how quotes get misquoted

7/29/2019 how quotes get misquoted

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List of misquotations

From Wikiquote

This page consists of things that many people think are correct quotations but are actually

incorrect. This does not include quotations that were actually blunders by the people that

said them.

See also: Quotations on misquotation.

Contents

1 Misattributed

2 Unsourced, unverified, or other best guesses 3 Commonly misquoted

3.1 People

4 Further reading

Misattributed

"If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples

then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I

have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have twoideas."

George Bernard Shaw[citation needed]

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.", Dorothy Gale in The Wizard

of Oz (played by Judy Garland)

This phrase was never uttered by the character. What she really said was

Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.

"Oooh, Betty", Frank Spencer in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em (played byMichael Crawford)

Page 1 of 22List of misquotations - Wikiquote

06-Mar-13https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/List_of_misquotations


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He only said the line in one episode of the entire series. Most of the time, hewould let out a quavering "Oooh!"

"Not a lot of people know that.", Michael Caine, British actor.

Peter Sellers said this whilst doing an impression of Michael Caine and hehas become associated with the quote despite having not said it in the first

place. http://www.metro.co.uk/film/858942-michael-caine-i-never-said-not-a-lot-of-people-know-that

Nice guys finish last. Leo Durocher (19061991), US baseball manager.

As reported in the biography,Nice Guys Finish Last, (by Leo Durocher,with Ed Linn, Simon & Schuster, 1975), Durochers remark was his reply to

being asked his opinion of the 1946 New York Giants. He actually saidTake a look at them. All nice guys. Theyll finish last. Nice guys finishlast. Elision of the subordinate conjunction in the final sentence turned an

evaluation into a declaration that nice people are doomed to failure.

The two most common elements in the Universe are Hydrogen andStupidity. Harlan Ellison (born May 27, 1934), US author.

Although stated by Ellison in a non-fiction essay in the mid-1960s, thisquote has been frequently misattributed to Frank Zappa. In Zappa's

autobiography, The Real Frank Zappa Book(1989), on page 239, Zappa

does make a similar comment: "Some scientists claim that hydrogen,

because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I

dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the

basic building block of the universe."

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right tosay it" Voltaire

Thought to be words of Voltaire, it was actually written by Evelyn Beatrice

Hall.

"If I can't dance I don't want to be in (/a part of) your revolution." (also: "If I

can't dance to it, it's not my revolution")

Widely attributed to Emma Goldman but, according to Goldman scholar

Alix Kates Shulman, instead the invention of anarchist printer Jack Fragerfor a small batch of Goldman T-shirts he printed in 1973. In her memoirs,

Goldman does remember being censured for dancing and states:

"I insisted that our Cause could not expect me to become a nun andthat the movement should not be turned into a cloister. If it meant that,

I did not want it. 'I want freedom, the right to self-expression,

everybody's right to beautiful, radiant things.'" Living My Life (New

York: Knopf, 1934), p. 56




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See Shulman, Alix Kates 'Dances With Feminists(http://sunsite.berkeley.edu/Goldman/Features/dances_shulman.html) ,

Women's Review of Books, Vol. IX, no. 3, December 1991.

"Just the facts, ma'am."

This, the best known quote from the Jack Webb seriesDragnet, was never

said by Sgt. Friday in any of the Dragnet radio or television series. Thequote was, however, adopted in the 1987 Dragnet pseudo-parody film

starring Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks in which Aykroyd played Sgt. Joe

Friday.

Correct versions:

"All we want are the facts, ma'am.""All we know are the facts, ma'am."

Mikkelson, Barbara and David P. (29 March 2002). Just the Facts(http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/dragnet.htm) . Urban Legends.

snopes.com. Retrieved on 2006-12-18.

We trained hard . . . but it seemed that every time we were beginning toform up into teams we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that

we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful methodit can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion,

inefficiency, and demoralization. Usually misattributed to Petronius Arbiter

Actually by Charlton Ogburn (19111998) from "Merrill's Marauders: Thetruth about an incredible

adventure" (http://www.harpers.org/archive/1957/01/0007289) in the

January 1957 issue ofHarper's Magazine Actual quote: "We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were

beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganized. Presumably theplans for our employment were being changed. I was to learn later in life

that, perhaps because we are so good at organizing, we tend as a nation tomeet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be

for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiencyand demoralization."

see Brown, David S. "Petronius or Ogburn?", Public Administration

Review, Vol. 38, No. 3 (May June, 1978), p. 296 [1]

(http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0033-3352(197805%2F06)38%3A3%3C296%3APOO%3E2.0.CO%3B2-Z)

"Elementary, my dear Watson" Sherlock Holmes




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This phrase was never uttered by the character in any of Sir Arthur ConanDoyle's written works. Though "Elementary," and "...my dear Watson."

both do appear near the beginning ofThe Crooked Man (1893), it is the"...my dear Watson" that appears first, and "Elementary" is the succinctreply to Watson's exclamation a few lines of dialogue later. This is the

closest these four immortal words ever appear together in the canon.

