoncorporatesocialresponsibility.Givingaspeechiseasy.ButIwasnotsurehowmanypeopleintheaudiencewouldreallyunderstandthespeechandchangethemselves.Aftermytalkwasover,Imetmanyyounggirlsandboys.Itwasanaffluent

companyandtheemployeeswerewelloffandwelldressed.Theywereallveryemotionalafterthelecture.‘Madam,webuysomanyclotheseverymonth.Canwedonateouroldclothes

tothosepeoplewhoareaffectedbytheearthquake?Canyoucoordinateandsendthesetothem?’Someofthemofferedotherthings.

‘Wehavegrown-upchildren,wewouldliketogivetheiroldtoysandsomevessels.’Iwasverypleasedatthereaction.Itremindedmeoftheincidentinthe

Ramayanawhere,duringtheconstructionofthebridgebetweenIndiaandLanka,everysquirrelhelpedSriRamabybringingahandfulofsand.‘Pleasesendyourbagstomyoffice.Iwillseethattheyreachtheright

persons.’Withinaweek,myofficewasfloodedwithhundredsofbags.Iwasproudthat

mylecturehadprovensoeffective.OneSunday,alongwithmyassistants,Iopenedthebags.Whatwesawleftus

amazedandshocked.Thebagswerebrimmingwithallkindsofjunk!Pilesofhigh-heeledslippers(someofthemwithoutthepair),tornundergarments,unwashedshirts,cheap,transparentsaris,toyswhichhadneithershapenorcolour,unusablebedsheets,aluminiumvesselsandbrokencassettesweresoonpiledinfrontofuslikeamountain.Therewereonlyafewgoodshirts,sarisandusablematerials.Itwasapparentthatinsteadofsendingthematerialtoagarbagedumporthekabariwala,thesepeoplehadtransferredthemtomyofficeinthenameofdonation.ThemenandwomenIhadmetthatdaywerebright,well-travelled,well-offpeople.Ifeducatedpeoplelikethembehavedlikethis,whatwoulduneducatedpeopledo?ButthenIwasremindedofanincidentfrommychildhood.Iwasbornand

broughtupinavillagecalledShiggaoninKarnataka’sHaveridistrict.Mygrandfatherwasaretiredschoolteacherandmygrandmother,Krishtakka,neverwenttoschool.BothofthemhardlytravelledandhadneversteppedoutofKarnataka.Yet,theywerehard-workingpeople,whodidtheirworkwholeheartedlywithoutexpectinganythingfromanybodyintheirlife.Theirphotographsneverappearedinanypaper,nordidtheygouponstagetoreceiveaprizefortheworktheydid.Theylivedlikeflowerswithfragranceintheforest,enchantingeveryonearoundthem,buthardlynoticedbytheoutsideworld.Inthevillagewehadpaddyfieldsandweusedtostorethepaddyingranaries.

Thereweretwogranaries.Onewasinthefrontandtheotheratthebackofourhouse.Thebetter-qualityrice,whichwaswhite,wasalwaysstoredinthefront

granaryandtheinferiorquality,whichwasalittlethickandred,wasstoredinthegranaryattheback.Inthosedays,therewasnocommunaldivideinthevillage.Peoplefrom

differentcommunitieslivedtogetherinpeace.Manywouldcometoourhousetoaskforalms.TherewereMuslimfakirs,Hindudasaiahswhoroamedthecountrysidesingingdevotionalsongs,YellammaJogathiswhoappearedholdingtheimageofGoddessYellammaovertheirheads,poorstudentsandinvalidpeople.Weneverhadtoomuchcashinthehouseandtheonlyhelpmygrandfather

couldgivethesepeoplewasintheformofrice.Peoplewhoreceivehelpdonottalktoomuch.Theywouldreceivetherice,smileandraisetheirrighthandtoblessus.Irrespectiveoftheirreligion,theblessingwasalways‘MayGodblessyou.’Mygrandfatheralwayslookedhappyaftergivingthemalms.Iwasalittlegirlthenandnottootall.Sincetheentrancetothefrontgranary

waslow,itwasdifficultforgrown-upstoenter.SoIwouldbegivenasmallbucketandsentinside.ThereIusedtofillupthebucketwithriceandgiveittothem.Theywouldtellmehowmanymeasurestheywanted.Intheevening,mygrandmotherusedtocookforeverybody.Thattimeshe

wouldsendmetothegranaryatthebackofthehousewheretheredricewasstored.Iwouldagainfillupthebucketwithasmuchriceasshewantedandgetitforhertocookourdinner.Thiswentonformanyyears.WhenIwasalittleolder,Iaskedmy

grandparentsaquestionthathadbeenbotheringmeforlong.‘Whyshouldweeattheredricealwaysatnightwhenitisnotsogood,and

givethosepoorpeoplethebetter-qualityrice?’MygrandmothersmiledandtoldmesomethingIwillneverforgetinmylife.‘Child,wheneveryouwanttogivesomethingtosomebody,givethebestin

you,neverthesecondbest.ThatiswhatIhavelearntfromlife.Godisnotthereinthetemple,mosqueorchurch.Heiswiththepeople.Ifyouservethemwithwhateveryouhave,youhaveservedGod.’Mygrandfatheransweredmyquestioninadifferentway.‘OurancestorshavetaughtusintheVedasthatoneshould:‘Donatewithkindwords.‘Donatewithhappiness.

‘Donatewithsincerity.‘Donateonlytotheneedy.‘Donatewithoutexpectationbecauseitisnotagift.Itisaduty.‘Donatewithyourwife’sconsent.‘Donatetootherpeoplewithoutmakingyourdependantshelpless.‘Donatewithoutcaringforcaste,creedandreligion.‘Donatesothatthereceiverprospers.’Thislessonfrommygrandparents,toldtomewhenIwasjustalittlegirl,has

stayedwithmeeversince.IfatallIamhelpinganyonetoday,itisbecauseoftheteachingsofthosesimplesouls.Ididnotlearntheminanyschoolorcollege.

5

LazyPortado

Portadowasayoung,bright,handsomeandsweetboyfromGoa.WewereinB.V.B.CollegeofEngineeringatHubli.Hehadbeenmyclassmateandlabpartnerthroughoutourcourse.SoIknewhimfairlywell.Portadohadpeculiarhabits.Thoughhewasintelligent,hewasextremelylazy.

Ourtheoryclasseswerefromeightinthemorningtillnoonandlabwasfromtwotofiveintheafternoon.Portadonevercameforthefirstclassateight.Occasionally,heturnedupforthesecondorthirdhourbutmostofthetimeheonlyshowedupforthelasthour.Henevermissedourlabsessions,however.Inthosedays,attendancewasnotcompulsoryincollegeandourteachers

wereverylenient.TheyrequestedPortadotocomeontimebutsincetherewasnointernalassessment,theycouldn’treallyexercisetheirauthority.Oneday,IaskedPortado,‘Whyareyoualwayslate?Whatdoyoudoat

home?’Helaughedandsaid,‘Ihavealotofthingstodo.Iamsobusyintheevenings

thatIcan’tgetupbeforenineinthemorning.’‘Whatthingskeepyousobusy?’’Iaskedhiminnocently.‘Imeetmyfriendsatnight.Wehavelongchatsfollowedbydinner.You

know,ittakesalotoftimetobuildfriendships.Youwillnotunderstand.Youpeopleareallnerds.Youonlycometocollegetostudy.’

‘Portado,youareastudent.Youshouldstudy,getknowledge,learnskillsandworkhard.Isthatnotimportant?’‘Oh,please.Youremindmeofmymother.Don’tgivemeasermon.Lifeis

long.Wehaveplentyoftime.Weshouldnotlearnanythinginahurry.Weshouldn’tbesostingyabouttimeeither.’ThenInoticedthathedidnotevenhaveawatchsince,forobviousreasons,

hehadnoneedforit.Portadocontinued,‘Inlife,youneedconnectionsandnetworking.Thatcan

giveyousuccess.Youcan’tnetworkinaday.Youhavetospendtimeandmoneyonbuildinganetwork.Whoknows?SomepeoplethatImeetnowmaymakeitbigtomorrowandthenthatconnectionwillworkforme.’Iwasayounggirlfromamiddle-classandacademic-mindedfamily.I

believedonlyinhardwork.Ineverunderstoodhownetworkingcouldhelp.Duringourcollegebreaks,Portadowouldproudlytellusabouthischildhood:

‘Oh,whenIwasyoung,IspentmytimeinbigcitieslikeBombay,DelhiandCalcutta.InCalcutta,therearesomanyclubs.Itisamatterofprestigetobeamemberofaclub.WhenIstartworking,Iwanttobeamemberofallthegoodclubsinthecity.’Everynowandthen,PortadofeltthatHubliwasasmallandboringtown.SoheregularlywenttoBelgaumtomeethisfriendsand‘network’withthem.Duringexams,Portadoworkedlikeadonkey.Heglass-tracedmostofmy

originaldrawingssothathedidnothavetothinkaboutthesolutionstoengineeringproblemshimself.Hisglass-tracedrawingsweredefinitelybetterthantheoriginalsbecausetheywereneaterandtherewerenowrinklesorpencilmarks.Healwaysgotmorethanmeindrawings.Heevenkeptthequestionpapersofpreviousyearsandmadehisownquestionpapersbyprocessofelimination.Insteadofreadingtextbooks,hereadguidestopasstheexams.Withallthis,healwaysmanagedtopassinsecondclass.Once,theexaminercaughthimbecauseinasurveydrawinghetoldthe

examinerthatthemarkonhisdrawingwasactuallyabigtreeinthemiddleofaroad.ItwasasurveyofatownnearDharwad.Unfortunately,theexaminerhappenedtobefromthattownandheknewthattherewasnotreeonthatroad.HequestionedPortado,whosaidwithaseriousface,‘Sir,Ihavedonethesurveymyself.Isatbelowthetree,hadmylunchandthenIcontinued.’

Calmly,theexaminersaid,‘Ican’tseethistreeinanyofyourclassmates’originaldrawings.Thisisonlyamosquitobetweentheglassandthedrawingthatyouhavetriedtocoverup.’Portadojustmanagedtopasstheexamsthatyear.Buthewasnotperturbed.

Hesaid,‘Iamnotscaredoftheexamsorthemarks.Today’snerdswillbetomorrow’smid-levelmanagers.Apersonwithgoodnetworkingwillbetheirboss.’Becauseofhisattitudeandundisciplinedhabits,eventhecollegehostel

refusedtokeephim.Soherentedasmallhousenearcollegeandlivedtherelikeaking.Once,ourclassplannedapicnictriptoBelgaum.SincePortadowasfamiliar

withthecity,wedecidedtotakehisopinionandhelp.Thepicniccommitteemembers,includingmyself,wenttohishousearoundelevenonaSundaymorning.WeallassumedthatPortadowouldbeawake.Buttooursurprise,hewasstillinbed.Whenheopenedthedoor,hesaidsleepily,‘Oh,whyhaveyoucomesoearlyonaSunday?’Hewasquiteannoyedtoseeus.‘Well,Iamawakenow,sopleasecomein.’Wewentinbuttherewasabsolutelynoplacetosit.Hisclotheswereallover

theroomandnewspaperswerescatteredonthefloor.Inthekitchen,dirtydisheswerepiledupinthesinkandtheywerestinking.Therewerefishboneseverywhere.Therewasalsoacatandadoginsidethehouse.TheywerewellfedwithPortado’sleftovers.Thewindowswerenotopeneither.Thebedsheetlookedlikeithadnotbeenchangedforayear.Ididnothavethecouragetogoseehisbathroom.Portadofeltneitherperturbednorguilty.Hesaid,‘Makesomespacefor

yourselvesandsitdown.’SomepeoplemovedPortado’sundergarmentsandmadesomespacebutIcouldnotdothatbecauseIwasagirl,soIsimplystood.Portadobroughtastoolformefromhiskitchen.Itwasverysticky.Iwasevenmorehesitanttositonitthanonhisclothes.Itoldhim,‘ItisbetterthatIstand.’Portadoofferedusteabutnoneofushadthegutstodrinkany.WhenIaskedhimaboutplanningthedetailsofthepicnic,hesaid,‘Wecan

startattwelveintheafternoon.MyfriendownsalodgesoIcantakeyouthere.Thenextday,wecangotoAmboliFalls.ThenwecanalsogotoGoa.’Portadomadeaten-dayprogramme.Butmostofuscouldnotaffordaten-day

accommodationinahotel,norcouldweskipclassforsomanydays.Sotheplanfizzledout.Wethankedhimandleft.WhenIturnedbackandlooked,Portadohadclosedthedoorandprobablygonebacktobed.Soonthefinalyearcamearound.Weallpassedtheexaminationsandparted

ways.Someofusfeltsadbecausewehadbecomeabigfamilyinthelastfouryearstogether.Wedidnotknowourdestinationsandknewthatwemaynotmeetagain.Ofcourse,asPortadosaidgoodbyehetoldus,‘IfyouareeverinGoa,pleasecometomyhouse.’ButIseriouslydoubtedthatIwouldeverrunintohimagain.Manydecadespassed.Once,IwenttoDubaitogivealecture.Afterthe

lecture,peoplecameuptotalktomebuttherewasonepersonwhowaiteduntileverybodyhadleft.ThenhewalkedovertowhereIwassittingandsmiled.IrecognizedthesmilebutIdidnotrememberwhereIhadseenhim.Themanwasbald,fat,hadabigpaunchandwasdressedveryordinarily.Ithoughtthathemightbeamid-levelmanagerinaconstructioncompany.Imeetmanypeopleinmyfieldanditisdifficulttoremembereverybody.Iaskedhim,‘WhatcanIdoforyou,sir?Areyouwaitingforme?’Withacrackedvoice,hesaid,‘Yes,Ihavebeenwaitingforyouforalong

time.’‘Oh,I’msorry,Ididn’tknowthatyouwerewaiting.Doyouhaveanywork

withme?’Isaid.‘Yes,IjustwantedtotellyouthatyouwererightandIwaswrong.’Iwaspuzzled.Whatdidhemean?Ihadneverevenmethimbefore.Ihardly

cametoDubaisincewedidnotevenhaveanofficethere.‘Ididn’tgetyourname,sir.MayIknowyourname,please?’Iasked.Hislaughwasbittersweet.Hesaid,‘IamPortado,yourclassmate.’Iwasveryhappytoseehimandshookhishand.‘Oh,Portado,Iamseeing

youafterthirty-fiveyears!IthasbeensolongthatIdidn’trecognizeyou.Physically,bothofushavechangedsomuch.Itisnicetomeetyou.Stayback.Ifyouarehere,comefordinnertonight.Iwanttocatchup,’Isaid.Sadly,Portadosaid,‘Sorry,Idon’thavemuchtime.Iaminthenightshift.

ButIcanhaveacupofteawithyou.’WewenttothehotelrestaurantandIorderedacupofteaforhimandjuicefor

myself.Iwantedtotalkmore.Istartedtheconversationwithgreatenthusiasm

andcouldnotholdmyquestionsback.‘Portado,whereareyouworkingnow?HowlonghaveyoubeeninDubai?Areyoumarried?Howmanychildrendoyouhave?Bytheway,howareyournetworkingfriends?DoyouevercometoIndia?’Portadostoppedme.‘Iknowyourworkinvolvescomputersbutminedoes

not.Youaretoofastforme.Justlikeacomputer.ButIaminconstruction.SobearwithmesinceIamslow.IhavebeeninDubaiforthelastfiveyears.Beforethat,IwasinIndiainseveralsmallplacesindifferentcompanies.Ofcourse,Iammarried.Ihavetwodaughters.’Iinterruptedhim.‘Youcouldhavebroughtthemtoday.Iwouldhavelikedto

meetthem.’‘Sorry,Ican’tbringthembecausetheyarenothere.Iaminthelowerlevelof

management.SoIcannotaffordtobringmyfamilyhere.MytwodaughtersarestudyinginIndiaandaredoingengineering.Ican’tevenaffordtheireducationinthisplace.’Ididnotknowwhattosay.IhadneverimaginedPortadowouldenduplike

this.Nowitwashisturntotalk.‘Doyouremember,whenIwasincollege,Iused

tomakefunofallofyou?Ispentallmytimeinnetworking.AfterIfinishedengineering,Ididn’tgetagoodjob.Thereasonwasveryobvious.Ididnothavetheknowledgeortheabilitytoworkhard.Ilookeddownuponthetwoqualitiesthatarethesteppingstonestosuccess.IknewthatIwantedtogoupandreachthetopspotinacompanybutnoonecanjustflythere.IknewwhatpositionIshouldbeinbutIdidnotknowtheroute.Ithoughtthatachangeofjobwouldhelp,butinsteaditreducedmyvalueinthemarket.Noneofmynetworkingfriendshelpedme.Theydroppedmelikeahotpotato.TheythoughtthatIwasclingingontothemlikeaparasite.Someofthemwerelikemeandalsolookingforjobs.IalwaysthoughtthatIwouldcomeupwithsomeone’shelp.IneverthoughtthatIshouldtakemyownhelp.NowIamold.Iamtryingtolearnnewthingsandmakeupforlosttime.Butitisnoteasy.Themarkethasbecomeextremelycompetitive.Youngstersincollegehavemoreknowledgeandquickness.Theyalsohavetimeontheirside.Ihavetoldmydaughters,youshouldstudy,getknowledge,learnskillsandworkhard.’Portadocontinued,‘Doyourememberwhosaidthistome?Itwasyou.’

Helookedathiswatchandsaid,‘Mytimeisup.Imustleave.’Iwishedhimallthebest.Hewalkedafewsteps,thencamebackandsaid,‘Thatday,Icalledyoua

nerd.Today,Icallyousmart.’Andheleft.

6

ALifeUnwritten

Itwastheyear1943.MyfatherwasayoungmedicaldoctorpostedatasmalldispensaryinavillageknownasChandagad,locatedontheborderofthetwostatesofMaharashtraandKarnataka.Itrainedcontinuouslyforeightmonthsthereandtheonlyactivityduringtheremainingfourmonthswastreecutting.Itwasalesser-knownandthinlypopulatedvillagesurroundedbyathickandenormousforest.SinceBritishofficerscametohuntinthejungle,asmallclinicwassetuptherefortheirconvenience.Noneofthevillagerswenttherebecausetheypreferredusingthelocalmedicinesandplants.Sotherewasnobodyintheclinicexceptmyfather.Withinaweekofhistransferthere,myfatherstartedgettingbored.Hewas

uprootedfromthelivelycityofPunetothisslowandsilentvillagewherethereseemedtobenopeopleatall!Hehadnocontactwiththeoutsideworld—hisonlycompanionwasthecalendaronthewall.Sometimes,hewouldgoforawalkoutsidebutwhenheheardtheroarofthetigersinthejunglenearby,hewouldgetscaredandwalkbacktotheclinicasfastashecould.Itwasnowonderthenthathewastooafraidtostepoutatnightbecauseofthesnakesthatwereoftenseenslitheringontheground.Onewintermorning,heheardheavybreathingoutsidehismaindoorand

bravelydecidedtopeepthroughthewindow.Hesawatigressstretchingandyawningintheverandawithhercubsbyherside.Paralysedwithfear,myfather

didnotopenthedoortheentireday.Onanotherday,heopenedthewindowonlytofindsnakeshangingfromtheroofinfrontofhishouse—almostlikeropes.Myfatherwonderedifhewastransferredtothevillageasaformof

punishmentforsomethinghemayhavedone.Buttherewasnothingthathecoulddotochangethesituation.Onenight,hefinishedanearlydinnerandbeganreadingabookbythelight

ofakerosenelamp.Itwasrainingheavilyoutside.Suddenly,heheardaknockonthedoor.‘Whocoulditbe?’hewondered.Whenheopenedit,hesawfourmenwrappedinwoollenrugswithsticksin

theirhands.TheysaidtohiminMarathi,‘DoctorSahib,takeyourbagandcomewithusimmediately.’MyfatherbarelyunderstoodtheirrusticMarathi.Heprotested.‘Buttheclinic

isclosed,andlookatthetime!’Themenwereinnomoodtolisten—theypushedhimandloudlydemanded

thatheaccompanythem.Quietly,myfatherpickeduphisbagandfollowedthemlikealambtothebullockcartwaitingforthem.Thepouringrainandthemoonlessnightdisorientedhimandwhilehedidn’tknowwheretheyweretakinghim,hesensedthatthedrivemighttakesometime.Usingallthecouragehehadleft,heasked,‘Whereareyoutakingme?’Therewasnoreply.Itwasafewhoursbeforetheyreachedtheirdestinationandthebullockcart

cametoacompletehalt.Bythelightofakerosenelamp,somebodyescortedthem.Myfathernoticedthepaddyfieldsaroundhimandinthemiddleofitall,hesawahouse.Theminutehesetfootinthehouse,afemalevoicesaid,‘Come,come.Thepatientishereinthisroom.’Forthefirsttimesincehehadcometothevillage,myfatherfeltthathecould

finallyputhismedicalexpertisetogooduse.Thepatientwasayounggirl,approximatelysixteenyearsold.Anoldladywasstandingnearthegirlwhowasobviouslyinlabour.Myfatherturnedpale.Hewentbacktotheotherroomandtoldherfamily,‘Look,Ihaven’tbeentrainedindeliveringababyandIamamaledoctor.Youmustcallsomeoneelse.’Butthefamilyrefusedtolisten.‘That’snotanoption.Youmustdowhat

needstobedoneandwewillpayyouhandsomely,’theyinsisted.‘Thebabymaybedeliveredaliveordeadbutthegirlmustbesaved.’

Myfatherpleadedwiththem.‘Please,Iamnotinterestedinthemoney.Letmegonow.’Themencameclose,shovedhiminsidethepatient’sroomandlockedthe

doorfromoutside.Myfatherbecameafraid.Heknewhehadnochoice.Hehadobservedandassistedinafewdeliveriesundertheguidanceofhismedicalcollegeprofessors,butnothingmore.Nervously,hestartedrecallinghislimitedpastexperienceandtheoreticalknowledgeashismedicalinstinctskickedin.Therewasnotableintheroom.Sohesignalledtheoldlady,whoappearedto

bedeafanddumb,tohelphimsetupamakeshifttablewiththesacksofpaddygrainsaroundthem.Thenmyfatherextractedarubbersheetfromhisbagandlaiditoutneatlyontopofthesacks.Heaskedthegirltoliedownonitandinstructedtheoldladytoboilwaterand

sterilizehisinstruments.Bythen,thecontractionhadpassed.Thegirlwassweatingprofuselyandthedoctorevenmore.Shelookedathimwithbig,innocent,tearyeyesandslowlybegan,‘Don’tsaveme.Idon’twanttomakeitthroughthenight.’‘Whoareyou?’‘Iamthedaughterofabigzamindarhere,’shesaidinasoftvoice.Therain

outsidemadeithardforhimtohearher.‘Sincetherewasnohighschoolinourvillage,myparentsletmestudyinadistanttown.There,Ifellinlovewithoneofmyclassmates.Atfirst,Ididn’tknowthatIwaspregnant,butonceIfoundout,Itoldthebaby’sfatherwhoimmediatelyranaway.Bythetimemyparentslearntofwhathadhappened,itwastoolatetodoanything.That’swhytheysentmeheretothisgodforsakenplacewherenobodywouldfindout.’Shestoppedasastrongcontractionhither.Afterafewminutes,shesaid,‘Doctor,Iamsurethatoncethebabyisborn,

myfamilywillkillthechildandbeatmeviolently.’Thenshegrabbedmyfather’sarmsasmoretearsgatheredinhereyes.‘Pleasedon’ttrytosavethebabyorme.Justleavemealonehereandletmedie.That’sallIwant.’Atfirst,myfatherdidn’tknowhowtorespond.Thenhesaidtoherasgently

ashecould,‘IamadoctorandIcan’tletapatientdiewhenIknowthatIcandosomethingtosavehimorher.Youmustn’tdiscouragemefromdoingmyduty.’Thegirlfellsilent.

Thelabourwashard,scaryandlongandfinally,myfathermanagedtodeliverthebabysuccessfullywiththeassistanceoftheoldlady.Theyounggirlwasexhaustedandsweatyattheendoftheordeal.Sheclosedhereyesindespairanddidn’tevenasktoseethebaby.Hesitantly,sheasked,‘Isitaboyoragirl?’‘It’sagirl,’repliedmyfather,whiletryingtocheckthebaby’svitals.‘OhmyGod!It’sagirl!’shecried.‘Herlifewillbejustlikemine—underthe

cruelpressureofthemeninthefamily.Andshedoesn’tevenhaveafather!’Shebegansobbingloudly.Butmyfatherwasbusywiththebabyandbarelyheardher.Suddenly,thegirlrealizedthatsomethingwaswrong,‘Doctor,whyisn’tthe

babycrying?’Whenshedidn’tgetareply,shecontinued,‘Iwillbehappyifshedoesn’tsurvive.Shewillbesparedfromacursedlife.’Myfatherheldthebabyupsidedown,gentlyslappedherand,instantly,the

baby’sstrongcriesfilledtheroom.Whenthemenoutsideheardthebabycry,theyopenedthedoorandinstructedhim,‘Doctor,getreadytoleave.Wewilldropyouback.’Myfathercleaneduphispatient,gatheredhisinstrumentsandpackedhisbag.

Theoldladybegancleaningtheroom.Helookedatthetroubledyounggirlandsaid,‘Takethebabyandrunawayfromthisplaceifyoucanfinditinyourhearttodoso.GotoPuneandlookforPuneNursingSchool.FindaclerktherecalledGokhaleandtellhimthatRHhassentyou.Hewillhelpyougetadmissioninanursingcourse.Intime,youwillbecomeanurseandleadanindependentlife,withtheabilitytotakecareofyourownneeds.Raiseyourdaughterwithpride.Don’tyoudareleaveherbehindorelseshewillendupsufferinglikeyou.That’smymostsincereadviceforyou.’‘But,doctor,howwillIgotoPune?Idon’tevenknowwhereitis!’‘GotothenearestcityofBelgaumandthenfromthere,youcantakeabusto

Pune.’Myfathersaidgoodbyetoherandcameoutoftheroom.Anoldmanhandedhimonehundredrupees.‘Doctor,thisisyourfeefor

helpingthegirlwiththedelivery.Iwarnyou—don’tsayawordaboutwhathappenedheretoday.Ifyoudo,Iwilllearnofitandyourheadwillnolongerbeattachedtotherestofyourbody.’

Myfathernodded,suddenlyovertakenbyasenseofcalm.‘I’msorry,’hesaid.‘IthinkIforgotmyscissorsintheroom.Iwillneedittomorrowattheclinic.’Heturnedaroundandwentbackinsideandsawtheyounggirlgazingatthe

sleepingnewbornwithtearsinhereyes.Whentheoldlady’sbackwasturnedtowardshim,myfatherhandedoverthemoneytothegirl.‘ThisisallIhavewithmerightnow,’hesaid.‘UseitanddowhatIhavetoldyou.’‘Doctor,whatisyourname?’sheasked.‘MynameisDrR.H.Kulkarni,butalmosteveryonecallsmeRH.Bebrave,

child.Goodbyeandgoodluck.’Myfatherlefttheroomandthehouse.Thereturnjourneywasequallyrough

andhefinallyreachedhomeatdawn.Hewasdeadtiredandsoon,sleeptookover.Thenextmorning,hismindwanderedbacktohisfirstpatientinthevillageandhisfirstearning.Hebecameawareofhisshortcomingsandwishedhewasbetterqualifiedingynaecology.However,hiscurrentshortageoffundsmadehimpostponethedreamforanotherday.Afewmonthslater,hegotmarriedandsharedhisdreamofbecominga

gynaecologistwithhiswife.Timepassedquickly.HewastransferredtodifferentplacesinMaharashtra

andKarnatakaandhadfourchildrenalongtheway.Bythetimeheturnedforty-two,thecouplehadcarefullysavedenoughmoneyforfurthereducationandmyfatherdecidedtopursuehisdesire.SohelefthisfamilyinHubliandjoinedEgmoreMedicalCollegeinChennai,andfulfilledhisdreamofbecomingagynaecologistsurgeon.Hewasoneoftheraremalegynaecologistsatthetime.HewentbacktoHubliandstartedworkingattheKarnatakaMedicalCollege

asaprofessor.Hissympatheticmannertowardstheunderprivilegedandhisgenuineconcernforthewomenandgirlshetreatedmadehimquitepopular—bothasadoctorandasateacher.Thesameconcernreflectedinhisliberalattitudetowardshisdaughtersandheallowedthemtopursuetheirchosenfieldsofeducation,whichwasunheardofinthosedays.Myfatherwasanatheist.‘Goddoesn’tresideinachurch,mosqueortemple,’

hewouldoftensay.‘Iseehiminallmypatients.Ifawomandiesduringchildbirth,thenitisthelossofonepatientforadoctorbutforthatchild,itisthelifelonglossofamother.Andtellme,whocanreplaceamother?’

