holden town by brett lovell episode 8: enter sandman...
TRANSCRIPT
EXT. THE TREE WHERE KENWORTH DIED. DAY
The tree where Kenworth died is adorned with bouquets of flowers and a hand-made cross. There is nobody in sight when a mysterious black Holden that looks like a hearse pulls up next to it. A sinister looking elderly man, Mr. Grey(80), exits the hearse and goes to inspect the makeshift shrine. He reads the card that’s attached to the cross that was hand-made by Mack(14), Kenworth’s younger brother.
MISTER GREY“To my brother Kenworth. I miss you. Love always, Mack.”
Mr. Grey closes the card and walks back to his black Holden hearse. He gets in and starts the engine, before driving off.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE MALDON CEMETERY CAR PARK. DAY
Mr. Grey’s black Holden hearse pulls up at the Maldon cemetery. In the distance Mack is visible standing at the grave of his deceased brother, Kenworth.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE MALDON CEMETERY. DAY
As Mack looks solemnly down at Kenworth’s grave he hears a voice from behind.
MR. GREY (V.O.) Shouldn’t you be at school?
Mack turns around and sees Mr. Grey standing behind him.
MACKNo, I do home schooling.
MR. GREYWhy aren’t you at home doing your schooling?
MACKBecause my dad’s at work.
MR. GREYI see. And what does your father do?
2.
MACKHe works at the servo.
MR. GREYSo, what does he teach you?
MACKNothing.
MR. GREYI see.
MACKI’d better get going. I want to get home in time for Jerry Springer.
MR. GREYOK. Have fun watching Jerry Springer. I hope you learn something.
MACKYeah, I do. I learn how people don’t have a clue about what’s important in life.
MR. GREYI can’t argue with you there.
MACKSee you.
MR. GREYGoodbye, young Mack.
MACKHow do you know my name?
MR. GREYJust a guess.
MACKWhat’s your name?
MR. GREYMr. Grey.
MACKWell, goodbye, Mr. Grey.
MR. GREYI’ll see you around, Mack.
MACKYeah, maybe.
3.
Mack leaves on his bike as Mr. Grey looks down at Kenworth’s grave. He turns and watches Mack ride off.
CUT TO:
EXT. BILLY’S HOUSE. MALDON. SUNSET
Billy(46) pulls up in his Holden Sandman panel van and exits. It appears that he has been to football practice as he is wearing a Sydney Swans jersey and shorts and is carrying his Sydney Swans football bag. As he makes his way towards his front door he notices the lights on in the house next door. Mr. Grey’s black Holden hearse is also parked in the driveway, but Billy pays it little attention as he enters through his front door.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY’S HOUSE. MALDON. SUNSET
As Billy enters he sees his son Mack relaxing in a beanbag, playing his antiquated gaming console.
BILLYHey, Mate! Did you see that someone has moved in next door?
MACKNo! When did that happen?
BILLY No idea, Mate. But the lights are on and there’s a car in the drive, unless it’s a ghost? I’m hitting the showers.
MACKWe’ve only got one shower, Dad.
BILLYThat’s footy talk, Mate! How was school?
MACKGood.
Billy continues off towards the bathroom as Mack gets up out of the beanbag to see who has moved in next door.
EXT. BILLY’S HOUSE. MALDON. NIGHT
Mack exits the front door and sees Mr. Grey’s black Holden hearse parked in the driveway of the house next door.
4.
He looks petrified. The front door of the house next door opens and Mack quickly disappears back inside.
Mack peeks out of a tiny gap in the curtain and sees Mr. Grey heading towards the black Holden. Mr. Grey turns towards Mack before getting in his hearse and waves out. The curtain is quickly closed.
ROLL TITLES MONTAGE “HOLDEN TOWN: ENTER SANDMAN”
CUT TO:
EXT. OPEN ROAD TO THE CEMETERY. DAY
Mack is pedalling along the open road out of town with some flowers in his hand that he has picked from the garden.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE TREE WHERE KENWORTH DIED. DAY
Mack is at the tree putting some of the fresh flowers at the site where his brother Kenworth died. He hears a car coming and looks up to see Mr. Grey’s black Holden hearse go driving by. Mr. Grey honks the horn as he goes past.
CUT TO:
EXT. KENWORTH’S GRAVE. CEMETERY. DAY
As Mack arrives at the cemetery he sees that Mr. Grey’s black Holden hearse is already parked there. He looks around but can’t see any sign of Mr. Grey. Mack makes his way over towards Kenworth’s grave with the remaining flowers in his hands.
CUT TO:
DISTANT SHOT OF THE CEMETERY AS MR. GREY ENTERS THE SHOT AND WATCHES AS MACK GOES AND LAYS FLOWERS AT KENWORTH’S GRAVE. WHO IS MR. GREY? WE ARE YET TO FIND OUT, BUT HE CERTAINLY APPEARS SINISTER.
CUT TO:
EXT. BILLY’S HOUSE. MALDON. DAY
Mack arrives back home and sees that Mr. Grey’s black Holden hearse is parked in the driveway next door.
5.
Mack parks his bike and looks unsure about Mr. Grey’s presence as he enters his house.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY’S HOUSE. MALDON. DAY
As Mack watches Jerry Springer he hears a car start. He goes to the window and pulls the curtain back ever so slightly. He sees that Mr. Grey is in his black Holden hearse and pulling out of the driveway. Mr. Grey gives him a wave as he drives off. Mack quickly releases the curtain.
CUT TO:
INT. THE SERVICE STATION WHERE BILLY WORKS. DAY
Billy is busy chatting to an attractive single mother(35) sitting in her car. She is smiling as Billy flirts with her through the driver’s side window.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY’S HOUSE. MALDON. NIGHT
Mack is in the kitchen cooking dinner as he waits for his father to return home. He peels the vegetables and puts them in a pot to boil. He then gets some frozen rissoles out of the freezer and puts them in the microwave to heat.