The first documented occurrence of this quote appears in the P. G.

Wodehouse novel, "Psmith,

Journalist" (http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/2607) , which was serialized

in The Captain magazine (1909-10) then published in book form (1915) andcontains the following dialog:

"That's right," said Billy Windsor. "Of course."

"Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary," murmured Psmith.

The end justifies the means. Often misattributed to Machiavelli's The Prince, in which the idea appears

but not the phrase itself, and to many other writers who repeat this aphorismwhich is at least as old as Ovid,Heroides (c. 10 BC):Exitus acta probat.

See also: Means and ends.

"There's a sucker born every minute."

While this is often attributed to P.T. Barnum, it seems to have been said by

one of his competitors, commenting on one of Barnum's exhibits.

See: There's a sucker born every minute

On the whole, I would rather be in Philadelphia.

Misattributed to W.C. Fields Actual quote: "Here Lies W.C. Fields: I would rather be living in

Philadelphia." Presented as one of "A group of artists [writing] their own

epitaphs" in a 1925 issue ofVanity Fair which may or may not have

been written by the figures whose names appear with the epitaphs.

see Amory, Cleveland, and Bradlee, Frederic, Vanity Fair: Selections from

America's Most Memorable Magazine, a Cavlcade of the 1920s and 1930s,Viking Press, 1960, page 103.

"I invented the internet."

Misattributed to Al Gore.

In fact Al Gore did not claim to have "invented" the internet. This adistortion of statements in which Gore claims credit for his role within

Congress in funding the internet's development. While popularized by

Gore's political opponents as a quote from Gore, the initial use of the word

"invented" in this context was by Wired News author Declan McCullagh,




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who in turn was paraphrasing House Majority Leader Armey's criticism ofGore's claims. The correct Gore quote from CNN'sLate Edition: "During

my service in the United States Congress,I took the initiative in creating the

Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiativesthat have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and

environmental protection, improvements in our educational system."

Finkelstein, Seth (28 April 2006). Al Gore "invented the Internet"

resources (http://sethf.com/gore/) . sethf.com. Retrieved on 2011-6-16.

"Theirs but to do or die!" This is a misstatement of a line from Tennysons The Charge Of The Light

Brigade, which actually says Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to doanddie.

See http://wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Charge_of_the_Light_Brigade_(poem)

"Far from the maddening crowd" This is a misstatement of a line from Thomas Grays poem Elegy Written

in a Country Churchyard (1751): "Far from the madding crowd's ignoblestrife, Their sober wishes never learn'd to stray." The line was later used by

Thomas Hardy as the title of his novel Far From The Madding Crowd.

See http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/134150.html

"With great power comes great responsibility."

This is often erroneously assumed to be the quote of Ben Parker dating back

to the original Spider-Man origin story as depicted in 1962'sAmazing

Fantasy #15. This statement appears as a caption of narration in the lastpanel of the story and wasn't a spoken line by any characters in the story. In

most retellings of Spider-Man's origin, including the 2002 film, the quote

has been retconned to depict Uncle Ben's final lecture to Peter Parker priorto Ben's tragic death, and as the words which continue to drive Peter as

Spider-Man.

"It's life, Jim, but not as we know it."

Attributed to Leonard McCoy from the run ofStar Trek: The OriginalSeries, but the phrase was never uttered. The similar phrase "no life as weknow it" is spoken by Spock in the season one episode "The Devil in the

Dark." The spurious phrase originated in the 1987 novelty song "StarTrekkin'."

See: The Oxford Dictionary of Modern Quotations, 2007 edition (Oxford

University Press), entry by Elizabeth Knowles; ISBN 978-0-19-920895-1

"Well behaved women rarely make history."




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Often attributed to actress Marilyn Monroe, the quote was actually writtenby Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, a professor at Harvard University.

See: http://www.immortalmarilyn.com/MarijanestakeonMM.html

"Well, that escalated quickly."

Risen to popularity as an overnight Internet meme, this now-common

phrase is almost always incorrect on the memes themselves. The correctquote is "Boy, that escalated quickly".

Was said by Ron Burgundy following a fight with local anchormen.

See:

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Anchorman:_The_Legend_of_Ron_Burgundy

Unsourced, unverified, or other best guesses

These may not necessarily be misquotations, but catchphrases from popularculture, whose formation required slight alterations to put them into context and

make them memorable."

"A house that has a library in it has a soul." Attributed to Plato by Robert Green Ingersoll in "The Liberty Of

All" (1877), but does not appear in Plato's writings.

"No rest for the wicked." Probably a corruption of Isaiah 57:21 "There is no peace, saith my God, to

the wicked."

