how husbands cope it’s a “guy thing” bobbit suntay the carewell community the cancer resource...
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How Husbands CopeIt’s a “guy thing”
Bobbit SuntayThe Carewell Community
The Cancer Resource and Wellness Community
How husbands copeHow husbands cope“I did it, myyyyyy wayyyy…”“I did it, myyyyyy wayyyy…”
Personal and unique
No “best way”
No “rulebook or manual”
No “roadmap or guide”
Different strokes for different folks
Don’t be a Hero!Don’t be a Hero!
You can’t do it all alone
Ask for help/Seek out help
Counseling/Support Group
Relief from school/work
Reach out to family and friends
Communicate…Communicate…
Constantly Clearly Accurately Honestly Compassionately …with the person ill with
cancer …with loved ones and friends
Your “new normal”Your “new normal”Explore itEstablish itLive itDo your best……believe you are doing your best
Care for yourselfCare for yourself
“Put your oxygen mask and life vest on before assisting others”
Getting sick and/or burnt out makes things harder
You need to be at your best (or as close to it) in order to care well
Let go and let GodLet go and let God
Be in “the now” – don’t look back and regret, don’t worry too far ahead.
Name your fears and face them
ForgiveSee God’s hand at workTrust that your own way of coping will see you through
Don’t rush to be “OK”Don’t rush to be “OK”
Let things run their course “Grace abounds the long way
around” “Don’t rush to solve the problem;
allow the problem to solve you” There are no schedules and
timetables Trust the process Don’t allow “adaptive” coping to
become “maladaptive”
Coping through CaringCoping through Caring
Making meaning Bringing healing Coping through Carewell
TheThe CarewellCarewell CommunityCommunity
TheThe CaCancerncer ReResourcesource andand WellWellnessness
CommunityCommunity
Opened our doors in 2006
We provide psycho-social support
Dedicated to all persons affected by cancer
Resources and services provided free of charge
Volunteer-driven
Rely on contributions and collaboration
The Wellness Community and Gilda’s Club Worldwide (The Cancer Support Community)
TheThe CarewellCarewell CommunityCommunity
TheThe CaCancerncer ReResourcesource andand WellWellnessness
CommunityCommunity
Support Groups and Counseling Medical Consultations and
Referrals Library and Resource Center Wellness and Fun Activities Respite Weekends and Field
Trips Talks and Workshops Community of persons with
cancer and their loved ones
TheThe CarewellCarewell CommunityCommunity
TheThe CaCancerncer ReResourcesource andand WellWellnessness
CommunityCommunity
www.carewellcommunity.org [email protected] 751-0242 815-1294 6th floor of S & L Building Dela Rosa corner Esteban
Streets Legaspi Village, Makati City
TheThe CarewellCarewell CommunityCommunity
TheThe CaCancerncer ReResourcesource andand WellWellnessness
CommunityCommunity
Cure Magazine 2011 Cancer Resource Guide
Caregiving for your loved one with cancer, CancerCare, 2005
The Total Cancer Wellness Guide, Kim Thiboldeaux, 2007
Cancer, Coping, Carewell, Robert Suntay, 2010
Cancer care for the whole patient, National Academy of Sciences, 2008