Despitehisretirement,myfather’sloveforlearningdidnotdiminishandheremainedactive.Oneday,hewentforamedicalconferencetoanothercity.There,hemeta

youngwomaninherthirties.Shewaspresentingcasesfromherexperienceintheruralareas.Myfatherfoundherworkinterestingandwenttotellhersoafterthepresentation.‘Doctor,yourresearchisexcellent.Iamquiteimpressedbyyourwork,’hesaid.‘Thankyou,’shesaid.Justthen,someonecalledouttomyfather,‘RH,wearewaitingforyouto

grabsomelunch.Willyoutakelong?’Theyoungwomanasked,‘Whatisyourname,doctor?’‘DrR.H.Kulkarni,orRH.’Afteramomentofsilence,sheasked,‘WereyouinChandagadin1943?’‘Yes.’‘Doctor,Iliveinavillagearoundfortykilometresawayfromhere.MayI

requestyoutocomehomerightnowforabriefvisit?’Myfatherwasunpreparedforsuchaninvitation.Whywasshecallinghimto

herhouse?‘Maybesomeothertime,doctor,’hereplied,hopingtoendthematter.Butthewomanwaspersistent.‘Youmustcome.Please.Thinkofthisasa

requestfromsomeonewhohasbeenwaitingforyouforyearsnow.’Myfatherwaspuzzledbyherenigmaticanswerandstillrefused,butshe

pleadedwithhim.Therewassomethinginhereyes—somethingsodesperate—thatintheend,hegaveinandaccompaniedhertothevillage.Onthewaytothevillage,bothofthemexchangedideasandshespoke

animatedlyaboutherworkandherfindings.Asthetwoofthemapproachedherresidence,myfatherrealizedthatthehousewasalsoanursinghome.Hewalkedinthroughthefrontdoorandsawaladyinherfiftiesstandinginthelivingroom.Theyoungwomannexttohimsaid,‘Ma,thisisDrRH.Ishetheoneyou

havebeenwaitingforalltheseyears?’Thewomancameforward,bentdownandtouchedherforeheadtomyfather’s

feet.Hefelthisfeetgettingwetfromhertears.Itwasstrange.Whowerethese

women?Myfatherdidn’tknowwhattodo.Hequicklybentforward,placedhishandsontheolderwoman’sshouldersandpulledherup.‘Doctor,youmaynotremembermebutIcanneverforgetyou.Minemust

havebeenyourfirstdelivery.’Still,myfathercouldn’trecognizeher.‘Alongtimeago,youlivedinavillageontheborderofMaharashtraand

Karnataka.Onenight,therewasaheavydownpourandyouhelpedme—ayoung,unmarriedgirlthen—throughchildbirth.Therewasnodeliverytableintheroom,soyouconvertedstacksofpaddysacksintoamakeshifttable.Manyhourslater,Igavebirthtoadaughter.’Inaflash,thememoriescamefloodingbackandmyfatherrecollectedthat

night.‘OfcourseIrememberyou!’hesaid.‘ItwasthemiddleofthenightandIurgedyoutogotoPunewithyournewborn.IthinkIwasasscaredasyou!’‘Yougavemeahundredrupees,whichiswhatmyfamilypaidyouforthe

delivery.Itwasabigamountinthosedaysandstill,youhandeditallovertome.’‘Yes,mymonthlysalarywasseventy-fiverupeesthen!’addedmyfatherwith

asmile.‘YoutoldmeyourlastnamebutIcouldn’thearitbecauseofthedeafening

soundoftherain.Itookyouradvice,wenttoPune,foundyourfriendGokhaleandbecameanurse.Itwasvery,veryhard,butIwasabletoraisemydaughteronmyown.Aftersuchaterribleexperience,Iwantedmydaughtertobecomeagynaecologist.Luckily,shesharedmydreamtoo.Today,sheisadoctorandisalsomarriedtooneandtheypractisehere.Atonepoint,Ispentmonthssearchingforyoubutwithnoluck.ThenweheardthatyouhadmovedtoKarnatakaafterthereorganizationofthestatedepartmentsin1956.Meanwhile,GokhalealsopassedawayandIlostallhopeofeverfindingyou.IprayedtoGodtogivemeachancetomeetyouandthankyouforshowingmetherightpathattherighttime.’MyfatherfeltlikehewasinaBollywoodmovieandwasenchantedbythe

unexplainedmysteryoflife.Afewkindwordsandencouragementhadchangedayounggirl’slife.Sheclaspedherhandstogether.‘Wearesogratefultoyou,doctor.My

daughterwantedtocallyoufortheinaugurationofthenursinghomehereand

wewereverydisappointedatnotbeingabletoreachyouthen.Timehaspassedandnowthenursinghomeisdoingverywell.’Myfatherwipedhismoisteyesandlookedaroundtoseethenameofthe

nursinghome.Helookedtotherightandfoundhimselfstaringatit—R.H.Diagnostic.

7

TheLineofSeparation

DuringmytriptoPakistan,Iwaspartofalargegroup.Eachpersoninthegroupwaskeentovisitoneplaceortheotherinthatcountry.SomewantedtoseeTakshila,othersLahore,IslamabadorKarachi.Oneday,wewerehavingadiscussionaboutthisandeveryonewasvoicinghisorheropinionloudly.InoticedonlyMrsRoopaKapoorwassittingquietly.Shewasaseventy-five-year-oldladyfromChennaianddidnotspeakmuchunlessspokento.SoIaskediftherewasanyplaceshewantedtovisit.Withoutanyhesitation,shesaid,‘IhavetovisitPindi.’‘WhereisPindi?Isitsomesmalltownorvillage?Idon’tthinkwewillhave

thetimetomakeadetourlikethatfromourpackeditinerary.’Roopasmiledatmyignoranceandsaid,‘ImeantRawalpindi.ItiscalledPindiforshortbythosewhostaythere.’Iwasintrigued.‘Howdoyouknow?Haveyoueverstayedthere?’‘Iwasbornandbroughtupthere,’shereplied,andthenslowlyshetoldmethe

storyofherlife.ShehadstayedinRawalpinditilltheageofnineteen,whenshegotmarried

andsettleddowninChennai.NowChennaiwasherhomeandshecouldspeakTamilandmakeexcellentTamildishes,likepuliyogareandrasam,aswellasanynatural-bornTamilian.Butshehadalwaysyearnedtocomebackandseeherchildhoodhomeifsheevergotthechance.

SoonwereachedIslamabadandIwassurprisedtofinditsurroundedbymountains,ascoolasahillstation.Roopasawmysurpriseandsaid,‘Islamabadisanewcity.Rawalpindiisasistercity,butitisolder.IslamabadwasbuiltafterthePartitionwithwideroads,shoppingcentresandrosegardens.Pindiisonlytwenty-oddkilometresawayfromIslamabad.’Bynowthesoft-spoken,introvertedMrsKapoorhadbecomequitegarrulous.Therewasasparkinhereyesandshespokenon-stop.ManyofuswantedtoseeIslamabadfirst,butsheinsistedongoingontoRawalpindi.SheneededacompanionforthetripandIvolunteeredtogowithher.Shewas

nowquiteexcited,andtoldme,‘IwanttoseethehouseIleftfifty-sevenyearsago.’‘That’sagoodidea,’Isaid.ThenIrememberedthelovelybouquetofflowers

IhadbeenpresentedonlandingatIslamabadwhichIwasstillcarrying.‘Iwillpresentthistowhoeverisstayinginyourhousenow.’Shewastouched.AsthecarleftIslamabadairportbehind,MrsKapoorstartedpointingoutthe

sightstomelikeatourguide.Sheshowedmeanoldbuildingontheleftsideoftheroadinacrowdedareaandsaid,‘Thatusedtobeanelectricalgoodsmanufacturingfactory.Itsowner,KewalRamSahani,wasmyfather’sfriend.MyfriendsandIwouldcometothishouseforLakshmipujaduringDiwali.’Itoldthedrivertoslowdownalittlesothatshecouldcherishthejourney.The

carpassedSadarBazarandlookingatanoldbuildingwithmanyshops,shesaid,‘Heremyfather’scousinRatanSethiownedajewelleryshopalongwithhispartnerMaqboolKhan.ItwasknownasKhanandSethi.Myweddingjewellerywasmadehere.’Shecontinuedpointingoutvariousbuildings,eachholdingsomefond

memoryforher.Butmanyatimethebuildingsshewaslookingforhadchangedtonewskyscrapersandshegotdisoriented.Suddenlythecarstopped.Atyrewaspunctured,andthedriversaiditwouldtakehimawhiletofixit.Roopawasrestless.Shedidnotwanttowaitevenaminutemorethanrequired.Soshesaid,‘Youchangethetyre.InthemeantimeIwillgoandvisitsomeoftheoldplaces.Wewilljoinyouatthenextmainroad.Togotothemainroad,youtakealeftturnandthefirstrightturn.Youwaitforusthere.’

ShebehavedasifshekneweveryinchofthatareaandIfollowedherquietly.Wewalkedintoasmalllane.Sheexplained,‘IhavebeenheremanytimeswithmyfriendsFatimaandNoor.ThisusedtobeknownasTailor’sRoad.MyneighbourMehboobKhan’swifeMehrunnisaChachiwasanexpertindesigningnewembroiderypatterns.Weusedtocomeandgivethedesigns.Come,wewilltakeashortcut...Thatiswheremyunclelived.’Bynowshewastalkingmoretoherselfandmakingherwaywithease

throughthenarrowlanes.Wewenttothenextroad.Therewereoldhousesontheroadandshewentintothefirsthugebungalow.Shesaid,‘ThiswasmyuncleMotiramRai’shouseandthenexthousewasthatofAllahBaksh.Theyweregreatfriendsandlovedeachother.IstillrememberwheneverAllahBakshChachaplantedatreeinhishouse,myunclewouldplantthesame.ThismangotreeherewasplantedonaBasantPanchamiday.Therewassomuchofjoyinbothhouses.MygrandmotherpreparedkheerandsentmetoAllahBaksh’shousewithajugfullofit.WhileIwascarryingthatjug,Ibumpedintoayoungmanandthehotkheerfellonhisfeet.Iwassoscaredandembarrassed.’‘Didyouknowhim?’‘Notthenbutlater.Imarriedhim!’Shethenlookedupatthetreeandsaid,‘Thishasbecomesooldnow.’Wewalkedinthroughthegate.TherewasnoonearoundandIwasafraidwe

wouldbestoppedbysomeonefortrespassing.ButRoopawasleastbothered.Itwasasifshewasinaworldofherown.ShewalkedtothebackyardwhileIstoodhesitatinginthefront.Acouplewalkedinandwerevisiblysurprisedtoseeastrangerstandingintheirgarden,thattooinasari.ItwasalsojustthenthatInoticedaboardhanginginfrontofthedoor.Itsaid‘DrSalimandDrSalma:Dentist’.Istartedapologizingandexplainedthesituationtothem.Theirfaceslostthe

lookofsuspicionassoonasIfinishedmystory.Roopawasstilllookingatallthetreesandrememberingherchildhood.Thecouplewelcomeduscourteously.‘Pleasesitdown.Dojoinusforacupoftea.’Theypulleduptwochairs.BynowIwasfeelingveryawkward,disturbingtheminthemorning.ButDr

Salimsaid,‘Pleasesit.Wearegladyoucame.OurgrandparentstoowerefromSuratinGujarat.TheyemigratedtoPakistanandIwasbornandbroughtup

here.MyparentstalkwithgreatnostalgiaaboutSuratifarsan,Parsidhansakandkhakra.’JusttomakeconversationIsaid,‘Itmustbedifficultmaintainingsuchalarge

bungalownow.’DrSalimreplied,‘Wemovedtothishousesomeyearsback.Yousee,this

househappenstoresembletheonemyparentslivedininSurat,andtheymademepromisethatIwouldnotbreakitandmakeapartmentsaslongasIstayedhere.Allahhasbeenkindtousandwedon’tneedthemoney.OurneighbourAllahBaksh’schildrensoldtheirpropertylongbackandnowthereisacommercialcomplex.’BythenRoopahadfinishedwanderinginthegardenandIformally

introducedhertothecouple.Sheaskedifshecouldseethehousefromtheinside.DrSalimagreedhappily.‘Afterwepurchasedthishousetenyearsagowemadeveryfewmodifications.Itisperhapsinthesamestateasyoulastsawit,’hesaid.IwalkedinwithRoopa.Shelookedintothemainroomandsaid,‘Thiswas

wheremygrandfatherusedtositandcontrolthehouse.’ThenshepointedtoacolouredglassdoorandsaidAllahBaksh’swifehadpainteditforthem.‘Thatwasthewindowthroughwhichshewouldsenddryfruitstomyaunt’,‘Thatwaswhereweusedtoflykites.’Everybrick,everywallheldamemoryforher.FinallyIremindedherthatitwastimeweleft.Wewalkedbacktothegardenandsaidourgoodbyestothecouple.DrSalimhandedusapacket.‘Thereisnotimeforyoutoeat,butIcannotsendtwoeldersawaywithoutofferinganything.PleasetakethisandifGodiswillingwewillmeetagain.’Wecameoutofthehouseandwhenwereachedthemainroadthecarwas

there,havingfollowedRoopa’sdirections.Nowshewantedtoseeherownhouse.Shetoldthedriver,‘Takearightturnfromthechauraha.Iknowtheway.The

firstbuildingontherightsideisAl-AmeenSchoolforgirlsandalittlefartherthereisaJesusandMaryconvent.Alittleaheadontheleftside,thereisagovernmentboys’school.NexttothatistheIdgahmaidan.Nexttothatisalanewithfivehugebungalows.Eachplotisanacreinsize.ThefirstonebelongedtoKewalRam.SecondtoMiaMehboobKhanandthethirdonetoSardarSupreetSingh.FourthonetoRaiSahibandthefifthwasours...’

Shetalkedonandthedriverfollowedherdirections.Shewasmostlyright.Yes,theredbrickbuildingontherightwastheAl-AmeenSchoolforgirls.TheJesusandMaryconventwasnowaLoyolaCollegeandthegovernmentboys’schoolhadbecomeadegreecollege.ButtheIdgahmaidanwasnotthere.Insteadtherewasashoppingcomplex.Thefivebeautifulbungalowsshedescribedwerealsomissing.Insteadtherewasamassofshops,hotelsandvideolibrariespilednexttoeachother.Roopabecameupset.‘Madam,areyousureitisthesameroad?’thedriveraskedpolitely.‘OfcourseIamsure.Iwasbornhere.Ispentnineteenyearshere.Youwere

notevenbornthen.HowcanImakeamistake?’Shetoldhimtostopthecarandgotofftosearch.Shewassurethehousewas

stilltherebehindthenewbuildings.Shewaspossessed,asifsearchingforalostchild,orapreciousjewel.‘Myhousewasyellowincolourandthereweretwostoreys.Ithadan

entrancefromtherightside.FrommyhouseIcouldseetheIdgahmaidan.Twoyearsbackafriendofminewhoalsostayedherecametoseetheplaceandshetoldmethehousewasstillverymuchhere.’Sheturnedtomeandcontinued,‘Youknow,onceIhadunknowinglywalked

onthewetcementfloorneartheentranceofthehouseandmyfootmarkstayedthereforever.MyfatherwantedtokeepitasareminderofmeafterIgotmarriedandwentaway.Icanrecognizemyhousewithoutanytrouble.’Buttherewasnohouseofthatdescriptioninthatarea,withthefootmarkintheentrance.Iknewbythistimethatthehousewasnotthere.ButRoopawasreluctanttoacceptit.Westoodinfrontofthebuildingwhereshesaidherhouseusedtobe.Itwasa

hotelandachowkidarwassittingattheentrance.Iaskedhim,‘Howoldisthishotel?’Hegotupandreplied,‘Itisonlyayearold.’‘Howlonghaveyoubeenworkinghere?’‘Eversincetheoldbuildingwasdemolishedandtheconstructionstarted.’Roopawasquietnow.‘Wasthereatwo-storeyedyellowbuildingherewiththeentranceontheright

andfootprintsalongtheportico?’‘Yes.TherewasabuildinglikethatbutIdon’trememberthefootprints.’

NowIknewthatRoopa’shousehadbeendemolishedtomakewayforthishotel.Ilookedatthechowkidarandtoldhim,‘Thatwasmyfriend’shouse.’‘Oh,pleasecomeinside.Sowhatifyourhouseisnotthere?Thehotelstands

onthesameland.Iamsuremyownerwillbehappytoreceiveyou.Haveacupofteaandasamosa.’IlookedatRoopabutshewasnotlisteningtoourconversation.Shetookahandfulofsoilfromthelittlepatchofgardeninfrontofthehotel

andsaid,‘Thisismyland.Thisismysoil.Myancestorsmadethistheirhome.Theywerebornandburnthere.Theland,thetrees,theair,thewater,everythingwasours.Weknewthecustoms,thecultureandthefood.Oneday,somepersondrewalineandcreatedtwonations.Andsuddenlywebecameforeignersinourownland.Wehadtoleaveandadoptsomeotherplacewhoselanguage,foodandculturewerealientous.Asinglelinemademeastrangertomyownland.Peoplewhohavebeenuprootedfeelaspecialpainwhichnooneelsecanunderstand.’Iwasquiet.Icouldonlyimagineheragony.Iheldherhandandsuddenly

realizedthatthebouquetofflowersIhadmeanttogivetotheownersofheroldhousewaslyingonthefrontseatofthecar,witheringslowlyintheDecembersunshine.

8

India,theHolyLand

MayawasasimpleyoungladywholivedintheTibetansettlementontheoutskirtsofMundugod,nearHubliinnorthKarnataka.SheusedtoteachtheTibetanlanguagetothechildreninthecamp,sotheywouldnotforgettheirroots.Shewassmartandhard-working.MyfatherwasadoctorworkinginHubliandheoccasionallyvisitedthat

settlement.IfanyoftheTibetanswantedfurthertreatment,theywouldvisitmyfatherattheGovernmentHospitalinHubli.Mayatoostartedvisitingmyfatherwhenshewasexpectingherfirstchild.Overthemonthsshebecamequitefriendlywithallofus.Whenevershecame

tothehospitalshewouldpayusavisittoo.Mymotherwouldinviteherforamealandwewouldspendsometimechatting.Inthebeginning,wewouldbeinaweofherandstareatheralmost-white

skin,doveeyes,thelittleflatnoseandhertwolong,thinplaits.Slowlyweacceptedherasafriendandshegraduatedtobecomemyknittingteacher.Hervisitsweresessionsofknitting,chattingandtalkingaboutherlifeinthecampandbackinhercountryforwhichshestillyearned.Mayawoulddescribeherhomelandtouswithgreataffection,nostalgiaand,attimes,withtearsinhereyes.‘Tibetansaresimplepeople.WeareallBuddhistsbutourBuddhismisofa

differentkind.ItiscalledVajrayana.There’sbeenalotofinfluencefromIndia,

particularlyBengal,onourcountryandreligiouspractices.EvenourscriptresemblesBengali.’HerwordsfilledmewithasenseofwonderaboutthisexoticlandcalledTibet

andIwouldpesterhertotellmemoreaboutthatcountry.OnedaywestartedtalkingabouttheDalaiLama.‘WhatisthemeaningofDalaiLama?’Iasked.‘Itmeans“oceanofknowledge”.Oursisauniquecountrywherereligious

headshaveruledfor500years.WebelieveinrebirthandthateachDalaiLamaisanincarnationofthepreviousone.ThepresentDalaiLamaisthefourteenth...Youknow,IndiaistheholylandofBuddha.Historically,wehavealwaysrespectedIndia.ThereisanicestoryabouthowBuddhismcametoTibetthroughIndia...’Icouldnotwaittohearaboutthis!‘LongagotherewasakinginTibetwhowaskidnappedbyhisenemies.They

demandedaransomofgold,equaltotheweightoftheking.Whentheimprisonedkingheardthis,hesomehowsentwordtohisson:“Don’twasteanygoldtogetmeback.Instead,spendthatmoneytobringgoodlearnedBuddhistmonksfromIndia.Withtheirhelp,openmanyschoolsandmonasteriessothatourpeoplecanliveinpeaceandgainknowledge.”’MonthspassedandMayadeliveredababy.Afterthatourmeetingsbecame

lessfrequent.ButshesucceededinawakeningwithinmeacuriosityaboutTibetandagreatrespectforBuddhism.RecentlyIgotachancetovisitTibetandmemoriesofMayafilledmymind.I

knewIwouldbeseeingaTibetfilledwiththeChinesebutneverthelessIwaskeentogo.AmongtheplacesIwantedtoseewasaBuddhatempleinYarlungValleythatshehaddescribedtome.WhenIfinallyreachedthevalley,itwaspastmidday.Therewasacoldwind

blowingthoughthesunwasshiningbrightly.TheBrahmaputrawasflowinglikeastreamhere,nothingliketheragingtorrentinAssam.Snow-cappedmountainscircledthevalleyandtherewasabsolutesilenceallaround.ThemonasteryatYarlungissupposedtobeafamouspilgrimagespot,butI

couldseeonlyahandfulofpeopleintheentireplace.AfterseeingeverythinginsideIsatdownonthestepsandobservedtheserenebeautyoftheplace.

Inoticedanoldwomanaccompaniedbyayoungmanwalkingintothemonastery.Thewomanwasveryold,herfacewaswrinkledandshewalkedslowlyandweakly.ShewaswearingthetraditionalTibetandressandherhairwasplaited.Theyoungmanontheotherhandwasdressedintheusualmodernmanner,intightjeansandabody-huggingT-shirt.Thewomanstartedcircumambulatingthemonasteryusingherstickforsupportwhilethemansatdownonthestepslikeme.Whenshefinished,Irealizedtheoldladywasstaringatme.Thenshesaid

somethingtotheyoungmaninTibetan.Shelookedtiredbytheendofherritualandsatdownonthesteps.Shesaidsomethingtohercompanionagainbuthetooklittlenoticeofher.Sosheslowlypickedupherstickandcametowardsme.Shesatdownnearme,tookmyhandsand,sayingsomething,gentlyraisedthemtohereyesandkissedthem.BeforeIcouldsayanything,shegotupandstartedtowalkaway.ButInoticedshewassmiling,asifshehadachievedalong-helddesire.Irealizedtherewasawetnesswherehereyeshadtouchedmyhand.Nowtheyoungboyreluctantlycameuptomeandapologized.‘Pleaseforgive

mygrandmother,’hesaid.‘SheisfromavillageintheinteriorpartofTibet.Shehasneverventuredoutofhervillage.ThisisthefirsttimeshehascometoYarlung.Ibegyourpardonforherbehaviour.’HewastalkingtomeinEnglishwithanIndianaccent.‘HowcomeyouspeakEnglishlikeus?’Iaskedinsurprise.‘MynameisKeTsang.IwasinIndiaforfiveyears.IstudiedatLoyola

CollegeinChennai.NowIrunarestaurantinLhasa.PeopleherelikeIndianfoodandmovies.Iaccompaniedmygrandmotherforherpilgrimage.Shewasthankingyou.’‘Butforwhat?Ihavenotdoneanythingforher!’‘Thatistrue,butyourcountryhas.IthasshelteredourDalaiLamaforso

manyyears.Heisalivinggodtous,particularlytotheoldergeneration.WeallrespecttheDalaiLama,butduetopoliticalreasons,wecannotexpressitinpublic.Youmighthaveseenthatthereisn’tasinglephotoofhisinanypublicplaceinthewholeofLhasa.Heisthefourteenth,butwehavepaintings,statuesandpicturesonlyuptothethirteenth.’Istilldidnotunderstandtheoldlady’sgesture.Thegrandsonexplained,‘She

said,“Iamanoldladyanddon’tknowhowlongIwilllive.IfIdon’tthankyou

beforeIdie,Iwillneverattainpeace.Letanyonepunishmeforthis,itdoesnotmatter.ItisagiftthatImetanIndiantodayandwasabletothankyouforshelteringourDalaiLama.Yoursistrulyacompassionateland.”’HerwordseerilyechoedMaya’sfrommanyyearsback.Icouldonlylook

downatthewetspotonmyhandandsmile.

9

BondedbyBisleri

The26JanuaryhorrorofKutchinGujaratiswellknown.Withoutanywarning,MotherEarthopenedhermouthandengulfedthepeopleandtheirbelongings.Overnight,richpeoplewerereducedtothestreets.ButthespiritoftheKutchipeopleisadmirable.Theyfacedthisdisasterbravelyandarestillfightingtorestorenormalcy.Themediahastobecongratulatedforitsroleinthereliefefforts.Within

hoursofthetragedy,allnewspapersandtelevisionchannelshadzoomedintocoverthedisasterandbroadcastitallovertheworld.AlongwithIndia,therestoftheworldparticipatedinhelpingtheseunfortunatepeople.AfteralltherushoftheTVcrewsandmediapeople,hordesofNGOsandgovernmentofficialslandedupinKutch.Peoplestartedpickinguptheirlifefromwheretheyhadleftit.Lifestartedtoreturntonormalataslowpace.Iwenttovisittheseareasaftersometime,whenthedustofpropagandahad

settleddown,inordertoseeactuallife.Afterall,theemotionshaddrainedoffandrealityhadbecomethepriority.SeveralsmallvillagesdeepinsideKutch,awayfromthemainroadconnecting

AhmedabadandBhuj,hadbeenbadlyaffectedbytheearthquake.Iwasvisitingtheseremoteplacesinthedeepinteriorwhenoneofthetyresofmyjeepwentflat.Gettingitfixedwouldtakesometime.Mydriverwenttogetthisdone.

Iwasaloneandbored.Isawafewtentsnearby.Theyweretemporaryshedscoveredwithblueplasticsheets.Theyweretemporaryhouses,schoolsandhealthcentresforthepeopleresidinginthatarea.Later,Iheardthatthereweretenthotelsaswell.Lifewasbusyandpeopleweregettingonwiththeirchores.Asitwas

monsoonseason,menandwomenwerebusyinthefields.Itwasverystrange.FormanyyearstherehadnotbeenmuchraininKutch,butthatyearithadrainedabundantly.Farmerswerehavingabumpercrop.Isupposenaturehasitsownmethodofjustice.Ontheonehandshetakesawaysomethingandontheothershegivessomethinginreturn.Smallchildrenwereplayinginthedusthappily.Ipeepedintooneofthenearbytents.Ayounggirl,aboutfourteenyearsold,

wascleaninggrainsandpreparingtocookameal.Whenshesawme,sherosewithasmileandsaid,‘Pleasecomeinandsitdown.’AsIwantedtoseehowtheylived,Ienteredtheshed.Shegavemeacharpoy

tositon.Insidethetentitwascleanandneat.Therewasathinpartitionmadeofanoldsari.IunderstoodfromherconversationthatherfamilywasnotfromKutch.Thegirlofferedmeaglassofwater.Thoughitwasthemonsoonseason,the

sunwashot,butIwasalittlehesitanttodrinkthewater.Manythoughtsflashedacrossmymind.Ifthewaterwasnotsterile,thenIwasatriskofcontractingdiseaseslikedysenteryandjaundice.IfIrefusedtoacceptthewater,however,IknewIwouldhurtthegirl’sfeelings.SoItooktheglassbutdidnotdrinkthewater.Thegirlhadayoungersisterwhomighthavebeenaroundtwelveyearsold.

Therewasalittleboysleepinginahome-madecradle.Outside,therewasatemporaryopenkitchenwheresabziwasbeingcooked.Theelderonewasmakingdoughfromwheatflour.‘ItseemsfromyourlanguagethatyouarenotGujaratis.Whereareyoufrom?’

Iasked.Smiling,theyoungersisteranswered,‘We’renotfromGujarat,we’refrom

Mumbai.’‘Haveyoucomeheretovisityourrelatives?’

‘No,wedon’thaveanyrelativeshere.Thisisourhouse.Wehavecomeherewithourparents.’Iwasverysurprisedbythisanswerbecause,normally,peoplefleeareas

afflictedbycalamities,whereasthesepeoplehadmovedin.‘Whatisyourfatherdoinghere?’Bothgirlswereeagertogivemeinformation.Theelderonereplied,‘My

fatherusedtobeginMumbaiatMahimCreek,nearthechurch.Mymotherusedtosellcandlesatthechurchentrance.’‘Whatmadeyoucomehere?’‘Oneday,wesawthenewsonTVandcametoknowthattherehadbeenan

earthquakehere.ItwasshowneveryhouronTVinthecornershop.Myfathersaid“Let’sgo”andwecamehere.’‘Whopaidforyourtraintickets?’‘Nobody.Wecameherewithouttickets.Thewholetrainwasfullofpeople.

Thereweremanypeoplelikeuswhohavecome.Theentirestationwasheavilycrowded.Therewasnoticketcollector.’‘Howdidyoucomefromthetrainstation?’‘Wedidn’tknowanyone.Buttherewereplentyofbusesrunningbetweenthe

stationandBhuj.Thereweremanyforeignvolunteers.Thebuseswerejam-packed.Wealsogotintooneofthebusesandlandedonthemainroad.’‘Howdidyoucometothisparticulararea?’‘Thereweremanyjeepsgoingfromthemainroadstoallinteriorvillages.On

themainroad,therewasaconvoyoftrucksfullofdifferentreliefmaterials.Theyusedtounloadmaterialsoneithersideoftheroad.Peoplewhodidnothaveanythingwouldpickthemupfromtheroadside.Wealsopickedupsome.’‘Whatwerethematerialsontheroadside?’‘Therewerefoodarticles,apples,biscuitpackets,clothes,blanketsandmany

moreitems.Myfathertoldeachoneofustopickupwhatwecouldandwecollectedalot.WehadneverseensomuchinourlifeinMumbai.Everythingwasinplenty.’Childrenareinnocentandtheyalwaystellthetruthuntiltheybecomeadults

andliescreepintotheirlives.Oneliestoboast,toshowwhatheisnot.Butchildrenaresoconfident.Theyneverpretendtobewhatthey’renot.Naturally,

theMumbaibeggar’sdaughtersdescribedthewholescenarioasifitwasaverymemorableevent.Theelderonesaidmuchmorethanthat.‘Therewerepeoplecrying,someof

theminpain.Somehadlosttheirchildrenorparents.Itwasverysadtosee.Buttherewereplentyofpeopletohelpalso.Thereweredoctorsworkingovernight.Therewereswamijisworkinglikecommonmen,distributingmedicines.Therewerearmypeoplediggingtobuildhouses.Therewasnodifferencebetweendayandnight,therichandthepoor.‘Ourpositionwasbetter.Wedidnotloseanybody,nordidweloseany

material,becauseweneverhadanythingtobeginwith.Peoplewhohavesomethinghavetofearlosingit,butpeoplewhodon’thaveanythingtolosehavenosuchfear.Mymotherandfatherhelpedpeopleandsomeonesaidthatinsidethevillagestherewasnobodytohelp.Therewerejeepsconstantlytravellingbetweenthevillagesandthemainroad.Sowegotintooneofthejeepsandlandedinthisvillage.Someorganizationwasgivingbamboo,campingmaterialsliketents,andotherroofingmaterials,freetoallthosepeoplewhohadlosttheirhouses.Aswehadnohome,wealsogotallthematerials.Sometimeswegotdoublebecausemymotherwasinonequeueandmyfatherinanother.’‘Whatallhaveyougot?’‘Plentyoffood.Wehavebeeneatingtoourhearts’contenteverydayandwe

havealsobeengivingsometopeoplewhowereunabletostandinthequeue.Weknowwhatitistobehungry.’‘Whydidyousettleherethen?’‘MyfatherhadasthmainMumbai.Hewasunabletobreatheandonmany

dayswewouldgohungry.Someonesaiditwasduetothepollution.Itmightbetrue,becauseafterwecamehere,hehasbeennormal,becausethere’snopollutionhere.Anyway,wehadalsobuiltourownhouse,sowedecidedtosettledown.’‘Whatjobdoesyourfatherdohere?Doeshecontinuetobeg?’‘No.Weareself-sufficientnow.Heisworkingasacoolieinanearbyfield.