Then came human beings, they wanted to cling but there was nothing tocling to. Thus I progressed on the surface of life, in the realm of words as it

were, never in reality. All those books barely read, those friends barelyloved, those cities barely visited, those women barely possessed! I wentthrough the gestures out of boredom or absent-mindedness. Then came the

human beings, they wanted to cling, but there was nothing to cling to, and

that was unfortunate - for them. As for me, I forgot. I never remembered

anything but myself.

Widely re-blogged quote with no evident primary source allegedlyoriginating with Albert Camus.

According to Goodreads, it's quoted from The Fall by Albert Camus. See

http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3324245-la-chute.

"Mate, how does it feel to have dropped the World Cup"

Allegedly by Steve Waugh to Herschelle Gibbs when Gibbs dropped a now

infamous catch that eventually assisted in South Africa being knocked out




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of the 1999 Cricket World Cup. Although some Australian cricketers claimthey heard this exchange, Waugh himself denies it was said.

"Because it's there"

George Mallory on why he wanted to climb Mount Everest. Questions have

been raised about the authenticity of this quote. It may have been invented

by a newspaper reporter.

"It's a funny old game"

Jimmy Greaves' autobiography "Greavsie" insists that, despite this quote

regularly being attributed to him, he has never used it. The misquotationmay arise from a trailer for the Central Television programme Spitting

Image during the mid-1980s.

"Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely."

This misquote hearkens back to the British Lord Acton, a 19th century

English historian who was commenting about tyrannical monarchs (Caesar,Henry VIII, Napoleon, various Russian Tsars, etc.). Lord Acton actuallywrote: "Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great

men are almost always bad men."

"Beam me up, Scotty" James T. Kirk

From the Star Trekscience fiction television series. Several variants of this

do occur in the series, such as "Energize", "Beam me aboard," "Beam us uphome," or "Two to beam up," but "Beam me up, Scotty" was never said

during the run of the original Star Trekseries. However, the quote "Beam usup, Scotty" was uttered in Star Trek: The Animated Series. The movie Star

Trek IV: The Voyage Home included the closest other variation: "Scotty,beam me up." James Doohan, the actor who played Scotty, did choose this

phrase as the title of his 1996 autobiography.

"Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor not a..." Leonard McCoy

From the Star Trekscience fiction television series. McCoy had several

lines of this sort, except that he never said "damn it". Only one "swear

word" was used on the original Star Trekseries (prior to the movies): "hell."

It was most famously spoken at the end of the episode entitled "City on theEdge of Forever": "Let's get the hell out of here" J. T. Kirk.

Used in Star Trek(2009).

"All that glistens is not gold" / "All that glitters is not gold" William

Shakespeare

Correct quote: "All that glisters is not gold". Often (usually) misquoted. Spoken by the Prince of Morocco in The Merchant of Venice




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"Blood, Sweat, and Tears" Winston Churchill

Correct quote: "I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat." The quote appeared in the bookMetropolis, written by Thea von Harbou

(wife ofMetropolis director Fritz Lang), first published in 1926. The text,

describing Freder Fredersen who has just finished his first day working to

keep the machines of Metropolis alive, states, "He tasted a salty taste on hislips, and did not know if it was from blood, sweat, or tears."

Notes: A similar quote from Winston Churchill can be found in a recorded

speech he gave to the House of Commons where he says " I have never

promised anything but blood, sweat and tears, now however we have a new

experience. We have victory. a..a remarkable victory. A bright gleam hascaught the helmets of our soldiers and warmed and cheered all our hearts."

The song from the movie The Longest Day says: " [...] Filled with hopesand filled with fears. Filled with blood and sweat and tears [...]"

Blood, Sweat and Tears is the name of the 1963 album from Johnny Cashwhich inspired the name for the music group formed in 1967 and may be

the source of confusion.

"God helps those who help themselves"

The saying is not biblical, although it is an ancient proverb that shows up in

the literature of many cultures, including a 1736 edition of Benjamin

Franklin's Poor Richard's Almanac. "There is a Rabbinic saying: "One who

comes to be purified is helped." which is quite similar. This is more or less identical to the message in one of the Aesop's fables,

about a man praying to Hercules. The saying is also found in Xenophon's masterpiece about Cyrus,

Cyropaedia.

Pretty much the motto on the coat of arms of Huddersfield

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coat_of_arms_of_Huddersfield) , England

'Juvat impigros deus'. Strictly speaking, God helps the industrious, but

locally translated as "God helps those who help themselves".

"Lead on, Macduff"

Correct quote: "Lay on, Macduff, and damned be him who first cries 'Hold!enough!'"- William Shakespeare (Macbeth)

"Bubble bubble, toil and trouble."

