hindustantimes brunch 6th november 2011
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Hindustantimes Brunch 6th November 2011TRANSCRIPT
WEEKLY MAGAZINE, NOVEMBER 6, 2011Free with your copy of Hindustan Times
TV’s funny man Cyrus Broacha gets the third degree frombuddies and former VJs Maria and Mini. That’s what happens when you write a book on the Average Indian Male
TV’s funny man Cyrus Broacha gets the third degree frombuddies and former VJs Maria and Mini. That’s what happens when you write a book on the Average Indian Male
Why do guysturn berserk aftermarriage? What
goes wrong?Tell us, Cyrus...
Like a 39-year-oldman asking
his mother formoney before
leavinghome...?
Cyrus will tellus at least one
disgusting thing aboutIndian menthat womendon’t know
HINDUSTAN TIMES WEEKLY MAGAZINE4
Jai Singh Though I feel Brunch hasbecome an essential read for me andthere is nothing much to add to itsflavour, still if possible kindly addTravel Q&A section {sort of TravelTruth website–but related to only Indi-an destinations}. No worries if itcomes alternately.
Aadil Mohammed Could you pos-sibly make an issue on Harry Potteraround the 16th of November, theday when the first Harry Potter moviewas released?
Lalit Wadhwa With the advent ofnuclear families and growing insecu-rites, the business of marriagebroking has risen manifold. The mar-riages that are considered to bemade in heaven, are infact being nowsolemnised by these brokers.
Mishri Shah Thanks for suchamazing articles. But today’s articleswere the best specially let your hairdown.
NOVEMBER 6, 2011
Calling All Tweepletwitter.com/HTBrunch
FEEDBACK
@25rby @RajivMakhni Each room willbe meant for diff genres of music, nultimately house in utter chaos!
@shawnchandy Today’s issue showshow indians are so practical when itcomes to marriage. Wealth & Looksare imp. Love can take a backseat
@colourmecrimson Thank you HTBrunch for featuring Jonty Rhodes :)Such a delightful read.
@Ipsita_Shome Jonty Rhodes’ inter-view in today’s HT Brunch. *fangirlgiggle*
@pinkvilla pinkvilla.com/node/183911- Vidya Balan on the cover of HTBrunch.
@awesm4 Missing thou since 2 sun-days but am sure u r safe at home!
facebook.com/hindustantimesbrunchWe’re Logged On
DESIGN: Ashutosh Sapru (National Editor Design),Swati Chakrabarti, Rakesh Kumar, Ashish Singh,Saket Misra, Suhas Kale, Shailendra Mirgal
EDITORIAL: Poonam Saxena (Editor), Kushalrani Gulab (Deputy Editor);Tavishi Paitandy Rastogi, Mignonne Dsouza, Veenu Singh, Parul KhannaTewari, Pranav Dixit, Yashica Dutt, Amrah Ashraf
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contact Suresh Tripathi 09818899646
Cover design: Ashutosh SapruPhoto: Natasha Hemrajani
B-Town Sizzles F1As the nationwent abuzzwith the firstIndian GrandPrix, Bolly-wood cameto cheer.From ShahRukh Khanand PreityZinta toDeepikaPadukone,all came,saw and flooredus with their style!
hindustantimes.com/brunch
Made in heaven? THE (NEW) Business of Marriageby Ira Trivedi (30 October) madefor an interesting read and showedthat if one has the drive, will and de-sire to succeed in any chosen field,then the sky is the limit. Of coursethe ability to innovate and do thingsdifferently also plays a key role inmoving ahead of the run-of-the-milltypes. Unlike the days of yore whenone needed to be armed with a de-gree or doctorate to land a whitecollared job or get into a profes-sional venture, the business oppor-tunities that exist today are phe-nomenal and limitless. Thus a gifted singer, dancer, sportsperson or a yoga teacher can maketheir millions if given the rightbreaks or the right stage to show-case their talents. With technologyand the internet coming right intoour drawing rooms, there is evenmore room to excel for tech savvyand upwardly mobile businessmen.The shining examples of GopalSuri, Pankaj Shastri or Geeta Khan-na are proof enough that new agebusinesses are certainly here tostay but it will take some doing toget there and stay put.
— N J RAVI CHANDER, Bangalore
IRA TRIVEDI meticulously narratedthe emerging marriage businessfrom ordinary pandits/shastries tocorporate levels wherein brokersare arranging marriages throughtheir online websites, posters andlocal franchises. It’s surprising tolearn that these agencies are earn-ing a huge amount as commissionon the total expenditure or one-time charges after the marriage issolemnised.But it appears that once that hap-pens, these brokers don’t claim re-sponsibility. Therefore the parentsand the boy/girl should verify theauthenticity, family background, ed-ucational and professional profiles,personal habits, financial status andother essentials before finalisingthe marriage. Prior meetings of theboth boys and girls and their familymembers can be immensely usefulfor successful marriages. The gov-ernment should also make somelegislations for breach of trust oragreement, wrong information anda suitable fee structure by the bro-kers.
— A S MALHOTRA, New Delhi
Point Me to Prague The capital of theCzech Republic retains its old-worldcharm, but with a mod-ern twist. So, visitPrague and experienceyour own ‘Praha!’moment.
A Vampire In My Living RoomWith Indian filmmakers using zom-bies and vampires over our owndesi ghosts, itwon’t be longbefore wewrite a eulo-gy for bhootsand atmas.
There’s No Khan-TestRa.One might be celebrating its box office success asthe No. 1 grosser of all the Khan films but that’s only untilthe next Khan film releases
PERSONAL AGENDA
Aradhana Seth The photographer/filmmaker on herunique definition oflove, her gadget-free holiday andwhat makes her day!
E X C L U S I V EN E W S L I D E -S H O W !
INDULGEEAT
Masala WrapIt’s only a matter of time before theold Punjabi-dominated stand-alonesector folds
PLAY
Our Twisted FutureOnce you can bend a screen to yourwill, you can change everything
LISTEN
Where (Some) Musicians Love To EatHint: It’s not a nightclub, doesn’t ad-vertise and doesn’t have a website!
LIVE
From Rags To RichesReality television can change yourlife; so long as it was pretty grim tobegin with
0 6 . 1 1 . 1 1 I N T H I S I S S U E
Gorgeous girls and longtime friends, Maria Gorettiand Mini Mathur giveCyrus Broacha the thirddegree about Indian men(given that he’s just writ-ten the definitive book onthe Average Indian Male).And he better have agood answer ready!
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EXCLUSIVE!!
Pitcher Perfect: If it’s a Sunday, it mustbe Sangria. This wine cooler seems to betailormade for lazy afternoons and brunch-es, made in large pitchers, with chunks offruit floating about. So transform thoseslothful Sunday mornings. Ole!
Log on to hindustantimes.com/brunch
What’s WrongWith IndianMen? 6
NOVEMBER 6, 20116
WHAT HAPPENS whenyou get three very goodfriends, three old col-
leagues (that’s two very hot womenand one really, really funny guy)together? Complete chaos, a lot ofinterrupted sentences, and a lot ofname calling – the clean type, wehasten to add – with TV’s resident
comic Cyrus Broacha, TV anchorMini Mathur and former TV veejayMaria Goretti variously calling eachother Cy, Broacha, Maria, Mathurand sundry other nicknames overthe solid hour that we interviewedthem (after a stunning photoshoot)at Bonobo – Bar.Love.Food. inBandra West, Mumbai.
Broacha (even we are falling intothe habit now) is just about torelease The Average Indian Male,his second book (the first was Karl,Aaj aur Kal). So who better to quiza man who claims to deconstructIndian men than two very oldwomen friends – who don’t hesitateto ask the tough questions andlaugh at the funny answers! We justwent along for the ride…. Mini: So Broacha, tell us what yourbook is about?Cyrus: It’s Mr Broacha, and thebook is about…Maria: (Interrupting) So do wehave to call you Mr Broacha?Mini: Why?Cyrus: Respect…Mini: And what will you call us?Cyrus: Bhabhi. Maria: Did he say bhabhi?Mini: He did say bhabhi, he’s obvi-ously taking on the wrong chicks.So what is your book about? Cyrus: (starts to answer)Maria: And why did anyone evercommission it? Cyrus: If you don’t let me answer,
why are you even bothering toask me questions? You go ontalking, you’re worse than me.So the book is RandomHouse’s idea, not mine… We
did a book before called Karl,Aaj or Kal….
Mini: Because there are no ideasthat are your own…Cyrus: No they’re not. Although Iam a scientist and some ideas are…Mini: Tell us about your book!Skip the preamble. Tell us whatit’s about. Cyrus: They wanted me to writea book where people could justread three or four pages and thenthrow it away, and I said ‘But that’sany book I write’. (The girls laugh uproariously)Cyrus: So I told them, instead ofwriting fiction and novels, can Iwrite about Indian men? Because Iwas just thinking, I do this skitabout Indian men, so I said, can Imake it into a bigger thing… and Ifind them very fascinating. Maria: So do I. I find them fascinat-ing.Mini: Are you mad?Maria: I find some Indian menextremely hot! Extremely intelli-gent.Cyrus: I’m speaking about thegeneric Indian man, not all Indianmen.