END TITLE MONTAGE
LATER
INT. BILLY’S HOUSE. MALDON. NIGHT
The vegetables are boiling and Mack is sitting in the beanbag watching TV when he hears Billy’s Sandman panel van pull up out front. He gets up out of the beanbag and goes to the curtain where he sees Billy heading off to Mr. Grey’s house. He watches as Billy knocks on the door and then Mr. Grey answers. Billy and Mr. Grey appear to be having a conversation about something. Mr. Grey looks towards the window where Mack is peering out from. He waves to Mack, who quickly releases the curtain.
MOMENTS LATER
Billy enters the house and sees Mack busy dishing up dinner for the evening.
6.
BILLYHey, Mate! That smells good! What are you cooking?
MACKJust rissoles and vegies.
BILLYNice one! I’m starving!
MACKWell, I’m just dishing it up now.
BILLYThat was good timing, wasn’t it?!
Billy makes his way to the dining table as Mack puts the plates on the table.
BILLY (CONT'D)That looks amazing, Mate!
MACKThey’re just vegies and rissoles.
BILLYYeah, Mate! My favorite! Let’s dig in, hey!
They both go about putting their sauce on and then start eating. Billy waits until his mouth is filled with food and then decides to chat.
BILLY (CONT'D)Got some good news, Mate! I’ve got a hot date with a smoking single mum tomorrow night.
MACKThat’s good.
BILLYSo I’ve organised you a baby-sitter.
MACKI’m fine by myself.
BILLYToo late, Mate! The deed is done.
MACKSo, who’s taking care of me?
BILLYThe guy next door, Mr. Grey! That was lucky, wasn’t it?!
7.
(MORE)
I won’t be too late though. I’m just taking her to Bendigo for a movie and dinner, and then who knows? Maybe the Sandman will get a rock’n, hey? I haven’t Christened it yet.
MACK(not happy)
Is he going to come over here?
BILLYYeah, Mate! I told him to come over around five. That’ll give you time to come home and get changed out of your school gear.
MACK(not happy)
Great.
CUT TO:
EXT. MALDON SUBURBAN STREET. MORNING
Mack is walking to school in his school uniform. He doesn’t look very happy though as he kicks stones about the place. As he walks along he hears a car horn sound. He turns around just as Mr. Grey’s black Holden hearse goes driving by with Mr. Grey waving from the window.
CUT TO:
LATER
EXT. BILLY’S HOUSE. MALDON. AFTERNOON
As Mack approaches his house he sees that Mr. Grey’s black Holden hearse is parked next door. He goes to his front door, unlocks it and enters.
INT. BILLY’S HOUSE. MALDON. AFTERNNON
As soon as Mack enters the house he peers out of the curtain, but there is no sign of Mr. Grey. Suddenly right next to him there is a knock on the door that scares the life out of him. Mack reluctantly goes to the door and opens it, only to see Mr. Grey standing right there in front of him.
MR. GREYHi, Mack! I guess I’m a bit early, am I?
8.
BILLY (CONT'D)
MACKI didn’t think that you were coming over until five?
MR. GREYI was just sitting around, so I thought I might as well come over and see you. Can I come in?
MACKYeah, I’ve still got homework to do though.
MR. GREY That’s OK. I won’t interrupt you.
Mr. Grey enters the house as Mack closes the door behind him. Mr. Grey peruses the room as Mack looks on, unsure of this strange man.
MR. GREY (CONT'D)Don’t mind me, jump back in your beanbag.
MACKOK!
Mack jumps back in his beanbag and starts flicking through the TV stations.
MR. GREY So, what do you want to do tonight?
MACKI don’t know. Play video games?
MR. GREY I’m too old for video games, Mack. I don’t understand that modern technology. Let’s just chat, shall we?
MACKWhat about?
MR. GREY I don’t know.
Mr. Grey walks over to the sideboard with the framed family photos on it.
MR. GREY (CONT'D)This is a nice photo of you and Kenworth. Tell me about this. It looks like you two were very close?
9.
MACKYeah, sometimes. That was taken out at Wombat’s farm. We stayed out there a fair bit. My dad took that photo.
MR. GREYSo, tell me about it!
MACKOK. If you really want to know, it’s not a very interesting story though.
MR. GREYThat’s OK, I’ve got all the time in the world.
MACKOK? So, that photo was taken when we were going to feed the cows. My dad was still in bed, but me, Kenny and Wombat were up in the hay shed getting ready to feed the cows ...
FADE TO:
EXT. WOMBAT’S FARM. THE TRACTOR SHED. MORNING
Wombat(33), Kenworth(17) and Mack come walking along the dirt road towards Wombat’s tractor.
MOMENTS LATER
They arrive at the tractor that has a carrier tray attached to the back of it.
WOMBATOK, guys! Jump on.
Kenworth and Mack go and stand on the carrier tray that is currently resting on the ground as Wombat goes and gets up into the tractor cab. Wombat turns the key and the tractor’s engine comes to life, belching black smoke up into the air.
WOMBAT (CONT'D)Going up?!
10.
Wombat pulls on one of the tractor’s hydraulic system levers and the tray rises up off the ground, lifting Kenworth and Mack with it. Wombat puts the tractor in gear and heads towards the nearby hay shed.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE HAY SHED. MORNING
The tractor approaches the hay shed and does a sharp U-turn before reversing back towards the hay stack. The tray gets right up close to the stacked bales. Wombat then lowers the carrier tray, with Kenworth and Mack on it, back down onto the ground. Wombat gets out of the tractor cab and makes his way to the hay bales. Then both he and Kenworth start loading bales onto the tray. They load four and are ready to go, but there doesn’t seem to be any sight of Mack.
WOMBATWhere did Mack go?
KENWORTHDon’t know.
MACK (V.O.)I’m hiding in my tunnels! Come and find me!
WOMBATYou watch out for snakes in there!