HeearnsRs100aday.Ourmotheralsodoesthesamething,sotheincomeisdoubled.We’recomfortable.Theearthquakehascomelikeaboontous.’Sheaskedhersistertogetsometeaandbiscuits.Sheinquired,‘Which

biscuitsdoyouwant?’

‘Doyouhaveavariety?’Iasked,surprised.ShepulledthecurtainasideandIwasamazedtoseethevarietiesofbiscuit

packets,cartonsofBislerimineralwater,utensils,steeltrunksandotherthings.‘Fromthedayoftheearthquake,mostofusherehavebeendrinkingonly

Bisleriwater.Itseemssomeforeigncountryhassentashipfulofit.WhatIhavegivenyouisalsomineralwater.’Itooktheglassofwaterandimmediatelygulpeditdown.

10

InIndia,theWorstofBothWorlds

Mondayisthefirstworkingdayoftheweekandanextremelybusydayinouroffices.Allemailsandpapershavetobeprocessedandmeetingsheld.Longlistsofappointmentsinevitablyfillupourdiaries.Inbetweenappointments,unexpectedcallersinvariablyturnup.SecretariessweatitoutonMondaymornings.ButwehavetogetpastMondaytoreachSundayagain.IrecallonesuchMonday.Iwasengrossedincheckingandreplyingtomy

emailwhenmysecretarytoldmethatthereweretwovisitorswhohadcometomeetmewithoutanappointment.Iaskedher,‘Whatisspecialaboutthesevisitorsthatyouarelettingthemin

withoutanappointment?’Ihavegreatconfidenceinmystaffandtheirwaysofscreeningvisitors.Sherepliedinalowtone,‘Madam,oneisaveryoldmanwholooksverypale

andtheotherisamiddle-agedperson.Theysayitisveryurgentandhavebeenwaitingforquitesometime.’‘Sendthemin,’Isaid.Theycameinandsatoppositeme.Theoldmanseemedmorethanseventy

yearsold.Hewaslookingweak,tiredandworried.Hecarriedaworn-outbag.Hewasinapitiablecondition.Withhimwasamiddle-agedmanwhoalsolookedsomewhatworried.Icametothepointimmediately.‘Tellme,whatisthematter?’

Theoldmandidnottalkbutjustlookedattheyoungerman.Themiddle-agedmansaid,‘Madam,Isawthisoldmansittingnearabus

stop.Itseemshedoesnothaveanybody.Hewantssomeshelter.Unfortunately,hedoesnothaveanymoney.’Thismiddle-agedmanwantedtogoonwithallkindsofexplanations.Ioften

comeacrosspeoplewhobeataroundthebushquiteunnecessarily.Theynevertellyouwhattheywantdirectly.AsIamusedtosuchthings,Ioftencutthemshortevenattheriskofsoundingcurt.‘Whatdoyouwantmetodo?’Iaskedoutright.‘Ihavereadalotaboutyourwork.Iwantyoutohelpthisgentleman.’‘Doyouhaveanybody?’Iaskedtheoldman.Tearswelledupinhiseyes.Inalowvoicehesaid,‘No,Idonothave

anybody.’‘Whataboutyourfamily?’‘No,Idonothaveanybody.’‘Wherewereyouworkingbefore?’Iaskedmanyquestionsandhegavereasonablysatisfactoryreplies.Ifeltbadfortheoldman.Hehadnomoneyandnobodytogivehimahelping

hand.Itwasasadcase.Ithoughtofanold-agehomewithwhichwehadregularcontact.IcalledthishomeandtoldthemthatIwassendinganoldmanthereandthatheshouldbekeptthereuntilwedecidedwhatwecoulddoforhim.Themiddle-agedmansaid,‘Donotworry.Iwillgowithhimandleavehimthere.Fromthere,Iwillgotomyoffice.’Thentheyleftmyoffice.Soon,Igotlostinmyworldofwork,visitors,

vouchers,budgetsandsoon.NotthatIforgottheoldman’scase.OnceinawhileIwouldcalltheold-age

homeandinquireabouthim.Theywouldtellmethathewasfine.Ineverhadtimetothinkmoreabouthim.Iusedtosendmoneyeverymonthtotheold-agehome.Oneday,Igotacallfromthecaretakerofthehomesayingthattheoldman

wasverysickandthattheyhadadmittedhimtoahospital.CouldIcomeintheevening?Iwenttoseetheoldmanatthehospitalthatevening.

Hewasreallyunwell.Thedoctorsfelthisconditionwascriticalandthathedidnothavelongtolive.Ithoughttheremightbesomebodyhewishedtoseeatatimelikethis.Maybenothisownchildren,butperhapsanepheworasisterorbrother,atleastafriend?Wasthereanybodywecouldinform?Iaskedhim,‘Doyouwanttoseeanybody?Wewillcallwhomeveryouwant.

Doyouhaveanybody’sphonenumber?’Withatremblinghand,hewrotedownanumberandgaveittome.Wecalled

thenumberandinformedthepersonattheotherendthattheoldmanwascritical.Aftersometime,apersoncametoseehim.Helookedanxiousandworriedandwentstraighttotheoldman.IthoughtIhadseenthismanbefore.Itriedtojogmymemorybutinvain.I

justcouldn’trememberwhytheoldman’svisitorseemedsofamiliar.PerhapsheresembledsomeoneIhadmetonmytravels.Meanwhile,thedoctorcameoutandtoldmethattheoldmanhadbreathedhis

last.Ifeltsad.Ineitherknewhimnorhadanycontactwithhim.ButsomehowIfeltverysad.Afterafewminutes,thevisitorcameout.Hehadtearsinhiseyes.Hesat

downquietlyonabench.Thewholeplacewasquietanddepressing.Thecaretaker,thisvisitorandIsatinthevisitors’hall,waitingfortheformalitiestobecompleted.Thevisitorasked,‘Whereisthebaghehad?’‘Whatbag?’‘Thismancametotheold-agehomecarryingabag,’hesaid.Myinterestquickened.Howdidthevisitorknowthattherewasabag?Isentapeonbacktotheold-agehometofetchthebag.Whenitarrived,the

visitorwaseagertoopenit,butIdidnotpermithim.‘Youmaynotopenthebagunlessyouidentifyyourself.Whatisyour

relationshipwiththisoldman?Iwanttoknowhowyouknewaboutthisbag.’Heseemedveryupsetwithmyquestions.Maybehedidn’tlikeawoman

questioninghim.InIndia,menoftengetupsetwhenwomenraisequestionsthatareinconvenientforthem.Theypreferwomenwhodonotquestionwhattheydo.Fortunately,thistrendisdisappearingslowly.‘ItwasIwhoaccompaniedhimandlefthimatthishome,’saidtheman.‘Whoareyou?’Iwasverycurious.

‘Iamhisson.’YoucanimaginehowshockedIwas.NowIremembered—hewasthemiddle-

agedmanwhohadcometoourofficethatMondaymorningclaimingthathehadfoundtheoldmansittingnearabusstop.Iwasveryupset.‘Whydidyoulietome?’Ofcoursehehadastorytotell.‘Ihaveproblemsathome,’hesaid.‘Mywife

neverlikedmyfather.Sheaskedmetochoosebetweenherandhim.Atthattimewereadaboutyourfoundation.Wethoughtthenthatourproblemcouldbesolvedwithoutmoney.’Hesaidhehadnochoicebuttoappeasehiswifebecauseitwasshewhoownedthehousetheylivedin.‘Whatawaytosolveyourproblem!’Iprotested.‘Wehelppeoplewhoare

orphans,butnotorphanswithchildren.’Whenthebagwasfinallyopenedwefoundthreesetsofoldclothesinit,some

medicinesandapassbook.WhenIopenedthepassbook,Iwasastounded.Theoldmanhadabankbalanceofmorethanalakhofrupees.Theoldmanhadputdownanomineefortheaccount—hisson,thesamesonwhohadgotridofhim.Herewasasonwhowasheartlessenoughtopassoffhisfatherasdestituteinordertoadmithiminanold-agehome.Now,thesamesonhadcometoclaimhisfather’smoney.Thoughhissonhadnotwantedtolookafterhimandhadmadehimlietome

thathehadnobodyinthisworld,theoldmanneverthelesshadwantedhismoneytogotohisson.Itneverwouldhaveoccurredtohimtogivethatmoneytotheold-agehomethathadshelteredhiminhislastdays.InWesterncountries,whenoldpeopledieinold-agehomes,theyoftenwill

theirpropertytothehomeorthehospitalthatcaredforthem.Thisisforthebenefitofotherseniorcitizens.Theydonotbequeaththeirmoneytotheirchildren,nordothechildrenexpecttheirparentstodoso.ButinIndia,wehavetheworstofbothworlds:childrenneglectagedparents,andparentsroutinelyleavetheirpropertytotheirchildren.‘Itisshamefulthewayyouandyourfathercookedupthisdramaforthesake

ofafewthousandrupees!’Itoldtheman.‘Andyouaresettingabadexample.Nexttimewhenagenuinelydestitutepersonseekshelp,wewillbeunwillingtoofferit.Thememoryofpeoplelikeyouwillstayon.’Hehunghisheadinshame.

11

HowITaughtMyGrandmothertoRead

WhenIwasagirlofabouttwelve,IusedtostayinavillageinnorthKarnatakawithmygrandparents.Thosedays,thetransportsystemwasnotverygood,soweusedtogetthemorningpaperonlyintheafternoon.Theweeklymagazineusedtocomeonedaylate.Allofuswouldwaiteagerlyforthebus,whichusedtocomewiththepapers,weeklymagazinesandthepost.Atthattime,TriveniwasaverypopularwriterintheKannadalanguage.She

wasawonderfulwriter.Herstylewaseasytoreadandveryconvincing.Herstoriesusuallydealtwithcomplexpsychologicalproblemsinthelivesofordinarypeopleandwerealwaysveryinteresting.UnfortunatelyforKannadaliterature,shediedveryyoung.Evennow,afterfortyyears,peoplecontinuetoappreciatehernovels.Oneofhernovels,calledKashiYatre,wasappearingasaserialinthe

KannadaweeklyKarmaveerathen.ItisthestoryofanoldladyandherardentdesiretogotoKashiorVaranasi.MostHindusbelievethatgoingtoKashiandworshippingLordVishweshwaraistheultimatepunya.Thisoldladyalsobelievedinthis,andherstruggletogotherewasdescribedinthatnovel.Inthestorytherewasalsoayoungorphangirlwhofallsinlovebuttherewasnomoneyforthewedding.Intheend,theoldladygivesawayallhersavingstohelpthegirl,withoutgoingtoKashi.Shesays,‘ThehappinessofthisorphangirlismoreimportantthanworshippingLordVishweshwaraatKashi.’

Mygrandmother,Krishtakka,neverwenttoschoolsoshecouldnotread.EveryWednesday,themagazinewouldcomeandIwouldreadthenextepisodeofthisstorytoher.Duringthattimeshewouldforgetallherworkandlistenwiththegreatestconcentration.Later,shecouldrepeattheentiretextbyheart.MygrandmothertooneverwenttoKashi,andsheidentifiedherselfwiththenovel’sprotagonist.SomorethananybodyelseshewastheonemostinterestedinknowingwhathappenednextinthestoryandusedtoinsistthatIreadtheserialouttoher.AfterhearingwhathappenednextinKashiYatre,shewouldjoinherfriendsat

thetemplecourtyard,wherewechildrenwouldalsogathertoplayhide-and-seek.Shewoulddiscussthelatestepisodewithherfriends.Atthattime,Ineverunderstoodwhytherewassomuchdebateaboutthestory.OnceIwentforaweddingwithmycousinstotheneighbouringvillage.In

thosedays,aweddingwasagreatevent.Wechildrenenjoyedourselvesthoroughly.Wewouldeatandplayendlessly,savouringthefreedombecausealltheelderswerebusy.Iwentforacoupleofdaysbutendedupstayingthereforaweek.WhenIcamebacktomyvillage,Isawmygrandmotherintears.Iwas

surprised,forIhadneverseenhercryeveninthemostdifficultsituations.Whathadhappened?Iwasworried.‘Avva,iseverythingallright?AreyouOK?’Iusedtocallher‘Avva’,whichmeans‘mother’intheKannadaspokenin

northKarnataka.Shenoddedbutdidnotreply.Ididnotunderstandandforgotaboutit.Inthe

night,afterdinner,weweresleepingontheopenterraceofthehouse.Itwasasummernightandtherewasafullmoon.Avvacameandsatnexttome.Heraffectionatehandstouchedmyforehead.Irealizedshewantedtospeak.Iaskedher,‘Whatisthematter?’‘WhenIwasayounggirlIlostmymother.Therewasnobodytolookafter

andguideme.Myfatherwasabusymanandgotmarriedagain.Inthosedayspeopledidnotconsidereducationessentialforgirls,soIneverwenttoschool.Igotmarriedveryyoungandhadchildren.Ibecameverybusy.LaterIhadgrandchildrenandalwaysfeltsomuchhappinessincookingandfeedingallof

you.AttimesIusedtoregretnotgoingtoschool,soImadesurethatmychildrenandgrandchildrenstudiedwell...’Icouldnotunderstandwhymysixty-two-year-oldgrandmotherwastelling

me,atwelve-year-old,thestoryofherlifeinthemiddleofthenight.ButIknewIlovedherimmenselyandtherehadtobesomereasonwhyshewastalkingtome.Ilookedatherface.Itwasunhappyandhereyeswerefilledwithtears.Shewasagood-lookingladywhowasusuallyalwayssmiling.EventodayIcannotforgettheworriedexpressiononherface.Ileantforwardandheldherhand.‘Avva,don’tcry.Whatisthematter?CanIhelpyouinanyway?’‘Yes,Ineedyourhelp.Youknowwhenyouwereaway,Karmaveeracameas

usual.Iopenedthemagazine.IsawthepicturethataccompaniesthestoryofKashiYatreandIcouldnotunderstandanythingthatwaswritten.ManytimesIrubbedmyhandsoverthepageswishingtheycouldunderstandwhatwaswritten.ButIknewitwasnotpossible.‘IfonlyIwaseducatedenough.Iwaitedeagerlyforyoutoreturn.Ifeltyou

wouldcomeearlyandreadforme.Ieventhoughtofgoingtothevillageandaskingyoutoreadforme.IcouldhaveaskedsomebodyinthisvillagebutIwastooembarrassedtodoso.Ifeltsodependentandhelpless.Wearewelloff,butwhatuseismoneywhenIcannotbeindependent?’Ididnotknowwhattoanswer.Avvacontinued.‘IhavedecidedIwanttolearntheKannadaalphabetfromtomorrow.Iwill

workveryhard.IwillkeepSaraswatiPujadayduringDasaraasthedeadline.ThatdayIshouldbeabletoreadanovelonmyown.Iwanttobeindependent.’Isawthedeterminationonherface.YetIlaughedather.‘Avva,atthisageofsixty-twoyouwanttolearnthealphabet?Allyourhairis

grey,yourhandsarewrinkled,youwearspectaclesandyouworksomuchinthekitchen...’ChildishlyImadefunoftheoldlady.Butshejustsmiled.‘Foragoodcauseifyouaredetermined,youcanovercomeanyobstacle.I

willworkharderthananybody,butIwilldoit.Forlearningthereisnoagebar.’ThenextdayonwardsIstartedmytuition.Avvawasawonderfulstudent.The

amountofhomeworkshedidwasamazing.Shewouldread,repeat,writeandrecite.Iwasheronlyteacherandshewasmyfirststudent.LittledidIknowthenthatonedayIwouldbecomeateacherincomputerscienceandteachhundredsofstudents.

TheDasarafestivalcameasusual.SecretlyIboughtKashiYatrewhichhadbeenpublishedasanovelbythattime.Mygrandmothercalledmetothepujaplaceandmademesitdownonastool.Shegavemethegiftofadressmaterial.Thenshedidsomethingunusual.Shebentdownandtouchedmyfeet.Iwassurprisedandtakenaback.Eldersnevertouchthefeetofyoungsters.WehavealwaystouchedthefeetofGod,eldersandteachers.Weconsiderthatasamarkofrespect.Itisagreattraditionbuttodaythereversehadhappened.Itwasnotcorrect.Shesaid,‘Iamtouchingthefeetofateacher,notmygranddaughter;ateacher

whotaughtmesowell,withsomuchaffectionthatIcanreadanynovelconfidentlyaftersuchashortperiod.NowIamindependent.Itismydutytorespectateacher.Isitnotwritteninourscripturesthatateachershouldberespected,irrespectiveofgenderandage?’Ididreturnnamaskaratoherbytouchingherfeetandgavemygifttomyfirst

student.SheopeneditandreadimmediatelythetitleKashiYatrebyTriveniandthepublisher’sname.Iknewthenthatmystudenthadpassedwithflyingcolours.

12

Rahman’sAvva

Rahmanwasayoungandsoft-spokenemployeewhoworkedinaBPO.HewasalsoanactivevolunteerinourFoundation.Hewouldnottalkwithoutreasonandwouldneverboastabouthisachievements.Rahmanwasaperfectionist.Soanyassignmentgiventohimwasdone

exceedinglywell.HeworkedfortheFoundationontheweekendsandwasverykindtothechildrenintheorphanage.Hespenthisownmoneyandalwaysbroughtsweetsforthechildren.Ireallylikedhim.Sinceweworkedcloselytogether,helearntthatIamfromnorthKarnataka,

fromDharwaddistrict.Mylanguagehasthatarea’saccentandmyloveforDharwadfoodisverywellknown.Oneday,Rahmancameandaskedme,‘Madam,ifyouarefreethisSunday,willyoucometomyhouse?Mymotherandsisterarevisitingme.Incidentally,mymotherisalsofromDharwaddistrict.MyfamilyhasreadyourcolumnsinKannadaandyourbookstoo.WhenItoldthemthatIamworkingwithyou,theyexpressedtheirearnestdesiretomeetyou.Isitpossibleforyoutohavelunchwithus?’‘WillyouassuremethatI’llgetagoodDharwadmeal?’Ijoked.‘Iassureyou,madam.Mymotherisagreatcook.’‘Comeon,Rahman.Everyboygivesthiscomplimenttohismother,however

badshemaybeatcooking.Itisthemother’slovethatmakesthefoodgreat.’‘No,shereallyisanamazingcook.Evenmywifesaysso.’

‘Thenshemustbereallygreatbecausenodaughter-in-lawpraiseshermother-in-law’scookingwithoutmerit.’Ismiled.‘Bytheway,whichvillageinDharwaddistrictdotheycomefrom?’HetoldmethenameofavillagenearRanebennurthatIhadneverheardof.I

happilyagreedtovisitthemforlunch.ThatSunday,Itooksomeflowersalong.Rahman’snewlyconstructed

apartmentwasonBannerghattaRoadnearthezoo.WhenIenteredhishome,Imethiswife,Salma.Shewasasmartandgood-lookinggirl.Sheworkedasateacherinthekindergartennearby.Then,hecalledouttohisavva.Amotherisusuallyreferredtoas‘avva’in

northKarnataka.Anoldladywithgreyhaircameoutofthekitchen.Rahmanintroducedher,‘Thisismymother.’Iwasabitsurprised—shewasnotquitewhatIhadexpected.Shewaswearingahugebindithesizeofa25-paisacoinandanIlkalsariwithlotsofgreenbanglesonbotharms.Shekeptthesaripalluonherhead.Shehadacontentedsmileonherfaceandwithfoldedhandsshesaid,‘Namaste.’Rahman’ssisterenteredfromanotherroom.Shewassodifferentfrom

Rahman.Rahmanwasfairandveryhandsome.Hissisterwastallanddark.Shewaswearingacottonsariwithasmallerbindithanhermotherandalsohadtwogoldbanglesonherhands.Rahmansaid,‘ThisismysisterUsha.ShestaysinHirekerur.Bothherhusbandandsheareschoolteachers.’IfeltconfusedaftermeetingRahman’smotherandsisterbutIdidnotaskany

questions.AfterIsatdowncomfortably,Ushasaid,‘Madam,weloveyourstories

becausewefeelconnectedtothem.Iteachsomeofyourchildren’sstoriesatschool.’Salmaalsojoinedtheconversation.‘EvenIlikethem,butmystudentsaretoo

youngtounderstand.’Rahmansmiledandsaid,‘Youmustbesurprisedtoseemymotherandsister.

Iwanttosharemystorywithyou.’HismotherwentbacktothekitchenandUshastartedcleaningthetable.

Salmawenttohelphermother-in-law.Onlythetwoofusremained.‘Madam,youmustbewonderingwhymymotherandsisterareHinduswhile

IamaMuslim.OnlyyoucanunderstandandappreciatemylifestorybecauseI

haveseenyouhelpingpeoplefromallreligionsandcommunitieswithoutbias.Irememberyourcommenttome:wecan’tchoosethecommunityorreligionthatweareborninto,soweshouldneverthinkthatourcommunityisouridentity.’Rahmanpaused,thencontinued,‘Madam,IbelieveinthattoobecauseIhave

alsobeenbroughtupthatway.Iwanttosharemylifeandmyperspectivewithyou.’Rahmanstartedhisstory.‘Thirtyyearsago,KashibaiandDatturamlivedontheoutskirtsofourvillage

withtheirsix-month-olddaughter,Usha.Theylookedaftertheten-acrefieldoftheirlandlord,SrikantDesai,wholivedinBombay.Srikantonlycameonceayeartocollecttherevenue.ThefieldwasverylargeanditwastoomuchforKashibaiandDatturamtohandle.So,theyrequestedthelandlordtogetanotherfamilytostaywiththemandhelpwiththefield.Theyalsowelcomedthethoughtofhavingcompany.‘Srikantcontactedhisacquaintancesandfoundasuitablefamily.Soon,

FatimaBiandHusainSaabcametothevillage.TheyoccupiedoneportionofthehouseandtheotherportionstayedwithKashibaiandDatturam.HusainSaabandDatturamgotalongverywell.However,KashibaiandFatimaBididn’tseeeyetoeyeatall.Itisnotthattheywerebadwomenbuttheirnatureswereverydifferent.Kashibaiwasloud,veryfrankandhard-working.FatimaBiwasquiet,lazyandanintrovert.Inevitably;therewasafight.Itallstartedwithahen.Kashibai’shenwouldcometoFatimaBi’sportionofthehouseandlayeggs.FatimaBiwouldn’treturntheeggsbecauseshethoughtthatherhenhadlaidthem.KashibaieventriedcolouringherhentodistinguishitfromFatimaBi’s.Boththeladiessharedacommonwellandwouldfightbecausebothwantedtowashtheirvesselsandclothesalmostalwaysatthesametime.Theyalsofoughtabouttheirgoats.FatimaBi’sgoatscameandateKashibai’sflowersandleaves,whichsheusedforherpuja.Sometimes,Kashibai’sgoatswenttoFatimaBi’splaceandlefttheirdroppingsbehind.FatimaBiwouldn’treturnthedroppingseither.’‘What’ssogreataboutdroppings?’Iinterrupted.‘Madam,goatdroppingsareusedasmanure.’‘Oh,Iunderstand.Pleasecontinue,’IurgedRahman.

‘ThefightscontinuedandsometimesKashibaifeltthatshehadmadeamistaketotelltheirlandlordthattheywantedneighbours.ShefeltthatshehadbeenveryhappywithoutFatimaBi.FatimaBialsowantedtoleavethefarmandgotosomeothervillagebutHusainSaabdidn’tagree.Hewouldsay,“Youwomenfightaboutunnecessarythings.Thisisagoodopportunityforustomakemoney.Thelandisfertileandthereisplentyofwater.Ourlandlordisgoodandhardlyvisits.Wecaneasilygrowvegetables.WherecanIgetsuchworknearby?YoushouldalsobecomeactivelikeKashibaianddropyourego.Trytoadjustwithher.”Thesameconversationwouldhappenontheothersideofthehouse.Datturamwouldtellhiswife,“Don’tbesoaggressive.YoushouldmellowdownlikeFatima.Thoughsheislazy,sheisgood-natured.”‘Butasusual,bothwomenneverlistenedtotheirhusbands.‘Astimewentby,Kashibai’sdaughterUshaturnedtwoyearsold.FatimaBi

lovedchildrenandenjoyedwatchingUshaplayinthefield.FatimaBilikedhennaalot.Everymonth,shecolouredherhandswithhennafromtheplantinthefieldandUshaalwaysjoinedher.Ushawasfascinatedwiththebeautifulorangecolour.Shewouldcomehomeandtellhermother,“Whycan’tyoualsocolouryourhandslikeFatimaKaku?”(Kakuisequivalentto‘aunt’inthelocallanguage.)‘ThiscommentirritatedKashibai.Shesaid,“Fatimacanaffordtocolourher

handsbecauseherhusbandworksandalsohelpsinthekitchen.Shesitsonthebedandlistenstotheradio.IfIdothat,willyourfathercomeandworkinthekitchen?”FatimaBiwouldoverheartheirconversationbutstillshecontinuedherfriendshipwithlittleUsha.‘WhenFatimabecamepregnant,shebecameevenlazier.Sheeventually

reachedfulltermandadistantrelativecametohelpherwithherdelivery.Afewdayslater,therewasafestivalinthevillageandDatturamandhisfamilywenttoattendit.Whentheycameback,FatimaBiwasnotthere.Shewasalreadyinthehospitalincriticalconditionandhaddeliveredason.Thehousewasincompletesilence.ButthesilencewasdeafeningtoKashibai’sears.Shestartedcrying.ShewasverysadbecauseFatimaBiwasinthehospitalinsuchaseriouscondition.Thenextday,theylearntthatFatimaBiwasnomore.‘HusainSaabwasleftwithhisnewbornson.Themidwifestayedforamonth

andleft.ItwasanuphilltaskforHusainSaabtolookafterasmallbaby.Neither

HusainSaabnorFatimaBihadanyrelativeswhocouldtakecareofthelittleone.Mostofthemwerecooliesandanewbornchildwouldonlybeaburdentotherelatives.DatturamwasverysympatheticandallowedHusainSaabtoworklessinthefieldbuttakingcareofasmallbabyaloneisverydifficult.‘Onenight,thechildstartedcryingnon-stopandKashibaicouldnottakeit.

Shefeltthatenoughwasenough.Afterall,itwasalittlebaby.Awomanissodifferentfromamanwhenitcomestorearingachild.HermotherlyinstinctmadehergonextdoorandtaponHusainSaab’sdoorwithoutevenwaitingforherhusband.WhenHusainSaabopenedthedoor,shetoldhim,“HusainSaab,givemethebaby.Iamamother.Iknowhowtohandlehim.”Shepickedupthebabyboy,heldhiminherpalluandbroughthimtoherhouse,holdinghimtightlytoherchest.Thebabyboystoppedcryingimmediately.Forthefirsttimesincethebabywasborn,HusainSaabsleptthroughthenightcomfortably.‘Thenextday,KashibaitoldHusainSaab,“Iwilllookafterthischilduntil

yougetmarriedagain.Don’tworry.”SheforgotherenmitywithFatimaBiandevenfeltashamed.ShethoughtthatsheshouldhavebeennicertoFatimaBi.Now,Kashibaididnotevenbotheraboutwherethedroppingsofthegoatsfellorwherethehenslaidtheireggs.Forher,lookingafterthebabywasmoreimportant.ThebabywasnamedRahmanand,toeveryone’ssurprise,HusainSaabdidnotremarry.RahmangrewupinKashibai’shouseandstartedcallingherAvvaandUshabecamehisakka.Rahmancontinuedtosleepinhisfather’shousebutassoonasthesunrose,herantoKashibai’shousetogetready.WhileUshabathedonherown,KashibaibathedlittleRahman.Shegavethembreakfast,packedtheirlunchesandwalkedthemtoschool.ThoughUshawastwoyearsolderthanRahman,Kashibaimadesurethattheystudiedinthesameclass.Kashibaiworkedinthefieldintheafternoonandbroughtthechildrenbackintheevenings.HusainSaabcookedRahman’sdinnerandRahmanwouldgobackandsleepwithhisfatheratnight.Thiscontinuedfortenyears.‘WhenRahmanwastenandUshawastwelveyearsold,HusainSaabfellill

andallhissavingswerespentonhistreatment.Meanwhile,Kashibaipurchasedtwoshe-buffaloesandstartedamilkbusiness.Shestartedearningmoremoneythanherhusband.‘Thatsameyear,HusainSaabdiedoftuberculosis.Rahmanwasleftallalone.