HINDUSTAN TIMES WEEKLY MAGAZINE
COVER STORY
What’s withIndian men?wrong
Gorgeous girls Maria Goretti and Mini Mathurgive Cyrus Broacha the third degree about Indian men (given that he’s just written the definitive book on the Average Indian Male...) by Mignonne Dsouza photos by Natasha Hemrajani
I love Indian men. But NOT the
average Indian man.(Want to shoot themsometimes, Maria?)
It’s true, the Average Indian Male
indulges in a lot ofbody touching
(Cyrus, please stop do-ing that right now!)
I have a big problem with Indian
men. They don’topen doors...
(True, true, Mini, apartfrom other things...)
Mini: Why is it only about the Indianman and why is it not…?Cyrus: (Interrupting) I love women,but it just doesn’t go anywhere. I’m amale magnet – men just come up tome. You put me anywhere in a placewhere I don’t speak the language andsee. Deep in Kerala, I have malefriends. Mini: So just admit it, you’re writingabout the Indian man because youdon’t KNOW how to write about anyother man!BRUNCH: I just wanted to ask Miniand Maria, if you had a chance to askany Indian man what’s wrong withthem...Cyrus: I’m here.Mini: (To Brunch) Dr Broacha’s herefor you. (To Cyrus) Do you want toknow what’s wrong with Indian menor would you rather not know?Cyrus: I’ve done the research. Thereis some collective thought comingfrom a lot of people. Indian men arereally quite normal people, but… whydo they hold hands?Maria: Why DO they hold hands!?Cyrus: Why do they have thin legs?Why do they…BRUNCH: Why DO Indian men holdhands?Cyrus: You see, India is so populated,they hold hands so that they don’t getlost in public.
Mini: Okay, one at a time. I get to askthe first question. I want to know:Would you rather a woman came andtold you what was bothering her orwould you try and find out what iswrong?Cyrus: It does not really matter oneway or the other, because of the per-sonality of the woman. Some are veryforward with their feelings and someare not. My point is that over theyears I’ve realised that many men,me included, have lots of flaws… likemy wife complains about the motherthing, like why does a 39-year-oldman…Mini: (Interrupting) You’re 39??!!!Cyrus: ….ask his mother for moneyjust before leaving for the airport. Imean, she can’t understand that.Mini: I can’t understand that either.You’re weird.Cyrus: Or why does your motherpack your bags.Mini: I also want to tell the readersof HT that he does not carry anymoney. He borrows R10 when he hasto take an auto in the suburban partof town, he does not carry a phone orwallet and his mother still answershis calls. Maria: But let me say something inyour defence. You are an Indian man,and (addressing Mini) he actuallybailed me out
once in Delhi, when a company didnot pay our room bill, and he said,“Don’t worry Maria, I’ll leave mybags here and let’s both go to the air-port. And he left his bags behind.”Mini: That’s because his bags onlyhave dirty T-shirts in them.Maria: But it was so sweet of him! Istill find that Indian men have farbetter manners, and they treatwomen far better…Cyrus: When they’re dating you,that’s true.Mini: I don’t agree.Cyrus: I have heard stories from myfriends. Maria: I love Indian men. I do! Notthe average one though. Mini: I have a big problem withIndian men. They don’t open doors…Cyrus: And they walk in front oftheir wives and families. Mini: And as a very wise friend ofmine said, ‘Marriage in India shouldhave been an outdated institution theminute a woman brought her firstsalary home.’Cyrus: Correct.Mini: (To Cyrus) After marriage, youguys turn berserk. What’s wrong?Cyrus: Personally speaking, I’m veryscared of women, so it’s a little differ-ent for me. Maria: I justwant to
know Cyrus, when a woman sayssomething like ‘I need to talk to you’,I want to know what goes throughyour mind at that time?Cyrus: You see, men’s perceptionsare not as good as women, we don’tpick up on small things. Maria: But just answer me, what if Icall you and if we were in a relation-ship (both girls laugh uproariously),and I say, we need to talk…Cyrus: To be honest, he would pre-tend to be sincere, but he would notbe good at it. Mini: I think the biggest problemwith the Indian man is that hechanges the minute he gets married.Cyrus: I think the biggest problemwith the Indian man is that he’sbrought up to believe he’s great.Which he’s not. And he thinks likethat because of the way his mothertreats him, his family treats him… Iknow someone who has these incred-ible daughters, who will probablyeducate themselves and take care ofhim when he’s old, but he still wantsa son. They glorify these men. If younotice, the moment you send them toAmerica, they get levelled suddenly,because there is nobody protectingthem. But in India, he’s this big kingin his little world. And that’s why alot of Indian men are not happy inforeign areas and cultures becausethey absolutely have no balls. And it’sall to do with the mother. The motherhas given them too much
importance.Mini: Aren’t you making too manygeneralisations? Cyrus: But THAT is the problem
with the Indian male. Maria: So how will things change?Cyrus: The main point is that oncewomen get financial security, thingswill change. They bring money to thetable, everything changes. Mini: That’s true – but they expectthat if they are getting 50 per cent ofthe money to the table, they will alsoget 50 per cent help from the hus-band. Cyrus: Then the husband’s wholeattitude will change.Mini: But that’s already happening.Women are getting money to thetable and subsidising men’s lives butIndian men do not subsidise theirwife’s housework.Cyrus: You’re absolutely right but Ithink that could change also. Mini: Then the other thing. Broacha,tell me, do you think Indian men liketheir wives to look smouldering hotor they’d much rather look at otherhot chicks but their wife shouldlook… like the wife?Cyrus: The sati savitri bit is a hugeproblem. But that’s why I have youtwo, to change that perception.Indian men should be very comfort-able with their wives in bikinis, in…Mini: My husband is very comfort-
7NOVEMBER 6, 2011HINDUSTAN TIMES WEEKLY MAGAZINE
When you see a hot chick, what do you
think? (Should the answer be really obnoxious, Maria is
prepared...)
I want to tell the readers of HT that
Cyrus does not carry any money. He borrows R10 when
he has to take an auto
I think that alimony would be
very expensive
able with it.Cyrus: Your husband is a differentman, he’s exposed to different cul-tures, he’s a well-read man… we’retalking about the generic man here!We’re talking about Mrs Sharmawho’s sitting at home, doing noth-ing, and watching Ekta Kapoor seri-als. It’s a different world.Mini: So Mr Sharma wouldn’t wantMrs Sharma to look like MalaikaArora, if she could?Cyrus: Within the confines of thebedroom he would, but to the out-side world not so. Maria: I agree.Mini: Would he be okay with havingan affair, but not his wife having anaffair? The whole double standardthing. Cyrus: Yes. I know a lot of men
and they arelike that.
Plenty.Maria: Okay, tell us one disgustingthing about Indian men that womendon’t know.Cyrus: We can graphically talkabout sex, really graphic. I once dis-cussed this with this producer Iworked with, I can’t even tell youhow graphic we were, and then Ijokingly asked him, ‘So how manytimes do you screw your wife,’ usingthese exact words, and he got veryangry, because…Maria: You were talking about thewife!Cyrus: And I don’t understand whyhe reacted like that because we hadjust discussed sex graphically!
What is the big deal?Maria: You
can’t sayscrew, it
should bemakelove…
Cyrus: What difference does itmake! That’s hypocrisy!Mini: Not it’s not. Cyrus: So wife we can’t talk about,but if it was just a girl, it’s fine. Maria: Cy, what is the one thing theIndian man wants to really knowfrom a woman?Cyrus: When are we going to havephysical relations?Maria: That’s all a guy wants toknow!?!?!Cyrus: From a male point of view,that’s a huge problem. We reallywant to know how long it will takebefore we’re going to get down anddirty. It would be nice if you couldclear that up and say ‘look, maybeafter seven dates, we could gosomewhere’. Women have thatproblem, they hedge a lot. Maria: And I also want to ask, youknow, in our field, we meet new peo-ple all the time…Cyrus: What, are you in sales?
Maria: Don’t be funny! What Iwant to ask is, when you see
a hot chick, whatdo you think?
Cyrus: Thatalimony wouldbe very expen-sive.