Mack quickly emerges from the side of the hay stack and Wombat makes his way back towards the tractor cab as Kenworth and Mack climb up on top of the bales that are loaded on the tractor carrier tray. Wombat turns to see that Kenworth and Mack are both ready before lifting the tray back up.
WOMBAT (CONT'D)Going up!
Wombat pulls on a lever and the tray raises its passengers and cargo up into the air. Kenworth and Mack are sitting on top of the bales as Wombat puts the tractor into gear. They then go chugging off towards the bottom paddock.
SHORTLY AFTER
As the tractor is making its way for the bottom paddock Billy appears at the gate from the farmhouse. He makes his way through the small gate in his pink dressing gown and approaches the on-coming tractor. Wombat pulls up next to him to say hello.
11.
WOMBAT Morning, Mate! What gets you up so early?
BILLYI’ve just come to get a photo of the boys doing their farm work.
MACKCome with us, Dad!
BILLYNo thanks, Mate. It’s a bit early for me.
Billy makes his way around to the tray where Kenworth and Mack are perched atop the bales of hay. He lifts his camera and prepares to take their photo.
BILLY (CONT'D)Say cheese!
MACKCheezels!
Billy takes the photo.
BILLYOK, got it!
WOMBATWe’ll see you later, Mate!
Wombat puts the tractor back in gear and they continue on their way down towards the bottom paddock, as Billy makes his way back to the farmhouse.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE BOTTOM PADDOCK. MORNING
The tractor is making its way through the paddock and down to where the cattle are. The cattle see the tractor approaching with its cargo of hay and start bellowing as they run towards it.
MOMENTS LATER
The cattle fall in behind the tractor and try to eat the hay before it has even been thrown out, but Wombat continues to drive on.
WOMBAT OK, guys! Start throwing it off!
12.
Kenworth cuts the strings that binds one of the bales together and it quickly loosens and begins to fall apart. He folds up the pocket knife and puts it in his pocket. He grabs a thinnish slice of the bale and throws it out onto the paddock where some of the cows quickly congregate around it and start eating.
MACKPass me the knife, Kenny!
Kenworth passes Mack the pocket knife and Mack cuts the twine on the bale next to him. Mack then folds up the pocket knife and puts it in his pocket and starts throwing out the hay from its bale. The two of them continue to throw the hay from the tractor tray until it’s all gone.
LATER
The tractor makes its way back up the dirt track as the cows go about eating their way through the hay down in the paddock.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE FRONT YARD OF WOMBAT’S HOUSE. DAY
Mack comes walking to the front yard of Wombat’s house with a cricket bat. Kenworth is following him with a tennis ball and a roll of electrician’s tape in his hands.
KENWORTHSet up the keeper while I tape up the ball!
MACKOK!
Mack puts down the bat and goes and grabs a wooden outdoor table that’s set up on Wombat’s front porch. He carries it onto the grass near the end of the yard and rolls it on its side. He then goes back and gets one of the wooden chairs and goes back to the table. He sits the chair on its end in front of the table. The chair is to be their cricket stumps and the circular wooden table is their wicket keeper to prevent having to continually chase after the ball. As Mack is busy doing that, Kenworth is busy wrapping tape tightly around one side of the tennis ball to make it swing in the air. Mack goes and gets his bat again and takes his position in front of the cricket stumps. He practices a few shots as he waits for Kenworth to finish wrapping the tape around the ball. Kenworth breaks the tape and throws it on the ground, as the ball is now ready to bowl.
13.
KENWORTH OK! So, over the fence is out! And I’m not going to fetch it!
MACKBut into the fence is a still four, right?
KENWORTHYeah. And over the road on the full is a six. That garden there and that other garden over there are my two fielders, so if you hit it into either of them on the full you’re out. OK?
MACKOK.
KENWORTHAnd if you hit the house on the full you’re out as well.
MACKYeah, yeah! I know!
KENWORTH OK, then. Here comes my Lance Cairns!
MACKWhoever he is!
KENWORTHIt’s going to be an in-swinger!
MACKDon’t waste your time telling me. I can see the tape anyway.
Kenworth comes running in and does his impersonation of Lance Cairns bowling. (Lance Cairns was a New Zealand cricket player with a very defined bowling style.) Kenworth bowls the tennis ball, which swings away to the left as the black tape around it makes it deviate in the air. Mack swings at the ball and smacks it into the nearby garden fence.
MACK (CONT'D)He’s off the mark in style! That was a beautiful square-cut to the boundary by young Barker!
KENWORTHTurn it up!
14.
Mack goes over and fetches the ball out of the garden and throws it to Kenworth, who goes back and prepares for his next run up.
KENWORTH (CONT'D)OK. This is my Jeff Lawson! Are you ready?
MACKYep! Bring it on, Jeff!
Kenworth comes in and bowls his impersonation of Jeff Lawson. (Jeff Lawson was an Australian cricket player.) This time the ball goes swinging in straight at the stumps and Mack blocks it to prevent it hitting the stumps. The ball goes rolling straight back to Kenworth, who picks it up and then heads back for his next delivery.
KENWORTH OK, this one’s going to be my Dennis Lillee off the long run-up!
MACKOK! Bring it on, Dennis!
Kenworth comes running in off his long run-up and does his Dennis Lillee impersonation. (Dennis Lillee was an Australian cricketer.) The tape wrapped on the ball sends it swinging away from Mack. He swings his bat at it and the ball goes flying over the yard fence and out into the paddock.
KENWORTHHow’s that?!!!
Kenworth celebrates as Mack puts down the bat to go and fetch the ball. Kenworth picks up the bat and prepares for his turn to bat as Mack continues off into the paddock to look for the ball. Billy calls out through the nearby fly-screen door of Wombat’s house.
BILLY (V.O.)Hey, Kenny and Mack! Me and Wombat are going to catch some yabbies for dinner. Do you guys want to come?
KENWORTHYeah, for sure!
Kenworth shouts out to Mack, who is out in the paddock looking for the ball.
15.