TherewerehardlyanypeopleatHusainSaab’sburial.Adistantunclecameand

toldthemullahthathewouldtakecareofRahman.ButwhenthetimecametotakeRahmanaway,theuncledidnotturnupatall.Withoutasecondthought,DatturamandKashibaitookhimin.RahmanwashappytostayinKashibai’shouse.‘KashibaiwasveryconsciousaboutRahman’sreligion.EveryFriday,shesent

himfornamazandonholidaysshesenthimforKoranclassatthelocalmosque.ShetoldhimtoparticipateinallMuslimfestivalseventhoughtherewereveryfewMuslimsinthevillage.RahmanalsotookpartintheHindufestivalscelebratedinhishouse.DatturamandKashibaiboughttwocyclesforboththekids.RahmanandUshacycledtohighschoolandlatertheyalsorodetheircyclestothesamecollege.‘Eventually,theygraduatedandthatdayKashibaitoldRahman,

“Unfortunately,wedon’thaveapictureofyourparents.So,turntowardsMeccaandpraytoAllah.PraytoFatimaBiandHusainSaab.Theywillblessyou.Youarenowgrownupandindependent.Ushaisgettingmarriednextmonth.MyresponsibilitytobothUshaandyouisnowover.”‘Kashibai’saffectionanddevotionoverwhelmedRahman,whocouldnot

rememberhisownmother’sface.HeprayedtoAllahandhisparentsandthentouchedKashibai’sfeet.Hesaid,“Avva,youaremyammi.YouaremyMecca.”‘RahmangotajobinaBPOinBangaloreandlefthome.Heworkedfor

differentfirmsforafewyears,sawgrowthinhiscareerandstartedearningagoodsalary.HemetSalmaatafriend’sweddingandfellinlovewithher.‘AftergettingKashibaiandDatturam’sapproval,hegotmarriedtoSalma.’Whenhefinishedhisstory,Rahmanwasveryemotionalandintears.IwasamazedatKashibai.Shewasuneducatedbutveryadvancedinhuman

values.Iwassurprisedandhumbledbythelargenessofherheart.Kashibaihadraisedtheboywithhisownreligionandstilllovedhimlikeherson.Bythistime,lunchwasreadyandUshainvitedmetoeat.Whilehavingthe

deliciouslunch,IaskedUsha,‘Whatmadeyoudecidetovisithere?’‘IhaveholidaysatschoolandItookanextendedvacationsoIcouldcomefor

Panchami.’Panchamiisafestivalcelebratedmostlybygirls,particularlymarriedwomen,

whocometotheirbrother’shouse.ItissimilartotheRakhifestivalinthenorth,whereabrotheracknowledgeshissister’slove.Irecalledourhistoryand

rememberedthatQueenKarunavatihadsentarakhitoEmperorHumayun,seekinghisprotection.Now,IlookedatthewallinthediningroomandforthefirsttimeInoticed

twopicturesinRahman’shouse,oneofMeccaandtheotherofKrishna,bothhangingsidebyside.

13

CattleClass

Lastyear,IwasattheHeathrowAirportinLondon,abouttoboardaflight.Usually,IwearasarievenwhenIamabroad,butIpreferwearingasalwar-kameezwhiletravelling.SothereIwas—aseniorcitizendressedintypicalIndianapparelattheterminalgate.Sincetheboardinghadn’tstarted,Isatdownandbegantoobservemy

surroundings.TheflightwasboundforBengaluruandsoIcouldhearpeoplearoundmechattinginKannada.Isawmanyoldmarriedcouplesofmyage—theyweremostlikelycomingbackfromtheUSorUKafterhelpingtheirchildreneitherthroughchildbirthoranewhome.IsawsomeBritishbusinessexecutivestalkingtoeachotheraboutIndia’sprogress.Someteenagerswerebusywiththegadgetsintheirhandswhiletheyoungerchildrenwerecryingorrunningaboutthegate.Afterafewminutes,theboardingannouncementwasmadeandIjoinedthe

queue.Thewomaninfrontofmewasawell-groomedladyinanIndo-Westernsilkoutfit,aGuccihandbagandhighheels.Everysinglestrandofherhairwasinplaceandafriendstoodnexttoherinanexpensivesilksari,pearlnecklace,matchingearringsanddelicatediamondbangles.IlookedatthevendingmachinenearbyandwonderedifIshouldleavethe

queuetogetsomewater.

Suddenly,thewomaninfrontofmeturnedsidewaysandlookedatmewithwhatseemedlikepityinhereyes.Extendingherhand,sheasked,‘MayIseeyourboardingpass,please?’Iwasabouttohandovermypasstoher,butsinceshedidn’tseemlikean

airlineemployee,Iasked,‘Why?’‘Well,thislineismeantforbusiness-classtravellersonly,’shesaid

confidentlyandpointedherfingertowardstheeconomy-classqueue.‘Youshouldgoandstandthere,’shesaid.IwasabouttotellherthatIhadabusiness-classticketbut,onsecond

thoughts,heldback.IwantedtoknowwhyshehadthoughtthatIwasn’tworthyofbeinginthebusinessclass.SoIrepeated,‘WhyshouldIstandthere?’Shesighed.‘Letmeexplain.Thereisabigdifferenceinthepriceofan

economy-andabusiness-classticket.Thelattercostsalmosttwoandahalftimesmorethan...’‘Ithinkitisthreetimesmore,’herfriendinterrupted.‘Exactly,’saidthewoman.‘Sotherearecertainprivilegesthatareassociated

withabusiness-classticket.’‘Really?’Idecidedtobemischievousandpretendednottoknow.‘Whatkind

ofprivilegesareyoutalkingabout?’Sheseemedannoyed.‘Weareallowedtobringtwobagsbutyoucanonlytake

one.Wecanboardtheflightfromanother,less-crowdedqueue.Wearegivenbettermealsandseats.Wecanextendtheseatsandliedownflatonthem.Wealwayshavetelevisionscreensandtherearefourwashroomsforasmallnumberofpassengers.’Herfriendadded,‘Aprioritycheck-infacilityisavailableforourbags,which

meanstheywillcomefirstuponarrivalandwegetmorefrequent-flyermilesforthesameflight.’‘Nowthatyouknowthedifference,youcangototheeconomyline,’insisted

thewoman.‘ButIdon’twanttogothere.’Iwasfirm.Theladyturnedtoherfriend.‘Itishardtoarguewiththesecattle-class

people.Letthestaffcomeandinstructherwheretogo.Sheisn’tgoingtolistentous.’

Ididn’tgetangry.Theword‘cattleclass’waslikeablastfromthepastandremindedmeofanotherincident.Oneday,IhadgonetoanupscaledinnerpartyinmyhomecityofBengaluru.

Plentyoflocalcelebritiesandsocialiteswereinattendance.IwasspeakingtosomeguestsinKannada,whenamancametomeandsaidveryslowlyandclearlyinEnglish,‘MayIintroducemyself?Iam...’ItwasobviousthathethoughtthatImighthaveaproblemunderstandingthe

language.Ismiled.‘YoucanspeaktomeinEnglish.’‘Oh,’hesaid,slightlyflabbergasted.‘I’msorry.Ithoughtyouweren’t

comfortablewithEnglishbecauseIheardyouspeakinginKannada.’‘There’snothingshamefulinknowingone’snativelanguage.Itis,infact,my

rightandmyprivilege.IonlyspeakinEnglishwhensomebodycan’tunderstandKannada.’ThelineinfrontofmeattheairportbeganmovingforwardandIcameoutof

myreverie.Thetwowomenaheadwerewhisperingamongthemselves.‘Nowshewillbesenttotheotherline.Itissolongnow!Wetriedtotellherbutsherefusedtolistentous.’Whenitwasmyturntoshowmyboardingpasstotheattendant,Isawthem

stopandwaitashortdistanceaway,waitingtoseewhatwouldhappen.Theattendanttookmyboardingpassandsaidbrightly,‘Welcomeback!Wemetlastweek,didn’twe?’‘Yes,’Ireplied.Shesmiledandmovedontothenexttraveller.Iwalkedafewstepsaheadofthewomenintendingtoletthisgo,butthenI

changedmymindandcameback.‘Pleasetellme—whatmadeyouthinkthatIcouldn’taffordabusiness-classticket?EvenifIdidn’thaveone,wasitreallyyourprerogativetotellmewhereIshouldstand?DidIaskyouforhelp?’Thewomenstaredatmeinsilence.‘Yourefertotheterm“cattleclass”.Classdoesnotmeanpossessionofahuge

amountofmoney,’Icontinued,unabletostopmyselffromgivingthemapieceofmymind.‘Thereareplentyofwrongwaystoearnmoneyinthisworld.Youmayberichenoughtobuycomfortandluxuries,butthesamemoneydoesn’tdefineclassorgiveyoutheabilitytopurchaseit.MotherTeresawasaclassy

woman.SoisManjulBhargava,agreatmathematicianofIndianorigin.Theconceptthatyouautomaticallygainclassbyacquiringmoneyisoutdated.’Ileftwithoutwaitingforareply.Approximatelyeighthourslater,Ireachedmydestination.Itwasaweekday

andIrushedtoofficeassoonasIcouldonlytolearnthatmydaywasgoingtobespentinmultiplemeetings.Afewhourslater,IrequestedmyprogramdirectortohandlethelastmeetingofthedaybyherselfasIwasalreadystartingtofeeltiredandjet-lagged.‘Iamreallysorry,butyourpresenceisessentialforthatdiscussion,’she

replied.‘Ourmeetingiswiththeorganization’sCEOandsheiskeentomeetyouinperson.ShehasbeenfollowingupwithmeforafewmonthsnowandthoughIhavecommunicatedourdecision,shefeelsthatadiscussionwithyouwillchangetheoutcome.Ihavealreadyinformedherthatthedecisionwillnotbereversedirrespectiveofwhomshemeets,butsherefusestotakemeatmyword.Iurgeyoutomeetherandclosethischapter.’Iwasn’tnewtothissituationandreluctantlyagreed.Timewentbyquicklyandsoon,Ihadtogoinforthelastmeetingoftheday.

Justthen,Ireceivedanemergencycall.‘Goaheadwiththemeeting,’Isaidtotheprogramdirector.‘Iwilljoinyou

later.’WhenIenteredtheconferenceroomafterfifteenminutes,Isawthesame

womenfromtheairportinthemiddleofapresentation.Tomysurprise,theyweresimplydressed—onewaswearingasimplekhadisariwhiletheotherworeanunglamoroussalwar-kameez.Theclotheswereareminderofthestereotypethatisstillrampanttoday.Justlikeoneisexpectedtowearthefinestofsilksforawedding,socialworkersmustpresentthemselvesinaplainanduninterestingmanner.Whentheysawme,therewasanawkwardpausethatlastedforonlyafewsecondsbeforeoneofthemacknowledgedmypresenceandcontinuedthepresentationasifnothinghadhappened.‘Mycoffeeestateisinthisvillage.Alltheestateworkers’childrengotoa

governmentschoolnearby.Manyaresharpandintelligentbuttheschoolhasnofacilities.Thebuildingdoesn’tevenhavearooforcleandrinkingwater.Therearenobenches,toiletsorlibrary.Youcanseechildrenintheschool...’‘Butnoteachers,’Icompletedthesentence.

Shenoddedandsmiled.‘Werequestthefoundationtobegenerousandprovidetheschoolwithproperfacilities,includinganauditorium,sothatthepoorkidscanenjoytheessentialsofabigschool.’Myprogramdirectoropenedhermouthtosaysomething,butIsignalledher

tostop.‘Howmanychildrenarethereintheschool?’Iasked.‘Around250.’‘Howmanyofthemarethechildrenoftheestateworkers?’‘Allofthem.MyfathergottheschoolsanctionedwhenhewastheMLA,’she

saidproudly.‘Ourfoundationhelpsthosewhodon’thaveanygodfathersorgodmothers.

Thinkofthehomelessmanontheroadorthedaily-wageworker.Mostofthemhavenoonetheycanruntointimesofcrisis.Wehelpthechildrenofsuchpeople.Theestateworkershelpyourbusinessprosperandinreturn,youcanaffordtohelpthem.Infact,itisyourdutytodoso.Helpingthemalsohelpsyouinthelongrun,butitisthefoundation’sinternalpolicytoworkforthedisadvantagedinprojectswhereallthebenefitsgodirectlyandsolelytotheunderprivilegedalone.Maybethisconceptisbeyondtheunderstandingofthecattleclass.’Boththewomenlookedateachother,unsureofhowtorespond.Ilookedatmyprogramdirectorandsaid,‘Hey,Iwanttotellyouastory.’Icouldseefromherfacethatshewasfeelingawkward.Astoryinthemiddle

ofaseriousmeeting?Ibegan,‘GeorgeBernardShawwasagreatthinkerofhistimes.Oneday,a

dinnerwasarrangedataBritishclubinhishonour.Therulesoftheclubmandatedthatthemenwearasuitandatie.Itwasprobablythedefinitionofclassinthosedays.‘BernardShaw,beingwhohewas,walkedintotheclubinhisusualcasual

attire.Thedoormanlookedathimandsaidverypolitely,“Sorry,sir,Icannotallowyoutoenterthepremises.”‘“Whynot?”‘“Youaren’tfollowingthedresscodeoftheclub,sir.”‘“Well,today’sdinnerisinmyhonour,soitismywordsthatmatter,notwhat

Iwear,”repliedBernard,perfectlyreasonableinhisexplanation.

‘“Sir,whateveritmaybe,Ican’tallowyouinsideintheseclothes.”‘Shawtriedtoconvincethedoormanbuthewouldn’tbudgefromhisstance.

Sohewalkedallthewaybacktohishouse,changedintoappropriateclothesandenteredtheclub.‘Ashortwhilelater,theroomwasfull,withpeoplesittinginanticipationof

hisspeech.Hestooduptoaddresstheaudience,butfirstremovedhiscoatandtieandplaceditonachair.“Iamnotgoingtotalktoday,”heannounced.‘Thereweresurprisedmurmursintheaudience.Thosewhoknewhim

personallyaskedhimaboutthereasonforhisout-of-characterbehaviour.‘Shawnarratedtheincidentthathappenedawhileagoandsaid,“WhenIwore

acoatandtie,Iwasallowedtocomeinside.MymindisinnowayaffectedbytheclothesIwear.‘“Thismeansthattoallofyouwhopatronizetheclub,theclothesaremore

importantthanmybrain.Soletthecoatandthetietakemyplaceinstead.”‘Sayingthus,hewalkedoutoftheroom.’Istoodup.‘Themeetingisover,’Isaid.Weexchangedcursorygoodbyesand

Iwalkedbacktomyroom.Myprogramdirectorfollowedme.‘Yourdecisionregardingtheschoolwas

right.Butwhatwasthatotherstoryallabout?Andwhynow?Whatisthiscattle-classbusiness?Ididn’tunderstandathing!’Ismiledatherobviousconfusion.‘Onlythecattle-classfolkswillunderstand

whathappenedbackthere.Youdon’tworryaboutit.’

14

TheOldManandHisGod

Afewyearsback,IwastravellinginThanjavurdistrictofTamilNadu.Itwasgettingdark,andduetoadepressionovertheBayofBengal,itwasrainingheavily.Theroadswereoverflowingwithwaterandmydriverstoppedthecarnearavillage.‘Thereisnowaywecanproceedfurtherinthisrain,’saidthedriver.‘Whydon’tyoulookforsheltersomewherenearbyratherthansitinthecar?’Strandedinanunknownplaceamongunknownpeople,Iwasabitworried.

Nevertheless,Iretrievedmyumbrellaandmarchedoutintothepeltingrain.Istartedwalkingtowardsthetinyvillage,whosenameIcannotrecallnow.Therewasnoelectricityanditwasatrialwalkinginthedarknessandtherain.InthedistanceIcouldjustmakeouttheshapeofasmalltemple.Idecideditwouldbeanidealplacetotakeshelter,soImademywaytoit.Halfwaythere,therainstartedcomingdownevenmorefiercelyandthestrongwindblewmyumbrellaaway,leavingmecompletelydrenched.Ireachedthetemplesoakingwet.AssoonasIentered,Iheardanelderlyperson’svoicecallingouttome.ThoughIcannotspeakTamil,Icouldmakeouttheconcerninthevoice.Inthecourseofmytravels,Ihavecometorealizethatvoicesfromtheheartcanbeunderstoodirrespectiveofthelanguagetheyspeak.Ipeeredintothedarknessofthetempleandsawanoldmanofabouteighty.

Standingnexttohimwasanequallyoldladyinatraditionalnine-yardcotton

sari.Shesaidsomethingtohimandthenapproachedmewithawornbutcleantowelinherhand.AsIwipedmyfaceandheadInoticedthatthemanwasblind.Itwasobviousfromtheirsurroundingsthattheywereverypoor.TheShivatemple,whereInowstood,wassimplewiththeminimumofostentationinitsdecorations.TheShivalingawasbareexceptforabilwaleafontop.Theonlylightcamefromasingleoillamp.Inthatflickeringlight,asenseofcalmovercamemeandIfeltmyselfclosertoGodthaneverbefore.InhaltingTamil,Iaskedthemantoperformtheeveningmangalarati,which

hedidwithloveanddedication.Whenhefinished,Igavehimahundred-rupeenoteasthedakshina.Hetouchedthenoteandpulledawayhishand,lookinguncomfortable.

Politelyhesaid,‘Amma,Icanmakeoutthatthenoteisnotfortenrupees,themostweusuallyreceive.Whoeveryoumaybe,inatemple,yourdevotionisimportant,notyourmoney.Evenourancestorshavesaidthatadevoteeshouldgiveasmuchasheorshecanaffordto.TomeyouareadevoteeofShiva,likeeveryoneelsewhocomeshere.Pleasetakebackthismoney.’Iwastakenaback.Ididnotknowhowtoreact.Ilookedattheman’swife

expectinghertoarguewithhimandurgehimtotakethemoney,butshejuststoodquietly.Often,inmanyhouseholds,awifeencouragestheman’sgreediness.Here,itwastheopposite.Shewasendorsingherhusband’sviews.SoIsatdownwiththem,andwiththewindandrainwhippingupafrenzyoutside,wetalkedaboutourlives.Iaskedthemaboutthemselves,theirlifeinthevillagetempleandwhethertheyhadanyonetolookafterthem.FinallyIsaid,‘Bothofyouareold.Youdon’thaveanychildrentolookafter

youreverydayneeds.Inoldageonerequiresmoremedicinesthangroceries.Thisvillageisfarfromanyofthetownsinthedistrict.CanIsuggestsomethingtoyou?’Atthattime,wehadstartedanold-agepensionschemeandIthought,looking

attheirworn-outbutcleanclothes,theywouldbetheidealcandidatesforit.Thistimethewifespokeup,‘Pleasedotell,child.’‘Iwillsendyousomemoney.Keepitinanationalizedbankorpostoffice.

Theinterestonthatcanbeusedforyourmonthlyneeds.Ifthereisamedicalemergencyyoucanusethecapital.’

Theoldmansmiledonhearingmywordsandhisfacelitupbrighterthanthelamp.‘Yousoundmuchyoungerthanus.Youarestillfoolish.WhydoIneedmoney

inthisgreatoldage?LordShivaisalsoknownasVaidyanathan.HeistheMahavaidya,orgreatdoctor.Thisvillageweliveinhasmanykindpeople.Iperformthepujaandtheygivemericeinreturn.Ifeitherofusisunwell,thelocaldoctorgivesusmedicines.Ourwantsareveryfew.WhywouldIacceptmoneyfromanunknownperson?IfIkeepthismoneyinthebank,likeyouaretellingmeto,someonewillcometoknowandmayharassus.WhyshouldItakeontheseworries?Youareakindpersontoofferhelptotwounknownoldpeople.Butwearecontent;letusliveaswealwayshave.Wedon’tneedanythingmore.’Justthentheelectricitycamebackandabrightlightlitupthetemple.Forthe

firsttimeIsawthecoupleproperly.Icouldclearlyseethepeaceandhappinessontheirfaces.TheywerethefirstpeopleImetwhorefusedhelpinspiteoftheirobviousneed.Ididnotagreewitheverythinghehadjustsaid,butitwascleartomethathiscontentmenthadbroughthimpeace.Suchanattitudemaynotletyouprogressfast,butafteracertainperiodinlifeitisrequired.PerhapsthisworldwithitsmanystressesandstrainshasmuchtolearnfromanoldcoupleinaforgettablecornerofIndia.

15

ALessoninLifefromaBeggar

Meenaisagoodfriendofmine.SheisanLICofficerearningagoodsalary.Buttherewasalwayssomethingstrangeabouther.Shewasforeverunhappy.WheneverImether,Iwouldstarttofeeldepressed.Itwasasthoughhergloomandcynicismhadawayofspreadingtoothers.Sheneverhadanythingpositivetosayonanysubjectoraboutanyperson.Forinstance,Imightsaytoher,‘Meena,didyouknowRakeshhascomefirst

inhisschool?’Meena’simmediateresponsewouldbetobelittletheachievement.‘Naturally,

hisfatherisaschoolteacher,’shewouldsay.IfIsaid,‘Meena,Shwethaisaverybeautifulgirl,isn’tshe?’Meenawouldbe

pessimistic.‘Whenaponyisyoung,helookshandsome.Itisagethatmatters.Waitforsometime.Shwethawillbeuglierthananyoneyouknow.’‘Meena,it’sabeautifulday.Let’sgoforawalk.’‘No,thesunistoohotandIgettiredifIwalktoomuch.Besides,whosays

walkingisgoodforhealth?There’snoproof.’ThatwasMeena.Shestayedaloneinanapartmentasherparentslivedin

Delhi.Shewasanonlychildandhadthehabitofcomplainingaboutanythingandeverything.Naturally,shewasn’tverypleasantcompanyandnobodywantedtovisither.Thenoneday,MeenawastransferredtoBombayandsoonweallforgotabouther.

Manyyearslater,IfoundmyselfcaughtintherainatBombay’sFloraFountain.ItwaspouringandIdidn’thaveanumbrella.IwasstandingnearAkbarallys,apopulardepartmentstore,waitingfortheraintosubside.Suddenly,IspottedMeena.Myfirstreactionwastorun,eveninthatpouringrain.Iwasanxioustoavoidbeingseenbyher,havingtolistentohernever-endingcomplaints.However,Icouldn’tescape.Shehadalreadyseenmeandcaughtholdofmyhandwarmly.What’smore,shewasverycheerful.‘Hey!Iamreallyexcited.It’snicetomeetoldfriends.Whatareyoudoing

here?’IexplainedthatIwasinBombayonofficialwork.‘Thenstaywithmetonight,’shesaid.‘Let’schat.Doyouknowthatoldwine,

oldfriendsandmemoriesarepreciousandrare?’Icouldn’tbelieveit.WasthisreallyMeena?Ipinchedmyselfhardtobesure

itwasn’tadream.ButMeenawasreallystandingthere,rightinfrontofme,squeezingmyhand,smiling,andyes,shedidlookhappy.InthethreeyearsshehadbeeninBangalore,Ihadneveronceseenhersmilinglikethat.Afewstrandsofgreyinherhairremindedmethatyearshadpassed.Therewereafewwrinklesonherface,butthetruthwasthatshelookedmoreattractivethaneverbefore.Finally,Imanagedtosay,‘No,Meena,Ican’tstaywithyoutonight.Ihaveto

attendadinner.GivemeyourcardandI’llkeepintouchwithyou.Ipromise.’Foramoment,Meenalookeddisappointed.‘Let’sgoandhaveteaatleast,’

sheinsisted.‘ButMeena,it’spouring.’‘Sowhat?We’llbuyanumbrellaandthengototheGrandHotel,’shesaid.‘Wewon’tgetataxiinthisrain,’Igrumbled.‘Sowhat?We’llwalk.’Iwasverysurprised.Thiswasn’tthesameMeenaIhadknown.Today,she

seemedreadytomakeanynumberofadjustments.WereachedtheGrandHoteldrenched.Bythentheonlythoughtinmymind

wastofindoutwhoorwhathadbroughtaboutsuchachangeinthepessimisticMeenaIhadknown.Iwasquitecurious.‘Tellme,Meena,isthereaPrinceCharmingwhohasmanagedtochangeyou

so?’

Meenawassurprisedbymyquestion.‘No,thereisn’tanyonelikethat,’shesaid.‘Thenwhat’sthesecretofyourenergy?’Iasked,likeTendulkardoesinthe

ad.Shesmiled.‘Abeggarchangedmylife.’Iwasabsolutelydumbfoundedandshecouldseeit.‘Yes,abeggar,’sherepeated,asiftoreassureme.‘Hewasoldandusedto

stayinfrontofmyhousewithhisfive-year-oldgranddaughter.Asyouknow,Iwasachronicpessimist.Iusedtogivemyleftoverstothisbeggareveryday.Ineverspoketohim.Nordidhespeaktome.Onemonsoonday,Ilookedoutofmybedroomwindowandstartedcursingtherain.Idon’tknowwhyIdidthatbecauseIwasn’tevengettingwet.ThatdayIcouldn’tgivethebeggarandhisgranddaughtertheirdailyquotaofleftovers.Theywenthungry,Iamsure.‘However,whatIsawfrommywindowsurprisedme.Thebeggarandthe

younggirlwereplayingontheroadbecausetherewasnotraffic.Theywerelaughing,clappingandscreamingjoyously,asiftheywereinparadise.Hungerandraindidnotmatter.Theyweretotallydrenchedandtotallyhappy.Ienviedtheirzestforlife.‘Thatsceneforcedmetolookatmyownlife.IrealizedIhadsomany

comforts,noneofwhichtheyhad.Buttheyhadthemostimportantofallassets,onewhichIlacked.Theyknewhowtobehappywithlifeasitwas.Ifeltashamedofmyself.IevenstartedtomakealistofwhatIhadandwhatIdidnothave.IfoundIhadmoretobegratefulforthanmostpeoplecouldimagine.Thatday,Idecidedtochangemyattitudetowardslife,usingthebeggarasmyrolemodel.’Afteralongpause,IaskedMeenahowlongithadtakenhertochange.‘Oncethisrealizationdawned,’shesaid,‘ittookmealmosttwoyearstoput

thechangeintoeffect.Nownothingmatters.Iamalwayshappy.Ifindhappinessineverysmallthing,ineverysituationandineveryperson.’‘Didyougiveanygurudakshinatoyourguru?’Iasked.‘No.Unfortunately,bythetimeIunderstoodthings,hewasdead.ButI

sponsoredhisgranddaughtertoaboardingschoolasamarkofrespecttohim.’