(Girls laughuproariously)
BRUNCH: Why do Indianmen scratch themselves inappro-
priately in public? Cyrus: That is something Ican’t explain. I have seenIndian men, poor men, busi-nessmen, men from differentparts of the country – we’reunified in this. BRUNCH: Why aren’t Indianmen okay with women earningmore than them?Cyrus: They’re worried aboutlosing power. Money is power.Mini: Do you think that cutsacross classes? Cyrus: Yes, yes yes. Maria: When a woman has a kid,do you think of her differently?Cyrus: Why are you saying awoman, when we have a kid…Maria: When you and me havea kid?? (They laugh) Cyrus: I don’t think you’d liketo have a kid with me….Maria: Cy, I want an answer.If you see a girl, and thinkshe’s hot, and then you seeher with two little ones intow, does your perception ofher change?Cyrus: But there are twotypes of men, the men whodo and don’t have children.Now that I have children,I’m quite okay with chil-dren, but when I didn’t…Maria: So does thewoman become hotter?Cyrus: Depends on your
fantasy. It’s a very personal thing.(The girls laugh).Mini: Broacha, tell me, how long doyou think it’s going to take Indianmen to completely reboot them-selves?Cyrus: It’s going to take a long timeas compared to other countries.And the mother has to stop glorify-ing her son.Mini: What is the one thing theIndian man should change abouthimself?Cyrus: He should walk behind thewoman sometimes. I don’t knowwhy it happens but it’s not cool.
Cyrus Broacha’s The Average Indian Male, published by Harper Collins, will be released
later this month
NOVEMBER 6, 2011
COVER STORY
The one thing you would change about
yourself, Cyrus?
I want to be taller and havestronger legs!!
Cyrus, you’re such
a loser!!
HINDUSTAN TIMES WEEKLY MAGAZINE
RAPID FIREMaria: The one girl you wouldrun to if she called?Cyrus: Sonia Gandhi. I love pow-er. I like Margaret Thatcher. I likeAngela Merkel. Mini: The one thing you’d changeabout yourself?Cyrus: I want to be taller andhave stronger legs. Mini: The one person youwould’ve married had you notmet Ayesha (his wife)?Cyrus: You. (Looking at Maria)You would have been the bestman. (Lots of laughter)Maria: The one thing the Indianwoman should change aboutherself?Cyrus: I just think Indian womeninitially have wrong notionsabout men. They are too nice initially. Then their hopes getdashed. Aim low.Maria: So you are saying…?Cyrus: Don’t expect too much.We’re getting better, but not thatgood.Mini: Do you think the Indianwoman is growing at a fasterpace and leading the revolutionof modernisation much morethan men?Cyrus: I think yes – men are amafia, and we want to keep thewomen as much out of it as pos-sible. So it’s going to be a toughfight. But I do feel that… if youlook at police sniffer dogs, theyalways hire females – they’re fe-rocious and they are more loyal.Mini: But I don’t think women gettheir due in this country. Cyrus: I think everywhere is stilla male-dominated world…Mini: No. Internationally, womenget their due.Maria: I think that now thatwomen are educated, and theywork, they are bringing up theirfamilies differently.
PHOTO CREDIT: BONOBO
- BAR.LOVE.FOOD.
ADDRESS: KENILWORTH
MALL PHASE 2, 2ND
FLOOR, OFF LINKING
ROAD, LINKING ROAD,
BANDRA WEST ,
MUMBAI.
indihorror
VEERANAA Ramsay classic, known as much forits fear factor as its voluptuouswomen.
RAATRevathi as a possessed girl did agreat job of scaring us (and therewere no hideous faces).
BHOOTHad A-list actors (for the first time).The movie managed to unsettle us.
RAAZThe first slick, sensual ghost film thathad oodles of glamour.
RAGINI MMSIndia’s Blair Witch Project, it wasfairly scary.
An iconic horror flick and afew others that broke through the clutter
Variety
EVEN IN our weakestmoments, as we leave thehall after watchingAmerican zombiefavourite, Resident Evil,
we don’t shrink with horror, thinking,“On the way to the loo, I might beattacked and eaten by a zombie.” Nordo we open the doors to our homesfearing that a vampire may be hidingnear the fridge. We’re more likely tobe afraid of the local bhoot/atma.
Most of us have been exposed tothe Western obsession with zombiesand vampires (in the form of movies,books and music). We’ve readDracula, watched Francis FordCoppola’s movie version and the cult zombie flick, Night Of The LivingDead, and we’re likely to throng the-atres next year to see Tom Cruise inWorld War Z (Z for zombies).
But we don’t fear zombies or vam-pires the way we do our own bhootsand prets. However, with Bollywoodmaking movies with zombies andvampires, all this might change – very soon. We will get to see theundead, the crazies, the pallid-skinned and ruby-lipped bloodsucking vampires – and all in full-on desi style.
IN LINE WITH THE WESTA few credible filmmakers (NavdeepSingh of the Manorama Six FeetUnder and Raj Nidimoru and KrishnaDK of Ragini MMS fame) have justannounced movies with zombies inthem – a first in Bollywood. Navdeepwill be directing Rock The Shaadiwith Abhay Deol and Genelia Dsouzaand Raj will be doing Go Goa Gonewith Kunal Khemu in the lead. Apartfrom these two zombie flicks, there isalso Pyar Ki Ek Kahaani, theTwilight-inspired vampire love storyrunning on Star One right now. In thepipeline is Bloody Veer (a vampireflick) and director Satish Kaushik’snew film based on Shantanu Dhar’svampire book Company Red.
Put it down to globalisation(read Americanisation) of popularculture. But why now? After all,zombies and vampires have beenfavourites with Western filmmak-ers, authors and even TV produc-ers for eons.
Well, the global success of theTwilight series (and TV shows suchas True Blood and Vampire Diaries)may have something to do with it.
The creative director of Pyar Ki EkKahaani, Chloe Ferns, reveals thatthough Ekta Kapoor, producer of theshow, was keen to do a vampire showfor the longest time (she is supposed-ly a fan of such programmes), shedidn’t because she felt audiencesweren’t ready. “We had saas-bahusrunning on TV. A vampire serial wasa big risk,” says Ferns. Film critic andauthor Anupama Chopra feels it’stime we borrowed vampires and zom-
bies because both lend themselvesto great story-
HINDUSTAN TIMES WEEKLY MAGAZINE
STARS TURN INTO ZOMBIESAbhay Deol will be seen in RockThe Shaadi and Kunal Khemu isrumoured to star in Go Goa Gone.Both are touted as zombie flicks
OH HOW SEXY!Twilight’s success gave Indian
filmmakers and TV producers a reasonto look at vampires more closely
With Indian filmmakers and TV producers looking atdesi zombies and vampires, it won’t be long before
zomcoms and bloodsucking sagas become commonplaceby Parul Khanna Tewari
A VAMPIRE IN
TWILIGHT-INSPIRED?Pyar Ki Ek Kahaani is anIndian vampire romance
NOVEMBER 6, 201110
■ Zombies are animated corpses, who have been brought back to life byblack magic or voodoo. They are alsocalled the undead.
■ In real life, people who seem hypnotised or lost in another world, areoften called zombies. (People in love orthose who have got ditched may display such behaviour).
■ White Zombieis considered thefirst zombie film.
■ There’s also anAmerican bandcalled WhiteZombie.
■ The zombieindustry is amulti-billion dollar one in the West(specifically America). There are zombie toys, video games, movies, art.
■ Zombie flicks come out in a sort ofpattern in America. Periods of socialunrest and war are often followed bybig spikes in zombie movie production.When millions of people go throughsomething horrific together – whetherit’s slavery, war or the plague – theyseem to hunger for stories about zombies.
■ There are zombie experts in America(we kid you not) who offer zombie theories (like the ones stated above).
■ Rock band Cranberries immortalisedthe word ‘zombie’ in its cult songZombie.
■ Americans love zombies because(say the zombie experts, not us) theyreflect human beings’ greatest fears.And as they say, you can shoot down a zombie, but not a recession.
zombie guidefor IDIOTS
telling, especially now, when Indiansaudiences are at their most receptive.“Vampires are such a sexy idea,” saysChopra. “There’s a seductive strain tothem and they’re worthy of beingcopied. Zombies have an element ofcomedy which can be explored by us.”(Rock The Shaadi aims to do exactlythat, the CEO of Ekta Kapoor produc-tions Tarun Garg tells us).
THEIR BHOOT, OUR BHOOTWhy is the West fascinated, intriguedand horrified by zombies and vam-pires? For the same reason thatIndians are petrified of bhoots andatmas: it’s part of their folklore. SaysRachel Dwyer, Professor of IndianCultures and Cinema, SOAS,University of London, “Much of thehorror genre in the West is associatedwith the Gothic which is also closelylinked to Christianity – churches,graveyards, priests, crucifixes, signsof the cross, the devil etc. Indian hor-ror films have used Om and similarsymbols but need to create a lan-guage of horror. There is a long tradi-tion of the other world in India, levelsof hell, bhoots, vetals, chudails etc.but these haven’t been so popular forfilms.” It’s all about our belief sys-tems, says lifestyle management
expert Rachna K Singh, who givesadvice on NDTV Good Times’ horror-based reality show India’s MostHaunted. “In Christianity, the deadare buried not burnt. That’s why theconcept of the undead. But we burnour dead,” she says. That couldexplain why zombies and vampires
make for great entertainment for usbut aren’t that scary.