Correct quote: "Double, double toil and trouble." William Shakespeare

(Macbeth)

"Bubble bubble" was popularized in the hit Disney cartoonDuckTales "Much Ado About Scrooge." The witches on the island chanted "Bubble,




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bubble, toil and trouble. Leave this island on the double." Here the wordsfrom theMacbeth rhyming scheme are reversed.

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much"

Correct quote: "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." WilliamShakespeare (Hamlet)

This quote comes fromHamlet, Act 3, scene 2, line 254 (line accuracy maydiffer in varying versions of the play). During the time Hamlet was written,

the word "protest" meant "vow" or "declare solemnly" rather than "deny".

In this manner, Gertrude is making a comment about the Player Queen's

overzealous attachment to the Player King rather than a denial of guilt. The

quote is Gertrude's response to Hamlet's asking her if she is enjoying theplay. The play itself was written by Hamlet to evoke a response from a

mother: the play showcases the Player King and Player Queen acting out

what Hamlet believes was the truth of the murder of his father. Common

use of the quote implies that one is over-zealously denying something to thepoint where an audience would suspect the denials to be an attempt to hide

guilt. However, Gertrude is making a defense of her own character by

implying that the Player Queen is too eager to swear undying love to the

Player King. Gertrude is trying to tell Hamlet that the issue is not as black-

and-white as he sees it. Knowing what Hamlet is doing, she is critiquing herson's play while simultaneously informing him that he's got it wrong at

least as matters pertain to her.

"Money is the root of all evil."

In context: "For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while somecoveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselvesthrough with many sorrows." (1 Timothy 6:10) KJV (The King James

Bible)

Many translations render what the KJV renders as "the root" (originally

) as "a root" or "at the root" and "all evil" ( ) as "all sorts ofevil" or "all kinds of evil". (See also translations in New International

Version (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20timothy%206:10&version=31) ,New American Standard Bible

(http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20timothy%206:10&version=49) ,New Living Translation(http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20timothy%

206:10&version=51) .) All translations agree that it is the love of money,

rather than money itself, that is associated with evil.

"Now is the winter of our discontent."




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In context: "Now is the winter of our discontent / Made glorious summer bythis son of York." William Shakespeare (Richard III)

Notes: This is not a misquotation but a selective quotation, because thegrammar of the quotation is different from the grammar of the original, andhence the meaning may be lost on some. As misquoted, is is the main verb,

and the phrase means, "The winter of our discontent is happening now." In

the full quote, is is an auxiliary verb, and might be rephrased according to

modern usage, to clarify the meaning: "Now the winter of our discontent is

made into a glorious summer by this sun of York." (This sun of York and

not son, a punning reference to the coat of arms of Edward IV.)

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well." Correct quote: "Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio a fellow of

infinite jest, of most excellent fancy." William Shakespeare (Hamlet, Act

V, Scene I)

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand

ready to do violence on their behalf." Alternative: "We sleep safely at night because rough men stand ready to

visit violence on those who would harm us."

In his 1945 "Notes on Nationalism", Orwell claimed that the statement,

"Those who abjure violence can only do so because others are committing

violence on their behalf" was a "grossly obvious" fact. "Notes on

Nationalism" (http://www.george-orwell.org/Notes_on_Nationalism/0.html) Notes: allegedly said by George Orwell although there is no evidence that

Orwell ever wrote or uttered either of these versions of this idea. They dobear some similarity to comments made in an essay that Orwell wrote onRudyard Kipling, when quoting from one of his poems. Orwell didwrite, in

his essay on Kipling, that the latter's "grasp of function, of who protects

whom, is very sound. He sees clearly that men can only be highly civilized

while other men, inevitably less civilized, are there to guard and feed

them." (1942)

"Yes, making mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep" Rudyard Kipling (Tommy)

"I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a manwho rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that Iprovide, then questions the manner in which I provide it." Aaron

Sorkin (A Few Good Men)

Alternative: "We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready

in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm." WinstonChurchill (miscellaneous quotation, no date)




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"Play it again, Sam" Actual quote: "Play it once, Sam, for old times' sake, play 'As Time Goes

By'." Ingrid Bergman (Casablanca)

Actual quote: "You played it for her, you can play it for me. ... Ifshe canstand to listen to it,Ican. Play it." Humphrey Bogart (Casablanca)

Note: Woody Allen paid homage to Casablanca under the title Play It

Again, Sam, which is likely the source of much such misquotation.

The line first occurred in the Marx Brothers' filmA Night in Casablanca(1946), another possible source of the misquotation.

"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr DeMille"

Actual quote: "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up" GloriaSwanson (Sunset Boulevard)

"Greed is good"

Actual quote: "The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of abetter word, is good. Greed is right, greed works." Michael Douglas (Wall

Street)

"Someone set us up the bomb" Correct quote: "Somebody set up us the bomb"

The spoken words are "Someone set us up the bomb" in the flash animation(http://allyourbase.planettribes.gamespy.com/video1.shtml) which made the

phenomenon popular.