16

MayYouBetheMotherofaHundredChildren

Iwasonmywaytotherailwaystation.Ihadthenineo’clockBangalore–HubliKitturExpresstocatch.Halfwaytothestationourcarstopped.Therewasahugetrafficjam.Therewasnowaywecouldeithermoveforwardorreversethecar.Isatandwatchedhelplesslyasafewtwo-wheelersscrapedpastthecarthroughanarrowgap.FinallyIaskedmydriverwhatthematterwas.Trafficjamsarenotuncommonbutthiswassomethingunusual.Hegotoutofthecarandsaidtheroadaheadwasblockedbysomepeopleholdingacommunalharmonymeet.Inowrealizeditwasperhapsimpossibletogettothestation.Thepapershadreportedaboutthemeetingandhadwarnedthattheroadswouldbeblockedforsometime.ThecarwasmovedintoabylaneandseeingtherewasnowayIcouldtryandmakemywaybackhome,Idecidedtojointhecrowdandlistentothespeeches.Fromadistance,Icouldseethedais.Therewerevariousreligiousheads

sittingonarowofchairsonthestage.Anelderlygentlemanstoodnexttomeandcommentedloudly,‘Allthisisjustadrama.InIndia,everythingisdecidedonthebasisofcasteandcommunity.Evenourelectionsaredictatedbythem.Whoevercomestopowerthinksonlyofthebettermentofhiscommunity.Itiseasytogivespeechesbutinpracticallifetheyforgeteverything.’Justthenamiddle-agedladystartedspeakingintothemike.Fromthewayshe

wasspeaking,soconfidently,itwasapparentthatshewasusedtogiving

speechesandhadthegiftofthegab.Heranalogieswerequiteconvincing.‘Whenyoueatameal,doyoueatonlychapattisorrice?No,youalsoneedavegetable,adalandsomecurd.Thetastesofthedishesvary,butonlywhentheyareputtogetherdoyougetawholesomemeal.Similarlydifferentcommunitiesneedtolivetogetherinharmonyandbuildastrongcountry...’etc.‘Itisanicespeechbutwhofollowsallthisinreallife?’thegentlemannextto

mecommented.‘Whydoyousaythat?’Ihadtoaskfinally.Helookedatme,surprisedatmyunexpectedquestion,thenanswered,

‘Becausemyfamilyhassufferedalot.Mysondidnotgetajobashewasnotfromtherightcommunity,mydaughterwastransferredasherbosswantedtoreplaceherwithsomeonefromhisowncommunity.Itiseverywhere.Whereveryougo,thefirstthingpeoplewanttoknowiswhichcasteorreligionyoubelongto.’Thewomanwasstilltalkingonthepodium.‘Whatishername?’Iasked.‘SheisAmbabhavani,agiftedspeakerfromTamilNadu.’HernamerangabellsomewhereinmymindandsuddenlyIwastransported

awayfromthejostlingcrowdsandtheloudspeeches.Iwasinatimelongpast,withmypaternalgrandmother,AmbaBai.AmbaBaiwasaffectionatelycalledAmbakkaorAmbakkaAaibyeveryonein

thevillage.Shespentherwholelifeinonelittlevillage,Savalagi,nearBijapurinnorthKarnataka.Likemostotherwomenofhergenerationshehadneversteppedintoaschool.Shewasmarriedearlyandspentherlifefulfillingtheresponsibilitiesoflookingafteralargefamily.ShewaswidowedearlyandIalwaysrememberseeingherwithashavenhead,wearingaredsari,thepallucoveringherheadalways,aswasthetraditioninthethenorthodoxBrahminsociety.Shelivedtillshewaseighty-nineandinherwholelifesheknewonlytheworldsofhertenchildren,fortygrandchildren,hervillageandthefields.Sincewewerefarmerssheownedlargemud-houseswithcows,horsesand

buffaloes.Therewasalargegranaryandbigtreesthatcooledthehouseduringthehotsummers.Therewererowsofcactiplantedjustoutsidethehouse.Theykeptoutthemosquitoes,weweretold.Ajji(that’swhatwecalledAmbaBai)lookedafterthefieldsandthefarmerswithapassion.Infact,Idon’trecallhereverspendingtoomuchtimeinthekitchenmakingpicklesorsweetslikeother

grandmothers.Shewouldbeupearlyandafterherbathspendsometimedoingherdailypuja.Shewouldmakesomejowarchapattisandavegetable,andthenheadouttothefields.Shewouldspendtimetheretalkingtothefarmersabouttheseedstheyhadgot,thestateofthewellorthehealthoftheircattle.Herotherpassioninlifewastohelpthewomenofthevillagedelivertheirbabies.ThoughIdidnotrealizethistillIwasateenager,Ajjiwasmostunlikean

orthodoxBrahminwidow.Shewasverymuchforwomen’seducation,familyplanningandhadmuchtosayaboutthewaysocietytreatedwidows.Thosedaystherewerefewfacilitiesavailabletothevillages.Therewerea

handfulofmedicalcollegesandnoteverytalukhadagovernmenthospital.Inthisscenariowomenwhohadbornechildrenweretheonlyhelptoothersduringchildbirth.Mygrandmotherwasoneofthem.Shewasveryproudofthefactthatshehaddeliveredtenperfectlyhealthychildren,allofwhomsurvived.Andinturn,shewouldhelpothersduringtheirdelivery,irrespectiveofcasteorcommunity.Shealwayshadawordofadviceorahandytipforthepregnantwomenofthevillage.Iwouldoftenhearsuchnuggetsofwisdomfromher.‘Savitri,becareful.Don’tliftheavyarticles.Eatwellanddrinkmoremilk.’‘Peerambi,youhavehadtwomiscarriages.Becarefulthistime.Eatlotsof

vegetablesandfruits.Youshouldbecarefulbutdon’tsitidle.Pregnancyisnotadisease.Youshouldbeactive.Dosomelightwork.SendyourhusbandHussaintomyhouse.Iwillgivesomesambarpowder.Mydaughter-in-lawpreparesitverywell.’Ofcourse,noteveryoneappreciatedheradvisingthem.Onesuchpersonwas

ShakuntalaDesai,whohadstayedinthecityforsometimeandhadgonetoschool.‘WhatdoesAmbakkaknowaboutthesethings?’shewouldcommentloudly.‘Hassheevergonetoschoolorreadamedicalbook?Sheisnotadoctor.’ButAjjiwouldbeleastbotheredbythesecomments.Shewouldonlylaugh

andsay,‘LetthatShakuntalagetpregnant.Iwilldeliverthebaby.Myfourdecadesofexperienceisbetterthananybook!’Myfather’sjobtookustovarioustownstolivein,butwealwayscameto

Ajji’svillageduringtheholidays.Theywerejoyousdaysandwewouldenjoyourselvesthoroughly.

Once,whenwewereatthevillage,therewasaweddingintheneighbouringvillage.Ajjialwaysrefusedtoattendthesesocialgatherings.Thattime,ItoodecidedtostaybackwithherandonenighttherewasonlyAjji,meandourhelperDyamappainthatlargehouse.Itwasanunusuallycold,moonlesswinternightinDecember.Itwaspitch

darkoutside.AjjiandIweresleepingtogether.Dyamappahadspreadhisbedonthefrontverandaandwasfastasleep.Forthefirsttimethatnight,IsawAjjiremoveherpallufromherheadandthewispsofgreyhaironherhead.Shetouchedthemandsaid,‘Societyhassuchcruelcustoms.WouldyoubelievethatIoncehadthicklongplaitshangingdownmyback?HowIlovedmyhairandwhatasourceofenvyitwasfortheothergirls!Butthedayyourgrandfatherdied,nooneevenaskedmypermissionbeforechoppingoffthatbeautifulhair.Icriedasmuchformyhairasformyhusband.Nooneunderstoodmygrief.Tellme,ifawifedies,doesthewidowerkeephisheadshavedfortherestofhislife?No,withinnotimeheisreadytobeagroomagainandbringhomeanotherbride!’Atthatage,Icouldnotunderstandherpain,butnow,whenIrecallherwords,

Irealizehowhelplessshemusthavefelt.Aftersometimeshechangedhertopic.‘OurPeerambiisdueanytime.Ithink

itwillbetonight.Itisamoonlessnightafterall.Peerambiisgoodandpious,butsheissoshy,Iamsureshewillnotsayanythingtoanyonetillthepainbecomesunbearable.IhavebeenprayingforhersafedeliverytoourfamilydeityKallolliVenkateshaandalsoatthePeerSaabDargainBijapur.Everyonewantssons,butIdohopethereisagirlthistime.Daughterscareforparentswherevertheyare.Anywomancandoaman’sjobbutamancannotdoawoman’sjob.AfteryourAjja’sdeath,amInotlookingaftertheentirefarming?Akkavva,alwaysrememberwomenhavemorepatienceandcommonsense.Ifonlymenrealizedthat...’Ajjihadsomanygrandchildrenshefoundithardtorememberalltheirnames.

Soshewouldcallallhergranddaughters‘Akkavva’andgrandsons‘Bala’.AsAjjirambledonintothenight,therewasaknockonthedoor.Instinctively

Ajjisaid,‘ThatmustbeHussain.’Andindeeditwas.Ajjicoveredherheadagainandforgettinghergriefsaboutwidowhood,sheaskedquickly,‘IsPeerambiinlabour?’

‘Yes,shehashadthepainssincethisevening.’‘Andyouaretellingmenow?Youdon’tunderstandhowprecioustimeis

whenawomanisinlabour.Letusgonow.Don’twasteanymoretime.’ShestartedgivinginstructionstoHussainandDyamappasimultaneously.‘Hussain,cutthecactus,takeafewsprigsofneem.Dyamappa,youlighttwo

biglanterns...‘Akkavva,youstayathome.Dyamappawillbewithyou.Ihavetohurry

now.’Shewasgatheringsomethingsfromherroomandputtingthemintoher

woodencarry-box.Bythattime,thehugeDyamappa,withhislargewhiteturbanonhisheadandmassivemoustachesappearedatthedoorbearingtwolanterns.InthepitchdarknesshemadeaterrifyingpictureandimmediatelybroughttomymindtheRavanaintheRamayanaplayIhadseenrecently.TherewasnowayIwasgoingtostayaloneinthehousewithhim!IinsistedIwantedtogowithAjji.Ajjiwasimpatient.‘Akkavva,don’tbeadamant.Afterall,youareateenage

girlnow.Youshouldnotseethesethings.IwillleaveyouatyourfriendGirija’shouse.’Butlikeanyotherteenager,Iwasadamantandwouldnotbudgefrommydecision.FinallyAjjigaveup.Shewenttothepujaroom,saidaquickprayerand

lockedthehousebehindher.ThefourofussetoffinpitchdarknesstoHussain’shouse.Hussainleadthewaywithalantern,Ajji,withmeclutchingontoherhand,followed,andDyamappabroughtuptherear,carryingtheotherlantern.Wemadeourwayacrossthevillage.AjjiwalkedwitheasewhileIstumbled

besideher.ItwascoldandIdidnotknowtheway.AllthetimeAjjikeptupaconstantstreamofinstructionsforHussainandDyamappa.‘Hussain,whenwereach,fillthelargedrumswithwater.Dyamappawillhelp

you.Boilsomewater.Burnsomecoal.Putallthechickensandlambsintheshed.Seethattheydon’tcomewanderingaround...’FinallywereachedHussain’shouse.Peerambi’scriesofpaincouldbeheard

comingfrominside.HussainandPeerambilivedalone.Theywerepoorfarmlabourerswho

workedondailywages.TheirneighbourMehboobBiwasthere,attendingtoPeerambi.

SeeingAjji,shelookedrelieved.‘Nowthereisnothingtoworry.AmbakkaAaihascome.’Ajjiwashedherfeetandhandsandwentinsidetheroomwithher

paraphernalia,slammingthedoorsandwindowsshutbehindher.Outsideonthewoodenbench,HussainandDyamappasatawaitingfurtherinstructionsfromAjji.Iwascurioustofindoutwhatwouldhappennext.Inside,IcouldhearAjjispeakingaffectionatelytoPeerambi.‘Don’tworry.

Deliveryisnotanimpossiblething.Ihavegivenbirthtotenchildren.JustcooperateandIwillhelpyou.PraytoGodtogiveyoustrength.Don’tlosecourage...’Inbetween,sheopenedthewindowpartlyandtoldHussain,‘Iwantsometurmericpowder.Ican’tsearchinyourhouse.GetitfromMehboobBi’shouse.Dyamappa,givemeonemorebigbowlofboilingwater.Hussain,takeanewcanetray,cleanitwithturmericwaterandpassitinside.Dyamappa,Iwantsomemoreburningcoal...’Thepious,gentleAjjiwasadictatornow!ThenextfewhourswerepunctuatedbyPeerambi’sanguishedcriesandAjji’s

patient,consolingwords,whileHussainsatoutsidetenseandDyamappanonchalantlysmokedabidi.Thenightgotdarkandthenitstartedgettinglighterandlighter.Thecock,lockedinitscoop,crowedandwiththerisingsunweheardthesoundsofababy’scrying.Ajjiopenedonewindowpaneandannounced,‘Hussain,youareblessedwitha

son.Helooksjustlikeyourfather,MohammedSaab.PeerambihadatoughtimebutGodiskind.Motherandchildarebothsafeandhealthy.’S-l-a-a-m...thedoorshutagain.Butthistimeoutsidewegrinnedateach

otherinjoy.Hussainkneltdownandsaidaprayerofthanks.Thenhejumpedupandknockedonthedoor,wantingtoseethebaby.Itremainedshut.Ajjiwasnotentertaininganyvisitorstillshewasdone.‘Yourclothesaredirty,’sheshoutedfrominside.‘Firsthaveabath,wearclean

clothesandthencomein,otherwiseyouwillinfectthebabyandmother.’Hussainrushedtothebathroom,whichwasjustathatchedpartitionand

pouredbucketsofcleanwaterfromthewellontohimself.Evenafterherushedin,IcouldhearonlyAjji’svoice.‘Peerambi,myworkis

over.Ihavetorushhome.Todayismyhusband’sdeathceremony.Thereare

manyritualstobecompleted.ThepriestswillarriveanytimeandIhavetohelpthem.Iwillleavenowandifyouwantanything,sendwordthroughHussain.‘Peerambi,toawoman,deliveringababyislikegoingtothedeathbedand

wakingupagain.Becareful.MehboobBi,pleasekeepPeerambi’sroomclean.Don’tputanynewclothesonthebaby.Theywillhurthim.Wraphiminanoldcleandhoti.Don’tkissthebabyonhislips.Don’tshowthebabytoeverybody.Don’tkeeptouchinghim.Boilthedrinkingwaterandimmerseanironladleinthat.Peerambishoulddrinkonlythatwater.Iwillsendapotofhome-madegheeandsoftriceandrasamforPeerambitoeat...NowIhavetogo.Bheemappaissupposedtocomeandcleanthegardentoday.IfIamlate,hewillrunaway...’Bynowshehadallowedthewindowtobeopened.Ipeepedinandsawthe

tiredbutjoyousfaceofPeerambiandatiny,chubbyversionofMohammedSaab,Hussain’sfather,asleeponthecanetray.Theneemleaveswerehanging,thecactuswaskeptinacornerandthefragranceofthelobanahadfilledtheentireroom.Ajjialsolookedtiredandtherewassweatonherforehead.Butshewascleaningheraccessoriesvigorouslyinthehotwaterandwipingthembeforeplacingthemcarefullybackinherwoodenbox.Justaswewereabouttoleave,HussainbentdownandtouchedAjji’sfeet.In

achokedvoicehesaid,‘AmbakkaAai,Idonotknowhowtothankyou.Wearepoorandcannotgiveyouanything.ButIcanthankyousincerelyfromthebottomofmyheart.Youareamotherofahundredchildren.Youhaveblessedmysonbybringinghimintothisworld.Hewillneverstrayfromthecorrectpath.’Ajjitouchedhimonhisshoulderandpulledhimup.Thereweretearsinher

eyestoo.Shewipedthemandsaid,‘Hussain,Godonlywantsustohelpeachotherindifficulttimes.PeerambiisafteralllikeanotherAkkavvatome.’BynowthesunwasupandIfollowedAjjibackhomewithoutstumbling.

Dyamappawasstrollinglazilyfarbehindus.OnedoubtwasworryingmeandIhadtoclearit.‘Ajji,youhavegivenbirthonlytotenchildren.WhydidHussainsayyouareamotherofhundred?’Ajjismiledandadjustingthepalluthatwasslippingoffherheadbecauseof

herbriskwalk,shesaid,‘Yes.Ihavegivenbirthonlytotenchildrenbutthesehandshavebroughtoutahundredchildreninourvillage.Akkavva,Iwillpray

thatyoubecomethemotherofahundredchildren,irrespectiveofthenumberyouyourselfgivebirthto.’

17

FoodforThought

Rekhaisaverydearfriendandourfamilieshaveknowneachotherforgenerations.SinceIhadn’tseenherforalongtime,Idecidedtovisither.Ipickedupthephoneanddialledhernumber.Herfather,Rao,whoislikeafathertome,pickedupthephone.‘Hello?’WeexchangedgreetingsandIsaid,‘Uncle,Iamcomingtoyourhousefor

lunchtomorrow.’Herfather,abotanist,wasveryhappy.‘Pleasedo.TomorrowisaSundayand

wecanrelaxalittlebit.Don’trunoffquickly!’hereplied.InacitysuchasBengaluru,goingfromJayanagartoMalleswaramona

weekdayusuallytakesaminimumoftwohours.TravellingonaSundayismucheasierbecauseittakesonlyhalfthetime.WhenIreachedherhomethenextday,Icouldsmellthatlunchwasalmostready,andyetthearomaswaftinginfromthekitchenindicatedtomethattheday’smenuwouldsomehowbedifferent.NoneofthetypicalKarnatakadisheswerelaidoutonthetable,andthecuisinewas,infact,quiteblandformytaste.‘ImaywearasimplesaributIamafoodie,Rekha!Isthelunchspecially

arrangedsothatIdon’tcomeagain?’Ijoked,asonecanwithanoldfriendwhowillnotmisunderstandandtakeoffence.Rekha’sfatherlaughedheartily.‘Well.’Hesighed.‘Todayismymother’s

shraddhaordeathanniversary.Onthisday,wealwaysprepareamealfrom

indigenousvegetables.’‘Whatdoyoumeanbyindigenous?’Iwasperplexed.‘Aren’tallthe

vegetablesavailableinourcountryindigenous,exceptperhapsoneslikecauliflower,cabbageandpotato?’‘OhmyGod!Youhavejustbroughtupthewrongtopiconthewrongdaywith

thewrongperson!’exclaimedRekhainmockdismay.‘Afterlunch,IthinkIshouldjustleaveyouwithmyfatherandjoinyoubothlaterintheevening.Thiswilltakeatleastfourhoursofyourtime.’IknewthatRekha’sfatherwasabotanist,butitwasthenthatIrealizedthat

hewaspassionateaboutthissubject.ThoughIhadknownhimforareallylongtime,Ihadneverseenthisfacetofhispersonalitybefore.Probably,hehadbeentoobusyduringhisworkingyearswhilewehadbeentoobusyplayingandfoolingaround.‘Isthisreallytrue,Uncle?’Iasked.Henodded.SinceIcomefromafarmer’sfamilyonmypaternalside,Ihavealwayshada

fascinationforvegetables.Iknewvaguelyaboutthethingswecouldgrow,theseasonstogrowtheminandtheonesthatwecouldnotgrow,includingthereasonswhy.However,wheneverIbroachedthesubjectwithfriendsinterestedinagricultureandfarming,Ineverreallyreceivedaproperanswer.Finally,herewasamanmorethanwillingtosharehisknowledgewithme!Icouldn’tresist.‘Youknow,Rekha,’Isaid,‘itisdifficulttogetknowledgeablepeopletospend

timeexplainingtheirsubjectmattertoothers.Today,Googleislikemygrandmother.IlogontothewebsiteanytimeIrequireanexplanationofsomethingIdon’tunderstandorwanttolearnabout.’‘Rightnow,youareloggingontoanencyclopedia,’Rekhasmiledand

glancedatherfatheraffectionately.Theconversationdriftedtoothersubjectsasweatelunch.Themeal

constitutedofrice,sambarwithoutchillies,dalwithblackpepperandnotchillies,gorikayi(clusterbeans),methisaag,cucumberraitaandricepayasam.Itwasaccompaniedbyudinvadawithblackpepper.Therewaspickleandsomeplainyogurtonthesidetoo.Afterwehadeatenthislunch,well-suitedforsomeonerecoveringinahospital,Rekha’sfathersaid,‘Come,let’sgotothegarden.’

Rekha’sfamilyownedanoldhouseonthecornerofastreet.HergrandfatherhadbeenintheBritishrailwaysandwasluckyenoughtobuythecornerplotatalowpriceandhadbuiltasmallhomewithalargegardenthere.InacitylikeBengaluru,filledwithapartmentsandsmallspaces,thegardenwassomethingofaprivilegeandaluxury.UncleandIwalkedtothegardenwhileRekhatookanap.Hesettledhimself

onabench,whileIlookedaround.Itwasaminiatureforestwithalargekitchengardenofcarrots,okra,fenugreekandspinach—eachsegregatedneatlyintosections.Afewsugar-canestalksshonebrightlyinfrontofuswhileadwarfpapayatreeheavywithfruitstoodinacorner.Ontheotherendwasalineofmaizeaswellasfloweringtreessuchastheparijata(theIndiancoraltree),androsesofvaryingcolours.‘UncleandAuntymustbespendingalotoftimeheremakingthisplace

beautiful,’Ithought.‘Allthetreesandplantsseemhealthy—almostasiftheyarehappytobehere!’‘DoyouthinkthatallthevegetableswehavearoundusarefromIndia?Orare

theyfromothercountries?’heaskedoutoftheblue.IfeltasifIwasbackinschoolinfrontofmyteacher.ButIwasn’tscared.

EvenifIgavehimawronganswer,itwasn’tgoingtoaffectmyprogressreport.‘Ofcourse,Uncle!Indiahasthelargestpopulationofvegetarians.So,intime,wehavelearnttomakedifferentkindsofvegetariandishes.Evenpeoplewhoeatmeatavoiditduringtraditionaleventssuchasfestivals,weddings,deathanniversariesandthemonthofShravana.’‘Iagreewithyourassessmentofeverything,exceptthatmostvegetablesare

growninIndia.Thetruthisthatthemajorityofourvegetablesarenotoursatall.Theyhavecomefromdifferentcountries.’Istaredathimindisbelief.Hepointedtoatomatoplant—acreeperwithmultiplefruits,tiedtoafirm

bamboostick.‘Lookatthis!IsthisanIndianvegetable?’Ithoughtoftomatosoup,tomatorasam,tomatobhat(tomato-flavouredrice),

sandwichesandchutney.‘Ofcourseitis.Weuseiteverysingleday.ItisanintegralpartofIndiancuisine.’Unclesmiled.‘Well,thetomatodidnotoriginateinIndia,butinMexico.It

madeitswaytoEuropein1554.Sincenobodyatetomatoesoverthereatthe

time,theybecameornamentalplantsbecauseofthebeautifuldeep-redcolour.Atsomepoint,therewasabeliefinEuropethatitwasgoodforcuringinfertility,whilesomethoughtthatitwaspoisonous.Thecontradictingperspectivesmadeitdifficultforthisfruittobeincorporatedintothelocaldietforalongtime.ItslackofvaluemusthavebeenarealpushforinitiatingSpain’stomatofestival,wheremillionsoftomatoesareusedeveryyeartothisday.Astorygoesthatonebusiness-savvyEuropeansurroundedhistomatoplantswithasturdy,thickfencetoshowhisneighboursthatthefruitswerenotpoisonous,butrathervaluableandthusdesirable.Gradually,thefruitsreachedIndiaandbegantobeusedasacommercialcrop,thankstoitstemptingcolourandtaste.ItmusthavecometousduringthereignoftheBritish.Buttoday,wecannotthinkofcookingwithouttomatoes.’‘Wow!’Ithought.Outloud,Isaid,‘Uncle,tellmeaboutanessentialitemthat

isusedinourcookingbutisn’tours.’‘Comeon,tryandguess.Wesimplycannotcookwithoutthisparticular

vegetable.’Iclosedmyeyesandthoughtofsambar,thatessentialsouthIndiandish,and

themutter-paneertypicalofthenorthIndiancuisine.Ittookmeawhiletothinkofacommoningredient—thechilli.Ibrushedmythoughtaway.‘No,there’snowaythatthechillicanbeanimportedvegetable.TherecanbenoIndianfoodwithoutit,’Ithought.Unclelookedatme.‘Youareright.Itisthechilli!’heexclaimedalmostasif

hehadreadmymind.‘Howdidyouknow?’‘Becausepeopleneverfailtobeshockedwhentheythinkofthepossibility

thatchillicouldbefromanothercountry.Icanseeitclearlyontheirfaceswhenthewheelsturninsidetheirhead.’Mydisbeliefwasobvious.Howcouldwecookwithoutchillies?Itisas

importantassaltinIndiancooking.‘Therearemanystoriesandmultipletheoriesaboutchillies,’Unclesaid.

‘WhenVascodaGamacametoIndia,hecamefromPortugalviaBrazilandbroughtmanyseedswithhim.Later,MarcoPoloandtheBritishcametoIndia.Thus,manymoreplantseedsarrived.Thetruthisthatwhatwecall“indigenous”isn’treallyours.Thinkofchillies,capsicum,corn,groundnut,cashews,beans,

potato,papaya,pineapple,custardapple,guavaandsapodilla—theyareallfromSouthAmerica.Overtime,weindigenizedthemandlearnthowtocookthem.Somesaythatthechillicamefromthecountryofthesamename,whilesomeotherssayitcamefromMexico.Accordingtoatheory,blackpepperwastheingredienttraditionallyusedinIndiatomakeourfoodhotandspicy.SomescholarsbelievethatthesolegoaloftheEastIndiaCompanywastoacquireamonopolyoverIndia’speppertrade,whichlaterendedinIndia’scolonization.Butwhenwebeganusingchillies,wefoundthatittastedbetterthanblackpepper.Togiveyouanexample,werefertoblackpepperaskalumenasuinKannada.Wegaveasimilarnametothechilliandcalleditmenasinkai.InHindi,itisfrequentlyreferredtoasmirchi.Inthewarbetweenblackpepperandchilli,theformerlostandchilliestablisheditselfasthenewprinceandcontinuestoruletheIndianfoodindustryeventoday.NorthKarnatakaisfamousforitsredchilliesnow.’‘ThatmuchIdoknow,Uncle!’Iclosedmyeyesandhadavisionofmy

youngerdays.‘Irememberseeingacresandacresofred-chilliplantsduringmychildhood.TheharvestusedtotakeplaceduringtheDiwaliseason.IrememberthatBadgidistrictwasdedicatedtothesaleofchillies.Ihadgonewithmyuncleonedayandwasamazedbythemountainsofred-chilliesIsawthere.’‘Ohyes,youareright!Thoseredchilliesarebrightredincolourbutthey

aren’treallyhotorspicy.Onthecontrary,chilliesthatgrowinthestateofAndhraPradeshintheareaofGunturareextremelyspicy.Theyarealittleroundedinshape,notasdeepredincolourandarecalledGunturchillies.Agoodcookusesacombinationofdifferentkindsofchilliestomakethedishdeliciousandattractive.Nowthat’swhatIcallindigenous.’‘Therewerealsotwootherkindsofchilliesinourfarm—onewasachilli

calledGandharorRavanachillithatgrowsupsidedownandtheotherone,ofcourse,wascapsicum.’Unclenodded.‘CapsicuminIndiaisnothingbutgreenorredbellpepperin

theWest.ButifyoueatonetinyRavanachilli,youwillhavetositinthebathroomwithyourbacksideinpainanddrinkmanybottlesofwaterforalong,longtime!Oryouwillhavetoeatfivehundredgramsofcandies,sweetsorchocolates.’Webothlaughed.

Hearingthelaughter,Rekha’smothercameandjoinedus.‘Areyoufolksjokingabouttoday’smenu?I’msorrythattherewasn’tmuchvariety.WhenIheardthatyouwerecomingforlunch,ItoldUncletoinformyouthattoday’sfoodwasgoingtobeblandandthatyoucouldcomeanotherSunday,buthesaidthatyouarelikefamilyandwouldn’tmindatall,’shesaidtome.Thatsparkedmyinterest.‘Tellmethereasonfortheblandfood,Aunty!’‘Wehaveamethodtothemadness,Iguess.Duringdeathanniversaries,wedo

notusevegetablesorspicesthathavecomefromothercountries.Hence,weuseingredientslikefenugreek,blackpepperandcucumber,amongothers.OurancestorswerescaredofusingnewvegetablesandnamedtheseimportsVishwamitrasrishti.’ThiswasthefirsttimethatIhadheardofsuchathing.‘Whatdoesthat

mean?’Auntysettledintoamakeshiftchairundertheguavatree.‘Thestorygoesthat

therewasakingcalledTrishankuwhowantedtogotoheavenalongwithhisphysicalbody.Withhisstrongpenanceandpowers,thesageVishwamitrawasabletosendhimtoheaven,butthegodspushedhimbackbecausetheywereworriedthatitwouldsetaprecedentforpeopletocomeinwiththeirphysicalbodies.Thatwasnottobeallowed.VishwamitratriedtopushTrishankuupwardsbutthegodspushedhimdown,likeagameoftugofwar.Intheend,VishwamitracreatedanewworldforTrishankuandcalleditTrishankuSwarga.Heevencreatedvegetablesthatbelongedneithertotheearthnorheaven.SovegetableslikeeggplantandcauliflowerarethecreationsofVishwamitra,whichmustnotbeusedatatimesuchasadearone’sdeathanniversary.’SilencefellbetweenusandIponderedoverAunty’sstory.Afterafew

minutes,IsawRekhacomingtowardsuswithsomebananasandorangesandaboxofwhatseemedtobedessert.‘Come,’shesaidtome,‘havesomething.Thebananaisfromourgardenand

thedessertismadefromhome-growningredientstoo!Youmustbe...’Uncleinterrupted,‘DoyouknowthatwemakesomanydessertsinIndiathat

aren’toriginaltoourcountry?’‘Appa,tellherthestoryoftheguavaandthebanana.Ireallylikethatone,’

Rekhasaid.Shesmiledasshehandedmeabanana.

Unclegrinned,pleasedtoimpartsomemoreknowledge.‘TheseedsofguavacamefromGoa,’hesaid.‘Sosomepeoplesaythat’showitwasnamed.InKannada,wecallitperalahannubecausewebelievethatitoriginatedinPeru,SouthAmerica.Letmetellyouastory.‘Durvasawasafamedshort-temperedsageinourancientepics.Hecursed

anyonewhodaredtorousehisanger.ThesagewasmarriedtoawomannamedKandali.Oneday,shesaidtohim,“Osage,peopleareterriblyafraidofyouwhileIhavelivedwithyouforsuchalongtime.Don’tyouthinkIdeserveagreatboonfromyou?”‘ThoughDurvasawasupsetatherwords,hedidnotcurseher.Hethought

seriouslyaboutwhatshehadsaidanddecidedthatshewasright.“Iwillgiveyouaboon.Butonlyone.Sothinkcarefully,”hesaid.‘Aftersomethought,shereplied,“Createafruitformethatisuniqueand

blessedwithbeautifulcolours.Thetreeshouldgrownotinheavenbutonearth.Itshouldhavetheabilitytogroweasilyeverywhereinourcountry.Itmustgivefruitsinbunchesandforthewholeyear.Thefruitmustnothaveanyseedsandmustnotcreateamesswhenweeatit.Whenitisnotripe,weshouldbeabletouseitasavegetableandonceitisripe,weshoulduseitwhileperformingpujas.Wemustbeabletouseallpartsofthetree.”‘Durvasawassurprisedandimpressedatthenumberofspecificationshiswife

wasgivinghim.Hewasusedtogivingcursesinangerandthenfiguringouttheirsolutionsoncehehadcalmeddown,butthisseeminglysimplerequestwasatestofhisintelligence.“Nowonderwomenarecleverer.Menlikemegetupsetquicklyandactbeforefullythinkingoftheconsequences,”hethought.‘ThesageprayedtoGoddessSaraswatitogivehimtheknowledgewithwhich

hecouldsatisfyhiswife’sdemand.Afterafewminutes,herealizedthathewouldbeabletofulfilhiswife’sdesire.Thushecreatedthebananatree,whichisfoundalloverIndiatoday.Everypartofthetree—theleaf,thebark,thestem,theflowersanditsfruitsareuseddaily.Rawbananacanbecookedwhiletheripebananacanbeeateneasilybypeelingoffitsskin.Itisalsoanessentialpartofworshiptothegods.Thefruitisseedlessandpresentsitselfasabunch.Amaturetreelivesforayearandsmallersaplingsarefoundaroundit.‘Kandaliwasecstaticandnamedtheplantkandari.Sheannounced,“Whoever

eatsthisfruitwillnotgetupset,despitethefactthatitwascreatedbymyshort-

temperedhusband.”‘Overaperiodoftime,peoplestartedusingthebananaextensivelyandloved

it.SlowlythenamekandarichangedtokadaliandthebananacametobeknownaskadaliphalainSanskrit.’Uncletookadeepbreathattheendofhisstory.Ismiled,amusedatthestorythatseemedtoresultfromfertileimagination.I

hadastrongurgetogrababananaandtookonefromtheplateinfrontofme.‘Youmayhavegivenmeblandfoodtoday,’Isaid,‘butIreallywantsomedessert.’Rekhaopenedthebox.Itwasfilledwithdifferentvarietiesofsweets.Isaw

gulabjamuns,jhangri(adeep-friedflour-baseddessert)andgulkand(arosepetal–basedpreserve).Ican’tresistgulabjamuns,soIimmediatelypickedoneupandpoppeditintomydroolingmouth.Itwassoftandsweet.‘Whatadessert!’Iremarked,amazedathowdeliciousitwas!‘NobodycanbeatusIndianswhenitcomestodesserts.Idon’tknowhowpeoplecanliveinothercountrieswithoutgulabjamuns.’‘Waitaminute,don’tmakesuchsweepingstatements,’saidRekha.‘Gulab

jamunisnotfromIndia.’‘Yeah,right,’Isaid,notconvincedatall.Beforeshecouldstopme,Igrabbed

anothergulabjamunandgulpeditdown.‘I’mserious.Alanguagescholaroncecametospeakinourcollege.Hetoldus

thatapartfromEnglish,weusemultiplePersian,ArabicandPortuguesewordsthatwearen’tevenawareof.GulabjamunisaPersianwordandisadishpreparedinIran.ItbecamepopularinIndiaduringtheMughalreignbecausethecourtlanguagewasPersian.Thesameistrueforjhangri,whichisakindofornamentwornonthewristandthejhangridesignresemblesit.’‘Youwillnowtellmethatevengulkandisfromsomewhereelse!’I

complainedloudly.Shegrinned.‘Youaren’twrong!GulkandisaPersianwordtoo—gulis

nothingbutroseandkandmeanssweet.Gul,infact,originatesfromthewordgulab,meaningrose.’Mybrainwasthoroughlyexhaustedwithallthisinformation.WhenIsawthe

oranges,Isaidwithpride,‘Iwillnotcallthisanorangenow,butitsKannadanamenarangi.’