WILL IT WORK HERE?But Indian youngsters have grown upbeing exposed to Western ideas, saysSingh, so it’s easy for them to imagineSRK as a sci-fi superhero or even avampire. As Dwyer says, “There’s noreason why a new type of horror filmcouldn’t emerge in India. But if there’sno tradition with known features, theywould have to build on new fears andcreate a genre which will lead to ex-pectation, which is half of the thrill.You also need scary actors. Christo-pher Lee was a great Dracula and, ofcourse, Bela Lugosi lives on after hisdeath (please excuse the bad joke)!”
Filmmakers are also trying to makethe concept more relatable. TarunGarg says says there won’t be muchblood and gore (usually a patent ofzombie films) in Rock The Shaadi,“which is anyway a romcom (zombiesintruding a Punjabi shaadi in Ra-jasthan).” Pyar Ki Ek Kahaani hasalso been suitably Indianised.
It’s an all-new genre for India andlikely to do well with the biggest audi-ences (16-25-year-olds). As RachelDwyer says, it’s a scary world.
YOUNGSTERSWILL RELATE TO
BOLLYWOOD MOVIESABOUT VAMPIRES
AND ZOMBIES
N MY LIVING ROOM!
THIS COLUMN was inspired by three quite separate anddistinct happenings. The first was the HT Crystal Awards.As you may know, the awards are divided into two cate-gories. The first and important one is the Popular Section
where awards are voted for by readers of HT City. The second ismy own awards which are less representative and more subjective.
Generally, my awards try and keep some sort of balance betweenthe hotel sector and the stand-alone sector while the popular awardsare more tilted towards the stand-alone sector. This year howev-er, there was an unusually high proportion of popular awards forthe hotel sector. Two hotels (the Maurya and the Trident-Oberoicomplex in Gurgaon) bagged a huge number of Crystals, higherthan ever before.
Even in my awards, the stand-aloneswere not the obvious ones: L’Opera in KhanMarket, Set’z (Zest) at Emporio, RoyalChina in Nehru Place, Café Diva in GreaterKailash, and Lite Bite Foods (who own
Punjab Grill, Zambar, Asia 7 and sever-al other brands) are all new opera-
tions and aspire to highstandards of class and
sophistication.The second event
that inspired thiscolumn was a really dire expe-
rience at a stand-alone restaurant in my neighbourhood. I haveoften passed the Moti Mahal Deluxe in South Extension but havenever ventured inside. A few weeks ago, inspired by the fact thatthe original Moti Mahal invented tandoori chicken, I wandered intothe South Extension branch and decided to try the kebabs.
The meal did not begin well. I got there at about 1.15 pm or soand found a large, dingily-lit restaurant that was mostly empty. AsI passed one of the few tables that was occupied, I heard the cap-tain urging guests to order Chicken Manchurian.
Once we were seated, a young waiter approached us menacing-ly, stood very close to the table and asked threateningly: “Mineralor Normal? Thanda ya normal?” It takes a special kind of skill tointimidate your guests while only asking them what kind of waterthey want, but this guy managed it effortlessly.
Then, an older man who reminded me of restaurant managersin Connaught Place restaurants in the Sixties came over to takethe order.
I ordered half a tandoori chicken (which should be the house spe-ciality given that Moti Mahal invented the dish), barrah kebab, gar-lic chicken tikka and two Cokes. The old boy refused to write anyof this down. “Yaad rahega,” he said dismissively.
Ten minutes later he was back. “Barrah kebab nahin hai,” he saidflatly. “Taiyyar nahin hai.” He handed me a menu. I ordered a seekhkebab instead. He looked satisfied and ambled off.
When the food came it was served on sizzling hot plates, a styleof preparation which means that you have to wait for the sizzle tosubside before you can eat, by which time of course the food hasstarted cooling rapidly (not necessarily a good idea when it comesto kebabs).
The tandoori chicken was tough; all the juices had been suckedout of it. The chicken tikka was okay till it cooled down (which wasquite soon) at which stage it became rubbery. The seekhs were ter-rible, managing to be both fatty and tough, a feat that is difficult topull off in a kebab made from keema.
None of this was cheap given the depress-ing nature of the ambience (the third floorof a building in South Extension) and thesurly, inept nature of the service. Our bill forthree kebabs, two Cokes and water wasaround R1,300.
The third event that sparked off this col-umn was a meeting with the three chefs whofront Masterchef India. The star of this seriesis the charismatic New York-based Amritsarboy, Vikas Khanna, who I suspect we will behearing more about. But I also enjoyed talk-ing to his colleagues Kunal Kapoor and AjayChopra who were also part of the first, more
Vir Sanghvi
HINDUSTAN TIMES WEEKLY MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 6, 2011
eat | play | listen | live indulge
SETTING STANDARDSSuch places as Set'z, Cafe Diva
(this picture) and Royal China (right) offer better than
five-star experiences at prices that are far lower
NOTHING SPECIALThe tandoori chicken
at the Moti MahalDeluxe in South Extension was
tough; all the juiceshad been sucked
out of it
MasalaWrap
rud
e fo
od
TOPPING IT UPIn the Punjabi restaurants, there was lots of cream and
butter used in the finishing and garnishes of slicedhard-boiled eggs were routine
It is only a matter of time before the old Punjabi-dominated stand-alone sectorfolds. The restaurants that will survive will
be those that are more in tune with thespirit and ethos of new India
PHOT
O: T
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Bollywood-inspired, sea-son with Akshay Kumar.
Both Ajay and Kunalare professionally trainedchefs from the hotel sec-tor (their resumes includeTaj, Leela, Westin, etc.)who have never before interacted in the kitchen with so many ama-teur chefs. I asked them what they thought the impact of the firstseason of Masterchef was. Ajay told me about all the housewiveshe had met who now cooked food differently and served it in a waythey had never done before. He said he asked one woman whereshe had learnt to cook like this. “From TV,” she said.
You can say what you like about the current generation of cook-ing shows, from mass-market Hindi (Masterchef India) to moreniche English (the Australian Masterchef on Star World, RituDalmia’s Italian Khana on NDTV Good Times, Top Chef on AXN,etc.) but there is no doubt that they have made middle-class Indians
look differently at food and restaurants.Which takes me back to where I started. My guess is that a rev-
olution is on its way in the stand-alone sector. For years and years,Indian restaurants were associated with a certain kind of Punjabihotelier. Moti Mahal (the original) was an exception because it madeno attempt to seem sophisticated but the market was dominatedby the Kwality-Volga-Gaylord kind of operation (which the MotiMahal Deluxes aspire to) where restaurateurs tried to serve a multi-cuisine menu consisting of so-called Continental food and a Punjabi-restaurant cuisine of the sort that no Punjabi would eat at home.These were the restaurants that dominated Churchgate Street orConnaught Place and all the local and suburban markets.
All of us have eaten in such restaurants at some stage. Unlikethe original Moti Mahal, they did not base their menus on tandooricuisine but included lots of gravy dishes, made with massive quan-tities of oil and twice the quantity of masala we would use at home.(For dessert you had a Gelusil or a Digene.) There was lots of creamand butter used in the finishing and garnishes of sliced hard-boiledeggs were routine.
The Continental stuff was dodgy: goat hamburgers in which thepatty was similar to a shammi kebab and the buns were often light-
ly pan-fried; breaded chicken or keema cutletssometimes with a bone stuck into the meat; sand-wiches with lots of bread and little filling along withvery bad French fries.
Over time, these restaurants dropped the so-called Continental sections and added Chinesemenus. These always included Chicken Manchurianand Sweet Corn Soup; ‘Chinese’ food of the sortthat was as unknown in China as the ‘Continental’food was in Europe. Some of these restaurants paidtheir waiters a pittance, leaving then to eke out aliving from tips and the chefs never underwent anykind of training. Nor were recipes standardised.
When the five-star restaurants arrived, the multi-cuisine/Punjabi sector suffered a jolt. But it sur-
vived on grounds of price. No matter what you thought of the food,it was still a lot cheaper than dinner at a hotel.
But now I suspect that those days are ending. Several factorshave made the difference. One: in urban markets, rents are high sothese stand-alones either have to move to undesirable locations(higher floors of buildings) or charge high prices. Two: guests arebecoming more demanding and more sophisticated. They watchfood shows on TV and are exposed to so many external influencesthat they expect much more than these places can offer.
Three: There is more money in the market today. There are morehotels. Put together, these factors mean that young professionalswould rather eat a good meal, prepared hygienically and served inpleasant surroundings than pay for the old-style stand-alones.
Four: the restaurant sector is changing. Such places as Set’z,Royal China, Cafe Diva and L’Opera offer better than five-star expe-riences at prices that are far lower than five-star. How can the oldstand-alones ever compete with these new places given that theirfood, service and ambience can be below-par?