KENWORTH (CONT'D)Hey, Mack! We’re going yabbying! Come on!
MACK (V.O.)OK! Coming! I’ll just get the ball. That was a beautiful square cut, wasn’t it?!
KENWORTHYeah, but it got you out, Mate!
MACK (V.O.)I hate that rule!
KENWORTHSorry, Mate! That’s life!
CUT TO:
EXT. THE PADDOCK WITH THE WATER DAM. DAY
Billy and Wombat are making their way towards the dam. Wombat is carrying a small Esky and a fishing net. Mack and Kenworth go running past in their board shorts. They run off towards the dam.
MACKWe’re going for a swim!
Kenworth and Mack continue to run off towards the dam.
WOMBATDon’t do that! You’ll scare the yabbies!
Kenworth and Mack pay no attention as they run to the dam and bomb-dive in.
WOMBAT (CONT'D)These young Barkers of yours, Mate. Do they ever listen?
BILLYYeah, I’ve taught them well, haven’t I?!
CUT TO:
EXT. THE DAM. DAY
Billy, Wombat, Kenworth and Mack are all spread-out around the edge of the dam. They are all crouching down and dangling fishing lines in the water. At the end of each line are small pieces of meat to attract the yabbies.
16.
BILLYI think I’ve got one, Wombat! Pass me the net!
MACKLet me see!
Wombat passes Billy the net as Mack goes running around the edge of the dam. As he goes past Kenworth he deliberately nudges him and Kenworth goes falling into the water.
MACK (CONT'D)Sorry, Kenny!
KENWORTHYou’re dead meat!
MACK You’ve got to catch me first!
Mack goes running off into the paddock as Kenworth wades out of the dam and goes running after him.
WOMBATDon’t stand on a thistle!
Billy returns his attention to his yabbie as Kenworth chases Mack around the paddock.
BILLY Nah, it’s gone.
KENWORTH (V.O.)Owww! I stood on a thistle!
Wombat just shakes his head as Billy continues to focus on his fishing line.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY’S HOUSE. MALDON
MR. GREYIt seems to me that you and Kenworth were very close.
MACKYeah, but we always fought.
MR. GREYYou often do with those that you love the most.
MACKI wish we didn’t though.
17.
MR. GREY If you did have a wish, what would you wish for, Mack? Apart from wishing Kenworth back to life.
MACKThat’s easy. I’d wish that somebody that needs it more than me could have my wish. I don’t need anything. All I see is people buying stuff they don’t need, while other people live on the streets and others can’t even get a glass of clean water.
MR. GREYYou’re an interesting young fellow, aren’t you, Mack?
MACKI don’t know. Am I?
MR. GREYI think so.
Mr. Grey picks up another framed photo.
MR. GREY (CONT'D)So, what’s this photo of?
Mr. Grey turns the photo and shows it to Mack.
MACKThat’s a photo of when we went to Bonnie Doon.
MR. GREYWhat’s Bonnie Doon?
MACKIt’s a lake, or a reservoir, or whatever you call it. But it’s about an hour and a half from here.
MR. GREY Tell me about it. It looks like you had a good time.
MACKYeah, it was OK. But that’s just another boring story.
18.
MR. GREYThat’s OK. I’m interested to know. You can never know too much about someone.
MACKOK. That was a long weekend and we went to Bonnie Doon to spend the weekend on a houseboat. It was ...
CUT TO:
EXT. BOONIE DOON RESERVOIR. VICTORIA. DAY
A houseboat is moored at the edge of the Bonnie Doon. Kenworth’s Monaro and Sergeant Smith’s Torana are both parked not far away, and Billy, Wombat, Rodney(54) and Sergeant Smith(69) are busy transferring their cartons of beer and Eskys from their respective cars to the houseboat. Meanwhile, Dazza(22) is reversing his Holden ute with Holden the speedboat on the boat trailer down into the water. Kenworth and Mack are both watching on as Dazza reverses the boat into the water. Inside the speedboat, Rock(22) is giving directions.
ROCKKeep going, Mate! About another two metres and we should be right!
Dazza continues to reverse the boat into the water.
ROCK (CONT'D)Yep! That’ll do us!
Dazza stops reversing and gets out of the ute.
ROCK (CONT'D)It’s time to turn Holden loose! Take him off his leash, Mate!
Dazza goes to the winch that’s currently holding Rock’s impressive speedboat, “Holden,” to the boat trailer. He starts unwinding the winch and the boat slides its way off the trailer and down into the water. Dazza goes down and uncouples the winch hook from the speedboat, finally pushing the boat out into the water. Rock turns the ignition key and the mighty engine starts to rumble.
ROCK (CONT'D)All aboard the Holden express!
MACKCool!
19.
Mack and Kenworth wade their way out through the water to the speedboat.
DAZZAHang on, Mate! I need to get the ute out of the water.
ROCKHolden waits for no man, Dazza! You know that! Except for Brocky! We’ll be back to get you in a minute.
DAZZAYeah! Well, enjoy driving Holden back to Holden Town.
ROCKAlright, Mate. We’ll wait for you.
Dazza gets back in his ute and proceeds to drive the boat trailer out of the water. He quickly parks off to the side and then wades his way through the water out to the rumbling speedboat. Dazza climbs up into the boat as Rock prepares to take off.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE TOP DECK OF THE HOUSEBOAT. DAY
Billy emerges up on the top deck of the houseboat and sees the boys about to leave in the speedboat.
BILLYWhere are you guys going?!
ROCKWe’re just taking Holden for a spin, Mate!
BILLYWell, don’t be too long. We’re about to set sail.
ROCKWe won’t, Mate!
Rock pushes the throttle forward and the speedboat goes roaring off into the distance.
CUT TO:
20.