"somebody set up us the bomb" is a cheat code in Empire Earth to win the

game automatically. Notes: From a Japanese video game,Zero Wing, with a very unskilled and

amusing English translation. Similar to "all your base are belong to us",

which occurs in the same game.

"The rest is science"

Correct quote: "The rest is silence" William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

Notes: This phrase may also be used as a play on words, or even plain

prose, as when Steve Swallow, the jazz musician, said about jazzcomposition, "Eventually, an idea always comes, and then the rest is

science."

"To gild the lily"

Correct quote: "To gild refined gold, to paint the lily" WilliamShakespeare (The Life and Death of King John, Act IV, Scene II, line 13)

(Shakespeare was himself playing with the biblical story that says that one

does not need to add to what God has already done for the lily (Matt 6:28)

"See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell




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you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one ofthese.")

"Why don't you come up and see me sometime?"

Correct quote: "Why don't you come up sometime and see me? I'm homeevery evening." Mae West (She Done Him Wrong)

She switched the word order in her next film,I'm No Angel, where she doessay "Come up and see me sometime", but without the "Why don't you".

A mechanical mouse in a Tom and Jerry cartoon repeated "come up and see

me sometime."

"I am not a crook" Richard Nixon

Often attributed to his denial of any foreknowledge of the Watergate break-in, when in fact the question raised in a Press Conference was about hispersonal finances. Nixon's response, properly worded, was: "People have a

right to know whether their President is a crook. Well, I'm nota crook."

"You dirty rat!" Never said by James Cagney in any film. However, inBlonde Crazy (1931)

he says that another character is a "dirty, double-crossing rat!" In Taxi! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taxi!) (1932) James Cagney is ready

to kill a man who killed his brother, (hence the full misquote in TeenageMutant Ninja Turtles, "You dirty rat, you killed my brother") and says,

"Come out and take it,you dirty yellow-bellied rat, or I'll give it to youthrough the door!" This would be the closest true quotation in context and

wording. Also quoted in the 1934 Cole Porter musicalAnything Goes

Also quoted in the 1990 movieTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles by thecharacter Michelangelo in an attempt to impersonate James Cagney

"The only traditions of the Royal Navy are rum, sodomy and the lash."

Winston Churchill's personal secretary, Anthony Montague-Browne, saidthat although Churchill did not say this, he wished he had.

"A language is a dialect with a Navy."

Original (in Yiddish): " " (Ashprakh iz a dialekt mit an armey un flot) "A language is a dialect with an

army and navy."

This was not said by Otto von Bismarck, but rather by the linguist MaxWeinreich.

"The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in times of great moralcrisis maintain their neutrality", or a variation on that.




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This was stated by John F. Kennedy and attributed by him to Dante [2](http://www.bartleby.com/73/1211.html) . However, in theDivine Comedy

those who "non furon ribelli n fur fedeli" neither rebelled against nor

were faithful to God are located directly inside the gate of Hell, a regionneither hot nor cold (Inferno, canto 3); the lowestpart of Hell, a frigid lake

of ice, was for traitors.

"A damn close run thing" - Arthur Wellesley, the 1st Duke of Wellington,

referring to his victory over Napoleon at Waterloo.

He actually said "It has been a damn nice thing-the nearest run thing you

ever saw...", where he used nice in the archaic meaning of "careful or

precise" and not the modern "attractive or agreeable" or the even morearchaic meaning of "foolish".

"Do you feel lucky, punk?" Clint Eastwood as Harry Callahan inDirty Harry

Correct quote plus context: "Ah-ah. I know what you're thinking: 'Did hefire six shots, or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement

I kind of lost track myself. But, being as this is a .44 Magnum, the mostpowerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've

got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, PUNK?"

Jim Carrey's character in The Maskparaphrased Harry Callahan by

speaking this misquote.

"Whenever I hear the word 'culture' I reach for my revolver."

The actual quote is "Wenn ich Kultur hre ... entsichere ich meinen

Browning!" This translates as: "Whenever I hear [the word] 'culture'... Iremove the safety from my Browning!"

This quote is often mistakenly attributed to leading Nazi Hermann Goering,

or occasionally to Julius Streicher, a lower-ranking Nazi. Thismisattribution may date from the famous Frank Capra documentaries (Why

We Fight) shown to American troops before shipping out.