And five: the opening of malls, airport terminals and new real-estate options has meant that such companies as Lite Bite (or Yumor Blue Foods) can now open world-class, stand-alone restaurantswith uniform standards at new locations.
It is, I think, only a matter of time before the old Punjabi-domi-nated stand-alone sector folds. The only restaurants that will sur-vive will be those that offer good food. Moti Mahal Deluxe is a fran-chised operation and standards vary from outlet to outlet. As dis-mal as I found the South Extension branch, the version in GreaterKailash is good and continues to thrive. Similarly, of the old ConnaughtPlace restaurants, every chef I spoke to (including ITC’s ManjitGill) still had respect for Embassy. In Bombay, Copper Chimneyhas successfully re-invented itself.
So yes, there will be exceptions. But speaking generally, it is timeto kiss this sector goodbye. The consolation is that its place will betaken by new stand-alones that are more in tune with the spirit andethos of the new India.
13NOVEMBER 6, 2011HINDUSTAN TIMES WEEKLY MAGAZINE
MAKING WAVESThe Maurya (above) and the Trident-Oberoi complex in Gurgaon (below)
bagged a huge number of Crystals this year, higher than ever before
MASTER PLAYEROf the old Connaught Place
restaurants, every chef I spoketo still had respect for Embassy
indulge
COOKING IT ALLThe star of Masterchef India seriesis the charismatic New York-based
Amritsar boy, Vikas Khanna
OVER TIME,THESE MULTI-
CUISINE RESTAURANTS
ADDEDCHINESE MENUS.
THESE ALWAYSINCLUDEDCHICKEN
MANCHURIANAND SWEETCORN SOUP
PHOT
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OTO:
THI
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OCK
IWALK INTO my recording studio and one of my colleagues saysshe has something to show me. She proclaims it to be the mostunique, most exclusive and most amazing gadget I have ever seen.She fishes out a shocking pink cover and from within its
leathery confines slides out... an iPad 2. As I bracemyself for something boring and mundane, I noticethat the iPad itself doesn’t look right. It seems to curveand curve at a spectacular angle, flexing convexly aboutan inch and a half right in the middle. That’s just the thinaluminum case. The shocking part is that the screen alsoappears to be curved and runs flexibly along the same linesas the outer casing. Even more wonderment follows. Theimpossibly curved iPad 2 works! There are no cracks,no fault lines, the touchscreen works as do the restof the insides. How did she manage this unique-ly curved iPad 2, the first of its kind anywherein the world?
It turned out that the ‘bend’ iPad was a gift fromher husband, who ran his car over her handbag that contained it. Once the wheels had run over the massive bagand all the screaming and shouting was over, they found that theweight of the car and the rubber on the wheels hadleft them with this strange, unique and franklyweird contraption. Why the screen hadn’t splintered, why the iPad isn’t in pieces and how inheaven’s name does it work are questions left tothe almighty and Steve Jobs sitting at his side. Iadvised her not to get it repaired, that she was inpossession of what nobody else in the world had.She had the world’s first working, flexi-curved gadget and I had just seen the future!
ALL FANTASYFoldable screens and displays have been the stuffof sci-fi legend for ages and numerous device prototypes have been in play for years now. Nokia showcased the Kinetic,a bendy, rubbery flexible little thing that is very futuristic. Semi-foldable e-readers have been shown and a display the size of anewspaper could be rolled up just like a newspaper. But nothing hasmade the journey into a real product.
THE GREATEST ERA OF DESIGN STARTS NOWIt has been predicted by many that the greatest invention and breakthrough of the future will be foldable bendable screens. It’s the
one thing that changes the whole technology paradigm.Every single gadget anywhere in the world – its shape,size, materials used, look and feel, the operating system, how you interact with it, the button placement– is dictated by the screen placement. Because the screenis a flat, rigid thing that leaves no flexibility as far as itsplacement is concerned, you design around it. Once youget rid of this liability, everything changes! You can letyour imagination run wild, you can cross any boundary,you can make your wildest fantasy come true. It is said
that the greatest era of design will start once a screen can be folded,curved and bended.
THE KILLER OF ALL CATEGORIESOne of the greatest problems for designing any device is inventing away to minimise the size of the device while simultaneously maximis-
ing the size of the display. While shape and size and stylewill change, the greatest benefit will come from
size amplification. If you can fold a screendown to a quarter of its size and then openit to its full size at the press of a button, you’vejust made every current product categorylook foolish. Why would you need a Tabletand a mobile phone? What would be the difference between a Netbook, Notebook andan Ultra-portable? Of what use is a desktop
monitor? Why would you need a large-screenTV? It’s all pretty much redundant. A thin cylin-
drical device can be opened up and used as perthe size you need. It can be your mobile phone as
is, your Tablet when you need to browse, a Notebookwhen you want to type out a document and whenyou press a button, transforms into giant-sized TV.
SO, WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?Why aren’t we taking this leap yet? It all has to dowith how these screens work. While bendable andcurvable screens have been around for a while, theholy grail is true foldable screens. Till you can’tfold ’em in half, you can’t achieve the dream. Manyother conditions must still be met: the screen mustopen thousands of times without creasing, it mustbe mechanically and optically robust, it must havea hard, protective surface as good as glass andmust still be as clear as current screen technolo-
gy. All this is happening as we speak. Many companies, includingSamsung, are working on an active matrix OLEDdisplay that is actually mounted on silicone rubber, which is a hyper-elastic material.Prototypes are working brilliantly and even aquadruple fold has now been achieved (a 4.5-inchscreen opens to a breathtaking 18-incher).
The Nokia Kinetic should be out in about twoyears; single-fold screen devices will be out in aboutthree and multi-fold wonders will be available inabout five. If you can’t wait, maybe you can aimfor a curved iPad too. Get in touch with meand I’ll give you the number of my friend’shusband – you can utilise his amazing driving skills.
Rajiv Makhni is managing editor, Technol-ogy, NDTV and the anchor of Gadget Guru,Cell Guru and Newsnet 3. Follow Rajiv on
Twitter at twitter.com/RajivMakhni
Rajiv Makhni
HINDUSTAN TIMES WEEKLY MAGAZINE
THRICE AS NICEFlexible screens canallow mobile phones
to flip out threescreens (or more)and still fold flat
BEND IT LIKE... The Nokia Kinetic is
a bendy, rubbery,flexible little thing
that is very futuristic
tech
ilicious
CRYSTAL-BALLGAZING
Bendable, foldable newspapers: yes, you are looking at
the future
Once you can make a screen – that hard, rigid thing on your phone, laptop or TV – bend toyour will, you can change everything (and if that sounds too literal, that’s because it is!)
14
IF YOU CAN FOLDAND EXPAND ASCREEN, WHY
WOULD YOU NEEDA NETBOOK OR AMOBILE PHONE?
OurTwistedFuture
NOVEMBER 6, 2011
indulge spe
EVER SINCE The New York Times did a gushing story acouple of weeks back about his place, Emilio Vitolo’s phonehasn’t stopped ringing. Salubrious isn’t a word you’d useto describe New York’s East Houston Street around where
it intersects with Mott Street. Neither would you call it tony or elegant. Far from it. There is a kind of perpetual pattern about theconstruction that happens to take place around the area. Large trucks,big men with hard hats, scaffoldings, and paint cans… all of this isubiquitous around that stretch of E Houston. Not exactly a placewhere you’d expect star musicians to hang out.
But they do. David Bowie has been (and still is) a regular; LennyKravitz has been frequenting the place for years; and Billy Joel is afrequent customer. Oh, today’s lot loves it too. Rihanna and JustinBieber, Snoop Dogg and Sheryl Crow. As well as the movie stars:Tom Hanks, Daniel Day Lewis and even Michael Caine.
The place is Emilio’s Ballato and it is not a nightclub. It has neveradvertised and doesn’t have a website. On the day that we walk inon a rainy late October afternoon, Vitolo, a burly man in his fiftiesand in a black round-necked jersey, is fielding calls. “Hello? No, no,no, no. We don’t take reservations,” he says into the phone in a typical NoLita accent, “but if you walk in we’ll accommodate you.”Ballato is an Italian restaurant that musicians appear to love. Unlikelythat may seem, considering not just its location but also its shabbyand nearly decrepit state. The wall paint is peeling off; the awning
needs replacement; the few tables and chairs are nondescript and except for the posters and the
photographs (expect to see everyone’s from Caineto Daniel Day Lewis to Bieber to Bowie as well
as Vitolo’s own family album ones, including a portrait with his wine barrel-making father and
mother and other siblings) it’s a decor that is anything but appealing.