Uncleclearedhisthroat.‘NarangiisanIndianwordbutitdoesnotoriginateinKarnataka.Itismadeupoftwowords—naar,whichmeansorangeorcolourofthesun,andrangi,meaningcolour.’Theconversationwasmakingmefeeltrulylost.‘Whenpeoplestayinoneplaceforsometime,’hecontinued,‘they

unknowinglyabsorbtheculturearoundthem,includingtheregionalfoodandlanguage.Attimes,weadoptthechangesintoourlocalcuisineandmakeitourown.That’sexactlywhathappenedwiththefoodswehavediscussed.’Iglancedatmywatch.Itwastimeformetoleave.Ithankedthemprofusely,

especiallyUncle,forenlighteningmeinawaythatevenGooglecouldnot.TherewasahugetrafficjamdespiteitbeingaSundayeveningasIsetoutfor

home,butIwasn’tboredontheway.Infact,IwashappytorecollectUncle’swordsandperhaps,asaresult,suddenlyrememberedanincident.Mymotherhadtwosisters.Thoughallthreesistersweremarriedtomenfrom

thesamestate,theirhusbands’jobswereindifferentareas—onelivedinsouthKarnatakaintheoldMysorestate,myparentslivedinMaharashtraandthethirdstayedintheflatlandsinaremotecornerofKarnataka.Aftertheirhusbandsretired,thethreesisterslivedinHubliinthesamearea.It

wasfuntomeetmycousinseverydayandeatmealstogether.Wecelebratedfestivalsasafamilyandthefoodwascookedinonehouse,thougheverybodybroughthome-cookeddessertsfromtheirownhouses.DuringoneparticularDiwali,wehadahostofdelicacies.Mymothermade

puriandshrikhand(apopulardishinMaharashtramadefromstrainedyogurtandsugar).MyauntfromMysoremadekishmishkheerandarice-basedmaincoursecalledbisibeleanna,whiletheotherauntmadegroundnut-basedsweetssuchasjaggery-basedstickychikkiandball-shapedladdus.Aschildren,mycousinsandIhadplentyoffuneatingthembutinthecar,I

realizedforthefirsttimethatallthesistershadabsorbedsomethingfromtheareathattheyhadlivedin.Despitetheirphysicalproximity,thefoodineachhouseholdwassodiverse.Icouldn’thelpbutwonderhowexcitingthefoodreallymustbeinthedifferentregionsofIndia.Ithoughtofpaneerpizzas,cheesedosasandtheIndian‘Chinese’food.They

musthaveoriginatedthesameway.WhoreallysaidthatIndiaisacountry?Itisacontinent—culturallyvibrant,diverseinfoodandyet,distinctlyIndianatheart.

18

BombaytoBangalore

Itwasthebeginningofsummer.IwasboardingtheUdyanExpressatGulbargarailwaystation.MydestinationwasBangalore.AsIboardedthetrain,Isawthatthesecond-classcompartmentwasjam-packedwithpeople.Thoughthecompartmentwasreserved,thereweremanyunauthorizedpeopleinit.ThissideofKarnatakaispopularlyknownasHyderabadKarnatakasincetheNizamofHyderabadonceruledthisarea.Thereisscarcityofwaterhere,whichmakesthelanddry,andthefarmerscannotgrowanythingduringsummer.Hence,manypoorfarmersandlandlesslabourersfromHyderabadKarnatakaimmigratetoBangaloreandotherbigcitiesduringthesummerforjobsinconstruction.Theyreturntotheirhomesintherainyseasontocultivatetheirlands.ThiswasApril,sothetraincompartmentwasparticularlycrowded.Isatdownandwaspushedtothecorneroftheberth.Thoughitwasmeantfor

threepeople,therewerealreadysixofussittingonit.IlookedaroundandsawstudentswhowereeagertocometoBangaloreandexploredifferentoptionstoenhancetheircareers.ThereweremerchantswhoweretalkingaboutwhatgoodstoorderfromBangalore.Somegovernmentofficers,though,werecriticizingGulbarga.‘Whataplace!Stayinghereisimpossiblebecauseoftheheat.Nowonderpeoplecallthisapunishmenttransfer!’Theticketcollectorcameinandstartedcheckingpeople’sticketsand

reservations.Itwasdifficulttoguesswhohadaticketandwhohada

reservation.Somepeoplehadticketsbutnoreservation.Thiswasanovernighttrainandpeopleneededsleeperberths,buttheywerelimitedinnumber.Peoplewhodidnothaveareservedberthwerebeggingtheticketcollectortoaccommodatethem‘somehow’.Itwasnexttoimpossibleforhimtolistentoeveryone.Withhiseagleeye,heeasilylocatedpeoplewhodidnothaveaticket.People

withoutticketswerepleading,‘Sir,theprevioustrainwascancelled.Wehadareservationonthattrain.Itisnotourfault.Wedon’twanttopayforthisticketagain.’Anotherpersonwasbegginghim:‘Sir,Iwaslatetothestationandtherewasabigqueue.Ididn’thavetimetobuyaticket.So,Igotintothiscompartment.’ThecollectormusthavereadtheBhagavadGitathoroughly;heremainedcalmwhilelisteningtotheirstoriesandkeptissuingnewticketsforticketlesspassengers.Suddenly,helookedinmydirectionandasked,‘Whataboutyourticket?’‘Ihavealreadyshownmytickettoyou,’Isaid.‘Notyou,madam,thegirlhidingbelowyourberth.Hey,comeout,whereis

yourticket?’Irealizedthatsomeonewassittingbelowmyberth.Whenthecollectoryelled

ather,thegirlcameoutofhiding.Shewasthin,dark,scaredandlookedlikeshehadbeencryingprofusely.Shemusthavebeenaboutthirteenorfourteenyearsold.Shehaduncombedhairandwasdressedinatornskirtandblouse.Shewastremblingandfoldedbothherhands.Thecollectoraskedagain,‘Whoareyou?Fromwhichstationdidyougeton?

Whereareyougoing?Icanissueafullticketforyouwithafine.’Thegirldidnotreply.Thecollectorwasgettingveryangrysincehehadbeen

dealingwithcountlessticketlesspassengers.Hetookouthisangeronthislittlegirl.‘Iknowallyourunaways,’heshouted.‘Youtakeafreerideintrainsandcausetremendousproblems.Youneitherreplytomyquestionsnorpayforyourticket.Ihavetoanswertomybosses...’Thegirlstilldidnotsayanything.Thepeoplearoundthegirlwerenot

botheredatallandwentabouttheirbusiness.SomewerecountingthemoneyfortheirticketandsomeweregettingreadytogetdownatWadiJunction,thenextstop.Peopleonthetopberthwerepreparingtosleepandotherswerebusywith

theirdinner.Thiswassomethingunusualforme,becauseIhadneverseensuchasituationinmyvastexperienceofsocialwork.Thegirlstoodquietlyasifshehadnotheardanything.Thecollectorcaught

holdofherarmsandtoldhertogetdownatthenextstation.‘Iwillhandyouovertothepolicemyself.Theywillputyouinanorphanage,’hesaid.‘Itisnotmyheadache.GetdownatWadi.’Thegirldidnotmove.Thecollectorstartedforciblypullingheroutfromthe

compartment.Suddenly,Ihadastrangefeeling.Istoodupandcalledouttothecollector.‘Sir,Iwillpayforherticket,’Isaid.‘Itisgettingdark.Idon’twantayounggirlontheplatformatthistime.’Thecollectorraisedhiseyebrowsandlookedatme.Hesmiledandsaid,

‘Madam,itisverykindofyoutooffertobuyheraticket.ButIhaveseenmanychildrenlikeher.Theygetinatonestation,thengetoffatthenextandboardanothertrain.Theybegortraveltotheirdestinationwithoutaticket.Thisisnotanexceptionalcase.Whydoyouwanttowasteyourmoney?Shewillnottravelevenwithaticket.Shemayleaveifyoujustgivehersomemoney.’Ilookedoutofthecompartment.ThetrainwasapproachingWadiJunction

andtheplatformlightswerebright.Vendorsoftea,juiceandfoodwererunningtowardsthetrain.Itwasdark.Myheartdidnotacceptthecollector’sadvice—andIalwayslistentomyheart.WhatthecollectorsaidmightbetruebutwhatwouldIlose—justafewhundredrupees?‘Sir,that’sfine.Iwillpayforherticketanyway,’Isaid.Iaskedthegirl,‘Willyoutellmewhereyouwanttogo?’Thegirllookedatmewithdisbelief.ItwasatthismomentthatInoticedher

beautiful,darkeyes,whichweregrief-stricken.Shedidnotsayaword.Thecollectorsmiledandsaid,‘Itoldyou,madam.Experienceisthebest

teacher.’Heturnedtothegirlandsaid,‘Getdown.’Thenhelookedatmeandsaid,‘Madam,ifyougivehertenrupees,shewill

bemuchhappierwiththatthanwiththeticket.’Ididnotlistentohim.Itoldthecollectortogivemeatickettothelast

destination,Bangalore,sothatthegirlcouldgetdownwherevershewanted.Thecollectorlookedatmeagainandsaid,‘Butshewon’tgetaberthandyou

willhavetopayapenalty.’

Iquietlyopenedmypurse.Thecollectorcontinued,‘Ifyouwanttopay,thenyoushouldpayforthe

ticketfromthetrain’sstartingpoint.’ThetrainoriginatedfromBombayVTandterminatedatBangalore.Ipaidup

quietly.Thecollectorissuedtheticketandleftindisdain.Thegirlwasleftstandinginthesameposition.Iaskedmyfellowpassengers

tomoveandgivethegirlsomespacetositdownbecauseshenowheldavalidticket.Theymovedveryreluctantly.Then,Iaskedthegirltositontheseat—butshedidnot.WhenIinsisted,shesatdownonthefloor.Ididnotknowwheretostarttheconversation.Iorderedamealforherand

whenthedinnerboxcame,shehelditinherhandsbutdidnoteat.Ifailedtopersuadehertoeatortalk.Finally,Igavethetickettoherandsaid,‘Look,Idon’tknowwhat’sonyourmindsinceyourefusetotalktome.So,here’stheticket.Youcangetdownwhereveryouwantto.’Asthenightprogressed,peoplestartedsleepingonthefloorandontheir

berths,butthegirlcontinuedtosit.WhenIwokeupatsixo’clockthenextmorning,shewasdozing.Thatmeant

thatshehadnotgotdownanywhere.HerdinnerboxwasemptyandIwashappythatshehadatleasteatensomething.AsthetrainapproachedBangalore,thecompartmentstartedgettingempty.

Again,Itoldhertositontheseatandthistimesheobliged.Slowly,shestartedtalking.ShetoldmethathernamewasChitra.ShelivedinavillagenearBidar.Herfatherwasacoolieandshehadlosthermotheratbirth.Herfatherhadremarriedandhadtwosonswithherstepmother.Butafewmonthsago,herfatherhaddied.Herstepmotherstartedbeatingheroftenanddidnotgiveherfood.Iknewfromhertorn,bloodstainedblouseandthemarksonherbodythatshewastellingthetruth.Shewastiredofthatlife.Shedidnothaveanybodytosupporthersoshelefthomeinsearchofsomethingbetter.Bythistime,thetrainhadreachedBangalore.IsaidgoodbyetoChitraandgot

downfromthetrain.Mydrivercameandpickedupmybags.Ifeltsomeonewatchingme.WhenIturnedback,Chitrawasstandingthereandlookingatmewithsadeyes.ButtherewasnothingmorethatIcoulddo.AsIstartedwalkingtowardsmycar,IrealizedthatChitrawasfollowingme.I

knewthatshedidnothaveanybodyinthewholeworld.Now,Iwasataloss.I

didnotknowwhattodowithher.IhadpaidherticketoutofcompassionbutIhadneverthoughtthatshewasgoingtobemyresponsibility!ButfromChitra’sperspective,Ihadbeenkindtoherandshewantedtoclingontome.WhenIgotintothecar,shestoodoutsidewatchingme.Iwasscaredforaminute.‘WhatamIdoing?’Iquestionedmyself.Iwas

worriedaboutthesafetyofagirlinWadiJunctionstation,butnowIwasleavingherinabigcitylikeBangalore—asituationworsethanthepreviousone.AnythingcouldhappentoChitrahere.Afterall,shewasagirl.Thereweremanywaysinwhichpeoplecouldexploithersituation.Itoldhertogetintomycar.Mydriverlookedatthegirlcuriously.Itoldhim

totakeustomyfriendRam’splace.Ramranseparateshelterhomesforboysandgirls.WeattheInfosysFoundationsupportedhimfinanciallyonaregularbasis.IthoughtChitracouldstaythereforsometimeandwecouldtalkaboutherfutureafterIcamebackfrommytoursinafewweeks.TherewereabouttengirlsintheshelterandthreeofthemwereofChitra’sage.Mostofthegirlstherealreadyknewme.AssoonasIreachedtheshelter,theladysupervisorcameouttotalktome.I

explainedthesituationandhandedChitraovertoher.ItoldChitra,‘Youcanstayherefortwoweeks.Don’tworry.Theseareverygoodpeople.Iwillcomeandseeyouaftertwoweeks.Don’trunawayfromhere,atleastuntilIcomeback.Talktoyourladysupervisor.YoucancallherAkka.’(AkkameanseldersisterintheKannadalanguage.)Ihandedoversomemoneytothesupervisorandtoldhertobuysomeclothesandothernecessarythingsforthegirl.Aftertwoweeks,Iwentbacktotheshelter.IwasnotsureifChitrawould

evenbethere.Buttomysurprise,IsawChitralookingmuchhappierthanbefore.Shewashavinggoodfoodforthefirsttimeinherlife.Shewaswearingnewclothesandwasteachinglessonstotheyoungerchildren.Assoonasshesawme,shestoodupeagerly.Thesupervisorsaid,‘Chitraisanicegirl.Shehelpsinourkitchen,cleanstheshelterandalsoteachestheyoungerchildren.Shetellsusthatshewasagoodstudentinhervillageandwantedtojoinhighschoolbutherfamilydidn’tallowhertodoso.Here,sheiscomfortableandwantstostudyfurther.Whatareyourplansforherfuture?Canwekeepherhere?’

Soon,Ramalsojoinedus.RamknewthewholestoryandsuggestedthatChitracouldgotoahighschoolnearby.IimmediatelyagreedandsaidthatIwouldsponsorherexpensesaslongasshecontinuedtostudy.IlefttheshelterknowingthatChitrahadfoundahomeandanewdirectioninherlife.Igotbusierwithmyworkandmyvisitstotheshelterreducedtoonceayear.

ButIalwaysinquiredaboutChitra’swell-beingoverthephone.Iknewthatshewasstudyingwellandthatherprogresswasgood.Yearswentby.Oneday,RamphonedmeandsaidthatChitrahadscored85

percentinhertenthclass.WhenIwenttothesheltertocongratulateandtalktoher,shewasveryhappy.Shewasgrowinguptobeaconfidentyoungwoman.Therewasbrightnessinherbeautiful,darkeyes.Iofferedtosponsorhercollegestudiesifshewantedtocontinuestudying.But

shesaid,‘No,Akka.Ihavetalkedtomyfriendsandmadeupmymind.IwouldliketodomydiplomaincomputersciencesothatIcanimmediatelygetajobafterthreeyears.’Itriedtopersuadehertogotocollegeforabachelor’sdegreeinengineeringbutshedidnotagree.Shewantedtobecomeeconomicallyindependentassoonaspossible.Somewhereinsideme,Iunderstoodwhereshewascomingfrom.Threerainyseasonspassed.Chitraobtainedherdiplomawithflyingcolours.

Shealsogotajobinasoftwarecompanyasanassistanttestingengineer.Whenshegotherfirstsalary,shecametomyofficewithasariandaboxofsweets.Iwastouchedbyhergesture.Later,Igottoknowthatshehadspentherentirefirstsalarybuyingsomethingforeveryoneattheshelter.Soonenough,Ramcalledmetodiscussanewproblem.‘Chitraisnowa

workinggirl.Soshecannotstayinthesheltersinceitisonlymeantforstudents.’ItoldRamthatIwouldtalktoChitraandaskhertopaytheshelterareasonableamountofmoneypermonthtowardsrent.Thiswayshecouldcontinuetostaythereuntilshegotmarried.Istronglyfeltthattheshelterwasasafeplaceforanunmarried,orphangirllikeChitra.Ramaskedme,‘Areyougoingtolookforaboyforher?’Thiswasanewandanevenbiggerproblem.Asherinformalguardian,Ihad

tofindaboyforChitraorsheherselfhadtofindalifepartner.Thiswasagreatresponsibility.NowonderpeoplesayIhaveapenchantforgettingintoproblems!ButGodalsoshowsmeuniquewaysofgettingoutofthem.Itold

Ram,‘Sheisonlytwenty-one.Letherworkforafewyears.Ifyoucomeacrossasuitableboy,pleaseletmeknow.’IcalledChitraandgavehermyopinionaboutherstayingattheshelter,and

shehappilyagreedtostayonandpayrent.Daysrolledby,andmonthsturnedintoyears.Oneday,whenIwasinDelhi,I

gotacallfromChitra.Shewasveryhappy.‘Akka,mycompanyissendingmetotheUS!IwantedtomeetyouandtakeyourblessingsbutyouarenothereinBangalore.’IwasecstaticforChitra.Isaid,‘Chitra,youarenowgoingtoadifferent

country.Takecareofyourselfandkeepintouch.Myblessingsarealwayswithyou.’Yearspassed.Occasionally,IreceivedanemailfromChitra.Shewasdoing

verywellinhercareer.ShewaspostedacrossseveralcitiesintheUSandwasenjoyinglife.Isilentlyprayedthatsheshouldalwaysbehappywherevershewas.Yearslater,IwasinvitedtodeliveralectureinSanFranciscoforKannada

Koota,anorganizationwherefamilieswhospeakKannadameetandorganizeevents.ThelecturewasinaconventionhallofahotelandIdecidedtostayatthesamehotel.Afterthelecture,Iwasplanningtoleavefortheairport.WhenIcheckedoutofthehotelroomandwenttothereceptioncountertopaythebill,thereceptionistsaid,‘Madam,youdon’tneedtopayusanything.Theladyovertherehasalreadysettledyourbill.Shemustknowyouprettywell.’IturnedaroundandfoundChitrathere.Shewasstandingwithayoungwhite

manandworeabeautifulsari.Shewaslookingveryprettywithshorthair.Herdarkeyeswerebeamingwithhappinessandpride.Assoonasshesawme,shegavemeabrilliantsmile,huggedmeandtouchedmyfeet.Iwasoverwhelmedwithjoyanddidnotknowwhattosay.‘Chitra,howareyou?Ihavenotseenyouforages.Whatasweetsurprise.

HowdidyouknowthatIwillbeinthiscitytoday?’‘Akka,Iliveinthiscityandcametoknowthatyouaregivingalectureatthe

localKannadaKoota.Iamalsoamemberthere.Iwantedtosurpriseyou.Itisnotdifficulttofindoutaboutyourschedule.’‘Chitra,Ihavesomanyquestionstoaskyou.Howiswork?Haveyouvisited

India?Andmoreimportantly,haveyoufoundMrRight?Andwhydidyoupay

myhotelbill?’‘No,Akka.Ihaven’tcometoIndiasinceIleft.IfIcometoIndia,howcanI

returnwithoutmeetingyou?Akka,Ihavesomethingtotellyou.Iknowthatyouwerealwaysworriedaboutmymarriage.Youneveraskedmeaboutmycommunity.Butyoualwayswantedmetosettledown.Iknowitishardforyoutochooseaboyforme.Now,IhavefoundmyMrRight.Pleasemeetmycolleague,John.Wearegettingmarriedattheendoftheyear.Youmustcomeforourweddingandblessus.’IwasveryhappytoseethewaythingshadturnedoutforChitra.ButIcame

backtomyoriginalquestion.‘Chitra,whydidyoupaymyhotelbill?Thatisnotright.’Withtearsinhereyesandgratitudeonherface,shesaid,‘Akka,ifyouhadn’t

helpedme,Idon’tknowwhereIwouldhavebeentoday—maybeabeggar,aprostitute,arunawaychild,aservantinsomeone’shouse...orImayevenhavecommittedsuicide.Youchangedmylife.Iamevergratefultoyou.’‘No,Chitra.Iamonlyonestepinyourladderofsuccess,’Isaid.‘Thereare

manystepswhichledyoutowhereyouaretoday—theshelterwhichlookedafteryou,theschoolswhichgaveyougoodeducation,thecompanywhichsentyoutoAmericaand,aboveall,itisyou—adeterminedandinspiredgirlwhomadeyourlifeyourself.Onestepshouldneverbegivenallthecreditfortheendresult.’‘Thatisyourthinking,Akka.Idifferwithyou,’shesaid.‘Chitra,youarestartinganewlifeandyoushouldsavemoneyforyournew

family.Whydidyoupaymyhotelbill?’ChitradidnotreplybuttoldJohntotouchmyfeet.Then,suddenlysobbing,

shehuggedmeandsaid,‘BecauseyoupaidformyticketfromBombaytoBangalore!’

19

MiserableSuccess

Vishnuwasayoung,brightandambitiousstudentfromthefirstbatchIevertaughtatcollege.Somyrelationshipwithhimwascloserthanthatwithmystudentsfromsubsequentbatches.Hewascharming,communicativeandclearinhisthinking.Incollege,weusedtohavelongargumentsondifferentissuesandweusedto

agreetodisagreeonmanymatters.Iusedtotellhim,‘Vishnu,Ihaveseenmanymoreseasonsthanyou.Withmyexperienceinlife,Iwanttotellyouthathavinggoodrelationships,compassionandpeaceofmindismuchmoreimportantthanachievements,awards,degreesormoney.’Vishnuwouldargueback:‘Madam,yourstomachisfullandyouhave

achievedeverything.Hence,youarecomfortableinlifeandcansaythat.Youhavereceivedmanyawards,soyoudon’tcareforthemandyouarenotambitious.Youwillneverunderstandpeoplelikeme.’Then,Iusuallyjustsmiledathim.Ilikedhimforhisopenness.Vishnuwasalsoverygoodatteaching.Hecompletedhisdegreeandgotan

excellentjobinMicrosoftinSeattle,USA.Hewasawaitinghisvisatogoabroad.Itoldhimtoteachatmycollegewhilehewaswaiting.WheneverIcouldnotattendthelaboratorysessions,Itoldhimtotakechargeofthejuniorlabandbemysubstitute.Hebecameverypopularwiththestudents.

IaskedVishnu,‘Youareverygoodatteaching.Whydon’tyouseriouslythinkofbecomingaprofessor?’Hesaid,‘MymonthlysalaryintheUSismorethanateacher’sannualsalary

here.WhywouldIwanttobecomeaprofessor?’‘Vishnu,don’tbesorude.Ateacherisnotrespectedforthesalarybutforhis

orherknowledgeandteaching.Ifyoudon’trespecttheteachingprofession,thatisfine,butdon’tmakesuchacomparison.’Soon,Vishnuleftthecountryonhisnewassignment.Manyyearspassedandadecaderolledby.Mystudents,whowereonce

young,werenowmiddle-agedandIhadgonefrommiddleagetooldage.Oneday,mysecretarytoldmethatsomeonecalledVishnuwantedtomeet

me.Bythistime,IknewmanyVishnusandwasnotabletoplacehimatonce.Shesaidthathewasastudentfrommyfirstbatchofstudents.NowIrecognizedhiminstantlyandtoldhertosetupanappointment.Afterall,oldwine,oldmemoriesandoldstudentsarepreciousinlife.Onthedayoftheappointment,Vishnuwalkedinrightontime.Hehadless

hairthanbeforeandsomeofthemweregrey.Hehadputonweight.Hewaswearinganexpensiveshirtandtherewasaplatinumdiamondringonhisfinger.Butalas,hisfacewaslikeadriedtomato.Therewasnotatraceofenthusiasmonit.Onthecontrary,Icouldseesomelinesofworryonhisface.HesatinfrontofmeandIorderedhimacupoftea.Vishnulookedatmeand

said,‘Madam,youlookreallyoldnow.’Ismiledandsaid,‘Timeandtidewillwaitfornoone.’Buthedidnotsmile

back.‘Howareyou,Vishnu?’Iasked.‘Ihaven’tmetyouforfifteenyears.Itisveryniceofyoutorememberyouroldteacherandcometoseeme.Whereareyou?Whatareyoudoingnow?AreyoustillwithMicrosoft?’‘No,madam.IleftMicrosoftafterthreeyears,’repliedVishnu.‘Nowonderpeoplesaythatifsomeonestaysinasoftwarecompanyformore

thanthreeyears,heisaloyalperson!’Hedidnotrespondtomyjoke.‘Sowhereareyounow?’Iaskedagain.‘IownacompanyinSingapore.Twohundredpeopleworkforme.Wemake

verygoodprofit.’IfeltVishnu’svoicehadthatprideofachievement,whichwasverynatural.‘SoyouhavesettledinSingapore?’

‘Notreally,IcometoIndiaquiteoftenbecauseofwork.IhaveahouseinVasantViharinDelhi,aflatinWorliinMumbai,abungalowinRajMahalVilasExtensioninBangalore,afarmonBannerghattaRoad...’Istoppedhim.‘Vishnu,Ididn’taskyouaboutyourassets.Iamnotan

income-taxperson.Ijustwantedtoknowwhereyounormallystay.’Iwaspullinghisleg,yethedidnotsmile.‘Vishnu,youhavetoldmeenoughaboutyourfinancialassets,’Icontinued.

‘Nowtellmeaboutyourmaritalstatus.Areyoumarried?Howmanychildrendoyouhave?Whatdotheydo?’Usually,amotherandateachergettheautomaticauthoritytoposethesequestionstoherchildrenandstudents.Iamnoexception.SomepeoplemindmyquestionsbecauseitistheirpersonallifeandIgetthehintandstop.Butmostpeoplehappilytellmeabouttheirlife.‘Yes,Iammarried.Ihaveaneight-year-olddaughter,’hesaid.Vishnupulledouthiswalletandshowedmehisfamilyphoto.Whenhewasin

college,heusedtogooutwithBhagya,agirljuniortohim.Buttheladyinthephotographwasdifferent.Shewasstunninglybeautiful,likeamodel,andhisdaughterwascute.Ifeltthathislifewasapicture-perfectpostcard.Hewassuccessful,rich,hada

veryprettywifeandadaughter.Whatelsecanonewantinlife?Withthiskindofsuccess,heshouldbeveryhappyandenthusiastic—buthewasnot.Ididnotknowthereason,butIknewthathewouldtellme.IstoppedtalkingandallowedVishnutospeak.Slowly,Vishnuopenedup.‘Madam,Ihaveaproblem.Ihavecometotalkto

you.’‘Whatproblem?AndwhydoyouthinkIhavethesolution?Actually,a

successfulpersonlikeyoushouldhelpanoldteacherlikeme,’Ijokedtoreducethetension.‘Itisnothingtodowithsuccess,madam.Forthelastfewyears,Ihavebeen

feelingverysad.IfeellikeIammissingsomethinginlife.Ican’tpinpointexactlywhatitis,’hesaid.‘Nothingmakesmehappy.Nothingevenmovesmeortouchesmyheart,evenifIseeaheart-wrenchingincident.IfeelthatIamtravellinginadesertwithoutwaterandtheroadsarepavedwithgoldandsilver...’Iaskedhimdirectly,‘Haveyouseenadoctororacounsellor?’