In fact, it is a line uttered by the character Thiemann in Act 1, Scene 1 of

the play Schlageter, written by Hanns Johst. The association with Nazism is

appropriate, as the play was first performed in April 1933, in honor of

Hitler's birthday. Baldur von Schirach, head of the Hitlerjugend, delivered this sentence in a

public speech, circa 1938. A footage of the scene, with von Schirachactually drawing his gun, appears in Frederic Rossif's documentary "from

Nurnberg to Nurnberg". Notes: It is possible that this is actually a rather more felicitous phrase in

translation than it is in the original. Both the original German and thisEnglish translation were juxtaposed by Howard Thomas in his review of an




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article by Nicholas H. Battey in theJournal of Experimental Biology,December 2002, as "the famous words of Hanns Johst: 'Wenn ich Kultur

hre ... entsichere ich meinen Browning' 'Whenever I hear the wordculture, I reach for my revolver.'"

The phrase itself may be a play on words as the word Browning may refer

to both a pistol and the English poet Robert Browning.

Additionally it should be noted that a Browning (most likely the M1935

High-Power) is not a revolver, but a magazine-fed semi-automatic pistol.

However, at the time the word "Browning" was used to refer to any pistol,

much as "Colt" is used for any revolver in westerns.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" The correct quotation is "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned/ Nor

hell a fury like a woman scorned." by William Congreve in The MourningBride of 1697.

"Don't fire till you see the whites of their eyes."

This quotation is usually attributed to Andrew Jackson at the Battle of NewOrleans.

In fact, it originates with Colonel William Prescott commander of George

Washington's Continental Army, at the Battle of Bunker Hill. The full

quotation is, "Don't fire till you see the whites of their eyes. Then,fire

low!"

Source: George Washington's Warby Robert Leckie

"Houston, we have a problem" This phrase, supposedly uttered by Apollo 13 commander, Jim Lovell was,

in its original rendering: "Houston, we've had a problem here. We've had a

main B bus undervolt". However, the first notification to Houston that therewas a problem was by fellow astronaut Jack Swigert, who used almost

identical words. The official NASA chronology [3](http://www.hq.nasa.gov/office/pao/History/Timeline/apollo13chron.html)

lists the messages as:

55:55:20 Swigert: "Okay, Houston, we've had a problem here."

55:55:28 Lousma: "This is Houston. Say again please."

55:55:35 Lovell: "Houston, we've had a problem. We've had a main B bus

undervolt."

However, in the movie Apollo 13, Tom Hanks says Houston, we have aproblem,. [4] (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112384/quotes?qt0476805)




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"Kismet Hardy / Kiss me, Hardy" British Vice Admiral Horatio Nelson

Nelson is rumoured to have said "Kismet Hardy" or "Kiss me, Hardy"whilst he was dying. Kismet means Fate. However, the OED gives the

earliest use in the English language of "kismet" as 1849. While on hisdeathbed Nelson did say Kiss me, Hardy to his Flag Captain, Thomas

Masterman Hardy, but they were not his final words, and Hardy was notpresent at Nelson's death. Nelson's actual final words (related by HMS

Victory's Surgeon William Beatty, who was with him when he died) were

"Thank God, I have done my duty. Drink, drink. Fan, fan. Rub, rub".

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing" Edmund Burke

The above is most likely a summary of the following quote in Burke's"Thoughts on the Cause of Present Discontents": "When bad men combine,

the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrificein a contemptible struggle."

Also attributed to Alexis de Tocqueville.

"We don't need no steenking badges!" Bandit in The Treasure of the SierraMadre

The original quote is "Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no

badges. I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!"

This quote is actually from the filmBlazing Saddles, in an obvious spoof of

the original source.

When the newly recruited Mexican Bandits are presented badges fortheir participation in the upcoming raid on the town of Rock Ridge, the

leader responds with: "Badges? We don't need no stinking badges."

The line was again misquoted in the movie The Ninth Configuration, inwhich a group of mental patients spend their time playing a game called

"Famous Lines from Famous Movies" where one person quotes a line andthe rest must identify the movie.

This is also quoted in the Weird Al Yankovic film UHF, with 'badges'replaced with 'badgers'.

A varient of this line Was used by the Decepticon Starscream in theTransformers episode "Ghost in the Machine", where he is quoted as saying

"Passes? We don't need to show you no stinking passes!"

"Spare the rod, spoil the child"

There are numerous proverbs dealing with the subject of discipline in

childrearing, but this is the closest: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son:but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." Bible (King James

Version), Proverbs 13:24




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This quote can be found in "Hudibras" by Samuel Butler a poem in the1600s

"Crisis? What crisis?"- British Prime Minister James Callaghan

This was a headline from The Sun newspaper (11 January 1979) referring toCallaghan's reply at an improvised press conference. Asked "What is your

general approach, in view of the mounting chaos in the country at themoment?", Callaghan replied "Well, that's a judgment that you are making.

I promise you that if you look at it from outside, and perhaps you're taking

rather a parochial view at the moment, I don't think that other people in the

world would share the view that there is mounting chaos."

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

This quote is often attributed to Sigmund Freud to show that even that afamous psychoanalyst can admit that not everything has a profound

meaning; However, no variation of this quote ever appears in his writings. Itwas probably falsely attributed by a journalist, long after Freud's death.