It’s the food, you soon realise, which makes hipmusicians flock to Ballato. Try it once and you’regoing to go back again and tell your friends and they
will theirs and so on. That’s precisely what therockers, bluesmen and movie stars do. It’s wordof mouth that has
spread the fame of Vitolo’s small room. I tried the Zucchine Fritteand (as suggested – courtesy the Times story – by Warren Haynes,guitar virtuoso) squeezed lemon on it. The mozzarella that came withthe Caprese salad was the best I’ve had, as were the pomodorini andeven the chopped celery. Fresh ingredients made all the difference.A Spaghetti alla Puttanesca did justice to its name (after all, it meansspaghetti whore-style) by being spicy, tangy and anchovy-salty. Butmy piece de resistance was the Salsiccia e Broccoli de Rabe. Thesausages were home-made and divine and the broccoli rabe (bitterspiked leaves) sauté that came with it complemented it perfectly.Vitolo started as a pastry and dessert chef so it’s no surprise that theItalian cheesecake that came in the end was so good that even a bloat-ed stomach (thanks to the food and a bottle of excellent ValpolicellaRipasso 2009) couldn’t make me resist the temptation of digging into it.
Yes, this episode of DC has quietly bypassed the usual raving aboutmusic and focused instead on food that some musicians appear tolove. Ballato’s location has other musical antecedents. Years ago, inthe 1970s, it used to exist in another incarnation – a restaurant whereWarhol and Lennon used to hang around. If you’re sitting in Ballatotoday – indeed, if you’re able to find it on the unglamorous EastHouston Street (it’s a blink and you miss it kind of a place) – you halfexpect a hipster musician or two to walk in or an artist or actor or,of course, a celebrity. And it happens.
Perhaps a fitting thing about Ballato is that for all its ‘musicianconnections’ you don’t get to hear any music at all in there. It’s a serious food joint where I’d think the big names of music and the artscome down for some serious noshing. By all accounts though, EmilioVitolo who’s been in the restaurant business in New York for morethan 20 years is still a struggler, despite his restaurant being a hitamong the hip. But at Ballato, he’d rather make a great bowl of pastathan a vault full of greenbacks. I’d go again if I can to the place wheresome great musicians like to eat great food. If you’re in NewYork, skip the Statue of Liberty and head towards EastHouston.
To give feedback, stream or download the music mentioned in thiscolumn, go to http://blogs.hindustantimes.com/download-central, follow
argus48 on Twitter or visit our website:www.hindustantimes.com/brunch
Sanjoy Narayan
indulge
Hint: It’s not a nightclub. It doesn’t advertise. There’s no website (and hell, the owner’s still a struggler)
Where (Some)Musicians
Love To Eat
eat | play | listen
LOOKS CAN BE DECEPTIVEAt Emilio’s Ballato in New York’s East Houston Street, the few tables and chairs
are nondescript – it’s the food that makes hip musicians flock to it
PHOT
O CO
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NNIE
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MON
S
do
wnl
oad
cen
tral
GAME FOR GRUB(From left) Lenny
Kravitz, Justin Bieber,Snoop Dogg, David
Bowie... they all loveEmilio’s Ballato
PHOTOS: REUTERS
POVERTY TOURISM in India may be passé these days, whatwith droves of high-rollers flying in their private jets to invadeour palace hotels and luxury resorts, but hard-luck storieshave found fertile ground elsewhere: on Indian television
shows. No matter which channel you turn to or which programmeyou watch, the song remains the same: the participants vie with oneanother to tell viewers just how badly off they are, and how this stinton TV has the potential to change their lives for the better.
On Masterchef India, we have already met two ‘single mothers’ whoare living away from their children – cue quivering chins and discreettears followed by brave smiles – and hope to reunite withthem if they do well on this show. No, I can’t work outeither how these two events are related but the ladiesbring up their domestic troubles whenever the opportu-nity presents itself and the judges look suitably sympa-thetic. Does this make the food they cook taste any bet-ter? No clue. Should their sad lives make a difference totheir scores when the results are tabulated? Of coursenot. And yet these ‘personal problems’ crop up ever sooften.
Meanwhile Kaun Banega Crorepati (KBC) has recastitself as a show for India’s Less Fortunate. The catchlineof the show says it all: ‘Koi bhi aadmi chhota nahin hota.’The promise is clear: this is the show that ‘aam aadmi kokhaas bana deta hai.’ In keeping with the theme, partici-pants roll on to tell their stories of woe to the greatestsuperstar of them all, Amitabh Bachchan, and confesshow they are looking to transform their lives by a big win.This one hopes to pay off his debts with the prize money;the other wants to buy a house for his parents. This one wants to com-plete her studies; the other wants to send his kids abroad to study. Sofar, so heart-breaking.
Take the lucky chap from a small Bihar village who won the R5 crorepay-off (and was promptly – if somewhat predictably – nicknamedSlumdog Millionaire). Sushil Kumar grew up in a mud house with aleaking roof, didn’t even own a TV set and had to watch the earlierseasons of KBC at a neighbour’s house. A government clerk, he taughtat a local institute to supplement his income while he studied to crackthe civil services exam so that he could fulfil his dream of becomingan IAS officer. But now, with the KBC prize money, he could buy anew house for his family, give enough money to his brothers to set upbusinesses of their own, and sit and home to prepare for the civil serv-ices exam rather than working two jobs.
Kumar’s was the typical rags-to-riches story that makes the stuffof television TRPs these days, an arc that goes effortlessly from deepdeprivation to fame and money, taking in a teary TV appearance alongthe way. Clearly, to make it in reality television – or game shows, forthat matter – these days, your reality has to be more gritty than glossy.
And by allowing the participants to tell their stories, these shows
tap into our love of the underdog. The back stories also help to human-ise the participants on these shows, to make them flesh-and-bloodcreatures that we care about. And that makes it easier to evoke sym-pathy and a certain fellow-feeling (otherwise just how badly would wereact to somebody else walking away with a R5 crore prize while welolled about on our sofas?) for the participants of these shows. Thesubliminal message is clear: if they can transform their lives, maybewe are in with a chance as well.
Small wonder then that the format of using hard-luck stories as amagnet has been adopted by reality shows across the board. India’sGot Talent could just as well have been titled India’s Got All Teary asthe sob stories piled on. The winners of the first season, the Princedance troupe from Orissa, were sold as the underdogs of the compe-tition, impoverished performers from one of the more impoverishedstates of the Indian Union. This, despite the fact that they were so tal-ented that they would have won on sheer merit. And yet, their back-story was told and re-told... and then told yet again for good measure.
There is no mistaking the message: television can change lives; itcan make fortunes; it can transform destinies. It can take a poor manwho lives in a mud hut in a Bihar village and turn him into a crorepati.It can unearth unknown talents in the depths of rural India and makethem national superstars.
In other words, reality television has the potential to change yourreality. There’s just one caveat: don’t bother to apply if you are mid-dle-class and middle-income. Unless you have a hard luck story to tell– and sell – you simply don’t stand a chance.
[email protected]. Follow Seema on Twitter at twitter.com/seemagoswami
SeemaGoswami
indulgesp
ecta
tor
16
TO MAKE IT IN REALITY TELEVISIONTHESE DAYS, YOUR REALITY HAS TO BE
MORE GRITTY THAN GLOSSYHINDUSTAN TIMES WEEKLY MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 6, 2011
Reality television can change your life; solong as it was pretty grim to begin with
eat | play | listen | live
From RagsTo Riches
DREAM COME TRUESushil Kumar’s win inKBC was the typicalrags-to-riches storythat makes the stuff of television TRPs
these days
THE REAL WINNERThe Prince dance
troupe from Orissa,winners of the
first season of India’sGot Talent, were soldas the underdogs of
the competition
WE ARE FAMILYOn Masterchef India, we
have already met two‘single mothers’ whohope to reunite with
their children if they dowell on the show
Travel
IT MAY have been because our feet wererefusing to comply or because after two days,we were gasping for some non-Gothic air.What-ever the reason, it was in a Prague
street that we succumbed to the best foot massage– right in the middle of Franz Kafka country.
It’s not what one should fly to the Czech Republicfor. But let not the travel literature and 10-things-to-do-in-Prague lists limit you either. Prague (orPraha) is like your favourite film – you can watch itfrom any scene and every time you’re surprised todiscover something new.
GOING LIKE CLOCKWORKLike all travellers, we had done our homework. Butnothing can prepare you for your Prague moment.Mine happened on the second day. After checkingfor weather updates (130 Celsius with cold winds),we tumbled out of our room on to one of Prague’sbusiest streets near Old Town square.
Following the swarm of tourists and ignoringthe many cafes (Prague’s famous beer, PilsnerUrquell, would have to wait), the cobbled streetsand baroque facades, we reached the Square. Thatis when I saw the mass of heads looking upwards.