INT. THE SPEEDBOAT. DAY
Mack looks back to Billy on the houseboat, fading into the distance. Mack gives him a wave and Billy waves back.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE MIDDLE OF THE RESERVOIR. DAY
The boat is roaring across the reservoir. The speed is exhilarating as the wind blows through their hair. They all have huge smiles as Rock puts Holden through its paces. Rock spins the boat around in an arc and water goes spraying everywhere. The boat speeds back towards the houseboat where Billy, Rodney, Wombat and Sergeant Smith are all standing up on the top deck, watching.
CUT TO:
INT. THE HOUSEBOAT. AFTERNOON
The houseboat is making its way slowly across the reservoir. Out the back Rock’s speedboat is tethered and towing the line. Billy is piloting when Mack approaches him.
MACKHey, Dad! The barbi is almost ready!
BILLYOK, Mate. Hey, check it out! The Wizz is now Skipper Wizz!
MACKYeah, Dad. Come and eat.
BILLYThat’s what I do best, Mate! OK, let’s park this beast. It handles like the truck!
Billy pulls back on the throttle as Mack heads up to the top deck.
BILLY (CONT'D)You know what, Mate?
MACK (V.O.)What’s that, Dad?
BILLYI should have also been skipper of the Swans as well!
21.
MACK (V.O.)OK, Dad!
Billy prepares to head up to the top deck.
BILLY(to himself)
Or at least the Brisbane Bears.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE TOP DECK OF THE HOUSEBOAT. AFTERNOON
Dazza, Rock and Kenworth are at the back of the top deck watching down at the water as Billy shuts off the engine.
DAZZAOK, guys! It looks like we’re parked. Let’s go! I will attempt the famed Facey with a full somersault and a half twist.
ROCKThat’s for beginners, Mate!
DAZZATurn it up!
Dazza climbs to the top of the railing and proceeds to do his miraculous bomb-dive off into the water. He emerges from the water as Rock and Kenworth look down on him.
DAZZA (CONT'D)How was that?!
ROCKNot bad, Mate! I’ll pay it. Here comes a Honey Pot from the heavens!
DAZZAThat’s going to hurt your butt, Mate.
ROCKTurn it up! I’ve got buns of steel!
DAZZATurn it up!
Dazza treads water as Rock climbs over the railing and does his less than impressive “Honey Pot” bomb-dive. Dazza and Kenworth both just smile and shake their heads as Rock emerges from under the water.
22.
DAZZA (CONT'D)So, how did you go?
ROCKYeah, Mate! That did hurt my butt.
DAZZAI told you, you boofhead!
Kenworth climbs the railing and prepares to do his bomb-dive.
KENWORTHThis one’s called a Horsey.
Kenworth proceeds to do his bomb-dive off the top deck and emerges from under the water.
DAZZAThat’s called an Ay-Ay, Mate! What’s with this Horsey rubbish?
KENWORTHThat’s what they call it up in New South Wales.
DAZZAA Horsey? Turn it up!
ROCKWhat a stupid name for a bomb! A Horsey!
KENWORTHIt’s no worse than an Ay-Ay.
DAZZA AND ROCKTurn it up!
ROCKThese New South Welshmen, making up their own names. What is this, Bush Week?!
KENWORTHI’m not a New South Welshman. I’m a Queenslander.
DAZZAThat’s even worse, Mate!
ROCKSo, you’re a Banana Bender, Kenny!
23.
KENWORTHTurn it up!
Rodney looks over the side from the top deck.
RODNEYHey, guys! We’re eating up here!
DAZZAComing!
ROCKGood! I’m fanging!
DAZZAMe too!
KENWORTHYou laugh at me! What’s fanging supposed to mean?!
DAZZAHungry, Mate! Obviously.
KENWORTHTurn it up!
DAZZA AND ROCKTurn it up!!!
Kenworth, Dazza and Rock all start to dog-paddle towards the back of the houseboat.
CUT TO:
LATER
EXT. THE TOP DECK OF THE HOUSEBOAT. SUNSET
Everyone is relaxing on the top deck in picnic chairs while drinking beer and talking about football, as usual.
RODNEYDoes anyone want to hear a joke?!
EVERYONEYeah!
MACKCool!
RODNEYOK, trendsetters! This is a true story!
24.
EVERYONETurn it up!
RODNEYAlright. So ...
Two minutes of Rodney’s not too rude jokes. Joke set to be worked on with Rodney.
FADE TO:
INT. BILLY’S HOUSE. MALDON. NIGHT
Mr. Grey puts the photo back down.
MR. GREYHe sounds like a funny guy, that Rodney.
MACKYeah, he is.
MR. GREY So, what about you, Mack? What do you want to be when you grow up?
MACKI don’t know.
MR. GREYWell, you’re already fourteen. You’d better start thinking about it.
MACKHow did you know that I’m fourteen?
MR. GREYYour friend Simon told me.
MACKCan you see Simon too?!
MR. GREYWe’ve met once, before.
MACK Simon’s cool! The White Knight himself.
MR. GREYYou know, there are many White Knights out there, Mack. But there’s only one Black one.
25.
MACKAnd he sucks!
MR. GREYHe’s not as bad as you think he is.
MACKHow old are you, Mr. Grey?
MR. GREY You don’t need to call me Mr. Grey. You can just call me Wodsey.
MACKWodsey? That’s a weird name.
MR. GREY It’s short for Wodsworth.
MACKThat’s freaky. My brother’s name was Kenworth, and your name is Wodsworth.
MR. GREY Yeah, I know. Strange things happen in this world, don’t they?
MACKHow do you know so much about everything?
MR. GREY Because I went to school.
MACKSchool’s just a waste of time.
MR. GREYOnly if you waste it.
Mr. Grey picks up another one of the framed photos.
MR. GREY (CONT'D)What was going on in this photo?
MACKJust another boring story.
MR. GREYWhat you find boring, I might find interesting. Like school.
26.
MACKOK. That photo was taken when we still lived on the Gold Coast. We used to go to the beach nearly every weekend. That was cool! I liked living there. My dad would take us shopping at Pacific Fair, and I’d always get a lime sundae. Then we’d go swimming at the beach.