Actually, the quote is "Sometimes a pipe is just a pipe." The story goes thatFreud was lecturing on oral fixation and one of his cheekier students asked

about his ever-present pipe and Freud replied, sometimes a pipe is just a

pipe.[citation needed]

An alternative from Rudyard Kipling, from his poem "The Betrothed":

"A million surplus Maggies are willing to bear the yoke;And a woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke."

"Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words."

Often attributed to Francis of Assisi, the origin of this quote is unknown.

"Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart.

Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains." Often attributed to Winston Churchill ([5]

(http://www.winstonchurchill.org/learn/speeches/quotations/quotes-falsely-

attributed) ). The phrase originated with Francois Guisot (1787-1874): "Notto be a republican at twenty is proof of want of heart; to be one at thirty is

proof of want of head." It was revived by French Premier GeorgesClemenceau (1841-1929): "Not to be a socialist at twenty is proof of want

of heart; to be one at thirty is proof of want of head."

"I woke up this mornin' and I got myself a beer." Correctly, according to the book "Light My Fire" by fellow Doors member

Ray Manzarek, Jim Morrison was in fact singing "I woke up this mornin'




17/22

and I got myself a beard", as the song allegedly tells of Morrison waking upafter 3 weeks of drug induced sleep.

The line "I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer" was inspired by

Alice Cooper. He and Morrison were talking at the recording studio justbefore Jim went to record this song. He asked Alice about his day and he

responded "Ehh.. Woke up this morning.... got myself a beer." Morrisondecided to use the line in the song. Repeated in many interviews with Alice

Cooper over the years. [6](http://www.uncut.co.uk/news/the_doors/news/11838)

Let them eat cake.

This was never said by Marie Antoinette. Jean-Jacques Rousseau, in his1783 autobiography Confessions, relates that "a great princess" is said to

have advised, with regard to starving peasants, "Sils nont plus de pain,quils mangent de la brioche," commonly translated as "If they have no

bread, let them eat cake!" It has been speculated that he was actuallyreferring to Maria Theresa of Spain. (Rousseau's manuscript was written in

1767, when Marie Antoinette was only 12 and would not marry the future

Louis XVI for another three years.)

You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!

While Jack Nicholson does indeed say the second part of this line in the

filmA Few Good Men, the correct dialogue sequence is: "You want

answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the truth!" Cruise'scharacter, in response to being asked if he wants answers, responds that he

thinks he is entitled; asked again if he wants answers, Cruise states that hewants the truth. This sets off the monologue from Nicholson that beginswith "You can't handle the truth!" This misquotation is commonly used in

parodies of the scene, including twice on The Simpsons.

Hello, Clarice.

This line, while occasionally used in parody of the filmThe Silence of the

Lambs, was never once used in the film itself. However, Anthony Hopkins's

character, Hannibal Lecter, does at one point utter a similar phrase of "Good

evening, Clarice." On the other hand in the sequelHannibal, when thedoctor answers detective Pazzi's cell phone, just before he pushes him off

the library balcony, Dr. Lecter greets Agent Starling with the following, "Isthis Clarice? Well, hello Clarice..."

Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten me into

Attributed to Oliver Hardy, and often said after another one of Stan Laurel'smistakes.




18/22

The actual quote was "Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten meinto!", which was said in the 1930's short The Hardy Murder Case although

there were several variations in subsequent films. The short which followed

The Hardy Murder Case wasAnother Fine Mess, which is presumably thesource.

Ray Stevens later recorded a song that quoted "Here's another fine mess

you've gotten me into / another fine mess, ah well, what else is new."

Actually, first written by W. S. Gilbert in the operetta, "The Mikado" ("The

Mikado" libretto (http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/mikado/mk_lib.pdf) , see

pg 32, 1st dialogue line after the song), published in 1885. The original lineis "Well, a nice mess you've gotten us in to..." spoken by the character Ko-

Ko to Pooh-Bah, in reaction to a lie the two of them, and another character,

have told to get out of trouble, but which has resulted in them getting into

even more. The ubiquitous popularity of some of Gilbert & Sullivan's works(specifically The Mikado and HMS Pinafore) has led to any number of

phrases from their operetti entering into the common lexicon, frequently nolonger recognized as quotes (see this review(http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/mikado/html/mikado_by_mencken.html) by

H. L. Mencken of the Baltimore Evening Sun, November 29, 1910, or thisone

(http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/pinafore/html/pinafore_by_mencken.html) ,same journalist, same paper, 1911).

I'm out of order? You're out of order! This whole court's out of order!

Actual quote: "You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is

out of order! They're out of order!" Character of Arthur Kirkland in ...And Justice for All in response to Judge

Rayford saying "Mr. Kirkland, you are out of order."

I am the devil, and I have come to do the devil's work.