They were all staring at the toweringAstronomical Clock or Orloj. The medieval clocktower has an astronomical dial, with the positionsof the sun and moon and a calendar dial representing the months. The real pageantrybegins when it’s time to announce the hour. Thisis when four carved figures around the dialscome to life. They represent Greed holding a bagof money, Vanity with a hand mirror, the Turksymbolising entertainment, and the most inter-esting, Death, a skeleton that rings a tiny bell tosignal the hour.
BLAST FROM THE PAST The square is also where we met our guide, who tookus on a long but exhilarating walk of Prague. She firstpointed to the Gothic two-spired Church of Our Ladybefore Tyn on the other side of Old Town Square. Thechurch spires end in golden globules (something wenotice across Prague). We were told that these con-tained building maps so that in case the structurewas destroyed, it could still be rebuilt.
We next skipped through Prague’s most expen-sive street – Pariska – with the best-dressed peopleand even better dressed windows. Past theRudolfinum, the stunning neo-Renaissance home ofthe Czech Philharmonic Orchestra, we found our-selves on one of Prague’s many bridges. Our guidetold us that on January 1 each year, local men, in ashow of bravado, jump into the Vltava river below.Last year, she said, the temperature on that daywas -60 Celsius.
She also pointed out to a giantmetronome (a pendulum that indi-cates tempo of a piece of music)that stands in the exact same spotwhich once played host to thetallest Stalin statue in the world.That one was dynamited out of exis-tence in 1991 once the former
Soviet Russia broke up. But the metronome’s posi-tion continues to be a massive reminder of thecountry’s Communist past.
UP THE STEEP SLOPEJust beyond the bridge, in the Mala Strana (LesserTown) area, lies the expansive Wallenstein Palace.Built in the Baroque style to rival Prague Castle, ithouses the Czech Senate. Manicured gardens aside,the compound has a wall that looks like it’s all skullsand bones. But these are just artificial stalactites.
The way past these gardens to the castle(Pra ský hrad) district is dotted with a wine andbeer garden, all excellent spots to take a breather.It was here that I had my Praha moment. Afterhaving climbed the broad steps, I turned to look atthe view. And it was from this vantage point thatthe city with its thousand spires and the Vltavawith its bridges opened its cobbled heart to me.
The world’s largest castle compound is an archi-tecture obsessor’s 3D dream. Every possible style iscontained within this area. The haunting St VitusCathedral is a stellar Gothic example; the Basilicaof St George is styled in the Romanesque tradition.The castle also houses a monastery and museums.
I’LL BE BACKThe Czech Republic may have shrugged its commu-nist pall, but we were looking forward to walking
down Wenceslas Square. The broad Boulevard,now Prague’s commercial centre, was the loca-tion of many protests during the VelvetRevolution. But it doesn’t take long to go from
let’s-down-some-beers to let’s-look-in-awe. A 20-minute walk away is the Jewish Quarter
(Josefov). Once a thriving ghetto, it is areminder of a chilling past.
Our three and a half days in Prague, werejust about enough to skim the surface. But if
one has to devour each layer, it’s impor-tant to view the city like that earliermentioned favourite film.
Nothing can prepare you for the Prague moment – it’s a mix ofawe-inspiring view and old-world charm – but with a modern twist
text and photos by Jhilmil Motihar
SCENES FROM A CITY The Astronomical Clock (far left); Wenceslas Square (above);
The Neo-Renaissance Rudolfinum (left); A hot dog vendor(below); Detail of a gate at Prague Castle (far below)
TRAVEL INFOGETTING THERE: A number of air-lines like Swiss, Emirates, KLM,Air France and Turkish Airwayshave flights to Prague. VISAS: A Schengen visa is required. See ttp://www.mzv.cz/newdelhi/en/index.htm
HINDUSTAN TIMES WEEKLY MAGAZINE18 NOVEMBER 6, 2011
POINT ME TOPRAGUE
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Wellness
SOUP IS a great way toget the best of nutritionin a delicious form.
Soups are good for reviving ourhealth and are low-cal. For allrecipes below, toss all ingredi-ents in a pot, stir well and cookfor five to 10 minutes.
WHEN MARKETING professional DineshAthaide slowed down his bike at a busy Mumbaiintersection, he had no idea what was going tohappen next. Athaide braked to let a senior citi-zen cross the road, but instead lost control of hisbike, and broke his leg.
“I had no idea I had broken my leg, but after Igot home that day, I was in pain,” recallsAthaide. He decided to go to the doctor, andafter an X-ray confirmed the break, spent amonth in a cast. “After that, I used a walkingstick for three days,” says Athaide, who hassince made a full recovery.
Fractured bone? Don’t let it set you back
by Mignonne Dsouza
WARNING SIGNSBike accidents are the mostcommon causes of brokenlegs, accounting for 50 to 60per cent of incidents. Thiscould be via a direct hit tothe leg, resulting in the bonebreaking at more than oneplace, and is also accompa-nied by skin abrasions. If aperson sustains a fall fromthe bike – where the bone isbroken at one place – it’stermed a rotational injury.
Sportsmen playing foot-ball and hockey can also suf-fer from broken legs.Seniors are also prone tosuch incidents due to falls inbathrooms and other areas.
Finally, broken legs mayresult from a stress fracture– this happens when peoplenot used to regular exercisesuddenly get into an inten-sive exercise schedule.
THE SOLUTIONSA broken leg can be easilyidentified – one can see thatthe leg is deformed and
swollen. Sufferers may alsohear a crunching sound,either at the moment ofimpact or when walkingafter an accident. Theremay be severe pain and abluish discolouration.
The first move is to splintthe leg, and seek medicalopinion. In case of a closedinjury, the swelling isreduced and the leg is keptimmbolised and elevated. Ifthere are skin abrasions, thepriority is to stop the bleed-ing and see that there is nonerve damage. Then, a softplaster is applied, until theswelling reduces, afterwhich a final plaster can be
applied. These days,patients do not need to suf-fer a heavy cast, which cancause itching and mobilityproblems. Lightweight plas-ter bandages can be appliedafter a day or two, once theswelling has subsided.
If the bone is broken atmore than one place, platescrews and rods may needto be fixed, via a minimallyinvasive method. Thepatient can start walkingthe next day.
LIFESTYLE CHOICESPeople who use bikes shouldhave leg guards installed. Inuncomplicated fractures,the patient can make a fullrecovery. Other cases depe-nd on the extent of injury –if blood vessels are dam-aged, disability can result; inmultiple fractures, there arechances of deformity.(Inputs by Dr IPS Oberoi, sen-
ior consultant orthopaedics,Artemis Health Institute,
Gurgaon))
WHAT HAPPENEDWhen one breaks a leg, that could mean any-
thing: (a) a hairline crack (where the bones havecracked, but not broken), which is a mild injury,
(b) a closed injury, where the bone breaks in one or several places but without any
associated skin damage, (c) a compound fracture, where there is a loss of skin or muscleassociated with the fracture. Finally, in the most
serious instance, the broken leg is also associated with injury to a nerve or blood
vessel surrounding the bone.
NEXT WEEK: BORDERLINE DIABETES
Slurp it upPoint Break
CAST OFF People who use bikes should consider having leg guards
RECIPESBROCCOLI & ONION SOUPIngredients: Broccoli, chopped;Celery or leeks, diced; Onion(white or red), chopped; Veg-etable stock; Salt and pepper;Thyme or oregano, dried orfresh; 2-3 cloves of garlic,chopped; 1 tsp butter or olive oil
SPINACH TOFU SOUPIngredients: 3 cups hot water orstock; 1 cup spinach, chopped; 1cup tofu, chopped; 1 tsp sesameseeds, roasted; Salt and pepper; 1small piece of boiled and mashedpotato for thickness
VEGETABLE CLEAR SOUPIngredients: 1 tsp chili, minced; 1 tspgarlic, minced; 2 tsp coriander, chopped; 4 cups vegetable stock;1 onion, chopped; 1/2 cup carrots, sliced; 1 cup celery, leeks orspring onions, sliced; 1 cup cabbage, diced; 1/2 cup green beans,diced; 1/2 cup lentils; 1 tsp lemon juice; Salt & pepper
CELERY SOUPIngredients: Celery, including the rind; Butter; 1 potato, peeledand diced; 1 onion, chopped; Vegetable stock; Brown bread;Walnuts; Olive oil; Salt and freshly milled black pepper
LEMONGRASS SOUPIngredients: 6 cups vegetable broth; 3 stalks fresh lemongrass;1” square fresh galangal, grated; 1/2 medium white onion,diced; 1/2 cup mushrooms, sliced; 1 red bell pepper, sliced intothin strips; 1/2 can water chestnuts, sliced
CABBAGE CARROT SOUPIngredients: 2 garlic cloves; 2 carrots; 1 tbsp olive oil; 1 largeonion, chopped; 8 cups cabbage, shredded; 2 1/2 cups vegetable stock; 3/4 tsp ginger, ground; 1/4 tsp salt; 1/4 tspblack pepper; 3/4 cups fresh dill; 1/3 cups tomato paste
BENEFITS OF HAVINGSOUP IN THE EVENING■ Food intake is reduced ■ Fresh soups are rich infibre, which helps reducecholesterol and diabetes.■ Soups containing veg-etables and herbs arecurative for people having pain in the joints.■ It is good for reducingthe effects of atheroscle-rosis in the blood vessels.■ Vegetable soup is richin vitamins and minerals.■ It has soluble fibres,which facilitate bowelmovements.
