How A Parent Can Change The World – One Mind At A Time

Background

• Welcome• My background: I am a Mom of two children,

both were adopted. Also a journalist and cofounder of two advocacy organizations.

• The London Coalition of Adoptive Families• Formed in 2005 to challenge sections of Bill 183• Last year we expanded to Canadian Coalition• What we learned along the way...

WIN BUILD

BUILD

BUILD

BUILD

Personal advocacy

• School boards• Teachers, principals• Even advocating for a service or supports in

school

• Ideas. Like changing family tree assignments.• Advocating for a specific teacher.

Personal advocacy ideas

• Personal letters and phone calls.• The ALL About Me Book • Even at start of school year just a small note

to the teacher introducing your child.• It’s not about labelling.

Every child needs a champion

The All About Me Books:Ainsley Schuck

The All About Me Books• BACKGROUND:

I am a bright, beautiful, talkative, athletic four-year-old girl. And I am a ball of energy. I go through life full tilt and love to dive right in to all kinds of activities - the messier the better. I live with my mom, dad and sister, Payton, 7. I have sensory processing disorder, an invisible neurological disability. My pediatrician described it to my Mommy like this: “her brain is like a giant microphone.” I have also recently been diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder.)

• Ainsley can be the sweetest girl around, but she has a lot of trouble regulating, transitioning and shutting off. This is not her fault. Nor is it intentional.

The All About Me Books• I am extremely touch sensitive. If another child I

do not know comes up to me and gives me a hug sometimes this alone is way too much for me. If I am squeezed in line too close to others sometimes this will send me over the edge.

• I like to be at the start or end of the line. Light touch is almost painful for me. I seek out deep pressure and pushing and pulling movements. You may notice that I wear cotton only. All other fabrics make me itch. I will scratch until I bleed if I am wearing polyester.

All About MeTOOLS: 1. My sunglasses - I cannot leave the house without them. My eyes are too sensitive to the sun. Bright light hurts.2. Therapy dog and blanket - weighted occupational therapy tools I carry often when in public.3. Surgical scrub brushes - for brushing and joint compressions to calm me down.

MELTDOWNS:When Ainsley has a true meltdown it is often because she is completely overloaded. This is not her fault. Sometimes her behaviour looks like a big tantrum. It’s not. It is because the noise of the toilet, coupled with the sound of kids laughing or the bright sunlight causes her physical pain.

My Mommy and Daddy often have to shut a lot of external stimulation off for me, as I have not learned to do this yet myself.

All About Me Books• Some things that work are: puzzles in a quiet corner, deep relaxing

breaths, swinging, brushing, the Volcano song(as part of my occupational therapy), and making monster faces. I need a lot of warnings before a change ( as in if we are playing outside at preschool and it’s time to come in, please take extra time to say: “Ainsley in five minutes we are going inside.” Then if you can come again at two minutes before time to go, that is a great help to me. Transitions can be very painful and some days I just need you to say, It’s okay Ainsley I will help you. Remember this is not my fault. My brain is wired differently than most kids.

• Tip offs: (that I am about to melt down.)• If I walk into a room with my hands clenched.• If I walk into a room and knock all the chairs over.• If I run in circles.• If I start screaming and won’t stop.• If I am too close to other kids (please put me at the front or end of a line, not middle)• If the room suddenly gets too busy (pickup time after school.)

All About Me Books• Also: please understand I want to play and be part of everything else the

other kids are doing, but sometimes I need a lot of help. I am a runner and my impulse control is very poor, so when I am overwhelmed I will run for the door and try to leave. I need help staying safe. At home I often race out the door. I run in front of cars and etc…My parents know I cannot be left unsupervised even for one second and some days are better than others. I am not trying to be a bad kid, I simply am overwhelmed and I need help staying safe. At home my parents have triple locked some doors because I run away when the noise is too loud or when I am stressed. This is very typical for someone with my diagnoses. I am slowly learning to be able to hold hands. I make poor choices all day when I am over stimulated, but my words are very good if you ask me what’s wrong sometimes I can tell you: “Too bright!” “Too loud!”

All About Me Books

• MEDICAL:• I don’t tolerate dairy well, so my parents give me goat’s milk or soy products at home.• As part of my occupational therapy, I need to be brushed and I have joint compressions every

90 minutes. • No medication as yet for the ADHD.

• Other TIPS:•

My Mom and Dad have figured out, with my teachers, that sometimes my day needs to be amended so that I get picked up five minutes before everyone else or five minutes after everyone else. The noise or sudden rush of all the children’s parents coming into my classroom at once often hurts my ears and my head. If you see me start to run off when this happens I need to be held and reminded that I am safe. Mommy often reminds me “Ainsley, it’s okay you are safe.” I love to help, especially with heavy lifting. I am a super athlete. I love swimming and soccer.`

• Thanks for your patience. When I do finally adjust to a new setting, I can be a very productive, active, bright helper.

Privacy vs. labelling

• For adopted children and foster children there are numerous differences – even the simplest most straightforward of situations carry lifelong grief and loss issues.

• Our kids need more : supervision sometimes.• Accommodations .• Understanding and sensitivity.• You, the adoptive parent need to be conscious

of this and know the triggers.

Privacy vs. labelling• Communicate those triggers to your child’s

school/teacher.• Suitcases, holidays, substitute teachers.• Differences, discussion of differences, open

spaces, playgrounds, recess, maybe a child who looks like a child they knew in a previous foster home, when friends move.

• A lot of people will argue I don’t want my child labelled.