Usually misattributed to Charles Manson, in regard to the murders at the

home of Sharon Tate. Manson was not present at any of the murders known

to have been committed by his followers. The actual phrase, though not assaid above, was uttered by Charles "Tex" Watson to Wojciech "Voytek"

Frykowski. "I'm the devil, and I'm here to do the devil's work" is spoken by the

character Otis (Bill Moseley) in Rob Zombie's film The Devil's Rejects,

most likely as a tribute or homage of some kind to the original quote.

Actual quote: "I'm the devil, I'm here to do the devil's business. Give me all

your money."

Music hath/has charms to soothe the savage beast.




19/22

A misquotation of William Congreve's play, The Mourning Bride, (1697). Actual quote: "Musick has Charms to sooth a savage Breast. To soften

Rocks, or bend a knotted Oak."

See Wikipedia listing for William Congreve(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Congreve_(playwright)

#.22Music_hath_charms_to_soothe_a_savage_breast.22)

Only the Dead have seen the end of War. Attributed to Plato, but actually written by George Santayana in his The Life

of Reason (1953). It was first misquoted in one of retired general Douglas

MacArthur's farewell speeches and then crept into popular use.

"A rose by any other name smells just as sweet."

Actual quote: "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any otherword would smell as sweet."

Act II, scene ii of William Shakespeare'sRomeo and Juliet Captain Kirk misquotes the line in the original Star Trekseries episode "By

Any Other Name."

"If you build it, they will come" Actual quote: "If you build it, he will come" from Field of Dreams.

Possibly a confusion of the Wayne's World 2 quote "If you book them, they

will come." Said by the spirit of Jim Morrison.

"'Step into my parlor,' said the spider to the fly."

Actual quote: "Will you walk into my parlor?" said the spider to the fly"from "The Spider and the Fly".

Also referenced on the song "Spider to the Fly" by the Paper Chase

"Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think" Actual quote: "Brain: An apparatus with which we think that we think"

from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary

"Nul points" The French phrase is often attributed to the annualEurovision Song Contest

in the media and elsewhere, most notably in the episode ofFather Ted,"Song for Europe". However, only points from one to twelve (un douze)

are given during the song contest. The phrase refers to the final score after acountry has received no votes at all.

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall..." The Queen in Snow White and the Seven

Dwarfs




20/22

The correct quote is "Magic mirror on the wall (followed by "who is thefairest one of all?" and, later in the film, "who now is the fairest one of

all?") The misquotation does however echo the original Grimm "Spieglein,

Spieglein, an der Wand, Wer ist die Schnste im ganzen Land?" (but thestory existed before Grimm).

"Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum, I smell the blood of Englishman, Be him alive or be he dead,I'll grind his bones to make my bread."

Should this be quoting from Joseph Jacobs'English Fairy Tales it should

say "Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum, I smell the blood of Englishman, Be him alive or be he

dead, I'll have his bones to grind my bread." but of course, most people

aren't trying to.

Luke, I am Your Father Darth Vader in Star Wars Episode V: The EmpireStrikes Back

The correct quote is: Darth Vader: Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke Skywalker: He told me enough! He told me you killed him! Darth Vader: No. I am your father.

Luke Skywalker: No... that's not true! That's impossible!

Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink. A misquotation from the poem The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by

Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1834).

Actual quote: Water, water, every where, / And all the boards did shrink; /

Water, water, every where, / Nor any drop to drink.

"Brace yourself, winter is coming" Attributed to Eddard (Ned) Stark, but never in the series does he say the two

phrases sequentially.

"And I would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those meddlingkids!"

Commonly attributed to various Scooby-Doo villains after being

apprehended and unmasked at the end of the mystery.

This quote is a pastiche of the various lines delivered by villains. Somevillains would come close to uttering the line but would substitute

"meddlers" or "pesky kids" or some variation. Some villains would use the

"meddling kids" part but only a part of the rest of the line. Many villainsremained silent upon arrest. This line, however, was used in a Direct TV

commercial featuring Scooby Doo.




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Commonly misquoted

People

Because they are well-known wits, sages, or malapropists, certain people are commonlygiven credit for statements they are not known to have made. Among the more common

false authors:

Yogi Berra

Otto von Bismarck George Carlin

Winston Churchill

Kurt Cobain

Confucius Albert Camus

Albert Einstein

Benjamin Franklin Bill Gates

Samuel Goldwyn

Tom Hanks

Bruce Lee

John Madden

Margaret Mitchell Dorothy Parker Dan Quayle

William Shakespeare George Bernard Shaw

John Steinbeck

Mark Twain

Kurt Vonnegut

Oscar Wilde

Morgan Freeman

Further reading

Ralph Keyes: "Nice guys finish seventh False phrases, spurious sayings andfamiliar misquotations", HarperCollins 1992, ISBN 0062720392.

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