PHOTOS: THINKSTOCK
CASENOTES
A five part series
PART II
BROKEN LEG
HINDUSTAN TIMES WEEKLY MAGAZINE20
THE SUPERHERO CAPER RA.ONE’S SUPEROPENING BEAT THE OTHER KHAN FILMS
SALMAN VOWED TO PROTECT HIS SLOT ASTHE NO. 1 KHAN WITH BODYGUARD ON EID
SMART CONTENT AND EXECUTION MADEAAMIR KHAN’S 3 IDIOTS A TOP RANKER
WHEN SHAH Rukh Khan decided torelease his superhero extravaganzaRa.One on Diwali day (Wednesday,October 26, 2011), audiences took a
break from their Diwali cleaning to wonderwhether the superstar was taking a gamble. In thefirst five days, Ra.One garnered `91.10 crore inIndia alone (at the time of going to press), andpress reports have exclaimed at the record-break-ing ‘biggest Diwali day opening’ and ‘the biggestever weekend release for both India and the over-seas box office’. SRK’s gamble seems to have paidoff. He is, for now at least, the leading Khan at theBollywood box office, having trounced SalmanKhan who held pole position after his Eid block-buster, Bodyguard (August 31).
Ra.One released across more than 3,000screens in India in both 2D and 3D and wasdubbed in Tamil and Telugu as well, grossing `170crore worldwide in the opening weekend (first fivedays of release). However, it is Aamir Khan’s3 Idiots that remains at a hard-to-beat numberspot among the Khan triumvirate’s films. Its over-all net collections are still hard to touch. ButDabangg did break the first-day and first weekend
record set by 3 Idiots and then, ayear later, Bodyguard trumpedDabangg. And now it’s Ra.One’sturn to upset the charts.
With each subsequent release,not only are Aamir, Salman andShah Rukh nudging one anotherout of Bollywood blockbusterslots, but with the buzz aroundDecember release Don 2, ShahRukh might be competing againsthis own record-breaking openingfigures as well. Consider thatSalman Khan has been his ownclosest competition in the last year– first with Dabangg hitting a highnote, followed by Ready, both ofwhich were upstaged byBodyguard.
Trade analysts agree that the adulation and fanfollowing for the three Khans is unmatched, andfilms starring any of these three mega stars guar-antee an opening. “They have been ruling the boxoffice for more than two decades. We say AamirKhan created history with 3 Idiots, even though itwas also Raju Hirani’s film,” says Vajir Singh, edi-tor Box Office India.
Examining the five-day collections of Bodyguardand Ra.One, Komal Nahta, editor, FilmInformation and koimoi.com, adds, “Earlier itwould take a year or two for a film to breakrecords. Now it takes a few weeks because of the
number of screens and each filmtrying to outdo each other in termsof prints, screens and shows.” SunilPunjabi, CEO of Cinemax India Ltd,agrees. “The weekend is big becausethe returns are immediate. Youdon’t need to wait 26 weeks to makemoney any more.” He suggests thatthe first two weeks’ collections areimportant to indicate whether a filmis profitable or not.
“The opening weekend is glamourand hype; but if the film has meat itwill sustain weekdays. And if it cansustain the second weekend and thesecond week’s days, then you knowyou have a success on your hands. 3Idiots saw a dip only from the third
weekend,” says Punjabi. On the importance of theopening day, three-day and five-day collections,Nahta adds, “This is partly because of the numberof screens and partly a result of hype. There are nosecond chances and the thrust is no longer on con-tent but being able to attract the audience.”
Besides Don 2, the other Khans’ films are onlyexpected in the next financial year, so at least in2011-12, the biggest competition to Shah Rukh andSalman will be Shah Rukh. So what is it about thethree Khans that keeps them at the top of thenumbers game? “Aamir guarantees the best con-tent. Salman’s audience wants him to have a greatrole, good songs, look good and dance well. Theyare not bothered about the subject. Shah Rukh isstill huge overseas. His fans want a good subjectbut they mostly want to see him in romantic films.If Ra.One had had that romantic angle, it mighthave done even better,” says Nahta.
So the verdict is unanimous: a Khan is as big ashis next release, and one Khan’s release is thebiggest only till the next Khan’s film comes along.
The box office competition between the three Khans is
escalating by the dayby Udita Jhunjhunwala
NOVEMBER 6, 2011
THERE’S NO KHAN-TEST
Movie Opening day Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 5-Day TotalRa.One R18.00cr R25.10cr R16.00cr R16.00cr R16.00cr R91.10crBodyguard R21.00cr R17.50cr R13.25cr R14.85cr R19.50cr R86.10cr3 Idiots (2009) R15.75cr* R12.00cr R13.25cr R11.00cr R9.65cr R61.65cr
* Includes paid previews on Thursday Note: All figures are net all-India collections. Courtesy koimoi.com
FIVE DAY FIGHT: The Numbers Have Spoken
DON 2MAN IN THE MIRROR: Forthis much anticipatedDecember release, ShahRukh might be compet-ing with his own record-breaking opening figuresof Ra.One.
Reel World
WHICH SUPERHEROWOULD YOU LIKE TO BEAND WHY?FLASH,BECAUSE HECAN GET ANYWHERE IN AFLASH!
IF YOU COULD HAVE HAD A STAR PERFORM AT YOURWEDDING. WHO WOULD IT BE?BOB DYLAN. IFMUSIC BE THEFOOD OF LOVE,PLAY ON!
LIFE IN THE FASTFOOD LANE:CHOOSE YOURMENUSUSHI ANDSASHMI,MISO SOUP
PERSONAL AGENDA
NOVEMBER 6, 2011HINDUSTAN TIMES WEEKLY MAGAZINE22
One word that describes you best? Discreet.
If a traffic constable hauled you up, what wouldyou do?Confuse him.
Your first kiss was…Delicious.
You get high on?A new idea, a new frame, a little detail and colourpalettes.
A place where you would like to be lost for amonth?A gadget-free beach.
A tune you can’t get out of your head?Aik Alif by Saieen Zahoor.
What did you do with your first paycheque?
Bought something for mymother.
The one law you wouldbreak if you could getaway with it?The airport baggagescanners.
Do you love Luv Storys?Moonstruck bythem!!!
If you could havechosen your ownname, what wouldyou have chosen?I will stay with mine.
Share a secret withus… you can trust us,we’ll only print it!
I’m very ticklish.
You are late for workand all the roads are
jammed. Choose a modeof transport: a cycle, a
horse or a skateboard. Why?Skateboard – a big sense of freedom, mobility,manoeuverability and fun.
Earth’s crowded and chock full of trash. Chooseanother planet.Planet X, the new planet.
Choose: Air India or Indian Railways.Indian Railways. I spent many months on The Darjeeling Limited.
What makes your day?Small gestures. Little things.
What screws it up?Nagging and people snapping.
Love is…...permanent impermanence. Impermanent permanence.
The last time you rode on a bus?The red bus. The airport shuttle at Goa airport.
The weirdest thing that ever went into yourmouth?My foot!
Your favourite freedom fighter?Che Guevara.
The colour ‘pink’ for you is...Pink flamingos (Phoenicopterus ruber) in Yucatán, Mexico.
The last movie that made you cry?The Diving Bell And The Butterfly, directed by Julian Schnabel. It’s a translation of the Frenchmemoir Le scaphandre et le papillon by journalistJean-Dominique Bauby.
If you were the last person left on earth, whatwould you do?Initially, I would drive around to figure out if I amreally the last person! Wouldn’t you? Then explore. Experiment and make stuff with anythingthat I felt like creating. Photographing and filming,listening to the sounds of nature.
– Interviewed by Veenu Singh
PERSONAL AGENDAPHOTOGRAPHER/FILMMAKER
ARADHANA SETHSince ‘production designer’ doesn’t sound that glamorous, we simply decided to call Aradhana Seth a ‘filmmaker’for the purposes of this interview. Then we realised there’s more to her: she’s a photographer, director, installa-tion artist and also, author Vikram Seth’s sister. Seth has dabbled in decidedly erudite pursuits like investigatingarchitectural history. She has also worked on films like Deepa Mehta’s Earth and Fire and Wes Anderson’s TheDarjeeling Limited. Which, in our book, makes her super interesting. Catch her first exhibition, Everyone CarriesA Room About Inside, her take on ‘space,’ from November 7 to December 8 at Chemould Prescott Road, Mumbai
PHOTO COURTESY: EVA SCHLEGEL
