house m.d. quotes

7/31/2019 House M.D. Quotes

1/6

S02E15 CluelessMarriages don't fail because couples get bored, they failbecause..while they're dating, people pretend to be the person theythink their partner wants, and then...well, there's only so long you can

keep that up.

S03E06 Que Ser, SerThe next thing I know is that Im sharing a cage with a guy whothinks that shower its the way the devil gets inside people.

Like Cuddy would ever want a kid or a kid would ever want Cuddy..

-What did he said? (the lawyer) -That a smile like mine cant lose! (talking to Cameron)

S03E12 One day, one roomThis is what life is. Its a series of rooms and who we get stuck inthose rooms with its up to what our lifes are.

-Time changes everything. -Thats what people say. Its not true. Doing things, changes things.Not doing things, leaves things exactly where they were .

S03E14 InsensitivePeople who avoid commitment are people who know what a bigthing it is. (Foreman)

S03E15 Half-WitI dont want you to die without knowing the feeling. Actually, nowoman should die without knowing the feeling. (after he kissedCameron)

One small feel for a man, one giant ass for mankind. (about

Cuddys ass)

S03E16 Top SecretJohn, John, were gonna figure out whats wrong about you! But,first, we need to know one thing: have you ever appeared in any

pornos? (a dying pacient)

S03E23 The JerkHold on. Im having a moment. This..this could be Foremans last time mistakenly suggesting adrenal gland tumor.


2/6

S03E24 Human Error -I need to look at the heart.

-Why?-I cant find my wallet.

How come God gets credit whenever something good happens?

S04E01 AloneIm thinking the broken bones are a reponse for the building fallingin her head up.

Imagine that the roof of the storage closet collapses on your favourite floor buffer which then starts overheating..

-Parasites or fungus, is possible.. - Or maybe Lupus.-???-My grandma has Lupus. (talking to the janitor)

-If youre broke, Ill lend you a tiny bit of the money I owe you..-No, no, I wouldnt put you in that position! (talking to Wilson)

-Did you find drugs in their home? -Shes probably hiding them in her purse. I thought itd be rude togo searching under a 1000 tones of rubble.

-Where did you come from?-Apes, if you believe democrats. (talking to Cuddy)

S04E04 Guardian AngelsIdiot, from the old French idiote, meaning effeminate, mentally deficient Mor .

-You have o-meal on your pants.-Do you have a camera in here?-No. I was guessing. He had o-meal on his pants yesterday and the

day before.

-What the hell?-What is it?-Ankles. They buried the guy the wrong way around. (at the

cemetery)

-The doctors lounge is covered in mud. -Thirteen and cutthroat bitch had a disagreement and cafeteria was

out of gello .


3/6

-There were pick-axes. Either you had them dig up a body, or yourebuilding a railroad. (talking to Cuddy about the cemetery incident)

Start with amyloidosis and keep going till you reach..zamyloidosis!

Big Love, have I humiliated you in the last half of hour?

-You agreed with everything he said, you finished each othersentences..

-Thats why I gotta go you dont need someone to tell you whatyoure already thinking. -Funny, I was gonna say that . (Henrys leaving)

S04E05 Mirror, mirror -Hi. Cuddy called. She needs you to iron her shirts.

S04E08 You Dont Want To KnowI finally have a case of Lupus!

S04E09 GamesTheres always a reason.

S04E12 Dont Ever ChangeTaub gave up the 6-figure plastics surgery career for this job, thatmeans he has porphyria? (Kutner)

The more you know someone, the more you should love them.

-They have something we dont have! -Imaginary friends! (talking to Taub about Jewish people)

-Shes a needy version of me!-Hard to imagine such a mythical creature! (talking to Wilson

about Amber)

You can have your eyes open on something and not act on it.(Kutner)

Words are permanent. Someday, youll say something that you wishyou could take back.

-I need you to sleep with Wilson!-Good morning..()-I get that sleep with is your way of saying I should talk to him?

-No, I really mean sleep with. (talking to Cuddy about Wilsonsrelationship)


4/6

-The bodys doing the opposite of what its supposed to. Her bodysWilson. How do we respond to that?

-We accept that hes happy!

Things arent where we wanted to be just because we wanted to bethere. Of course, that doesnt mean theyrent where they shouldbe.

S04E13 No More Mr. Nice Guy -Hes just.. -..happy. I gotta stop this before it spreads.

I like Cuddy. Parts of her.

Hospital will probably build you a statue one day. You know, withthe kick me side on the back.

Because, underneath that all, we are all the same.

S04E14 Living the DreamIts sweet that I didnt lost my ability to surprise you!

51 weeks at a year I let you run around like a monkey in a bananafactory. (Cuddy)

-Im Dr. Jamie Conway. Ive heard your name. -Most people have. Its also a noun.

Im ignoring you because you make me sad.

S04E15 Houses HeadDont blame me, blame my gender.

-Did you take my cellphone? -My large colon did. Im negotiating its release.

S05E01 Dying Changes Everything -Why are you leaving?

-I just need a change of scenery.. -Buy a plant! 8-) (talking to Taub and Wilson about Wilsonsresignation)

-See? The two of you are friends! Look at you both.. -..thinking youre an idiot! We both also eat with forks.


5/6

We can aspire to anything, but we dont get it just because we wantit. I would rather spend my life close to the birds than waste it wishingI had wings.

Almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything.

S05E02 Not CancerHallucinations. Thats a brain thing, right?

-Does that PI guy mean we dont have to break into peoples homesanymore? -Thats the whole reason you went into medical school. Im not gonna take that away from you! (talking to Kutner)

I need an epiphany. What do you billing out it ? 300$ an hour?

S05E03 Adverse Events -What do you think youre gonna find about her?

-Something..personal. Something embarrassing. I spent half of my life negotiating with that woman. Anything that I can use to scare her into saying yes.

My ringtone for you (Wilson) is Dancing Queen by ABBA.

-Amber gave me that key chain. -No, she didnt. Unless your pet name for her was Volvo.

S05E06 JoySorry. Your daddys perfectly healthy, but we want you to give him akidney anyway cause itd be cool if he had three.

-I need a genetic disease..-Im sure youre carrying a few!

S05E07 The ItchForeman, listen to that little voice in your head thats coming fromthe phone!

Hey, Cameron, would you like your old job back? Im asking causeis the only way I can fire you!

S05E08 EmancipationHolding things in could give you cancer!


6/6

Thats the great thing about brothers, you can make mistakes buttheyll still love you. (Foreman)

S05E10 Let Them Eat Cake -I smashed it with a sledgehammer .(Cuddys old WC) -I think in some ancient cultures that was actually considered aproposal of marriage! (talking to Wilson)

S05E15 UnfaithfulWhy do I bother with these great metaphors if I still have to spell it out?

Im solving puzzles. Saving lives is collateral damage.

Conflict breeds creativity.

Religion is not the opioide of the masses. Religion is the placebo of the masses.

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