‘OfcourseIhave.Theysaidthatacompassionateheartisimportanttoenjoylife.Theytoldmetoreadbooksandadvisedmetotryandbehappybydoingthingssuchaslookingatthesunrise,listeningtothebirds,takinglongwalksandexercisingregularly.’‘Well,whathappened?’‘Ilostweightwithalltheactivitiesbutotherwisethingsdidn’timprove.I

wentbacktoacounselloragain.HetoldmetogotoSomaliaonatrip.’‘WhySomalia?’Iwassurprised.‘IknowthattherearetripstoEurope,Hong

KongandBangkok.ButIhaveneverheardofatriptoSomalia.Tellme,didyougothere?WhatdidyoudoinSomalia?’Iwascurious.‘Oh,theytookustoorphanages,HIVcampsandcampsofchildrensuffering

frommalnutrition.Butnothinghappened.Istilldidn’tfeelanything.Onthecontrary,mymindwasbusycalculatinghowSomaliacouldexporttoAmericaorotherEuropeannations.Whatwouldyouhavedoneinmyplace,madam?’hequestionedme.‘Don’tputmeinyourshoes.WhatIwoulddoislefttomeandyoudon’thave

todothesamething.Whycan’tyoutalktosomeonewhoisverydeartoyou—maybeafriendoryourwifeorsomeonefromyouragegroup?Theymightbeabletogiveyouabettersolution.Afterall,thereisagenerationgapbetweenus.’Hewasquiet.Thenhesaid,‘Madam,allmylife,Ihavecalculatedandmade

friendships.Ihaveneverspenttimewithpeoplewhoaren’tusefultomeinsomeway.Afterall,lifeisamerciless,competitivefield.Everymoveshouldtakemeonestephigherontheladderofsuccess.’Ithoughttomyself,‘NowIknowwhyBhagyawasreplacedbythemodel

wife.’‘Howmuchtimedoyouspendwithyourfamily?’‘Mydaughterisfriendlybutsheisnicetomeonlywhenshewantssomething

fromme.Sometimes,Ifinditverystrange.Achildlooksbeautifulonlywithinnocencebutmydaughterismorepractical.Mywifeisverybusywiththecarpetbusinessthatsheinheritedfromherfather.Shedoesn’thaveanytimetotalktomeandmydaughter,eventhoughsheworksfromhomemostofthetime.’

Hestoppedforasecondandcontinued,‘OrmaybeIthinkthatway.Mywifewantstogetallmycontactsandclientssothatshecanexpandherbusiness.Iammoreofadatabasetoherthanacompanion.’IunderstoodVishnu’sproblem.Sometimes,itisverydifficulttotalkwith

yourownfamily.Iwastouchedthathefeltsafecomingtome.Buthewasexpectingaquickfixfromme.Iwaswillingtolistentohisproblem,butthatdidnotmeanthatIalsohadthesolution.Vishnucontinued,‘Madam,tellme,howdoIbecomecompassionate?How

doIbuildastrongfamily?HowcanIenjoythesunriseandthemoonlight?Howmuchtimedoesittaketogetallthesequalities?Arethereanybooksoracrashcourseorpeoplewhocanteachme?Idon’tcareaboutthecostbutitshouldn’ttakemonthstogether.’Iwasshockedbyhisapproach.‘Vishnu,compassioncannotbetaught,soldor

bought,’Isaid.‘Thereisnotimelimiteither.Itisoneofthecharacteristicsthatyouhavetodevelopfromthebeginning.Understandthatlifeisajourney.Inthatshortjourney,ifyoucanshowcompassiontoothers,showitnow.Ourancestorshavealwaystalkedaboutthemiddlepathforareason.Thatpathmakesapersonstable,happyandcontent.Vishnu,youaretherolemodelforyourchildren.Childrenwillbewhattheysee.Whatyouhavedone,yourdaughterhascopied.’Vishnusighedandsaid,‘Yes,madam.Iunderstandwhatyouaresaying.Iwill

takemydaughterandworkwithpoorpeopleonaregularbasisalongwithher.Thatwillalsohelpusbond.IamhopingthatitwillmakemeabetterhumanbeingandIwillbeabletofeelworthyagain.NowIknowwhatbroughtmetoyou.Icannotthankyouenough.’Vishnuleftmyofficewithhopeinhisheartandasmileonhisface.

20

HowtoBeattheBoys

Recently,whenIvisitedtheUS,Ihadtospeaktoacrowdofbothstudentsandhighlysuccessfulpeople.Ialwayspreferinteractingwiththeaudience,soIopenedthefloortoquestions.Afterseveralquestionswereasked,amiddle-agedmanstooduptospeak.

‘Madam,youareveryconfidentandclearincommunicatingyourthoughts.Youareabsolutelyateasewhiletalkingtous...’Iwasdirect.‘Pleasedon’tpraiseme.Askmeyourquestion.’‘IthinkyoumusthavestudiedabroadordoneyourMBAfromauniversityin

theWest.Isthatwhatgivesyousuchconfidence?’heasked.Withoutwastingasecond,Ireplied,‘ItcomesfrommyB.V.B.’Heseemedpuzzled.‘Whatdoyoumean—myB.V.B.?’Ismiled.‘I’mtalkingabouttheBasappaVeerappaBhoomaraddiCollegeof

EngineeringandTechnologyinHubli,amedium-sizedtowninthestateofKarnatakainIndia.IhaveneverstudiedoutsideofIndia.TheonlyreasonIstandherebeforeyouisbecauseofthatcollege.’Inalightervein,Icontinued,‘I’msurethattheyoungpeopleinthesoftware

industrywhoarepresentheretodaywillappreciatethecontributionofInfosystoIndiaandtotheUS.InfosyshasmadeBengaluru,KarnatakaandIndiaproud.HadInotbeeninB.V.B.,Iwouldnothavebecomeanengineer.IfIwasn’tanengineer,thenIwouldn’thavebeenabletosupportmyhusband.Andifmy

husbanddidn’thavehisfamily’sbacking,hemayormaynothavehadthechancetoestablishInfosysatall!Inthatcase,allofyouwouldn’thavegatheredheretodaytohearmespeak.’Everyoneclappedandlaughed,butIreallymeantwhatIsaid.Afterthe

sessiongotoverandthecrowdleft,Ifelttiredandchosetositaloneonacouchnearby.Mymindwentbackto1968.Iwasaseventeen-year-oldgirlwithan

abundanceofcourage,confidenceandthedreamtobecomeanengineer.Icamefromaneducated,thoughmiddle-class,conservativeBrahminfamily.MyfatherwasaprofessorofobstetricsandgynaecologyattheKarnatakaMedicalCollegeatHubli,whilemymotherwasaschoolteacherbeforeshegotmarried.Ifinishedmypre-universityexamswithexcellentmarksandtoldmyfamily

thatIwantedtopursueengineering.Ihadalwaysbeenfascinatedwithscience,evenmoresowithitsapplication.Engineeringwasoneofthosebranchesofsciencethatwouldallowmetoutilizemycreativity,especiallyindesign.ButitwasasifIhaddroppedabombinsideourhouse.Theimmediatereactionwasofshock.Engineeringwasclearlyanall-male

domainandhenceconsideredatabooforgirlsinthosedays.Therewasnoquestioningthestatusquo,whereingirlswereexpectedtobeinthecompanyofotherfemalestudentsinamedicalorsciencecollege.Theideaofawomanenteringtheengineeringfieldhadpossiblyneverpoppedupinanyone’smind.Itwasakintoexpectingpigstofly.Iwasmygrandmother’sfavouritegranddaughter,butevenshelookedatme

withdisdainandsaid,‘Ifyougoaheadanddothis,nomanfromnorthKarnatakawillmarryyou.Whowantstomarryawomanengineer?Iamsodisappointedinyou.’MygrandmotherneverthoughtthatIwoulddoanythingshedisapprovedof.However,shealsodidn’tknowthatinthecityofMysore,acrosstheriverofTungabhadra,livedamannamedNarayanaMurthywhowouldlaterwanttomarryme.Mygrandfather,ahistoryteacherandmyfirstguruwhotaughtmereading

andwriting,onlymildlyopposedit.‘Mychild,youarewonderfulathistory.Whycan’tyoudosomethinginthisfield?Youcouldbeagreatscholaroneday.Don’tchaseadrysubjectlikeengineering.’

Mymother,whowasextremelyproficientinmathematics,said,‘Youaregoodatmaths.Whydon’tyoucompleteyourpost-graduationinmathematicsandgetajobasaprofessor?Youcaneasilyworkinacollegeafteryougetmarriedinsteadofbeingahardcoreengineerstrugglingtobalancefamilyandwork.’Myfather,aliberalmanwhobelievedineducationforwomen,thoughtfora

momentandsaid,‘Ithinkthatyoushouldpursuemedicine.Youareexcellentwithpeopleandlanguages.Totellyouthetruth,Idon’tknowmuchaboutengineering.Wedon’thaveasingleengineerinourfamily.Itisamale-dominatedindustryandyoumaynotfindanothergirlinyourclass.Whatifyouhavetospendfouryearswithoutarealfriendtotalkto?Thinkaboutit.However,thedecisionisyoursandIwillsupportyou.’ManyofmyauntsalsothoughtthatnoonewouldmarrymeifIchose

engineering.Thiswouldpossiblyentailmymarryingsomebodyfromanothercommunity,anabsolutelyunheard-ofthinginthosedays.However,Ididn’tcare.Asastudentofhistory,IhadreadHiuenTsang’sbook

Si-Yu-Ki.BeforeTsang’straveltoIndia,everybodydiscouragedhimfrommakingthejourneyonfoot,butherefusedtolistenanddecidedtogo.Intime,hebecamefamousforhisseventeen-year-longjourneytoIndia.TakingcouragefromTsang,Itoldmyfamily,‘Iwanttodoengineering.Comewhatmay,Iamreadyfortheconsequencesofmyactions.’IfilledouttheapplicationformforB.V.B.CollegeofEngineeringand

Technology,submitteditandsoonreceivedthenewsthatIhadbeenselectedonthebasisofmymarks.Iwasecstatic,butlittledidIknowthatthecollegestaffwasdiscomfitedbythisdevelopment.TheprincipalatthetimewasB.C.Khanapure,whohappenedtoknowmy

father.Theybothmetatabarbershoponedayandtheprincipalexpressedhisgenuineanguishatwhatheperceivedtobeanawkwardsituation.Hetoldmyfather,‘DoctorSahib,Iknowthatyourdaughterisveryintelligentandthatshehasbeengivenadmissiononlybecauseofmerit,butI’mafraidwehavesomeproblems.Shewillbetheonlygirlincollege.Itisgoingtobedifficultforher.First,wedon’thavealadies’toiletoncampus.Wedon’thavealadies’roomforhertorelaxeither.Second,ourboysareyoungwithraginghormonesandIamsurethattheywilltroubleher.Theymaynotdoanythinginfrontofthestaffbuttheywilldefinitelydosomethinglater.Theymaynotcooperatewithherorhelp

herbecausetheyarenotusedtotalkingtogirls.Asafatheroffourdaughters,Iamconcernedaboutyourstoo.Canyoutellhertochangehermindforherownsake?’Myfatherreplied,‘Iagreewithyou,ProfessorSahib.Iknowyoumeanwell,

butmydaughterishell-bentonpursuingengineering.Frankly,she’snotdoinganythingwrong.SoIhavedecidedtoletherpursueit.’‘Inthatcase,DoctorSahib,Ihaveasmallrequest.Pleaseaskhertoweara

saritocollegeasitisaman’sworldoutthereandthesariwillbeanappropriatedressfortheenvironmentshewillbein.Sheshouldnottalktotheboysunnecessarilybecausethatwillgiverisetorumoursandthat’snevergoodforagirlinoursociety.Also,tellhertoavoidgoingtothecollegecanteenandspendingtimetherewiththeboys.’Myfathercamebackandtoldmeaboutthisconversation.Ireadilyagreedto

alloftherequestssinceIhadnointentionofchangingmymind.Eventually,Iwouldbecomefriendlywithsomeoftheboys,butIalways

knewwheretodrawtheline.Thetruthisthatitwasthesesameboyswhowouldteachmesomeoflife’slessonslater,suchasthevalueofkeepingasenseofperspective,theimportanceoftakingiteasyeverynowandthenandbeingagoodsport.Manyoftheboys,whoarenowoldergentlemen,arelikemybrothersevenafterfiftyyears!Finally,itwasthelackofladies’toiletsoncampusthatmademeunderstandthedifficultyfacedbymanywomeninIndiaduetotheinsufficiencyorsheerabsenceoftoilets.Eventually,thiswouldleadmetobuildmorethan13,000toiletsinKarnatakaalone!Meanwhile,mymotherchoseanauspiciousdayformetopaythetuitionfee.

ItwasaThursdayandhappenedtobetheendofthemonth.MymothernaggedmetopaythefeeofRs400thatdayalthoughmyfatheronlyhadRs300left.Hetoldher,‘Waitforafewdays.IwillgetmysalaryandthenSudhacanpayherfees.’Mymotherrefusedtobudge.‘Ourdaughterisgoingtocollege.Itisabig

deal.Wemustpaythefeestoday—itwillbegoodforherstudies.’Whiletheywerestillgoingbackandforth,myfather’sassistant,DrS.S.

Hiremath,camealongwithhisfather-in-law,Patil,whowastheheadmanofBaadvillagenearShiggaon,thetownwhereIwasborn.Patilcuriouslyaskedwhatwasgoingonandmyfatherexplainedthesituationtohim.Hethentook

outhiswalletandgavemyfatherahundredrupees.Hesaid,‘DoctorSahib,pleaseacceptthismoney.Iwanttogiftittothisgirlwhoisdoingsomethingpath-breaking.Ihaveseenparentstakeloansandselltheirhousesorfarmstopaytheirsons’feessothattheycanbecomeengineers.Infact,sometimes,theydon’tevenknowwhethertheirchildwillstudyproperlyornot.Lookatyourdaughter.ShedesperatelywantstodothisandIthinksheisright.’‘No,MrPatil,’myfatherrefused.‘Ican’ttakesuchanexpensivegift.Iwill

acceptthisasaloanandreturnittoyounextmonthafterIreceivemysalary.’Patilcontinuedasthoughhehadn’theardmyfather,‘Themostimportant

thingisforyourdaughtertodoherbestandcompletehercourseandbecomeamodelforothergirls.’Thenheturnedtomeandsaid,‘Sudha,promisemethatyouwillalwaysbeethical,impartialandhard-workingandthatyouwillbringagoodnametoyourfamilyandsociety.’Inoddedmeekly,suddenlyhumbled.Myfirstdayofcollegearrivedamonthlater.Iworeawhitesariforthefirst

time,touchedthefeetofalltheeldersathomeandprayedtoGoddessSaraswatiwhohadbeenverykindtome.Ithenmademywaytothecollege.AssoonasIreached,theprincipalcalledmeandgavemeakey.Hesaid,

‘Here,MsKulkarni,takethis.Thisisthekeyofatinyroominthecorneroftheelectricalengineeringdepartmentonthesecondfloor.Youcanusethisroomwheneveryouwant.’Ithankedhimprofusely,tookthekeyandimmediatelywenttoseetheroom.I

openedthedoorexcitedly,butalas!Theroomhadtwobrokendesksandtherewasnosignofatoilet.ItwassodustythatIcouldnotevenconsiderenteringit.Seeingmethere,acleanercamerunningwithabroominhishand.Withoutlookingatme,hesaid,‘I’msosorry.PrincipalSahibtoldmeyesterdaythatagirlstudentwasgoingtojointhecollegetoday,butIthoughtthathewasjoking.SoIdidn’tcleantheroom.Anyway,Iwilldoitrightnow.’Afterhehadfinishedcleaning,Istillfeltthattheroomwasdusty.Calmly,I

toldhim,‘Leavethebroomhereandgivemeawetcloth,please.Iwillcleantheroommyself.’Aftercleaningtheroomtomysatisfaction,Ibrushedoffthedustonmy

clothesandwenttoclass.

WhenIenteredtheroomonthegroundfloor,therewere149pairsofeyesstaringatmeasthoughIweresomekindofanexoticanimal.Itwastruethough.Iwasthe150thanimalinthiszoo!IknewthatsomeofthemwantedtowhistlebutIkeptastraightfaceandlookedaroundforaplacetosit.Thefirstbenchwasempty.AsIwasabouttositthere,Isawthatsomeonehadspiltblueinkrightinthemiddleoftheseat.Thiswasobviouslymeantforme.Ifelttearsthreateningtospillover,butIblinkedthemaway.Makinguseofthenewspaperinmyhand,Iwipedtheseatcleanandsatonacornerofthebench.Icouldheartheboyswhisperingbehindme.Onegrumbled,‘Whythehelldid

youputinkontheseat?Nowshemaygoandcomplaintotheprincipal.’Anotherboyreplied,‘HowcansheprovethatIhavedoneit?Thereare149of

ushere.’Despitefeelinghurt,Ididnotgototheprincipaltocomplain.Hehadalready

warnedmyfatherthatifIcomplained,theseboysmightpersistintroublingmefurtherandImayeventuallyhavetoleavethecollege.So,Idecidedtokeepquietnomatterhowmuchtheseboystriedtoharassme.ThetruthwasthatIwasafraidofbeingsotroubledbytheboys’activitiesthat

Iwouldquitengineeringaltogether.Ithoughtofwaystostaystrong—physicallyandmentally.Itwouldbemytapas,orpenance.Inthatinstant,Iresolvedthatforthenextfouryears,Iwouldneithermissanyclassnoraskanyoneforhelpwithclassnotes.Inanefforttoteachmyselfself-restraintandself-control,IdecidedthatuntilIcompletedmyengineeringdegree,Iwouldwearonlywhitesaris,refrainfromsweets,sleeponamatandtakebathswithcoldwater.Iaimedtobecomeself-sufficient;Iwouldbemybestfriendandmyworstenemy.Ididn’tknowthenthatsuchaquotealreadyexistedintheBhagavadGitawhereKrishnasays,‘Atmaaivahiatmanobandhuaatmaaivaripuatmanah’.Wereallydon’tneedsuchpenancetodowellinourstudies,butIwasyoung

anddeterminedandwantedtodoallIcouldtosurviveengineering.Ihadgoodteacherswhowereconsiderateandsoughttolookoutformein

class.Theywouldoccasionallyask,‘MsKulkarni,iseverythingokaywithyou?’Evenourcollegeprincipal,ProfessorKhanapure,wentoutofhiswayto

inquireaboutmywelfareandifanyboysweretroublingme.However,Ican’tsaythesameaboutmyclassmates.

Oneday,theybroughtasmallbunchofflowersandstuckitinmyplaitedhairwithoutmyknowledgewhentheteacherwasnotaround.Iheardsomeoneshoutfromtheback—‘MsFlowerpot!’Iquietlyranmyfingersthroughmyhair,foundtheflowersandthrewthemaway.Ididnotsayanything.Attimes,theywouldthrowpaperairplanesatmyback.Onunfoldingthe

papers,Iwouldfindcommentssuchas,‘Awoman’splaceisinthekitchenorinmedicalscienceorasaprofessor,definitelynotinanengineeringcollege.’Otherswouldread,‘Wereallypityyou.Whyareyouperformingpenancelike

GoddessParvati?AtleastParvatihadareasonforit.ShewantedtomarryShiva.WhoisyourShiva?’Iwouldkeepthepaperplanesandrefrainfromreplying.Therewasafamousstudent-friendlyactivityinourcollegeknownas

‘fishpond’.Ratherthananactualfishpond,itwasafishbowlthatcarriedacollectionofanonymousnotes,orthe‘fish’.Anybodyfromthecollegecouldwriteacommentoranopinionthatwouldbereadoutlateronourcollegeannualday.Allthestudentswouldeagerlywaittohearwhatfunnyandwittyremarkshadbeenselectedthatyear.Thedesignatedhostwouldstandonthestageinthecollegequadrangleandreadthenotesoutloud.Everyyear,mostofthenoteswereaboutme.IwasoftenthetargetofKannadalimericks,oneofwhichIcanstillremembervividly:

Avvaavvagenasa,

Kariseeriudisa,

Gandanamanegekalisa.

Thisliterallytranslatesto:Mom,Mom,thereisasweetpotato,

Pleasegivemeablacksariandsendmetomyhusband’shouse,

ThisisbecauseI’malwayswearingawhitesari.

SomeoftheromanticnorthIndianboyswouldmodifythelyricsofsongsfrommovieslikeTeesriKasam:

Sajanrejhootmathbolo

Sudhakepassjaanahai

Nahaathihainaghodahai

Vahanpaidaljaanahai.

Thiscanbetranslatedas:Dear,comeon,don’tlie

IwanttogotoSudha

Ineitherhaveanelephantnorahorse

ButIwillgowalking(toher).

Alltheboyswouldthensneakaglanceatmetoseemyreaction,butIwouldsimplyholdbackmytearsandtrymyhardesttosmile.Iknewthatmyclassmateswereactingoutforareason.Itwasnotthatthey

wantedtobullyorharassmewithdeliberateintentionasisthenormthesedays.Itwasjustthattheywereunprepared—bothmentallyandphysically—todealwithapersonoftheoppositesexstudyingwiththem.Ourconservativesocietydiscouragedtheminglingofboysandgirlsevenasfriends,andso,Iwasasinterestingasanalientothem.Mymindjustifiedthereasonfortheboys’behaviourandhelpedmecope.Andyet,theremarks,thepranksandthesarcasmcontinuedtohurt.Myonlyoutletincollegewasmyactualeducation.Ienjoyedtheengineering

subjectsanddidverywellinmyexams.IfoundthatIperformedbetterthantheboys,eveninhardcoreengineeringsubjectssuchassmithy,filing,carpentryandwelding.TheboysworeblueoverallsandIworeablueapronovermysari.IknewthatIlookedquitefunny,butitwasasmallpricetopayfortheeducationIwasgetting.Whentheexamresultswereannounced,everyoneelseknewmymarksbefore

Idid.Almosteverysemester,myclassmatesandseniorswouldmakeasingularefforttofindoutmymarksanddisplaythemonthenoticeboardforeveryonetosee.Ihadabsolutelynoprivacy.Overthecourseofmystudies,Irealizedthatthebelief‘engineeringisa

man’sdomain’isacompletemyth.NotonlywasIjustascapableasthem,Ialsoscoredhigherthanallmyclassmates.ThisgavemeadditionalconfidenceandIcontinuedtonotmissasingledayorasingleclass.Ipersistedinstudyinghard,determinedtotopthesubsequentexaminations.Intime,Ibecameunfazedthatmymarksweredisplayedonthenoticeboard.Onthecontrary,IwasproudthatIwasbeatingalltheboysattheirowngameasIkeptbaggingthefirstrankintheuniversity.

Myabilitytobeself-sufficientmademestrongandtheboyseventuallystartedtorespectme,becamedependentonmeforsurveysanddrawingsandaskedmefortheanswerstotheassignments.Ibegantomakefriendsandeventoday,mygoodfriendsincludeRameshJangalfromthecivildepartment,mylabpartnerSunilKulkarni,andFakeerGowda,M.M.Kulkarni,HireGowda,AnandUthuri,GajananThakur,PrakashPadaki,H.P.SudarshanandRameshLodaya.Iwillneverforgetmyteachers:L.J.Noronhafromtheelectricalengineering

department,YogaNarasimha,agiftedteacherfromBangalore,Prof.Mallapurfromthechemistrydepartment,Prof.Kulkarnifromhydraulicsandmanymore.Betweenmyclasses,Ialsospentmuchtimeinthelibraryandthelibrarianbecameveryfondofmeovertime,eventuallygivingmeextrabooks.Ialsospokefrequentlytothegardeneraboutthetreesthatshouldbeplanted

infrontofthecollege,andduringmyfouryearsthere,Ihadhimplantcoconuttrees.WheneverIgotoB.V.B.now,Ilookatthecoconuttreesandfondlyremembermygoldendaysonthecampus.ThefouryearspassedquicklyandthedaycamewhenIfinallyhadtoleave.I

feltsad.Ihadcomeasascaredteenagerandwasleavingasaconfidentandbrightyoungengineer!Collegehadtaughtmetheresiliencetofaceanysituation,theflexibilitytoadjustasneeded,theimportanceofbuildinggoodandhealthyrelationshipswithothers,sharingnoteswithclassmatesandcollaboratingwithothersinsteadofstayingbymyself.Thus,whenIspeakoffriends,Idon’tusuallythinkofwomenbutratherofmenbecauseIreallygrewupwiththem.WhenIlaterenteredthecorporateworld,itwasagaindominatedbymen.Itwasonlynaturalformycolleaguesorfriendstobemenandonlysometimeswouldtherebewomen,whomIwouldgettoknowovermanyyears.Collegeisnotjustabuildingmadeupofwalls,benchesanddesks.Itismuch

moreintangiblethanthat.TherighteducationshouldmakeyouaconfidentpersonandthatiswhatB.V.B.didforme.Ilatercompletedmymaster’sprogrammefromtheIndianInstituteofScience,

Bangalore.Yet,B.V.B.continuestohaveaspecialplaceinmyheart.Whenmyfatherpassedawayduetooldage,Idecidedtodosomethinginhis

memory.Hehadallowedmetogoaheadandbecomeanengineer,despitealloddsandgrievanceshehadheardfromourfamilyandsociety.Thus,Ibuiltalecturehallinhismemoryinourcollegecampus.

WheneverIgoabroadtodeliveraspeech,atleastfivepeopleofdifferentagescomeandtellmethattheyarefromB.V.B.too.Iconnectwiththemimmediatelyandcan’thelpbutsmileandask,‘Whichyeardidyougraduate?Whowereyourteachers?Howmanygirlsstudiedinyourclass?’Now,wheneverIgobacktothecollege,itislikeacelebration,likeadaughter

cominghome.Towardstheendofthevisit,Ialmostalwaysstandaloneintheinnerquadrangleofthestage.MymemoriestakemebacktothenumerousoccasionswhenIreceivedawardsforacademicexcellence.Ithenspendafewminutesinfrontofthenoticeboardandwalkuptothesmallroomonthesecondflooroftheelectricalengineeringdepartmentthatwas‘Kulkarni’sRoom’,butnolongerdusty.IrememberthebenchonwhichIsatandpreparedformyexams.MyheartfeelsafamiliarachewhenIrecallsomeofmyteachersandclassmateswhoarenolongerinthisworldtoday.Andthen,asIwalkdownthestairs,Icomeacrossgroupsofgirls—chatting

awayhappilyandwearingjeans,skirtsortraditionalsalwar-kameez.Therearealmostasmanygirlsasthereareboysinthecollege.Whentheyseeme,theylovinglysurroundmeforautographs.Inthemidstofthecrowdandthesignings,Ithinkofmyparentsandmyjourneyoffiftyyearsandmyeyesgetmisty.MayGodblessourcollege,B.V.B.!

21

ThreeThousandStitches

WesetuptheInfosysFoundationin1996.Unfortunately,Iknewpreciouslittleabouthowthingsworkedinanon-profitorganization.Iknewmoreaboutsoftware,management,programmingandtacklingsoftwarebugs.Examinations,marksheetsanddeadlinesoccupiedmostofmydays.Theconceptbehindthefoundationwasthatitmustmakeadifferencetothecommonman—bahujanhitaya,bahujansukhaya—itmustprovidecompassionateaidregardlessofcaste,creed,languageorreligion.Asweponderedovertheissuesbeforeus—malnutrition,education,rural

development,self-sufficiency,accesstomedicine,culturalactivitiesandtherevivalofthearts,amongothers—therewasoneissuethatoccupiedmyuppermostthoughts:thedevadasitraditionthatwaspervasivethroughoutIndia.Theworddevadasimeans‘servantoftheLord’.Traditionally,devadasisweremusiciansanddancerswhopractisedtheircraft

intemplestopleasethegods.Theyhadahighstatusinsociety.WecanseeevidenceofthisinthecavesofBadami,aswellasinstorieslikethatofthedevadasiVinapodi,whowasverydeartotherulingkingoftheChalukyadynastybetweenthesixthandseventhcenturyinnorthernKarnataka.Thekingdonatedenormoussumsofmoneytotemples.However,astimewentby,thetemplesweredestroyedandthetraditionofthedevadasisfellintoruin.Younggirlswereinitiallydedicatedtotheworshipandserviceofadeityoratemplein

goodfaith,buteventually,theword‘devadasi’becamesynonymouswith‘sexworker’.Somewerebornintothelife,whileotherswere‘sacrificed’tothetemplesbytheirparentsduetovariousreasons,orsimplybecausetheycaughtahairinfectionliketheringwormofthescalp,assumedtobeindicativethatthegirlwasdestinedtobeadevadasi.AsIthoughtabouttheirplight,IrecalledmyvisittotheYellammaGudda(or

Renukatemple)inBelgaumdistrictofKarnatakayearsago.Irememberedtheirgreensarisandbangles,thesmearsofyellowbhandara(acoarseturmericpowder)andtheirthick,longhairastheyenteredthetemplewithgoddessmasks,coconuts,neemleavesandakalash(ametalpot).‘Whycan’tItacklethisproblem?’Iwondered.Ididn’trealizethenthatIwaschoosingoneofthemostdifficulttasksforour

veryfirstproject.Withinnocenceandbubblingenthusiasm,Ichoseaplaceinnorthern

Karnatakawherethepracticewasrampantandprostitutionwascarriedoninthenameofreligion.Myplanwastotalktothedevadasisandwritedowntheirconcernstohelpmeunderstandtheirpredicament,followedbyorganizingafewdiscussionstargetedtowardssolvingtheirproblemswithinafewmonths.Onmyfirstdayinthedistrict,Iarmedmyselfwithanotebookandpenand

setout.Idressedsimply,withnojewelleryorbindi.Iworeapairofjeans,T-shirtandacap.Aftersometime,Ifoundagroupofdevadasissittingbelowatreenearatemple.Theywerechattingandremovinglicefromeachother’shair.Withoutthinking,Iwentuptothem,interruptingtheirconversation.