FADE TO:
INT. BILLY’S LUXURY CAR. DAY
Billy, Kenworth and Mack are all in Billy’s nice expensive luxury car. They are driving towards the Carrara Football Ground on their way to Pacific Fair shopping centre.
MACKWhat beach are we going to today, Dad?
BILLYMate, the weather isn’t much chop today, so I thought we might head down to Twin Towns for a few hours.
KENWORTHDo we get to play golf?!
BILLYOf course, Mate! But don’t tell your mum. She hates me going down there.
MACKIs that because you always lose money?
BILLYI don’t always lose, Mate.
In the distance the Carrara football ground comes into sight.
BILLY (CONT'D)There’s your father’s old stomping ground, guys!
KENWORTHWe know, Dad. But it didn’t look like that when you played there.
27.
MACKWhat did it look like when you played there, Dad?
BILLYIt was just a paddock, Mate.
CUT TO:
EXT. CARRARA FOOTBALL GROUND. DAY
Billy’s car goes past the sports stadium and continues off towards Pacific Fair.
CUT TO:
EXT. GOLD COAST. DAY
Billy’s car makes its way through beautiful Burleigh Heads, with a pristine ocean in the background.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE BRIDGE BETWEEN COOLANGATTA AND TWEED HEADS. DAY
Billy’s luxury car comes over the bridge and makes its way from Queensland into New South Wales.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE ROAD UP TO THE TWIN TOWNS COUNTRY CLUB. NEW SOUTH WALES. DAY
Billy’s car is travelling the windy road that makes its way up a beautiful scenic mountain to the Twin Towns Country Club.
CUT TO:
EXT. TWIN TOWNS COUNTRY CLUB. DAY
Billy’s car makes its way through the entrance to the expansive complex. The car park is filled with the cars of the many people that have made the trip to play the slot machines, and also of the few that have come to play golf. Billy parks the car and they all begin to get out. As Billy is getting out he is spotted by a golfer who is wheeling his golf bag towards the golf course.
GOLFERMorning, Billy!
28.
BILLYMorning, Mate!
GOLFERIt’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?!
BILLYIt sure is, Mate! But it’s not a good beach day.
Billy looks at Mack who looks back with a suspicious glance. They all begin to walk towards the stairs that lead up to the golf course pro-shop.
BILLY (CONT'D)OK! Let’s get you guys some golf clubs! Do you want a golf cart today?
KENWORTHFor sure!
MACKCan I drive?!
KENWORTHNo chance, young Mack! No doubt you’ll be playing down the wrong fairway, as usual.
MACKWhatever. That’s my style. I take short-cuts.
Kenworth just smiles and shakes his head in disbelief.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE GOLF COURSE PRO-SHOP. DAY
Kenworth and Mack’s bags are in the back of a golf cart and they are almost ready to leave.
KENWORTHOK, Dad. We’re ready to head off!
BILLYOK. Just hold that thought while I get a picture.
KENWORTH I thought you didn’t want Mum to know?
29.
BILLYI’ll just keep it in the camera. I always like to get a pic when my two boys are off exploring together. It’s a memory and you can never have too many of those, can you, Mate?
KENWORTH I guess not.
Billy pulls out his camera as Kenworth and Mack stand next to the golf cart. Billy takes the photo and Kenworth and Mack prepare to leave.
BILLYSo, you guys know where to find me?
KENWORTH Yeah! At the poker machines!
BILLYOK, I’ll see you guys in a few hours then. Have fun!
KENWORTHThanks, Dad. You too.
MACKLet’s go, Kenny!
Kenworth puts his foot on the accelerator and the golf cart zooms off towards the golf course. Billy watches on and then turns and makes his way down the stairs towards the pokies entrance.
CUT TO:
EXT. GOLF COURSE, FIRST TEE. DAY
Kenworth has his ball ready to hit. He takes his time as he looks up the fairway. He makes a lovely swing and the ball goes flying straight up the fairway.
KENWORTHOK, you’re up!
Mack takes his club and ball to the tee. He puts his tee in the ground and then his ball on top of it. He takes his stance and prepares to smash it to pieces. He tries to smash it all the way to the green but instead just hits a mighty hook that goes swinging onto the next fairway and out of sight.
30.
KENWORTH (CONT'D)Wow! I didn’t think a ball could possibly turn at right angles.You know, you don’t need to hit it so hard. You should slow down your swing.
MACKThat’s what I do! I’m a power player.
KENWORTHYou’re a lethal weapon, that’s what you are. Nobody’s safe on any fairway with you around.
Mack goes back to the golf cart and puts his driver away and takes out two clubs, both irons.
MACKI’ll take my five, and I’d better take my nine iron in case it’s in the rough.
KENWORTHGood luck! I’ll see you up on the green.
Mack runs off to find his ball as Kenworth gets in the driver’s seat of the golf cart.
MACK I’m going to play up that fairway! I’ll meet you on the green!
KENWORTHOK.
Kenworth starts driving the cart up the fairway as Mack scampers off to the next fairway over.
MOMENTS LATER
Kenworth is lining up for his shot at the green. It’s a lovely smooth shot that lands in the middle of the green. As he admires his shot he hears Mack yelling from the distance somewhere, out of sight.
MACK (V.O.)Hey, Kenny! I can’t find my ball!
Kenworth just shakes his head and then makes his way back to the cart to go and help Mack look for his ball.
31.
LATER
It’s a different hole and Kenworth has just played another beautiful shot onto the green. As he marvels at his golfing prowess he is approached by Mack.
MACK Kenny! I’m out of balls! Can you lend me some of yours?
KENWORTHFar-out, Mack! I’ve only got three myself.
MACKThat’s OK. I only need one.
Kenworth goes and grabs a ball from his bag and throws it to Mack.
MACK (CONT'D)Thanks! I’m going to wait until the next hole. Can I have a drive?
Kenworth looks around to see if anyone’s watching.
KENWORTHYeah, OK.
Mack jumps in the driver’s seat of the golf cart as Kenworth gets in the passenger’s side. The cart takes off towards the green.
LATER
Kenworth smashes another beautiful drive down the center of the fairway. He pulls out his tee as Mack approaches the green and prepares for his drive. Mack smashes it and this time it goes swinging off in the other direction and into the rough.
KENWORTHYou can do it both ways! It’s incredible.
MACK Yeah, that’s it for me! I’ve had enough.
KENWORTHHere, I’ll lend you another ball!
32.
MACKNah, I’ve had enough anyhow. I’m heading back for a swim.
KENWORTHOK, I’ll see you back there.
MACKCan you drop my clubs in?
KENWORTHYep.
Mack heads off back towards the country club as Kenworth takes off up the fairway in the golf cart.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE TWIN TOWNS POOL. TWEED HEADS. DAY
Mack enters the empty pool area. He strips off his T-shirt and scampers towards the diving-board. He comes running along the board and bounces off the end, doing a somersault before crashing into the water. He comes up out of the water with a huge smile on his face. Life is good.
CUT TO:
EXT. BILLY’S FORMER HOUSE. THE GOLD COAST. DAY
Billy’s luxury car comes pulling into the driveway of a nice, opulent house. Billy, Kenworth and Mack all proceed to get out. Kenworth and Mack are both carrying their beach towels around their necks and still have damp hair. They all make their way towards the front door. Billy opens it and enters, followed by Kenworth and Mack.
BILLY (V.O.)Babe! We’re home!
INT. BILLY’S FORMER HOUSE. KITCHEN. DAY
Mack makes his way straight to the freezer and gets out a Super-Dooper icy-pole.
MACKDo you want a Super-Dooper, Kenny?
KENWORTHYeah, OK!
MACKWhat flavour?
33.
KENWORTHAny. I don’t care.
Mack turns around with the Super-Doopers in his hand to see Billy with a concerned look on his face. Billy is reading a letter that was left on the kitchen counter.
MACK Where’s Mum?
Billy continues to read the letter.
MACK (CONT'D)Dad! I said, where’s Mum?
BILLYIt looks like she’s gone, Mate.
MACKWhere did she go?
BILLYI don’t know, Mate. She’s left us.
MACKWhat do you mean, she’s left us?
KENWORTHHe means she’s gone, Mack. She’s not coming back.
MACKFor real? Why?
Tears well up in Mack’s eyes and he runs off to his bedroom leaving the Super-Doopers on the kitchen counter. Kenworth goes over to see Billy. He puts his hand on Billy’s shoulder to console him.
KENWORTHAre you okay, Dad?
Billy continues to read the letter.
BILLYNah, Mate. I’m not doing so good.
FADE TO:
INT. BILLY’S HOUSE. MALDON. NIGHT
Mr. Grey puts the photo back down.
34.
MR. GREY I see. You must feel very lonely, Mack.
MACKYeah, sometimes. I’m sick of always being the new kid, I know that much. But at least I’ve still got my dad. And now I’ve got you, right next door!
MR. GREYI’m afraid that I won’t be around here for much longer either. But I’m not scared of Death.
MACK Nah, you’ll be around forever, Wodsey. And I’m not scared of Death either. If he was here right now I’d punch him in the face!
MR. GREYI’m sure you would too, Mack.
MR. GREY (CONT’D)Did you know that it was only two hundred years ago that the average lifespan of a human was thirty five years?
MACKReally?
MR. GREYYep. And the average height of a man was only five foot, three inches.
MACKReally? I’m taller than that now!
MR. GREYI know, but it’s true! Go down to Melbourne and see Captain Cook’s cottage. It’s tiny.
MACK Cool!
MR. GREYAnd a butterfly lives barely a month, doesn’t it? Yet it’s so beautiful that you want it to last forever. Life’s a gift, Mack.
35.
(MORE)
Not a luxury to be squandered, or wasted watching Jerry Springer.
MACK I don’t watch Jerry Springer anymore. I’ve gone back to school.
MR. GREYI’m happy to hear that.
The sound of Billy’s Sandman panel van can be heard parking in the drive and Mack quickly gets up to check.
MACKThat sounds like my dad!
Mack goes to the front door and opens it.
CUT TO:
EXT. BILLY’S HOUSE. NIGHT
Mack opens the door and peers out. He sees Billy exiting the panel van.
BILLYHey, Mate! I’m back! I brought some fish and chips for you and Mr. Grey.
MACKCool!
Mack re-enters the house.
INT. BILLY’S HOUSE. NIGHT
MACKHey, Wodsey! My dad’s home and he’s got some fish and chips for us! Are you to eat with us?
MR. GREYNo, not tonight, Mack. I’d better get going home. I’ve got places to be, and people to visit. But it was good to chat with you. I really enjoyed it.
MACKSo, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?
MR. GREYWe’ll see, Mack. You just never know where I’m going to pop up.
36.
MR. GREY (CONT'D)
MACKHopefully tomorrow!
MR. GREYYou be good to yourself, now. And enjoy your fish and chips.
FADE TO:
THE NEXT DAY
INT. BILLY’S HOUSE. MALDON. DAY
Mack comes through the lounge room as Billy sits watching the match day panel discussing the days AFL football game.
BILLYHey, Mate. Where are you going?! The game’s about to start!
MACKI’m going next door to see Wodsey.
BILLYWho’s Wodsey?
MACKMr. Grey! Next door!
BILLYOK, Mate. Tell him thanks again for taking care of you for me.
MACKOK.
BILLYDid you want to take the Sandman for a spin down to Melbourne tomorrow? We can go watch the Demons play the Saints.
MACK Cool! Can Wodsey come with us?!
BILLYYeah, Mate, if he wants to. Wodsey? That’s a weird name.
MACKIt’s short for Wodsworth.
BILLYWow, now that’s spooky.
37.
MACKYeah, I know. I’m going to ask him now. He rocks! He’s super smart! He knows everything!