‘Namaskaram,Amma.I’vecomeheretohelpyou.TellmeyourproblemsandI’llwritethemdown.’Theymusthavebeendiscussingsomethingimportantbecausethewomen

gavemeadirtylook.Theylobbedquestionsatmewithincreasingferocity.‘Whoareyou?Didweinviteyouhere?’‘Haveyoucometowriteaboutus?Inthatcase,wedon’twanttotalktoyou.’‘Areyouanofficer?Oraminister?Ifwetellyouourproblems,howwillyou

solvethem?’‘Goaway.Gobacktowhereyoucamefrom.’Ididnotmove.Infact,Ipersisted.‘Iwanttohelpyou.Pleaselistentome.

AreyouawarethatthereisadangerousillnesscalledAIDSthatyoucouldbe

exposedto?Thereisnocurefor...’‘Justgo,’oneofthemsnapped.Iglancedattheirfaces.Theywerefurious.ButIdidnotleave.‘Maybetheyneedalittleconvincing,’Ithought.Withoutwarning,oneofthemstoodup,tookoffherchappalandthrewitat

me.‘Can’tyouunderstandsimpleKannada?Justgetlost.’Insultedandhumiliated,Ifeltmytearsthreateningtospillover.Iturnedback

andfled.Uponreturninghome,withtheinsultfreshonmymind,Itoldmyself,‘Iwon’t

gothereagain.’However,afewdayslater,itoccurredtomethatthewomenwereprobably

upsetaboutsomethingelseandthatmaybeIhadsimplychosenthewrongtimeanddatetovisitthem.Soafteranotherweek,Iwentthereagain.Thisvisittookplaceduringthe

tomatoharvest.Thedevadasiwomenwerehappilydistributingsmalloval-shapedbright-redtomatoestoeachotherfromthebasketskeptnearthem.Iapproachedthemandsmiledpleasantly.‘Hello,I’vecometomeetyouagain!Pleasehearmeout.Ireally,reallywanttohelpyou.’Theylaughedatme.‘Wedon’tneedyourhelp.Butwouldyouliketobuy

sometomatoes?’‘No,Iamnotveryfondoftomatoes.’‘Whatkindofawomanareyou?Whodoesn’tliketomatoes?’Iattemptedtoengagethemoncemore.‘HaveyouheardofAIDS?Youmust

knowthatthegovernmentisspendingalotofmoneyonincreasingawarenessaboutit.’‘Areyouagovernmentagent?Ormaybeyoubelongtoapoliticalparty.How

muchcommissionareyougettingtodothis?Comeon,tellus!Wedon’tevenhaveaproperhospitalinthisareaandhereyouare,tryingtoeducateusaboutascarydisease.Wedon’tneedyourhelp.Ourgoddesswillhelpusindifficulttimes.’Istooddumbfounded,strugglingtofindwords.Oneofthewomensaiddecisively,‘Thisladymustbeajournalist.That’swhy

shehasapenandpaper.She’llwriteaboutusandmakemoneybyexploitingus.’Uponhearingthis,theothersstartedthrowingtomatoesatme.

Thistime,myemotionsoverpoweredmeandIstartedtocry.Sobbing,Ifledfromthereonceagain.Iwasindespair.‘WhyshouldIworkonthisproject?Whydotheykeep

insultingme?Whereelsedothebeneficiarieshumiliatethepersonworkingfortheirwell-being?Iamnotagoodfitforthisfield.Yes,Ishouldresignandgobacktomyacademiccareer.Thefoundationcanchooseadifferenttrustee.’WhenIreachedhome,Isatdowntocomposearesignationletter.Myfathercamedownthestairsandseeingmebusy,withmyheadbentclose

tothepaper,heasked,‘Whatareyouwritingsofrantically?’Inarratedtheentireepisodetohim.Tomyamazement,ratherthansympathizingwithme,myfatherchuckledand

said,‘Ididn’tknowthatyouweresoimpractical.’Istaredathiminanger.Hetookoutanicecreamfromthefridgeandforcedmetositdownandeatit.

‘It’llcoolyourhead,’hesaidandsmiled.Afterafewminutes,hesaid,‘Pleaseremember.Prostitutionhasexistedin

societysinceancienttimesandhasbecomeanintegralpartoflife.Itisoneoftherootproblemsofallcivilizations.Manykingsandsaintshavetriedtoeliminateitbutnolaworpunishmenthasbeensuccessfulinbringingitdowntozero.Notonenationintheworldisfreeofthis.Thenhowcanyouchangetheentiresystembyyourself?You’rejustanordinarywoman!Whatyoushoulddoisreduceyourexpectationsandloweryourgoal.Forinstance,trytohelptendevadasisleavetheirprofession.Rehabilitatethemandshowthemwhatitmeanstoleadanormallife.Thiswillguaranteethattheirchildrenwillnotfollowintheirfootsteps.Makethatyouraim,andthedayyouaccomplishit,IwillfeelveryproudknowingthatIgavebirthtoadaughterwhohelpedtenhelplesswomenmakethemostdifficulttransitionfrombeingsexworkerstoindependentwomen.’‘Buttheythrewchappalsandtomatoesatme,Kaka,’Iwhinedpetulantly.I

alwayscalledmyfather‘Kaka’.‘Actually,yougotapromotiontoday—fromchappalstotomatoes.Ifyou

pursuethisandgothereathirdtime,maybeyou’llgetsomethingevenbetter!’Hisjokebroughtareluctantsmiletomyface.‘Theywon’teventalktome.ThenhowcanIworkforthem?’

‘Lookatyourself,’myfathersaid,draggingmeinfrontofthenearestmirror.‘YouarecasuallydressedinaT-shirt,apairofjeansandacap.Thismaybeyourstyle,butthecommonmanandaruralIndianwomanlikethedevadasiwillneverconnectoridentifywithyou.Ifyouwearasari,amangalsutra[amarriedwoman’sholynecklace],putonabindiandtieyourhair,I’msurethattheywillreceiveyoumuchbetterthanbefore.I’llalsocomewithyou.Anoldmanlikemewillbeofgreathelptoyouinsuchanadventure.’Iprotested,‘Idon’twanttoaltermyappearancefortheirsake.Idon’tbelieve

insuchsuperficialchanges.’‘Well,ifyouwanttochangethem,thenyouhavetochangeyourselffirst.

Changeyourattitude.Ofcourse,it’syourdecisionintheend.’Heleftmeinfrontofthemirrorandwalkedaway.Myparentshadneverthrusttheirchoicesorbeliefsonmeoranyofmy

siblings,whetheritwasabouteducation,professionormarriage.Theyalwaysgavetheiradviceandhelpedusifwewanted,butwemadeallthechoices.Forafewdays,Iwasconfused.Ithoughtabouttheskillsneededforsocial

work.TherewasnoglamourormoneyinthisprofessionandIcouldnotbehavelikeanexecutiveinacorporatehouse.Irequiredlanguageskills,ofwhichEnglishmaynotbeneededatall!Ihadtobeabletositdownonthefloorandeatthelocalfood,nomatterwhereItravelledtoforwork.Ihadtolistenpatiently,andmostofall,IshouldlovetheworkIdid.Whatwouldgivemehighersatisfaction—keepingmyexternalappearancethewayitwasortheworkthatIwoulddo?Aftersomeintrospection,Idecidedtochangemyappearanceandconcentrate

completelyonthework.Beforemynextvisit,Ipulledmyhairback,tieditandadorneditwith

flowers.Iworeatwo-hundred-rupeesari,abigbindi,amangalsutraandglassbangles.Itransformedmyselfintoabharatiyanari,thestereotypicaltraditionalIndianwoman,andtookmyfatheralongwithmetomeetthedevadasis.Thistime,whenwewentthere,uponseeingmyagedfather,theysaid,

‘Namaste.’Myfatherintroducedme.‘Thisismydaughterandsheisateacher.Shehas

comehereonaholiday.Itoldherhowdifficultyourlivesare.Yourchildrenare

thereasonforyourexistenceandyouwanttoeducatethemirrespectiveofwhathappenstoyourhealth,amIright?’Theyrepliedinunison,‘Yes,sir!’‘Sincemydaughterisateacher,shecanguideyouwithyourchildren’s

educationandhelpthemfindbetterjobs.She’llgiveyouinformationaboutsomescholarshipswhichyoumaynotbeawareofandhelpyourkidsapplysothatyourfinancialburdenmaybereduced.Isthatokaywithyou?Ifnot,it’sallright.She’llgotosomeothervillageandtrytohelpthepeoplethere.Pleasedon’tfeelpressured.Thinkaboutitandgetbacktous.We’llbebackintenminutes.’Graspingmyhandtightly,hepulledmeashortdistanceaway.‘Whydidyousayallthat?’Iasked.‘Youshouldhavefirsttoldthemabout

thingslikethedangersofAIDS.’‘Don’tbefoolish.Wewilltellthemaboutitsomeothertime.Ifyoustartwith

somethingnegative,thennobodywilllikeit.Thefirstintroductionshouldalwaysbepositiveandbringrealhopetothebeneficiary.AndjustlikeI’vepromisedthem,youmusthelptheirchildrengetscholarshipsfirst.WorkonAIDSlater.’‘AndwhydidyoutellthemI’mateacher,Kaka?’Idemanded.‘Youcould

havesaidIwasasocialworker.’Myfatherofferedacalmrebuttal.‘Theyconsiderteachingtobeoneofthe

mostrespectablejobsandyouareaprofessor,aren’tyou?’Inoddedreluctantly,stillunsureofhisstrategy.Whenwewentback,thewomenwerereadytolisten.Theycalledme‘akka’.SoIstartedworkingwiththemtohelptheirchildrensecurethepromised

scholarships.Someofthesechildrenevenstartedgoingtocollegewithinayear.OnlyafterthishappeneddidIbringupthesubjectofAIDS,andthistime,theyheardmeout.Monthswentby.Ittookmealmostthreeyearstoestablisharelationshipwiththem.Iwastheirdarlingakkaandeventually,theytrustedmeenoughtosharetheirheart-rendingstoriesandthetrialstheyhadendured.Innocentgirlshadbeensoldintothetradebytheirhusbands,brothers,fathers,

boyfriends,unclesorotherrelatives.Someenteredthesextradeontheirown,hopingtoearnsomemoneyfortheirfamiliesandhelpfuturegenerationsescapepoverty.Stillotherswereluredintoitwiththepromiseofarealjob,onlytofind

themselvestrickedintosexwork.Hearingtheirstories,thereweremomentswhenIcouldn’thidemytears,yettheyweretheoneswhoheldmyhandandconsoledme!Eachstorywasdifferentbuttheendwasthesame—theyallsufferedatthehandsofasocietythatexploitedthemandfilledthemwithguiltandshameasafinalinsult.Irealizedthatsimplydonatingmoneywouldnotbolstertheirconfidenceor

buildtheirself-esteem.ThebestsolutionIcouldthinkofwastounitethemtowardsacommongoalbyhelpingthembuildtheirownorganization.ThestategovernmentofKarnatakahadmanygoodpoliciesthatencouragedhousing,marriageschemesandscholarships,butifwestartedanassociationoraunionexclusivelyforthedevadasis,theycouldaddresseachother’sproblems.Intime,theywouldbecomeboldandindependent,learningtoorganizethemselvesintheprocess.Thus,anorganizationforthedevadasiswasformed.IbelievethatGodcannot

bepresenteverywhereatonceand,instead,hesendspeopletodohiswork.AbhayKumar,akind-heartedandidealisticyoungmanfromDelhi,joinedusunexpectedly.HewantedtoworkwithmeandsoIdecidedtogivehimthetoughestjobinordertotesthispassionforsocialwork.ItoldAbhay,‘Ifyouworkwiththedevadasisforeightmonthsandsurvive,I’llthinkaboutabsorbingyouintotheprojectfull-time.’Aspromised,hedidnotshowupforeightmonths,andthenoneday,he

confidentlystrolledintomyoffice,alittlethinner,butgrinningfromeartoear.Isaid,‘Abhay,nowyouknowhowhardsocialworkis.Ittakesextreme

commitmentandpersistencetokeepgoing.‘YoucangobacktoDelhiwiththesatisfactionofhavingmadeadifferenceto

somanylives.YouareagoodhumanbeingandI’msurethatthislittleexperiencewillstaywithyouandhelpyoulater.’HesmiledandrepliedinimpeccableKannada,‘WhosaidthatIwantedtogo

backtoDelhi?I’vedecidedtostayinKarnatakaandcompletethisproject.’‘Abhay,thisisseriouswork.Youareyoungandthat’sagreatdisadvantagein

thislineofworkand...’Myvoicefadedaway.Ididn’tknowwhatelsetosay!‘Don’tworryaboutthat,madam!YougavemethebestjobIcouldpossibly

have.Ithoughtthatyoumightgivemeadeskjob.Ineverimaginedthatyou’dgivemefieldwork,thattootheprivilegeofworkingwiththedevadasis.This

pastyearhasmademerealizetheiragonyandunbearablehardships.Knowingthat,howcanIeverworkanywhereapartfromhere?’Iwasastonishedatsuchsincerityandcompassioninonesoyoung.Ioffered

himastipendtohelpwithhisexpensesbuthestoppedmewithashowofhishand,‘Idon’tneedthatmuch.Ialreadyhaveascooterandafewsetsofclothes.Ijustneedtwomealsaday,aroofovermyheadandalittlemoneyforpetrol.That’sit.’IgazedathimfondlyandknewthatIwasseeingamanwhohadfoundhis

purposeinlife.Hebadegoodbyeandleftmyofficewithdeterminedstrides.Obviously,Abhaybecametheprojectlead,andIsupportedhim

wholeheartedly,takingcaretoconversewithhimregularlyabouttheproject’sprogress.Oneday,Imetwiththedevadasisandinquiredaboutthewelfareoftheir

children.‘Ourgreatestdifficultyissupportingourchildren’seducation,’theysaid.

‘Mostofthetime,wecan’taffordtheirschoolfeesandthenwehavetogobacktowhatweknowtogetquickmoney.’‘Wewilltakecareofallyourchildren’seducationalexpenses,irrespectiveof

whichclasstheyarein.Butthatmeansthatyoumustnotcontinuebeingadevadasi,nomatterwhat,’Irepliedfirmly.Thewomenagreedwithouthesitation.TheyhadcometotrustAbhayandme

andknewthatwewouldkeepourword.Hundredsofchildrenwereenrolledintheproject—somewentontodo

professionalcourseswhileotherswentontocompletetheirprimary-,middle-orhigh-schoolclasses.WeheldcampsonAIDSawarenessandpreventionandsponsoredstreetart

andplaystoeducatethewomenandchildrenonvariousmedicalissues—includingthesimplefactthatinfectedhairisnotanindicationthatonemustbecomeadevadasi.Rather,itisasimplecurablediseasethatcausesthehairtosticktogetherandbecomemattedovertime.Thewomengotthemselvestreatedandsomeofthemevenhadtheirheadsshaved.Eventually,wewereabletogetthemloansbybecomingtheirguarantors.

Often,thewomenwouldtellme,‘Akka,pleasehelpusgetaloan.Ifwecan’t

repayit,thenitisasgoodascheatingyouandyouknowthatwe’llneverdothat.’BythistimeIknewinmyheartthatarichmanmightcheatmebutour

devadasisneverwould.TheyhadgreatfaithinmeandIinthem.Ontheotherhand,lifebecamemoredangerousforAbhayandme.We

receiveddeaththreatsfrompimps,localgoonsandothersthroughphonecalls,lettersandmessages.IwasscaredmoreforAbhaythanmyself.ThoughIaskedforpoliceprotection,Abhayflatlyrefusedandsaid,‘Ourdevadasiswillprotectme.Don’tworryaboutme.’Afewweekslater,somepimpsthrewacidonthreedevadasiswhohadleft

theirprofessionforgood.Butweallstillrefusedtogiveup.Theplasticsurgerythevictimsunderwenthelpedtobringbacktheirconfidence.Theywouldnotbeintimidated.Ourstrengthcamefromthesewomenwhowerecollectivelytryingtoleavethishatedprofession.Thoughthegovernmentsupplementedtheirincome,manyalsostartedrearinggoats,cowsandbuffaloes.Overtime,weestablishedsmallschoolsthatofferednightclasseswhichthe

devadasiscouldattend.Itwasanuphillbattlethattookyearsofeffortfromeverybodyinvolved.Aftertwelveyears,someofthewomenmetmetodiscussaparticularissue.‘Akka,wewanttostartabank,butweareafraidtodoitonourown.’‘Whatdoyouthinkhappensinabank?’Iasked.‘Well,youneedalotofmoneytostartabankorevenhaveanaccount.You

mustwearexpensiveclothes.We’veseenthatbankersusuallywearsuitsandtiesandsitinair-conditionedoffices,butwedon’thavemoneyforsuchthings,Akka.’Aftertheybroughtthisproblemtoourattention,AbhayandIsatdownwith

thewomenandexplainedthebasicsofbankingtothem.Afewprofessionalswereconsulted,andundertheirguidance,theystartedabankoftheirown,withtheexceptionofafewlegalandadministrativeservicesthatweprovided.However,weinsistedthatthebankemployeesandshareholdersshouldberestrictedonlytothedevadasicommunity.Sofinally,thewomenwereabletosavemoneythroughfixeddepositsandobtainlow-interestloans.Allprofitshadtobesharedwiththebankmembers.Eventually,thebankgrewandthewomenthemselvesbecameitsdirectorsandtookoveritsrunning.

Lessthanthreeyearslater,thebankhadRs80lakhindepositsandprovidedemploymenttoformerdevadasis,butitsmostimportantachievementwasthatalmost3000womenwereoutofthedevadasisystem.Ontheirthirdanniversary,Ireceivedaletterfromthebank.Weareveryhappytosharethatthreeyearshavepassedsincethebankwasstarted.Now,thebankisofsoundfinancialhealthandnoneofuspractiseormakeanymoneythroughthedevadasitradition.Wehaveeachpaidahundredrupeesandhavethreelakhssavedforabigcelebration.Wehaverentedoutahallandarrangedlunchforeveryone.Pleasecomeandjoinusforourbigday.Akka,youareverydeartousandwewantyoutobeourchiefguestfortheoccasion.Youhavetravelledhundredsoftimesatyourowncostandspentendlessmoneyforoursakeeventhoughwearestrangers.Thistime,wewanttobookaround-tripair-conditionedVolvobusticket,agoodhotelandanall-expenses-paidtripforyou.Ourmoneyhasbeenearnedlegally,ethicallyandmorally.Wearesurethatyouwon’trefuseourhumbleandearnestrequest.

Tearswelledupinmyeyes.Seventeenyearsago,chappalsweremyreward,butnow,theywantedtopayformytraveltothebestoftheirability.Iknewhowmuchthecomfortofanair-conditionedVolvobusandahotelmeanttothem.Idecidedtoattendthefunctionatmyexpense.Onthedayofthefunction,Ifoundthattherewerenopoliticiansorgarlands

orlongspeechesaswastypical.Itwasasimpleevent.Atfirst,somewomensangasongofagonywrittenbythedevadasis.Thenanothergroupcameanddescribedtheirexperiencesontheirjourneytoindependence.Theirchildren,manyofwhomhadbecomedoctors,nurses,lawyers,clerks,governmentemployees,teachers,railwayemployeesandbankofficerscameandthankedtheirmothersandtheorganizationforsupportingtheireducation.Andthenitwasmyturntospeak.Istoodthere,andwordssuddenlyfailedme.Mymindwentblank,andthen,

distantly,Irememberedmyfather’swords:‘IwillfeelveryproudknowingthatIgavebirthtoadaughterwhohelpedtenhelplesswomenmakethemostdifficulttransitionfrombeingsexworkerstoindependentwomen.’Iamusuallyaspontaneousspeakerbutonthatday,Iwastoochokedwith

emotion.Ididn’tknowwheretobegin.Forthefirsttimeinmylife,IfeltthatthedayImeetGod,Iwillbeabletostandupstraightandsayconfidently,‘You’vegivenmealotinthislifetime,andIhopethatIhavereturnedatleastsomething.I’veserved3000ofyourchildreninthebestwayIcould,relievingthemofthe

meaninglessandcrueldevadasisystem.YourchildrenareyourflowersandIamreturningthemtoyou.’Thenmyeyesfellonthewomen.Theyweresoeagertolistentome.They

wantedtohearwhatIhadtosay.Abhaywastheretoo,lookingoverwhelmedbyeverythingtheyhaddoneforus.IquotedaSanskritslokamygrandfatherhadtaughtmewhenIwassixyears

old:‘OGod,Idon’tneedakingdomnordoIdesiretobeanemperor.Idon’twantrebirthorthegoldenvesselsorheaven.Idon’tneedanythingfromyou.OLord,ifyouwanttogivemesomething,thengivemeasoftheartandhardhands,sothatIcanwipethetearsofothers.’Silently,Icamebacktomychair.Ididn’tknowwhatthewomenmustbe

thinkingorfeelingatthatmoment.Anolddevadasiclimbedupontothestageandstoodthereproudly.Witha

firmvoice,shesaid,‘Wewanttogiveourakkaaspecialgift.Itisanembroideredbedspreadandeachofushasstitchedsomeportionofit.Sotherearethreethousandstitches.Itmaynotlookbeautifulbutweallwantedtobepresentinthisbedspread.’Thenshelookedstraightatmeandcontinued,‘Thisisfromourheartstoyours.Thiswillkeepyoucoolinthesummerandwarminthewinter—justlikeouraffectiontowardsyou.Youwerebyoursideduringourdifficulttimes,andwewanttobewithyoutoo.’ItisthebestgiftIhaveeverreceived.

22

TheMeaningofPhilanthropy

Oneday,Iattendedaweddinginthefamilyandmetmyfriendsandrelativesafteralongtime.Sincewewereguestsandnotpartoftheorganizingcommittee,therewasplentyoftimeforustochat.Everybodywasgivingupdatesabouttheirlivesaswesatinagroupwhentheconversationmovedtothetopicofgivingbacktoourcountryandsociety.Oneofthewomenopined,‘Philanthropyneedsalotoftime.Also,awoman

mustbefinanciallystrongandhavefewerresponsibilitiesathome.Assumingthattherearenootherhobbiesthatsheispassionateabout,itispossibletopayattentiontocharitablework.’‘Ithinkitisalltodowithunpaiddebts,’remarkedacousin.‘Ifapersonhas

takenassistancefromsomeoneinapreviouslifetimeandtheyhaven’trepaidthatdebt,beitfinanciallyorphysically,thenthepersonmustrepaythedebtinthislifetime.So,allitmeansisthatphilanthropistshavetakenalotofhelpintheirlastbirthandaresimplyrepayingthosedebtsnow.’Anotherwomansaid,‘Youdon’tneedtalentwhenitcomestodistributing

moneyforcharity.Itisnothingbutawaytopasstime.’Thenshelookedatmewithafriendlysmileandasked,‘Youarefromtheindustry.Whatdoyouthink?’Iknewthattheintentionsofmyfamilyandfriendsweren’tbadatall.So,Idid

notgethurtorfeelupset.Withtime,Ihavebecomeinsensitivetounhelpfulcommentsandmoresensitivetocauses.IexplainedtothemasbestasIcould.

‘Inmylongjourneyofphilanthropy,’Isaid,‘Ihavemetmanypeoplewhohavehelpedothers,irrespectiveoftheircircumstances.Forinstance,someofthemdidnothaveanymoney,somehadalittle,whiletherewereotherswhohadmorethantheywouldeverneed.Theonlythingyoureallyneedtobeaphilanthropististheattitudeanddeterminationtoassistothers.’‘Givemeanexample,’saidoneofthem.‘OfcourseIwill.Thatisthebestwaytoconvinceyou.Youmusthave

travelledatleastoncefromtheBadamirailwaystationtothetown.Therearehugeneemtreesoneithersideoftheroad.Thestorygoesthatthereoncelivedalamemanwhowantedtomakeadifference.So,heplantedneemsaplingsallbyhimselfonbothsidesoftheroad.Intheolddays,therewassufficientrainandnotmuchglobalwarming.Sotheplantsgrewintotrees.Today,however,nooneremembershisnameandallthatremainsisastoryofanunknownlamemanwhoprovidedshadetoallthefuturetravellersonthatroad.Tellme,isn’tthatanactofcharity?’Therewere‘oohs’and‘aahs’fromthewomensittingaroundme.‘Tellusmore,’afewchorused.Inoticedmorepeoplejoiningourgroup.‘Well,thereisawell-knownurologistinBangalorenamedDrSridhar.He

livedandworkedabroadbeforemakingadecisiontocomebacktothecountry.Hecouldeasilyhavedecidedotherwiseandworkedforaprivatehospitalinaforeignlandandearnedmuchmoremoney.Insteadthisdoctorliveswithhisfamilyinatwo-bedroomrentedhomeforthelastthirty-oneyearsandworkseverydaytowardsfulfillinghisdreamofprovidingaprofessionalopinionandhelpingpeople,withcompletedisregardtofinancialconsideration.Hehasfoundawaytodothisbymakingacleardemarcationinthewayheworks.Heseespatientsinthemorningandchargeshisusualfees.However,intheevening,between4p.m.and6p.m.,heseeseachpatientforfree,irrespectiveoftheincomeofthepatients.Thus,hebalancesbothpartsofhislifewithsincerity.‘WhenIaskedhimthesecretbehindhisnobledeed,hesaid,“Ihaveavery

understandingandsupportivewifeandencouragingchildren,whohaveallowedmetogodownthisroad.Iwouldn’thavebeenabletodosowithoutthem.”That’swhenithitmethateveninphilanthropy,greatthingscannotbeachievedwithoutfamilysupport.’Isawafewnodsinthegroup.

Icontinued.‘Recently,IwasinJaipurforwork.WhileIwastravellinginthecity,mydriverstoppedtogotoadhabaandhavetea.Whilewaiting,Isawabeautifulfarmsurroundedbyaboundarywall.Therewasapatchofgreenvegetablesbetweentheboundarywallandtheroad,andIsawagardenerworkingthere.Curious,Iwentuptohimandstartedaconversation.“Whyareyouworkingoutsidetheboundary?Whodoesthispatchbelongto?”Justthen,abigandstrongmancameoutofthefarmandheadedtowardsthepatch.WhenIaskedhimthesamequestion,heinvitedmetocomeinsideandhavealook.Iwentinandimmediatelyrealizedthatthelandbelongedtoarichfamily.WhenIthrewsomemorequestionsattheman,hesaid,“Thisismyancestralland.IrealizedeeplythatthereareotherswhodonothavelandandarenotasfortunateasIam.So,Idecidedtogrowafewsimplevegetableslikecoriander,spinach,fenugreekandothergreenleafyonesinthepatchoutside.Thegardenerhasbeeninstructedtotakecareofitinthesamewaythathetakescareoftherestofmyland.Ihavealsotoldhimtoletanyonetakethevegetablesfromtherewithoutquestion.Hemustonlydohisworkwithsincerity.”‘Iwassurprised.“Whotakesthevegetables?”Iasked.“Therearemanylabourerswhoworkaroundhere.Theycomeandpicksome

up.”“Whathappensifapersonwhoisn’tpoortakesit?”“ThenIfeelnothingbutpityforhimorher,butwedon’tsayanything.Ihave

beendoingthisformanyyearsnow,andeveryoneinthisareaknowsthatpoorpeoplegetfreevegetablesfromthisgarden.”Iwasamazedathisquietbenevolence.’Ilookedaroundandsaweveryonelisteningwithraptattention.Acousin

smiledandaskedmetocontinuewithashowofherhand.‘Letmetellyouofanotherincident.InRajasthan,peoplebelievethatgiving

freewatertopeopleisapiousact,especiallyinthesummer.Isawmudpotsonthesideoftheroadthatwerealmostalwaysfilledwithwaterforpassers-by.Oneday,Isawamantakingawaythemudpot.Unabletocontainmyinquisitiveness,Iaskedhim,“Whyareyoucarryingthis?Thismustalwaysbekeptfilledandonthesideoftheroad.”‘Themangavemeaslightsmile.Hesaid,“Behenji,peoplehappilyfillwater

inthepots,butwhattheyfailtorealizeisthatthesamepotcanbecomeasource

ofinfectiousdiseasesifnobodycarestocleanit.So,oncethepotisempty,myjobistothoroughlycleanitandonlythenfillitwithdrinkingwater.”’‘Ah!’Thecrowdaroundmechorused.Afriendremarked,‘Iknowmanyautorickshawdriversinthecitywhodrive

oldandsickpeopleandpregnantwomenfreeofchargeonceaweek.’‘Yes,that’sexactlywhatphilanthropyisabout.PhilanthropyisaGreekword

wherephilosmeanslovingandanthroposmeansman.Justliketheautorickshawdrivers,thepeopleIspokeaboutwerenotrich.Someweremiddle-classandsomewerepoor.So,itisn’tabouthowmuchapersonhasbuttheirattitudetowardsfellowbeings.Itiscompassion,akindword,awarmhugandalittlesharingthatmakesusbetterhumanbeings.Ifweareluckyenoughtoberich,thenwecanhelpmorepeople.Ifapersoncanbealeaderwithcompassionandagoodattitude,thenheorshecanmakeadefinitechangeinsociety.Don’tyouthink?’Amurmurofagreementandhopefulsighswentthroughthegroup,evenas

someoneannouncedthatitwastimeforustoheadtothenextroomfortheweddingmeal.Quickly,thegroupsplitintosmallerclustersasweheadedtowardssomewell-deservedlunch.

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ISBN:978-0-143-44434-3

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