BILLY Well, ask him who’s going to win the game! I’ll put a few bucks on it.
MACKOK!
Mack exits out the door as Billy continues to watch the TV.
CUT TO:
EXT. BILLY’S HOUSE. MALDON. DAY
Mack exits the house and heads next door to Mr. Grey’s house. Immediately he sees that Mr. Grey’s black Holden hearse is gone. He goes to the front door and knocks. He waits, but there is no reply. He knocks again and waits. He goes to the front window and looks inside and sees that the house is vacant. There is no trace of Mr. Grey anywhere. A neighbour(man, 37) from the house on the other side comes out and sees Mack looking through the window.
NEIGHBOURHey, Mack! What are you up to, Mate?
MACKI’m looking for Wodsey! All his stuff is gone!
NEIGHBOURYou mean, Mr. Grey? Yeah, Mate. He moved out this morning.
MACKWhere did he go?
NEIGHBOURDon’t know, Mate. He was a weird one, wasn’t he?
MACKI didn’t think so.
NEIGHBOURWell, sorry, Mate. I’ve got to get to the bakery before the game starts. I’ll see you later.
38.
MACKOK, see you.
Billy emerges from the front door of his house.
BILLYCan you grab us a couple of pies, Mate?! I’ll fix you up when you get back!
NEIGHBOUROK, Mate.
Mack looks one last time inside the vacant house and then makes his way back towards his own house as their neighbour gets into his Holden and starts the engine.
CUT TO:
EXT. OPEN CAR PARK. NEAR THE MCG. MELBOURNE. DAY
Billy’s Sandman panel van comes into the car park and parks. Mack and Billy both exit. Billy has a Sydney Swans scarf around his next and Mack has a Saints scarf around his. Throughout the car park a few other football spectators are also making their way towards the MCG.
BILLYShall we cut through the park, Mate? Did you know that they’ve got Captain Cook’s cottage in there?
MACKCool! Can we go and see it?!
CUT TO:
EXT. FITZROY GARDENS. CAPTAIN COOK’S COTTAGE. DAY
Mack and Billy approach Captain Cook’s tiny cottage in the middle of the park.
BILLYCheck it out, Mate! There it is! Captain Cook’s cottage. It’s tiny, isn’t it?!
MACKThat’s because two hundred years ago the average height of a man was only five foot three.
39.
BILLYReally?! They would have made good step ladders for The Wizz.
MACKYeah, but they also only lived until they were thirty five.
BILLYReally? Half of our footy team is older than that.
MACKI know, including you.
BILLYThat’s something you don’t see everyday. The actual house where Captain Cook lived.
MACKWhy do people care so much about houses, Dad? You can’t take them with you.
BILLYI don’t know, Mate. I guess it’s just human nature.
MACKHuman nature just makes no sense to me.
BILLYI know it doesn’t, Mate. Don’t think about it. Come on! Let’s go get a good seat. I’ll buy you some hot chips.
MACKCool!
Billy and Mack head off in the same direction as the other footy fans that are heading through the park towards the MCG.
BILLY So, who do you think’s going to win, Mate? The Demons or the Saints?
MACKI want the Saints to win, of course! But I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be the Demons.
40.
BILLYYeah, the Demon’s are due for a win, aren’t they?
MACKNo! It’s time for the Saints to finally win.
BILLYIt’s too bad the Swannies aren’t playing! But that’s fate, ain’t it, Mate.
MACKApparently so.
CUT TO:
EXT. FITZROY GARDENS EXIT OVERLOOKING THE MCG. DAY
Billy and Mack walk through the exit of the park and see the massive MCG stadium ahead of them.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE CAR PARK WHERE BILLY’S SANDMAN IS PARKED. DAY
Billy’s Sandman panel van is parked with all the other cars. Next to it is what appears to be Mr. Grey’s black Holden hearse. An ominous looking man’s shadow is cast over the Sandman. Could it be Mr. Grey?
EXT. OUTSIDE THE MCG STADIUM. MELBOURNE. DAY
The Melbourne “Demons” and St. Kilda “Saints” supporters are streaming into the stadium, adorned in their team colours. Billy is the only one wearing a Sydney Swans scarf, even though they aren’t playing. Mr. Grey appears in the shot as he watches Billy leading Mack towards the stadium. He stands there watching intently as Billy and Mack both appear to actually be enjoying themselves, despite the lives of pain that they have both been living.
CUT TO:
EXT. INSIDE THE MCG STADIUM. DAY
Inside, the stadium is filled with excited supporters eagerly waiting for their teams to appear. Two massive banners made from paper crepe have been erected out on the playing surface, waiting for their respective teams to crash through them.
41.
The teams emerge from the players entrance and make their way out onto the playing surface where they gather behind their team banners, before crashing though them.
CUT TO:
EXT. INSIDE THE MCG STADIUM. DAY
Billy smiles at Mack as Mack eats a meat pie and waits for the game to begin. Thank goodness Mack has Billy to take care of him. All is well in the universe again.
MOMENTS LATER
The siren sounds and the two opposing teams begin play for what is surely going to be the Footy battle of the century.
ROLL END TITLES
CUT TO:
EXT. THE CEMETERY WHERE KENWORTH’S GRAVE IS. AFTERNOON
At the cemetery Mr. Grey stands looking at Kenworth’s grave.
EXT. MR. GREY’S BLACK HOLDEN HEARSE. AFTERNOON
Mr. Grey gets into his Holden and starts the engine. He reverses back and then drives off up the road.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE SITE WHERE KENWORTH DIED. AFTERNOON
Mr. Grey’s black Holden hearse goes slowly past the temporary shrine at the tree where Kenworth died. Mr. Grey flattens the accelerator to the floor and the hearse goes roaring off into the distance, vanishing into thin air.
THE END OF HOLDEN TOWN “ENTER SANDMAN”
Dedicated to the memory of Clive Jacka. He is sorely missed.
42.